I’m writing this at 4 am while nursing my 6 week old baby. He is my first (human) baby. For most of my life I never wanted kids but changed my mind about 3 years ago. After changing my mind about kids, I had subtle lingering doubts: “did I really want this?”, “could I handle it?”, “would I actually like being a mom?”. I had a difficult and physically painful pregnancy that brought up even more doubts about whether this was right for me.

I’m on the other side now and although not everything has been sunshine and rainbows since he was born, goodness I spent all that time worrying for nothing. I am in love with this tiny baby in a way I never imagined possible. He has brought me so much joy and purpose. I LOVE being his mama.

When he’s slept more than a few hours I find myself staring at him waiting for him to wake up so we can hang out. A couple weeks ago he started gazing into my eyes which makes me cry with happiness every time. He often falls asleep with his arms around me in the most precious way. I love being nap trapped.

This baby has made me more present than I’ve ever been in my life despite over 10 years of a consistent yoga and meditation practice. I am fascinated seeing the world through his fresh eyes. I feel that I found a purpose I never knew I needed after largely defining myself by my career. Now all the rest are just details.

I know my boy and I have a long road ahead of us and challenges will come up. I go back to work in a month and a half which will be tough. In the meantime, I’ll be here soaking in all this love and joy.

Oxytocin is one hell of a drug!

My son is 4 months old now. He’s awesome. One of the things I was told a lot was to be careful because boys will be pee on you when you change their diaper!

Well, it was 3:30 in the morning. Unusual time for him to wake up, we’ve been blessed with him sleeping through the night lately. I check on him and he’s face down. Apparently he only wants to learn how to roll from his back to his stomach when it’s dark and no one’s looking. Shy kid, I get it.

So I start changing his diaper. I take a step away to toss the dirty diaper. Rookie mistake not putting the new one on first. I see a spray of pee hit the top corner of his changing table. Cool, didn’t hit me. But the stream starts going right. I watched in horror as my baby yawned and the stream cut right across his face, in his mouth.

I’m processing a lot of guilt and he’s deciding whether I tried to poison him or gave him some really foul milk. That is all. Thank you for listening.

My (27M) wife (27F) and I are expecting our first child in March/April of 2027!!! We literally just found out she is pregnant last night and we are both excited out of our minds but also a bit terrified haha. Neither of us have any idea what to do or expect but we are just overjoyed and excited to meet the little one.

I’m posting here to hopefully get some insight, advice, and ideas about what to expect. Can y’all help a completely clueless and excited dad to be out?

I’ve literally never noticed until my son was born 5 weeks ago. When he finally goes down for a nap, opening ANYTHING sounds like an atomic bomb going off when we’re trying to be as quiet as possible. Doesn’t help that the little guy is a light sleeper during naps. Such a random stressor that we didn’t expect lol

My LO is almost 8 months old and the shitty apartment my husband and I live in has no central AC. We live in Florida and the heat has been killer. We can't get our apartment colder than 82°F at night, and we're worried about SIDs due to high heat. We're getting a portable water cooling fan, but we're waiting for it to come in. We've tried everything to get our place to cool down, and our apartments aren't doing anything to help with the wall unit that's giving out due to the heat. Are there solutions we should be considering and how do we keep baby cool aside from leaving him in just his diaper alone in his crib?

First time parents to a 2 day old newborn. Gave birth Monday afternoon, discharged the following evening. The night we took him home, we noticed his temperature was low. We took his armpit temp, and watched it throughout the night. It would not progress more than 95.5-96.5, and this morning we decided to head straight to ER.

There were so many people sick that there was people in the hallway. I immediately felt like a terrible mom bringing him into this environment. The doctor was… something else. He walked in and shook my husband’s hand. He saw me laying in the bed and tapped my shoe and said hey mama. He walked over and looked at my baby, then touched his body without washing hands or anything. I’m terrified of my baby getting sick from this to the point it makes me sick.

We were so worried we didn’t even have a diaper bag packed or anything. The doctor even questioned why we weren’t feeding him enough but we were following our discharge instructions. He asked the department I gave birth in and they told the doctor a way higher amount of formula than what we were told. I’m scared they’re going to think we’re bad parents now because of this.
The doctor even questioned why we were checking his temperature in the first place. My husband said it’s because they told us if it was below 97, to go to ER as we were instructed.

