I received a payment of $1200 from a stranger on Venmo and immediately after, I got two requests for $1200 from the same person. They’re saying it’s for their wedding venue and that they accidentally sent it to the wrong person. Is it safe for me to send it back to them or could that potentially open me up to getting hacked? I tried contacting Venmo and they have not been helpful. The person seems legit and there’s other transactions relating to a wedding on their profile too.

I booked and paid for a hotel room for my boyfriend and me for a 2 day trip in a different city. We had only been there for about 2 hours when he started hitting his weed pen in the room. I wasn’t smoking it or anything but the room got foggy and then It set off the fire alar.
When the hotel staff came, my boyfriend tried to lie tell them it was incense, but they could clearly smell the weed and didn’t believe him. I thought it was so stupid for him to lie and say that and I did tell the hotel lady that he was smoking. We were kicked out with no refund, and now the hotel says they’re going to charge me an additional $250 because they have to call the fire department to turn off the alarm in the room .
The reservation and payment were all under my name, so I’m the one losing the money. My boyfriend is the one who decided to smoke inside the room, even though the hotel had a no-smoking policy.
I’m upset because I paid for everything and now I’m out the cost of the room plus another $250. I don’t know if I should dispute the charge if they add it to my card, or if I should just demand that my boyfriend reimburse me for everything.
What would you do in my situation?

Hello besties,

I’m a 20F who was working at a call center. The job was honestly pretty easy and chill. I’m a very creative person, so I was always coming up with ideas to make work easier for everyone. A few of my projects were actually approved and put into action, and they even replaced some old procedures with new ones because of those ideas. I was friends with most people in the office, and I was even looking forward to becoming a manager. My team lead and some of the trainers had talked about giving me that opportunity.

However, there was an old lady at work who got hired and, for some reason, she didn’t like me. Mind you, I had never even spoken to her. We sat in completely different areas of the office you couldn’t even see her from where I sat.

I started hearing rumors from my friends that she was talking badly about me and trying to turn people against me. On top of that, she was reporting me to management, saying I was rude and that I called someone stupid. None of that ever happened. I’m someone who takes accountability for my actions. If I say or do something wrong, I’ll own it because I’m an adult and I know actions have consequences. But these were things I never did, and it really bothered me because I was hoping to move into a management position. I didn’t want people believing things that weren’t true.

So I spoke to my team lead about it, and he said he would take care of it. That was last week. I even saw the team leads talking to her, so I thought everything had been handled.

It hadn’t.

Today I was called into the management office, and the worst happened, I got fired.

I have a video of the meeting. You’ll hear me getting fired. This is the first time I’ve ever been fired in my life, and I was in complete shock. All I could say was “okay” because I knew if I tried to explain myself, I would start crying. I was trying so hard to hold myself together. They didn’t even let me grab my things before walking me out.

The crazy part is that this wasn’t the first accusation. Last month, this same lady and one of her friends claimed they heard me talking badly about someone. The truth is, I was joking around with my friends about other friends. It was just normal conversation, nothing mean. She somehow changed the story and said I was talking about someone in the company. The thing is, I never even mentioned anyone’s name, so I don’t know how she came to that conclusion. I still got written up, and as far as I know, there was never any real investigation and again no choice but signed it.

I live in Utah, where jobs don’t pay very well, so this has been devastating. I was finally getting close to moving out of my parents’ house, and now I have to stay longer because I suddenly have no job.

I honestly still can’t believe this happened

FIRST EDIT:I love all of your comments, questions, kindness, and advice. ❤️ I noticed a lot of people were asking for more information, so here’s a shorter explanation now that I’ve had time to calm down.

An older woman in her 60s was hired last month. I never really spoke to her because we didn’t have much in common. I was actually away from work for about four weeks, and when I came back, several coworkers warned me that she liked to gossip.

Not long after, she reported me, claiming she heard me badmouthing another agent. That never happened. I was talking with three friends about mutual friends, and we weren’t saying anything negative. She sits far away from us, so I don’t even know how she could have heard what she claimed.
Then six different coworkers told me she had been talking badly about me. I reported the situation to a team lead, making it clear I wasn’t trying to get anyone fired. After that, she reported me to HR for allegedly bullying her and other people. I have six witnesses who can back up my side of the story.
Also, when an adjuster at work harassed me by calling me a baby and saying he would kiss me, I reported it because it made me uncomfortable. Other women said they were scared of him too. HR simply told him not to do it again, and he still works there.

