My (42m) grandmother's (98f) dementia has been accelerating recently, especially after my grandfather (97m) passed away last November. She still lives in the home they bought in 1970, with my aunt (64f) being her caregiver.

2 weeks ago she got into the basement, moved some things around, went up the stairs, had a heart attack, then came back down the stairs. She survived the fall. She spent a week in the critical cardiology unit at a local hospital, and is now at a rehab facility. She knows who she is, and that her husband passed away. She doesn't remember any family members. She doesn't know where she is, or where she is going, or what is going on with her. She regularly states she wishes the Lord would take her.

It is unfortunate that her heart attack and fall didn't take her. Instead of dying at her home, she has now spent weeks in the hospital and rehab, and is almost certainly going to end up in a memory care facility, just waiting the clock out. Her memories are gone, and she has become a completely different person.

I'm not sure if I can visit her again. I've already said goodbye, and even if I did so again, she wouldn't know who I was, or why I was visiting her.

Yesterday, my sister was found by her roommate dead in their room. She hanged herself using a bedsheet. My mother called me for the first time in two years to break the news. I didn't believe her. I thought she just wanted to have access to me until our youngest came to the phone. He was the closest to where she lived. When they talked to her friends, they said she hadn't seen her on campus since the semester started almost two weeks ago. It took 3 days of constant messaging before she responded to them. She told them that she was "alive and well" and that she was going home for a while. I don't know how to feel anything. I tried to call her phone. I still have the instinct to call and scold her. To tell her she's dumb or so selfish. That I didn't waste almost four years of putting her through school for nothing while working in another country. She was smarter than that. I don't know why she would do that. I'm so mad. I was coming home. Why couldn't she wait? We could have talked.

Without getting into details, I suffer from endometriosis, a myriad of mental health conditions, and a long list of old injuries including but not limited to a broken back. After having been medically discharged from the military, I’m faced with proving how disabled I am every year to be on a government check. It’s not something I’m interested in pursuing.

That being said, I still want my better half to keep on living and he is not understanding why I want to apply for medical assistance in death.

I’m in pain, I’m tired of the medications and the med trials that make me feel sick in so many ways. After watching the world kind of fall apart during COVID (I was a registered nurse), I really don’t want to keep going.

What can I do to support my loved ones in this transition?

Our 27 y/o son died June 1. We just got the tox report. Cocaine and alcohol. He was a gifted attorney with an amazing girlfriend, parents who loved, encouraged and supported him with his whole life ahead of him. Why would he throw away EVERYTHING he worked so hard for this way. I’m just numb. Where did we go wrong? We taught him better than this and now I feel like we were being snowed by him. His gf is the sweetest person in the world and was always on him about eating healthy and taking care of himself! She would be devastated to know the truth. They were doing a long distance relationship, seeing each other every 2 weeks and she was moving to be closer to him next month. I never suspected this in a million years. I feel like not only did my son died but the image of the man I thought I knew and loved did as well. I swear this hurts more than the initial phone call…

I’ve never posted here before but this happened some months ago and I have no idea what to make of it and I really need help from someone who will understand. I feel like my feelings have nowhere to go and I can’t talk to anybody.

I’m a broke kid, 17 yo, so last Christmas I just made handmade gifts. I made handmade personalized cards for everybody, and so I made one for my older sister too. We lost her suddenly two years ago (12/12/24) from fentanyl overdose so the holidays are especially rough. I wrote everything that I wanted to say to her in the letter, sealed it, and left it under the tree. I didn’t even let my mom read it, though she asked. It’s supposed to be just between me and her. The letter got put in her corner (above the piano with pictures of her, her urn, and her favorite things) and is still there.

