Please don't scroll past. If you've been where I am and found your way out, your story could give me—and others reading this—real hope.

How did you recover from chronic fight-or-flight or freeze? What helped the most, and how long did it take?

Even a few sentences could make a huge difference. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. 🙏

That’s it, that’s the post

Trauma makes you some sort of second caste of human I swear, you can’t access help and you get bullied for it

I shared my experience about how my parents and siblings would literally beat me up for fun, laugh at me when I was hurting and suffering, triangulate with my brother and turn my whole family against me, and bully me until I became suicidal..and I got downvoted because apparently “abuse is almost always unintentional.” I admit, I shouldn’t have shared my own experience on another’s thread. I was responding to a blanket statement though, because we really can’t make blanket statements about how almost every abuser is unintentional about it, because this is simply not true.

This is so harmful for those of us whose abusers are seriously malicious and cruel people. To say it wasn’t intentional is triggering and I won’t be gaslit into believing otherwise. The only motive my family had to hurt me is the simple fact that I exist. They know/knew what they are/were doing. It was always intentional.

I’m glad there are people out there who have never had to experience such a horrific type of abuse, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Our first instinct should be to protect survivors, not silence them because we can’t wrap our heads around it.

Defending abusers and ganging up against survivors is never the answer.

TW: Neglect, emotional incest.

My mom went through a really traumatic event when I was a toddler, and she neglected me for a long time. She would lock herself in her bedroom, and I just had to kinda fend for myself. I used to wander around a lot in the neighbourhood and hang out with my neighbours.

But then her behaviour sort of shifted, and she intensely fixated on me. My therapist says she parentified me, but I think it was more intense than that.

She would discuss her sex life with me, her finances with me, I slept with her in her bed for years. She would tell me that I'm the only reason she's still alive, that I'm the best person in her life. She has an unhealthy connection to me.

Luckily I moved out four years ago for college, but I still talked to her every day. She would constantly talk about how miserable she is without me, how she would welcome me back into her house at any moment, or how she wants to move to where I live to be closer to me. I told her not to do that because I move to a different place every year due to work and my partner.

She tells me she loves me, and I feel guilty for thinking she's abusive (therapist and my partner say she is). Could she be abusive without knowing it? Whenever I bring up that she's abusive, she says she isn't and things aren't as bad as I remember it.

So recently my therapist told me that I would continue to have difficulty making friends and meaningful relationships, if I talk about my life experiences.
I’m not sure how to feel about that.

I’ve never set out to tell people about my issues or experiences. But in conversation when people ask questions, what are you supposed to do, lie? Or tell them that you don’t like to talk about anything.

I get it though. Most people don’t know how to sit with or give agency and space for someone with trauma. So does this mean I can only be friends with other people with PTSD and Traumatic Stress?

is this a huge trigger for anyone else? I live in a densely populated city, and my house is on the corner of a busy street. not only do I get postal service workers etc knocking on my door, but SO many solicitors too. there’s one group in particular that goes door-to-door every couple of weeks and they will return to the same door 3-4 times per day, standing there knocking every minute for like 5 minutes each time.

I don’t think it’s a trigger that comes from any particular traumatic experience. it’s more of a feeling that my peace and privacy are being threatened. like I feel so exposed, I never answer the door and instead just sit silently in fear, holding my breath. then I’m on high alert for at least an hour afterwards, expecting them to kick my door down or something.

is this a common experience for y’all? I feel ridiculous because it’s probably just a girl scout or something, but a simple knock on my door will easily ruin my entire day 🫠

I have these weird reflexes where I immediately cry, flinch, or advert my gaze away whenever I see items like baby bottles or pacifiers. I react negatively to it, most of the time I burst into tears. I don't understand what caused these reactions in the first place. ​​​​

A few days ago I went out with my girlfriend, stopping by an aisle looking at some beverages, she ​​showed me a Korean yoghurt drink in the shape of a baby bottle and I immediately broke into tears. It was devastating.

I experienced these reactions for a while now, if I remember correctly I begin feeling really uneasy and disturbed by baby items ​​​​​at a very young age. And if you're wondering, no, I love children, I'm not afraid of children.

I am the partner of someone with cPTSD and I’m just wanting to understand them better however they aren’t very open about it. I understand everyone is different but I’d appreciate ANY insight that isn’t just google stuff. TIA

Normally I smoke zaza b4 bed and that totally empties out my brain.. (You dont really dream much when u smoke.) However Im noticing that it doesn’t work anymore !! Eeek! Does anyone have any tips ? I dont like melatonin cos It makes me moody.. I just want to dream about something nice for once!

That's it. That's all I needed, that simple little effort would have saved me so much suffering but no. For most my life hugs have been a rarity, a fantasy. No matter how bad things have gotten, no matter how close I was to skewering myself nobody hugged me. They'd cry, send me to the hospital, get me therapy, put me on illegal medicines but never just put their arms around me and squeeze. Years, I've lived like this for years and I just want it to stop. There's so much wrong with my life that could have been fixed with just a small bit of touch.
why did my parents even have a child if they couldn't be bothered to just hug them?