Of course the room they put us in is FREEZING. They put my son on the warmer and his temperature would not go above a 98. They transferred us to the infant care unit. His temperature is now reading fine. The pediatrician thinks that this was an environmental issue, and my husband and I can’t help but wonder if maybe his bassinet being near our window AC unit next to my bed (along the wall and vents pointed away at low temperatures) could be the cause. We put him in a 1.5 tog sleep sack with a long sleeve sleeper underneath. We have a room thermostat that was reading at 72, but our plan when we get discharged is to move him to the opposite side of the bed.

They had to hook him up to a little IV and I sobbed. His blood tests are fine. Just waiting on the urine. I’m hoping that we can go home tomorrow.

I have not showered in days. The shower was a hand held in my postpartum room and I didn’t get to clean myself well. We are sleep deprived. So basically my last decent shower was before I gave birth. I feel disgusting, I feel horrified at the ER germs, and I just want my son to be healthy. I’m so worried about him. This is not how I wanted my post partum newborn stage to go at all. I am really struggling right now.

I am so sad about my daughter turning one. This past year has gone by so unbelievably fast. I spend countless nights looking back at photos of her when she was small. I understand I am so lucky to see her grow up but some part of me feels as if I’m dying because she won’t be a baby anymore. My little baby
:( thank you for letting me vent. My boyfriend isn’t as sensitive as me and never truly understands what I mean when I say this stuff. Anyways, did you have any clues as to when your little one would start walking? I think she’s close but not completely sure.

I feel like I don’t love my 16 month old child… I don’t miss her when she’s at her grandmas. She’s very cute and all but I just don’t feel the love. I want to be left alone. I want my freedom. I just want to do whatever I want whenever I want. I feel trapped by motherhood. I don’t want to be a mother. What the hell is wrong with me? I hoped to be a loving mother and I am failing.

Hello this is my first post In this sub. I’m expecting to be a first time father in February and I made a promise to my wife to stop smoking marijuana after my birthday in November. I’ve read about particles on my clothes, and hair after smoking that can be transferred to the baby’s lungs so that’s why I’m for sure stopping in November. The thing is I’m still a daily smoker although I go around the corner and walk a half a mile away so my wife doesn’t inhale any second hand smoke I’m kind of conflicted. I’m on the verge of slowly weening myself off and becoming an occasional weed smoker until November but as trimesters progress would I need to stop completely for the health of my wife and child? I’ve been smoking weed daily since I was 18 and I’ve had to stop for 6 months to a year on a few occasions for multiple reasons. One time I took a 6 month break at 19 due to living with my older brother, another time I had to stop for 7 months because of a marijuana DUI at 25, then another time at 30 I stopped for a year due to Graves’ disease and thyroid eye disease and getting my thyroid removed so it was kind of touch and go if I could have children. Last time I’ve taken a break was from November of 2024 until August 2025 just because I wanted to adjust some things in life. If there are any fathers that smoke marijuana, without any judgment should I try to stop now or wait until November?

Hello!! I have a 7 month old and she has been starting solids slowly. i introduced puree first to see how allergens would go and shes done fantastic!! she has loved a well done steak and eggs! i want to try chicken, beef, turkey and other good proteins. how do i prep and cook said foods for my 7 month old with no teeth? thank you in advance!!!🫶🏻

Our 14 month old daughter will flail and hit faces if she gets upset. For example, if she picks up something she shouldn’t have, and we pick her up and take it from her, she’ll hit our face. We thought it was only with us at home, but now it’s been 2 days that her teacher at daycare has mentioned it.

When it happens at home, we’ll say “gentle hands, we don’t hit” and model what that looks like (my husband will lightly touch my face in front of her).

Are there any other strategies that people have found effective? The teacher doesn’t sound too concerned, she said they’re working on gentle hands at school. I worry and don’t want her to be “the kid that hits”.

Hello fellow new parents!

I wanted to offer some education regarding SIDS since there was a recent post about it, and I imagine many of us (myself included) have very legitimate fears about it.

SUID vs. SIDS

SIDS is a biological anomaly that is not obvious or observable via an autopsy. SUID (Sudden Unexpected Infant Death) is a newer umbrella term that SIDS falls under, but also includes accidental suffocation and asphyxiation.

As of the most recent studies, SUID impacts 0.1 percent of babies. If possible, I’d love each of you to take in a big deep breath and read this next part.

The odds are in your baby’s favor.

Years ago there was a national push for safe sleep practices, where babies are put to sleep alone (no bed sharing) on their backs, in an empty crib or bassinet. The number of deaths classified as SIDS fell dramatically. This showed researchers that many deaths once classified as SIDS were likely related to sleep environment and would now be classified differently under the broader term SUID.

