With Jimothy, the racoon with a congenital spine condition, in the news, I am really fascinated (yet again) with the outpouring of compassion for animals with disabilities. People are falling over themselves to immortalise him in crafts, particularly in the sewing and painting subs I am a member of.

I don't want to be immortalised in thread or paint, but I am really struck by the endless support and compassion people seem to have for animals with disabilities. So often you see pet owners going to the ends of the earth to ensure their pets have the medical care and equipment that they need. Society doesn't have that same compassion for people with disabilities, and the contrast is so jarring. Do you really need that equipment? You must be faking? You're a drain on society, etc, etc. I want people to have compassion for animals, I'm not saying that is wrong, I would just like a little bit of that compassion to extend to people with disabilities.

I've been his patient for several years with increasing levels of care and higher doses of meds needed for my depression. I finally broke down last session and asked if he would refer me to an Intensive Outpatient program because I woke up every day not wanting to be here anymore. I pay for short term disability insurance through my job and asked him if he would sign my SD paperwork and he made some excuse and said that the "intake for the outpatient program would handle that".

Now I'm being told there is a several week waiting list for the outpatient program and he is refusing to sign my paperwork himself because "we don't sign people out of work just for being depressed. They have to be in some kind of program".

I feel completely betrayed by him and really hopeless about trying to fight through this process when I don't even have the energy to eat and get dressed every day.

I am a 36M, who is married to a 34F. She is my "primary" caretaker. I have an incredibly aggressive form of MS. I was diagnosed in 2020, my mobility dropped rapidly. My reduced mobility caused me to have to PE, one of which actually killed me (I was dead for 96 second.) Now, i have extreme weakness in all of my limbs making me functionally paraplegic.

Both my wife and I still work full time jobs (i work from home.) Because of how much effort it is to get me out of the house, it only happens when i have a doctors appointment. This means, it is often weeks or months in between when i leave the house.

Except for the people i work with, i have no communication with anyone else. I have no friends and no Family to speak of, so she is all i have. My wife comes home from work and takes a 3-4 hour nap because she is so mentally exhausted.

Does anyone else just feel trapped in life? I mean i am very lucky, because i lived a very full life before the age of 30, but now it has just come to a screeching halt.

I already am in counselling, i'm just curious if i am the only one who feels like this?

I have a few, but was just thinking about one that inspired this question.

I am a cis woman and my girlfriend is trans. She prefers very feminine women. Because of various health issues, I can only be comfortable these days wearing comfortable, loose tops and shorts. The only ones I can find and afford give me a decidedly butch air. My girlfriend is struggling with her attraction to me partly because I can't wear cute clothes anymore. It doesn't help that I can't shower as often as I need to, so my hair gets greasy and I smell. (I finally buckled and bought a bunch of those bathing wipes to use in between showers, but I hope to gods she never walks in on me using them. I can only imagine how *that* image will affect her attraction.)

Compared to the disability itself, it's a small thing. But it just feels like... Why? You took away my ability to shower standing up, why do you have to take this too?

I'm fully ambulatory but I live with debilitating, treatment resistant and mysterious chronic foot pain that makes leaving my home difficult and holds me back so much.

In an ideal world I'd get myself a Zeen but they are only available in the USA and I highly doubt I'd be able to get coverage through ODSP even if they did sell to Canada. So I'm strongly considering a wheelchair for shopping and traveling on public transportation and getting out of the house.

But my family is extremely against it because they are afraid that my legs will stop working and I'll become dependent on the chair if I started to use one despite me telling them over and over that I won't even be using it all the time...only in scenarios where I'm normally on my feet a lot.

I need to convince them because they will likely be helping to pay for it.

I have an acquired incomplete SCI. I have realised I can't go back to my career the way I want to and need to find a new way to fulfil myself.

If you had an intense or fast paced job which you had to give up what do you do now to fill the gap outside work? Lawyers, nurses, finance bros, sales people, military, I need your help.

I don't have kids, am not interested in academia, but need to find something mentally challenging and VERY competitive to fill the gap.

That's something I sometimes do. I don't have a daily routine for the most days, because all days have different energy levels available and different adult-things need to be done.

I thought I wanted to share this because I'm sure someone can relate and maybe won't feel bad if they know:

you are not alone.

Taking a shower can be a task that needs the energy of a whole day, or more. Maybe you were able to unload the dishwasher or open your post instead of using this same energy to change your clothes.

