This is the first time I’m posting on Reddit after a couple years of lurking because to be honest, it’s kind of urgent. Me (18M) and my girlfriend (18F) have been together for almost 10 months come the 24th and it’s been a hell of a 10 months. I love her to death and I would do anything for her, but as of late, a lot of concerning things are coming up that are lowkey scaring me and making me think. We’ve had a couple of prior issues in the past that we’ve managed to get through, but this is something I’m not sure if I can even come up with a solution to.

For starters, the conversation began after I met with a US Air Force recruiter for the first time. I’ve been considering for a long period of time in the back of my mind for a backup plan in case I felt like college wasn’t for me or I couldn’t figure out something else to push my life in the right direction. Now, I’m taking the steps forward to serve. Understandably, my girlfriend has a lot of concerns toward it, like with the political situation of the country at the present moment or the amount of time that it’ll take for me to finish all the training. I definitely get where she’s coming from in the fact that it’ll affect our relationship, but there’s a lot of things that we talked about prior to this particular conversation that I kind of took note of. For example, she’s told me in the past that once I go in the military, she’ll just go wherever I’m stationed in order for us to be together and plan her future based off of what I’m doing. To me, I felt like that was crazy. She’s been going to college to become a teacher for younger kids and during high school, she was in an early college program getting credits that way as well. It’s like she’s willing to stunt her own growth and watch her dreams burn in order to follow me and invest in mine.

So in regards to the major issue at-hand, I told her about the time that’d take to become an airmen. My recruiter told me about the process when it came to taking my ASVAB, going into basic training and getting specific training for whatever job I book into at tech school. When I told her about it, she said that after I graduate tech school and get stationed to my first base, we’d just have to get married because if not, it’d feel like our relationship was for nothing. I kind of stopped talking for a minute because at first, I thought she was joking but she was dead serious.

It’s like it completely shifted the mood and tone for the rest of the night. I understand she’s scared, she’s told me her concerns about me leaving, being in a new environment around people and ideas I haven’t been exposed to before. But the way that she talks about marriage, especially at our age considering my parents had me and got married at 19 and 18 respectfully, really scares me too.

Another minor concern I have is in regard to her family. Her family’s pretty cool for the most part and they’ve welcomed me in when they really didn’t have to, especially for how young we are. But we’re an interracial couple; I’m black and she’s white. It’s never affected our relationship. Of course, we do live in the South, so we’ve both noticed eyes. But, she’s mentioned to me a couple of times where her mom’s said the N-word audibly and told her that that doesn’t make her racist. There’s been times where we’ve gone to parties or environments where there’s majority Black people and despite my girlfriend going out extremely often, normally with no restrictions or conversation with her mom, that’s when her mom decides to tell her to be extremely careful and watch her surroundings. Around me, that’s not an issue and she’s pretty cool but that’s what scares me. We’ve had personal conversations and heart-to-hearts and despite that, that’s how she talks. And if we were to get married and have a family of her own, I just wonder if that’s how she’d talk when her grandkids would be people of color.

That’s the situation. I was just wondering if anyone could chime in and let me know what they think about it. I don’t really know where to go from here.

My mom and dad split up about twenty years ago, he remarried about 3 years after the divorce. Growing up both my sister and I got along with our new stepmother, but their marriage wasn't without it's faults. Now, me (23F) and my sister (24F) are living in the same town and working similar jobs. My dad and stepmother had another daughter who is now 13 and still living with them. Around the beginning of this year my stepmother started posting podcast clips from marriage counselers on facebook, at first it wasn't anything too extreme, typical "healthy marriage dynamics stuff" also around this time my sister and I began noticing some behavior changes in both my dad and my stepmom, the house seemed more calm, they seemed to be on the same page more often, we were extremely proud of them for rebuilding what hadn't been working in the past years. Since then, things have gotten out of hand. The podcast clips being posted on my stepmom's facebook started becoming less about marriage and more about the "woman's role" in a marriage. She began adding captions that explicitly described how my dad was treating her into "submission" and how she "couldn't be happier." My dad has began giving ME (a single gay woman) advice on how I need to submit to a man and let him take care of me as his "biological duty" whatever the fuck that means. In the past 6 months the following incidents have taken place:

1. My sister, brother in law and I popped in for a surprise visit to my dad's house, we were greeted at the door by my 13 year old sister. We asked where my dad and stepmom are at and she responded simply with "they've been in their room since this afternoon, they told me not to knock" we ended up taking her out of the house and out to dinner, they did not call to ask about her until later that night.

