r/problemgambling • u/cosaecontestato • 4h ago
I ended things with man I love, because of his gambling problem
Hi everyone. I would like to share my situation with you, I am not an addict but someone very close to me is.
From the beginning I knew about his addiction, I lent him money and swallowed his lies even though I knew he was lying to me. This has been going on for more than a year. In the meantime he was left without friends, without a job and without money. I stayed with him through all the ups and downs, lending money that I never got back.
This month there was a collapse. I lent him over 3k within 20 days. I don't regret the money, I am not an addict and I will earn that money again. I regret the idea of what he could be, I regret his previous life that he lived before he fell into that black hole of 'the next win and I stop'.
Today I ended things with him, I put an end to the relationship with him because he gambled away my money for renting an apartment. First I lent him the money, because he sold me a story about something else, we went to dinner and after dinner he gambled away all that money in front of me, while I was begging him not to do it.
I'm scared of what will happen to him, my soul hurts because I know he has no one sincere around him, that everyone has given up on him. I am scared that he will hurt himself after me ending things with him, but if he is destroying his life I cannot let him destroy mine too. I have been crying all day, not because of the money, I will manage. I am crying because I am scared of what will happen to him next.
Conversations, promises, lies, I endured everything, hoping that he would move from the spot and that he would start doing something about his situation. Unfortunately, all the conversations and promises about stopping gambling, about self-exclusion from gambling were just a facade and manipulation to keep me in a vacuum and hope that my effort would pay off.
I am crying because for a year I tried to help someone who does not want help, someone who does not see the casino as a problem but as a solution.
The point of my post is, if you are an addict, take a good look at what you are doing to the people you love, who are there for you. One day you will lose even the last person who has patience, love, and the desire to help.