I've been single for a few years but I miss having a partner. The thought of dating is exhausting. I don't know how I used to go on apps and talk to people. I think I used to be more outgoing. Lol does anyone have tips for getting back out there?

we were talking and she randomly said “there’s this one time i was going to see a girl and i couldn’t kiss her bc my herpes was active”, and she said it in a very calm way and when i was shocked she replied with “wdym basically everyone has it”.

we’ve had sex 2 times now, we’ve kissed a lot. i’m feeling so weird rn, although i know it’s a benign condition, im still feeling icky about it and like she definitely should’ve told me before being intimate with me.

edit: she said it’s a cold sore. she kept dismissing me after i told her although its not a big deal i would’ve appreciated her sharing that with me. im not comfortable being with her, we ended things.

I normally don't really care for my bday but this year is the first year I'm out to all my close friends and immediate family. Happy 28th to me 🥳

A friend of mine who is straight really wants to sleep with a woman because, in her own words, she "just wants to try it."

That's completely her choice, but she keeps asking me if I'd do it with her.

I've already told her several times that I'm not interested in sleeping with her, but she keeps bringing it up anyway. Maybe it would be different if I found her physically attractive, but I don't. I've also been completely honest with her and told her that I like her as a friend, but I don't find her sexually attractive.

At this point, it's honestly getting really frustrating that she keeps trying.

I've even suggested that she check out dating apps because there are definitely women who are interested in sleeping with straight women who want to experiment.

I know she's asking me because we already know each other and she trusts me, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm simply not interested.

What would you guys do?

I don’t even know if I’m asking for advice or just venting at this point.
I’m a 22-year-old bi woman in Atlanta, and I genuinely just want a girlfriend. Not a hookup. Not a situationship. I want my person.
I’ve been trying. I’ve gone to lesbian bars, I’ve used dating apps, I’ve put myself out there, and somehow I feel even more burned out than when I started.
The thing is, I’m realizing I’m probably not a bar person. I only go because I don’t know where else to meet queer women. 😭 In reality, I’m a huge nerd. I’d rather be at a café, bookstore, anime convention, or playing games than at a club.
I’m femme4femme, and I’m mainly attracted to feminine Black domme women , but I swear I have no idea where y’all are hiding. 😂
Another thing I’ve noticed is that I keep attracting emotionally unavailable or avoidant women, and it’s honestly discouraging. I want someone who’s excited to get to know me. I miss the idea of talking for hours, laughing, learning about each other’s interests, building an emotional connection… that’s the part I want the most.
I also wonder if I’m making dating harder on myself because I’m pursuing becoming a flight attendant. My entire family works in aviation, and it’s something I’ve wanted for a long time. Is that actually a turnoff when dating, or am I just overthinking it?
For the people in Atlanta (or honestly anywhere), where are y’all meeting other nerdy queer woman? Especially the ones who’d rather go to Dragon Con than a club.
Because at this point… I just want my person. 😭

Turns out she’s in an open relationship and has a boyfriend 😒

But seriously, I dont make a big deal about birthdays but there was a time in my 20s where I didnt think I'd live to be this long due to mental health. ❤️❤️

Sorry but lonely masc who needs to vent real quick. Im SO tired of being single. I'm tired of going on dates that lead nowhere. I'm tired of dating apps and leaving lgbt meetups feeling hopeless. I just want to be in love, to yearn, to be romantic, to go on cute dates with a beautiful woman and just be. WHY IS THIS SO HARD??

🫂🫂🫂🫂

I’m 34 and sometimes I wonder if I’m asking for too much. I don’t want a perfect person, I just want someone I can love deeply and who chooses me back.
It feels strange that something so simple can be so hard to find. I’m curious if others feel the same, especially those who have struggled to find a real connection later in life.
How do you keep believing it will happen?

So, I have an odd situation. I met this girl way back in December and we hung out, I took her to the mall, we hit her bong, and I ended up staying the night and it was totally innocent. I ended up having to return to college a couple weeks later and I ghosted her later on as we didn’t even talk at a certain point.

Fast forward to last week, I’d been really hormonal and I decided to text her to see if we could hang out. Mind you, I was still a virgin and did not expect it to even go in a sexual direction, but it did. I picked her up from work, we went to her place, got high, then I asked to kiss her then we fucked almost immediately after our first kiss. After we finished she told me how unexpected it was and how she didn’t think I liked her like that, I told her I did, because in the moment I thought I liked her. It’s hard to remember everything in clear detail, but we decided to start dating. She immediately made plans for me to essentially never leave her side for the next week until she left for vacation. I did not realize this at the time, but she trapped me sort of. I had to pick her up from work every day from that point on, then I would spend the night at her house. She wants to know where I am at pretty much always, she texts me from work, she says she misses me every moment. This is immediately distressing to be honest.

This goes on for several days, I tell myself it’s fine because she’s leaving for vacation soon then we’ll get a break. I introduce her to my family in the process of getting some new clothes and stuff from my place and she hits it off with them immediately, I invite her to my sisters birthday party and they seem quick friends. They have a lot in common and she immediately got my sister several gifts, some of her own stuff she already had, and then some stuff she got from friends.