2. My stepmother has posted multiple facebook photos wearing a neck shackle, padlock necklaces and/or DOG COLLARS around her neck, taking the photos at angles that are clearly making the necklaces a focal point

3. At a 4th of July barbecue, my stepmom repeatedly referred to my father as "daddy" not only to me and my siblings, but to people who have no relation to my father at all, family friends, coworkers, and even acquaintances.

About a month ago, my sisters boss approached her and asked quite bluntly "what's going on with your parents?" my sister said she simply didn't have an answer. All she could muster up was "I have no idea." Around the same time, my boss and coworkers asked me a similar question and admitted that the pictures they were seeing on facebook of my stepmother made them a little uncomfortable. We live in an extremely small town, almost every resident has known my dad since he was a kid, so having people ask about how he and our family are doing isn't completely out of the ordinary, but these comments have my sister and I extremely embarrassed. After the 4th of July, my little sister confided in me that some of the girls on her basketball team were calling her parents weird and "freaky". This absolutely broke my heart, my little sister is homeschooled and overall a very shy kid. She has always had a hard time making friends and engaging in conversation with kids her age, so hearing that my parents' sex life is potentially jeopardizing my little sister's social life at an already fragile age made me upset and humiliated.

Both my older sister and I have sat down and had conversations with our father about how we aren't comfortable being approached in public about their sex life. He brushed it off pretty casually saying something along the lines of "that's messed up, it's not anyone else's business" and while I agree, that sentiment does virtually nothing to help any of his daughters. I want to make clear, I am not saying my parents shouldn't have a healthy sex life, I do not care what they choose to do in their marriage. However, I am worried for my little sister who is still living with them and has nowhere else to go, and I am sick of having to advocate for them when they continuously make everyone else blatantly aware of their lifestyle. I am happy they have found a marriage dynamic that works so well for them, but I wish I knew WAY LESS about it. Reddit, how to I fix this??

P.S. for anyone who might be confused: I am 23, my older sister is 24, my little sister is 13 and does not share the same mom as me and my older sister. I would like to keep them as anonymous as possible.

UPDATe: Before I could message her she kicked me out of her bridal party.

Hello! I need outside perspectives please because I am obsessing and stressing over this and cannot tell whether I am being reasonable or a terrible friend.

One of my close friends is getting married next year. She is also supposed to be a bridesmaid in my wedding which is coming up in a few months so this feels especially emotionally tricky.

Months ago, she floated the general idea of doing a destination bachelorette trip. I was generally supportive. She had a pricey location in mind but other than that no complete schedule or actual cost given. Just vague figures. Thought when planning got more serious I would have time to speak up early. Nope.

The first proposed schedule I heard was basically Monday through Friday. I immediately said that taking an entire workweek off would be difficult for me and that I could probably only attend for part of it.

The schedule then shifted to Thursday through Monday. Once I learned that, I said I could not stay through Monday and would need to leave on Sunday. I thought that was a fairly normal compromise: attend Thursday through Sunday, participate in most of the trip, and avoid having to take yet another day off work.

At this point, I still had not been told what the trip would actually cost.

Then we received a message saying that she was essentially ready to book it and would proceed. Just like that. I had to ask cost; that was when we were finally told the lodging would be around $1100 per person.

The destination is also roughly an eight-hour drive from me each way. That means the $1100 would only cover lodging. It would not include gas, groceries, restaurant meals, drinks, activities, excursions, or anything else planned during the trip.

Once I saw the actual cost, I messaged her privately and told her that I could not afford it.

Her response was not openly cruel and I do believe she was trying to make it work, but the tone made me feel like the issue was that I had not planned or saved properly rather than that the trip itself was outside my budget.

She pointed out that the trip was still a long time away and suggested that I could start setting money aside for it now. She broke it down into a smaller monthly or weekly savings amount, basically saying that I had time to save for it.

I understand the logic but saving the money gradually does not change the fact that I would still be spending more than $1100 on lodging alone. I do not think it is financially responsible for me to allocate that much money to one bachelorette trip. I’m not in the best place financially, I have a lot of obligations and it sucks but that’s how it is right now.

She then offered another option where I could pay by the night rather than paying the entire chunk. I genuinely appreciate that she tried to offer an alternative but that is still around $250ish per night. Even if I only stayed one or two nights, I would still be paying around $250–$500 for lodging, plus gas, food, activities, and sixteen total hours of driving. Driving eight hours each way for one night also feels kind of insane. I would spend almost as much time traveling as I would actually spend at the destination.