And according to the CDC, up to 98.5% of SUIDS deaths (which again includes SIDS) had at least one unsafe sleep factor at the time of the tragedy.

Something else that’s important to note, because things like suffocation and rebreathing deaths cannot be observed on an autopsy, in these tragic cases, the cause of death can sometimes be listed as SIDS, which as I mentioned, true SIDS is the medical anomaly.

THE TRIPLE RISK MODEL

One of the leading scientific explanations for SIDS is the Triple Risk Model. Three risks are most likely to be present in the event of SIDS, often working as a chain, one that we can break at point #3. Breaking the chain doesn’t guarantee safety, but the science suggests it helps significantly.

(1) A biologically vulnerable baby, these are the ones who may experience the anomaly, which they believe is largely caused by an underlying brainstem abnormality that may impair the baby's ability to wake or respond appropriately to low oxygen or high carbon dioxide.

(2) The critical development period. This is when a baby’s brain and body changes functions for sleep and breathing. This is why ages 2-4 months are the most critical. Some speculate that vaccines cause SIDS but it is worth noting that vaccines and this window just happen to coincide.

(3) An environmental factor. A blocked airway, cigarette smoke, suffocation, rebreathing, overheating, etc.

Research shows that the following reduces the third risk significantly (even meeting one or two of these recommendations is good!)

(1) Safe sleep. Again, alone in their empty bassinet or crib.

(2) Room sharing. While the jury is still out on exactly why, it is speculated that subtle noises parents make in the middle of the night can help keep the baby’s brain alert and avoid falling into too deep of a sleep.

(3) Having a fan blowing GENTLY. Some studies suggest this is effective by keeping fresh air moving around baby’s face to reduce the risk of rebreathing (inhaling CO2 into their lungs, this can happen if the sleep surface is too soft (why couches, adult mattresses, baby loungers are not recommended) or if baby is on their stomach (before they’re old enough to roll).

(4) Offering a pacifier has been shown to reduce occurrences and the leading theory is that it keeps the brain engaged and keeps their airway open.

(5) Breastfeeding. Breastfed babies are generally easier to rouse. That said, formula feeding does not increase SIDS risk, it just doesn’t offer the same protection.

(6) Sobriety and maintaining a smoke-free environment for your baby.

This is more of a public recommendation — using a pulse/ox monitor. While monitors like the Owlet have not been shown to reduce or stop SIDS, they can possibly alert you to intervene if baby’s pulse or oxygen levels become poor. There currently isn’t any research that shows that if SIDS begins, parents can intervene and stop it, but this doesn’t mean it can’t either, there’s just no definitive proof and there’s no way to ethically study this. HOWEVER, occasionally the Owlet has been used as a safety net to start or continue sleeping practices that are not recommended, so please keep that in mind. Additionally, some parents report feeling more anxious with the use of these kind of monitors. I mention these because of their rise in popularity and are frequently discussed in comment sections regarding SIDS. My pediatrician said they are “complementary” to the expert recommendations.

My goal of writing all of this out is to provide both education and some comfort as many of us face the scary reality that yes, SIDS does exist, but we are not powerless in it. My prayer is that all of our precious and beloved babies grow up happy and healthy, and that their parents are able to get some sleep at night despite the very natural anxiety parenthood brings.

If desired I can make a similar post on PPA and intrusive thoughts if anyone is interested.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK513399/

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/13646-sudden-infant-death-syndrome-sids

https://publications.aap.org/aapgrandrounds/article-pdf/51/6/69/1641689/gr+june+2024_69.pdf

https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/153/3/e2023061984/196646/Characteristics-of-Sudden-Unexpected-Infant-Deaths

So LO is 3 weeks old and by now I've seen 4 lactation consultants. 3 in the hospital before I was even discharged.

I've been getting so much conflicting info, each one saying to disregard everyone else. A big off putting thing is also how aggressive some of them are. LO has trouble latching and they'll keep pushing her into my breast over and over while manhandling us both while she screams and cries because she's hungry and probably confused and a little scared.

I know they say I need to be tough and push through, but I've started pumping and bottle feeding and using a shield just to stop distressing her so and getting her to eat.

Am I being too soft, and they're right? I'm not a sensitive person, but it's so off putting how aggressive their tactics are while my newborn is screaming so badly she's getting hiccups and chin quivering.

Edit: thank you so, so much for all the comments, advice and support! It's been emotional for my husband and I to know it's not us, and to ourselves getting through the trenches. From my heart - thank you ❤️

Hey moms and dad,

Did anyone here decided not to send their kids to daycare ever or before they turn 2-2.5? What was the reason?

