My mom has done this but I've always found it a bit odd. Is this common?

Hi all!

It’s me. Again. So I am beginning to reach out to homes around me for part time work. I’m also stating that I am fine with part time volunteer work. It’s so hard to get your foot in the door, I’ll take unpaid labor at this point just to get in there.

I work a full time job. We don’t do super great financially. I’m willing to go part time at my regular job if I got paid for 2 days at a FH. I’m willing to cut my work hours by one day to even work in a funeral home unpaid.

Logistically I’m running a million potential staffing/scheduling scenarios in my head, trying to make a plan preemptively on how I would work around the necessity to work a job, and start to get experience as well. What are the schedules usually like? My only stipulations are that I can’t do on call during week days (unless they were designated days in which case I would drop down at my job). Is this really, really stupid, this stipulation? I’m trying every which way to make this work in my head. Or are you always on call all the time as an attendant/there are no set schedules? I don’t want to sound dumber than I already do; I literally haven’t even gotten to talking about schedules yet. All I’m getting is “I’m going to take your name and number down”. I am hesitant to go in person just yet because I really don’t want to accidentally walk in at a terrible time, I’d be mortified. Please any advice would be appreciated! I should be starting at CIFS next July so I’m trying to get as much experience as I possibly can.

When my grandfather passed back in 2020, we couldn’t afford a gravemarker, now we finally can. We went to the cemetery atl purchased one and they said it would take 9 months? Is that normal? It just the classic 12x24 marker, no vase

Also my god, why is it so expensive😭 $2400 for a stone, is crazy

I’m really heartbroken but I’ve come to the decision I’m going to be leaving funeral service after being licensed for almost 2 years. I’ve had major stress and burnout affect me deeply. I took too much of my work home and never had any time to truly breakaway from work. I’ve been crushed by the corporate environments and trying to learn and grow in work environments that don’t truly have your best interest at all.

Funeral directing and embalming was my dream and now it’s just shattered. Im debating on going back to school or looking at different pathways. Ive only got my BMS from mortuary school. Is there any other ex-funeral or mortuary professionals that have shifted careers? I’m in my mid 20’s and feel as though I still have enough time to attempt to go back to school but I’m not sure for what exactly. Please help!

Hello, I am currently in mortuary school and have recently begun the embalming portion of my training. We learn about all of the occupational risks and how to mitigate them with proper PPE, but I can’t shake the unsettled feeling of wondering if I’ve come in contact with a communicable disease. I am actually freaking out in particular about CJD. How can we even be certain someone doesn’t have this when they die? Even if a hospital or family claims they don’t, can we be totally sure? I am so worried that these “what if’s” are never going to stop. Did anyone else have similar fears when they began embalming?

Just accepted a sales position at an SCI combo location in Texas.

The pay structure has me a little nervous. It’s a $7.25/hour draw (a bit higher during training), and the rest is commission.

I’m completely new to sales, so I’m treating this as a learning opportunity as much as anything. That said, I really don’t want to be bringing home less than about $2K a month.

Almost every post I’ve found here says to run, which has me second-guessing things. Is it actually realistic to make consistent sales and earn a decent living in this role?

One of my biggest concerns is committing to the long hours people describe if the pay doesn’t end up being livable. I currently make $22/hour, so this is a pretty big leap.

During my interview, they told me I should be around $49k/year if I consistently hit my targets.

For those who’ve worked in SCI pre-need sales, was that realistic? What did your first year actually look like?

Hello all! I have been considering going to Mortuary School with a dream to become a Funeral Director since I was 14. I spent my college years pursuing a Humanities degree, and now at almost 25 I am deciding to change my path to Funeral Services as I feel it is my true calling. I have applied and been accepted to the St. Petersburg College of Funeral Services!

I was hoping to get any kind of advice possible going into this to make the best out of my experience. I also had a random side question that I have been anxious about...I have a latex allergy. UGH! I know how common latex gloves are specifically in this field so I was wondering if anybody else shares this allergy and how they work around it.

Thank you all so much and I am so excited and feel so privileged to finally be doing what I feel I was born to do.

I actually thought it was a joke. I heard that funeral homes will sometimes offer you a rent free apartment either near or above the home itself given you are basically on call all the time. Is that true? Are there states that typically do this often? It just seems either completely outdated to me or like, has a big glaring catch attached to it.

As title asks! I’m currently doing my apprenticeship and will be visiting my friend in NYC next month which got me thinking what it must be like to be a mortician in NYC?

Some specific questions I have but I’d also like to know about any and all experiences or insight:

- What does it look like when you have a procession? Is it stressful? Do people make way for you?

- Are removals hard to do? I’m thinking about a scenario where someone dies while on hospice and they’re in an older apartment with no elevator and it’s cramped in the hallways. Not to mention parking the vehicle you use for removals.

Any input is appreciated !

I have a friend who passed away July 19th and his viewing/service isn't until August 7th.