SECOND EDIT: Hey guys, I’m back with a few clarifications now that I’ve had time to think everything through.

As much as I appreciate everyone suggesting unemployment, I won’t be applying. In my opinion, those benefits should go to people who are really struggling financially. I’m fortunate enough to live with my parents and have a good amount in savings.

The “joking” everyone keeps asking about was simply me talking with my friends about my friend’s baby, who has a ton of hair. I joked that I wanted a baby with that much hair too. That’s it.

Unfortunately, in Utah this isn’t illegal, so there’s not much I can do besides accept it and move forward.

I included the reason for my first write-up. I had worked there for a long time without ever receiving one. Then, within the first month of this older woman being hired, I got my very first write-up because of her report.

​I don’t even know where to start. My heart and my life feel like they’ve shattered into a million pieces.

​Up until a week ago, my boyfriend (1.5 years together) was the most loving, caring, and wonderful partner I could have ever asked for. Just the day before he left, he surprised me at work out of nowhere just to see me. I felt so loved and secure.

​Then he left for a trip to the mountains with his friends, staying at a buddy’s apartment. Almost immediately, everything flipped 180 degrees. He completely started ignoring me. He pulled away, barely replied to my messages, and left me feeling like I was losing my mind. I knew in my gut that something was horribly wrong.

​When he finally came back, he acted distant and cold, as if he was waiting for me to break up with him. He had two full days to come clean or talk to me, but he stayed silent. Finally, I pressed him, and the truth came out.

​He admitted that while on the trip, he stayed close to a girl he literally met a week ago (who is visiting from abroad and leaves in a week). He confessed to:

​Sleeping right next to her while holding her hand.

​Going on evening walks with her, holding hands.

​Cuddling with her and having her sit on his lap.

​Emotional intimacy that went far beyond "friendship."

​He looked me in the eye and told me he thinks he "likes her" and felt a "spark" with her - a spark he claims had faded between us.

​At first, he acted cold. He said he wanted to break up, that he didn't deserve a second chance, and that he didn't even want one. Then, his story shifted, and he started claiming that "it wasn't actually cheating."

​Now, he’s spiraling and spamming me with horribly long messages begging for forgiveness. He says he suddenly realized what he lost, apologizing profusely, and literally told me he "destroyed his house for a night in a hotel." He is begging for another chance and claims that while it was happening, he didn't realize what he was doing or view it as cheating.

​To me, this is both physical and emotional cheatin, and the emotional betrayal hurts ten times worse. I feel so much disgust thinking about how he could do this after everything we built. That he could bond like that with some other girl that he wont see ever again.

​I’m completely lost. Cheating has always been an absolute dealbreaker for me, but I’m struggling to process this:

​Is it even possible for someone to "not realize" this was cheating, or is that just a pathetic excuse to shift guilt?

​How do I actually leave when I know in my head I have to, but my heart physically can't bring itself to let go?

​Is giving a second chance in a situation like this ever realistic, or am I just holding onto the ghost of who he used to be?

​I feel sick to my stomach and just need some honest advice or perspective from people who have been through this.

​TL;DR: My loving boyfriend of 1.5 years went on a trip, held hands, slept next to, and cuddled another girl he met a week ago. He claimed he felt a "spark," initially wanted to break up, then denied it was cheating, and is now begging for forgiveness saying he regrets "destroying his house for a night in a hotel." I feel broken and don't know how to walk away.

He says I am trespassing and says he never met me to the cops (which is not the truth) he is just lying because he can as it was more of a verbal agreement for a room share as i am a student. What do I do?