My son is 18 months, and is very happy with his nanny. I mostly work from home. He is super shy and is so much more comfortable at home than anywhere else. My heart and brain are telling me to not send him to a daycare but keep him with the nanny until he is at least 2-2.5. It will be expensive for me, but at least I will be assured he is happy at home and not crying at the daycare. He still breastfeeds and refuses to take any bottles.

I need someone to tell me that I am making the right decision of not sending him to the daycare yet lol.

Thanks!!

Edit: mistakenly wrote exclusively breastfed!

To my pre baby night owls, when did you get YOURSELF on a schedule? I used to sleep in till 11am sometimes even longer before having a baby. She had her nights and days confused so we’ve slowly been able to get her on a more normal schedule. She is officially a 6/6:30am riser naturally. It’s wonderful for her but also… hell for me. I’m getting more and more used to it and getting up with her. But as for now, she is my alarm clock which means I get no private time in the mornings. This isn’t really me looking for advice, more just seeing how long it took other parents to adjust. I know what I need to do (get used to it, and start setting an alarm for earlier if I want that time by myself). How long did it take you to start waking up before them and when did they stop being your alarm clock??

My little girl is 20 months old and I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.
She has to be beside me 24/7. If I leave the room, she follows me crying. She won’t play with her dad unless I’m sitting right there with them. If he tries to take her somewhere without me, she just wants to come back to me.
At home at the weekends I can’t cook, clean, or do anything because she wants me right next to her.
She will independently play when it’s just me and her in the house. But if theres anyone else around, her father, or family members, it’s back to having me next to her constantly.
Has anyone else’s toddler been this attached to them? Did they grow out of it, and if so, what helped? I’m exhausted and starting to feel like I can’t do anything alone for a second.
Any advice would be really appreciated

I’ve written to Reddit a couple times regarding my LO sleep. But to no avail, it’s the same story every night.

Up until this last week, baby would not sleep past 30 mins to an hour at night. Now the 1st stretch of the night usually is about 3-4 hours. But then after that, she’s up again every. Single. Hour. And it’s been like this for weeeksss. We have been trying to lay her down drowsy but awake but that’s been horrid. We lay her down and she will be content for 5 mins max then start crying (to be expected she’s only 3 months I know). Without going into too much detail, it usually results in to us having to rock her to sleep or “feed” to sleep (I put “feed” because she doesn’t actually eat anything but just likes to suck I believe)

Nap time hasn’t improved at all, if anything it’s gotten worse. Naps almost always had to be contact nap (which is awful because she WILL NOT be in a baby carrier as she loathes it. And I’ve spent a lot of money trying different brands). But occasionally I could set her in her bassinet for a 30 min nap.
NOW, I can’t even attempt a bassinet nap. She wakes instantly and it’s impossible to get her back to sleep. And even contact naps she’s struggling to sleep longer than 30 minutes.

Just for some context:
We breastfeed, but her bedtime feeding is with pumped breastmilk in a bottle. She won’t take a pacifier. We have established she has reflux and is on medication for that.

I feel like I have tried EVERYTHING. I watch her wake windows. Tried to shorten them and lengthen them. Watched her day time sleep and try to shorten/lengthen them. We have a bedtime routine. Bath, pjs, bottle, bed. It’s currently 2:50 am and we’re on our 3rd wake of the night. I impulsively bought taking Cara babies newborn course and 3-4 month course. Desperately willing to try anything but it doesn’t explain how to get to the point we are at right now to the point of where you can actually implement the techniques she suggested. $100 down the drain I’m sure.

Is there something wrong with me? My baby? I’m questioning my ability to be a good mom/parent if I can’t even figure out how to get my baby to sleep. Let alone the sleep deprivation is killing me.

Has anyone experienced this??? And what helped if anything? Does it actually get better??? I’ve been told it gets better since the day she was born and if anything it’s only gotten WORSE .

Sorry for anything spelt incorrectly or if my grammar is bad. I’ve been running on no sleep since being pregnant lol.

I just bought 6 of these things after having like 10 originally.

5 of the 6 are gone and all of the others are too. Where all they all going??

Ive checked under furniture, in things, under rugs/mats. I am so confused 😵‍💫😂

I did accidentally throw one away when she threw up everywhere the other day. Just scooped it up with the puke and didn't realize until after 😫. No I did not go diving into puke-y trash for it. 🤢

Sorry in advance for the rant.

