My gf is trans, I am nonbinary. We both ride motorcycles, and my gf likes to do stunts on her motorcycle. There is an annual stunt ride every year that my gf goes to. It is the biggest stunt ride in the US, and spans multiple rides for a whole week. The guy who hosts/organizes this ride is transphobic/homophobic. He’s a big content creator, and owns a motorcycle shop.

She’s been going to these rides the last 2 years, and is about to go to this year’s. The first year we both went together. At this time it was not known that he was homophobic. The next year before the 2nd ride, he released a video where he said some pretty nasty transphobic/homophobic things. The video was quickly removed but my gf and I both saw the video, and lots of people talked about it at the time.

The part that I don’t understand is that she still supports him. She still went to the rides last year, and is still going this year too. She also buys his merch every year before the ride. Last year when she went to the ride, she left all of her girly clothing including bras at home and said she didn’t want anyone there knowing she was trans so she dressed in men’s clothing. I did go visit her for one night last year, but I refused to go on the rides. She put me in a really uncomfortable situation with other people there where I had to avoid any pronouns at all costs to not reveal that she was a woman.

This year she is doing the same thing. I am planning to go visit again for 2 nights, but same thing I will not go on any of his rides. The whole situation makes me extremely uncomfortable. I have brought it up over and over again how I don’t understand why she supports him and I don’t like it. She says she doesn’t like him anymore but continues to buy his stuff and go on his rides. Last year she even posted a picture with him, so pretty sure that she does in fact still like him. I am just really put off by it. She’s not changing her mind. I just can’t understand why.

i (18ftm) was just prescribed estrogen and progesterone by a “natural” doctor my mom forced me to go to. i said no i don’t want to and then they both ganged up on me. he gave me this because of my (diagnosed) anxiety, depression, and ocd because my parents think ssris are the devil after i’ve been told by 3 people they’re the best option. my parents also think that taking “female” hormones will fix my gender dysphoria. i was trying to make it through college because i really wanted to go and get a degree but i don’t even know anymore.
if i leave i wouldn’t know where to go what to do. i don’t have any friends or family i could live with, i don’t have a car or drivers license and i live in a town without public transit, or any support centers for lgbtq and the only shelter is run by a church. i also don’t know if i have the strength left to be homeless. i don’t have a job right now either, i tried to get one all summer and no one even called me back for an interview. i do have about $10k in the bank but i’d need to open an account because my parents are in that account, and about 1,500 in cash. what should i do. i’m so scared i don’t want to be homeless but i don’t want to be even more dysphoric. idk what to do

edit: my parents found out i’m trans. they knew but they stopped believing me when i deny it. it’s over. thank you everyone for the advice but i won’t be making it out this time. drink a shirley temple in my honor or something i don’t know

I was in a mlm relationship with a cis guy, i’m ftm, but they’ve just recently started exploring their gender more. He decided that they want to go by he/they, and that the label demiboy seems to fit him better, but they will still just say that they’re a guy since that’s too hard to explain to people. I said it’s perfectly fine and i’m definitely going to support them and help him try whatever pronouns or labels or transition that they want to. I love him regardless! Even if they ended up being transfem, even though i have a large preference for males, im not opposed to dating females, and it’d still be them, my partner no matter what they identify as or choose to be! But i was just wondering if this now counts as a t4t relationship, since demiboy technically falls under the nonbinary umbrella. But he still feels mainly male, which is what they were assigned at birth as. So im not sure if it’s considered t4t by some people. because he feels like he’s still mainly a boy, but partly not, that other part is more nonbinary. They’re exploring their femininity more & i’m proud of him. They’re still perfectly fine being called my boyfriend though. They’re also fine with being labeled nonbinary since demiboy falls under that category.
Do you consider this a T4T relationship now?

Cis people don’t get to choose their names. And lots of parents pick out names for both genders when they are having a baby. You always hear people be like, “this is Joey, but if he was a girl we were going to call him Sarah” etc.

