Sorry this is long i just. Needed to write his story out somewhere.
I lost my soulcat a little over two weeks ago to, what can only be guessed was his Gastrointestinal Lymphoma. He was a gorgeous tuxedo Norwegian Forest Cat named Oreo (not my choice my parents demanded to name him as a kitten), 14 years old and in otherwise incredible condition. I raised him from a kitten directly from the breeder.
He got diagnosed in November of 2024 after a million tests. His ultrasounds were inconclusive, his biopsies were inconclusive, they ended up needing to do some fancy test where they looked at the cells and counted the clones in order to diagnose him with cancer. He lost half his body weight rapidly and couldnt keep food down. But as soon as we started treatment, he improved!
He was on the classic steroid + chemo duo. And even though he was doing amazing we knew our time was limited, they gave us a best case scenario of 2 years.
What we didnt expect was to come home one day about two months ago, and he couldnt walk in his hind. Rushed him to the vet and they said it was likely a spinal stroke, but an MRI and a spinal tap could be done to rule out any new cancers or degenerative diseases. MRI was inconclusive, spinal tap came back clear, but the vets still leaned toward the spinal stroke.
And then two days later he had a seizure out of no where. It was the first one I had ever witnessed and how terrifying it was to see. Rush him to the vet, they are afraid this + the lameness in his legs means he might have a brain tumor. Another MRI, and the results are completely clear, no tumors no degeneration anywhere.
But we notice a pattern, certain sounds seem to set off these mini seizures that likely lead into the full blown one, so he likely had FARS, an audio related seizure syndrome. Theres not much they can do but we just avoid certain sounds and if it gets bad we can consider adding an antiseizure med.
Prior to the seizure he was still quite the happy cat! Purring, playing, cuddling, loving treats. After it. . . He just seemed depressed almost. Still purring, still playing, but not nearly as much.
Then he just stopped eating. Stopped enjoying treats. Started losing weight like crazy again, we thought maybe the cancer progressed but every test, every ultrasound came back looking great actually! Better than ever! They tested him for some pancreas deficiency, that came back clear, they checked everything. Everything came back perfect!
He was the healthiest unhealthy cat somehow.
Then he started hiding. Stopped purring. Wouldnt eat. We tried everything, appetite stimulants, anti nausea, upping medicines and doses.
Then they thought maybe the chemo he was on wasnt working anymore and that maybe the neuro symptoms were being caused by the long term use of it, since we were coming up on almost 2 years of being on it. So we planned on switching chemos and seeing if he improved. But me and the vets both had an understanding that quality of life was declining but we both wanted to give him a shot, see if we could find the answer, and then hopefully get him back on his feet since every test was so crystal clear.
We woke up a few days later, and his lips and nose and ears were yellow. His liver was failing. Likely due to not eating but there was no way to tell without running a million more tests, and putting him in the hospital on a feeding tube.
Oreo always loved the vets, the little weirdo he was, kneading and purring and rolling around on the vets tables. I wasnt worried about his stress levels being hospitalized, but i was deeeeeply worried about his quality of life, i was worried he would pass on his own, alone at the vets.
And so we made the call to euthanize. I regret not coming into the emergency vets saying so, that his liver was failing and we might need to euthanize. Maybe they would have taken us sooner but the poor boy had to wait 4 hours to even be seen. His last day was 4 hours in a carrier in a loud animal hospital. . .
And i just. God. I wish we had answers. I know logically we did everything we could. Every test, every medication. We went to highly qualified specialists. I put myself in so much debt for him and I dont regret that. I just wish I had one solid answer. Even if that answer was just His Cancer took him out. But even that didnt seem like the cause exactly. Maybe it was just a bunch of little things, little symptoms. Maybe the seizure fucked something up we couldn't see and he just. . . Was tired.
He mustve been fighting a bigger battle than me of the vets even thought cause they said he didnt even make it through all the sedation before the final euthanasia drug.
I wish i had answers, but maybe his case will help another cat down the line. And i miss him more than any words could capture. The crying has calmed down after the 2 weeks but its left me with this physical pain in my chest. And i keep reliving those last few months over and over, that last day. Wondering if anything could have been different. If one more test could have figured it out and he'd still be here. I know logically thats just grief talking. But my heart hurts nonetheless.
Im putting this out here to just. See if anyone can relate to it. To not having answers or to his weird medical case. And if you've managed to overcome that overwhelming desire for closure, for answers. Or if it always lingers alongside the grief.