My son is 4 months old now. He’s awesome. One of the things I was told a lot was to be careful because boys will be pee on you when you change their diaper!

Well, it was 3:30 in the morning. Unusual time for him to wake up, we’ve been blessed with him sleeping through the night lately. I check on him and he’s face down. Apparently he only wants to learn how to roll from his back to his stomach when it’s dark and no one’s looking. Shy kid, I get it.

So I start changing his diaper. I take a step away to toss the dirty diaper. Rookie mistake not putting the new one on first. I see a spray of pee hit the top corner of his changing table. Cool, didn’t hit me. But the stream starts going right. I watched in horror as my baby yawned and the stream cut right across his face, in his mouth.

I’m processing a lot of guilt and he’s deciding whether I tried to poison him or gave him some really foul milk. That is all. Thank you for listening.

I’ve literally never noticed until my son was born 5 weeks ago. When he finally goes down for a nap, opening ANYTHING sounds like an atomic bomb going off when we’re trying to be as quiet as possible. Doesn’t help that the little guy is a light sleeper during naps. Such a random stressor that we didn’t expect lol

First time parents to a 2 day old newborn. Gave birth Monday afternoon, discharged the following evening. The night we took him home, we noticed his temperature was low. We took his armpit temp, and watched it throughout the night. It would not progress more than 95.5-96.5, and this morning we decided to head straight to ER.

There were so many people sick that there was people in the hallway. I immediately felt like a terrible mom bringing him into this environment. The doctor was… something else. He walked in and shook my husband’s hand. He saw me laying in the bed and tapped my shoe and said hey mama. He walked over and looked at my baby, then touched his body without washing hands or anything. I’m terrified of my baby getting sick from this to the point it makes me sick.

We were so worried we didn’t even have a diaper bag packed or anything. The doctor even questioned why we weren’t feeding him enough but we were following our discharge instructions. He asked the department I gave birth in and they told the doctor a way higher amount of formula than what we were told. I’m scared they’re going to think we’re bad parents now because of this.
The doctor even questioned why we were checking his temperature in the first place. My husband said it’s because they told us if it was below 97, to go to ER as we were instructed.

Of course the room they put us in is FREEZING. They put my son on the warmer and his temperature would not go above a 98. They transferred us to the infant care unit. His temperature is now reading fine. The pediatrician thinks that this was an environmental issue, and my husband and I can’t help but wonder if maybe his bassinet being near our window AC unit next to my bed (along the wall and vents pointed away at low temperatures) could be the cause. We put him in a 1.5 tog sleep sack with a long sleeve sleeper underneath. We have a room thermostat that was reading at 72, but our plan when we get discharged is to move him to the opposite side of the bed.

They had to hook him up to a little IV and I sobbed. His blood tests are fine. Just waiting on the urine. I’m hoping that we can go home tomorrow.

I have not showered in days. The shower was a hand held in my postpartum room and I didn’t get to clean myself well. We are sleep deprived. So basically my last decent shower was before I gave birth. I feel disgusting, I feel horrified at the ER germs, and I just want my son to be healthy. I’m so worried about him. This is not how I wanted my post partum newborn stage to go at all. I am really struggling right now.

My LO is almost 8 months old and the shitty apartment my husband and I live in has no central AC. We live in Florida and the heat has been killer. We can't get our apartment colder than 82°F at night, and we're worried about SIDs due to high heat. We're getting a portable water cooling fan, but we're waiting for it to come in. We've tried everything to get our place to cool down, and our apartments aren't doing anything to help with the wall unit that's giving out due to the heat. Are there solutions we should be considering and how do we keep baby cool aside from leaving him in just his diaper alone in his crib?

Hello fellow new parents!

I wanted to offer some education regarding SIDS since there was a recent post about it, and I imagine many of us (myself included) have very legitimate fears about it.

SUID vs. SIDS

SIDS is a biological anomaly that is not obvious or observable via an autopsy. SUID (Sudden Unexpected Infant Death) is a newer umbrella term that SIDS falls under, but also includes accidental suffocation and asphyxiation.

