I just want people to know he existed. That I knew him. He was really cool and had his own demons, but he loved me and I loved him.
I’m still really not okay, and nobody else seems to really understand.

His killers got separate sentences, one was 28 years, the other was 10 years. Doesn’t seem like much.

Idk, I miss him and I’m tired of this person I am now I guess. Such a big piece of myself was taken when he died. I had to do court alone and request time etc and it was a whole mess. Now that it’s over I’m scared everyone will forget him and I’m scared I’ll never heal

His name was Mike.

I lost all 7 of my animals in a house fire almost three months ago, I have lost my reason of getting up everyday, my reason to keep thriving. They were my life, you couldn’t talk to me without hearing about them, the night before the fire I was at my friends house and meet one of her other friends and I spent hours talking about them I just missed being gone from them for a day, I regret not being home that night leaving my partner alone to try to save himself and them. I know he tried so hard to get them I just wish I could have saved my babies, everyday without them gets worse I just miss the days they would lay in bed with me all cuddled up, I miss hearing them meowing for food every morning, I miss them making biscuits on me even if it hurt so bad. I miss my dog never wanting to leave my side even if I wanted space.

I wouldn’t wish this pain on anyone, especially when my animals were just like my kids.

Rest in peace; koyl, oogie, Cinderella, squeak, toad, whiskey, and Venus.

Our 27 y/o son died June 1. We just got the tox report. Cocaine and alcohol. He was a gifted attorney with an amazing girlfriend, parents who loved, encouraged and supported him with his whole life ahead of him. Why would he throw away EVERYTHING he worked so hard for this way. I’m just numb. Where did we go wrong? We taught him better than this and now I feel like we were being snowed by him. His gf is the sweetest person in the world and was always on him about eating healthy and taking care of himself! She would be devastated to know the truth. They were doing a long distance relationship, seeing each other every 2 weeks and she was moving to be closer to him next month. I never suspected this in a million years. I feel like not only did my son died but the image of the man I thought I knew and loved did as well. I swear this hurts more than the initial phone call…

My mom died Monday of complications of FTD.

Damn.

This all sucks

I want my mom back

Yesterday, my sister was found by her roommate dead in their room. She hanged herself using a bedsheet. My mother called me for the first time in two years to break the news. I didn't believe her. I thought she just wanted to have access to me until our youngest came to the phone. He was the closest to where she lived. When they talked to her friends, they said she hadn't seen her on campus since the semester started almost two weeks ago. It took 3 days of constant messaging before she responded to them. She told them that she was "alive and well" and that she was going home for a while. I don't know how to feel anything. I tried to call her phone. I still have the instinct to call and scold her. To tell her she's dumb or so selfish. That I didn't waste almost four years of putting her through school for nothing while working in another country. She was smarter than that. I don't know why she would do that. I'm so mad. I was coming home. Why couldn't she wait? We could have talked.

I lost my boyfriend a month and two weeks ago. It feels like I’m living in hell. Some days aren’t quite as bad, but then there are bad days, and there are absolutely horrible days.
I’m seeing a psychologist, attending a grief support group, and I’ve started swimming. I’ve gone out with friends a couple of times, and I’ve also started learning crochet. I’m really trying to do the things people recommend.
But sometimes the pain becomes completely overwhelming. My mind won’t stop bringing back memories that hurt so much. There are moments when I can’t stop crying and I just want to scream. I feel angry, heartbroken, and disappointed with life.
Sometimes I can’t see a future anymore, and I find it impossible to feel hopeful. When I’m at my worst, I feel like I can’t breathe, I get nauseous, and my heart rate goes over 100 beats per minute.
I don’t know when psychiatric help becomes necessary. I don’t know if I need it, and I don’t know if it would actually help. I’ve seen so many different opinions about psychiatric medication that I honestly don’t know what to think.

I was holding his hand when he took his last breaths. Counted the seconds between his last gasps for air as the pause between them became longer. Watched my mom fall apart as the love of her life died in front of her.

I laid on his chest and felt him, his muscle, his ribs, his collar bone, his face. Stared at the blackheads on his nose, the crust around his eyes. Ran my hands through his hair, across his forehead. Felt his prominent nose with my fingers. I can feel the skin and bone still.