I'm really struggling with this and could use some help. I've just started therapy and plan to ask my therapist for ideas but I don't see them until next week and the need is pretty immediate.

(I hope it's ok to ask this and I'm not triggering anyone. I didn't specify the type of trauma to avoid that but if this isn't allowed please let me know. Thanks in advance.)

CONTEXT

My husband knows my diagnosis/what caused it and is very supportive. That being said he struggles at times to understand my behavior, especially around hypervigilance and feeling safe. And I'm having trouble explaining it to him.

Without going into detail the flashbacks I'm experiencing mean I don't feel safe anywhere, including all the places that used to be my go to's (like specific spaces in our home).

WHAT I'M STRUGGLING TO EXPLAIN

* The events occurred a long time ago in a different place, so it's difficult to explain how that means feeling unsafe where we live now (e.g. feeling unsafe in a room in our home vs the room where the events actually happened).

* Why I felt safe somewhere a month ago (like a mall or coffee shop) but today just walking into the space can trigger an anxiety attack.

* Why the reaction isn't consistent - so why some days I can handle being in a space and others I can't.

* Why going outside is an issue when the person who hurt me is hours away and physically incapable of hurting me anymore.

Maybe I'm just nuts and no one else has these reactions to things that happened years ago but I'm really hoping someone else knows what I'm talking about because I have no idea how to explain this. Any ideas are appreciated.

I feel more alone when I’m in a room full of people than when I’m by myself. I also find people draining.

Does anyone else here have a 10/10 ACE score? An ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) score is a tally of traumatic events experienced before age 18, ranging from 0 to 10. And I check off all of them. 😔

Every time I drag my half dead body to safety it starts breaking down like a shitty car

I honestly don’t know what to do anymore and I’m wondering if anyone here can relate.
I’m extremely sensitive to impact noise (footsteps, stomping, vibrations through the floor). A few weeks ago, I made a very stressful and expensive move because the impact noise in my old apartment had become unbearable. It pushed me into constant anxiety and I couldn’t relax at all.
I specifically moved into a top-floor apartment because I thought that would finally solve the problem. Overall, it is quieter than my old place, but I still hear impact noise from a neighboring apartment, especially in the evenings. It’s not as loud or as frequent as before, but it still completely overwhelms me. Every footstep immediately puts me on edge.
The worst part is that I can’t just move again. Financially and emotionally, it’s simply not an option. So I’m sitting here wondering: if even a top-floor apartment isn’t enough, what am I supposed to do for the rest of my life?
Has anyone else here experienced this level of sensitivity to impact noise? Have you found anything that actually helps, whether it’s therapy, accommodations, soundproofing, or simply learning to cope with it? Right now, it feels like I’ll never be able to live peacefully anywhere, and that thought is really frightening.

I don't know how much longer i can hold on to this life

I keep thinking everyone would be happier without me here

You know when too many terrible things happen, and your body isn't well, nor is your mental health that you think...

Wouldn't it be better if I just wasn't here? But God said I am meant to be here.

I'm not going to commit suicide. But if I die I die.

I've suffered in so many ways it's unbelievable i'm still standing

I have no one i can talk to truly about this but God, and i fear i've let Him down too

I'm not good. My body is slowly but surely getting worse. I don't want to suffer more.

I was in an episode of this for about a year to a year and half recently. It was such a struggle to find any sort of support as it seems this isnt well talked about and mental health processionals seem to be quite inept to deal with it. I had a therapy session recently and was trying to adress it but to no avail. My therapist asked me if I felt like I had control over my life. I told her, "*no how could I?*" With this symptom occurring yearly and very few ways to cope with its aftermath or to stop it from happening.

Has anyone here found ways to cope with this or strategies to reduce the high level of fear of it happening again?

Intrusive thoughts are the bane of my existence. How do you deal with them?

I usually imagine crumbling them up in brown paper and throwing it away, but something happened and I can’t control it.

A few months ago my ex boyfriend died. We had a very toxic relationship and he was extremely abusive, physically and mentally.

I still stay in touch with his mom and she described in detail how he died. It was absolutely horrible. Now, I can’t get these images of him out of my head.

He knew he was going to die and kept telling his mom he didn’t want to die alone, and then he did.

Even though he was extremely abusive I still hold love for him in my heart. He also had c-ptsd, along with other diagnoses, and I could understand where his anger was coming from which is one of the reasons I stayed for so long.

I can’t stop imagining him dying this horrible death all alone. It’s eating away at me and my typical “brown paper” method isn’t working. It’s causing me some serious distress.

What are some things that have helped you?

Can't sleep and I'm having strange thoughts lol

They could be deep, major, minor, quirky, silly, mundane, oddly specific, etc changes to your life or yourself as a person

Does anybody else feel like they were nerfed from the get go? I feel like I’ve reached a point where it’s pretty much impossible for me to progress or move forward. It’s a miracle I’ve even managed to make it this far and yet here I am oozing with greed..

I'm only thinking about safety and surviving one day after the other. I never relax and my thoughts only gravitate around my past and trauma. All this makes me a very uninteresting person and I also feel I'm getting dumber and dumber as time goes by.