Well a couple months ago my little brothers dad (we do not share a dad and my mom is no longer with him) came over to see him and while I was upstairs he opened the letter and read it. Didn’t even ask. When I came back down he sat me down to talk about the contents of the letter and give me some advice. I broke down into tears, which he seemed to take as grieving tears (and some were) but it was mostly out of frustration and confusion. On one hand, the advice he gave was pretty solid, and I know he’s coming from a loving and understanding place. He lost his 7 year old son from his previous marriage in 2021, so he knows grief.

On the other hand, i’m really upset. I’m still upset. That letter was only for my sister. He saw a sealed letter addressed to my deceased sister and decided it was within his right to be the one to open it. I feel like it ruined it. How can I know that my sister got to read the letter if he opened it for himself? I’m really conflicted about this because I don’t think he had any ill intention but I can’t help but feel upset about this. I have not brought it up to him that what he did upset me, and I don’t intend to. I don’t have a good relationship with him in the first place and avoid him mostly. That’s another reason why I can’t understand why he would read it, we aren’t even close. Does anybody have any advice or input on this that can help me deal with this? Any kind words are appreciated.

The pictures are of the letter and my beautiful sister. She would be turning 28 this year :)

It has been 82 days since my dad passed unexpectedly and everyday feels just as awful as the first ones, I think today was even worse than the first week. I miss him so much and I just want him back, the worse part is that somehow I think he will come back.

I hate being alive, I don't find joy in anything, I wake up and I just do whatever so the time passes and I can go back to sleep, life in my dreams feels better than my actual life so being awake is torture, I can't imagine 1, 5, 10 years of this, much less 30 or 40.

Nobody talks about my dad, it's like he never existed, my mother, sister and niece seem like they have already moved on, how can anyone move on in a few months after living with someone for decades? I just cry when I'm alone and people think I'm better so nobody checks on me.

I'm so tired, I just want to be with my dad.

I’m no stranger to loss. My Mom died 10 years ago, my sister died 5 years ago and my Dad died in June. But this is honestly one of the most shocking and f*cked up things I’ve ever experienced. He was 33, had a very loving family and there were no signs that anything was wrong. He didn’t pick his Mom up from the airport on Monday and when she got home she found the note he left. After a couple of hours of frantic searching, his Dad found him in the corner of the backyard. I am so angry he did this to his Mother. I’m so sad he felt he had to do this. I am so shocked that it doesn’t even feel like I’m in my body.

My dad was diagnosed with esophageal cancer September 2021. He passed December 24, just three months later. None of us had enough time to process what was happening. I was able to help care for him for the last two weeks of his life, but I never got the chance to tell him how much I loved him. 11 months later, my sister died in an accident. After we took care of my sisters cremation, I remember sitting on my couch, numb and in shock. I gave myself permission to feel my feelings and take time to try to heal. It’s been four years since my dad died and three years since my sister died. I imagined or at least hoped that it would get easier. Some days are better than others, but I constantly have memories that pull me back. Especially to the room my dad died in. I feel such a deep sense of loss like I’m missing a huge part of myself and who I used to be. I heard a quote that said when you lose your father, you sink one foot deeper into the Earth.

Does it ever get any easier or does grief just change with time? Will I ever be able to get through an entire day without crying?

I know this might sound silly to some people, but today was actually a really important day for me. I went out hunting for Needohs at Target, and it was a bigger deal than just finding a squishy toy.

After my dad passed away unexpectedly, I developed severe anxiety and agoraphobia. Things that used to feel normal — like leaving the house, going into stores, or being out by myself — became really hard. I’ve been working on taking small steps, even when my anxiety tells me not to.

Today I pushed myself to go to Target. I walked in, looked around, searched for the Needohs I’ve been wanting, and I did it even though I was anxious. I actually found one I was hoping for (the cloud pleaser ☁️ ), but the biggest win was proving to myself that I could go.

My dad always believed in me, and I think he would’ve been proud that I’m still trying and still finding little moments of happiness.

