Like most they know about addiction, about alcoholics, but they don't really understand us. Especially the crippled guys like me and some in here. They don't understand how suicidal it is, don't drink and you die, drink and you'll still die. They don't know about what we go through when we stop. For them we are like stupid people destroying themselves. I speak 4 languages fluently, been all around the world. Don't fucking look at me like I am subhuman or idk. Sorry I am tired and needed to rant. Good day.

If it wasn't for my dog I'll opt out.

I’m on day two sober and I can’t stop scratching myself the worst part is my back

So during group today I guess we wrote a little letter to ourselves. This is mine.

I am filling out this bucket of kindness because I have been a bad person.

I plan to express how sorry I am for letting people down.

I plan to prove to people that the old me is dead.

Because I don't like the person I've become and I hate that I've hurt people.

I will get sober and stay sober, better myself for my daughter, and prove to myself I can be a good person.

I'm not as bad as I tell myself and I am worthy of love.

I will get my own place, start driving and live an independent life. I will never depend on a woman again. I will be in charge of my own happiness.

I will stay off alcohol and stop seeing the world so negatively.

I’m curious if anyone else started well into their 20s or 30s and began to develop problems. I feel like if I had waited until after my brain developed (mid-late 20s), I would not have much of an issue quitting.

Been attempting to taper but been failing miserably. Yesterday I woke up at 4 am and then started drinking at 5:30 am, didn’t stop until 11pm. Ended up downing 19 shots total if my math is right, I keep a log everyday. This is really sad to me because it’s the most I’ve drank since maybe my first taper attempt. Is this going to affect the taper? Can I cut back to like 15 today? Or did I screw myself with yesterday? I’m really not trying to have any more than 15 today. Ugh

I've been in the hospital 3 times in the last 2 months for alcohol withdrawals, 3 fucking times. Each time I tell myself it's the last time, but here I am again, at home tapering after a coke and alcohol bender that has once again destroyed my partner's faith and respect for me.

I've been drinking and using drugs for over half my life, my dad would ply me with alcohol and valium at 10 years old just to shut me (and my problems) up. I'm only 27 years old but I just feel like a lost cause.

And the worst part is I don't even want to stop, if it wasn't for my partner I'd drink every single day, just as I did before I met him. But I have to get better for him, I don't give a shit whether I live or die but I love him so much that I want to do better for him.

I was never really a bender person, but this last year has been so bad. I'm going for like 5-7 days, drinking morning till night, combining it with coke, not sleeping for days on end until I blackout. My mental health is destroyed, and it's terrible even when I'm sober. I'm drinking escape, like many of us here, but this cannot continue. I'm calling the crisis team in the morning to get help.

I just needed to vent.

I hadn’t drank in months and screwed up a 20 day bender. Mostly about a handle of vodka or a bit more.

I was sobering up like I always do and last night during the day and night I had pretty scary hallucinations

Today I thought I was going to be better but started hearing voices and songs as well.

Kinda scared. Not crazy shadow demons just like songs and scary sirens even heard my ex wife at one point.

Took the day off to continue to taper but idk if I’m of the hook or not.

Havnt slept in 3 days either.

Update: Guys I made it out 😊.

Thank you for everyone for telling me to go to the ER !! I don’t think I would’ve survived it without the right medication and care from the med team.

Med team was Amazing. Most amazing group on humans I’ve ever met they didn’t judge me once and were attentive and gave me the sedatives I needed when I asked.

I’m crying back home in the uber right now back home lol I really just wanted to feel myself again. I was doing so good. Fudge alcohol man.

They gave me a script of Librium to finish the taper at home. Gonna go home take a nice shower put on some comfy clothes and watch a good movie.