Would it make sense, in a supportive family, to take that other name? Or was picking your own name a really important part of coming out for you? How did you choose your name?

Much lighter hearted question than we usually get here, but thought it would be a good place to ask regardless!

I've been out for well over a year now, and as part of my transition I've decided I want a LOT more ink. One of the biggest things I want to get is some sort of trans pride tattoo, probably in an area that is easier to cover if I ever need to be stealth for safety reasons. I'd like something at least a bit artsy, so not just a pride flag or symbol alone (though I think the latter is my backup). Bonus points if it works in just black ink, since most of my other tattoo ideas are in that theme and I'd kinda like to keep it going.

TW: chasers

I'm 30 MtF and only recently started HRT. I've been single for a few years while working myself out. Now I've worked myself out and I'm emotionally ready for a relationship, but I'm nervous about chasers.

I've had a few chaser experiences. One was with a guy I met at a social event. We had a whole convo about chasers and how bad it is. Later that night he kept hitting on me by saying things like he "likes a boy in makeup". Huge red flag.

The other experiences were with cis women. Twice we got all the way to the bedroom before it became clear that they were excited because they still saw me as a guy, but like a spicy guy. I didn't see any red flag signs before we were already involved, which worries me...

So I absolutely get how gross it feels to be chased... :(

Does anyone have any advice on spotting red flags for chasers? Happy to read about others experiences but no need to share details if that's not comfortable for you

Thanks in advance :)

I have this friend and i felt really good talking to them and everything but then they mentioned periods, and so in an effort to sympathise with them i said ‘yeah i feel you’ and then they questioned me since i told them i was a guy.. then i had to explain it and i felt kinda bad afterwards because i felt like a biological guy without them knowing which made me feel more confident in who i was n everything. Would it be bad if i didn‘t tell the other person i would bond with that i was trans? Unless they asked of course.. it might be a stupid question but i dont really wanna be doing anything wrong, and im really clueless

Long post about self realization and hopefully helpful to any of my struggling trans family here.

It’s official. I can’t fight it anymore. I’ve been mostly on hrt for three years stopping and starting. I’m a 45 year old MTF and I’ve been fighting it for my entire transition. I used to think “I convinced myself I’m trans” and “I’m probably just trying to escape from emotional pain”. Stopping and starting hrt. Every time
I stop after a day or two the feelings come back stronger. ”I can’t live in a male body” and when I see men my age I think “I’m not that! How can they stand to be so masculine”. Having this back and forth in my head slowly but surely started answering my deepest questions and confirmed my transness for me. While I have so many internalized phobias about my transition it comes down to fear of social rejection. I still boymode at work and public but something new has woken up in me. The exhaustion of fighting to make being the true woman I am sit out this lifetime so I can make society like me. This life’s challenge for me is to come out. This is monumental. I’m posting here because this Reddit has been a light in the dark for me. Reading through all the posts and comments looking for answers and relating to every single mtf post. What I’ve read in here is all true. Being trans is actually real. No you can’t stop it. Fighting it only makes her more desperate to live, and while society doesn’t support us we have each other. We aren’t truly alone. I guess my point is. To anyone reading this that’s questioning themselves the way I have I want you to know, I have fought long and hard to make it go away and be what society expects of me and what I found is that the pain of keeping her (your true self) from living is far greater than what any transphobe can inflict. Once you meet your “pain threshold” the societal mask will crack and she will finally see the light come pouring in. Don’t fight it. It’s not you it’s them (society). You are fine and deserve to live just and person and organism on this planet. Please stop questioning yourself. You are beautiful and your trans family needs you to see that. Everything is going to be ok and try to find happiness where you can. Life behind a mask is much more difficult, trust me on this.

That’s it. That’s the post.
I guess what worries me is that I could somehow logic or twist my thoughts so hard that I could believe I could be trans.
Or that if I’m not trans, then what are my excuses for how hard things feel for me in my body, life? Then I run out of reasonable root causes. That maybe somehow I’m just wrong. And inalienably different with no way to feel better.

