My son turned three last Saturday and it was a great day until the gifts were opened. My sister-in-law, who has zero children and lives in a perfectly quiet apartment, decided to buy him this massive plastic fire truck. Here is the problem. It does not have a volume knob. It does not even have an off switch. It just has a giant yellow button that my son has been pressing for forty-eight hours straight.

This thing is so LOUD that I can hear it through two closed doors and a pair of noise-canceling headphones. It plays this high-pitched siren followed by a voice that yells "Let's go save the day!" every five seconds. I tried to hide it in the closet last night, but my son found it at 6 AM and started the concert again.

The lack of self-awareness from people without kids is just ABSURD. They think they are being the "fun aunt" but they are actually just handing us a ticket to a migraine. I spent all day in meetings and I came home to a house that sounds like a construction site in the middle of a carnival.

I should of checked the box for batteries before he saw it. I could of told him it was broken. But now it is too late and he is emotionally attached to this screaming plastic demon. I am seriously considering accidentally dropping it down the stairs tonight. Why is this even a thing?

.

It just seems like a real dad thing to do.

My wife and I have two boys, 10.5 months apart. After that we decided that if we wanted more we'd adopt but certainly not a newborn, maybe a toddler or the like. So we got rid of all our baby stuff as we imagined we wouldn't need it ever again.

Well my wife starts getting the itch that she wants another and she no longer wanted to adopt. I told her if the Knicks win the chip I'll gladly oblige.

Well after game 4 watching OG put the tip in... Either way she's pregnant and we have no baby stuff. I made a comprehensive list of all the things, based on my years of experience, that I will be purchasing.

Bottles

Diapers

A crib

Infant car seat

Baby carrier

The rest of stuff was nonsense and ultimately unnecessary. So if you're a dad to be who is strapped for cash, this is all you need.

Eta: also wipes and rash cream. Additionally my kids are 4&5 now, I think my post made him seem like they were still babies, or at the very least that's what some people commenting down below seem to think.

Looking for other Dad's born around 80's-91 era....

Gentlemen I am a first time dad, Im 6 months into the mission and its awesome. As I'm going through this experience I've been watching alot older movies/media with my infant from my era. It dawns on me often how much has been lost. Tonight it was Oliver and Company opening sequence with the twin towers and I was crying silently. There is such an amazing free beautiful positive world these kids were supposed to get and my heart feels like my daughter was robbed of that. Growing up in the 90's was awesome and it just hurts me deeply she doesnt get that. Was just wondering if any other dad's caught those feelings

My girlfriend is due to give birth soon, and I’m honestly really nervous about being in the delivery room.

I love her, I’m excited to become a dad, and I want to support her. But the thought of actually seeing a baby come out is making me feel sick. I’m someone who gets grossed out pretty easily, and I’m worried I’ll either pass out or end up kind of traumatized by it.

One thing I’m almost embarrassed to admit is that I’m also worried it might affect how I see her sexually afterward. I’m not trying to be disrespectful or say anything negative about women giving birth. I know it’s an incredible thing, and I have so much respect for what she’s about to go through. I’m just wondering if actually seeing it happen could change intimacy for me in a bad way.

For the dads or partners who were there for the birth, did it affect your attraction to your partner afterward? Did it make intimacy awkward, or was it completely different once the moment was over?

I’m looking for honest experiences, whether positive or negative. Please don’t roast me too hard. I’m genuinely anxious and trying to figure out what’s best for both of us.

Hey guys,

I've seen some pretty good above here about the usual difficulties of child raising so here I am looking for your help.

We've a 2.5 year old that's just discovered his penis and he's finding it very relaxing to constantly hold himself and fiddle about. All no problem we've discussed that pee pee is for home time etc.

But he does tend to pull himself out of his diapers while he's sleeping, which means we keep having to go in a check up him so he doesn't pee all over himself in his sleep.

Anyone had this problem?

Any advice.

You know yourself, we're just hoping to get a good night's sleep.

Thanks in advance.

My 6 year old really REALLY wants to watch a 'marvel' movie. Not 90s spiderman, not Spidey and friends, the ones that the 'big kids get to watch'. Oh and not into the spider verse (1 or 2) because he's 'already seen those ones'.

