Hi, all. I've never really posted in here before but I guess I just wanted to post because I need advice. Its currently almost 11pm and im laying in bed crying over the fact that I want to be a funeral director so badly but with no direction. Ive wanted to be a funeral director since I was 12 years old. It's been my passion and everyone that knows me knows how much Ive talked about it throughout my life. (I'm currently 27). Everyone has said it's my calling and I know deep down it is.
A bit of backstory, I was hired at my local funeral home as a funeral services assistant. I obtained my trainee license to embalm and was able to experience and help out with an embalming. Everytime I was at the funeral home and I met with the families and they spoke to felt like something I can't even explain. I've never been happier helping families and being In the prep room.
Fast forward a bit, I get accepted at the Pittsburgh Institute of Mortuary Science. (I live in Pennsylvania). I do the online program and Its accelerated. The first semester was a bit challenging but I made through and did very well. The second semester, I struggled and ended up dropping out because of the pace of the program. I was working a full time job and I was part-time at the funeral home whilst being a full-time student. Due to the pace of the program and how much I needed to focus on my school work/studying/lab hours/ work at the funeral home, I concluded that accelerated was not an efficient way for me to learn and I could not work a full-time job and do school at the same time. The issue is, I am not financially able to focus on school and not work a full time job. So, I made the extremely hard decision to step away. I haven't been back in almost a year now. I left with $3,500 in debt and forced myself into a different career as a Pharmacy Technician. While I do like my job as a pharmacy tech, I know it's not where my heart is and I grieve every moment I am not at the funeral home. My local funeral home ended up letting me go because their business was not doing well and they could not afford to pay their funeral assistants. I've been devastated since and I don't know what to do but it hurts so badly. I'd like to go to school at the community college in Eastern PA, but I live almost 4 hours away from it. I feel like I was so close and then everything was taken away from me and now I'm even further away from my future career and it hurts. I looked into school at the Cincinnati College of Mortuary Science but tuition was double as it's a private school and I am leary about their program and the way it works. I am at a complete loss and I don't know what to do.
If anyone has ANY type of recommendations or advice as a funeral director regarding schooling and what my next steps could be, it would absolutely, be immensely appreciated. I don't know what to do anymore and it truly kills me everyday. Thank you for taking the time to read if you did and thank you for all that you do to help families and their loved ones.. 💜