3 months ago I started a new job in my home state. My previous job was in a neighboring state. According to multiple resources and customer service reps, I'm unable to file for paid family medical leave for either state. Haven't accumulated enough PTO to give myself some time, either. Anytime I take will be unpaid which we simply cannot afford.

We now have to ask my wife's mother to stay with us because my wife is having a C-section and she'll need help recovering and caring for our children. Ill have to miss this important time to go to work because we cant afford unpaid leave.

This place absolutely SUCKS sometimes

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I spend most of my time at work, church and with kiddos at home. Even working out feels like a check mark to stay healthy when it was a pleasure years ago. I don’t golf or do anything.
I’m blessed but feel like I’m not living life to fullest with nothing outside of the office, church or home every evening . It’s normal for dads not to have hobbies right?

Coparent my two year old boy and I work swing shift 4 on 4 off. I have him on my days off and we have memberships to the zoo and science museum (both free of charge). Both are 25 minutes from home and zero cost when going. How often would you be taking your child there? Is once a week too often or reasonable? For what it's worth he's extremely well mannered.

It’s been a month since I lost my son griff on Father’s Day last month. My entire world is shattered and I don’t know how I’m still waking up everyday and living, I guess I’m just surviving. A month ago, I went upstairs to wake him up, we were supposed to go get breakfast and it was my weekend. I opened his door and he didn’t answer me, I thought he was still asleep. I still don’t know exactly why or how, he went to sleep like normal and never woke up. I don’t know how a person can be here one night and not be here the next morning. I don’t understand it and I don’t think I ever will. His mom and I have been divorced for 6 years, we’ve always gotten along and we both loved him. It was my weekend and he was at my house. He was supposed to go back to her house after. He was supposed to keep living his life, he had the whole summer. He had friends, he had a whole life that was supposed to keep going, and now none of it is happening. I still think about how he was supposed to go to his moms house, I still think about how he was supposed to come back to my house after, I still think of normal things that won’t happen anymore. I don’t even know if I can explain why I have guilt, because I don’t know what or if I could’ve done. I was there, I found him, I tried to help him. None of that stops me from wondering what if I checked on him earlier. I know people tell me not to blame myself, but I’m his dad. I have other children and I love them, but losing him has made me feel like I don’t know how to be a person anymore. There are times when I just want to be left alone and I feel horrible saying that. People keep asking what they can do for me, and the answer is nothing. None of it brings him back, and none of it makes sense. I would give anything. He loved sports, baseball and hockey were our entire lives, it was my entire schedule. I used to complain about it sometimes, I want these problems again. I have almost every jersey he ever wore, I have his t ball jerseys all the way up to 17u. His room is exactly how he left it, dirty dear and socks everywhere. I don’t want to clean or touch anything. I miss everything, I would give anything to have one more normal day.

This is weird so I had to share it somewhere. My 4yo was reading an old Highlights magazine during dinner when he excitedly pointed out that he had "the puzzle of this." It looked familiar to me too, so I grabbed the puzzle my wife had thrifted a couple of months ago and...this can't be coincidence right? The longer I look at it, the more similar they actually are. The split level, the sign, the rocks at the front, the store selling rope. Look at the soccer ball! The magazine is from 2016 and the puzzle is from 2023 so I'm pretty sure they were both hand drawn.

Planning a quick road trip with a 4 and 2 year old, will be staying at a hotel and looking for any travel bed recommendations for the younger one as she's outgrown the pack and play. Thanks dads.

Would love some feedback from dads who've been through anything similar. I know the obvious answer is talk to her teacher and I fully intend to this afternoon, but I figure a little extra info gather couldn't hurt.

My almost 4 year old daughter is generally a very well behaved kid. She is not particularly rebellious at home, she says please and thank you, she understands inside voice, etc. etc. -- we give her lots of room to sing and giggle and be rambunctious when appropriate, and she complies well when told those behaviors are not appropriate.

When she's with us.

Today is the third day this week that daycare has sent home a report of her being disruptive and waking up her classmates at naptime.

This obviously has a very bad ripple effect. The class is grumpy for the whole afternoon and the teachers are robbed of an important opportunity to eat lunch and decompress

Today was apparently particularly bad. She got up from her mat and started kicking chairs, and when the teacher asked her to please be quiet and respectful to her classmates, she started yelling 'NO'.

She's no longer napping at home. I honestly don't think she needs the sleep (I know there are parents who think their kids don't need naps because their kids just refuse them but then they're grumpy monsters all afternoon -- this is not the case here. Her sleep needs significantly dropped off recently).

But we do still enforce quiet time when she's at home and we're not out doing stuff. Everyone in the house does quiet activities or naps for about an hour. It's typically a needed reset.