From a content perspective I'm not too worried about the more tame MCU movies. Honestly I feel he might get a little bit bored halfway through any of them; but he wants what he wants. I'm gonna pick up a pizza and we'll sit down and watch one. Any suggestions besides what I'm thinking?

Right now Antman is at the top of my list as it might be fun for him with all the shrinking and stuff. Others I've considered are Homecoming or Capt America. It's also been quite a few years since I've seen those so I might not remember if there's a particularly scary scene in any of them.

Would love to hear suggestions and opinions of things I've simply forgotten or may not be aware of that's out there.

Coparent my two year old boy and I work swing shift 4 on 4 off. I have him on my days off and we have memberships to the zoo and science museum (both free of charge). Both are 25 minutes from home and zero cost when going. How often would you be taking your child there? Is once a week too often or reasonable? For what it's worth he's extremely well mannered.

If there's one thing I've taught my son... Wear your seat belt. He's 15 now, learning to drive. He reminds me sometimes.

May not be the greatest dad, but I'm proud I instilled that in him.

We have a 5mo baby
Husband is a shift worker and picks up sometimes 80-100 hour fortnights he leaves sometimes at 5.30am gets home at 6pm and will then go play sport for like 3 hours
He’s exhausted he gets home and falls asleep I feel like he’s missing out on our baby and doesn’t care
She will lie on his chest and babble and smile and stare at him and he just watches the TV and I go oh she’s looking at you she’s talking to you and he just dismisses me. It breaks my heart. I’m still getting paid as well on maternity leave, and we make 3-4k in savings on top of expenses so he doesn’t have to be away all the time. I feel like he doesn’t care about our baby.

Any construction dads have any input? We got a play swing for the kiddos and I wanted to set it up along the bottom of this patio beam. Is that recommended or nah? We bought some heavy duty supports and anchors to mount the swing on and I think the total of them both would be at most 40lbs

my 5yo came home from kindy yesterday and announced she's going to be a professional dancer. she's been to two classes but that's enough to know your whole future lol.

she's been practicing in the living room nonstop and it's the cutest thing but i'm so lost. i thought ballet was just like, put on some shoes and go. turns out there's different types of shoes and different fabrics and something about ribbons?? i'm already overwhelmed.

my wife's een handling most of the gear stuff but she's away for work so i'm on my own this week.

any other dads been through this? what do i need vs what's just extra? i don't wanna show up looking like i have no clue what i'm doing (even tho i definitely don't lol)

First off, this is not really meant to be a complaint. I mean, it kind of is... but I'm not saying I'm unhappy or that I want out of this situation or need advice. Its just something Ive noticed and I am curious if it is just me and/or if I am huffing my own shit.

My wife is stay-at-home, her choice, and I support it always have. She's a great mom, no complaints there. We have a son who is 3.5 and a daughter who just turned 1.

Early on I read a lot of books and advice and stuff and knew I wanted to be a very active parent, didn't want to always lean on my wife for the parenting, and wanted to be aware of her workload and mental/physical load. I didn't want to fall into that classic trap where act like since I work all day then I should cone home and relax or whatever, I am aware that being a SAHM is a full time job of its own and she doesn't get to clock out at the end of the day so neither do I. I saw someone here on Reddit say once that they look at it as just 'adulting', you go to work and adult all day, or you have to be the adult to your children all day. When the person who works comes home they don't get to stop being an adult, they need to continue being an adult just like the person who stayed home continues to he an adult.

The thing is, sometimes I feel like I over-corrected. Most days I come home from work and eat dinner (the one thing I absolutely do rely on my wife for completely at least during the week since I can't get home and cook and still have dinner ready at a reasonable time. The best I can do os offer to pick up on the way home if I think she doesn't feel like cooking) then after dinner I immediately start on chores while also helping with the kids. After my chores are done I almost always give me wife a break, she's been with the kids all day and Ive only been home for like an hour so I usually take them for a walk or something, we go to the park or I take them in the backyard. The point of leaving the house is so mom can actually relax. I usually keep bith the kids until bedtime, at which point we divide and conquer, I take the toddler for a bedtime story and get him to sleep while my wife takes the baby. After the toddler goes to bed I 'shut down' the house, make sure all the doors are locked and lights are out that sort if thing... more on that later.

