Our 27 y/o son died June 1. We just got the tox report. Cocaine and alcohol. He was a gifted attorney with an amazing girlfriend, parents who loved, encouraged and supported him with his whole life ahead of him. Why would he throw away EVERYTHING he worked so hard for this way. I’m just numb. Where did we go wrong? We taught him better than this and now I feel like we were being snowed by him. His gf is the sweetest person in the world and was always on him about eating healthy and taking care of himself! She would be devastated to know the truth. They were doing a long distance relationship, seeing each other every 2 weeks and she was moving to be closer to him next month. I never suspected this in a million years. I feel like not only did my son died but the image of the man I thought I knew and loved did as well. I swear this hurts more than the initial phone call…

Yesterday, my sister was found by her roommate dead in their room. She hanged herself using a bedsheet. My mother called me for the first time in two years to break the news. I didn't believe her. I thought she just wanted to have access to me until our youngest came to the phone. He was the closest to where she lived. When they talked to her friends, they said she hadn't seen her on campus since the semester started almost two weeks ago. It took 3 days of constant messaging before she responded to them. She told them that she was "alive and well" and that she was going home for a while. I don't know how to feel anything. I tried to call her phone. I still have the instinct to call and scold her. To tell her she's dumb or so selfish. That I didn't waste almost four years of putting her through school for nothing while working in another country. She was smarter than that. I don't know why she would do that. I'm so mad. I was coming home. Why couldn't she wait? We could have talked.

I know this might sound silly to some people, but today was actually a really important day for me. I went out hunting for Needohs at Target, and it was a bigger deal than just finding a squishy toy.

After my dad passed away unexpectedly, I developed severe anxiety and agoraphobia. Things that used to feel normal — like leaving the house, going into stores, or being out by myself — became really hard. I’ve been working on taking small steps, even when my anxiety tells me not to.

Today I pushed myself to go to Target. I walked in, looked around, searched for the Needohs I’ve been wanting, and I did it even though I was anxious. I actually found one I was hoping for (the cloud pleaser ☁️ ), but the biggest win was proving to myself that I could go.

My dad always believed in me, and I think he would’ve been proud that I’m still trying and still finding little moments of happiness.

So here’s to the little victories — and to Needoh hunting being a form of exposure therapy I never expected 😂💗

I was holding his hand when he took his last breaths. Counted the seconds between his last gasps for air as the pause between them became longer. Watched my mom fall apart as the love of her life died in front of her.

I laid on his chest and felt him, his muscle, his ribs, his collar bone, his face. Stared at the blackheads on his nose, the crust around his eyes. Ran my hands through his hair, across his forehead. Felt his prominent nose with my fingers. I can feel the skin and bone still.

Laying my head on his chest and hearing no heartbeat, hearing no more breaths. Hugging and shaking him. Kissing his face, his hands, his wedding band.

Leaving his body in the hospital room. Covering his face with the sheet and uncovering it twice because I couldn’t leave him there. Leaving him at the hospital. Imagining his body, where it is now, in a morgue, waiting to be incinerated. His body burning and becoming ashes. Stupid fucking little ashes. All that life, love, everything reduced to ashes. Fucking bullshit

He was 78 years old, and it was very fast. Stage 4 esophageal cancer. I got engaged the same week he was diagnosed 3 weeks ago.

My mom is 68 and I am 27f. She is a widow. His things are in every corner of the house, every drawer, his favorite ratty hoodies lying around. His shaving cream on the bathroom counter.

Indescribable pain. The worst day of my life.

Without getting into details, I suffer from endometriosis, a myriad of mental health conditions, and a long list of old injuries including but not limited to a broken back. After having been medically discharged from the military, I’m faced with proving how disabled I am every year to be on a government check. It’s not something I’m interested in pursuing.

That being said, I still want my better half to keep on living and he is not understanding why I want to apply for medical assistance in death.