So here’s to the little victories — and to Needoh hunting being a form of exposure therapy I never expected 😂💗

I (18M) had a happy dream about my little sister a few days ago. I took her to a bouncyhouse and took care of her + gave her some headpats when she got scared :) it was nice.

I felt very empty after waking up. It made me go back to the person I was when she died. I thought I killed that person, but I guess he's still down there. This terrifies me.

I had another nightmare before this one (completely unrelated to her). It was very scary 😭😭😭 I'm not sure which one is causing this.

I am afraid of sleeping because I don't want to dream anymore. How do I start feeling comfortable falling asleep again?

Writing this like three hours after my bedtime lmao 😭 I'm sorry about any typos or errors :3

Thanks for reading 🫶🏻

specially when the person faked it from the beginning? while you wanted something genuine and something meaningful?

I’ve lost my mother in February, it’s strange to think about frankly how many months it’s been already. In that time I’ve rarely allowed myself to cry or think about her at all. I shed a few tears in my bed if I read her old texts or if a memory of her reappears in my head but I feel as though there’s a mental blockage regarding the event. All my life I built it around her and now that she’s gone I feel that I have no one anymore. I feel that if I really start crying about her I’ll never stop crying, like I’d never get up again. In the time that she’s left I’ve been trying my best to get on with life. I’ve made strides towards where I want to go but everything feels so hollow and meaningless. At all times I feel like an imposter in my own body. I’m more sensitive and tired than I’ve ever been. I feel like a child in an adults body. My daydreams have turned from the amazing to self soothing fantasies. Its been eating me alive

Does anyone else not accept the loss, like the brain..not working? can't think about the fact that they will never really be here again. I read the posts here, it's been almost 2 months, my beloved dreams of me every day, but when I don't eat anything or eat little, the brain doesn't think, there are no tears. I feel a lick of emptiness and imagine scenarios where I save her

Hi, so it's been 3 months and I think I am going crazy.

I lost him so sudden, after 44 years of him there, he is gone. No more advice, no more criticism.

The second I hear his voice I cry a river, then I get angry at him for not looking after self.

Listen to him music hoping I feel something other than sadness and hate. But it's like all I have.

I called him every 2 days. always asking him how he was. Telling him about my day.

A month before he passed he told me how I was the only one who called. It broke me since I was one of 5 of his kids..

I then invited him to to woodworking and do some fishing over the summer.

And he was keen.

I think now of him dying alone no one around him scared. Laying there on that cold concrete, hit heart getting slower and nothing.

I think about that last week was there any signs and I can't think of a single one.

And then there the worst part that it took 45 minutes to get an ambulance to him he should have been hightest priority.

For 3 months each day feels heavy and fragile like I can break at any time.

I feel like I just need to rant to get this out. Music don't help and writting letters to him don't as well.

I was so fortunate to be born with all four grandparents and to have three of them until last year (the first passed when I was an older kid). I have my mom's parents, thank God, but my dad's mom, my other grandmother, passed in November. I live close to where she did and I would visit her as much as I could. She and I would go on girls' days out a lot, we had special rituals, we got along so well and I even look like her. I did my engagement pictures at her house to involve her and my grandfather in a way since neither could make my wedding. She always told me how proud she was of me. I remember her telling me too that if anything ever happened I could always come to her house, she was telling me that even when she was so sick and bedridden. She was sick during a lot of my major life changes (marriage, moving, graduation, first real job) and I just wish she could still be here. I miss her so much. I feel incomplete.

My mom's parents, as I said, are still around, and fairly well. But my grandfather's birthday is soon and he is turning the age my grandmother was when she passed. I feel like I will just die too whenever either of them goes, I am incredibly close with them.

She always had my favorite candy at the house for me, and she always would compliment my piano skills (which were no good) whenever I played for her, and she and I got along so very well even though she could be a tough cookie sometimes. She was never anything less than a strong willed woman and even sick she was petting my hair with my head in her lap. She could do anything.

