Went shopping for shorts today and I'm *really* fighting ED/BD triggers. It's bad. (This post doesn't really center around ED, but I figured it's better to be overly cautious with the flair. I also make mention of specific size. *Please* understand that my perspective is not that of a completely mentally well person.)

No matter how hard I try and how much I prepare and talk myself up, I always end up crushed over the sizes that don't fit me. Specifically, the fact that I'm bigger now (at almost 40) than I was in my early 20's - when I had terrible BD, engaged in exercise bulimia, and was constantly exhausted. Looking back on photos, *I know I don't want to be that thin again.* I looked tired. I had no muscle mass.

I suppose it doesn't help that I'm short (5'3") and my torso is pretty rectangular, even at my thinnest. Still, when I was younger, I wore a size 6 jean (which were uncomfortable if I was even a little bloated; probably should've been in an 8). Maybe my hips are sort of wide for my height, I don't know, but I was too thin at that size.

Now, nearing 40, I tried on a pair of shorts in a 10 and they barely buttoned. I'm so embarrassed to say that it sent me into a really bad mental state. I didn't even search for a bigger pair - I couldn't deal.

And I recently lost a little weight! I don't know how much - I don't weigh myself - but it's enough to see it in my face, my clothes fit better, and I'm buying a smaller size in letter-sized clothing. I'm really bloated today thanks to hormones, but even if I weren't, those shorts wouldn't fit.

I know it's ridiculous to compare middle-aged me with college-aged me. I know it is. And I'm so, so embarrassed to be feeling this way at my age.

I guess I just came here to vent. I don't have anyone to talk to about this. My partner would have the same bone-headed (I say that lovingly) response most men would, I don't have any close female friends (not on purpose, I just don't have many friends at all), and, well... I have my mother to thank for this feeling to begin with. Anyway, thanks for reading.

I suspect some of my perspective has been amplified by certain life factors (severe abandonment issues, diagnosed OCD).. however, in general I have tried to come to terms with the fact that I don’t have that attractive of a body type, by both societal and “biological” standards. Unfortunately, my disdain for myself has often left me bedridden and fearful to leave the house. I have been in therapy, tried different meds, try to eat more satiating meals, see an herbalist and go to the gym. But every day is still so frightening to me, and I think “I would hate for anyone to see me!” I would like any advice, especially anything “unorthodox” or unique that has helped you personally. I know I’ll never love everything about my body, but I’d like to be able to at least tolerate it so I can go back to living in my purpose..

Thanks!

This is our weekly Feel Good Friday post.

Tell us about what's made you feel good this week. What's put a smile on your face? What's boosted your confidence?

As always, comments must follow the rules of this sub. Comments that break the rules will be removed.

(before reading, please don’t take this as me hating on anyone with a similar body type. i’m just venting. i’ve been dealing with mild body dysmorphia for 10+ years.)

i’m 23F, 5’2, and skinny. the only thing i really like about my body is that i’m skinny, and sometimes my legs look nice in skirts. that’s about it. i’m a black woman with no curves, so i feel like genetics really didn’t do me any favors. if i was white or asian, i honestly don’t think i’d think about it nearly as much. sometimes it almost feels like i don’t fit the beauty standard of my own race.

i really wish i had curves like other girls. i genuinely feel like i have the body of a 12 year old. i’ve tried going to the gym, eating healthier, training glutes, hips, abs, legs, all of it. nothing really changes my shape. i struggle to eat enough food or protein to gain weight due to my depression affecting my eating habits. even if i did, i know i can’t just choose where it goes. i know you can’t spot treat certain areas or expect dramatic changes, but it’s still so frustrating.

sometimes i genuinely think that if my self image never improves, i’ll probably end up getting some kind of hip dip or hip bbl surgery one day. i don’t even care about having a huge butt. i literally just want hips. an hourglass figure…i hate feeling completely flat from every angle. over the years i’ve bought multiple pairs of hip pad shorts just so i could wear skirts and dresses without feeling ugly.

on top of that, i’ve barely got boobs or an ass either. i don’t even care that much about being flat chested, but damn… why couldn’t my genetics at least give me wider hip bones?

i feel so insecure in anything that’s tight fitting because it shows how rectangular my body is. i dress alt/goth most of the time, so i mostly rely on flare skirts, corsets, and styling tricks to create more shape. i can actually feel really pretty when i’m fully styled, but that’s the thing. it’s ONLY when i’m styled.

i wish i could throw on literally anything and not spend the entire time wondering if people are noticing my body shape. there are so many clothes i’ve bought online because they looked amazing on the model, only to put them on and realize they look completely different on me because i somehow convinced myself they’d translate to my body the same way.

it takes me forever to get ready for anything important because i’m constantly changing outfits, taking clothes on and off, and overanalyzing how my body looks. i’ve been late to so many things because i couldn’t decide what looked acceptable. it makes me want to cry..

it also doesn’t help that social media constantly shows me beautiful, curvy, skinny women with model bodies. i know there’s angles, lighting, posing, editing, and exercise involved, but at the end of the day, i still see a body type that i personally find more attractive than my own. i catch myself feeling jealous and insecure all the time. i want to be happy for other girls celebrating their bodies without having to compare my own body to theirs.

for anyone else with a similar body shape, how did you learn to accept it? what actually helped? do people really care if a woman, especially a black woman, isn’t curvy?