I have been trying to convince myself that I should force one or two nights to work because I feel so guilty, but once I add everything together, even the shortened version is still outside what I can reasonably afford.

I’m gearing up for my own wedding and she is supposed to be standing beside me in it soon. I’m freaking terrified that declining her trip will create resentment or tension before my wedding or affect our friendship.

For comparison, I kept my own bachelorette relatively low-key (if you can call it that because it was still a trip, invited all our friends and significant others, combined Bachelor and Bachelorette). It was Thursday through Sunday, about two hours away, and the lodging was around $280 per person. Attendance was optional and I tried to keep the cost and travel manageable for everyone. We planned everything out together in a groupchat.

I know she is allowed to want a completely different bachelorette experience. I am not saying that because my trip cost $280, hers is required to cost the same. I mention it because I really tried to consider what the people attending could reasonably manage (including myself!) and I think that influenced what I assumed the planning process for her trip would look like.

I thought there would be a conversation about budgets, distance, and availability before someone announced that they were about to book a house costing each person more than $1,000. I did not realize that generally expressing interest months ago would be treated as agreeing to any eventual destination, schedule, and price.

I also think I could have brought up a specific budget sooner. That is the part I feel guilty about. I did raise concerns about the weekday schedule and the amount of time away as those details emerged, but I did not specifically say, “My maximum lodging budget is X,” because I thought the cost would be discussed before we locked everything in.

Now I feel like my choices are either to spend money I do not believe I can responsibly spend or disappoint a close friend who is about to be in my own wedding.
We left it last night where I tried to bow out and she said pay nightly instead. I have my message written in response that gives her love and apologies but holds firm that I cannot make this work. Ended it saying I’ll be there every step of the way for her wedding and I’m sorry and I love her.

Am I being unfair by backing out after initially saying I wanted to attend? Should I have been expected to start saving once the general trip was mentioned, even though I did not know the final cost? Does the offer to pay by the night make this reasonable enough that I should force myself to attend briefly? How would you handle this knowing the bride is supposed to be one of your bridesmaids very soon?

TL;DR: A close friend who is also supposed to be in my wedding soon planned a bachelorette trip hours away by car. Dates were discussed. The lodging cost was not revealed until she said she was basically about to book, at which point we learned it would be $1100 per person before gas, food, or activities. When I said I could not afford it, she suggested I had plenty of time to save and later offered to let me pay nightly after I tried to gracefully bow out. Even a shortened trip still feels financially irresponsible but I am terrified of damaging the friendship or creating tension before my wedding.

PLEASE share your stories and perspectives. I need advice please. I feel like such a shit friend, this is so hard. Thank you for reading. 🫶🏼

don’t even know where to start. My heart and my life feel like they’ve shattered into a million pieces.

​Up until a week ago, my boyfriend (1.5 years together) was the most loving, caring, and wonderful partner I could have ever asked for. Just the day before he left, he surprised me at work out of nowhere just to see me. I felt so loved and secure.

​Then he left for a trip to the mountains with his friends, staying at a buddy’s apartment. Almost immediately, everything flipped 180 degrees. He completely started ignoring me. He pulled away, barely replied to my messages, and left me feeling like I was losing my mind. I knew in my gut that something was horribly wrong.

​When he finally came back, he acted distant and cold, as if he was waiting for me to break up with him. He had two full days to come clean or talk to me, but he stayed silent. Finally, I pressed him, and the truth came out.

​He admitted that while on the trip, he stayed close to a girl he literally met a week ago (who is visiting from abroad and leaves in a week). He confessed to:

​Sleeping right next to her while holding her hand.

​Going on evening walks with her, holding hands.

​Cuddling with her and having her sit on his lap.

​Emotional intimacy that went far beyond "friendship."

​He looked me in the eye and told me he thinks he "likes her" and felt a "spark" with her - a spark he claims had faded between us.

​At first, he acted cold. He said he wanted to break up, that he didn't deserve a second chance, and that he didn't even want one. Then, his story shifted, and he started claiming that "it wasn't actually cheating."

​Now, he’s spiraling and spamming me with horribly long messages begging for forgiveness. He says he suddenly realized what he lost, apologizing profusely, and literally told me he "destroyed his house for a night in a hotel." He is begging for another chance and claims that while it was happening, he didn't realize what he was doing or view it as cheating.