You are doing your best

You are love worthy

(And yes, it's not only my t-shirt I've been wearing since 61 Hours)

I have been disabled my entire life, but my disabilities unexpectedly became exponentially worse upon moving out at age 18. My parents are insistent on me retaining my independence, so not much help from there. It just really sucks having to grapple with such awful problems when I haven't even established myself in life yet. If I were older and already finished with college, I could find a sit-down job with my degree. If I were younger and still in high-school, my parents would help me start finding diagnoses and treatment before I move out. But instead I am right in the middle, and I am forced to work an excruciating food service job at minimum wage that hurts me, on top of going to college full time.

It just really sucks. I'm so tired and symptomatic all the time, and there's not much I can do to fix it. My doctors don't even know what's wrong with me yet, I only just got a referral to rheumatology this week after half a decade of trying to get answers. I wish I could get a job that worked for me, or I wish I could live with my parents again while I figure this all out.

curious about this. has anyone done emdr for their medical trauma? how did that go, did if affect your health in any way?

To those applying for disability....don't quit. There's so much I don't have to worry about anymore (mainly my body not working) I'm just thinking about all the mornings I got up for work and had to look presentable, the way my apartment would look when I was in pain, or depressed. The way I hated my life and just wanted to die.

Sure I'm still in a lot of pain,but I'm on my couch drinking My water and smoking my medical weed just feeling free and grateful for not quitting.

So don't quit. And I went THROUGH IT with the process so it wasn't an easy achievement for me. That's all

So tomorrow I have a driving test. Where I live, there are 3 tests you have to take. The first is the written test, then the second test that tests you on parking and driving on residential streets, and then the one I have tomorrow that's for main roads and highways.

I have autism, learning disabilities, and ADHD. I've gone through multiple instructors and have failed this third test 3 times already. Tomorrow will be my fourth and last attempt as my license has expired and the 40 day extension I got on it is about to expire so if I fail I will have to start the whole process with the two previous tests all over again.

It's taken me over 5 years just to learn driving maneuvers that take others just a few months. My poor visual spatial skills and slow processing speed are the main things that make driving especially challenging for me. That being said, if I don't pass this test tomorrow that'll be it because I don't have the money or patience to start this whole process all over again.

I'm 24F and lately I've been really wanting a relationship but I know it's already a turn off to people that I don't have a job even though I'm trying to get one and don't plan on dating until I'm working anyway. However, if I'm not able to drive is that going to be a major turn off to people? For those of you on here that can't or don't drive what has dating been like?

I struggle with fine motor control of my hands, fingers, arms, etc. I CAN’T for the life of me click on the stupid x to close the pop up ads! I HATE it, they’re all so ableist. I always open the damn page or App Store. They are so tiny, unresponsive, and the box around the x always opens whatever page or store.

They also hide the x and with my eyesight I struggle with colour contrast and I can never even see them. It’s always light grey x on a white page.

Also they are so LOUD! Ugh!

Fuck ads!

HOW DO YOU DO IT?

Right now we live with MIL but can’t stay here forever. We (hubby and kiddos) will need to move eventually but I need to start planning out how I’m going to realistically manage this alone one day, because he’ll need to be at work. So…tips? Tricks? Suggestions?

(Side note, school/daycare is not an option)

Going on vacation with my family and my sister's family. Sister suggested I rent a mobility scooter so I can join The other three adults and the five kids when they do bike rides etc. went to a store today and was introduced to the ultralight foldable power chairs. Overall more convenient than mobility scooters. Easier to transport and much more agile.

Not loving the 3K price tag. Some Amazon knockoff options are under 1K.

Alternatively I could buy a cheap $500 mobility scooter or rent one for $300 at the destination area.

This is the one I checked out at the store that was definitely very convenient - and a bit less expensive at the store then here on Amazon. https://a.co/d/0bgPX2kV.

I am about 5'9 and 160 lb.

Any suggestions or words of wisdom?

You'll say that it's not my disability that is keeping me single but my attitude but I've seen garbage dudes attract women they don't deserve just because they had the ability to drive and pick them up and were able to make being around them not be a burden because they're functioning adults with options instead of being held back by mobility issues..

please tell me scenarios where you, a non-working non-driving disabled person attracted someone that is conventionally good looking and could have been with anyone but they chose you with all your problems.. and honestly if you're female and tell me about your husband that loves you no matter what and drives you everywhere and doesn't care if you don't work I'm going to assume that he liked the way you looked and you liked that he was a capable person and weren't in danger of being alone your whole life unless you chose to be because dating is and always has been entirely transactional.. prove me wrong please.. I'm transitioning now so the males point of view doesn't really apply to me anymore since now I'm giving people a whole new reason not to choose me but I do want to hear the disabled male point of view on dating and if there's anyone here that some how won the lottery in finding an 'attractive" partner despite so many obstacles...if you're trans and disabled and found a partner I want to hear from you too..