What scares me most is how involved she is already, we’re both only 18 and she wants a future with me within less than a week of dating. She has introduced me to a lot of her family already too. I don’t exactly want a girl this clingy, and I wish I knew from the beginning she would be this way. She does nothing but butter me up, say that she’s “obsessed” with me, and all this other out there nonsense.

Believe me, I like her. I lose track of time when I’m with her, we have good sex. But I don’t think I’m even as attracted to her as she is to me. Sex is becoming a task already and we’re only nearly two weeks in, I make her come 8 times in a row, she can’t even make me come once.

I do not know how to break it to her that her behavior has been a massive turn off, I feel like she will be heartbroken and we’ll have no choice but to break it off. I just wish she wouldn’t have rushed into everything so quickly, maybe I wouldn’t be responding this way now.

I literally told her I am looking for my own place to live and she offered to be my ROOMMATE. That is fucking absurd to me. I do not know you and you do not know me, we are so new to this, she needs to slow down.

I dropped her off at the airport on Monday and was excited for a break from her, but immediately all she does is snap me. I told her to enjoy her fuckin vacation and tell me about it when she’s home, but no, she must document everything. Is it too much for me to want some space after seeing her every day building up to this vacation???

All she seems to be is a bundle of anxious attachment and unaddressed issues as I get to know her, and believe me, I have my issues too, but I work on them, she doesn’t even realize she has a problem. She calls me “love” already. She keeps buying me stuff in Vegas rn. I don’t want any of this anymore, but I do not know where to stop this without hurting her. I can’t break up with her while she’s in Vegas, but I know she’s going to regret all the stuff she has done for me.

Also, she seems to think I’m so “attractive” that any girl will just swoop me up and I’ll cheat on her. That’s disgusting to me, how dare she even accuse me of reaching such low levels as a person. I would fucking never, and I hardly even know her yet she wants to control who I talk to.

She reads all my text convos, convinced me to give her my phone password (mind you, I have never asked for hers because I DO NOT CARE WHAT SHE DOES ON HER PHONE.)

Listen, I know I’ve done her wrong by ghosting her in the past, but I feel like I do not deserve this treatment. It feels like I am under surveillance.

I don’t want this to be so long nobody reads it, so I think that is the majority of it, but believe me there are more things I won’t even list. What do I do? How can I let her down easily? Also, it’s just so embarrassing because I’ve already hard launched her and now all my friends will see this relationship go to the dumps within days. Help.

TLDR: Took a girl out who has anxious attachment issues, now she won’t give me any room to breathe.

What happened, external or internal, to make dating click for you?

I've yet to actually date anyone, despite being really content with myself (internally and externally), but that is most likely due to the fact that i am not easily "interested". So i'm not sure whether i am missing anything, or whether i've simply yet to have a plausible opportunity.

Im interested to hear whether there was anything looking back for anyone that made it become a lot easier!

so for a little bit of background i am 17f so is my girlfriend,this js both of our first relationship. we have been dating for 9 months and we have never made out . we have kissed, a few times but never anything more.

I’ve always hated physical contact, I cant eveb stand the feeling of someone else’s bodily warmth- Even my closest friends and family, it makes me feel so uncomfortable. But with my girlfriend i actually want to be close to her and i want to touch and i feel like i’m never close enough to her which is something i’ve never experienced with anyone else before. But for some reason every time i want to touch her or kiss her or makeout with her it genuinely feels like theres a barrier stopping me .

I like her SO much, i liked her for so long before we started dating-we where friends for about 4 years and i had the biggest crush on her for SO long, i never thought that i would ever actually end up dating her. and i feel like such an idiot for the fact that i am messing up something į used to PRAYY for with something so embarrassing. i can’t even talk to my friends about it anymore because i feel so so ashamed about it.

i don’t know if i’m ace…i dont know if i just have intimacy issues… maybe i just don’t like girls …
(however i can only get off to women… so?)

Has anyone else experienced anything, and how
do i talk to my girlfriend about it.
please be nice i am soso embarrassed to be asking about this į dont know what the fuck is wrong with me

Sorry for the weird question, but I’ve always kinda wondered how it would work if you’re laying on the side cuddling with someone.

I’ve got little to no experience with this myself because i generally don’t really cuddle much, but a friend of mine recently asked if we could cuddle and now I kinda realised how much I honestly needed that.

So to get back to my original question, what do I do with my other arm? Am I laying on it, do I just have it behind me or something while the other is wrapped around someone? I’m kinda confused and could need help

I honestly don't know how to phrase this topic, so I'm just going to try.

Sappho wrote love poetry for women. She did not write love poetry for men. We can't say with certainty today whether Sappho was bisexual or homosexual. But what we do know is that the surviving love poems she wrote were dedicated to women. She even lived on Lesbos and had a space that was exclusively for women, there were no men there.