Every time daycare sends home a report like this, we have been extremely consistent with boundaries and discipline. Talks about why the behavior is bad, roleplay where she plays the teacher and we play the disruptive kids (and vice versa), and two times ago we started taking away her stuffies at bedtime. A meaningful punishment as she loves chatting with them before she goes to sleep.

And when we pick her up and she's in trouble for messing up naptime, she's very contrite and apologetic. Doesn't seem like she doesn't care.

But then today happened with just total open insubordination, so I'm lost.

It just seems like a real dad thing to do.

It was pretty stressful, but we got everything done in time. We’d been prepping for a natural birth, but first the mucus plug came out, and then her water broke — pink-colored. We called the doctor, sent him a photo, and he told us to get to the maternity hospital.

When we arrived, they wanted to admit my wife and wait for contractions to start, but after the CTG the doctor called for a C-section and got there fast. On the CTG the heart rate had dropped from 134 to 119. In the end everyone’s alive and healthy — and now I’m a father.

My friends are having a baby this fall. I asked my four year old if she had any advice for the dad to be. She said that he should act like me and he would be a good dad. This is coming from the same kid who said she hated me as much as the world last week.

I live in an area with Mennonites. They typically drive Honda civic or accords. Mennonites around this area are typically going to buy nicer vehicles for economic reasons whether that is initial purchase price, quality product, reliability, and/or resale.

I have 4 daughters. My oldest is 11 so I have time to start acquiring vehicles or research. Like most I hope my kids go to college then start a family afterwards. If not though they start into life. Would a Honda accord/civic be a good car with great reliability and longevity to get them several years past 22 years old? Im leaning towards accords because of the bigger car to fit life into.

P.s. I hate haggling. Im cheap as F though. If I buy used. What mileage, years, and model packages would you stay away from? Im sure theres a car salesman dad in this sub that can lend in.

My girlfriend is due to give birth soon, and I’m honestly really nervous about being in the delivery room.

I love her, I’m excited to become a dad, and I want to support her. But the thought of actually seeing a baby come out is making me feel sick. I’m someone who gets grossed out pretty easily, and I’m worried I’ll either pass out or end up kind of traumatized by it.

One thing I’m almost embarrassed to admit is that I’m also worried it might affect how I see her sexually afterward. I’m not trying to be disrespectful or say anything negative about women giving birth. I know it’s an incredible thing, and I have so much respect for what she’s about to go through. I’m just wondering if actually seeing it happen could change intimacy for me in a bad way.

For the dads or partners who were there for the birth, did it affect your attraction to your partner afterward? Did it make intimacy awkward, or was it completely different once the moment was over?

I’m looking for honest experiences, whether positive or negative. Please don’t roast me too hard. I’m genuinely anxious and trying to figure out what’s best for both of us.

I made the greatest dad joke of my life today to my five year old, and it completely flew over her head with no one else around to appreciate it, so I’m posting it here.

She was explaining to me very matter of factly that her stuffed capybara was her baby, and her stuffed otter was the capybara’s baby. I asked her if the otter was her grand-otter.
I was met by silence.
I’ll show myself out now.

We have a 4.5 year old boy who is starting at a Waldorf school (no mention of what happened to Statler…) in the fall. Seems like it will be a good fit in terms of being outside a lot, and less screen dominated than other places in our area.

The one concern we have is that they don’t generally teach the kids to read until ~2nd grade. Our son is a “full-send” style kid, in terms of bouncing off the walls with energy, but he’s expressed that he wants to learn how to read ASAP.

Is there a book, app, website, etc that people have used in the past and liked? My wife tried the Lovevery one but it wasn’t a fit.

Any advice / tips appreciated!

My son turned three last Saturday and it was a great day until the gifts were opened. My sister-in-law, who has zero children and lives in a perfectly quiet apartment, decided to buy him this massive plastic fire truck. Here is the problem. It does not have a volume knob. It does not even have an off switch. It just has a giant yellow button that my son has been pressing for forty-eight hours straight.

This thing is so LOUD that I can hear it through two closed doors and a pair of noise-canceling headphones. It plays this high-pitched siren followed by a voice that yells "Let's go save the day!" every five seconds. I tried to hide it in the closet last night, but my son found it at 6 AM and started the concert again.

The lack of self-awareness from people without kids is just ABSURD. They think they are being the "fun aunt" but they are actually just handing us a ticket to a migraine. I spent all day in meetings and I came home to a house that sounds like a construction site in the middle of a carnival.

I should of checked the box for batteries before he saw it. I could of told him it was broken. But now it is too late and he is emotionally attached to this screaming plastic demon. I am seriously considering accidentally dropping it down the stairs tonight. Why is this even a thing?

Hey fellow dads! I’m 31 with a beautiful baby girl. As the title says I’m the first in my friend group to have a kid and don’t see that changing in the next few years. Obviously my # 1 priority is my family but I think it’s really important to maintain my friend relationships. Have you busy dads been able to maintain friendships with non dad friends (or friends in general) or have certain friendships fizzled out a bit?