As of the most recent studies, SUID impacts 0.1 percent of babies. If possible, I’d love each of you to take in a big deep breath and read this next part.

The odds are in your baby’s favor.

Years ago there was a national push for safe sleep practices, where babies are put to sleep alone (no bed sharing) on their backs, in an empty crib or bassinet. The number of deaths classified as SIDS fell dramatically. This showed researchers that many deaths once classified as SIDS were likely related to sleep environment and would now be classified differently under the broader term SUID.

And according to the CDC, up to 98.5% of SUIDS deaths (which again includes SIDS) had at least one unsafe sleep factor at the time of the tragedy.

Something else that’s important to note, because things like suffocation and rebreathing deaths cannot be observed on an autopsy, in these tragic cases, the cause of death can sometimes be listed as SIDS, which as I mentioned, true SIDS is the medical anomaly.

THE TRIPLE RISK MODEL

One of the leading scientific explanations for SIDS is the Triple Risk Model. Three risks are most likely to be present in the event of SIDS, often working as a chain, one that we can break at point #3. Breaking the chain doesn’t guarantee safety, but the science suggests it helps significantly.

(1) A biologically vulnerable baby, these are the ones who may experience the anomaly, which they believe is largely caused by an underlying brainstem abnormality that may impair the baby's ability to wake or respond appropriately to low oxygen or high carbon dioxide.

(2) The critical development period. This is when a baby’s brain and body changes functions for sleep and breathing. This is why ages 2-4 months are the most critical. Some speculate that vaccines cause SIDS but it is worth noting that vaccines and this window just happen to coincide.

(3) An environmental factor. A blocked airway, cigarette smoke, suffocation, rebreathing, overheating, etc.

Research shows that the following reduces the third risk significantly (even meeting one or two of these recommendations is good!)

(1) Safe sleep. Again, alone in their empty bassinet or crib.

(2) Room sharing. While the jury is still out on exactly why, it is speculated that subtle noises parents make in the middle of the night can help keep the baby’s brain alert and avoid falling into too deep of a sleep.

(3) Having a fan blowing GENTLY. Some studies suggest this is effective by keeping fresh air moving around baby’s face to reduce the risk of rebreathing (inhaling CO2 into their lungs, this can happen if the sleep surface is too soft (why couches, adult mattresses, baby loungers are not recommended) or if baby is on their stomach (before they’re old enough to roll).

(4) Offering a pacifier has been shown to reduce occurrences and the leading theory is that it keeps the brain engaged and keeps their airway open.

(5) Breastfeeding. Breastfed babies are generally easier to rouse. That said, formula feeding does not increase SIDS risk, it just doesn’t offer the same protection.

(6) Sobriety and maintaining a smoke-free environment for your baby.

This is more of a public recommendation — using a pulse/ox monitor. While monitors like the Owlet have not been shown to reduce or stop SIDS, they can possibly alert you to intervene if baby’s pulse or oxygen levels become poor. There currently isn’t any research that shows that if SIDS begins, parents can intervene and stop it, but this doesn’t mean it can’t either, there’s just no definitive proof and there’s no way to ethically study this. HOWEVER, occasionally the Owlet has been used as a safety net to start or continue sleeping practices that are not recommended, so please keep that in mind. Additionally, some parents report feeling more anxious with the use of these kind of monitors. I mention these because of their rise in popularity and are frequently discussed in comment sections regarding SIDS. My pediatrician said they are “complementary” to the expert recommendations.

My goal of writing all of this out is to provide both education and some comfort as many of us face the scary reality that yes, SIDS does exist, but we are not powerless in it. My prayer is that all of our precious and beloved babies grow up happy and healthy, and that their parents are able to get some sleep at night despite the very natural anxiety parenthood brings.

