I’m 17 want a fleshlight and am thinking about getting an Amazon gift card and ordering one for pick up. What’s stopping me is the shameful feeling I’ll get and I can’t stop but feel like a loser if I get one. I’m also just worried if my parents find it I don’t know how they’d react although it might not be as bad as I imagine. Someone help me

20f Today my father call me a slut cuz I wanted a bob cut, but somehow I cut my hair...my mom also she verbally, physically beaten me....

Today night i asked permission to both of my parents to cut my hair, n they said yes in a not so interested way....Idk what will happen tomorrow when they find out i actually cut my hair and it's a little short...im tooo much afraid.......

Have thought a lot about this and can’t figure out a good playbook in the modern era. Looking for insight into what others do and what I should do when I get married next year. Me (38m) and my partner (35m) both work full time, no kids or plans to have kids, and rent in a large metro city in the US for the near future.

In a traditional 1950s household, where one partner went to work, and one maintained the home, it made sense to combine finances because the home partner needed joint access to money to run the home.

In the 1990s, even if both partners worked, it made sense to combine finances because the process of transferring money for shared expenses like mortgage, utilities etc was long, potentially costly, and prohibitive

Today, with bank transfers being free or extremely low cost and very quick, why would a couple undergo the labor to combine their finances? Is there something I’m missing?

EDIT:

Wow! Thank you guys so much for all the input. Lots to think about. A few points of clarity- some of the reasons we like having separate accounts (so far at least- maybe it’ll change) that I think vary from some of the perspectives shared.

We like to surprise each other- gifts, trips, big things, small things. I guess if we had our own credit cards, we could use those and still combine all other finances and keep the element of surprise. I’d hate to get a push notification from “ABC florist” when he’s on his way home and not be surprised but this could be something that changes when we’ve been married for like 30 years.

We don’t do everything together. We live in a big city and have active social lives. In any given week, we might have social engagements on our own with our friends a few times, together with groups a few times, and together alone as a couple a few times. To me, having to scroll through all those transactions in one bank view along with each of our individual coffees, lunches, random online purchases, haircuts, nail appointments, subway fares, etc would be so overwhelming and hard to keep track of but maybe that’s more a function for how I track my finances than anything else.

We very rarely “split” anything except rent. Everything else we either designate (he always pays internet, I always pay phone bill for instance) or we take turns (the check at dinner, who’s phone to use when ordering delivery)

Thank you all again for your varied perspectives!

Basically, I am trying to read A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara. However, upon reading a few ai summarized synopsis’s of the book, my parents forbade me from getting it. I know A Little Life is much, much more than the two topics I mentioned in the title, but I know it’s what’s stopping them from letting me read it.

I’m nearly 18 and make my own money, and I don’t see anything wrong with the topics discussed that they see as problematic, but they’re not open to it as much. I don’t want to go against them rashly though. Any way to convince them?

I have felt I was male for as long as I can remember. As a kid, I even assumed all the other little girls wished they were boys, and were all just pretending to like Disney princesses, and Barbies, and dresses, and all that bs. When I found out about trans women, I was insanely confused. I felt like they’d been given the ultimate gift, and forfeited it, and I couldn’t understand why.
I was assigned intersex at birth, I have xy chromosomes, but because my ambiguous genitalia appeared mostly female, my parents chose to put me on estrogen at a young age, and tell me I was female. I wasn’t told the truth until I told them I wanted to transition to male at age 16. After years of my father begging me not to transition, saying it’s “worse than death” being a short man (we’re both 5’5), and being unable to afford surgery or hormone therapy, I decided to try to force myself to adhere to the gender my parents assigned me. I married a man even though I’ve only ever been attracted to women, and adopted three little girls. Forcing myself into a female life worked to stop me from transitioning in the form of feeling obligated to maintain my role as “mom” to my three children, but didn’t work in the sense of making me feel any more comfortable identifying as a woman. I am miserable. Even online, I usually pretend to be a cisgender man. I cringe at being perceived as a woman. I hate my life, and my body. I want to be a man. I feel I am a man. At this point, my children are 8, 6, and 3, and have only ever known me as mom. My husband is bisexual, but I don’t know if he’d want to be married to a trans man, and even if he did, I’ll never be sexually attracted to a man. Transitioning would mean changing the entire dynamic of my parenthood and relationship. I’m not sure if it’s worth the trauma my kids would endure, especially my autistic daughter who seriously struggles with change. At the same time, I am miserable, and can’t see myself living happily as a woman. I sometimes even consider ending it all to avoid making this decision. I want to the right thing for everyone involved, but I’m not sure what that is. I’m looking for anyone with insight to help steer me in the right direction.