Now here's the part that really bothers me. Men took Sappho's love poems, destroyed some of them, threw them away, rewrote others, and even attributed things to Sappho that she didn't write. Today, scholars recognize that male writers and editors altered the tradition surrounding Sappho's work. They tried to ridicule her sexuality and shift the focus back toward men.

This brings me to something I don't understand, and I'd like to hear other people's thoughts.

I find it strange, and, in a way, it even feels disrespectful, when women who are also attracted to men call themselves sapphic. Can anyone understand why that makes me uncomfortable?

To me, it sometimes feels like the label "sapphic" ends up distancing itself from what Sappho's surviving love poetry actually represents. When women who are attracted to men use the label, I can't help feeling as though the historical sidelining of Sappho's love for women has somehow come full circle.

I'm genuinely not trying to attack anyone. I'm just trying to explain why this makes me uncomfortable and to ask whether anyone else has similar feelings, or whether there's another perspective I'm missing.

What I’m referring to is specifically women who identify as sapphic while also talking about their attraction to men.

Sappho did not write about attraction to men. In her surviving poetry, she expressed love and desire for women, not for men. That's why I personally struggle with the way the label "sapphic" is sometimes used. To me, Sappho's legacy is rooted in her surviving love poetry about women. When people use this label while centering or openly talking about their attraction to men, it feels disconnected from what Sappho's work represents to me.

As far as her surviving poetry shows, Sappho’s love poetry is entirely centered on women. There are no surviving poems in which she laments being with a man while longing for a woman, or in which a male partner is presented as part of those romantic relationships.

Edit: What I mean is that many women who identify as sapphic also openly talk about their attraction to men or share stories like, "I fell in love with a woman while I was married to my husband." As far as Sappho's surviving poetry shows, that isn't the kind of story she wrote. Her love poetry was never centered on men. Men simply do not play a romantic or sexual role in her surviving love poems; those poems are centered on women.

To convey my point as clearly as possible in conclusion, what I mean is this:

Sappho is a historical person who, in her literary works, only mentioned women when writing about romance, sex, and emotion. Therefore, strictly speaking, anything else that mentions men is not sapphic and undermines the orientation of her literary works.

! Just a heads-up: I translated this using a translation tool, so some words or sentences might not be completely accurate. I hope my point still comes across !

just a pic

Ive been with my gf for about 2 months and her birthday was a couple days ago so I got her a couple gifts and had a hangout/date planned for a picnic at a park near our houses which isn't too far from her. I texted her super excited this morning asking if she's excited for today and if she has a time she wants to go out. Unfortunately she's been ghosting me all day and this isnt the first time she's done this or worse. I mean truthfully before her and i started dating she had this very rude/honesty thing of calling me fat then saying right after it how she doesn't mind it. I guess im trying to figure out what I should do since im at a lost for words and its making it really difficult to keep a conversation going with her. Any help would be appreciated.

So update on the whole thing my ex now just broke up with me.

You were my first love. Not my first time. Not my first kiss. But you were my first choice. The one I trusted completely and so wholeheartedly. And i know that you’ll never feel the same. I know that you don’t think of me in the middle of the night. I know that you don’t cry of what we could’ve been. How you made me want to look nice every time I knew you were coming. How in the darkest of the night I wish it was you holding me, kissing me, talking to me. You were the one who made me realize that i wasn’t broken or incapable of loving someone else. How even now I still want you. Even after the silence. The arguments. The laughs. The heartbreak. It is still you. Because you were my person. But I was never yours. So I took what I could get from you. I took the kisses, the touching, the whispering, the smiles, everything that you were willing to give me. Because it didn’t matter to you that I gave you my heart because i knew that you wouldn’t keep it. Does that make me sick? Deranged? A masochist? Maybe. Because even when the good didn’t out weigh the bad I still took it. I still take it. You were the first woman who made me feel like it was okay to just exist. That I didn’t have to be…on. That I was beautiful even when I thought I wasn’t. But when I think about it now. I don’t think that you made me fall in love with you on purpose. I think that’s just who you are. So easy to love. To smile. To just exist with. I cried when you said that you loved me. Not because I was happy but because I knew that you couldn’t love me the way I wanted you to. Because I think that you don’t understand that just the bare minimum from you is enough to make me feel enough. And I hate that i feel this way. I hate that I’m crying writing this. I hate that even now you still affect me with your silence. And what I hate most is that i know that I’ll come right back every time. I’m not trying to guilt you or make you feel bad about just making me feel this way. Because even now at my worst I just want to let you hold me. I want to hear your voice and your laugh, and your corny ass jokes, The way you mess with your hair when you’re focused, the way when you think no one is listening and smile when you see that I was, the way that I find you so fascinating and beautiful no matter what you do, the way that you pick at your nails when you’re bored, the way you paint your nails and you pick at them when you zone out, and just being there with you. I fell in love with you at 17, and I still love you now. I don’t hate you even when I thought that I did. Even when I knew that you will never love me the way that I love you. And that’s okay. That’s okay. Because I don’t regret it. I don’t think that I ever could. Because you made me feel everything. I love you. I am in love you. And I would do it over and over and over again.