​To me, this is both physical and emotional cheatin, and the emotional betrayal hurts ten times worse. I feel so much disgust thinking about how he could do this after everything we built. That he could bond like that with some other girl that he wont see ever again.

​I’m completely lost. Cheating has always been an absolute dealbreaker for me, but I’m struggling to process this:

​Is it even possible for someone to "not realize" this was cheating, or is that just a pathetic excuse to shift guilt?

​How do I actually leave when I know in my head I have to, but my heart physically can't bring itself to let go?

​Is giving a second chance in a situation like this ever realistic, or am I just holding onto the ghost of who he used to be?

​I feel sick to my stomach and just need some honest advice or perspective from people who have been through this.

​TL;DR: My loving boyfriend of 1.5 years went on a trip, held hands, slept next to, and cuddled another girl he met a week ago. He claimed he felt a "spark," initially wanted to break up, then denied it was cheating, and is now begging for forgiveness saying he regrets "destroying his house for a night in a hotel." I feel broken and don't know how to walk away.

I‘m 44 (w) and 6 weeks pregnant. For many years i tried to get pregnant with IVF but all pregnancies ended in a miscarriage. That‘s why I told my new partner (44) that probably there is no need for us to use birth control but I offered that we could if he wanted to. He has three kids already and doesnt want any more.
The impossible thing happened and I got pregnant, despite perimenopause and all doctors telling me it is too late for me.
Now my partner told me I have to decide between him and the baby but how can I make a decision between the two most important parts of my life??😭

I do feel too old and very tired to do this all by myself😢

UPDATE- We had the sit-down talk; I included my brother, who was surprisingly pretty chill about it. We told him that it's completely normal to have those urges, and we both jacked off when we were his age, so he's not some freak. However, we had to lay down a hard boundary: his uncle works a hard warehouse job, and coming home to that on the shower floor for anyone to trip on in is just inconsiderate, accident or not. So now he is limited to all those activities in his bedroom. To help him out, I ordered some adult toy cleaner off Amazon for him, which I will leave on his bed when it comes in, and told him to make sure he cleans that stuff because an infection down there is gnarly. We also promised not to tell anyone around the house because no one wants to be unnecessarily embarrassed. But made it crystal clear that if this happens again and his brother or special needs sister finds it it's going to be a real problem. Lesson learned, and a boundary he hopefully only needs to be taught once

Throwaway account for obvious reasons.
My son lives downstairs along with my older brother (55), and they share a communal bathroom. My brother works the night shift. Last night at around 3:00 AM, my brother went to use the bathroom, and he found my son's pocket pussy sitting right out in the open.
My brother didn't want to touch it, so he used a paper towel, moved it slightly, and left it there for him to find in the morning.
Here is my dilemma: I'm not really mad that he has it. He's 14, but he's already 6'2, built like a brick wall, super strong, and genuinely looks like he's 19. Because of how he looks and the physical presence he has, people sometimes forget how young he actually is. He recently moved into my house instead of his mom's because he was running into some issues at school with the wrong crowd, and honestly, I just don't want him to grow up too fast. I want him to actually be a kid.
In fact, I know my 16-year-old daughter has her own stuff, but she keeps it locked away in her room where the younger kids can't stumble on it.
My real issue and what's making me angry is that he left it sitting out in a communal area where anyone could see it. My other son is 7. If my brother hadn't walked in there at 3 AM, what if the little kids walked in and found that? You just cannot leave stuff like that in shared spaces.
When I talked to him about it, he admitted he bought it off Amazon with his own money, so at least it wasn't stolen or anything. But right now, he has chores to do, and he hasn't come upstairs all morning. I think he's hiding out in the basement because he's completely mortified and embarrassed.
I haven't had a real sit-down talk with him about this yet. I don't want to make him feel like a freak for normal teenage biology, but I do need to make it crystal clear that leaving his gear out in the open where the whole family can find it is unacceptable.
What should I say to him when I finally talk to him, and how do I break the ice without completely destroying his ego?

I honestly don't even know where to start.

I turned 16 and got my first job at McDonald's. Ever since then I've had 8+ jobs, and I blew every paycheck I made. Nobody ever taught me how to save money or manage it. Since I had no bills at the time, I always thought, "What am I even saving for?"

Fast forward to turning 18. The night of my birthday, I got approved for a credit card with a $1,500 limit. A month later, I went by myself and financed a car because I needed transportation for work and I wanted to get out of my toxic mom's house.

Worst financial decision of my life.