Welcome to the r/BodyAcceptance Weekly Body Dissatisfaction Post for talking about your negative feelings about your body. This post will be created every Monday.

As this is a support sub, people may offer advice. If you would prefer to rant without getting advice, please start your comment with [RANT ONLY]. Others are asked to respect that the commenter does not want advice.

Important: Please read if you're feeling suicidal or that you may harm yourself.

Why does this post exist?

All comments must follow the rules of this sub.

Hi everyone, am 27yo, but when i look at my body i feel like am 80, i usee to be chubby then i devoloped some bad eating habits, and lost weight so fast,

So my body doesn't hold itself together at all, i try to exercices whenever i can but often times when i ger home am so exausted because i work as an ingineer so ap always on the move, i kind of hate myself and feel like noone will ever love me,

Am also now started push8ng everyone away, because i feel like at least i could have some control over the fact that am alone,

Has anyone gotten through what al getting through are there any advices (please dont say love yourself, i know its important but i curently canr do that)

I know it’s not a unique experience to have bad body image days, but I am hoping for some advice. I tried on a dress yesterday and have been picking myself apart since. Usually I would just try to ignore that voice and it would eventually go away, but in a few days I’m doing my first wedding dress fitting and I’m worried the negative self talk will continue there. Any advice? I have 4 days until my fitting and I have not tried this dress in since September. Luckily I did buy the exact dress I tried on so there shouldn’t be anything crazy with the fit

This is our weekly Feel Good Friday post.

Tell us about what's made you feel good this week. What's put a smile on your face? What's boosted your confidence?

As always, comments must follow the rules of this sub. Comments that break the rules will be removed.

What do you think of breast asymmetry? Like two or three cup differences. I have heard a lot of people talk about how their partners didn’t care. Is this affliction common?

Welcome to the r/BodyAcceptance Weekly Body Dissatisfaction Post for talking about your negative feelings about your body. This post will be created every Monday.

As this is a support sub, people may offer advice. If you would prefer to rant without getting advice, please start your comment with [RANT ONLY]. Others are asked to respect that the commenter does not want advice.

Important: Please read if you're feeling suicidal or that you may harm yourself.

Why does this post exist?

All comments must follow the rules of this sub.

This is our weekly Feel Good Friday post.

Tell us about what's made you feel good this week. What's put a smile on your face? What's boosted your confidence?

As always, comments must follow the rules of this sub. Comments that break the rules will be removed.

I'd like to go on dates, but I'm really scared because I'm chubby. For reference, I wear a US size 12/ a Europe size 44 in bottoms and a medium to large in tops. I do think I have some features that people might find attractive, like wide hips and a butt that stands out, but I don't have a very defined waist, I have a noticeable belly, chubby arms and a bit of a double chin. Those are the things that make me feel like no one could be attracted to me.

I know that on dating apps it's best to include full-body pictures so that there are no surprises, and I do have a couple of full-body mirror selfies, but I feel like I look slimmer in those pictures than in real life, so I don't feel like posting them protects me from being rejected because of my body.

My biggest fear is meeting someone and having them humiliate me for my body. And even if they didn't say anything directly about my body, it would still hurt if they rejected me because I'd feel like it was because of the way I look.

I'd say my face is pretty average, although several people who weren't my friends have told me they thought I was gorgeous and have flirted with me. But since I've been chubby, I've only kissed and slept with one person. To be fair, it's not like I had loads of experience before either. I've only hooked up with two people in total before I became chubby, compared to one since. But I do feel like I got more attention when I was slimmer.

I have a above average long 6+ with a 4.7 thin(1.5wide) member. Statistically it's about average but the girls saying they need thick ones absolutely kills me.

Edit- Thank you for everyone who gave positive answers.

Welcome to the r/BodyAcceptance Weekly Body Dissatisfaction Post for talking about your negative feelings about your body. This post will be created every Monday.

As this is a support sub, people may offer advice. If you would prefer to rant without getting advice, please start your comment with [RANT ONLY]. Others are asked to respect that the commenter does not want advice.