Additional info: He threw 20% of my things out but I called the cops and he stopped. He thought he could do that. I am still figuring out my next steps as my laptop is broken the way he threw my backpack. 2 cracks, still works but screen needs to be replaced

For context my boyfriend was showing his sisters outfit on facetime, she had on a mid length black skirt and he was being super weird about it. He said “she wants to get r*ped and die”. I was like what..?? I then said “It can happen to anyone even babies proving it doesn’t matter what you wear” and that’s where he drew the line saying “i’m glad i turned you down that’s weird” WHAT? How is it weird when i say a real life situation as you literally are saying it’s gonna happen to your sister. He does it to me to where i’ll wear shorts or a skirt and says “you want to get r*ped so bad” and i’ll lose it on him because it’s so weird and odd why would you even say that. I’ve also told him it can literally happen to your mom, grandma, whoever and he gets mad at me for that but i don’t understand why when he thinks it’s okay for him to do it. What do i do?

Just some context, my husband got fired from a different hospital before from his residency program for having sex with a nurse in the hospital bathroom. A medical student reported them and they were escorted out of the hospital by security. He was put on probation because of this. After that, he was caught drinking in a rooftop bar during his night shift meeting with the same nurse so he was eventually fired and kicked out from his program. The program also knows he is using weed outside the hospital but still under the clock while doing notes for patient charts. All of this was reported to me by their chief resident, program director, and other "good samaritans" who messaged me anonymously on social media. I found out that he was telling everyone we're not married and was just boyfriend-girlfriend. (June 2024)

We recently just got married (2023) and I just received my green card so this is being put over my head about accepting him back and fixing things. It also matters to me because I have spent so much time and money for my application just for him to ruin it for me. We have been together 6 years not including the 3 years we have been married.

Fast forward to us moving to NYC where I'm working at (August 2024). I decided to move forward and build our life again (as a stupid wife). I supported him with my little salary, paid for rent, utilities, food, groceries. All he was paying for was our cats by using his parent's credit card. I helped him with my connections in the city to get back on his feet. He was finally able to convince another residency program to take him.

He worked in this hospital first with a different position (August 2025) and they decided to take him in as their resident. He's only been working there for a year before starting as a resident a month ago (residency starts on June, yearly). I was charging our Apple Watch on a random day and some women intuition was just telling me something's not right. I found out in his WhatsApp some messages from a girl saying "I want your kisses again (name)" and "Can you not wear your glasses when we ding ding" and "pound your white ass body on me". It felt like a bucket of ice was thrown on my body but I am also not surprised this happened again. The messages were recent from May 25, 2026. I decided to confront my husband about it when he gets home but I couldn't wait so I called him while he's in the hospital. He said he doesn't know that person when I asked him so I said I have seen the messages. He denied them until he said it was just flirtatious banters. But I pointed out that it said "kiss you again" means that not nothing happened. So he said it was going on for 3 months and blocked her already. He said they kiss on the hospital lobby and was walking her out.

Now I'm sitting on this thinking if I should report him to HR and his residency program. Please give me some advice. All I have are pictures of messages in his Apple Watch and videos showing that it is his account and showing girl's number and their messages. I don't know if this is enough evidence to report someone. I am also considering the NYS Medical Board. I would love to report the girl/nursing student also to her school since she knew about me and keeps messaging him that's why he blocked her (according to him). She's not rotating in the same hospital as my husband anymore and I do not have ways to find out more information about her. All I have is her first name and her number. I reverse-searched her number on Zelle and her registered name there is still unsearchable online. ALSO, he is still using weed while doing his patient charts at home. So many problems that he has which is becoming a pattern.

I understand everyone will just tell me to leave and that my Green Card will be fine but I'm also a doctor and honestly I would not let this slide if it were my co-worker fucking around the hospital. Please give me some enlightenment or some options on what to do.

I'm the mom of a 19 year old. I recently noticed, while we were on holiday, that she has scars on her upper thigh. She wasn't aware that her shorts had ridden up when she sat down, so I don't think she realized they were visible.

I didn't want to bring it up while we were on holiday, but now that we're back, I'd like to mention it. I'm just not sure how to approach the conversation.

There are also a few other things I've noticed that concern me. She seems to have lost weight quite fast, and she's made a lot of negative comments about her body and how insecure she feels about herself. she skips meals a lot but plays it down that shes not hungry. maybe she really isnt but im not sure as i have dealt with eating issues as a teenager.