I am going through some really hard stuff right now and I am mad at myself but I’ve drank to medicate, alone, a handful of times after two years alcohol free. I want to stop before it becomes a problem again but my motivation to live right now isn’t even very strong. I have been living off just a part time job because my business is struggling in this economy so I’ve lost my health insurance, had a lapse in mental health medication bc of it, gave up therapy to afford groceries and now I can’t afford either. I think right now drinking feels like harm reduction because it’s probably keeping me from hurting myself worse, but I know drinking is hurting me, too, and I am so frustrated that I can’t seem to stop the impulse that I thought I’d outgrown.

It DOES GET EASIER. Not all at once, the beginning is a battle. Rehab helps, so does Vivitrol. This was my second try, didn't get it the first time. But it does get easier. I got laid off last month, I thought about grabbing a pint of vodka for about 45 seconds. A year ago Id have drank until I crashed my car. I was HEINOUS at my worst. Upwards of 30 drinks a day. If I can do it, so can anybody reading this. You deserve to live the life you want

Went for a small vacation and drank for about 6 days in a row.

I drank very heavily the Thursday-Friday-Saturday and stopped drinking that Saturday night.

Not even sure how many beers I’ve had in that time span but I feel absolutely terrible.

It’s been almost 48 hours since my last drink but I still feel so anxious and terrified that I’m not going to make it through this.

I can never let myself go through this again, I have been a bedridden mess.

I remember having this happen to me around NYE when I drank 3 days in a row.

I clearly just cannot drink ever because this is ridiculous. I’m so angry with myself and embarassed that I am so scared to die from something I self inflicted…

The people around me keep saying I am going to be okay and I just wish I could believe it too.

Sorry for the whiny rant, I just can’t keep complaining to those living with me. I know I must be annoying the hell out of them.

Edit: Daily updates are in the comments

I feel like I’m spiraling. I read some stuff I wish I hadn’t read on another subbreddit and now I’m freaked out even more.

I somehow need to be well enough to work tomorrow because I cannot lose my job. Why does the second day almost feel worse than the first?

Once again, I did this to myself so maybe I deserve it

Edit 2:

Update for day three, I woke up an hour before my alarm feeling like garbage again. I thought I had turned a corner but I still feel shakey and my stomach is in complete shambles.

Had to essentially run to my washroom and had a less than pleasant experience which spike my anxiety all over again.

I debated calling out of work and if I get fired then so be it. This constant anxiety is crippling me, I once again am so upset that I did this to myself.

Is it even possible to still be this hungover by day 3??? I’m not sure how to push through other than to keep drinking water and gatorade.

Only positive is I got about 4 hours of decent sleep which is nice. I just want to feel normal again

God, where to even start.
I’m in a long distance relationship, we meet a couple times a year, my drinking was always nearly the end of our relationship a couple of times. Too many relapses and last straw conversations. On my knees. My partner thinks I’m sober now. I’ve been binge drinking on the sly.

I’ve always been self destructive, suicidal, I just can’t stand myself.

I feel so guilty, I can’t admit it, not after so many promises. It would be the end of any trust that’s left.

How the fuck do I end this.

“I'm guilty, baby, I'm guilty
And I'll be guilty all the rest of my life
How come I never do what I'm supposed to do?
How come nothing that I try to do ever turns out right?

You know, you know how it is with me, baby
You know, you know I just can't stand myself
And it takes a whole lot of medicine
For me to pretend that I'm somebody else”

Hello, obviously asking a doctor would be best but my appointment with my GP on how to manage my detox is on Wednesday so posting here for some peace of mind. After a good amount of time of not drinking, last week I flopped and have been drinking a bottle and a half of wine every night for 8 days straight. I'm trying my absolute best to not give in today but I am experiencing mild hand shakiness and its freaking me out.

Basically, should I be concerned? No other symptoms besides that.

Im a week sober today, pretty much everything in my life needs to change still (Especially my job) but im grateful I made it this far.

Second photo was this morning, somehow already down 5 pounds.

I went to the ER because I was terrified of withdrawal and desperate to stop. I was given some fluids and sent home with 10 25mg capsules of Librium with the instructions of “take 1-2 capsules by mouth every 2 hours as needed for withdrawal symptoms.”

