my wife took our 4 year old to get me a birthday gift. came back with this little stainless steel bracelet just a simple chain with a tiny heart engraved on it.

apparently my daughter picked it out herself and told the lady daddy needs something pretty.

been wearing it for like 6 months now. it's not my style at all. but every time i look at it i remember her little voice saying that. so it stays.

kids change you man. never thought i'd be a bracelet guy but here we are.

anyone else wearing something their kid picked out that they'd never choose for themselves?

Going back to work after 4 weeks of sick leave. I have a hybrid schedule and today is my first day in office. I'm sad I'm in office and not to get to see my little one. I wish I can just work from home 40 hrs a week or just take care of her overall. Also worried about my wife being home alone with my daughter, just hoping they're okay… an extra hand goes a long way.

Reminds me that scene with Homer going to work and he’s “doing it for her.”

Had to take a trip to the emergency room yesterday.

Was feeling disoriented, short of breath with mild chest pains (among a few other symptoms). I have a history of heart attacks in my family so I did something I normally would avoid: seeking help. They ran an EKG and a bunch of bloodwork and everything came back within the normal ranges.

But they advised me to wear this holter monitor for two weeks to track my heart and to check for irregularities or abnormalities in my heart beat/heart rate.

I’m feeling a lot better today, but I honestly thought something horrible was going to happen yesterday. The thought of leaving my kids this early (I’m only 40) scared the shit out of me.

I exercising regularly and try to eat healthy (could improve this a little), but there are always improvements to be made. I need to at least get better at having regular checkups with my PCP.

I’m done rambling, just wanted to remind people that it’s worth it to take care of yourself and to get yourself checked out more often.

It’s been a month since I lost my son griff on Father’s Day last month. My entire world is shattered and I don’t know how I’m still waking up everyday and living, I guess I’m just surviving. A month ago, I went upstairs to wake him up, we were supposed to go get breakfast and it was my weekend. I opened his door and he didn’t answer me, I thought he was still asleep. I still don’t know exactly why or how, he went to sleep like normal and never woke up. I don’t know how a person can be here one night and not be here the next morning. I don’t understand it and I don’t think I ever will. His mom and I have been divorced for 6 years, we’ve always gotten along and we both loved him. It was my weekend and he was at my house. He was supposed to go back to her house after. He was supposed to keep living his life, he had the whole summer. He had friends, he had a whole life that was supposed to keep going, and now none of it is happening. I still think about how he was supposed to go to his moms house, I still think about how he was supposed to come back to my house after, I still think of normal things that won’t happen anymore. I don’t even know if I can explain why I have guilt, because I don’t know what or if I could’ve done. I was there, I found him, I tried to help him. None of that stops me from wondering what if I checked on him earlier. I know people tell me not to blame myself, but I’m his dad. I have other children and I love them, but losing him has made me feel like I don’t know how to be a person anymore. There are times when I just want to be left alone and I feel horrible saying that. People keep asking what they can do for me, and the answer is nothing. None of it brings him back, and none of it makes sense. I would give anything. He loved sports, baseball and hockey were our entire lives, it was my entire schedule. I used to complain about it sometimes, I want these problems again. I have almost every jersey he ever wore, I have his t ball jerseys all the way up to 17u. His room is exactly how he left it, dirty dear and socks everywhere. I don’t want to clean or touch anything. I miss everything, I would give anything to have one more normal day.

First off, thanks so much for the kindness showed to me last week. You all definitely helped me get through canceling. So many offers to take my son and I somewhere in the area. It was very much appreciated.

I had applied for a permit for 8 years and finally got a great canoeing permit in Yellowstone. On the morning we were supposed to hit the water my son was vomiting. We had a group and they went without us, as they should. Permits allow you to camp at a specific place on a specific day.

So Saturday my son was sick all day. Sunday we couldn’t have caught up to them, and we could watch the Workd Cup. So we watched the game together. Monday it turns out we COULD meet up with them as they were 6 miles from a road and on my bucket list lake - Shoshone Lake! So 7:30am we left the house, and the group and us pulled into the campsite at exactly the same time! So we were able to spend a night with them and came out with them this morning.

My son wants to know when we can go again! He’s already planning the next trip. So we made the best we could have it. Picture is my son & friend from last night.