If desired I can make a similar post on PPA and intrusive thoughts if anyone is interested.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK513399/

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/13646-sudden-infant-death-syndrome-sids

https://publications.aap.org/aapgrandrounds/article-pdf/51/6/69/1641689/gr+june+2024_69.pdf

https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/153/3/e2023061984/196646/Characteristics-of-Sudden-Unexpected-Infant-Deaths

Hey moms and dad,

Did anyone here decided not to send their kids to daycare ever or before they turn 2-2.5? What was the reason?

My son is 18 months, and is very happy with his nanny. I mostly work from home. He is super shy and is so much more comfortable at home than anywhere else. My heart and brain are telling me to not send him to a daycare but keep him with the nanny until he is at least 2-2.5. It will be expensive for me, but at least I will be assured he is happy at home and not crying at the daycare. He still breastfeeds and refuses to take any bottles.

I need someone to tell me that I am making the right decision of not sending him to the daycare yet lol.

Thanks!!

Edit: mistakenly wrote exclusively breastfed!

I just bought 6 of these things after having like 10 originally.

5 of the 6 are gone and all of the others are too. Where all they all going??

Ive checked under furniture, in things, under rugs/mats. I am so confused 😵‍💫😂

I did accidentally throw one away when she threw up everywhere the other day. Just scooped it up with the puke and didn't realize until after 😫. No I did not go diving into puke-y trash for it. 🤢

So LO is 3 weeks old and by now I've seen 4 lactation consultants. 3 in the hospital before I was even discharged.

I've been getting so much conflicting info, each one saying to disregard everyone else. A big off putting thing is also how aggressive some of them are. LO has trouble latching and they'll keep pushing her into my breast over and over while manhandling us both while she screams and cries because she's hungry and probably confused and a little scared.

I know they say I need to be tough and push through, but I've started pumping and bottle feeding and using a shield just to stop distressing her so and getting her to eat.

Am I being too soft, and they're right? I'm not a sensitive person, but it's so off putting how aggressive their tactics are while my newborn is screaming so badly she's getting hiccups and chin quivering.

To my pre baby night owls, when did you get YOURSELF on a schedule? I used to sleep in till 11am sometimes even longer before having a baby. She had her nights and days confused so we’ve slowly been able to get her on a more normal schedule. She is officially a 6/6:30am riser naturally. It’s wonderful for her but also… hell for me. I’m getting more and more used to it and getting up with her. But as for now, she is my alarm clock which means I get no private time in the mornings. This isn’t really me looking for advice, more just seeing how long it took other parents to adjust. I know what I need to do (get used to it, and start setting an alarm for earlier if I want that time by myself). How long did it take you to start waking up before them and when did they stop being your alarm clock??

Our 14 month old daughter will flail and hit faces if she gets upset. For example, if she picks up something she shouldn’t have, and we pick her up and take it from her, she’ll hit our face. We thought it was only with us at home, but now it’s been 2 days that her teacher at daycare has mentioned it.

When it happens at home, we’ll say “gentle hands, we don’t hit” and model what that looks like (my husband will lightly touch my face in front of her).

Are there any other strategies that people have found effective? The teacher doesn’t sound too concerned, she said they’re working on gentle hands at school. I worry and don’t want her to be “the kid that hits”.

Sorry in advance for the rant.

Am I the only person who finds it extremely odd that so many people make celebratory posts on Linkedin about their career and company in the context of parental leave? I'm sure this is much more common in the US than it is elsewhere. But it almost feels like the companies are pressuring their employees to make a post about how great they are during the employee's leave.

I just saw a new mom say how wonderful her company is because she's got the flexibility to be home with her newborn while still being able to "stay connected to the work" through online team calls. Am I crazy in thinking this is not a flex whatsoever and kind of... sad? Like do we have to tie everything back to work? Our children?

I know a lot of people don't have the realistic ability to 100% step away from work (I probably fall into that category). But why are we praising that online? Shouldn't we be more critical of companies that make you feel pressured to "stay connected"?

Again, sorry for the rant.

Signed,

a US mom-to-be limited to 12 weeks of unpaid leave.