It's a 2020 Mitsubishi Eclipse Cross with almost 97,000 miles now. My payment is $486/month for 72 months at 24% interest. The payoff is around $18k, but with interest I'll end up paying around $33k.

I had insurance for the first three months, but because of a misunderstanding, I thought I was still insured. Turns out there was a $200 fee I didn't know I had to pay, so my policy got canceled without me realizing it.

Then in December I got into a car accident while uninsured.

Someone helped tape my car together for $190 just so it was drivable, but it still has cosmetic damage, wheel issues, and tire issues. I've gotten repair estimates anywhere from $8k-$16k.

Now I also have to pay the National Service Bureau $417/month for the other driver's damages (about $11k total).

On top of that:

• About $1,500 in credit card debt.
• A cash loan with about $650 left ($133/month).
• My RBFCU account is overdrawn by around $400 and just got charged off.
• I'm behind one month on my car payment.
• I can't even afford car insurance anymore.
• I've been to the ER twice in the last month plus the mental hospital, so now I'm expecting medical bills too.
• We barely have groceries.
• I barely have gas in my car.
• My job keeps cutting my hours no matter how many times I ask for more. I only make around $700-$800 every two weeks.

The only positive thing that's happened recently is that I finally finished my dental assisting course, which I thought would open up better job opportunities.

Except... now my licensing application is delayed because my NPDB self-query somehow got mailed back to me instead of going to the Texas State Board of Dental Examiners. I've been trying to call the post office and nobody answers. It's been over a month and I feel completely stuck.

I also want to start doing nails and eventually work for myself because I actually enjoy it, but it feels impossible when I'm drowning in debt.

To make everything worse, I've been off my mental health medication for over a week because my doctor never sent in my refills and nobody at the office answers the phone.

I've spent hours making budgets, debt payoff plans, and trying to figure everything out, but nothing seems to stick. Every time I think I'm making progress, something else happens.

I'm only 18 years old and I genuinely feel like I've hit rock bottom. I know a lot of this is my own fault and I'm trying to take responsibility for it, but I don't know where to go from here.

Has anyone ever been this deep financially at my age and actually gotten out? I don't need people to sugarcoat it. I just want to know where to even start because I feel like I'm drowning.

I started working with this guy about 6 months ago and at first I thought we just had similar taste. I bought a specific green phone case, he got the same one a week later. I mentioned the coffee place I go to before work, he started showing up there. Then he got almost the exact same haircut as me after asking where I go.

The weirdest one happened recently. I told him I had been saving money to buy a used record player and showed him the exact model I was looking at. Week later he came into work saying he had just bought that same one, even though he had never mentioned being into records before.

None of these things are serious on their own and hes never been rude to me, so I feel ridiculous even being bothered. But its happening often enough that I’ve stopped mentioning things around him. Do I say something or just accept that he copies people he likes?

Prior to my current boyfriend, I was in a committed relationship for almost seven years. During that relationship, I really got to know my body. I learned what helped me orgasm, what kinds of intimacy I enjoyed, and even some light kinks, like spanking. We were comfortable exploring together, and it helped me become confident in my sexuality.

When I started dating my current boyfriend, he told me he'd only ever had what he considered "normal sex." He also mentioned that he hated blowjobs because they had never felt good to him. Because of that, I toned myself down quite a bit. I stopped initiating things like handjobs or blowjobs because I didn't want to make him uncomfortable or pressure him into anything he didn't enjoy.

Our sex life has become very routine. We mostly have sex in missionary, which is the position that helps me orgasm, and occasionally doggy style. I would never say this to him because I don't want to hurt his feelings, but his size does make some positions difficult or uncomfortable, so I've accepted that certain positions just aren't realistic for us. Honestly, that's not what bothers me. I like him a lot, and I can absolutely live without the "fancy" positions.

What I'm struggling with is that I feel like I've become a pillow princess, and I don't want to be.

I want more intimacy during sex. I want more kissing and making out. I want eye contact. I want to feel like we're connecting emotionally, not just physically. He almost always keeps his eyes closed during sex, and sometimes it makes me feel disconnected.

I've tried asking him what he enjoys or what he'd like me to do, but he seems almost offended that I have to ask, as if I should already know. He doesn't really let me give him handjobs, and every time I suggest trying reverse cowgirl, he's not interested. Riding is difficult for me because I already feel insecure, and physically it doesn't work very well for us.