Wife started the induction process earlier this morning. If all goes well the baby will be delivered tomorrow. Wife has started having some contractions which has made my anxiety skyrocket. I hate that I have no control over this and can’t take any of the pain away from my wife. Have already popped a xanny, but the physical tightening in my chest hasn’t gone away. I know it’ll all be fine, but I also know I won’t breathe a sigh of relief until I know mom and baby are healthy.

Edit: just wanted to say thank you all for the well wishes, encouragement, advice, and laughs. I really appreciate this community and am sure I’ll be in here a ton more once I graduate!

I made the greatest dad joke of my life today to my five year old, and it completely flew over her head with no one else around to appreciate it, so I’m posting it here.

She was explaining to me very matter of factly that her stuffed capybara was her baby, and her stuffed otter was the capybara’s baby. I asked her if the otter was her grand-otter.
I was met by silence.
I’ll show myself out now.

My wife has always organized our kids' birthdays, mostly by herself. This year, we were supposed to do something smaller, but in the end, it has resulted in 43 kids being invited. Maybe 10 of them are from our family; the rest are friends. Since my wife is extremely extroverted, she makes friends wherever she goes, and those friends have kids, which in turn leads to friendships with our kid.

I was curious: what are your kids' birthdays like?

Edit.: Wow, so many responses lol. Just to make it clear.

My wife organizes 99% of the party, as I'm not really into it, and she really likes it. My kid is at school right now; before, it was in daycare, so there are friends from daycare, school, the nearby playground, from the building we live in, my wife's friend, and sisters. She normally hires what we call here a "party entertainer" (don't know the name in English, sure), but they basically play with the kids, and the kids really loves.

she is inviting just one of the parents, so basically just our family will be here with both parents. All the other kids invited will be with just one of the parents. In the end, 90+ people.

Edit 2:

It's not for social media, guys lol, me and my wife are not active. I don't even have Instagram. We have held bday parties for him since the first year. Last year, it was around 30 kids invited, and he loved it. Has the "superhero certificate" he won in his living room. We hired party entertainers; we had a person entering as Flash, my kid was crazy happy, and so on. He has the "superhero certificate" in our living room.

This year will be similar. Basically is:

daycare friends (2-4 years he was at daycare)
school friends (from this year)
we go a lot to nearby playgrounds here, so he has some friends from there
we have friends from the building we live in, as we leave on an apartment
kids from family (my wife has a big family)
And my wife's friends' kids. (which he knows and likes to play with)

basically, that is the list. I said in other answers that my kid names every kid, but I would say around 90%. Just some exceptions that she invites to be polite

Most of the people go; the bday is 3 months from now, and for cost-saving, everything is already planned. My wife talked with a lot of the people already, and pings everybody 1 week before

It was pretty stressful, but we got everything done in time. We’d been prepping for a natural birth, but first the mucus plug came out, and then her water broke — pink-colored. We called the doctor, sent him a photo, and he told us to get to the maternity hospital.

When we arrived, they wanted to admit my wife and wait for contractions to start, but after the CTG the doctor called for a C-section and got there fast. On the CTG the heart rate had dropped from 134 to 119. In the end everyone’s alive and healthy — and now I’m a father.

Ok, so my kids and I were at a theme park, and there's an area of the park where there are Peacocks that wander around, for whatever reason. My kids always get a kick out of seeing them and know that the best way to enjoy them is staying quiet and still. But.... We've seen some parents idly watch their own kids chase the peacocks, or try to step on the male's tail feathers. Last week, a teenager, probably between 13 and 16, cornered a peacock in some bushes and was trying to jump-scare it. I did a loud whistle and yelled, "Hey! Cut that out! Who Raised you?!" I think I was going for "were you raised by wolves?!" Or something, but I got lost in the moment. She responded with "Really, bro?!" And I said "Yeah, bro, cut it out". The girl stomped off to her group about 15 feet to my right, but I purposefully didn't look to see if there was an upset parent in the group. Nobody said anything that I heard.

Anybody have a better suggestion I can hold onto in case the need arrives again? I think that's honestly my first time doing this ever, but abuse of animals flipped a switch in my brain and my "dad aura" extended so I could parent someone clearly in need of some guidance.

Edit: As I read your responses and think about other ways this might have gone down if I'd used a different phrase that may have reflected my frustration better, and talking it through with my kids later, I think I'd have to pick something that fits what I'm repeatedly saying to my own kids "it's ok to be mad, it's not ok to be mean".