I just turned 19 in early July. The girl I’ve been seeing is 17 and turns 18 in about three months, so we’re roughly 15 months apart.

I graduated high school last year, and she’s going into her senior year. We met naturally, everything between us has been mutual, and I’m not her boss, teacher, coach, supervisor, or in any kind of authority position over her.

I know the age gap itself is small, but the fact that I’m 19 and she’s still 17 makes me feel ashamed and worried about how other people would view it. If she were already 18, I honestly don’t think I would feel nearly as conflicted.

I’m looking for honest opinions. Does this sound inappropriate or predatory to you, or does the small age gap and similar life stage make it less concerning? I’m also interested in hearing from people who have been in a similar situation.

Please be honest, but I’d appreciate thoughtful responses rather than just insults.

Okay so this didn’t happen today but a week ago now. Me and my best friend have gotten drunk together in the past and even slept in the same bed drunk but nothing ever happened and honestly I loved to keep it that way. This day was different I guess? We both started drinking early and she later went out and came back later that night both of us still drunk. What happened next was a lot of blur and I don’t remember much but we were outside smoking then one minute I’m carrying her the next we are in her room. Till that point it was just us sleeping at one point I remember her tell me to fuck her but I honestly thought most of this was a dream in way. She ended up waking up and so do I to use the bathroom but we both went back to bed after and by the end when I fully came to I realized I woke up next to her cuddled up. I never intended for any of this to happen but it did I feel weird about it but not too much or too sure bc after we woke up we both went back out smoked and talked for a while before I left. I haven’t seen her since but she come back tomorrow and I need help seeing how to communicate this to her see how she feels if she feels anything at all and I’m not even sure bc I do love her and she is special to me In so many ways I don’t want to fuck anything up to

My dad still thinks you can just walk up to a place and ask for a job. He wants me to do it at an aquarium store I often use, but he does not understand how that situation is weird.

I’m looking for honest perspectives because I feel really conflicted. I’m a Christian woman. Before coming to my faith, I identified as gay for a few years. Since then, I’ve chosen to pursue Christ and I’m currently in a relationship with a wonderful Christian man whom I genuinely love. I give him love in every way I know how and I stay intentional in the pursuit of getting to know him more. He’s kind and patient. Recently he’s been dropping the ball a lot and it makes it hard for me to be happy about the relationship.. it leaves me wanting to experience being loved better. Love I’ve only seen from women thus far. The confusing part is that I’ve never experienced attraction to men the same way I’ve experienced attraction to women. My feelings toward women have always felt more intense. Recently, I’ve had some incredibly amazing friendships. With one of them I was able to talk to her about what is going on in my head and we set boundaries so that I can function more healthily in our friendship. The other one is a woman I met at work, and I can’t stop thinking about her. I don’t want a relationship with her, and I don’t want to leave my boyfriend. But I feel so captivated by her personality, her faith, and just who she is. It’s making me question whether these are lingering same-sex attractions, admiration, emotional attachment, or something else. I know Christians have different convictions about sexuality, but I’m not really looking to debate theology. I’m more interested in hearing from people who have experienced something similar. How did you distinguish between admiration, temptation, infatuation, and genuine incompatibility? I love Jesus, and I don’t want to make decisions based solely on feelings. At the same time, I don’t want to ignore something important if I’m misunderstanding what’s going on inside me.
I’d really appreciate thoughtful, respectful advice.

This was geniunely the worst thing I have ever done I am 13 years old and was scrolling on tiktok and found a sketchy account posting pictures of hidden jars that he labels them as "CBD oil" and I so stupidly went and decided to investigate further and eventually found their number and facebook, I contacted him thinking he wasen't legit and he sent me a video of meth and saying it is good and full quality, At that point my heart dropped to my pants and now my number is tied to him, I am too scared to go to the police because I would have to tell my dad before going and he will geniunely get so mad (Not saying he dosen't have a reason to be) and I doubt the police will believe me and even if they do what if the drug dealer's crew hold a grudge on me? I don't know what they are capable of and so I decided to block his number and I know it isn't exactly the best there is but it is all I could've thinked of, That was maybe 3 weeks ago and today a number from the united kingdom (I do not live there or ever have been) contacted me saying hello, And guess what his socials on that number was? It was exactly the same account as the drug dealer's facebook and blocked that number right away, Before any of you say anything I so deeply regret doing that and I know it is wrong.