I was playing and singing with her and she actually chuckled! 13 weeks old, soon to be 14. I can’t wait till she does this more! It’s music to my ears! I’ve been feeling like she’s still a potato that smiles, but now she will be a potato that smiles and laughs!!!

We have a 3.5 year old and recently welcomed a newborn just under two months ago.

The newborn HATES his car seat and hates car rides. Even fed, immediately changed diaper, burped, tired, and not too hot or cold, he will scream as soon as we put him in and won't stop for basically anything. It's miserable and it's preventing my wife from being able to pick up our eldest from day care, let alone go on >1 hour trips to see our parents.

What can we do to help? We think it's just being restrained that's bothering him so much, but we can't exactly unrestrain him in the car...

When did your LO stop contact napping? Mine is 10 weeks and basically refuses to nap anywhere but on me. We attempt a crib nap for practice once a day but that has been pretty much completely unsuccessful. I enjoy the quiet time and am soaking up the snuggles but I’m starting to feel a bit trapped.

I thought this amount of time would be waaay too long but bubs is thriving despite many online sources saying it’s overtired territory.

Anyone else?

FTM to an awesome 4 month old, I’m back to work 3 10-hour days per week, and overall things are going really well. Baby and I are in good health, we have a wonderful nanny and will soon be doing a nanny share which will be much better financially. Baby seems to be thriving, honestly, albeit she is not a chill baby and needs almost constant entertainment/interaction.

What’s wearing on me currently is that I am NEVER. ALONE. It feels like I haven’t been alone since before the birth. Baby cosleeps with me which is the only thing that’s worked so far overnight (although she can nap in the crib now thankfully). My husband is great, but baby mostly just cries with him despite his best efforts, so I am definitely the preferred and primary caretaker. With the cosleeping, he really can’t help much with bedtime (which is often the hardest time). My job is in healthcare so there is also constant human interaction and it is also demanding.

I’m ok but it’s really hitting me that I am never alone, and I think that will cause more burnout than anything for my introverted self. I think the only times I’ve actually been alone since the birth are when I’m driving to/from the gym a couple times per week (or when baby is napping at home and i have up to 40 min to myself). Even my dog is with me when I drive to work.

i just feel SO spent tonight and wish i could get a real break. I hope this is not how I’m going to feel for years on end. Just looking for solidarity, some words of encouragement, or perhaps advice if you were in my shoes previously.

Our baby has CONSTANT blowouts - out the legs and out the back. We have tried Huggies, Pampers, rascals and Kirkland diapers and blowouts with all. He is around 15 lbs and using size 3 diapers. He blew out with size 2, so we moved to 3 on all of the above brands. No success. We flair out the frills/elastic around his legs. We make sure the band is secure. We leave the little pouch space near his bum. They are almost always fresh diapers.

I will mention that he almost exclusively poops after we feed him and have him sit in the bouncer to keep him upright to prevent spit ups so I’m thinking it’s because his bum is compressed and there’s nowhere for the poop to go but out? Please help lol.

2 weeks PP and I’m struggling with washing bottles. I’m losing my mind because I can’t sleep through the night. I don’t know if bottle washers are really necessary for us. Are they as efficient as hand washing? Is it super slow? And I guess my biggest concern is: parents who bought one, do you still use it months later?

My baby has been getting bored of his toys so I’ve been trying to get enough of a collection to have a rotation going. I ordered a bulk pack of baby toys off the Walmart website, 17 toys for $14 and yall they are just fine he loves them as much as any of his other expensive toys.(more, actually) I also ordered a couple clearance toys for $2, $3, or even $1 and was really surprised how great the quality is when they arrived! lol I know it seems obvious but I’m just so happy, I’m never getting the $10 single toys again. Thought I’d share. Of course random household objects are also a win, but these cheap toys have actually held his attention longer than any of his other ones and it’s great

Our baby has always been on the fussy and intense side. Lots of crying and screaming for the first 3 months. Then it slowly got better but now at almost 1 year old, he’s still very intense. Lots of screaming if things don’t go exactly his way or if he’s overtired. He’s never been a good sleeper either. And now with teething every day feels like a war. I keep thinking I got the hard baby, especially when seeing my friends’ babies just ‘vibing’. Does anyone have babies with a similar temperament? Are they still hard as toddlers and when can I reasonably go about my day without worrying he’ll have a meltdown any minute?