On top of that, she's made a lot of jokes about suicide. Her older sister has told me about them, and she was concerned enough to mention them to me. Apparently, shes even joked about making an attempt. I know that people sometimes joke about suicide, but I'm not sure how seriously I should take these comments, and I'm worried that I might dismiss something important. She has tiktok reposts about her mental health that my daughter has also shown me that point towards suicide and other stuff.

for unrelated things i told her she should go to the doctors but she never wants too, so im worried she will also downplay this and wont want to get help if she needs it.

There are several things I want to talk to her about, but I don't know how to bring them up in a way that doesn't make her shut down or feel judged.

I'm a male in my 20s, live by myself and have 5 years work experience in IT. My current job is exactly what I enjoy, team is great, culture is really relaxed. Plus, I got insanely lucky and can work remotely in my apartment. Now I’ve been offered a role paying around 150k, but it’d mean minimum 3 days in person, 30-minute drive each way, not accounting for peak hour traffic tbh, and I’m not sure about the culture. I honestly don’t know what to do. 

she went to a beach trip with her family 3 days ago and has been feeling shit for the last three days. she's a pseudo recovered anorexic, so what i'm assuming is going to the beach made her feel more insecure about her own body. she's been talking more and more about her weight these past few weeks but now it's gone off the roof.

the thing is i practically lost my best-ever friend to a ed, to the point where he didn't text me for a week straight and started to cut contact because he didn't have the energy to talk to anyone because of his ed. I practically tore myself apart to help him, because I felt so lonely without him.

the problem is that i'm starting to see the signs that my old bsf gave me before starting to slowly cut everyone out of his life WITH HER TOO + i'm starting to see myself try to save her like i did my best friend also. I'm worried that she will cut me off like he did too, but i'm also worried that i'm gonna tear myself apart again trying to salvage us. what can i do?

I live in an apartment with my fiancée. Our neighbors across the hall have been smoking. We’re not Karen’s but the smell of smoke has been very strong in our apartment lately. After contacting the landlord and property manager they kept saying they’d take care of it. It would stop for 2 days or so and then return. Mind you the smell of cigarettes has been incredibly pungent inside our apartment. After calling the property manager and landlord, they posted a sign on everyone’s door today. The across the hall neighbor, upon returning home and seeing this, pounded on our door and was swearing up a storm. My fiancée was home alone for this before I could rush home from work. The lady left before I returned home. The landlord said he’d handle the neighbor tomorrow afternoon after she has a day to “cool down”. My fiancée doesn’t feel safe alone as the neighbor has a large man living with her. We’re not 100% sure what to do as we have done nothing wrong. We now have boot marks on our door and profanities screamed through our door. I know we could get a ring camera or something but that doesn’t really do much when there’s a woman home alone. Even if they stay or even if they get evicted, they’re mad at US and clearly aren’t afraid to make a fuss about it. Any advice?

I have a brother who is a complete loser and has no aspirations in life other than to play video games all day and only work a part time job. He is 25 years old and lives with my parents. My parents just recently got a divorce and they are selling the house. My dad is moving away and can’t take him with him. My mom offered to let him stay at her new apartment but with rules, he declined. He asked my grandmother to move in with her and this is a horrible idea because he is an extremely dirty person who wants to live without any rules and have his grandmother take care of him. He’s a manipulator, liar, and just overall a disgusting human being. For some context, our grandmother is in her 70s and my grandfather has Parkinsons disease. My grandmother still needs to work to pay the bills to afford day-to-day expenses for her and my grandfather. She is very overly caring and will definitely pay his expenses if he moves in, she cannot say no to him, and if he does something wrong, she would definitely cover it up. I know he plans on taking advantage of the situation and taking advantage of her financially and emotionally. My parents don’t care to intervene even though they know this is wrong. No other family member cares to do anything about it but the situation is going to be borderline abusive to my grandparents. What can I do to get him out of my grandparents house. I don’t care how unethical or sneaky it is. I need him out for my grandparents sake. Please give me any answers.