I'm a 35-year-old woman. I met him when I was 19, and we were both 19 at the time. We are both Muslim, and our families were friends. We dated on and off for 14 years.

He moved to Canada for a while but eventually came back. His parents were against us getting married because they felt we had become too close and were practically family. Instead, they arranged for him to marry a girl from our mosque whose grandmother his mother knew. They got married in July 2024.

He promised me that after a year he would leave her and say that he simply didn't love her. However, when that time came, he didn't leave because his mother was diagnosed with high blood pressure, and he said he didn't want to cause her more stress.

During that time, our relationship didn't stop. In fact, we grew even closer. Every day after work, he would come to my apartment. We would be intimate, go out for dinner, and spend time together. As far as I know, his wife had no idea. I felt deeply ashamed, and I even stopped attending prayers because of the guilt.

I recently found out that I'm 9 weeks pregnant. When I told him, he seemed very happy. Then he said there was something he wanted to tell me but didn't want to break my heart: his wife is also pregnant, and she's 5 months along. He told me that he only got her pregnant because his mother was pressuring him to give her a grandchild. He says he still plans to ask for a divorce after she gives birth.

Am I a fool for believing him and waiting? I really love him and I've never dated anyone else.

I'm 21M straight. I've been single my whole life! Rejected by multiple girls. I'm so horny all the time. I had to go to prostitutes (I went 3 times ). I crave a connection or a partner very badly, everyday.

Anyways, I was so desperate for something (anything) I started commenting on random (nsfw) reddit posts asking people to dm me. One girl posted a comment saying rate me. I did, we had a Lil chat and exchanged 2-4 photos. Nothing crazy.

However, this 27 M dude FROM Delhi whom I texted (not knowing he was a guy, gay), was very weird. He kept asking me to give him a chance, meet him, etc. He said he would like to please me! Suck my D and all that. I told him I was straight. He said if you wanna experiment, you can do it with me. Idk why and what I was thinking, I said "let's just have a chat. What harm could it do?" I was soo stupid! He sent me his nudes (without face), I was just playing along but then he asked for a D pic. For some reason, I sent him that too.

If I had stopped right there, it would've been fine! But noo! We were sexting and all of a sudden he asked me for a vc on telegram. Idk why again I said yes. At first i was in my bedsheet and he couldn't see me. He told me to go to the bathroom. Once more (being the moron I am) I said yes. I put my phone on the tap angled very carefully so that it doesn't reveal my face. We did our deed (without talking or showing faces).

When I was done.... Oh boy! I was picking up my phone and I, uh..... Accidentally tilted my phone towards my face. Now get this, I don't know how much my phone was tilted, I don't know if he saw my face, I don't know anything!!! It's really 50-50! 😭. I don't know if he was recording or anything.

He disconnected the call! Immediately! When my phone was tilted. After that I sent him a photo of my, c*m trying to act like nothing happened. He liked it and went offline! Just like that! No reply whatsoever. I tried texting him on telegram, reddit, called him on telegram. No answer.

Now I'm scared to death! Idk if this is normal on reddit? Or should I be scared or anything? I thought of deleting this account also(which I will once I get this issue resolved). Should I block him? Talk to him? Delete reddit and try to forget this? What should I do????

PLEASE HELP ME GOD!!😭🙏

I have two older siblings that work one cant refer me because I don't have the correct qualifications. I haven't asked the other one yet I guess ill do that soon. My dad has only referred me to two jobs. I live in North london and Im only 18.

(LONG STORY made SHORT)

I don't wish to frame this in an offensive way; I'm just new to these feelings (and honestly romantic feelings in general), and I'm hoping people with more life experience can tell me how they figured things out.

I'm a Christian Mexican guy about to enter college.

I think I might be bisexual. I definitely like girls, and I've dated 3 girls before (still on good terms with all of them). I can also imagine myself liking a guy under certain but still many circumstances, but it's still less common for me. So I'm trying to understand where I fit.

One thing that made all of this even more confusing is how I experience affection.

I've never actually been kissed on the lips by anyone, regardless of gender. The closest I've gotten was my guy friends kissing me on the cheek as a joke, which sounds weird out of context, but that's genuinely just how some of us act around each other.

When I'm on Discord playing games with the boys, I sometimes realize how much those moments mean to me. If we're all laughing, talking about life, or just sitting in silence while playing something together, I start feeling really attached to them. Sometimes I catch myself blushing because I feel genuinely cared for. I love that I can be completely honest around them and they'll give me their real opinions instead of telling me what they think I want to hear.