We put up our baby camera using 3M command strips. It’s been up for 3 weeks with no issues so far. The Infant Optics camera lets you move the camera around so I can aim it right at the bassinet/crib.

Figured it’ll be an easy way to move it around when little man eventually goes to his own room without having to patch/put more holes in the wall.

Just posting in case anyone might find this useful.

Note- it’s not above the bassinet or anything important so if it falls it’ll hit the carpet (and hopefully survive).

I feel like I need to grow up from American Eagle, but I also realize that I don’t want to be some dude with Walmart jeans.

Please help me with fellow dad wisdom.

Hey Dads,

Just wanted to post an update. I let my wife know I would not partake in the marijuana-hall-pass during our trip. She was fine with it, and we carried on with planning and gearing up to go. We went with with 2 other families one of them had a 2 year old.

We all geared up as a family and went to the Okanagan for our week long trip. For the fathers that said there isn't much free time when travelling, I now understand what all of you meant. Not as a gripe, but just as he is a handful but also a loving little guy. I took care of the morning feeds while the wife rested for a little longer.

We managed to go on a lot of adventures during our short stay; the high points included sight-seeing, beach days, paddleboarding (Someone from our group stayed ashore to look after the little one while the other one was out 'learning' to paddleboard [me, I was learning, swimming, getting my sea-legs as I tried to stand on it]). I did manage to get to the gym for 2 early morning workouts after feeding our little guy.

The nights were filled were group cooking and bedtime for the children followed by a few hours to unwind.

I definitely went to bed early one night, sketched some graffiti another, and stayed uptodate with Fifa games througout the trip. I did have a few twisted teas, but nothing from the green. I just did not feel the urge to do it.

So, thank you guys for being reassuring and helping me stick to it.

-Green free and thriving

Im a Dad living internationally and missing some of the tips and tricks of everyday life. So fellow Dads, I ask you to help pass on a small little life hack that has helped out one way or another. Can be anything from indoor or outdoor.

We all know that kids are not predictable, we have ikea carpets and items because they are cheap and if the child stains or spills something, no negative reaction is triggered in the moment.

This one helped me not worry about the little messes surrounding a toddler,

WD-40 helps remove crayons and colored pencils from walls and surfaces.

Title pretty much says it all, when did you take the monitor out of your kid's room? It's convenient but I'm worried my kid is starting to use it as a bit of a crutch and isn't going to be able to be comfortable really "being alone" if we don't transition away from it at some point.

We have a 5mo baby
Husband is a shift worker and picks up sometimes 80-100 hour fortnights he leaves sometimes at 5.30am gets home at 6pm and will then go play sport for like 3 hours
He’s exhausted he gets home and falls asleep I feel like he’s missing out on our baby and doesn’t care
She will lie on his chest and babble and smile and stare at him and he just watches the TV and I go oh she’s looking at you she’s talking to you and he just dismisses me. It breaks my heart. I’m still getting paid as well on maternity leave, and we make 3-4k in savings on top of expenses so he doesn’t have to be away all the time. I feel like he doesn’t care about our baby.

My friends are having a baby this fall. I asked my four year old if she had any advice for the dad to be. She said that he should act like me and he would be a good dad. This is coming from the same kid who said she hated me as much as the world last week.

First off, this is not really meant to be a complaint. I mean, it kind of is... but I'm not saying I'm unhappy or that I want out of this situation or need advice. Its just something Ive noticed and I am curious if it is just me and/or if I am huffing my own shit.

My wife is stay-at-home, her choice, and I support it always have. She's a great mom, no complaints there. We have a son who is 3.5 and a daughter who just turned 1.

Early on I read a lot of books and advice and stuff and knew I wanted to be a very active parent, didn't want to always lean on my wife for the parenting, and wanted to be aware of her workload and mental/physical load. I didn't want to fall into that classic trap where act like since I work all day then I should cone home and relax or whatever, I am aware that being a SAHM is a full time job of its own and she doesn't get to clock out at the end of the day so neither do I. I saw someone here on Reddit say once that they look at it as just 'adulting', you go to work and adult all day, or you have to be the adult to your children all day. When the person who works comes home they don't get to stop being an adult, they need to continue being an adult just like the person who stayed home continues to he an adult.