I’m in pain, I’m tired of the medications and the med trials that make me feel sick in so many ways. After watching the world kind of fall apart during COVID (I was a registered nurse), I really don’t want to keep going.

What can I do to support my loved ones in this transition?

Hi, so it's been 3 months and I think I am going crazy.

I lost him so sudden, after 44 years of him there, he is gone. No more advice, no more criticism.

The second I hear his voice I cry a river, then I get angry at him for not looking after self.

Listen to him music hoping I feel something other than sadness and hate. But it's like all I have.

I called him every 2 days. always asking him how he was. Telling him about my day.

A month before he passed he told me how I was the only one who called. It broke me since I was one of 5 of his kids..

I then invited him to to woodworking and do some fishing over the summer.

And he was keen.

I think now of him dying alone no one around him scared. Laying there on that cold concrete, hit heart getting slower and nothing.

I think about that last week was there any signs and I can't think of a single one.

And then there the worst part that it took 45 minutes to get an ambulance to him he should have been hightest priority.

For 3 months each day feels heavy and fragile like I can break at any time.

I feel like I just need to rant to get this out. Music don't help and writting letters to him don't as well.

My dad keeps telling me he wants to die.

The months after mom's death have been difficult, and I've been really depressed. I've been to therapy and I've done my best to learn to live in some way, even though my heart is in pieces. I've also been looking after my dad. I wash his laundry, arrange all domestic things for him, make sure he eats...

My dad has Asperger's and he's blind, so that gives it all a new layer. Mom was the love of his life, and he has trouble socializing without her. In June, he contacted a group of people he knows from church and suggested they'd meet at his place some time in July. These friends agreed to come over, but now they've all canceled. Dad was so sad today and said he's really disappointed. He had made all kinds of plans and had tried to make his home nice for them etc.

He doesn't really have real friends because mom was the heart of his social life. All their friends were actually her friends. Now light has gone out of his life entirely.

He's told me several times that he wants to die, that this life has nothing more to give him, and that he doesn't have anything more to give to this life.

I always listen and try to comfort him, even though I feel basically the same way. I've suggested a grief group, but he snapped at me and said he doesn't need help. I call him every day and go meet him several times a week, so he won't be so alone. But I'm barely above the surface myself.

I do have one brother, but he can be pretty toxic. When my dad last visited their family, my brother had been abusive to my niece (dad said my brother made her cry every day). Dad got really mad about it and yelled at my brother. After that we haven't heard from my brother, and I know my dad misses his granddaughter and is so sorry about all that went on. This has happened before and that time I got involved and had them talk to each other again. But this time I'm not on speaking terms with my brother either, so I can't help them. I wish they could make up, for the sake of my niece who likely also misses her grandpa.

I feel like everything went to ashes when mom passed away. I can't save my dad if he doesn't want to be saved, but it hurts to see him like this, to hear that he wants to die. It's its own kind of torture, on top of everything.

This is an awful thing to say and I know it, but I feel like I would be in a better place mentally, if I could focus on my own grief&life and wasn't so involved in my dad's life. But if I'm not there for him, then he has no one. My heart can't take that. I love him so much.

These are the kind of things I would have discussed with mom. She would have known what to do.