I guess I hate to think I could get carried away with an idea.

If I am just cis, I feel at least like I am better for questioning. And I’ve walked away with a more complex relationship to gender. But still. I wish I wasn’t. Which I also know is absurd because being trans right now and in general also is really fucking hard. I just don’t know.

I am exhausted. I wish I could go back to not caring about how I look. But mostly I am tired of having to tell people I am trans and sheepishly coming out, not because I want to, but because half the people know me as my birth name and the other half my chosen name, and it has become a logistical nightmare trying to juggle two intersecting personas at once.

God I wish I was a pretty, feminine girl. I don't mind being tall and physically stronger than most, but God do I not like who I see in the mirror - I wish I was a mother to my daughters.

I get so jealous watching my eldest grow into such a beautiful woman, and I can't help but feel envious of my wife.

how did y'all handle transitioning? The idea of losing a significant portion of my social and professional networks terrify me. my in-laws are very much my found family, and the thought of losing them (and possibly my wife) paralyzes me.

I just don't know how y'all had the courage... I feel like my life would end if I started transitioning...

How do you all go about dating, I'm FTM non binary.

I'm confused what spaces to go to to date now. Before I was with the sapphic lesbian community but they will no longer find me attractive (or the majority won't).

Do you still go to queer spaces, are there any bi or pan spaces, or do you just shoot your shot with straight women and hope and pray they're not transphobic 😭

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lies-and-deception/202404/insights-from-research-of-teens-unhappy-with-their-gender

For context, my mom sent this to me a while ago as a way of saying that she thought that getting hrt while I'm below 18 is a suboptimal idea.

Edit: Here's the first study used in the article. https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2021.660746/full Here's the second study used in the article. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/378523584_Development_of_Gender_Non-Contentedness_During_Adolescence_and_Early_Adulthood

Hello,

I am mtf and my name is Charlotte I have some thinning on the top of my head and on particularly thin spot in the front third of the top of my head. I think it will force me to brush my hair in not feminine ways to hide it and I am wondering if anyone has some advice.

Sorry if this has been discussed a million times, but I really wanted to make this post.

I’m ftm(19). My parents hate hearing me say that I’m not female. They keep telling me “you’re female” and refuse to accept how I see myself. And they keep denying my identity as a guy and repeatedly telling me i’m a girl.

I still depend on them financially, and they’ve told me that if I say I’m not female again, I should go to the barber, shave all my hair off, and never come back home. They weren’t joking.

I realized I was trans when I was 17, now I’m 19. Sometimes I have these brief thoughts that maybe giving up on being ftm would make my life easier. But I know I can’t do that, because I can’t go back to that feeling I had for almost 17 years, knowing something felt wrong but not understanding what it was.

How did you deal with parents who don’t accept you? I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences.

I’m currently male (wanting to be mtf) and I’m 15 turning 16 (in Queensland) and I just found out that ,unless I want to go through private medical clinics, I have to wait until I’m 18 to start medically transitioning.

I’d usually be fine with going for the private medical clinic but since I need parental permission I’d have to tell my parents. While I am worried about what they think, I’m more worried about the price of private medical clinics because even if they do support me (unlikely) I don’t think they’ll like the price (even though I’ve made enough money to fund the whole or most of the process myself).

I’m also worried that when I turn 18 there’ll be too many irreversible changes and that I just won’t pass well or aswell as I could’ve. It’d be nice if I could at least get on t-blockers but those are also age restricted unless I’m 18. This is honestly just so fricking annoying.

Atleast on the positive side though if I’m 18 I don’t need to tell my parents? But I’d still prefer to tell them now instead of having to wait THREE FRICKING YEARS.

