have the courage to let go of outdated patterns so you can embrace your new positive opportunities. good luck every one of you. i’m so happy to be sober

My dad was an alcoholic his whole life, and he was terrible to both me and my mother. But I believe misery breeds misery. By the time I was 14, I was already drinking whiskey and vodka. I drank so heavily early on that I ended up developing uncontrolled diabetes without even realizing it, eventually reaching 140 kg (around 308 lbs) when i was 35y
Over the years, I’ve managed to stay sober for long stretches, 1 or 2 years at a time. But whenever I fall back into it, the drinking is intense.
Right now, I’m in one of those bad periods.
After 1 year and 4 months completely sober, I slipped. In the last 24 days, I’ve consumed 20 liters of wine, plus 3 bottles of whiskey and aguardente mixed in. This relapse feels heavier and stronger than usual, and I honestly can't understand why, i am 40 now and i have 90kg
On paper, my life is actually going well right now:
I'm genuinely feeling happy overall.
I recently got back into martial arts and every did a belt exam.
I finished my Master’s degree.
I’m currently waiting for a brand-new car to be delivered.
Everything seems to be falling into place, yet the craving for alcohol is overwhelming. It feels like no matter how much progress I make, I always end up needing it, its just one taste, and once I taste it and its the end of me
Has anyone else experienced a severe relapse when life was actually going well? How do you break the cycle?

Live or Let Die: Transplants only option as more suffer alcohol-induced liver failure

I am 16 years old and I can't stop drinking. it is gotten to the point where if I even think about drinking or get the thought into my head, I will pick up a bottle of alcohol and drink the whole entire thing just to get drunk. it does not even matter if I like the alcohol or not I will drink it even though I hate the taste of it. Drinking is causing me problems like acid reflux but even though it’s causing me problems, I still can’t stop thinking about drinking or stop drinking. I have major depressive disorder and I have this idea in my head that the only time I’ve ever happy is when I’m drunk or high. alcoholism is a big thing in my family. My parents weren’t alcoholics but a lot of other people in my family are/were. if these are symptoms of being an alcoholic, can somebody please give me some advice?

I figured I’d start a conversation thread for anyone who has questions or wants to talk about being a young man and quitting alcohol. I myself have been sober for about 9 months, and I’d love to hear other perspectives from people in a similar place, and help answer any questions for those who might be starting their journey as well.

I used to be a voracious reader while drunk for 40 years, but now I have trouble getting into reading like I used to. Anyone else have this problem and found a solution?

hi! i recently turned 21, but ive been drinking pretty heavily for 4 ish years now. i feel like its become something i rely on instead of something that was once just something i did for fun or to take the edge off. if i tell myself im not drinking that night, it makes me so so anxious and i end up doing it any way. i’ve been drinking every night for a month and it’s becoming harder and harder to find the self control to not do it. i guess im just looking for a glimmer of hope. i want to stop drinking, its noticeably becoming a problem, i just dont know how to stick to it for an extended amount of time. anyone relate?

What’s the difference from being an alcoholic and just drinking a lot in you 20s. For some reason I just want to down play my drinking and think I don’t have a problem

I know that a lot of people drink because they’re struggling with depression, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, or other emotional issues. But that’s not really why I drink.

For me, alcohol gives me energy and motivation. It helps me start and finish boring, everyday tasks that I otherwise struggle with. I go to work every day, I’ve never missed work because of alcohol, and I’m also studying. I only drink in the evenings, usually when I need to clean the house or get other chores done.

Alcohol doesn’t make me reckless or euphoric—it simply makes ordinary tasks feel possible. I’ve never hurt anyone, gotten into trouble, or made any serious mistakes because of drinking. Because of that, I don’t have a dramatic “rock bottom” story or an obvious reason that makes me feel like I have to quit.

At the same time, I’m becoming increasingly aware that I don’t drink for the taste—I drink for the effect. I’m relying on alcohol as a tool to function, and that worries me. I’m afraid that, over time, this dependence could gradually become worse.

I have ADHD, so starting boring or repetitive tasks has always been especially difficult for me. Alcohol seems to make that much easier. I do take medication for ADHD, but honestly, it doesn’t have the same effect that alcohol does when it comes to helping me get started.