My dad had been battling a rare autoimmune disease called scleroderma for the past eight years. I still remember the day we first searched it on Google. It said the life expectancy was around 8–10 years, and I remember crying hysterically. I couldn’t imagine losing him.
Over the years, the strongest person I knew slowly became frail and weak.
For the last four years, he lived with my mom while my brother and I had moved away for college, but he kept traveling for treatment. My parents had their share of fights, but despite that, I was always incredibly close to my dad.
In November 2025, just two months before he passed, he was admitted to the ICU. That was the first time I truly felt like I was going to lose him. Somehow, he recovered. I remember sleeping beside him in the hospital, watching him joke with the nurses and listen to old Bollywood songs on TV. He was eventually discharged, but something had changed.
He had already been hospitalized before, including for a pacemaker, but after this admission he became noticeably weaker. He lost a lot of weight, and I did everything I could to care for him. I helped bathe him, changed his clothes, combed his hair—anything that would make things easier for him.
On the night he passed away, I had secretly ordered a birthday cake that was supposed to arrive the next morning.
A few moments before everything happened, he called my name. I ignored him because I thought he just needed help with some work and I pretended to be asleep in the other room. That decision still haunts me.
Then I suddenly heard him coughing. I ran to him, and things quickly became worse. He wanted to go to the bathroom but couldn’t get up, so I called my mom. He ended up passing stool on my bed and immediately became embarrassed. Even in that moment, he covered himself with a small towel because he didn’t want me to see him like that. I pretended not to notice to protect his dignity.
A few moments later, he lay down on my bed. The ambulance arrived, but there was nothing they could do. He passed away on my bed.
For the first few hours, I didn’t even cry. I was completely numb. It didn’t feel real.
At that time, I didn’t have a job, and my mom is a freelancer. I was also in my final year of college while placements were going on.
Just 10 days later, on February 11, I celebrated my first birthday without him. The very next day, I attended an interview that I somehow managed to clear, and I started my internship on February 23.
For February, March, and April, I barely cried. I thought maybe I was handling it well.
But now everything has hit me.
I miss him every single day. Every night I cry. I feel depressed, anxious, and like I’m getting worse instead of better. I’ve also started distancing myself from my mom, and I don’t even know why. I just want my dad back.
On top of that, I’m dealing with financial stress. My internship is ending soon, I haven’t been offered a full-time role, and I’m terrified about my future. I constantly feel like I’ve failed him

It has been 82 days since my dad passed unexpectedly and everyday feels just as awful as the first ones, I think today was even worse than the first week. I miss him so much and I just want him back, the worse part is that somehow I think he will come back.

I hate being alive, I don't find joy in anything, I wake up and I just do whatever so the time passes and I can go back to sleep, life in my dreams feels better than my actual life so being awake is torture, I can't imagine 1, 5, 10 years of this, much less 30 or 40.

Nobody talks about my dad, it's like he never existed, my mother, sister and niece seem like they have already moved on, how can anyone move on in a few months after living with someone for decades? I just cry when I'm alone and people think I'm better so nobody checks on me.

I'm so tired, I just want to be with my dad.

Does anyone else not accept the loss, like the brain..not working? can't think about the fact that they will never really be here again. I read the posts here, it's been almost 2 months, my beloved dreams of me every day, but when I don't eat anything or eat little, the brain doesn't think, there are no tears. I feel a lick of emptiness and imagine scenarios where I save her

Im just dealing with the year after losing my dad... and im finding the milestones a lot harder.

He died before fathers day and before my birthday, by a month/two.

I think.. maybe i hadnt quite processed his death enough last year for me to really feel it, maybe?

Because this year... fathers day was like a repeated shot to my chest every time i went in a shop. And my birthday is coming up and ALL i can think about is how he isnt here to say happy birthday, to give me a shit card with a couple of copper coins taped in...

This year is just harder than last...

I guess i wondered if anyone had felt similar?

I work at a Foster Care Agency. I've known this child since he was placed in his current Foster home 1 1/2 years ago. He was also Autistic. He loved: Super Why, Bluey, Cars, Minecraft, Roblox, music, and playing outside. Was a fun kid to be around. I was one of his workers for a while, until I moved departments. However, I have been close with the Foster Family for years now. He was diagnosed with Leukemia this past March. He caught rhinovirus a few weeks ago, which landed him in the hospital. Fungal pneumonia then developed in his lungs. I had just seen him the day before, visiting outside of work hours. I would help be with him sometimes while the Foster mom took care of his siblings. She was a few hours away taking care of things at their new house. She called me screaming crying at 9pm. Told me "The doctors have been working on him for 20 minutes. He's not going to make it. I don't want him to die alone. Can you please go over there? I'm on my way, but two hours away". For context, I was about 15 minutes from the hospital. I raced over as fast as I could. Nurses were outside his hospital room crying. Janitors were cleaning and mopping. I knew he was gone at that point. A supervisor from my agency showed up, and we waited together for Foster mom to arrive. My heart is so broken. He was never "my" child, but I consider all children I work with to be "mine". I'm not sure how to grieve or go through this process. The last person I lost was my grandmother in 2012. I have never lost a child in my life. I'm just an agency worker. I wasn't family, I wasn't part of his daily life, but I hope I made a difference. Rest peacefully buddy.