I don't think it's really lust. It's more like... if someone truly cares about me and makes me feel emotionally safe, I can start wondering, "Could I actually like this person?" I've even caught myself almost developing little crushes on a couple of my friends before, but they usually fade because I remind myself they're my friends (and respectfully... some of them are as chopped as I am 💀).

What also didn't help was high school.

I went to a private school where we had one class together for basically every subject, so everyone knew each other really well. During cooking class, I naturally ended up cooking, cleaning everyone's messes, and taking care of people. Somewhere along the way my friend group jokingly decided I was basically the "wife" of the group.

They'd compliment my apron, tease me, jokingly argue over who the "husband" was, and completely lean into the joke. Looking back, I honestly didn't mind it as much as I pretended to. That same whole "group wife" joke is also what eventually led to one of my friends kissing me on the cheek. HE ASKED BEFOREHAND; BTW, he was kind of cute.

Even now, my friends and I sometimes make really over-the-top jokes that get way too intimate before we all stop, look at each other, start blushing, awkwardly apologize, laugh, and tone it back down. what i mean is that we'd do some pretty weird stuff, like grabbing each other's faces or pulling one another closer and resting our heads on each other. We'd low-key do couple stuff, ngl.

Sometimes I honestly wonder if I could fall for almost anyone—girl or guy—if they genuinely loved me, cared for me, and made me feel emotionally safe. That's probably one of the biggest reasons I'm questioning my sexuality in the first place. It's less about physical attraction and more about how deeply I connect with people who make me feel accepted.

The bigger thing that's been on my mind is that, for the past 3–4½ years, I've had a growing desire to look female. I actually still think of myself as a guy—but looking more feminine feels like it would be closer to how I picture myself; in fact, most of my days i wake up and hate that i woke up as a guy because it doesn't look like what i feel like I'd look like. I've even had dreams that i was a girl and cried literal tears because I woke up male. I've been thinking about HRT for a long time. Not impulsively either. Almost every day I weigh what I'd gain against what I'd lose. I know it isn't some magical "I'll finally be happy" button, and I know there are permanent changes and risks. That's exactly why I've been thinking about it so carefully. If I ever did go on HRT, I honestly would care if people referred to me as male or not. I don't feel like changing my appearance would erase the life I've lived or the values I've built.

I'm about to start college, and it feels like I'm at a point where I need to understand these feelings instead of ignoring them.

I grew up with two older sisters and my mom, while my dad was usually at work. I think that shaped how I view masculinity and femininity. I never really connected with the whole "macho man" idea. I've always felt more comfortable around softer aesthetics, cute things, and expressing emotions.

When I was younger, I looked pretty androgynous, and I actually liked being mistaken for a girl sometimes. My relatives always joked that I looked just like my mom. As I've gotten older, I've become more masculine-looking, and I honestly struggle with seeing that in the mirror.

My church is actually very accepting. They genuinely believe Jesus loves people unconditionally, and they've been welcoming to people from all kinds of backgrounds. One of my childhood friends came out as gay, and nobody treated him badly—they mostly just cared that he was still the same person and still helped around church.

My parents are what scare me.

They're Mexican, and while my mom can be very open-minded about some things, she's also very strict about gender expectations when it comes to me. My dad is loving, but I'm scared he'd quietly see me as a disappointment if I weren't his only son anymore. That's probably one of the biggest fears I've been carrying.

I also feel guilty because I know changing how I look could be difficult for people who've known me my whole life. I don't want to become someone else—I genuinely feel like I'd still be me. I'd just look different.

Sometimes I feel embarrassed that I want to be dainty or feminine when everyone sees me as a guy. Other times the desire feels so strong that I wonder if it'll ever go away. I honestly feel like an imposter living in someone else's body and an imposter with someone else's identity.

as for my sisters, I don't think they'd mind having another sister, but that's based on how they treat me now. mah big sisters are honestly the best!

I guess my question is

Has anyone else gone through something similar or have words of help for my confusion?