Our little one is 10 months now, and we have read online and heard from other family members and cousins that a baby or toddler shouldn't transition to 1 nap until after 1 year old (between 12 to 18 months).

Recently, two or three times in the past 2 weeks, our LO only did 1 nap. And didn't do a second. We tried to put him down his normal second nap time around 4pm but he resisted. We were honestly kind of shocked. On those days he usually did one long nap from around 11:30am to 1:30pm and then surprisingly lasted all the way until bedtime at 8pm after that. He totally skipped his 4pm nap. Now, he was getting quite cranky by then, but I was shocked he made it so long without having to sleep.

We aren't sure what to make of this...... is this is him transitioning to 1 nap now? Or if those 2 or 3 times are just an anomaly and we should still be trying to make sure he gets two solid naps.

At what age did you LO go down to 1 nap consistently? Before 1 year old is not really normal, right?

ANYTHING to get my 10m old breastfed baby to sleep at night!! Please send all your advice ive tried everything i can think of!
Cannot wean him yet but the hourly wake ups are sooooo bad

Most of the time I absolutely love everything about being a mom to be achingly adorable son.
Also most of the time I have no idea what day it is or if I ate breakfast.
I’m a stay at home mom, who also works from home since he was 4mon old.
He is exclusively breastfed still, and has been since day 1. He has only ever had ONE bottle in his entire life. All boob, all the time.
He nurses to sleep for every nap, to get to bed, and at every wakeup (typically 2-5 times a night he wakes and needs to pop on the boob to go back to sleep. We cosleep.)
I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve slept for just a single stretch of 4-5hrs straight. I’m awake all day, and get about 5hrs in 1-2hr increments every night for the last year+ of my life (I also could not sleep while pregnant.)
He eats solids now too which is great. Doesn’t help sleep tho.
He’s been walking since 10 months old, at which time we moved his giant playpen (Amazon) into his room to be a his new nap area. I lay down and side lying feed him to sleep for his naps and slither away until he wakes up 35mins later and I repeat until he’s gotten at least 1.5hrs of sleep (do this twice a day for each nap; occasionally he will sleep for 1.5hr straight HALLELUJAH but that is a rare occurrence)
He simply will not let anyone put him DOWN for sleep. Transfer=impossible. Up until 10months I was holding him for every single nap. Every single day.

Idk what other people do or what their actuality is with their kiddos. I have no regrets for anything I’ve done to take care of he and I all this time, I’ve always made decisions based on what feels best for both him AND me. The sleep deprivation is crazy but I’m used to it at this point.
It won’t last forever, but it is fucking nuts sometimes lol. Godbless people with babies who sleep independently!

Wouldn’t have it any other way. Not looking for any advice, just sorta venting and hoping someone can find some solidarity/peace if you’re living the same kind of life these baby days lol.

Have a wonderful day! 💛

I’m 38 and we recently decided we want to have a child.

Is raising a child without outside family support doable?

My parents are deceased and my husband’s parents are moving to another country soon.

My husband works 2 days remote, 3 days in office (he’s an accountant). I’m currently finishing up nursing school. I don’t know what my work situation will be as a nurse, I’m hoping to get it an outpatient M-F position without nights/call.

My baby is only 10 months so we’re not there yet but I was just thinking about next stages and wondering - when did you actually let your child sleep with a pillow and blanket? I’ve let her use a small blanket when she’s napped on the couch with my eyes on her right beside her the entire time, but obviously not at night or in her crib alone as she’s too young.

But at what age did you introduce them? Did you do both a pillow a blanket at the same time? Were they still in a crib or had they moved onto a bed? Thanks!