I just miss and want my grandmother. And I don't want anything to happen to my mom's parents. I am just a scared and sad little girl inside, I grew up, yes, but I will always be their little girl too, and this little girl needs her grandmother very much right now.

I am 20 years old and my dad passed away yesterday morning. I was woken up by his cries and my mom called 911. The ambulance took him to the hospital and I'm afraid they didn't treat him in time. He had an aortic dissection and it hurts me so terribly to know that he died in pain. My mom said that they were both talking in his hospital room, and all of a sudden my dad started convulsing, followed by my moms screams. I rushed me and my older brother to go see him and that's when she told me the horrible news. I saw his cold dead body. He was once a warm man and now he was in his bed, pale and cold. I only stroked his soft hair. My extended family were on their way to see them, but I felt so sick that I had to get out of there immediately. I spent most of the day grieving with my friends as I couldn't bare to be home, the carpets and some items messed up on the floor from him struggling to survive. My mom slept in my bed with me. I don't know what to do. I am about to start university next month i don't know what to do without him. I want to care so deeply for my mom but it's hard to even feed myself. How long does grief even last.

Holding on to grief, maybe its normal, maybe its not. I feel stuck. The death occurred after years of living within their parameters of anxiety and anger. I was always walking on eggshells and trying to keep everyone in the household from raging or crying. I dont know how I feel or who I am. But now i am single, widowed, alone. Now it is up to me to figure out who I am going into the future.

At one time I tried meditation. It actually sucked me deeper into sadness.

There is a somatic breathing, yoga therapy retreat coming up. Im curious about experiences of others good or bad, what to know as a newbie considering this option. Thank you

My mom and I shared a very close bond — she was my anchor and my source of comfort. When her personality began to change, my sibling often complained that Mom was making her life difficult. I suggested it might be dementia, but my sibling dismissed the idea. Because we lived in different countries, I didn’t see the changes myself. During Mom’s last visit, she seemed completely normal to me. She even supported me through the painful experience of putting my dog to sleep. But when I visited her last year, it struck me deeply that she was no longer the person I had always known.

Two weeks after returning to the US, I began experiencing health issues. My first blood tests, including autoimmune panels, were normal. But my PCP referred me to a specialist to check it further and the specialist prescribed steroids, and 2 days after taking steroid, the skin on my fingers became dry, hardened, and sometimes cracked. A second round of tests showed autoimmune activity. Not long after, I developed acid reflux.

While dealing with these health challenges, I couldn’t turn to my mom for comfort the way I always had. Our calls were brief, and she often wanted to end them quickly. Losing that emotional support felt like losing a part of my foundation. Then she passed away suddenly in April from a heart attack. Since then, my grief has felt heavier, and my skin issues I shared above and sleep have been getting worse. My only sibling doesn’t want to talk about our mom because their relationship was strained, so I’ve been carrying all of this alone. I’m hoping to find support as I navigate how grief and stress may be impacting my health, and how to begin healing both emotionally and physically...