The morning after drinking, I usually feel completely fine. I rarely get hangovers, and when I do, it’s only after a party—not after drinking alone at home. Some days I don’t drink at all. Some days I’ll have a couple of beers after work. Other days I might slowly drink half a bottle of whiskey over the course of the evening.

I’m not even sure what I’m’m asking. I guess I’d really like to hear from people who drank for the same reason—for energy, motivation, or to make everyday tasks feel manageable, rather than to escape painful emotions.

If that was you, what helped you stop? What finally convinced you to quit before things got significantly worse?

I know many people quit because alcohol had already caused serious consequences, or because they felt terrible every morning. That hasn’t been my experience, which makes it much harder to find a compelling reason to stop before alcohol becomes a much bigger problem.

I'll start this off by saying my actual alcohol intake isn't that big, a bit above average probably, but nothing worrying. My main problem with alcohol is that I feel like i need it to function in a lot of social situations (due to a certain level of social anxiety). For the record, a year or two ago i started feeling like the amount was becoming problematic so i worked with my therapist to reduce consumption significantly. It was a bit hard in the beginning but it worked and now i feel like i have a much healthier relationship with alcohol, I didn't feel any negative side effects about it. Now I try to be much more mindful about how much/often I drink (especiall knowing that i do have a bit of an addictive personality).

Currently, I'm on vacations visiting my family, and because of that I completely stopped drinking (not because it's hard to access or anything, I'd just rather avoid it in front of my grandma lol). For the first week, week and a half, it went perfectly fine, even though sometimes i wanted to drink i almost didn't think about it. Then, I started gradually feeling more and more down, to a point where, about 2 weeks in, i was pretty depressed and almost relapsed (not alcohol, another kind of addiction that has been a significantly larger problem in my life). Then, by happenstance, my dad invited me to go to dinner with him and some of his friends, and there I drank a bit (nothing excessive, two cocktails and a couple beers). At the time I didn't think much of it, but i realized, the following days, that I was feeling much better.

Today I talked about it with my therapist (but because of time constraints we couldn't talk about it thoroughly), and they are pretty firm on the idea that, physiologically speaking, it doesn't make a lot of sense that alcohol would make me happy for days after consuming it, the effects should be immediate and after the buzz passes I'd go back to feeling like before, and that what was making me feel better was more likely to be the fact i went out a bit and socialized (it's a fact that I've been pretty isolated home, just hanging out with my grandma all day lately lol). Which does make a lot of sense, but (and I only thought about this after our session), would it not also make sense if we thought about it as me being sad due to the lack of alcohol, instead of me being happy due to its consumption? I'm sure the socializing thing is also a significant factor, but I'm worried that I wasn't as over it as I thought i was, and that I should take another step back before it gets worse (again).

https://www.reddit.com/settings/preferences

At the bottom go to ‘Limit ads in selected categories’.

There’s a few you can unallow, including the alcohol ads.

Posted this as a comment for something unrelated last week and a few people were thankful, so posting here in case it helps people here. 🙂

I am child of an alcoholic. He is 77, I am 45. First time I realised he is an slcoholic is when I noticed he is visiting “a friend” lets say, and coming back from his house weaving. That happened every day. He was around 40. He is some kind of functional alcoholic. But he does it everyday. His hands are shaking in the morning…..
He used to drink beer. In the last ~ 10 years he drinks heavier stuff. Probably needs it, beer is not enough. He is sick now, been to serious thoracic surgery. Survived and even got better.
But back again off course. Very quickly. He does not ever never admit he is an alcoholic. He lies forever…

I take care of him. He is alone now. Mom died. That was a disaster I will never forget because mom was very sick and I do not know how we survived this period. But that is another storyline. I will never forget this….

