36 here. I have a job, but not career "worthy" and not much earning potential in the long run.

Now, I'm thinking, if I want to be mature about it, I should deal with the fact that's my job and not much can be done to change that... Is it what we call settling down and be an adult? Deal with the choices I have made in the last 20 years?

Or would you invest the money toward learning a marketable skill (in US)?

I heard you can live on $20K/yr there even without working. Let's say also that you enjoy learning new languages.

If you think $600k isn't enough, how much would it take?

PS: So nobody would learn a trade or go back to school?

I'm not a violent person. When I was a prepubescent little shit maybe, but I grew out of it. Just 30 minutes ago, I wrapped my mother up and put her into a body bag so the funerary service could bring her to the funeral home. I feel like the little boy again who needs to punch a hole in the nearest wall and kick and scream and fight the world to feel like he controls something. The one who would be curled into a ball after throwing a stapler at a teacher. I swear I'm not a violent person. I don't remember the last time I felt this way. What the hell do I do? I miss my mom.

Ironically at 38 I feel like I care less about it as I did when I was in my 20's. I remember being so terrified and anticipating it in my 20's and nothing actually happened. I'm actually still surprised how full my hair is closing in on 40. Still, I'm not getting too confident and think it's actually coming sooner than later.

Edit: Thanks to all of you for such great responses and info. I didnt think there would so many genuine posts. I'll follow up with pics when its all said and done 😉

I have a consultation with a urologist coming up and im a little anxious about having this procedure done. I know its been done millions of times but I also know 2 guys thay had really bad and long lasting pain when they got theirs. Any questions i should be asking the doctor that aren't obvious? Any long term negatives concerning sex?

Hello all, my brother passed and I was doing fine handling the pain but suddenly a huge wave of sadness and grief has overwhelmed me and I decided to go see an old childhood friend to reach out on how he was doing and maybe get together in person and reconnect, as I know he was in a similar situation because both of his parents had passed as a kid and had no siblings so he was raised by his grandmother but I hadn’t talked to him in 3 years and I just found out he passed away within those three years that i didnt talk to him. Makes me reflect upon my self now. And how these things suddenly happen. Wish I stayed in touch with him. Damn. Been a dreadful day. When I thought i was doing better.. it all hurts and hits me again.. what do you all do in these moments? Looking for some good advice, energy, vibes etc. Smoking tree to help ease the pain currently, so stoners to chat are welcome too. Thanks!

I’m trying to get some outside perspective on how much I’m currently carrying, because I think I may be underestimating it.

I recently started a demanding new job in a completely new environment, with a lot to learn and pressure to perform. Shortly after starting, I found out my mum’s terminal cancer had progressed and the doctors were giving her only weeks to live.

Since then, I’ve been trying to keep working while travelling between cities, spending time with my mum, helping with her financial and legal affairs, supporting my sister with practical matters, and dealing with some difficult family dynamics.

At the same time, I’m a husband and father of three young kids, so I’m also trying to stay present for my wife and children and keep normal family life moving.

Somehow, I’m still getting up, working, attending meetings and handling what needs to be handled. But I can feel the strain showing in other areas. My fitness has dropped off, I’m eating more fast food and comfort snacks, my energy is lower, and I feel emotionally and mentally exhausted.

I’m not looking for sympathy. I’m genuinely curious how other people would view this level of pressure. Sometimes I look at everything happening at once and can’t believe I’m still getting out of bed and carrying on.

Im turning 30 in a few hours but tbh I have already felt 30 mentally and biologically for a couple years now.

I (28M) have been the one ordering my father's medicines online for a long time. I don't mind helping, but it has gradually become my responsibility instead of just helping out.

The medicines need to be carefully sorted once they arrive, which is something my mother usually does. She doesn't enjoy it and often feels like she's being treated like a maid who has to be ready to sort all the stuff that comes her way.

The last time I ordered the medicines, the delivery driver called me because my phone number was on the order (he doesn't even order using his phone) . I was out for a run and couldn't properly guide him to our house. It turned into an unnecessary argument with the delivery driver, while my father stayed home the entire time and he didn't get involved. My mother ended up receiving the medicines and sorting everything.

Today, my father found a local pharmacy that could supply the medicines. Instead of ordering them himself while he was there, he came home and told me to send the prescription to the shop. When the pharmacist called, my father immediately handed me the phone so I could explain our address. Then I was expected to go to the pharmacy, create a customer membership, and pay for the medicines.

I refused and told him that since he had already found the pharmacy and was capable of going there himself, he could complete the process on his own instead of automatically expecting me to handle everything.

AITA for refusing?

Hey there,

My name is Zac and I am a current psychology honours student at Federation University Australia.

The moderators have generously allowed me to share a research project looking at how individual personality traits interact with short-form social media feeds (specifically simulating TikTok content exploring modern online subcultures, gender roles, and societal dynamics).

Who can participate:
Open to anyone over the age of 18 who is fluent in English.

What’s involved:
A 20-30 minute interactive study where you will complete a few personality measures and watch a simulated 15 video feed (some of which may include potentially confronting or offensive content related to social and political issues).

The Link: 
https://federation.syd1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_4ZrUUEJudrbnMJE

Incentive: 
Participants can choose to enter an optional prize draw to win one of two $20 (aud) Prezzee gift vouchers to a store of your choice. 