My boss is 54(M) and I think he has a bowel issue. He's very self conscious about it so idk how to approach the issue but no one else feels the need, in fact they think it's funny. I've been working at a small company for about three months and when I first started there they had this joke about how if something silent but violent happens everyone goes silent. My coworkers told me I would figure it out when it happened. On the third or fourth day I was working in the office off the workshop and I smelt something absolutely horrendous. The office is right next to the lunchroom and I was wondering if it was something someone was heating up. It was me and another coworker and the boss in the office and I said absent-mindedly 'do you guys smell that?'. The boss glared at me and said 'smell WHAT?' and I was genuinely so confused. Like, if it was him why wouldn't he just laugh or admit it? Or if he was embarrassed why wouldn't he just stay quiet? After he left my other coworker was laughing quietly and when I asked him what the deal was he told me it was related to that joke they had. If anyone says anything when the boss farts it's like the entire world is ending. Apparently even when his wife visits the workshop (she handles payroll and some other stuff so comes in once or twice a week), she doesn't say anything and she backs him up in saying there's no smell etc. The thing is, some days it's almost constant and it's at the point now where if he's in the lunchroom people won't eat in there. I think he has a massive problem and is just ignoring it and his wife is enabling him?? Obviously this is a delicate situation and I know I havent been there long but they're really lovely people and honestly Id feel awful if he was genuinely sick and I had just stayed silent out of social politeness. Any advice is appreciated.

I (27F) been texting with a guy (30M) all day, everyday for about a week.

He seems like a great guy, we have good chemistry- overall- I honestly like him. And it seems like he’s serious too.

We are set up to meet tomorrow- we haven’t done that yet because I was on a vacation.

Everything feels good. Except one problem- 1-2 days ago, he started being more open and talk a lot about sex/sex-related topics.

I wrote him that I feel uncomfortable about this, and he apologised and agreed to stop, but still- I have a bad feeling in my gut that he might not be serious.

What do I do?

*For context, we played a “game” where he wanted me to guess a fetish that he has (he hasn’t told me yet, I just guessed), and he talked a little about his sexual history. When he started asking questions about my sexual history- I told him that I’m uncomfortable with it and he stopped.

Hi all, this might be a bit strange of a question, but I (20M) have a friend (20M) who I've known since we were both young. We've both grown up in a rather small town so we've been really close friends most of our lives. I started estrogen when I turned 18 because I thought I was a trans woman, but I've discovered I'm context being a feminine gay guy. But I do still take the estrogen cuz it's been helping a lot with my mood and stuff. But ever since my chest started getting bigger, my friend won't stop touching me in weird places and it's making me anxious. I really like him as a friend, and I don't want this to become I problem. He has a girlfriend and isn't even attracted to me so I dont know why he wont stop even though I've asked him multiple times to. It's not just my chest anymore either, he'll just poke or pinch or grab any part of me and it'll happen out of no where. I'm worried I'm making this a bigger deal than it has to be but what's making me even more upset is that I used to be friends with his girlfriend but now she doesn't talk to me anymore, and I think because of him, more of our friends have decided poking and prodding at me is ok. I ask them not too, but I don't think it's working, and I always feel bad after cuz I think I'm making a big deal out of this. I guess what I'm asking is, am I making it too big of a deal or is this something rightfully upsetting and I need to find out a way to stop it? I live in a small town in rural upstate NY so my friends are all I've got. I don't want to drive them away by being rude or making this out to be too big of a deal.

I’ve moved in my house a couple of years ago. One of the reasons why the previous owner sold the house to me was that he couldn’t bear with arrogant and entitled neighbours.
Since moving in I’ve had problems with them. Some examples:
1. They used my yard to keep their unused stuff like old fridges, washing machines, etc. The previous owner couldn’t make them take the stuff out, and was not able to build a fence between them so they just kept doing it. I’ve built a wall inside of my property and told them to take their stuff out, blocking them from using my property. That was followed by a lot of cussing and insults, as well as questions like ‘who let you build a wall’ and stuff like that.
2. My parking lot is a lot bigger and in better shape, so they used to park their vehicles there. I asked them to move. They refused and continued parking there until I planted some plants between us so they physically couldn’t do it anymore. Also was followed by a lot of cussing and insults. Now their kids constantly ride their bikes on it but I don’t mind, but they often take off from the concrete and destroy the grass and plants (again, what the hell with entitlement). When asked politely to stop, they do it even more out of spite.
3. The older ones broke into my yard and stole some construction stuff - not high value, but still.. called the police, sued them, but the local police is holding back the documents from prosecutors ( Did I mention that they are a family of cops? ).