Repost to another communityi think i might be bi and/or may want to transition.

i (22f) am a super virgin. gold star virgin. ive never dated anybody (though ive been in many many situationships). ive only ever kissed two people in my life, and i dont count them because they werent consensual. the first time i was coerced until i was physically forced into it, and the second time i was incapacitated drunk so they took advantage. as you can imagine, this has created even more anxiety around doing anything intimate than i already had to begin with.

i was always waiting for it to just kinda happen to me. as time has gone on, any romantic milestone has become so monumentally daunting in my mind that i now avoid anything related to it. i want to be in a relationship and do relationship things so bad, but im so behind people in my age group that now it terrifies me. this probably also has something to do with the general unknown social etiquette of it all as well because im autistic. a couple years ago i wanted it to be with the "right" person, but now i just want to be over with it. i dont want sex and intimacy to be the bogey man anymore. i also really want to reclaim my sexual autonomy. i feel like only having experienced non consensual intimacy is going to create more dread/trauma regarding relationships going forward. i dont want to end up in a situation where im a middle aged super virgin out of fear because i have no positive or consensual memories of sex. i want to lose my virginity on my terms and im terrified i wont get the chance or ill be so scared of not getting the chance that ill die a spinster.

ok, so im relatively sure (probably 85%) my friend (25m) is attracted to/interested in me. im also attracted to him physically and emotionally. im not worried about catching feelings because his situation is too complicated and incompatible with my wants in a relationship. he has a girlfriend, but they're in a non monogamous relationship. i think he would probably be the best person to do this with because i know i wont get romantically attached and i trust him deeply. hes one of the few people in my life who knows about both of the situations i faced before. hes just a great guy all around to be honest. i dont think he would be opposed to my proposition. i just have no idea how to bring this up without it being insane and awkward. i thought about staging an impromptu "take my virginity" proposal on like a tipsy night together, but i rarely drink and weve never drank together so im not sure how to set that up semi-organically. i dont think i could ask him sober. i know people will think that if i cant ask sober then im not ready or whatever, but im just really autistic. how do i talk to him about this ??? also does the girlfriend complicate things too much ? idk

TLDR: how do i ask my guy friend to take my virginity? how do i know if this is a good idea? please help.

So I (17M next month) took my dog (7 year old boxer bulldog mix) to a park we frequent. I walked her there on a leash, and kept her on leash until I knew it was safe and clear to let her wander off-leash. Mind you, her collar has a handle I can grab in case of emergencies and shes been off leash trained since she was a puppy, so I wasn't worried. A little while later, an older man, maybe 70+ showed up with a big, young, clearly untrained pitbull mix. The dog started growling at me so Luna, my dog, inched a bit closer. The old man was just staring at the two dogs, not making any move to leave. Usually yes I'd make the first move and grab my dog, which I did grab the handle on her collar, but mine is trained and his was on leash so I figured he would just go. But then the dog growled at me again and approached us, so Luna charged back at it.

I obviously went after her but at that point, the two dogs were already fighting and nipping. As I was putting my hand between the two dogs mouths and fighting his dog off of mine, literally shoving it away with my feet, the old guy was still making NO effort to get his dog away from mine and ME. By the way, I'm 5'3 and I don't work out, so controlling my smaller dog was easy, but his dog put me in a very dangerous position. After I finally kicked the dog away (not enough to hurt it but to make it leave us alone) the guy finally walked off.

A few weeks later, I took Luna back there and this time she went after a dog who was older, cause it came near me (because of her PTSD.) I instantly grabbed her and took her home. Now I'm wondering if and assuming I would be an asshole or bad owner to take her to the park again and let her play off leash, while I'm rebuilding her training so that she's not reactive. I got yelled at by a couple people who saw her playing off leash by herself even when she wasn't bothering anyone (the park allows off leash animals.)

So reddit, please give me some advice and a verdict. I feel bad for the older dog but I didn't know she was going to react like that, and she wasn't being aggressive either. I just want her to be able to live out the rest of her days not stuck in a house or on a short leash whenever we go out. How do I train her not to be reactive anymore? Or do I just keep her at home on on a short leash forever?

INFO: literally everyone at this park has their dogs off leash unless they're on the trail, which we weren't. I wouldn't have taken Luna there if she was ever reactive before this. We also haven't been to the park since as I've been working with her. The older dog was never harmed either because I grabbed Luna before she even got to it.

Edit: it's an off leash park, if that wasn't clear from the info. She's also never shown any aggressiveness or reactiveness since she's been trained ever since she was a puppy. And to clear this up once again, she didn't charge first.

edit two: I already commented this but I keep getting the same repetitive comments. so here we go again. Just to make this clear, I know the second time was Luna's fault. The first time was not mine or her fault at all. That man should not have had a pitbull if he couldn't control it. Not only was he not commanding it at all, but the dog was lunging at us and dragging him with it. Luna hasn't been to the park, or off leash since the second incident. I don't need to be told all of that, I just need advice on how to help her recover from this. She also still isn't aggressive towards people, for those who were worried. So no, I won't be muzzling her unless I'm around other dogs again

Hi there! So, here is my situation.