Is there anything I can do? Or will I just have to wait 3 years? I really don’t know if I can wait that long (I don’t have much dysphoria but the idea of waiting THAT long has me feeling a bit depressed/down). :(

I (F, 20) started experimenting with my gender around age 11. I always felt masculine on the inside, but I didn't have a word for it until I discovered the ftm community. Around this time I started imagining myself as male. It made me uncomfortable, but also I was drawn to it at the same time. It's like, on an intellectual level I want to be a guy and like the effects of testosterone, but it also gives me a pit in my stomach that I can only explain as dysphoria

For the past 10 years I've been imagining myself as male on and off, and that sick feeling never went away. I keep on wishing I could wake up and be ok with having male sex characteristics, but it never happens.

I don't know why I want to be a trans guy so bad if it gives me dysphoria. I'm probably a cis woman, but I just can't accept that fact.

are there any transmasc/ftm/ masc gender adjacent subreddits that aren't flooded with "do I pass?" questions. I'd like to be in a community with other trans guys without the constant bombardment of dudes who clearly pass (I am guilty of this, sorry) asking if they pass/for passing tips. Like, are there any chill ones? Im FTMfeminity and altftm but are there any others. Most I've poked my head into seem to be overran with worries about passing and any "general" trans subs here on reddit are mostly ladies (hi girls love you all!). I'm just trying to feel less isolated from other people like me know. Or any subreddits that are kinda trans nb heavy but not necessarily about being trans? Thanks ^_^

This is the first time I'm posting on/really using reddit since I don't really like it (manly cus of all the toxic things ive heard happen on it but i digress) I've had this post on my mind for a few years now because I was wondering what other people would think about my situation and I just now found this subrreddit and thought this would be a place to start at and see where it goes so here it is i guess (I do talk alot in this so sorry for the whole autobiography I wrote this is the first time im talking about this so I hope you'll still read it tho)

I've have had gender dysphoria for as long as I can remember but I have never told anyone about it or even mentioned it (until posting this thread ofc) manly because for a long time i didn't know what it was and bc I didn't know that there were others who knew the feelings I have so I kinda felt like a freak that had somthing thing wrong with me

it was never nearly as bad as it is now manly because growing up people couldn't tell if I was a boy or a girl and since I was always hanging out with boys and always considered "one of the guys" I was told/convinced that i was just a tomboy.

my dysphoria only started getting worse when puberty hit and what once made me feel equall to guys started to feel like a gap as I ofc was physically maturing but not in the way I wanted, I felt more physically sensitive (since growing boobs sucks and cus i couldn't take punches the same way/places i used to), more out of place in male involvement, and just overall getting uncomfortable being like a guy without a dik surrounding by other guys who did but it still was something I could ignore since I wasn't fully developed so it wasn't so noticeable but when covid rolled around that's when it REALLY started getting worse

By this point I couldn't hide the fact that I grew boobs or got a much more feminine physique so as you can imagine my self hate was skyrocketing since I was young, stuck at home, and didn't work out, all that was left was just me gaining some weight (my aunt kinda fattend me up to where I no longer had a thigh gap which wasn't by a crazy weight gain but it was still noticeable to me) which didn't help and is what really started making me self conscious about my appearance and giving me more thoughts about my dysphoria

I thought if i gave it enough time it would go away but since than I've only had more and more thoughts about it to the point where now it's a almost daily thing I think about and I low key start feeling so much resentment, anger, and hate from it if I let myself keep think on it for to long but on a brighter note because of it I have over the past few years started wearing clothes that I feel more comfortable in (manly things that hide my thighs and curves but the girls up top ain't easy to hide so I opt for tighter bras to help) which have helped but just doesn't let me ignore it like I used to

so nowadays literally everyone i know and meet think I'm a stud lesbian (which i think is very funny since I get the craziest reaction when i say im not a lesbian cus I've never had a crush on anyone so i wouldn't even know if i am or not but the queers and the straights all swear they see right through me and tell me things like the closet is glass so I guess they know somthing that I dont and can sniff it out but lol I do get a good chuckle out of it nonetheless)