I've even mentioned things like light spanking, and his response was pretty hostile. He immediately shut it down by saying, "I don't want to do that." I've always tried to respect his comfort level, and I genuinely don't want him to do anything he doesn't want to do.

But lately I've started wondering if he even enjoys our sex life. I honestly can't tell. Sometimes it feels like he's just going through the motions. Even foreplay is very minimal. He'll briefly touch or kiss my breasts, but beyond that there isn't much exploration or playfulness.

I don't mean this as a list of complaints. I care about him deeply, and I enjoy being with him. I just want us to feel more connected and engaged with each other. I want sex to feel like something we're creating together instead of following the same routine every time.

The hardest part is figuring out how to bring this up. I don't want him to feel criticized or like he's somehow "less of a man." That's the last thing I want. But at the same time, keeping all of this to myself has started affecting my self-esteem. I find myself wondering if he isn't attracted to me or if he simply doesn't enjoy being intimate with me.

I don't need wild or adventurous sex. What I really want is more connection, communication, and a willingness for us to learn about each other together.

Me just found out my husband has been using the nuru massage service 3 times in the last 2 months- we had 2 kids and in our early 30s.

we had sex but once a week, sometimes twice a week. I do feel betrayal but i know it maybe just because he wants to get relax and that his way of release stress.. however, i now feel empty and disappointed.. please give me some advice

My grandpa died a month ago. He moved back to his home state to be with his kids and so they could take care of him. He was there for a few years and they did end up putting him in a nursing home because his condition was bad. It was a very good one though because my grandma made sure he would be set with money when she died a long time ago.

I didn’t go to the funeral because I don’t handle death well so I didn’t want to see him dead. I just want to remember his body as alive.

My brother brought back a hoodie of his for me but I don’t know if I can wear it. I want to wear it sometimes but it makes me feel weird that he is dead and I’m wearing his clothing.

Should I wait a while and see if time changes things or should I just never wear it?

I met this girl the 12th and had sex with her. 9 days later she’s at planned parenthood getting the abortion pill on the 21st. She made it seem like this was mine. I’m confused because there’s no way that anything could develop or show within a 9 day period. I’ve asked ai and they all agree with me this couldn’t be mine. I guess what I’m asking is this ai dissonance or is this genuinely impossible to have sex then 9 days later be getting an abortion pill (mifepristone) at planned parenthood. Just curious why she would lie to me. She said the last time she had sex was February which was 5 months ago. That can’t be true either.

3 years ago my ex sa’d me, and convinced me it was normal so i didn’t tell anyone. after we broke up i realised it wasn’t normal and told a few friends, he found out and ever since then he’s been saying im lying. he’s saying it to his friends, his sister (who’s also one of my bsf) and his gf. i only know he’s been talking about me because his younger sister tells me everything and shes the only one in that whole group that believes me even when i had no proof. for the last 3 years i have been so fucked up, i’m getting better but i still have nightmares. even in my dreams all i wanted was to get proof, lately all i have been thinking about is getting proof.

i downloaded my data on snapchat and found all of our old messages, then i found proof. these messages were 2 months after he sa’d me, i was basically just telling him i didn’t wanna do sex stuff anymore bc it made me feel gross and uncomfortable, and i mentioned that every time i said i didn’t wanna do it we still would, and it just kept going back and fourth. i screenshotted that conversation and straight away went to his younger sister telling her i finally got proof and she wants to help me expose him if i choose too.

but i was so focused on trying to find proof while thinking there was none i didn’t think about what i would do if i actually got it, at first i wanted it because i thought whatever happened to me didn’t happen the way i thought it did and i wanted a reminder that it was real, but i would just keep getting angrier about it and now i don’t wanna just keep it to myself but idk what to do. should i expose him?

I'm 32M, married (27F), and lately I've been questioning whether I'm the problem because I don't have the same drive for constant improvement that my wife does.

I want to start by saying I don't think my wife is a bad person, and I'm not trying to make her the villain. I know a lot of what she does comes from wanting us to have a better life. She is optimistic, she dreams big, and she wants us to experience more. I genuinely appreciate that about her.

The problem is that I feel like we have very different definitions of what a good life looks like.

I have a stable job that pays well. We are not struggling financially. Our bills are paid, we have food, we have a comfortable life, and I take my responsibilities seriously. I work hard, I do my job well, and I contribute.

When I'm done with work, I really value my free time. I enjoy relaxing, playing games, having hobbies, and simply having peace of mind.

To me, success is not only about making more money or constantly chasing the next achievement. Success is having stability, taking care of the people I love, being financially responsible, and actually enjoying the life I built.