Now, he is torturing me …..I constantly think about what is he doing, will he fall, or what will happen. If it wasn’t for me, I genuinely think he would be buried in the trash, and his own…..
He keeps it togheter in the morning. Sometimes not even in the morning. I witnessed so much because of his alcoholism. Pain, pure anger, misery, exaustion. I throw away the bottles, sometimes I make a real drama. But off course it does not matter how many I throw away, they always keep getting back. One time I found I think 10 empty bottles of hard stuff….I was shocked because he used to drink beer. I lack sincere emphaty for him because he is very selfish. But I do take care of him. With everything, even help him with hygiene. I take care of many stuff…
He is a funny and smart person when he is not drunk. He was never aggressive. He just drinks himself…. He has other diseases, and needs help. He would probably be very healthy and fit elder person if it was not for alcoholism, he is destroying himself.
I know there is no help anymore. It is too far gone he is too old and there is no point. We have not even reached the point where he asks for help. He does not even admit it.
I do not know what to do. I am forced to look at it, at him. And just accept it. I am so exhausted and wish he stops, I want to have normal life, but that will never happen….
Please, give me some advice, any insights, anything.

I don’t know how to move past the guilt and anxiety I feel after a blackout. I had a simple weeknight dinner with my family where casual drinks were had, I had a particularly difficult day after (what I felt) a work friend betrayed me and of course I let that stress me out which I coped with by taking it too far with alcohol. I went home and talked to my boyfriend on the phone and said goodnight and was fully in bed, in pajamas, lights off but then I couldn’t fall asleep so I decided to put on a baseball cap and sneakers and walk to a bar around the corner from my house (in my pajamas). I left my phone at home so if anyone tracked me, they’d see I was at home and I only brought my ID and $60 cash in my wallet so there wouldn’t be any credit card transactions. I even took off my oura ring so there wouldn’t be any “activity” tracked for me that night. (I’ve been trying to cut back and stay out of bars, particularly by myself.) At the bar, it was so nice to socialize and have some drinks with the regulars (they even remembered my name and asked where I’d been) but then at some point my memory goes black. I woke up at home in my bed but couldn’t find my wallet so I tracked it. I ended up finding my wallet, plus my baseball cap and house keys in the garden beds down the street by the gate to my neighborhood (I have a door code if you’re wondering how I got inside without keys) and found my very nice wristwatch in the dirt of my own flower bed. I had an ig message from one of the bar regulars that said “go home girl🙂” that I immediately deleted without opening. I was covered in scratches and bruises when I woke up. I have no idea what happened and I feel so guilty and anxious about the extents I went so that no one would know what I did. I clearly knew it was wrong, otherwise I wouldn’t have hidden it. My work friend that I mentioned above that I felt betrayed me told me today that he saw someone that said they saw me last week and they described me as “quite intoxicated.” I was trying to just move on and pretend it didn’t happen but that exchange reminded me of my embarrassment all over again. I’ve sworn off the neighborhood bar (again) but I feel an intense amount of shame and anxiety over what could’ve happened during the blackout. How do I forgive myself?

I reckon its a really good way to overcome all this bulldust ..really learning and getting deep into an instrument..keeps your mind very occupied, its a focus and uplifting and something positive..what u think

Sober day 3:)

My best friend from childhood is also an alcoholic and he is moving basically next door to me. He's not a daily drinker, but he gets blackout drunk every weekend at least once. He is the most wonderful person I know sober and literally the absolute worst when he's drunk. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde on steroids. He makes everyone uncomfortable, gets banned from bars and does stupid and dangerous things. He has completely ruined his reputation and almost died several times in college. I told him to get therapy and that he has a drinking problem but now I feel like I need to say more if he is going to be living this close to me. I already made it very clear that he can never be drunk in my apartment. He has a big ego and is very sensitive, doesn't take feedback well at all, but I think someone needs to tell him he's an alcoholic. His argument well be he has a good job, a girlfriend and I have seen him have only 2-3 beers but he is incapable of moderating when at bars or parties. And I know it's only a matter of time until he does something stupid that will ruin his life. But even then, he has this victim mindset and refuses to take accountability. He blames the places themselves or the people he's around. Now that I've been doing this a while and going to AA, coming here, it's obvious to me he is an alcoholic and in ways has it worse than I do. I never burned bridges or put my life in immediate danger. The problem is so much of his connection to other people revolves around partying, he and his brothers all drink hard together, and he gets a lot of validation from being the life of the party which he actually is until his dark side comes out which it inevitably does. Anyway, I don't know how to bring it up or what to say but I feel like it's on me to say something.