Am I the only person who finds it extremely odd that so many people make celebratory posts on Linkedin about their career and company in the context of parental leave? I'm sure this is much more common in the US than it is elsewhere. But it almost feels like the companies are pressuring their employees to make a post about how great they are during the employee's leave.

I just saw a new mom say how wonderful her company is because she's got the flexibility to be home with her newborn while still being able to "stay connected to the work" through online team calls. Am I crazy in thinking this is not a flex whatsoever and kind of... sad? Like do we have to tie everything back to work? Our children?

I know a lot of people don't have the realistic ability to 100% step away from work (I probably fall into that category). But why are we praising that online? Shouldn't we be more critical of companies that make you feel pressured to "stay connected"?

Again, sorry for the rant.

Signed,

a US mom-to-be limited to 12 weeks of unpaid leave.

My almost 8 month old daughter is teething I guess. I can't see any sign of a teeth since she is resisting a lot when I try to look. She already has two lower ones and I think the second lower are growing. She is grumpy for 2 days now but my problem is that she bites my left nipple (right one not.so much). It was already painfull two days ago and she made a small wound but maan this hurts like hell.. This morning I tried giving her that breast and she bit it again so that the hole in my nipple is even larger. I ended up pumping that breast and giving her the bottle and I plan to do that until it heals eventhough the pumping itself is painful as well but at least the pump won't bite again..

My question is how to get on with breastfeeding with those dificulties. I mean I know she will stop bitting when it stops bothering her, I know it is painfull for her now but I am honestly so afraid of the upper teeth coming out since the lower are at least covered with the toungue. I can't go.through with breastfeeding if this will be happening all the time. I need some experience/solidarity/advice 🙏

My second question is: when did you introduce the third meal of solids? She eats very well for now and she has two solid meals a day. She started straining to poop like two weeks ago (when it started being more firm) but has no problems with not being able to. She reduced her breastfeeding needs already and looks at food like she would eat it all. I am thinking of introducing a third meal but am afraid not to make it too much for her digestive system eventhough she tolerates it well for now.

Thank you!

We have a 3.5 year old and recently welcomed a newborn just under two months ago.

The newborn HATES his car seat and hates car rides. Even fed, immediately changed diaper, burped, tired, and not too hot or cold, he will scream as soon as we put him in and won't stop for basically anything. It's miserable and it's preventing my wife from being able to pick up our eldest from day care, let alone go on >1 hour trips to see our parents.

What can we do to help? We think it's just being restrained that's bothering him so much, but we can't exactly unrestrain him in the car...

As above! Close friends are about to have a baby and I want to surprise them with a food care package when the baby arrives (just drop it at their nearby sisters to take around when she sees them, no attempt to push my company on them). Im thinking a variety of dishes that freeze well and are easy to heat up. They’re both vegetarian so I’ll definitely make them a veggie chilli and pick up a bag of quick cook rice for them.

I know people will probably say they just wanted quick food- but anything specific? I could do a mix of breakfasts and lunch/ dinner foods. I’m a competent and often adventurous cook but will be keeping it super simple for them.

Any tips appreciated :)

FTM to an awesome 4 month old, I’m back to work 3 10-hour days per week, and overall things are going really well. Baby and I are in good health, we have a wonderful nanny and will soon be doing a nanny share which will be much better financially. Baby seems to be thriving, honestly, albeit she is not a chill baby and needs almost constant entertainment/interaction.

What’s wearing on me currently is that I am NEVER. ALONE. It feels like I haven’t been alone since before the birth. Baby cosleeps with me which is the only thing that’s worked so far overnight (although she can nap in the crib now thankfully). My husband is great, but baby mostly just cries with him despite his best efforts, so I am definitely the preferred and primary caretaker. With the cosleeping, he really can’t help much with bedtime (which is often the hardest time). My job is in healthcare so there is also constant human interaction and it is also demanding.

I’m ok but it’s really hitting me that I am never alone, and I think that will cause more burnout than anything for my introverted self. I think the only times I’ve actually been alone since the birth are when I’m driving to/from the gym a couple times per week (or when baby is napping at home and i have up to 40 min to myself). Even my dog is with me when I drive to work.

i just feel SO spent tonight and wish i could get a real break. I hope this is not how I’m going to feel for years on end. Just looking for solidarity, some words of encouragement, or perhaps advice if you were in my shoes previously.

I was playing and singing with her and she actually chuckled! 13 weeks old, soon to be 14. I can’t wait till she does this more! It’s music to my ears! I’ve been feeling like she’s still a potato that smiles, but now she will be a potato that smiles and laughs!!!