I lost my mom after a long battle with her illness at the end of April. I still cannot function like a normal person and it’s impacting my job and relationships. Is this just going to be my life now? When do you get better? I know no one can give me a specific timeline but if anyone can tell me when they started to feel like they were healing that would be appreciated

My dad was diagnosed with esophageal cancer September 2021. He passed December 24, just three months later. None of us had enough time to process what was happening. I was able to help care for him for the last two weeks of his life, but I never got the chance to tell him how much I loved him. 11 months later, my sister died in an accident. After we took care of my sisters cremation, I remember sitting on my couch, numb and in shock. I gave myself permission to feel my feelings and take time to try to heal. It’s been four years since my dad died and three years since my sister died. I imagined or at least hoped that it would get easier. Some days are better than others, but I constantly have memories that pull me back. Especially to the room my dad died in. I feel such a deep sense of loss like I’m missing a huge part of myself and who I used to be. I heard a quote that said when you lose your father, you sink one foot deeper into the Earth.

Does it ever get any easier or does grief just change with time? Will I ever be able to get through an entire day without crying?

I am 20 years old and my dad passed away yesterday morning. I was woken up by his cries and my mom called 911. The ambulance took him to the hospital and I'm afraid they didn't treat him in time. He had an aortic dissection and it hurts me so terribly to know that he died in pain. My mom said that they were both talking in his hospital room, and all of a sudden my dad started convulsing, followed by my moms screams. I rushed me and my older brother to go see him and that's when she told me the horrible news. I saw his cold dead body. He was once a warm man and now he was in his bed, pale and cold. I only stroked his soft hair. My extended family were on their way to see them, but I felt so sick that I had to get out of there immediately. I spent most of the day grieving with my friends as I couldn't bare to be home, the carpets and some items messed up on the floor from him struggling to survive. My mom slept in my bed with me. I don't know what to do. I am about to start university next month i don't know what to do without him. I want to care so deeply for my mom but it's hard to even feed myself. How long does grief even last.

Last night I dreamt about a coworker that had passed away earlier this year, that I’ve never dreamt about before ever. And my dog passed away unexpectedly this afternoon.

I’ve never posted here before but this happened some months ago and I have no idea what to make of it and I really need help from someone who will understand. I feel like my feelings have nowhere to go and I can’t talk to anybody.

I’m a broke kid, 17 yo, so last Christmas I just made handmade gifts. I made handmade personalized cards for everybody, and so I made one for my older sister too. We lost her suddenly two years ago (12/12/24) from fentanyl overdose so the holidays are especially rough. I wrote everything that I wanted to say to her in the letter, sealed it, and left it under the tree. I didn’t even let my mom read it, though she asked. It’s supposed to be just between me and her. The letter got put in her corner (above the piano with pictures of her, her urn, and her favorite things) and is still there.

Well a couple months ago my little brothers dad (we do not share a dad and my mom is no longer with him) came over to see him and while I was upstairs he opened the letter and read it. Didn’t even ask. When I came back down he sat me down to talk about the contents of the letter and give me some advice. I broke down into tears, which he seemed to take as grieving tears (and some were) but it was mostly out of frustration and confusion. On one hand, the advice he gave was pretty solid, and I know he’s coming from a loving and understanding place. He lost his 7 year old son from his previous marriage in 2021, so he knows grief.