Etc… and it’s not that I’m afraid of them, it’s just that I do not know how to behave… I have this anger towards them just seeing them even when they’re doing nothing, and I cannot calm down.

The main question is - what do I do to cope with this? I’m not leaving my home and I’m definitely not going to keep arguing with them because there’s no point.

Sorry for a longer post. Just had to ask for an advice, it’s getting hard to bear at this point since it’s lasting for years.

My boyfriend has never given me a reason not to trust him. We’ve been together for (3) years, have a baby less than a year old, and our anniversary is in two weeks. We have arguments here and there like any couple, but I genuinely never thought cheating was something I’d have to deal with.

I’m at a complete loss.

A few days ago, I caught him cheating. It wasn’t physical (as far as I know), but he was sexting another woman while lying next to me and our baby. I found out completely by accident. His alarm was going off the next morning and he wouldn’t wake up, so I grabbed his phone to turn it off. That’s when I saw the messages.

I confronted him and kicked him out. Later, I let him come home because I couldn’t handle the thought of everyone asking questions about why he wasn’t there or why he wasn’t at our baby’s upcoming birthday party.

The problem is that I can’t move past it. Every time I look at him, I think about those messages. I can’t forget what I saw, and right now I don’t feel like I can forgive it either. I feel hurt, angry, embarrassed, and confused all at the same time.

I’ve never been in this position before. For anyone who’s been through something similar, what did you do? Did you stay? Did you leave? How did you know what the right decision was?

TLDR: My boyfriend of several years, who has never given me a reason not to trust him, was caught sexting another woman while lying next to me and our baby. I found the messages by accident when his alarm was going off and he wouldn’t wake up. I kicked him out but later let him come home because I couldn’t handle the questions from family and friends, especially with our baby’s birthday and our anniversary coming up. I can’t stop thinking about it, can’t forget what I saw, and don’t know if I can forgive him. For those who have been through something similar, what did you do?

I don’t know what is normal here. We bought our house in 2020, left in 2023 and rented it out for two years before returning in 2025. We ended up evicting those tenants because they didn’t pay their rent and ruined our house (we had a management company that completely dropped the ball). About a week ago someone came trying to serve papers to the tenant. I told them they don’t live here anymore and they left.

Tonight a car with a smashed front side and heavily tinted windows was idling in front of our house for 20 minutes. I immediately felt threatened by it and my husband and I watched it carefully. we have three kids, 8, 3, and 1. There’s the front door with lots of big windows and the back patio door onto a deck with a full staircase. So retreating from a threat isn’t the easiest thing and something I’ve thought about before.

Two guys maybe 18-20s came out and one said ”they have a Ring camera.“ looking back on the crummy footage I have they were covering it with an arm.

My husband yelled through to door without opening it to go away. They wouldn’t leave and said they were looking for the tenant. My husband kept telling them he doesn’t live here anymore and to leave and they kept arguing with him, saying “but can you confirm that?” I took the kids to the garage to put them in the car and was on the phone with the police.

The two guys left eventually and drove away before the police arrived. We were told to call again if we see that car. But I’m left with this house that feels ruined in another way now. Are they going to come back? Are the kids and I safe? What do we do if someone does break in (and it’s a standard suburb home, even the front door felt unsafe to me)? If we go downstairs we’re basically cornered.

What is the best security option for me here? Or should we just leave?

Quit a remote job 5/18 and began a new in-person job. I still have all of the equipment (monitor, PC, etc).