The thing is, sometimes I feel like I over-corrected. Most days I come home from work and eat dinner (the one thing I absolutely do rely on my wife for completely at least during the week since I can't get home and cook and still have dinner ready at a reasonable time. The best I can do os offer to pick up on the way home if I think she doesn't feel like cooking) then after dinner I immediately start on chores while also helping with the kids. After my chores are done I almost always give me wife a break, she's been with the kids all day and Ive only been home for like an hour so I usually take them for a walk or something, we go to the park or I take them in the backyard. The point of leaving the house is so mom can actually relax. I usually keep bith the kids until bedtime, at which point we divide and conquer, I take the toddler for a bedtime story and get him to sleep while my wife takes the baby. After the toddler goes to bed I 'shut down' the house, make sure all the doors are locked and lights are out that sort if thing... more on that later.

Over night we both get up as needed for the baby, but I also am an early riser/morning person so almost every day I am awake by ~4:30 anyways so another thing I started doing when we had the new baby is that if its at least like... 3am and the baby wakes up, I just take over. I'll take her into the living room and try to get her back to sleep, or just sit with her until I have to leave for work.

The thing is, it often feels like as I do more and more work my wife does less. I'm doing more dishes, I'm picking up after the kids more often, I'm rotating the laundry etcetera... meanwhile the roughly two hours I give her every evening is taken full advantage of, she usually does not get out of bed.

Sometimes I feel like I still get shit on, by like family members and stuff like they give me the whole "Ohhhh, make sure you are pitching in on the weekend" when like they arent around to see Im never not 'pitching in' (which I just consider being a parent).

I feel so guilty about taking time for myself that even to go see the Odyssey (I've always been a big fan if mythology and history) I scheduled it over a week in advance with my wife, and I got tickets to see it at ten o'clock at night so I could make sure the kids were asleep before I left, and even though the movie wasn't out until 1am I was still up early the next morning to take the baby. So mom could sleep in.

I legit do not remember the last time I got to sleep in... I don't even know if I could given the chance in all fairness. And my wife has never offered to give me a break even once...

Anyways, this is not a cry for help. Im doing fine. I love my kids, I live my wife, I wouldn't trade my life for the world. Maybe I'm a masochist, or maybe I'm a self-made martyr and I dont realize it.

What do you think? Anyone else out there feel like they do this too? How are you holding up?

Hope everyone has a great week.

My son has been playing since 6 months and is now about to be 17 months. He knows the different drums when I say hit the snare/hat/ride/crash/toms or he’ll practice quiet and loud dynamics. When its too hot outside like right now, he uses the practice pads indoors.

It feels cool to be able to share a similar interest at the moment, and if he wants to do something else in the future, GUESS WHAT YOU CANT IM THE PARENT AND YOU PLAY DRUMS! NOT MY TEMPO ! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE A BABY LEARN METRIC MODULATION ! JK I will make sure he does the hell out of whatever hobby he chooses.

Listened to a podcast recently about how kids applying to colleges write about their traumas growing up and how they overcame it.

I'd like to think my 2 year old lives a pretty trauma free life, so what kind of trauma can I manufacture for him so he can get into a good college?

Becoming a new dad so this is my last tech purchase for a while. I already have a MacBook so trying to decide if a gaming laptop or handheld makes more sense.

What have yall found more convenient?

So it begins. Round 2. Also, tonight is very busy in delivery. We got the good room by luck. Not paying extra.

Hey everyone, I don’t think many people are in my situation, but I really need some advice.
I’m 23 years old and I had my son when I was 21. He wasn’t planned, but we both decided to keep him. After he was born, my feelings for my son’s mother slowly faded. I think a big part of it was that we stopped spending quality time together and our relationship changed completely.

We broke up once before, but after the breakup I barely got to see my son. That was incredibly hard, so I got back together with her hoping we could work things out.

During that breakup, I wanted us to have a healthy co-parenting relationship and focus on raising our son together, even if we weren’t a couple anymore. She didn’t want that. She said she wanted me to stay away from her until she no longer had feelings for me, which made co-parenting really difficult.

I love spending time with my son, and his mom is genuinely a great mother. The problem is that I feel like I’m only in this relationship because of my son. At the same time, I’m only 23, and part of me wants to meet new people and experience life. But I also want to be a good father who’s always there for his son.

When I tried to leave before, she wouldn’t let me have my son for more than about three hours because she said she didn’t trust me to take care of him. I honestly don’t understand why. I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, and I know how to take care of my son.

Has anyone been through something similar? What would you do in my situation?