Laying my head on his chest and hearing no heartbeat, hearing no more breaths. Hugging and shaking him. Kissing his face, his hands, his wedding band.

Leaving his body in the hospital room. Covering his face with the sheet and uncovering it twice because I couldn’t leave him there. Leaving him at the hospital. Imagining his body, where it is now, in a morgue, waiting to be incinerated. His body burning and becoming ashes. Stupid fucking little ashes. All that life, love, everything reduced to ashes. Fucking bullshit

He was 78 years old, and it was very fast. Stage 4 esophageal cancer. I got engaged the same week he was diagnosed 3 weeks ago.

My mom is 68 and I am 27f. She is a widow. His things are in every corner of the house, every drawer, his favorite ratty hoodies lying around. His shaving cream on the bathroom counter.

Indescribable pain. The worst day of my life.

I lost my mom after a long battle with her illness at the end of April. I still cannot function like a normal person and it’s impacting my job and relationships. Is this just going to be my life now? When do you get better? I know no one can give me a specific timeline but if anyone can tell me when they started to feel like they were healing that would be appreciated

Visiting my mom for the final time this week. She wants assisted death before the cancer gets too bad. I’m not sure I can go in with her alone or at all. She doesn’t really want me there but I don’t know if that her trying to protect me or not. Will I regret not going? Can I let this be my last goodbye? Good I accept just a phone call in a couple days or as she says not even that. I don’t know what to say or do. I’m just glad I’m heat with her when she decides or whatever the next week brings. Fuck cancer

I lost my partner of 7 years 20 days ago. We had been broken up for exactly 365days…no one has told me the cause of death. They found him unresponsive in his car. People who were close to him or us during our relationship haven’t reached out because i don’t think they understand my grief. I loved this man, he was my first date at 14. We reconnect after college. Spent 7 years as close as you can get. He began to drink and didn’t seem to want to make plans for our future and the drinking all night/verbal abuse got really bad. I had to leave because we weren’t good for each other anymore. I loved him. I feel alone. I feel angry. I feel empty. I’ve tried to look for a grief group. I feel I have to hide my pain at home because others don’t understand it and want me to put it in my past. I cry at work when everyone leaves because I don’t know where to let it out. I made a therapy appointment for next week. It’s hard when everything I do has a memory attached. Does anyone have any advice?

As the title says when does it stop feeling like a bad dream? My mom passed away on July 4th and I am still in such a shock and denial. Despite the fact that I did all of her paperwork and the arrangements for her body to come back to our home country and I am still in so much denial. I barely cry during the day but during the night I start spiralling. I disassociate and I start wondering if all of this is a bad dream, I refuse to accept that this is now my reality. In my 23 years of life I never envisioned a life without my mom. I cannot believe that MY mom is gone. MY mother. My one and only mom. She’s gone? Like that? I won’t hear her voice again or see her? I’m at loss. I seem fine on the outside, I try to take care of myself, I do my makeup when going out etc. But on the inside all I can think about is my mom and I am a complete mess. The moment I found out she passed away keeps replaying in my head. Her funeral is tomorrow and I have never been more scared.

Everything feels like a terrible dream that keeps repeating every day. I keep going in cycles. I don’t know what to do. I feel so desperate and helpless I just need my mommy back. I’m afraid things will never get better and I’ll forever be stuck in this state. I see people who I know whose mom passed away and they seem to be living normal lives (on the outside), they go on vacations, they’re in love etc..they do normal people things. I’m scared I’ll never achieve this and my grief will consume me. I can’t even imagine continuing my life without my mom I don’t know what to do. I am 23 but I feel like a lost helpless child. My mom was always the person I depended on the most. I don’t know what to do.