Now for the main event, why am I not transitioning well it's a little complicated for me to explain since im still unsure about akit of it but for the most part i know that I am at the point where the only thing that could subside most of my dysphoria is bottom surgery but I dont like the idea of having almost no skin on one part of my body running the risk of damage and complications to fix another plus the expenses are way out of my reach

but if i did go through with it another probable for me is the fact that I could potentially want kids in the future now I HATE the idea of carrying a child in me and all the crap that comes with being a pregnant woman (and a woman in general) but the fact that that is the only way I could have kids that are biology related to me makes me a bit upset since I would have no probably having kids if I wasn't the one that had to go through labor and push em out (selfish i know but the idea of it and what I've seen woman go through for it kinda terrifies me and i just dont think I can mentally handle that like other woman can)

I think I've also been holding back on it because of the slim chance that one day I'll accept myself the way that I am, no longer have dysphoria and regret going through things like hormones and surgery as well as me being Christian it really clashes with my desire to follow the bible and also be happy with my physical body

I know that my family would be okay with it since they literally accept everyone (maybe not my Dad tho he might get a heart attack since hes one of those "girls dress like girls" kinda guy but hes not a big part of my life nor the best role modle to be frank) and my friends would probably be a little surprised but it would also kinda click for them as to why I'm so masculine as i do have some queer friends so that would also help I just don't want those relationships to feel weird or like im starting over with them and there's also the fact that my mom wanted me to be a girl as she's told me how she used to pray all the time for it so i really dont want to ruin that for her either

Im just in a place where if it affects others which I know it will in some way (either by getting used to the physical change or things like pronouns) I feel selfish since I always try to consider things from more than one point of view (especially the ones others may have) and go for the best option but with this i feel like either way I go I'm cooked so I've just decided to not transition as it has been the safer option to me but let me know what you guys think im really interested to hear what the trans community's thought are on my current stance

Also if you read all that thank you cus you didn't have to but it definitely helps me letting this out for the first time ever in my 18 years.

I don’t know if it is that gender dysphoria or what but I feel a strange pull to want to be a girl instead of a boy. But there are a few problems I’m still thinking about:
1. I still like girls romantically speaking.
2. I’m Christian and unsure if this would be frowned upon by my God.

And if I wanted this, and went through with it, where would I start? I’m 25 and only make 800 per month with no insurance.

Anyone got any thoughts? I’m open to discuss.

Me (M19) have been out and gay for years and have always been open about myself to everyone, it’s obvious I’m gay but there’s some that question if I’m trans, I grow my hair out long, act feminine and all. I understand that but then there’s times where I feel like a man but also times where I feel like I’m a girl.

I’ve come to call myself gender fluid right now but there’s times where I feel like I’d be so much better if I looked like a girl. I’ve currently become obsessed with Kim Petras and her look in brutalist the MV, I’m a large guy, chubby, stuff like that, but I’m not sure. Everytime I think about being trans or becoming a women I get this weird feeling in my stomach and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to feel. I honestly am not sure. I love the whole feminine and like clothing vibe. I love fashion, it’s not my hobby but I love thinking of outfits, and I don’t know.

I want to wait till I’m skinny, lose some weight and then see but idk…. I change my style so much, I’m now going into punk and rock clothes, I know that’s always been my vibe but being a plus sized person it’s always hard to find stuff that fits you as clothing and is connecting to your aesthetic.

I look at all my female friends, all the pretty girls out there and feel so envious and happy for them. But when I look at skinny guys I don’t feel like that.

Any ideas?

TW Transphobia

Pretty much what the title says. There's this newgrounds creator called "Sillypoo" who's genderqueer as far as I can tell and has some transmasc friends I think. However a lot of her content is about men dressing up as women to prey on little girls or women in general, most commonly like super conservative ass depictions of trans women, striped thigh highs, sometimes genuinely just trans flags in their rooms (not linking their content here, it's vile, but you can search for it yourself if you want). Is there a word for this? Someone who's only super transphobic to trans women? I mean it mirrors a lot of TERFs who focus on trans women far more but generally those guys hate trans men too and aren't also genderqueer. I'm asking if it's offensive and wrong to call this person a TERF, basically.