I hit 2 years sober last week, haven’t picked up my coin yet. I just don’t know if I want to do it anymore. I’m miserable sober, I’m miserable drunk. It just doesn’t make a difference. I tried hard to get my life together when I got sober, started making really good money. Got a nice car and a house, and it means fucking nothing to me. My friends and family know me as the sober guy now, I don’t want to let them down but I just don’t care anymore. I want to get in my car and run away from it all everyday.

My friend let's call him Jay keeps calling me while drinking or drunk and it's starting to fucking piss me off and just make me sad.

Timeline 👇

Met him like 3 years ago while we rode motorcycles together, The guy only ever did the occasional 1 - 2 drinks while at a once in a blue moon party we're pretty close

Little over a year after riding together he gets hit while riding home from work so he has to move back to California where his main family is, I help him out while he's getting settled little money, support, things like that I see him back in Arizona where I am on and off catching up and stuff.

After almost 8 months after his accident we catch up and he tells me he has a drinking problem like 5 beers a day and liquor on the weekends and I tell him the whole you know bro wtf are you doing, what happened, you gotta stop. He agrees after another year or so

It's 2025 now

The whole year of 2025 and now 2026 he calls me randomly for hours just ranting about stuff I thought he dealt with already or stuff I helped him through and now in the present he keeps going on about conspiracies and religion so I'm pretty positive he's in a religious psychosis of sorts but he's still damn drinking and he straight up sometimes lies and says he's not even tho I hear him sip the fucking can through the phone and I bring up rehab and going to support groups and he hits the old "nah bro I'm not addicted or anything I can stop whenever". but yet when he has his I guess drinking days he gets blacked out and he calls to make sure he didn't do or say anything stupid and it's just this cycle of me staying on the phone so he doesn't fucking drive or having to hear him rant about all the religious stuff and I keep bringing up his drinking when he goes on about the religious stuff like bro how are you gonna try and preach to me about this and that while your over here going to strip clubs and getting fucking hammered while talking to me

He's not the same person I knew at all and I'm at the point where I'm just gonna reach out to his family and tell them all of this behind his back because they've already told him he needs to stop like he told me one time they almost kicked him out because they told no more drinking this was last year and sure enough before he went home he called and I stayed on till he sobered up so now he's just not even caring about what his family thinks or puts up a boundary.

How should I navigate this or should i have this "ultimatum conversation" with him first?

I was in detox for 4 days, went in there completely hammered because I honestly thought this was finally the last time. I get there and they pump me up with Ativan which was great for sleeping like 12 hours. Around day 3, or just before they completely cut off my Ativan which initially I was like good… last thing I need is to get a benzo habit too. Then I start withdrawing from the Ativan so bad it felt like my blood was itching. Couldn’t sleep for 27 hours straight. I had to get out of there. This withdrawal was like nothing else, so the genius I am gets some drinks to take the edge off completely defeating the point of going to detox. I’ve been to a few AA meetings, going for 90 in 90… still drinking but less. I don’t go to the bar anymore and I’m trying to taper down but I need to cut the cord completely. Any advice as to how I can alleviate the eventual sweats/discomfort I will be experiencing? I am using Tylenol PM to sleep but I feel weaker. It’s like my body is screaming at me. I can’t tell any of my friends or family because I know they will be completely disappointed in me which is why I am asking here. Shit, I can’t even be open with this at the room because family is a regular there and they say it’s anonymous but I know it will eventually get to her if I spill the beans. Any advice would be much appreciated… anyone who is finally clean and has a similar story I’d love to hear it for some inspiration.

Tl:dr started drinking immediately after detox to offset the benzo withdrawals I was experiencing from what they gave me at detox.

Day 5…feeling exhausted still. Everyday has been a challenge in not grabbing a drink. Almost fell off last night as I got a note from my PCP asking me to go see the GI to further check my liver.

That just sent me over into complete fear and stress. Just reiterated there is more concern than normal “hepatic steatosis/fatty liver”

I was hoping to leave it at that and hope to get better but now I’m fearing it’s too late and I just want to cope with this fear now. I had a “what’s the point moment” and almost caved but laid on the couch and slept until it went away.