My dad had been battling a rare autoimmune disease called scleroderma for the past eight years. I still remember the day we first searched it on Google. It said the life expectancy was around 8–10 years, and I remember crying hysterically. I couldn’t imagine losing him.
Over the years, the strongest person I knew slowly became frail and weak.
For the last four years, he lived with my mom while my brother and I had moved away for college, but he kept traveling for treatment. My parents had their share of fights, but despite that, I was always incredibly close to my dad.
In November 2025, just two months before he passed, he was admitted to the ICU. That was the first time I truly felt like I was going to lose him. Somehow, he recovered. I remember sleeping beside him in the hospital, watching him joke with the nurses and listen to old Bollywood songs on TV. He was eventually discharged, but something had changed.
He had already been hospitalized before, including for a pacemaker, but after this admission he became noticeably weaker. He lost a lot of weight, and I did everything I could to care for him. I helped bathe him, changed his clothes, combed his hair—anything that would make things easier for him.
On the night he passed away, I had secretly ordered a birthday cake that was supposed to arrive the next morning.
A few moments before everything happened, he called my name. I ignored him because I thought he just needed help with some work and I pretended to be asleep in the other room. That decision still haunts me.
Then I suddenly heard him coughing. I ran to him, and things quickly became worse. He wanted to go to the bathroom but couldn’t get up, so I called my mom. He ended up passing stool on my bed and immediately became embarrassed. Even in that moment, he covered himself with a small towel because he didn’t want me to see him like that. I pretended not to notice to protect his dignity.
A few moments later, he lay down on my bed. The ambulance arrived, but there was nothing they could do. He passed away on my bed.
For the first few hours, I didn’t even cry. I was completely numb. It didn’t feel real.
At that time, I didn’t have a job, and my mom is a freelancer. I was also in my final year of college while placements were going on.
Just 10 days later, on February 11, I celebrated my first birthday without him. The very next day, I attended an interview that I somehow managed to clear, and I started my internship on February 23.
For February, March, and April, I barely cried. I thought maybe I was handling it well.
But now everything has hit me.
I miss him every single day. Every night I cry. I feel depressed, anxious, and like I’m getting worse instead of better. I’ve also started distancing myself from my mom, and I don’t even know why. I just want my dad back.
On top of that, I’m dealing with financial stress. My internship is ending soon, I haven’t been offered a full-time role, and I’m terrified about my future. I constantly feel like I’ve failed him

Throwaway, I (23 f) had a rocky relationship with a man (29y)

We didn't work out, we both had things that needed to be fixed. We couldn't support each other while supporting ourselves. He had a drinking habit and I was trying to be sober. Not important but for context. I still loved him. I wanted what was best for him.

We briefly kept in contact here and there, I found somebody else. He was searching for other people, and they just never worked out.

We have distance between us, same state, few hour drive. He committed and I did not hear anything until almost a month later. It wasn't uncommon for us to go a month or so without checking in.

I feel guilty. I know he loved me. He wanted us to work out. There was a time when I had believed we would eventually resolve our internal issues and join hands again.( I never lead him on, he knew about my new partner, we would tell each other our life updates, new music interests etc)

Is this survivors guilt? Am I overreacting like some people say? My heart is broken. I wanted the best for him. I wanted to see him sober, happy, chasing his career. I keep texting him, waiting for a response that I'll never receive. If you've been here, I appreciate any advice.

I’m sorry it’s long and a lot but I just need some words, any kind of words good or bad . I feel so empty and sad. She thought she loved me and she didn’t know that I loved her even more .

I knew I loved her but we had been having many arguments, during her last days. I forgot how much I loved her, but I did think many times of the day I’d have to let her go but never did I think that she’d be gone too soon.

Arguments were very unnecessary. Mom said these arguments were the cause of her illness. She really meant it, it felt reliable to believe ….

This was a weird phase in my life I wish I was a different daughter …. I don’t like me very much now…. I was very defensive I could never see why she was angry, I felt entitled. Some friends say they’re like this with their parents. They say I’m good. I don’t know what’s real.

All I know was that I was patient and cold and I don’t know how I had the nerves to be so calm around mom when she started to collapse. I was certain she wouldn’t die. I was so confused why mom was suddenly acting so strange. Accusing me of hating her and wanting her to go and being stupid. She told me God hated me and if he took her it’d be because he hated me and wanted me to be lonely and so poor I’d go crazy because of the change. She didn’t ask for help. I don’t know how I’m not certain but I’m not certain if she was honest about her illness with me or hid it from me. It was like she didn’t want any “favors” because of recent petty arguments . She acted like she was fine and she was honest to other people , her cousins who were envious of our relationship and she didn’t know…..