I am 20 years old and my dad passed away yesterday morning. I was woken up by his cries and my mom called 911. The ambulance took him to the hospital and I'm afraid they didn't treat him in time. He had an aortic dissection and it hurts me so terribly to know that he died in pain. My mom said that they were both talking in his hospital room, and all of a sudden my dad started convulsing, followed by my moms screams. I rushed me and my older brother to go see him and that's when she told me the horrible news. I saw his cold dead body. He was once a warm man and now he was in his bed, pale and cold. I only stroked his soft hair. My extended family were on their way to see them, but I felt so sick that I had to get out of there immediately. I spent most of the day grieving with my friends as I couldn't bare to be home, the carpets and some items messed up on the floor from him struggling to survive. My mom slept in my bed with me. I don't know what to do. I am about to start university next month i don't know what to do without him. I want to care so deeply for my mom but it's hard to even feed myself. How long does grief even last.

I know this might sound silly to some people, but today was actually a really important day for me. I went out hunting for Needohs at Target, and it was a bigger deal than just finding a squishy toy.

After my dad passed away unexpectedly, I developed severe anxiety and agoraphobia. Things that used to feel normal — like leaving the house, going into stores, or being out by myself — became really hard. I’ve been working on taking small steps, even when my anxiety tells me not to.

Today I pushed myself to go to Target. I walked in, looked around, searched for the Needohs I’ve been wanting, and I did it even though I was anxious. I actually found one I was hoping for (the cloud pleaser ☁️ ), but the biggest win was proving to myself that I could go.

My dad always believed in me, and I think he would’ve been proud that I’m still trying and still finding little moments of happiness.

So here’s to the little victories — and to Needoh hunting being a form of exposure therapy I never expected 😂💗

My dad had a stroke on May 3rd that left him unable to speak/communicate (with aphasia, apraxia), paralyzed on his right side, unable to swallow, and incontinent. He didn’t have a living will or advanced directive so my adult brother and I had to make the decision to not place a permanent feeding tube and transition him to comfort care once the doctors determined he wasn’t improving and likely wouldn’t improve much. He died 5 weeks after the stroke because he couldn’t swallow and therefore couldn’t eat/drink.
If we had decided to place the permanent feeding tube, drs said he might regain some movement but no speech or ability to drink/eat normally. He would have also still had aphasia and apraxia and be basically bedridden relying on help for every aspect of his life. My brother and I knew my dad wouldn’t have wanted to live that way.
I can’t stop thinking “I killed my dad” and “maybe he would have wanted to live even if it was extremely limited” and “if I had placed the feeding tube, my dad would still be with me today”.

I lost my dad the day he had the stroke. He didn’t understand what I was saying to him and he couldn’t communicate even “yes” or “no” to us. I watched him struggle every day of those 5 weeks and I KNOW he wouldn’t have wanted to keep living like that but I killed him! It wasn’t like he was on a ventilator or “life support” (even though a feeding tube is I guess considered life support). It feels like I intentionally withheld food from him until he starved and died, confused why his daughter was killing him.

Everyone says we did the right thing and that they would have wanted it that way if it were them but the burden feels like too much now that he’s actually dead.
Everyone I talk to who has lost a parent or taken someone off of life support has a similar story, “they died of cancer it was inevitable”, “they were brain dead”, “there was nothing more we could have done”. But no one seems to have done what I did.

I need to talk to someone who had to do what I had to do. When I close my eyes I see him in the hospital bed, suffering. How did you get through this? How do you get through killing your parent?

Hi guys. I’m 18f and my dad has been in cognitive decline since I was around 9. Does it ever get easier to cope with? Like I think I handle grief pretty well until I don’t. I just want to go kick a ball around in the backyard with him but I can’t. I want him to take me on a roadtrip. I want to do 80’s rock trivia with him and not see him feel bad when he just can’t remember. I don’t know how I will survive when he’s actually gone. I’ve been grieving what feels like my whole life. Does it ever get easier? I just want the dad my siblings were able to grow up with. I just want to be daddy’s little girl again :(

Without getting into details, I suffer from endometriosis, a myriad of mental health conditions, and a long list of old injuries including but not limited to a broken back. After having been medically discharged from the military, I’m faced with proving how disabled I am every year to be on a government check. It’s not something I’m interested in pursuing.

That being said, I still want my better half to keep on living and he is not understanding why I want to apply for medical assistance in death.

I’m in pain, I’m tired of the medications and the med trials that make me feel sick in so many ways. After watching the world kind of fall apart during COVID (I was a registered nurse), I really don’t want to keep going.

What can I do to support my loved ones in this transition?