Upon completion (around end of November 2026), I will share the results and key findings from the study. 

If there are any questions about the study itself, please ask away!

Participation is voluntary and completely anonymous.

Federation University Ethics reference number 2026-108

Realized ive taken my body for granted and I'd like to push it to its potential now (whatever that look like at 30). ive been semi sedentary/ semi fit for most of my life. Never had abs but looked decently in shape and just skated on by with that. Metabolism isnt the same as it was I'm holding more fat now burning it off less than before. just looking for motivation from you guys, Has anyone gotten stronger and faster since your 20s?

I'm 32 years old. Never taken anything like it.

I workout, meditate, eat clean, get outside, read, all these kind of healthy habits we're told to do.

I'm in therapy, I do EMDR and IFS which this has been incredibly helpful.

I have extreme CPTSD from my childhood growing up. It's changed the way I navigate Earth. I'm very isolated. I don't hang out with anyone. I don't have family. I earn below minimum wage working for myself online as I can't imagine being in a workforce. I ruminate. I live in a state of survival mode, hypervigilant, inner critic. Fight, flight, freeze responses. Very Freezey!

But then also parts of me gets outside to run and swim in the ocean and I'm happy then. I can sleep pretty well. I can be crying with laughter by myself at a film or even reading comments online lol.

So it's not like a 100% depressive rut but doctor is recommending I try Sertraline.

Honestly I've never gone down that road as I am concerned they'll mess me up more. Also in my mind I think about being "natural", then being on it for life or something, I never been addicted to anything but like relying on a medication but I guess if it was a heart condition or something you wouldn't bat an eye lid if someone needed meds. I dunno maybe at this point I need it is what I'm thinking.

But I do want a more loving life. I want to have community. I want to meet people. I want to one day have a partner and have children. A family. Extended family. Etc.

Just posting the question for anyone out there with experience. There is clearly people on both sides.

A big thought of mine is. Maybe the stress/depression/social isolation is far worse for me than the potential upside of taking meds?

Hello all. I'm sure I'm not the only one in this situation, so I'm genuinely curious: How do you learn to connect with other men?

I grew up on the edge of a city where the majority of kids in my development were girls. Between this, and having other boys not like me for who-knows-why, I have only had women as friends for the last 30 years. I get along with them easily, I'm open emotionally, and I engage in activities that tend to have more of a female audience (writing, cooking, reading, art, music, etc). How can I learn to make more male friends? Why do I struggle with it?

I have a job opportunity in parents hometown. I am 40 years old. Financially ok. Struggling with depression and an autoimmune disease on top of extreme lonliness. Parents are in their 70s and have opened their home as a place to move to as I focus on healing. The job pays a little less but I can make it work. It would gove me more time to focus on myself, taking care of parents, and being closer to friends. Anybody ever move back in with parents and if so, how did it go? Thoughts on my plan?

I had a tough week and noticed I really let my self fall mentally for bit, so I’m wondering how I can strengthen myself.

2 nights ago, I cried and just really thought about the bullshit in my life. And it really got to me. Usually I’m just in autopilot, so tough to gauge things.

Realized I still have ton of issues swept under rug

I’d want people to be completely honest here. I’m extremely curious to know how superficial people are when it comes to making friends. Do you gravitate to more attractive people? Why? Do you not care what other guys look like and you will give anyone a chance? Do you gravitate towards other people who look like you? I’d honestly be open to a DM if your stance is somewhat more superficial just so you can explain your point if you don’t feel like commenting. I feel like a post like this would help other people understand maybe why they get ghosted or don’t get responses. We’re just talking friends here.

Im too poor to go to therapy but I probably really need it. Can yall just post things that your therapist has said to you that really made a difference for you?

Im just really struggling mentally. Im married with no kids (no plans for them). Im struggling to find a purpose and drive in life. I dont really have friends, I just like to golf and fish when im not at work.

I say "underserved", because I just realized today that that's what it is. I'm very happily married and have been so for around a decade, and I'm NOT looking for anything else...at the same time, whenever I see a pretty woman I find myself thinking "it'd be really nice to chat with her and get to know her more and maybe even get physically close (just hugging, nothing more)". I'm SUPER loyal, so this has always been a challenge for me, and just today I realized that I probably feel this need of "undeserved" female attention because my mother has a REALLY hard time giving me love/attention (I don't think she's capable of it, tbh, I've tried but have been burnt out the past 2 years or so, so now I don't try anymore). 

I also say "undeserved" because my wife gives me a LOT of attention and time and shows me that she REALLY desires me in all sorts of ways, but I still can't shake this feeling of wanting attention from "random" women, because with my wife I have to deserve her love; yeah, it's unconditional, but we all know that a marriage works because of the effort put into it, so in a sense it IS "conditional". And maybe it's my imagination, but I feel like love/attention from a random woman I meet at a gym/bar would be more "unconditional", kinda like a friend.

How often do you take a day off from work just to decompress and escape from meetings, answering emails, and deadlines?

I’m 24, just graduated as an electrical engineer, in my first job making 70k a year. Everyone right now is in Europe, or at the stampede (Calgary) or in Japan having the time of their lives on instagram. Meanwhile I’m just working paying off debts and investing. How are people my age managing to travel, save, invest? Is there something I’m doing wrong?