How long will a body "last" after embalming before it is not safe for a viewing?

Any Philadelphia area funeral homes use removal services?

Mom died last month. Her dying process and death were in themselves traumatic. Once that part was over, I hoped and expected the funeral home we chose would take good care of her. Instead, I feel like we entrusted Mom to the wrong people, and it's eating me up. Mind you, this mortuary was bragged up by numerous family members as "the best of the best." Decide for yourselves if they were right.

1. I work as a CNA, and have seen plenty of removals. The whole bed sheet generally is used to securely move the body onto the gurney. It tends to go pretty smoothly. With Mom, the mortician grabbed on to the lift sheet under her and used that. Her head, lacking support, was banging around as she was moved from bed to stretcher. She was gone, didn't feel it, but my dad and I saw it, and it was awful.​

2. Flattened nose. Not sure how it happened, but her nose was smashed in on one side. Other than that, ​she looked beautiful at her visitation. Perhaps a sheet was left over her or something. I feel it should have been easily preventable with proper care, but what do I know...

3. The closing of the casket, which I witnessed. He didn't tuck the fabric hanging over the side of the casket (double couch) down all the way, just sort of pushed it inside, so the fabric was framing Mom's upper half of her body. As he closed the lid, the fabric started to lift up, and I panicked but next thing I knew, the lid was closed and locked down. Dad declined to purchase a vault which wasn't required, so I specifically wanted this casket (16 gauge Batesville Tiger Eye) to protect her remains from the elements as long as possible. Assuming the fabric probably got stuck in the gasket, the seal is disrupted, making our purchase of this high-end protective casket irrelevant if that is the case. This really, really bothers me, but there's not a thing I can do about it now.

We entrusted our loved one to this mortuary based on the glowing reviews of family, and to put it mildly, I feel let down. Also, and I didn't notice this myself, people said the main funeral director who picked up Mom and let her flop around, and closed the casket not properly tucking the fabric, had some serious body odor. My poor mom deserved better.

Hello, I'm a funeral director and the new office manager for my funeral home and want to explore more options for velvet urn bags. The ones we have currently the staff are unhappy with because of the thin strings. I'm trying to see where we can get nice custom urn bags with a sturdy string for closure. I'm scouring google but would love a recommendation. I appreciate anyone taking the time to respond to this!

*somehow spelled resources wrong…

I am preparing to take a practice NBE at my school this week, and the only method of study my teacher has presented was to read the textbook over and over and make my own resources from it. While I can do that, there is just so much content that I am not confident that this method of study will be the most efficient for me. Does anyone have any videos they found helpful for supplemental study? Or any other free resources? The more variety in medium the better as I want to study more than one way to really reinforce my knowledge before going into the test as I am not the best test taker.

Hi guys, I’m currently en route to becoming a funeral home director. I found the calling not too long ago and I’m really loving working part time so far.

Sometimes I notice myself making a lot of mistakes. I’m still learning, but I feel like a lot of it comes from me trying very hard to do good. I feel like I am making the funeral directors I work with angry and that I’m a burden that they have to teach me things.

I’m very intrigued in learning and try my absolute best to do everything I can but I feel as if though the mistakes I make are misrepresenting me and my work ethic. For example, I tend to be slower at things than the funeral directors (my bosses) are. It takes me a little more time to do certain tasks because I’m still getting the hang of it. I’m not extremely slow to the point where I’m setting a whole schedule behind but I feel like I’m being asked to do less and less things.

It could just be because it’s slow right now and there’s not a lot to do, but when there is an opportunity to do something I feel somewhat pushed aside. I’d at the very least like to be asked to observe if something needs to be done in a quicker manner.

The other thing is, if I do make a mistake, it’s not the same mistake over and over again. I typically learn from the one mistake I made. But there being a variety of tasks to do in this field, it feels like there are so many mistakes to be made and I don’t want to disappoint or seem like I wouldn’t be a good candidate for a coworker in the future.

Please give me advice!

I’m having a bad week so this is really just a rant but I’m feeling like I’m not cut out for this field. Not because I can’t handle the work itself, not because I’m not willing to sacrifice all of my time to this job, not because I’m lazy. I just can’t stand the other funeral directors. What is it about this industry that gives everyone a superiority complex?? I’m not here for you I’m here for the families! I’m just so over getting disrespected and treated like crap for being new to the field. I’m tired of the nepotism and watching people do way less than me and make way more money than me just because mommy and daddy have their name on the building. I can’t even afford the health insurance they offer yet they’re paying for “company cars” for all of their kids. My mental health is shot. I’m tired of grown ass adults being passive aggressive and acting like I’m supposed to predict every single thing they need and then getting the silent treatment if I get something wrong. I’m 25 years younger than you and act more mature. I’ve worked SO HARD this year, I’ve never complained, I’ve let them disrespect me, I’ve stepped up more than was expected of me and I still get treated like I’m disposable even though they have been understaffed for years because no one wants to work in this industry. I’m truly ready to finish getting licensed and find a job in another field. And that hurts so bad to say because this was my dream.