I don't have anyone I can really share my pain with rn but I still can't accept many things.

My dad committed suicide 4 years ago, I was 14 then and needed him so many times so far and still need him now. Honestly he wasn't much of a father, he was an alcoholic in my early childhood, the aggressive kind and wasn't present much because of his depression even when he recovered from alcohol, but when he was and when he mutter up the strength and courage he was honestly good dad. I was angry at him most of my life but I let it go at one point and stopped being so angry, shortly after there was no one I could even be angry at. My mom wasn't present either so I'm kinda pushing this alone.

Last month two of my friends died in the same week, one of a heart attack at 21, we weren't that close but it still struck me.

The other one, a good childhood friend, influenced me in a lot of ways, was a good guy, a problematic kid for sure but he had a big pure heart. Murdered, aged 19

When that happened my girlfriend was extremely cruel and said some things I'm still mad at and can't get over, of course she realized what she did was wrong but I just felt and still feel so alone

My brother passed away a year ago from an overdose. He was in his early 20s, but had struggled with addiction for many years.

Growing up we were very close, but at the time of his death, we had a very, very strained relationship. He had tried to be present in my life, but I did not want a relationship until he was sober. I still loved him, but knew he was actively using even when everyone else believed he was not. I said hurtful things I regret. And then he overdosed and died.

I have a hard time living with all the shame and regret that comes with him dying. I really thought if I pushed him hard enough, he would see that he could get better and would change. My immediate and extended family has put blame on me through the past year for not being kinder to him. I blame myself too.

I have such complicated feelings with knowing I was right that he was not sober and it was fair for me to have put up boundaries, but also what if the hurtful things I said caused him to seek drugs and overdose and die?

I have been in therapy over this for the past year, but I would also like to hear any words of wisdom or similar stories, or even comfort. I miss him very much and can’t imagine feeling this way for the rest of my life.

I lost my best friend 5 years ago from fentanyl overdose. She was the type of person i talked to every single day, helped her when she was in rehab and a constant reassurance for her. She was genuinely one of the brightest, silliest, and coolest person i ever met.

since she was 19 years old when she passed a lot of people who we went to highschool with also mourned her through posting images on social media or sending well wishes, which i understand but felt one individual took it to far.

this person made a song about her and referred to the party culture she was in regarding her smoking coke in the bathroom to being high in chemistry class and discussed her family dynamics. this individual knew her for a very brief portion of her life and was not there when addiction was crippling. the entire song just glamorized drug use and used her voice in it as well.

i saw the song through someone sharing it with me then talked to a family member who then asked for the individual to take it down, which i appreciate. but is it okay for me to be so fucking angry about it? like my blood boils, she was so much more than an addiction, she was a sunny soul who i really wished people talked about that more than what happened at the end.

does anyone relate to this? i feel low key crazy and feel so frustrated when people talk about her experiences but wasn’t there to witness it or talk so publicly about being friends with 5 years after passing but not really being apart of her life. ugh i just feel like a shit person about it

Hi, so it's been 3 months and I think I am going crazy.

I lost him so sudden, after 44 years of him there, he is gone. No more advice, no more criticism.

The second I hear his voice I cry a river, then I get angry at him for not looking after self.

Listen to him music hoping I feel something other than sadness and hate. But it's like all I have.

I called him every 2 days. always asking him how he was. Telling him about my day.

A month before he passed he told me how I was the only one who called. It broke me since I was one of 5 of his kids..

I then invited him to to woodworking and do some fishing over the summer.

And he was keen.

I think now of him dying alone no one around him scared. Laying there on that cold concrete, hit heart getting slower and nothing.

I think about that last week was there any signs and I can't think of a single one.

And then there the worst part that it took 45 minutes to get an ambulance to him he should have been hightest priority.

For 3 months each day feels heavy and fragile like I can break at any time.

I feel like I just need to rant to get this out. Music don't help and writting letters to him don't as well.