I have contacted multiple times various points of contact. I am constantly forwarded to other departments and points of contact. Nobody will facilitate me returning this stuff

I'm moving on Saturday. I want this equipment gone. I can't just get rid of it and pawn it off to a thrift store since I don't want to face legal issues. But I'm so sick of this computer sitting there and nobody letting me return it

What do I do? It seems insignificant but it's driving me nuts

I’m writing this here because, at the very least, shouting into the digital void guarantees that my existence is registered on some server. If no one reads it, it’s just a diary entry. If someone does, maybe I’ll feel marginally less insignificant.
I am currently experiencing the slow, methodical erasure of my own identity. I am not someone who enjoys being invisible, nor am I entirely comfortable with absolute solitude. It’s a hilarious paradox: I desperately want to belong to a society that I am profoundly terrified of. I spend my days agonizing over microscopic social infractions—did I sit weirdly? Did my voice crack? Will they look at me like an alien? People love to hand out the aggressively useless advice of, "Just don't care what people think!" spoken with the breezy confidence of someone who has never inhabited my specific brand of misery.
Let's do a quick chronological tour of my decline. Elementary school was a masterclass in isolation. I walked alone. By Grade 4, I was the designated target—mocked for being fatherless and having permanent dark circles under my eyes. Middle school wasn't a redemption arc; it was just a new venue for the same old routine. I was the archetypal loser. The pièce de résistance of this era was my mother literally dragging me to a friend's front yard just to publicly humiliate me. You don't just bounce back from that; you adapt.
So, I adapted. I became exceptionally skilled at lying to myself. I convinced myself none of the trauma happened. I managed to fabricate a faux-happiness that was so convincing, even I fell for it for a few years. I tried putting myself out there, completely neglecting my own physical state, and predictably ended up with a terrible woman who temporarily derailed my life. But if there’s one thing I’m equally as good at as self-loathing, it’s self-deception.
By late high school, I had evolved. I stopped just lying to myself and started lying to everyone else to curate a flawless image. I met someone new, and this time, I weaponized my speaking skills. I didn't just date her; I manufactured a dependency. I couldn't control anything in my actual life, so I controlled her. I systematically made her terrified of losing me. It worked perfectly at first. It turns out, when the universe forgets to hardwire you with decent moral qualities, you get really creative with psychological manipulation.
Unsurprisingly, you can only hold someone emotionally hostage for so long before they get exhausted. She left, completely blinding me. My immediate reaction? I doubled down on the facade. I lied to everyone, claiming I was completely indifferent, maintaining the illusion that I was still the untouchable mastermind who had it all figured out.
Which brings us to today. The architecture of lies I’ve built is actively crushing me. I don’t allow myself a single second of peace. My current coping mechanism involves bingeing on overwhelmingly sweet food, only to violently purge it right after—a physical manifestation of my own guilt and self-punishment. I hurl abuse at myself constantly because there is absolutely no one else to blame for this reality but me.
When I look in the mirror, I don't see a mastermind. I see a fat, pathetic loser who successfully amputated himself from a society he simultaneously resents and yearns for. Frankly, being a mindless cog in that sickening social machine sounds a hell of a lot better than staring at my own reflection.
The worst part is that I’m not a complete sociopath. I’m not entirely incapable of human connection. I have these bizarre, fleeting bursts of charisma and courage where I actually think I’m articulate and capable. But they always fade, leaving me back in this meticulously crafted pit.
I just want to know: how much longer can a life continue to sink into this specific shade of pitch black?

Thu 23 jul 00:38

I’ve read through the comments. The consensus is remarkably uniform: “Get professional help,” “reprogram your algorithms,” “change your environment,” “you’re just stuck in freeze mode.”
I understand these responses come from a place of well-meaning, textbook logic. But there is a profound, almost comical disconnect between clinical platitudes and the reality of a life forged in systemic, physical violence.
To those suggesting I simply 'hire a therapist,' 'try CBT,' or 'move to a new country': you are operating under the First-World assumption that there is a functional baseline to return to. Changing my zip code or sitting on a couch explaining my trauma to a licensed stranger doesn't magically undo the hardwiring of a child who learned that survival meant taking the impact of a boot to the head in silence. When your formative experience of 'seeking help' resulted in fractured ribs and being paraded in front of neighbors like a diseased stray, the concept of 'therapy' doesn't feel like healing—it feels like a dangerous violation of the exact survival code that kept me alive.
I don't lack the resources. As I've noted, I generate a First-World income while living in a Third-World ecosystem. I built that financial fortress entirely on my own. But bank statements cannot re-engineer a nervous system that was forged under active fire.
Perhaps I wasn't clear about my intentions in the original post: I am not here searching for a silver bullet, a CBT exercise, or a sanitized guide on how to 're-enter society.' For someone with my specific history, 'healing' is never going to look like a triumphant Hollywood comeback.
Maybe for someone like me, 'healing' isn't about being fixed at all. Maybe it’s simply the quiet, unfiltered catharsis of leaving these strange, morbid notes in the digital void—knowing that somewhere on the other side of the globe, a stranger took a few seconds to scroll through them and register that I exist.