Over night we both get up as needed for the baby, but I also am an early riser/morning person so almost every day I am awake by ~4:30 anyways so another thing I started doing when we had the new baby is that if its at least like... 3am and the baby wakes up, I just take over. I'll take her into the living room and try to get her back to sleep, or just sit with her until I have to leave for work.

The thing is, it often feels like as I do more and more work my wife does less. I'm doing more dishes, I'm picking up after the kids more often, I'm rotating the laundry etcetera... meanwhile the roughly two hours I give her every evening is taken full advantage of, she usually does not get out of bed.

Sometimes I feel like I still get shit on, by like family members and stuff like they give me the whole "Ohhhh, make sure you are pitching in on the weekend" when like they arent around to see Im never not 'pitching in' (which I just consider being a parent).

I feel so guilty about taking time for myself that even to go see the Odyssey (I've always been a big fan if mythology and history) I scheduled it over a week in advance with my wife, and I got tickets to see it at ten o'clock at night so I could make sure the kids were asleep before I left, and even though the movie wasn't out until 1am I was still up early the next morning to take the baby. So mom could sleep in.

I legit do not remember the last time I got to sleep in... I don't even know if I could given the chance in all fairness. And my wife has never offered to give me a break even once...

Anyways, this is not a cry for help. Im doing fine. I love my kids, I live my wife, I wouldn't trade my life for the world. Maybe I'm a masochist, or maybe I'm a self-made martyr and I dont realize it.

What do you think? Anyone else out there feel like they do this too? How are you holding up?

Hope everyone has a great week.

As the title says, my wife and I both have high-intensity jobs and things are getting incredibly busy. So, we're currently talking about having my mother-in-law move in with us to help watch the kids over the summer. Before taking the plunge, my biggest worry is honestly the day-to-day communication logistics. She's older, so sending her a barrage of text updates won't work. She just won't remember them all. I also really don't want her to feel stressed and constantly texting me to confirm things like, "Is the oldest kid's swim lesson at 2 PM or 3 PM?" Especially when work gets crazy, we just won't have time to reply immediately. So, my wife and I talked it over, and we want to install a digital family calendar in the kitchen before she moves in. My idea is to have the kids' daily summer schedules, chores, meal plans, and grocery lists all synced on one screen. Older folks usually struggle with complex shared calendar apps on smartphones, and dealing with digital permissions is just a hassle. Having a big screen right in the kitchen means she can just glance at it while cooking, and everyone is on the same page without endless back-and-forth confirming. For those of you working parents who have had a parent move in to help: any good digital family calendar recommendations? Also, just to pick your brains, what all should we think through or prep before she actually moves in? I'm open to hearing success stories and horror stories! Thanks!

Our first child (6) was in swim lessons at two, tried dance at 3, then over the years gymnastics, then dance again, then gymnastics again. And she has done several swim lesson sessions and various week long day camps over summer. We used to read to her a ton and practiced her swimming a lot. Now we have our 2nd child (1) and I can’t imagine being able to give the 2nd the same level of enrichment. We struggle to just keep our house from being a mess 24/7. How do you balance fairness with your kids upbringing?

Edit: Thanks for all the responses! Maybe I should have clarified a bit more, these activities were not all concurrent so there is plenty of downtime for boredom.

Anyhow, now in the morning it seems like less of an overwhelming problem than it did last night.

I feel like I need to grow up from American Eagle, but I also realize that I don’t want to be some dude with Walmart jeans.

Please help me with fellow dad wisdom.

I live in an area with Mennonites. They typically drive Honda civic or accords. Mennonites around this area are typically going to buy nicer vehicles for economic reasons whether that is initial purchase price, quality product, reliability, and/or resale.

I have 4 daughters. My oldest is 11 so I have time to start acquiring vehicles or research. Like most I hope my kids go to college then start a family afterwards. If not though they start into life. Would a Honda accord/civic be a good car with great reliability and longevity to get them several years past 22 years old? Im leaning towards accords because of the bigger car to fit life into.

P.s. I hate haggling. Im cheap as F though. If I buy used. What mileage, years, and model packages would you stay away from? Im sure theres a car salesman dad in this sub that can lend in.

I spend most of my time at work, church and with kiddos at home. Even working out feels like a check mark to stay healthy when it was a pleasure years ago. I don’t golf or do anything.
I’m blessed but feel like I’m not living life to fullest with nothing outside of the office, church or home every evening . It’s normal for dads not to have hobbies right?