I’m a little confused by this approach as I’ve seen that most people do a taper with it. I don’t really know when or if I should take more. I also don’t take benzos and am not sure if it’s normal to feel generally “off”.

I’m not looking for medical advice but rather others personal experiences if you’ve taken Librium for withdrawal before.

I just really don’t want to have a seizure and die. TIA

I've been sober since April 2025 and I will not drink again. I know what alcohol did to me. I know that I can't just have one glass. And I know that if I drink for once again, I will do it again, and again. I know the circle, and I will not enter it again.

The first couple of months it was actually quite "easy" for me not to drink, as weird as that might sound. It feels like the longer I'm sober, the more I crave the "relaxation", the "numbing", alcohol gave me. I long for it SO SO much. :(

I have CPTSD, and currently life is not that easy for me. I just wanna numb all of it, but I can't. I have hobbies, I know theoretically know what's good for me, but it doesn't help me in the long run at the moment. The cravings for the feeling alcohol gives linger.

I don't even know why I'm writing this here. I think I just wanted to let it out. And ask you how you are doing and dealing with feelings like these?

I am in long term therapy, just btw.

Its Towel day!

So, 9 months out from a vicious 2 month bender.

After a life battling this thing off and on.

Started making Kombucha 5 months ago, fun hobby, I've always loved the flavor and homebrew comes out so much better than GTs.

But the EtOH *content has been creeping up in some batches. Never like a beer yet, not enough to spark that compulsion to drink more.

But, I realize I've been prob playing with 🔥, enjoying the slight buzz and rationalizing it's healthy and a constructive hobby.

Just yesterday afternoon after one particularly fizzy bottle I laid down in bed for a nap and noticed slight headache after, and just this blah feeling- not quite hung over but like I'm slipping.

I've got like 8 bottles from that batch I immediately refrigerated and the 18 bottles from the next batch I'm gonna stop fermentation before they get dangerous.

And I'm resting the scobys, gonna take a break and recenter before I crash and burn.

I know some people here use cannabis, tried that but I tend to go all out w that too. But I have to admit I've been like playing with the low alcohol level, trying to get a ever so mild buzz that is as much from the probiotics and ginger I think, but yes prob the ~1.5% EtOH too.

Thoughts? Every other relapse I see warning signs in hindsight and I've come too far to throw this away.

I really enjoy cracking a bottle of the homebrew booch with dinner, I use cold press ginger and it comes out awesome.

But it's not worth my sanity and health. Maybe take a break for a while, or just stop completely. I get so fixated on my routines even in sobriety, am a TBI survivor which doesn't help.

Do I just sound completely delusional?

im trying to stop drinking but for some reason when the weekend rolls around i find it hard to resist drinking. i think a large part of it is that i kind of hate working and i want to feel one night of great buzziness and stuff. and if i skip the opportunity it makes me feel sad because i know i will have to endure another week of work without it.

So I started yet my second taper, very much so want this to be my last. I went from about 8-10 units almost every day, to 5 just for one day, to 3 just for one day. I don’t have any shakes, I have some insomnia and sweating, and the nausea is really the only thing that has really affected me. I’ve had shakes now and then when I was really heavy into my drinking, but today I haven’t had anything and I still haven’t had tremors.

However, like any alcoholic, I’m being very paranoid about my health now that I decided to stop destroying it. I’m worried that a seizure is going to sneak up on me on day 3. That’s not going to make me drink, but I just wanted to know if anyone has experienced anything like that in their taper. I knew I couldn’t go cold turkey, I’m just afraid I tapered too fast and it’s going to catch up with me.

Not necessarily asking for medical advice, just experience!

I’m supposed to start it on Monday cause I’m a fat fuck but I’ve heard it also can have a positive effect on alcohol cravings? My biggest problem rn is that I work nights so I spend all day in my house alone and wow it’s hard to fight the temptation to kill boredom with vodka. And then vodka makes nothing else seem fun which makes me even more bored… etc