Hey everyone I'm 26yr Dad who is having a second child in a week by now. I work for Allied Universal Security and they don't offer paternity leave pay but I do qualify for the State of California EDD Paternity leave for 8 weeks. I've read online that it can take up to 2 weeks for me to get approved or receive any money at all.

Issue I'm having is I get paided weekly and having 2 weeks of unpaid is horrible. I don't have anything saved up because it's hard to be able to save up anything now a days and I've had to many things happening in my life where I had to withdraw from Roth IRA and savings. Now im kinda cooked. My wife is at high risk of C Section and she will literally need all the help she can get to recover after labor. Which I hope she doesn't have to do that and able to do natural birth.

I really want to take the time off to help my wife and spend time with my newborn kiddo. I've been attempting to also sell my collection online to make enough money to save for rent and bills. I usually don't like asking for help but this is me asking for help now. I've been stressing on what to do, please if anyone can give me some advice on anything from what I've said like with the EDD how can I get them to process it faster? Do I get weekly cheeks or can I get the full 8 weeks amount right

away or idk.

Listened to a podcast recently about how kids applying to colleges write about their traumas growing up and how they overcame it.

I'd like to think my 2 year old lives a pretty trauma free life, so what kind of trauma can I manufacture for him so he can get into a good college?

Going back to work after 4 weeks of sick leave. I have a hybrid schedule and today is my first day in office. I'm sad I'm in office and not to get to see my little one. I wish I can just work from home 40 hrs a week or just take care of her overall. Also worried about my wife being home alone with my daughter, just hoping they're okay… an extra hand goes a long way.

Reminds me that scene with Homer going to work and he’s “doing it for her.”

So my family, when we've gone to different cities, has really liked the old style swing sets that aren't swinging from in metal chains, rubber coated, that sort of easy-build stuff that most swing sets are these days. My family says the way they swing from the ropes is just different - higher quality. They are impressed and want one from one of our trees.

I'm young. Any older dads got any advice on how to build a proper old style swing for biggest gradual swoop that feels like you're flying? Best tying methodologies, what to avoid, how to pick the best tree?

One thing these swings had in common is that they all had rope entering from four points on the bottom of the swing, I think, but otherwise, I'm wondering where would be best to tie off the rope off to get that blissful glide.

Thanks in advance.

Hey all,

Just having a hard go of it the last few months, looking for kind words or advice.

My son was born late last year and, following my return from paternity leave, my employer and I mutually agreed to part ways. I did receive a sizable severance, but that’s almost gone.

I took a few months to spend with my son as we had some issues getting a daycare (still are but that’s another story) but now I’m trying to find a job and take care of my son and it’s a nightmare. I’m interviewing probably 3 times a week so I have to leave my son with his grandmother, but then I have been interviewing for a couple months now unsuccessfully and it feels like being pulled in both directions hasn’t served me well at all. I obviously need a job, but coming from customer success in saas previously, the market sucks right now and every employer wants to role play with me (read: make me spend gratuitous time preparing slides/presentations/prompts).

Anyone else get out of this situation eventually? Kinda hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I know it only takes one offer but still. Luckily my wife is paid well so we’re not in totally dire straits, it’s more effecting my confidence as a dad and a husband

My wife and I have two boys, 10.5 months apart. After that we decided that if we wanted more we'd adopt but certainly not a newborn, maybe a toddler or the like. So we got rid of all our baby stuff as we imagined we wouldn't need it ever again.

Well my wife starts getting the itch that she wants another and she no longer wanted to adopt. I told her if the Knicks win the chip I'll gladly oblige.

Well after game 4 watching OG put the tip in... Either way she's pregnant and we have no baby stuff. I made a comprehensive list of all the things, based on my years of experience, that I will be purchasing.

Bottles

Diapers

A crib

Infant car seat

Baby carrier

The rest of stuff was nonsense and ultimately unnecessary. So if you're a dad to be who is strapped for cash, this is all you need.

Eta: also wipes and rash cream. Additionally my kids are 4&5 now, I think my post made him seem like they were still babies, or at the very least that's what some people commenting down below seem to think.

We have a 5mo baby
Husband is a shift worker and picks up sometimes 80-100 hour fortnights he leaves sometimes at 5.30am gets home at 6pm and will then go play sport for like 3 hours
He’s exhausted he gets home and falls asleep I feel like he’s missing out on our baby and doesn’t care
She will lie on his chest and babble and smile and stare at him and he just watches the TV and I go oh she’s looking at you she’s talking to you and he just dismisses me. It breaks my heart. I’m still getting paid as well on maternity leave, and we make 3-4k in savings on top of expenses so he doesn’t have to be away all the time. I feel like he doesn’t care about our baby.