Haven't switched out of my flip-flops all day. I guess I'll take it as a chance to relax for an hour? But man I'm actually trying to be healthier here!

So I (35) have 4 kids and the time came for me to get the snip. Today was the day. I was pretty nervous, I’m not a needle and incision kind of guy. I saw a few posts on here over the past few months that I appreciated reading in preparation for my procedure, so I wanted to share my experience for other dads that might be considering the procedure (or scheduled for one)!

So procedure was scheduled for 3:00. Took my prescribed Valium at 2:00 and I think it helped calm me down. Went from probably a 7/10 to a 4/10 nervous. Wife drove me to the doctor with my 3 month old. After waiting a while, ended up starting the procedure prep at 4:00. I was scheduled for a needle and scalpel procedure, performed on each side. Doctor planned to pull out the vans, snip a section out, cauterize the ends, and tie the cut ends back up along itself.

4:20 the first needle went in to numb the left side. Quick, sharp sting to start, applied numbing to the area. Done with that in 20-30 seconds. Didn’t hurt nearly as much as expected. From there, made the incision, made the snips, cauterized the area, sewed me up. Felt a touch of tugging and pulling at moments, but nothing really. I was scrolling TikTok and texting my wife the whole time. Honestly made me feel stupid at how easy and painless it was. Overall 2/10 on the pain/uncomfortable scale. Was looking forward to getting the other side done like that. Easy peasy!

Moving on to the right side. Still chilling on my phone. Needle went in and was a little sharper and more painful than the left. Made me tense up a touch, but wasn’t too too bad. Still better than I thought it would be. Started to make the incision and locate the vans and it felt like more pressure than the other side, so I asked for more numbing, which he provided painlessly at that point. Performed the rest of the procedure on the right side with slightly more discomfort than the left side. Maybe 25% more. Overall a 4/10 on that side for pain and discomfort. Nothing huge. To be completely honest, the most pain I had was when they were taking the adhesive patches off of me for the cauterizer ground and the tape used to hold my penis up. Like ripping off huge bandages. I’m not even kidding that was the worst.

4:40 I was standing up putting my shorts back on and walking out the door. Made me feel kinda silly how much I was nervous about it. It truly felt so easy and nearly painless. Keep in mind I had a Valium, so I think it helped my overall nervousness, so I’d recommend that if you can.

Now a few hours later I’m just chilling at home with an ice pack on my nuts. A little bleeding from the incision area. Took two aspirin. Having some general tenderness in the area. Going to take it easy for tonight and tomorrow.

Big takeaway. The nervousness and buildup over the past weeks and days was so much worse than the procedure itself. I’m glad it’s over, but it was so much easier than expected. I hope others get to have the same experience i had. Happy to answer any questions!

Becoming a new dad so this is my last tech purchase for a while. I already have a MacBook so trying to decide if a gaming laptop or handheld makes more sense.

What have yall found more convenient?

We put up our baby camera using 3M command strips. It’s been up for 3 weeks with no issues so far. The Infant Optics camera lets you move the camera around so I can aim it right at the bassinet/crib.

Figured it’ll be an easy way to move it around when little man eventually goes to his own room without having to patch/put more holes in the wall.

Just posting in case anyone might find this useful.

Note- it’s not above the bassinet or anything important so if it falls it’ll hit the carpet (and hopefully survive).

Hey, all. Does anyone else, like me, want to completely disassemble the Doona more than just taking the fabrics off? Now, before some of you call it a "stupid idea" and/or ask, "Why would you do that?" If baby has a massive blowout and leaks from too much pee running all down the thing, you'll most likely want to do this instead of just hosing down the thing completely assembled. I'd rather disassemble the plastic pieces, at least enough to hose down where the baby sits below the foam, instead of risking water getting into some crevices and ultimately rusting anything out (if there is anything like a metal spring assembly in the latches and swing arm). There seem to be 6 screws in the base that I can see in this seat part that has a grid of breather-like holes (this is where the pee ran all down from). There are also little yellow tabs with a "Do Not Remove" warning label. I'm assuming this is a part to also remove to accomplish this disassembly. I cannot see anything else, screw-wise, needed to do this. Has anyone accomplished this without breaking anything?

Please only serious guidance and no wise guy cracks, thanks.