My wife sees things differently.

She believes that people who truly improve their lives never stop. She often says that successful people come home from work and continue working on businesses, side projects, or ways to grow. Her belief is that we should sacrifice now, work harder now, and enjoy life later when we are older and financially comfortable.

I understand her point. She doesn't want us to settle. She wants us to maximize our potential.

But I honestly don't agree with living that way.

I grew up seeing my father work extremely hard and constantly put work first. I saw how much it affected his health and his life. That shaped how I think about success. I don't want to spend my entire adult life sacrificing everything, hoping that someday in the future I'll finally be able to relax.

I want to build a future, but I also want to live while I'm building it.

The biggest issue for me is that these dreams often feel like they become my responsibility.

My wife doesn't currently work, so many of these ideas involve my time, my money, or my energy. The pattern has happened several times: she gets extremely excited about a new idea or project, we invest into it, it lasts around 4 or 5 weeks, and then the excitement disappears and another new idea replaces it.

Over time, it becomes hard for me to get excited about new plans because I start thinking about the cost, the effort, and whether this will actually last.

I also feel like social media contributes a lot to this. She spends a lot of time seeing content about people changing their lives, starting businesses, becoming more productive, buying things, traveling, and achieving new goals. It feels like every week there is a new idea or lifestyle that makes her feel like we need to change something.

I worry that constantly comparing ourselves to what we see online makes it harder to appreciate what we already have.

The frustrating part is that I actually think our situation is good. I make good money. We are not in a crisis. I feel like our biggest opportunity right now is focusing on what we already have, improving gradually, and enjoying the stability we built.

Another major source of frustration is everyday responsibilities.

My wife struggles a lot with things like dishes, laundry, cleaning the house, and taking care of herself. These things can become overwhelming for her, and she procrastinates until they become even bigger problems.

I don't think she's lazy. Honestly, I sometimes wonder if there is some kind of underlying psychological issue or executive function problem because it seems much harder for her than it should be. I'm not trying to diagnose her, but it genuinely feels like more than simply not wanting to do things.

What makes everything harder is that these conversations often seem to happen when I'm finally relaxing.

After work, after taking care of responsibilities, when I'm sitting down to play a game or just enjoy some downtime, it feels like that's when the conversation starts about what else we should be doing, improving, or achieving.

Maybe she isn't intentionally doing this, but from my perspective it sometimes feels like I can never just enjoy the present without feeling like I'm falling behind.

She often says things like, "What if we die tomorrow?" Her point is that we shouldn't spend our entire lives saving and preparing for some future that might never come.

And I actually agree with part of that. I don't want to be someone who never enjoys anything.

But I also believe there needs to be balance. I think about the future, emergencies, retirement, and maintaining the stability we have. Sometimes it feels like I'm the only one thinking about those things.

I don't want a mansion. I don't want to build a business empire. I don't want to spend every evening working after already working all day.

I want a comfortable life. I want financial security. I want time with my wife. I want my hobbies. I want to be healthy. I want to enjoy the years I have instead of constantly chasing a version of life that starts later.

Can be okay for feeling this way?

Is this just a case of two people having completely different definitions of success? Is my wife right that I'm lacking ambition, or am I right that there is value in being satisfied with what we have and protecting our time?

I (23F) was eating dinner tonight with my family, and my brother brought up a silly phrase that made us all laugh, since none of us had heard it before. So then we started going around the table to see what we should call each other, based on a silly phrase we had said in the past. When they got to me, they all paused to think for a good while, and my dad finally said, “Armpit hair.” That hurt quite a bit, I’ll admit.

My family makes a very large deal about my armpit hair; which is something that I never bring attention to or bring up, because I’ve never seen it as a big deal. I have a skin condition (Hidradenitis suppurativa) that causes me to develop cysts in places where my skin rubs together, and I finally started getting the courage to stop shaving. In the past, I have found that making that small change helps so much with reducing how many cysts I get. I’ve explained this to them before, but they keep making fun of me for it. I just want to be left alone, man. What do I say in response the next time they bring it up?

My classmate (X) invited me to a girls-only gathering, and I said I won’t be able to attend. She asked why, and I didn’t give her a valid reason.

I didn’t want to attend the party because I noticed they always hang out with me without inviting me. For example, l saw them in the pub, and they watched the World Cup without inviting me. I saw their post about their art activities. I knew that they have a girls -only WhatsApp group but l am not included. I am not sure how many people are in there.