Really sucks and I’m scared to know the real truth I guess. Don’t know where to go from here…

I (21M) have been struggling for the past 2 years with alcoholism slowly ramping up to 5 drinks daily. I would wait until after work, or until 6:00, but soon it got to the point I'd plan to drink all day on my days off. I woke up every day with a hangover, hid drinking from my family, and since ive moved back home from university, got defensive and anxious if I had a can on my bedside table and a family member saw. I think about drinking every day, made a trip to the store every 2 days to buy 12 cans of double IPA and would run out within those 2 days.

I noticed my energy has tanked and I would tell myself I'm more productive drinking, so I drank in anticipation to complete a task, only to then lay in bed and watch youtube instead of completing said task. So today is my first day drink free.

I will say, I am still thinking about a drink to end the night, but luckily there is none around to drink. I'm gonna replace the habit with something else, such as non-alcoholic beer, or soda, etc. I have high hopes for this journey and am excited to see how my mood, energy, and overall productivity improve throughout it.

If you read all of this, thank you for giving your time. If you have any advice to get through cravings at all, I'm all ears. Would love to hear about your own journeys of sobriety as well!

Been going to AA since I caused a accident for a DWI. Luckily no one was hurt or significant damage but, regardless, reality hit me again today. Finally got an update from my attorney and it is being reclassified to a Class A misdemeanor. My blood results were really high(didn’t refuse a breathalyzer that I remember atleast, was compliant as far as I remember) Anyways, back to reality. I have been in positive spirits, loving AA, doing the steps and happy to be with my family and feel some type of normalcy again. Once he told me that it brought be back to ground zero with all of the self hate, shame, embarrassment, fear and so on. The feeling of wanting to just give up, worthless, undeserving and void. I don’t feel like I am myself and I feel so disgusted with myself that I did what I did no matter my selfish excuses. I have been 3 months sober now with no intentions of turning back, but god the feeling of release that alcohol gave me from my problems feels so wonderful to think about right now. I’m not going to drink but to just shut out the world and myself gives me so much joy compared to having to live with who I am and had become with my alcoholism. I’m burnt out already and can’t stop thinking about what it means for my future. I want to feel alive again and the only thing I can think about right now is just disappearing. Sorry for the rant just needed to vent.

Recently my mother told me I was “going to end up like my grandad” who passed away 2 years ago due to liver failure (after decades of alcoholism) and I don’t know if she’s just being dramatic or not?
I’m 20 for reference and of course trying to have fun in my spare time outside of hospitality and it’s gruelling 47-50 hours a week.

I started partying last year August after going out with my coworkers at the time, since then I’ve missed maybe 1 or 2 weekends at the club. I’m there every weekend, the staff know me, give me free entry, discounts on drinks, I’m friends with the Dj’s who rotate on bookings, I’m also friends with security as they see me all the time. But apart from Friday and Saturday, I don’t really drink any other day of the week, apart from maybe a 175ml glass of wine after work, but usually just those 1 or 2 days a week.

Thing is my mother recently made this comment after this gone Saturday where I ended up in a&e for the 3rd time with alcohol poisoning. It’s rare it happens and I usually know when I’m “too drunk” but it’s not the first time. And when I’m out I admit I drink heavier than others.
My usual drinks on a night out is usually 4-6 Long Island ice tea’s (75ml of alcohol in each) and 5-10 Tequila bombs (25ml each) plus a few odd drinks here and there from my friends, usually just 1 or 2 Espresso martini’s (50ml each).

I wouldn’t say my drinking affects my personal relationships negatively, I’ve actually made way more positive connections and friendships at the club than ever before, and I feel extremely confident and social when drunk, I’ve never had a fight or argument when drinking. But I will admit I’ve taken a few guys home or ended up at a guys house, but that’s not common anymore. My professional career isn’t effected negatively by it either, I always make sure I when I drink I have a day off after and I never come hungover or drunk to work, and I’ve bonded with my colleagues way better over drinks than I would have without after work drinks. And that’s why i think my mum might be dramatic because it’s not like it affects major aspects of my life? I drink a lot in one sitting but it’s rare I end up in hospital and it doesn’t affect my personal life or career, it’s actually improved both due to social bonding. But I also don’t know if I am just trying to “justify” it in my mind or if I’m right & it isn’t actually a major issue like binge drinking?