As the title states, my younger brother, who just turned 30, wants to buy a house. He has been working toward this goal for a few years, I believe. He's been able to save about 16k and recently found a house that he is interested in purchasing. Over the fourth of July weekend, I visited my home state and saw the house, and it seemed like everything was ready to go. Then, a few days after I left, I got a text from my mom saying that the lender actually wants another 7k from my brother before he can close, and that one option would be to use money given to him by family. I knew exactly where it was going as soon as I saw that he needed more money, and my mom proceeded to ask me if I would be willing to loan him the money. I didn't want to at this point because I think it's wrong to ask for money from people unless it's genuinely a critical situation, and even then, people should do their best to attempt to resolve the problem on their own.

I didn't agree at this time but asked if there was anything else that could be done. The conversation ended without any clear answer as to what would happen, but I didn't hear anything else about it for a couple of weeks, so I thought maybe something had been worked out. Then, today, while I was at work, I got a bunch of texts from my mom telling me that my brother is now apparently being told that it's actually closer to 20k that is needed on the high end, and 10k on the low end. She told me that my brother is considering selling his vehicle, that has a 16k balance on it, in order to reduce the amount of the money that is needed, so I think that's what would make the difference in whether it was closer to 10 or 20k.

My brother then called me this afternoon and explained the issue, and to his credit, he did say he felt bad asking for money and that one of our few conversations throughout the course of the year had to be about this.

As far as my personal situation, I don't own my own home, have no kids, and don't have any other financial obligations, but I absolutely don't have money. I have a good financial picture that would allow me to borrow money because I don't miss payments on things and don't have any debt apart from about 5k in credit card debt that I accrued as a result of recurring bill payments and some spending that I am working on wiping out over the next few months.

But I've had disappointing financial years this year and last because of some lack of trust and other issues I have had involving a manager that has discouraged me from working more overtime. That's another story for another day, but she's quitting in three weeks, so that will all change. Thank God. But it's been an emotionally, mentally, and just personally immensely stressful time for me for hours and hours of my week, and I've had to put a lot of my financial goals mostly on hold up to now.

I also don't even own my own home, don't have an expensive car, and just don't even consider doing things that will put me in a position of financial servitude as much as I am possibly able to.

My brother has already taken money out of his 401k for this house (I don't know whether that means he actually just withdrew it or if he borrowed against it), but he has taken the maximum out that he is allowed. He has also saved about 16k, but all of those factors included, he still needs another 20k unless he sells the car. He paid for an appraisal that cost about $700.00 and will be out a total of about 3k if he has to back out of the purchase because he cannot cover the cost.

My first instinct in his situation would just be to not go forward with the purchase and wait until he is entirely financially ready and isn't buying something that is at the very upper end, and even beyond, of what he is capable of purchasing, but by now he has already agreed and made plans to have his current roommate move into the house with him, who will be paying $900.00 per month, which I believe is about half of the mortgage payment. My brother's girlfriend is also apparently planning on moving in there as well, which will further drive down my brother's financial responsibility per month, so that's all helpful, but I think that now my brother feels like he can't just back out since other people have already begun to plan on moving in as well, and I understand that given all he's gone through with the house that it's disappointing to have to just give up and start over.

That being said, I just don't think it's wise for me to attempt to loan the money. He told me it will be an 8-10 month period of time over which he will be able to repay me, and even though that doesn't seem like a huge amount of time, I don't even want to have to deal with it for that many months.

I do think my brother is mostly responsible, but he hasn't treated his family the most kindly in the past - nothing huge, just acts selfishly and says things on impulse when something inconveniences or annoys him - and I can see him running into things from month to month where he doesn't have the money he thought he would or something, or he decides that since "I'm family" that I will be more understanding and have lower expectations for him to repay me on time every month or something.

I know that loaning money to family is generally a bad practice. But I also know that some things in life aren't always absolutes and I am willing to help people out when they need it. But the thing is that my financial beliefs are such that I wouldn't ask for money from anyone unless I was in a dire circumstance, and he's not. So, I guess I'm just looking for advice from anyone who may have gone through anything like this, if you agreed to help, and what the outcome was.

Temperature in the house tends to be around 70 to 85 the entire day/night, which I am admittedly entirely comfortable with as even temperatures above that range. My roommate however is not and wants the house to under 70 degrees. We are both college students, but I am entirely self sufficient I don't get any support from anyone but myself and the school (during the school year). So my budget is razor thin and I'm scared if we run the AC 24/7 I straight up will run out of money. I also don't really want to take anymore out of my budget for something I have no desire for. I can't really think of a compromise and that's really what I'm looking for here, so if anyone has any ideas on a middle ground that I can afford, I would appreciate it. We already tried running the AC at a higher temp, which was 75 degrees and the bill was still outrageous and really hurt me this month.