Also, one of the girls and her partner didn’t like me(I have no idea why). And the girl has always been invited, and I am pretty sure she will attend the gathering.

I felt very uncomfortable hanging out with them anymore. I keep a distance from them, but X is the only one who asks me what’s going on with me and asks me out. Should I tell her my feelings, and what should I tell her?

Thanks and sorry for the very childish question.

I'm 17 right now and I'm being harassed by this group of guys. They follow me around and often beat my ass or just verbally assault me. I can't go to the cops since they don't do anything even with proof of assault, and my dad just shrugs it off and tells me to "ignore them."

I'm also dealing with a lot of personal issues. My boyfriend passed away a month ago and I haven't been taking it well. I think I'm just gay and not bi anymore, and that's scaring me because what if the group of guys find that out too? They make fun of my bf for being a trans man and mock me for dating him, if they found out I'm fully gay I'm scared they might just end me

24 F never ever ever been cheated on in my lifeeeee or at least I never knew. I swear I’ve had an intuition telling me to check his phone but I never did because he’s literally the perfect boyfriend. I’ve known him literally 18 years just had our 1 year official anniversary. I have his pw and went through his phone and he’s texting multiple women, paying for sex content, deleting messages and telling them his “reply hours”. we literally just moved in together , crossed state lines!! this is really infuriating. Do I break up now, confront him, or keep evidence? I don’t wanna be dumb and stay in a bad situation tho

I am 20F and this incident happened when I was 7. At that time, there was a family in our neighborhood which was super close to ours. We often hung out together and therefore I was friends with the only daughter of the family who was 8 at that time. We went to the same school and had the same friends as well.

This one time we were visiting their place and as usual we both girls were playing in her room. We decided to play doctor and she said that since she was older to me she will be the doctor and I should be the patient. This was when she asked me to undress and I readily agreed. There was a series of inappropriate touches after that and she asked me to touch her as well. At this time we had both had no education on good touch/bad touch whatsoever. After the incident, a few days later, they moved to a different city and I never saw her again.

Now, the point is their family is shifting back to my city and even though we are not in the same neighborhood now, our families are still friends and this weekend they are coming to visit us. I do not know if she even remembers the incident and if I should confront her about it because the conversation would be hella awkward or should I simply not bring it up or not meet her at all??

i (22f) am a super virgin. gold star virgin. ive never dated anybody (though ive been in many many situationships). ive only ever kissed two people in my life, and i dont count them because they werent consensual. the first time i was coerced until i was physically forced into it, and the second time i was incapacitated drunk so they took advantage. as you can imagine, this has created even more anxiety around doing anything intimate than i already had to begin with.

i was always waiting for it to just kinda happen to me. as time has gone on, any romantic milestone has become so monumentally daunting in my mind that i now avoid anything related to it. i want to be in a relationship and do relationship things so bad, but im so behind people in my age group that now it terrifies me. this probably also has something to do with the general unknown social etiquette of it all as well because im autistic. a couple years ago i wanted it to be with the "right" person, but now i just want to be over with it. i dont want sex and intimacy to be the bogey man anymore. i also really want to reclaim my sexual autonomy. i feel like only having experienced non consensual intimacy is going to create more dread/trauma regarding relationships going forward. i dont want to end up in a situation where im a middle aged super virgin out of fear because i have no positive or consensual memories of sex. i want to lose my virginity on my terms and im terrified i wont get the chance or ill be so scared of not getting the chance that ill die a spinster.

ok, so im relatively sure (probably 85%) my friend (25m) is attracted to/interested in me. im also attracted to him physically and emotionally. im not worried about catching feelings because his situation is too complicated and incompatible with my wants in a relationship. he has a girlfriend, but they're in a non monogamous relationship. i think he would probably be the best person to do this with because i know i wont get romantically attached and i trust him deeply. hes one of the few people in my life who knows about both of the situations i faced before. hes just a great guy all around to be honest. i dont think he would be opposed to my proposition. i just have no idea how to bring this up without it being insane and awkward. i thought about staging an impromptu "take my virginity" proposal on like a tipsy night together, but i rarely drink and weve never drank together so im not sure how to set that up semi-organically. i dont think i could ask him sober. i know people will think that if i cant ask sober then im not ready or whatever, but im just really autistic. how do i talk to him about this ??? also does the girlfriend complicate things too much ? idk

TLDR: how do i ask my guy friend to take my virginity? how do i know if this is a good idea? please help.