My dad had been battling a rare autoimmune disease called scleroderma for the past eight years. I still remember the day we first searched it on Google. It said the life expectancy was around 8–10 years, and I remember crying hysterically. I couldn’t imagine losing him.
Over the years, the strongest person I knew slowly became frail and weak.
For the last four years, he lived with my mom while my brother and I had moved away for college, but he kept traveling for treatment. My parents had their share of fights, but despite that, I was always incredibly close to my dad.
In November 2025, just two months before he passed, he was admitted to the ICU. That was the first time I truly felt like I was going to lose him. Somehow, he recovered. I remember sleeping beside him in the hospital, watching him joke with the nurses and listen to old Bollywood songs on TV. He was eventually discharged, but something had changed.
He had already been hospitalized before, including for a pacemaker, but after this admission he became noticeably weaker. He lost a lot of weight, and I did everything I could to care for him. I helped bathe him, changed his clothes, combed his hair—anything that would make things easier for him.
On the night he passed away, I had secretly ordered a birthday cake that was supposed to arrive the next morning.
A few moments before everything happened, he called my name. I ignored him because I thought he just needed help with some work and I pretended to be asleep in the other room. That decision still haunts me.
Then I suddenly heard him coughing. I ran to him, and things quickly became worse. He wanted to go to the bathroom but couldn’t get up, so I called my mom. He ended up passing stool on my bed and immediately became embarrassed. Even in that moment, he covered himself with a small towel because he didn’t want me to see him like that. I pretended not to notice to protect his dignity.
A few moments later, he lay down on my bed. The ambulance arrived, but there was nothing they could do. He passed away on my bed.
For the first few hours, I didn’t even cry. I was completely numb. It didn’t feel real.
At that time, I didn’t have a job, and my mom is a freelancer. I was also in my final year of college while placements were going on.
Just 10 days later, on February 11, I celebrated my first birthday without him. The very next day, I attended an interview that I somehow managed to clear, and I started my internship on February 23.
For February, March, and April, I barely cried. I thought maybe I was handling it well.
But now everything has hit me.
I miss him every single day. Every night I cry. I feel depressed, anxious, and like I’m getting worse instead of better. I’ve also started distancing myself from my mom, and I don’t even know why. I just want my dad back.
On top of that, I’m dealing with financial stress. My internship is ending soon, I haven’t been offered a full-time role, and I’m terrified about my future. I constantly feel like I’ve failed him

My dad keeps telling me he wants to die.

The months after mom's death have been difficult, and I've been really depressed. I've been to therapy and I've done my best to learn to live in some way, even though my heart is in pieces. I've also been looking after my dad. I wash his laundry, arrange all domestic things for him, make sure he eats...

My dad has Asperger's and he's blind, so that gives it all a new layer. Mom was the love of his life, and he has trouble socializing without her. In June, he contacted a group of people he knows from church and suggested they'd meet at his place some time in July. These friends agreed to come over, but now they've all canceled. Dad was so sad today and said he's really disappointed. He had made all kinds of plans and had tried to make his home nice for them etc.

He doesn't really have real friends because mom was the heart of his social life. All their friends were actually her friends. Now light has gone out of his life entirely.

He's told me several times that he wants to die, that this life has nothing more to give him, and that he doesn't have anything more to give to this life.

I always listen and try to comfort him, even though I feel basically the same way. I've suggested a grief group, but he snapped at me and said he doesn't need help. I call him every day and go meet him several times a week, so he won't be so alone. But I'm barely above the surface myself.

I do have one brother, but he can be pretty toxic. When my dad last visited their family, my brother had been abusive to my niece (dad said my brother made her cry every day). Dad got really mad about it and yelled at my brother. After that we haven't heard from my brother, and I know my dad misses his granddaughter and is so sorry about all that went on. This has happened before and that time I got involved and had them talk to each other again. But this time I'm not on speaking terms with my brother either, so I can't help them. I wish they could make up, for the sake of my niece who likely also misses her grandpa.

I feel like everything went to ashes when mom passed away. I can't save my dad if he doesn't want to be saved, but it hurts to see him like this, to hear that he wants to die. It's its own kind of torture, on top of everything.

This is an awful thing to say and I know it, but I feel like I would be in a better place mentally, if I could focus on my own grief&life and wasn't so involved in my dad's life. But if I'm not there for him, then he has no one. My heart can't take that. I love him so much.

These are the kind of things I would have discussed with mom. She would have known what to do.