So I started with therapy myself and then my husband joins me. He made light of my feelings and made same empty promises. Had nothing to say when the therapist brought up all the ways that I take care of him and his needs like when he is hurting me massaging his cramping legs or shoulders and making sure I have medicine to take away his pain. Buy him shoes to stop knee and back pain. Everything a truly loving wife would do. He agreed in a submissive voice but said it wasn’t enough and I should do more cooking and cleaning. Then he’d look me in the eyes when I spoke to him. Of course nothing has changed. Not 1 single attempt. I could tell she had that same crappy attitude that my grandmother and mother had of being a servant to your husband which I rebuked the moment I turned 18 in 1985. F EVERYONE who ever thought or thinks we are not equals. I’m so angry I want to leash out but it still leaves me stuck since I can’t hold a job due to health. I obviously have to find a different therapist but I want to drop the hammer on him. I need out of the box thinkers to help me figure a way to do I don’t know what. I’m completely a disaster. HELP

So I am 26 years old and asexual and in my terms is I do NOT feel anything sexual but I watch sexual things to fill that non sexual hole in my body. I am female. I watch gay or BL stuff and it isn't satisfying to me anymore like I need more stuff that is like... Real. Can you help me?

(sorry for typos, I do not feel like fixing them) A year ago I was promised a spot to coach for the elementary team on my lacrosse club. I volunteer assistant coached last year for i around 30 hours to be prepared to head coach this and the next two years. (thirty hours is a lot for a high schooler. I missed the first thirty minutes of every single one of my high school practices to coach my kids) (the practices overlapped) Ive been wanting this job for three. I go to a silly little camp thing my club is hosting for new players because well im a coach i should go… just to find out ive been replaced! no one told me. No one told my parents. No one told anyone. I found out because I had to ask the club president. I got replaced by someone who has never played or coached lacrosse. an adult. ive played lacrosse for eight years. Volunteered at a local swim team for four teaching kids how to swim. The ones who cannot swim and the intellectually disabled kids who have trouble listening. Like the ones with autism. I have more experience than this lady does. The whole reason I got replaced is because she is an adult and im a kid. Their reasoning is that teenagers can't control children. They listened to me perfectly fine last year. They liked me more than the head coach because I am funny.

I have day two of the silly camp thing today and I know I need to figure everything out then but I get very emotional very easily and I already cried for four hours about this because I feel like I was fired with no one telling me anything yay! I was told “oh we would love to have you around” as in volunteering more. Hold on. I thought i already did my volunteer coaching. LAST YEAR. I get wanting to have an adult at practice. I totally understand that. Why can't they have the person who has never played or coached lacrosse be the assistant coach, and have the person who is going into their ninth year who has coached before be the head coach. I can't get a different job because lacrosse takes up so much of my time (I am on three teams) and this was the only way I could reasonably get gas money (turning 16 before their season starts) and still have time to study as I am in advanced classes...

What do I do? How do I fix this? (Feel free to ask clarifying questions, I am probably missing something)

(edited for clarity)

My '23F' boyfriend '24M' have been dating for a little over 1 year, before that we were friends for a few months. Well when we were friends I knew that he had a second Snapchat account that he used to talk to and gets nudes from women. I also knew that he had a hidden photo album on his phone that had all of the saved ones through the years. We talked about it before and he had deleted the photos from the hidden folder because I said it made me uncomfortable. I had completely forgotten about the Snapchat since he said that he never used it after we had gotten together. Well a few months (about a half a year ago) I had a feeling so I checked his phone. He had saved new photos off of his Snapchat. We had a talk and he said that he did that to see how I would react. He also deleted the photos and said that he deleted the Snapchat. I had another feeling so I went through his phone again about a week ago. I found that he still had the Snapchat that he had said twice now he deleted. When I actually went through the account this time, I saw that every few weeks he had been on it talking to other women and saving their nudes. Since then I keep having a feeling that I don’t know where to look or am not looking hard enough. I went through his phone again and found that he was asking on a different app if women were selling nudes. (For context, me and him live together and have been struggling with money for a while.) Since finding all of this out, I have asked him about all of it. He says that he doesn’t think it is cheating and the reasons for why he did this is because “he could” as well as he “was bored”. The nudes that he saved are also almost exactly opposite of me and he has before called me chubby but says all of those women are skinny. I don’t know what to do or say. I don’t know what I did or didn’t do. I have no idea on anything right now. I could really use any advice anyone can give me, including any guys. What advice does anyone have?