Feel free to tell me I need therapy.. I'm aware and in therapy now and will be telling her about this tomorrow. I've been trying so hard to find a way to love myself and I'm failing.. I can't imagine being happy alone long term like this. What is there to be happy about being single your whole life? Help me see the purpose of it please..Ive been told I'm good at smiling but really there's nothing behind it besides longing and waiting pain and frustration.

What were you doing when you met the person that chose you.. where, how and when.. what did you say? I can't see 6 feet in front of my face and only have a vague idea of what's happening around me when I go anywhere because of my vision and I refuse to approach people that I can't see without being able to read a room... What would you do with that? I'm simultaneously shallow about appeances without being able to see shit or offer shit. I'm going to be so alone.. I want my cake and I want to eat it too. Any effort I put in my appearance is entirely tied to the idea that maybe this will be the thing that makes someone notice me.. I put a lot of time and care into myself but for what though..I'm tired of losing and i want a win...

Reply rudely to this and I will block without thinking about it or taking in your message at all..I feel no fucking shame and you can't hurt me worse then I hurt myself..I'm soon to be 36, I have lived and soul searched and it keeps bringing me right back here again.. I think people that say they are content going through life alone are lying to themselves or coping somehow.. there's just no way.. please prove me wrong on that too if you can.

I posted in r/disabled earlier when I meant to post here. I'm trying to win the most unhinged post on reddit award today. TLDR: I'm lonely and miserable and making it everyone else's problem... again.. I do this periodically like being pitiful is my hobby

Sorry if this post is ranty and incoherent I’m kinda in crisis mode. I don’t have a diagnosis yet but my doctors think I (19F-he/they) have an autoimmune disease. But I can’t get medicine for it if the test doesn’t show anything and I haven’t gotten any calls. And otc meds don’t work. I’m in so much pain I literally can’t sit up for more than two minutes. Lying down hurts. I can’t focus on things anymore because the pain is bad. I can’t get a job so I have no income. I’ve never had a job because I’ve always been sick. I limp everywhere. I genuinely don’t know what to do.

Bit of a personal one. I used to be able to walk, and when that changed the thing that hit me hardest honestly wasn't the practical side of it. It was noticing how differently people were with me. Same people, different energy around me.

Then I got on the dating apps and it was the exact same thing all over again.

I'm 24 and I'm just curious whether anyone else here has felt that same shift, or if it's just me. What's the bit you find hardest about the apps? Whether you put it in your profile or not, people going quiet the second they know, meeting up somewhere that actually turns out to be accessible. Whatever it is for you.

Would really like to hear how it's been for you.

I have had three psych hospital stays and 9 or more failed jobs

I'm scared of being denied. I cannot work at all my episodes are so bad my depression leaves me neglecting my basic needs , twisted hair. Stinky pits. my mania leaves me delusional, thinking I'll sell out an art gallery. when I'm really throwing out my wallet. my autism always leaves me slightly confused .

overall, I'm really just afraid of becoming homeless. my parents aren't getting any younger. I need this.

Every day I have this crushing pressure of expectation and comparison, like I'm doing life wrong and need to be doing more and figuring out some way to live the way everyone around me expects me to live which basicaly means to live like them, to live the cookie cutter life that's expected of all of us, that we're all conditioned for.

It's so exhausting and I realized this when I was thinking about a youtuber who spends his time playing video games and editing and stuff And he says it's not some easy job like everyone thinks, he puts so much time into editing and it's something a lot of youtubers he has known will give up on or say that they hate doing it because they have to stream and act like they want to be there every day when they don't. But I still thought, this is a life path outside of the norm, that other people would misunderstand, think too highly of, or even look down on, and yet this guy I'm talking about is happy and has really owned the fact that this is what he does with his time, the way he lives his life, and he is comfortable with himself and his life.

The difference is he has a clear sense of self and narrative. I don't know what my life narrative is. Nobody ever understood me. They expected me to be normal and I can't be. So all there is is this sense that I still "should" be able to, and the sense that eveyrone is disappointed in me and views me as a burden among other judgments. But I don't actually do anything except struggle to support myself alone, feeling burnt out every day wishing for more. The "more" just isn't going to come through the path everyone has been trying to force me on my whole life. But then what does it look like? The reality is that I can't work, and I barely manage on my own as it is so expecting myself to do more on my own and "pull myself up by my bootstraps" would be the same abusive mentality that traumatized me throughout life thus far. So now what?

There are some things I need to work on accepting but accepting "your life is just a dead end, there's nothing you can do but continue to sufer and feel this empty until you die because you cannot fit in with this world," is too painful. But maybe it's true?