A close friend committed suicide by ingesting pills, and had a small cord wrapped around her neck. She was found 3 hours later in the back seat of her car. At the visitation, she had a huge bruise (I think a bruise, couldn’t tell bc of makeup) on her forehead, you could tell the funeral home attempted to cover it but it was the first thing I noticed. No bruising was on her face prior to death.

Has anyone ever heard of this happening, is it normal?

I'm heavily tattooed and in the tattoo industry and I love having the opportunity to look at people's tattoos. I was thinking, I wonder if after I die, will the person working with my body be interested in my tattoos? I feel like I'd spend so much time looking a person over if they were heavily tattooed, you can learn so much about a person by the tattoos they have.

If the answer is yes, what are some of the more interesting tattoos you've noticed on a body in your care?

Hi, all. I've never really posted in here before but I guess I just wanted to post because I need advice. Its currently almost 11pm and im laying in bed crying over the fact that I want to be a funeral director so badly but with no direction. Ive wanted to be a funeral director since I was 12 years old. It's been my passion and everyone that knows me knows how much Ive talked about it throughout my life. (I'm currently 27). Everyone has said it's my calling and I know deep down it is.

A bit of backstory, I was hired at my local funeral home as a funeral services assistant. I obtained my trainee license to embalm and was able to experience and help out with an embalming. Everytime I was at the funeral home and I met with the families and they spoke to felt like something I can't even explain. I've never been happier helping families and being In the prep room.

Fast forward a bit, I get accepted at the Pittsburgh Institute of Mortuary Science. (I live in Pennsylvania). I do the online program and Its accelerated. The first semester was a bit challenging but I made through and did very well. The second semester, I struggled and ended up dropping out because of the pace of the program. I was working a full time job and I was part-time at the funeral home whilst being a full-time student. Due to the pace of the program and how much I needed to focus on my school work/studying/lab hours/ work at the funeral home, I concluded that accelerated was not an efficient way for me to learn and I could not work a full-time job and do school at the same time. The issue is, I am not financially able to focus on school and not work a full time job. So, I made the extremely hard decision to step away. I haven't been back in almost a year now. I left with $3,500 in debt and forced myself into a different career as a Pharmacy Technician. While I do like my job as a pharmacy tech, I know it's not where my heart is and I grieve every moment I am not at the funeral home. My local funeral home ended up letting me go because their business was not doing well and they could not afford to pay their funeral assistants. I've been devastated since and I don't know what to do but it hurts so badly. I'd like to go to school at the community college in Eastern PA, but I live almost 4 hours away from it. I feel like I was so close and then everything was taken away from me and now I'm even further away from my future career and it hurts. I looked into school at the Cincinnati College of Mortuary Science but tuition was double as it's a private school and I am leary about their program and the way it works. I am at a complete loss and I don't know what to do.

If anyone has ANY type of recommendations or advice as a funeral director regarding schooling and what my next steps could be, it would absolutely, be immensely appreciated. I don't know what to do anymore and it truly kills me everyday. Thank you for taking the time to read if you did and thank you for all that you do to help families and their loved ones.. 💜

What colour lining do you use or offer in a black gloss/ matte casket

I just accepted an administrative job at a funeral home. I'm really, really excited, but I do know (or think I know) that it's a rather... conservative field. In my daily life, I tend to be what you might call a butch woman, though I am used to "femmeing it up" in work environments. I did this for my interview.

I am wondering, generally, how acceptable gender nonconformity & visible queerness are in the funeral industry. Would dressing more masculinely (as a woman) okay as long as it's otherwise professional, or would this be potentially unprofessional regardless, or even disrespectful to families I may come into contact with? (I'm talking - very short, "manly" hairstyle with shaved areas, no makeup, etc. I figure button-ups and slacks are fine and pretty much neutral.) The employee handbook doesn't specify gender-specific guidelines for professional dress, but I want to be careful. If it matters, we are also in the Bible belt - deep South, very Christian area.

I hope this question makes sense! This is my first job ever in an even remotely office-like environment - I've never had to navigate this specifically before, so I know I might also be overthinking it.

Hi All,

I asked about pre-planning/pre-paying for my parents a couple weeks ago, and y'all convinced me to advise them to pre-plan. I am handling the arrangements for them, currently waiting for a call back from the funeral home they chose.

My question:

They would like their ashes to be co-mingled when they both go. They will be able to be buried in a national cemetery when they pass, because my father is an honorably-discharged vet.
Is the best way of handling this to cremate whoever dies first, then hold on to their ashes until parent #2 passes, and then bring those remains to the funeral home to be comingled? OR, is it better to cremate and then bury whoever passes first, then have the remains removed from the plot when parent #2 passes and take care of it at that point?

Also, in terms of the container; should I ask for a larger box now, or just have a temporary box now, and a more permanent one later?

Thank you all for your help!