Important: Please read if you're feeling suicidal or that you may harm yourself.

Why does this post exist?

All comments must follow the rules of this sub.

This is our weekly Feel Good Friday post.

Tell us about what's made you feel good this week. What's put a smile on your face? What's boosted your confidence?

As always, comments must follow the rules of this sub. Comments that break the rules will be removed.

Welcome to the r/BodyAcceptance Weekly Body Dissatisfaction Post for talking about your negative feelings about your body. This post will be created every Monday.

As this is a support sub, people may offer advice. If you would prefer to rant without getting advice, please start your comment with [RANT ONLY]. Others are asked to respect that the commenter does not want advice.

Important: Please read if you're feeling suicidal or that you may harm yourself.

Why does this post exist?

All comments must follow the rules of this sub.

I am a woman at 5'3" and I have a pretty balanced build but my arms are proportionately much larger. Larger to the extent that I've never seen a woman with my proportions before.

My wrists are 7" in diameter, my hands are about 7" long and about 3.75" wide. This part of my body is an absolute unit meanwhile the rest of me is actually on the more petite side. I don't have broad shoulders, I have a narrow frame overall.

Guys often say negative things about this on dates so I'm not really into dating (I'm 33).

But yea I get manicures now which helps me. ND I'm going to start swimming. I remember feeling like I was a fast swimmer and now I know why! I'm also a very good guitar player. It's irritating when people will come up to me to say how big my hands are after playing, but I need to just learn to have a good comeback like " that's a weird thing to say".

I have a very hard time accepting this difference. I've heard negative comments about this since I was a kid and it really doesn't get easier. People generally say it when I'm enjoying myself and ik the moment too like dancing or having fun doing something. It really takes you out of the moment.

But I can't change that about myself

My mom strangely has the same exact body (including hands and all) as me but she said no one has ever said anything negative about hers and she doesn't have a complex.

This is our weekly Feel Good Friday post.

Tell us about what's made you feel good this week. What's put a smile on your face? What's boosted your confidence?

As always, comments must follow the rules of this sub. Comments that break the rules will be removed.

We know how tempting it is to want to try to explain things to trolls and jerks and bigots, but please don't. You cannot fix them. To quote a meme seen somewhere, "You are not the [dingbat] whisperer."

Just hit the report button. The mods will come and make the BS go away.

I have been having a mental break down because my sister decided I had to wear a white crop top that says maid of honor all day. We will be out all day, on a scenic cruise, bars, the amusement park. I have a large chest and I hate tight fitting clothing. She has never seen me wear a crop top so I don't know why she did this to me. My photo will be taken all day and I will be visibly uncomfortable.

Hey all!

I noticed lately I have had moments of hyper-fixation around fitness and body image. For example, about a week ago I ended up on this fitness blog that gave explanations of the most attractive body weight and muscle tone for women (according to men). The blog discussed the results — with pictures and explanations about what percentages of men found what size woman attractive. And originally I was trying to reassure myself, I think, but I ended up reading this material for hours on end. Scrolling and scrolling, definitely obsessing. About how close or far away I am from this proposed ideal and how I should work out to get there.

And then tonight, I saw a video of Megan Thee Stallion, on Facebook, and that kicked me off. I had this thought that her body was perfect, and then I was just scrolling and scrolling for hours, not even looking at her workout routine or whatever. Just staring at her body and its proportions and fixating on how perfect I thought it was. And in the back of my mind, I think, how I don’t have her body and…idk I just couldn’t stop looking at it. I wasn’t upset or sad, but I was stuck. I kept thinking, “this is unhealthy. You’re obsessing. Stop.” But then I didn’t know how to stop.

Is anyone familiar with this phenomenon? Do you know what would help me get out of these loops?

I used to be so weird about posting pics where my body looked too curvy or too soft or just… noticeable lol.

Like I’d take a photo, actually feel cute for 2 seconds, then immediately zoom in and start judging every little thing. My hips, my thighs, my stomach, how I looked from the side, all of it.

I’m 20 and I’m honestly tired of feeling like my body has to look smaller or more “clean girl pilates” to be acceptable. I work out, I take care of myself, but my body is still naturally curvy. I have shape. I have softness. I have thighs that are not going anywhere apparently 😭

And lately I’ve been trying to see that as something pretty instead of something I need to hide.

I still have insecure days, obviously. But sometimes I look in the mirror and I’m like… wait, maybe I actually look good? Maybe I don’t need to shrink myself to be confident?

So yeah, this is me trying to let myself be seen without overthinking it for once.
Trying to accept that my body can be soft, strong, feminine, and still worth showing up as.