On the other hand, i’m really upset. I’m still upset. That letter was only for my sister. He saw a sealed letter addressed to my deceased sister and decided it was within his right to be the one to open it. I feel like it ruined it. How can I know that my sister got to read the letter if he opened it for himself? I’m really conflicted about this because I don’t think he had any ill intention but I can’t help but feel upset about this. I have not brought it up to him that what he did upset me, and I don’t intend to. I don’t have a good relationship with him in the first place and avoid him mostly. That’s another reason why I can’t understand why he would read it, we aren’t even close. Does anybody have any advice or input on this that can help me deal with this? Any kind words are appreciated.

The pictures are of the letter and my beautiful sister. She would be turning 28 this year :)

I don’t even know what to do right now.

I just found out my dad’s longtime girlfriend (basically my stepmom) passed away. They would’ve been together 10 years this august. My dad died 2 months ago, and she was doing really really badly emotionally. I don’t know the cause yet, but I think she had a broken heart. She’s one of the only people who really knew my dad, and now I feel like I lost another part of him.

I’m hurting so badly, but I can at least hope they’re happy together wherever they are ❤️

I was so fortunate to be born with all four grandparents and to have three of them until last year (the first passed when I was an older kid). I have my mom's parents, thank God, but my dad's mom, my other grandmother, passed in November. I live close to where she did and I would visit her as much as I could. She and I would go on girls' days out a lot, we had special rituals, we got along so well and I even look like her. I did my engagement pictures at her house to involve her and my grandfather in a way since neither could make my wedding. She always told me how proud she was of me. I remember her telling me too that if anything ever happened I could always come to her house, she was telling me that even when she was so sick and bedridden. She was sick during a lot of my major life changes (marriage, moving, graduation, first real job) and I just wish she could still be here. I miss her so much. I feel incomplete.

My mom's parents, as I said, are still around, and fairly well. But my grandfather's birthday is soon and he is turning the age my grandmother was when she passed. I feel like I will just die too whenever either of them goes, I am incredibly close with them.

She always had my favorite candy at the house for me, and she always would compliment my piano skills (which were no good) whenever I played for her, and she and I got along so very well even though she could be a tough cookie sometimes. She was never anything less than a strong willed woman and even sick she was petting my hair with my head in her lap. She could do anything.

I just miss and want my grandmother. And I don't want anything to happen to my mom's parents. I am just a scared and sad little girl inside, I grew up, yes, but I will always be their little girl too, and this little girl needs her grandmother very much right now.

I’m no stranger to loss. My Mom died 10 years ago, my sister died 5 years ago and my Dad died in June. But this is honestly one of the most shocking and f*cked up things I’ve ever experienced. He was 33, had a very loving family and there were no signs that anything was wrong. He didn’t pick his Mom up from the airport on Monday and when she got home she found the note he left. After a couple of hours of frantic searching, his Dad found him in the corner of the backyard. I am so angry he did this to his Mother. I’m so sad he felt he had to do this. I am so shocked that it doesn’t even feel like I’m in my body.

specially when the person faked it from the beginning? while you wanted something genuine and something meaningful?

I’ve lost my mother in February, it’s strange to think about frankly how many months it’s been already. In that time I’ve rarely allowed myself to cry or think about her at all. I shed a few tears in my bed if I read her old texts or if a memory of her reappears in my head but I feel as though there’s a mental blockage regarding the event. All my life I built it around her and now that she’s gone I feel that I have no one anymore. I feel that if I really start crying about her I’ll never stop crying, like I’d never get up again. In the time that she’s left I’ve been trying my best to get on with life. I’ve made strides towards where I want to go but everything feels so hollow and meaningless. At all times I feel like an imposter in my own body. I’m more sensitive and tired than I’ve ever been. I feel like a child in an adults body. My daydreams have turned from the amazing to self soothing fantasies. Its been eating me alive