1. I hope my sona is welcome here. ^v^

2. before anyone asks, this was recent events and I am now %100 talking to a pro about the subject if I can.

3. I AM THE SOURCE!

Art: https://xcancel.com/toho10min/status/1567918205527801857

My primary self-insert OC is canonically transfem and has been for years. Should I be concerned?

That's totally normal cis behaviour right?

:3

Don’t get me wrong, my mum is supportive and I am so grateful for that. But she just… is not as supportive as I want her to be.

Like at the appointment, she said some things that gave a bit of a bad vibe to me I guess? Like she asked what hormones did, and like, that’s fine. It’s surprising that she is aware that the government where we live has banned HRT from being given to minors but not what the effects are or which ones are permanent.

This actually came up in our conversation after the appointment too. She was asking what I want to happen on hormones (or something along those lines) and said something to the effect of “girl puberty”. She then got dismissive saying “thats not what it does” and “the doctor said it only affects fat distribution”. But the thing is the doctor literally told her what the effects are. He told her that breast development is one of the only effects that isnt reversible by just stopping the hormones. He told her about the changes to skin and emotions and body hair. I even pointed out the hair to her in response to her weird comments. I feel like I should have mentioned the breasts, but I don’t want her to think it’s a weird sexual thing or that it’s me being misogynistic.

She also said stuff about how people are going to harass me when I start presenting as female in public because I’ve gone through male puberty so I won’t look like other people. And,she is right, I won’t ever pass perfectly to everyone. But, she doesn’t seem to get that I could actually pass or that just because Im trans doesn’t mean I want to present as feminine all the time or that I want to present as woman in public if I don’t pass.

She wants my siblings to know Im trans as well. And I get her point. I don’t want to tell them yet. I don’t want to have to deal with how awkward it is. But it made her question why I would want to take hormones if I don’t want to present as a girl yet.

She also said a few things in general that kind of sucked. Like that she was unsure how much to believe me since I had lied so much to get to this point (I hadn’t lied at all other than to her and dad before I came out to them. And she questioned why I wasn’t shaving my beard if i didn’t want it. She also said something when we were talking about clothes about “welcome to being a woman” because the conversation went to unfair expectations somehow and she started saying things about me having white male privilege my whole life to this point.

She at least has said she’s going to let me start hormones and that she’s willing to buy me dresses and stuff. But right now I just want the hormones and not to have to worry about social transition yet. But Im worried she won’t see me as valid unless Im actively proving it by trying to be feminine.

It’s not fair. I hate opening up. She talked about how I got tested when I was six and it said that I wasn’t autistic (which apparently a bunch of psychologists and the like at the time said I was) and that I was depressed and that I had faked not recognising emotions on some previous test. And I think I may have been depressed at that time potentially in part due to dysphoria, but I don’t even know that I was actually depressed since I lied about some stuff apparently so why not that and also because i wasnt even aware of my gender at the time. And I don’t think she would accept that as a reason anyway since she says she didn’t see any signs of it and I feel like she’s just going to say Im reaching or seeing signs to justify it all where there aren’t actually any.

I don’t know, sorry for how long this is. I just have a lot of thoughts (I feel like I have more but I can’t keep track of them). I guess the summary is just my mum, unintentionally made me question my validity and made me dysphoric. I just hate opening up and making those big changes and Im worried that if I do something wrong no one will believe me. Theres just too much in my head right now and I hate it all.

or call me a critter and stuff. I do like feeling silly and nonhuman /srs

hope this kinda post is ok, considering what else I've seen here..

Hahahahahahaha. I'm miserable and I can't feel it, and it makes me doubt if this was for anything. I just wanna be a girl, but what if I'm not a girl, what if I'm actually a boy. I don't wanna be a boy. I've been getting a lot of those guys shorts which makes me feel so confused. I hate it. Numbness is really not helping because I can't fall on my dysphoria for validity. When does this stop? I hate myself, I'm worthless. Can't do anything anymore because of questioning, even I'm more in denial than anything.

I think I'm just scared because of the way the world treats Trans people, because like before I was like yeah I'm Trans but now I've been getting more and more unsure but I think thats because my mom has been more transphobic as of lately. I'm also incredibly numb rn. when will it stop it won't stop. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh. I just putting this off until tomorrow again and again and I need to stop. when will I accept who I am?

I need to listen to sensei wu. "Don't put off til tomorrow what can be done today" there's also another quote from garmadon that really good and applies to my situation. "people don't change they only reveal who they truely are".

I'm also incredibly mad that I can't start my transition yet despite how unsure I am. Saw another post that was like "stalling because I'm not confident in this yet" im paraphrasing from memory here so probably not exactly what was said but you get the idea.

transphobia is really getting to me rn. I'm listening to breakcore rn it usually helps me process this stuff.

Mourning what could have been done sooner, but sometimes the delay favorable. I can't imagine being 17 and trying to tell my dad (or anyone tbh) I'm trans without him crashing out with the rage of 4,000 suns lol

Yeah I’m just nervous about telling them and if they’ll accept me.im also nervous is they’ll actually agree to call me my new name (Amy!)
Uh thanks bye

I’ve been wanting to come out to my brother for weeks but am so scared, he is so accepting and welcoming to everyone (sometimes to his detriment) but I’m so afraid, I have about 40 minutes until dinner after posting if you have any words of advice or encouragement please comment (no ggd I don’t want to OD)

Hi! This is my 1st post here. I have been lurking in this sub for some time with the occasional comment there & there. So hopefully this goes well!

I have been bit a down as of late because after watch the TADC Finale & especially I saw the tv glow, I have gained the urge to transition (medically).

But before I can execute that I wanted some affirmation because I feel like I am a liiittle late to the party. As in I feel like 23 is a bit late, ofc not crazy late like I know people who transitioned in their 30s, 40s, & beyond & went on to have good lives but in spite of that knowledge I still feel like it should of happened sooner.

Also the art is from “Yurierdraws” from X.

Waiter waiter

Some birthday headpats NOW

Yeah, so much body apathy and confusion. It isn't a good thing but y'know, I'm tired and stuff. I wake up doubting myself and don't stop. Great, constant repression is so awesome.

The numbness has stopped but it's just rampant dysphoria now. Fuck, I despise my chest.

got any name ideas folks?

I genuinely believe I'm cis as of today.

The character is Lofi Boy from the Lofi Girl channel.

I've already talked to him about a few of my "body image issues" (disphoria) and outright told him there was more that I couldn't tell him yet. He is generally accepting of trans people, though I don't know how supportive he will be or if he will even believe me. I also thinks he already suspects what's going on, because I am Unsubtle™.

I hate it when my situation forces me to boymode like this. Don’t I deserve to be a girl? I find this very upsetting, to be stuck in an identity that I know I don’t belong in. It’s going to be a cruise to Alaska. Luckily, I have my own room on the boat, but the idea of being on a boat with people that closed-minded worries me. They’re very conservative and religious, so I can’t let them know that I am in any way queer. Do you think it’s understandable for me to be worried. If I can get through the dysphoria, I‘m sure I’ll have fun on the trip, but my dysphoria can get pretty bad. May I please have a bit of advice to maintain my composur?

the prophecy still stands, eggs are oblivious to every sign until they crack

I was really uncomfortable carrying a tennis skirt around, but someone changed the store music to this song, and I felt seen. It was so amazing I honestly couldn’t believe it was real. Either that or it was just next on the store radio, but I’m gonna believe that a worker truly saw me and wanted to let me know in best way possible.