Tldr at bottom

Hello all, I've come here to learn more about how to help out my fiance with something that has been bothering her.

To preface we are both women, when we first got together she admitted she didn't even know she would be interested in a woman but looking back on all of the feelings she had when we first met and onward, she explains that she realized she truly was in love. Which made my heart happy. She even told me no one has ever made her feel this happy etc. Warms my heart and soul that I have actually managed to make her feel safe, happy, content.

She proposed to me first actually😅 I had to pursue her for quite sometime and she decided to go out and get something she could afford and couldn't wait so she did it in a parking lot. Later on though, i decided to get her an engagement ring and set up this whole thing for her and she loved it. She wanted it to be a spectacle so I provided.

Talks of the wedding have begun (though we are planning mostly to budget as we would like to wait for some more stability first). And we also recently went to a good friend of mines wedding. Her wedding was beautiful and they are both very deep into their religion which is Christianity. They prayed a lot and in their vows was included that they are giving themselves to God and each other. I thought it was really cute.

Now, I myself was technically raised Christian but had no interest and ultimately decided to just live my life and appreciate nature. My fiance on the other hand has always had a place in her heart for God, and since being with me she's had some struggles regarding her religion. She's worried that God won't love or look over either of us due to the fact that we are the same gender.

I've always had my struggles with even beginning a relationship with god, especially since i was baptized at 7 or 8 and never really found it memorable. Just thought I got to play in tbe big pool on the balcony 😅. I am willing to get outside of my comfort zone and try out something new, but I am wondering how I could possibly comfort or reassure her with her knowing that I've never quite had a relationship with any sort of religion.

I want to support her in everything, but I quite literally know nothing about Christianity despite performing songs, and reciting verses from a young age, it just never stuck. I want her to feel comfortable in her religion and knowing that God does love her. But how could I a non believer possibly convince her of that.

I have so far done some research with her and have found some things that all have varying interpretations of what it means to have a relationship like this while devoting yourself to god. And she is by no means extremely into her religion or anything, God is just someone near and dear to her that has supported her through many trying times and I just want to be there for her.

I'm going to try over the next while to see what this whole God thing is about in order to better support her, but how and what can I say to potentially ease her mind as I learn more?

Tldr: my fiance is worried that God won't love either of us due to us both being women. I've never considered God as something I believe in and was wondering what I could do or say to ease her mind.

Well , I'm 16 yo , i'm from a good family , we have a good money , so since i was born , i used to buy what i want , but i always tried to not buy anything expensive , but....

Some day everything changed , i realized that i can take money and buy anything without telling any one

From that day , my life is destroyed

I started upgrading my setup as h3ll , i started buying vabes and shisha secretly and hide them , ( I'm from a restricted family)

And it was a problem , but not a disaster , until i knew valorant , i swear i loved this game sooo much

And I started being jealous of the pro players , bc they have a lot of skins

And...in almost 7 months , i spent at least 900$ on this fkin game

Idk , that's one of my problems , at least my life is destroyed at all , but this problem is really finishing me , any advices or opinions? Thank you all 🙏🏻

I'm 18f and am leaving for university in about 3 weeks with my partner. I recently got a UTI and told my mom and she asked if I was sexually active. We have a good relationship so I felt no reason to lie and said yes. These past two days my parents won't look at me and only gave me one word answers.

Today my mom asked to talk where she sat me down and told me how I've broken her heart by having sex in her house and it feels like I've stabbed her and my father. She said that I've broken all trust and that she's so disappointed. She sobbed as she told me how she couldn't believe I would do this to them. She told me that I've broken my father and that I've severed our close relationship. She also keeps saying that I didn't think about the family and how this would affect everyone.

She was raised religious and waited till marriage and kept making comments about women who have sex before marriage and I can't get them out of my head. She said that this is all her fault, that's she "gave him the key to your vagina".

She said I didn't respect them enough to do it outside of the house, that other teenagers at least fuck in cars rather then disrespecting there family.

I don't really know what to do. I understand what she said and I apologized as sincerely as I could and it will never happen again of course. We've always been open and I have a close relationship with my mom and I never thought this would happen when I told her. I always thought about the first time I would have sex and I knew I wanted it to be somewhere where I was safe and comfortable and I thought my mom felt the same.

I feel really ashamed. She keeps telling me I've broken the family. Did I fuck up that bad?