Of course they knew and they didn’t help. I found out and I was late to know, but I feel I didn’t ask her …. It was odd… maybe if I asked more I’d have known what message she deleted …. I just blame myself even if I lived with her and loved her and stayed with her and cried blood for her and brought a doctor for her. I was calmer than I thought I’d ever be if she got sick.

do any of you just want to stop eating and drinking and end it all, or get drunk on energy drinks..i'm so tired, my beloved is alone there, i want her so much, we were only 22 and 23, she didn't deserve to die so early. sometimes all that can calm me down is that my condition will kill me. i don't want to get better, i don't want youth without her, life, i don't want to forget her. i don't want to be older than her..sorry, i'm pathetic.I'm just tired, we had plans to move, I had to find a job, my parents are screaming that I should forget her already, but it's only been 2 months. I just want to go home, I want to be with her, if you feel the same way please write, I'm going crazy in this loneliness. She was my everything, we are both autistic and found understanding in each other, and now.. I'm devastated

I, mid-20s F, lost my mom 3 months ago to cancer. She was my best friend, and I have been struggling every single day with an unbelievable amount of grief.

My girlfriend (late 20s) has been a fantastic support to me throughout it all. However, some really big issues have been popping up lately, and she has been developing some serious anger issues. We have had some huge blowout fights that are really unhealthy. A few nights ago, things escalated beyond what I expected, and she showed a side of herself that I was really scared to see; she was almost physically violent. Several of my close and very trusted friends witnessed it and have all shared they are really worried for me and think I need to get out of the relationship.

I think they are objectively right, but I truly do not feel strong enough to handle a breakup right now. I know the alternative of staying in an unhealthy and progressively worsening relationship is also not ideal, but the thought of bearing another loss right now feels too great to be able to manage. I have never been the type of person to stay in a relationship because I'm scared to be alone, but that is what I am leaning towards, even though I know it is not the right thing.

My loved ones have all been telling me to leave, but none of them know what it's like to go through something difficult while also freshly grieving a mother. The pain of losing my mom feels insurmountable as is, and I feel like I literally cannot survive another loss. The thought of losing her as my forever partner and having my next partner never have met my mom makes me sick. My mom loved my girlfriend, and I was so grateful that they got to meet and get to know each other. My mom took a lot of comfort knowing she was leaving me in good hands. I took so much comfort in both of us being able to share stories about her with our kids one day, and losing that future makes me feel sick.

I know my mom would also not want me to be in an unhealthy relationship. But I can't help but feel that losing my girlfriend is losing another piece of my mom. I have other great friends who love and care about me, but when I wake up sobbing in the middle of the night, it's her who's there. She's the one who takes me to visit her grave. She's the one who holds me when I'm breaking down, who sees me like no one else does, and is just there all the time. All my friends have lives of their own of course, and it feels like she is the only one who has me at the top of her priority list. I just don't feel ready to give that up, even though there are a lot of bad things that come with it.

I would appreciate any advice from anyone who has been in a similar position. I feel so lost and all I want to do is ask my mom what to do.

TLDR: I am scared to break up with my girlfriend even though I know it's probably the right thing to do, because I can't cope with the thought of having another loss right after losing my mom.

I went through the I guess typical overwhelming grief standard stages and as I felt I could be starting to come out of the fog, about month 10 or 11 post my mom *and last/only parent* passing - I was abruptly layed off from my job of 10 years. It's been a double edged sword so to speak - being able to have the time needed to really sit and process the 1 year milestones for her birthday and the 1 year since she passed (2 weeks apart) but on the other hand I feel I am also struggling with some of the early stages of grief again where I am sleeping so long and still always so tired and don't find much joy in doing things and have to really drag myself to participate in activities planned. I understand job loss is also grief... but Idk how long I should "allow" myself to sit with it all verses determining a time frame I should snap myself out of it and force myself into routines and finding a new job. I returned to work after 3 days of my mom passing away so unsure if I pushed thru and used work to distract a bit. Anyways... any feedback or thoughts is appreciated.