good morning! asking for advice. bought a house about a year ago. I think once around halloween and once around christmas, we’d gotten a package delivered to our house with not the previous home owners name on it, but the person before that. they never contacted, must’ve just accepted the loss and moved on. since then, and moreso just in the past two months, the previous owner that we literally bought the house from, has been getting big packages sent to our house. i’m talking furniture, patio furniture, and overall heavy boxes (50+ lbs.) the first time it happened, we were like “oh man what do we do” and it was dropped off when we weren’t home. two days later, said previous owner came to our house and knocked on the door asking if we had her package which we did! handed it right over, my fiance actually helped load it to her car. (we had brought it in the garage due to heavy rain.) She apologized and said she had one other box already on the way and asked if we can text her when it comes, and she left her number. My fiance did just that, and she came to pick up the other box (left outside) the day after it was delivered. since then, my fiancé’s been fortunate enough to be home every time it’s happened but we KEEP getting packages here. my fiance runs outside every time the UPS or Fedex truck comes, and he turns away anything that isn’t addressed to us. the mail men are apologetic. We don’t know how to make it stop. i triple checked with my fiance that he didn’t give her permission to use our address however, he’s adamant she said it was just an accident and it wouldn’t happen again. is there ANYTHING i can do at this point?

So for context my friend was talking to me about how we shouldn’t eat meat because of how they treat the animals before we receive them. I essentially said that I was going to keep eating meat. They responded with well meat is very high in cholesterol and it’s not healthy for you. I disagreed and said well not all meat is bad for you. I was going to follow up with another point, but they cut me off and called me a mindless follower. Which I felt was very disrespectful, and kind of outrageous. Especially considering that I didn’t even want to have a debate with them. Also you’re going to call me a mindless follower over meat? I just wanted to talk with them about their stance, but immediately they basically went into calling me mindless and a follower. They ended up apologizing, but I still don’t want to forgive them. Not because of the name, but because they were willing to disrespect me at the cost of just believing in their point that much. What should I do?

Now for context. I was asked out by a guy friend from high school.

We've both been in college. He's been working on his confidence, I've been trying to date women.

He asked me out, I was worried because he's a sweet guy and I didn't want to hurt him.

Well, I told him the truth that I was a lesbian.

And he was accepting but he did also admit he was disappointed.

Not because I was a lesbian.

But because this was the SECOND time he's asked out a woman and she turned out to be a lesbian.

The difference is I was willing to pay for half of our date while the other woman waited to tell him AFTER the date was done and paid for.

Turns out he's Bi too so he completely understands the feelings I have.

We ended up just going to dinner and mini putt and a bunch of touristy things like arcades in the area and boat tours

Now however, I do feel bad and I think I got to find him a straight woman because this guy can't find a woman who likes dick to save his life

I (30M) have lived in a shitty, cramped apartment for years and want to finally move out. I am single with no kids, have no significant debt anymore. I have a 705 credit score and work as a software engineer (8 years experience) and earn around 130k annually after taxes.

I’m stuck between two houses and can’t figure out if I’m letting emotions cloud my judgment.

House #1 is $225k and has 2 beds, 2.5 baths, and 1,422 sq ft on a 3,136 sq ft lot. HOA is $63/month. I toured it recently and absolutely loved the interior. The layout, finishes, and overall feel of the place is just nice.

House #2 is $275k and has 3 beds, 2.5 baths, and 1,536 sq ft on a 3,920 sq ft lot. HOA is only $40/month. It’s also in a noticeably nicer area and would cut about 25 minutes off my commute to work, which is obviously a huge plus.

On paper, the second house seems like the smarter long-term choice: extra bedroom, bigger lot, lower HOA fees, shorter commute, and a better neighborhood. But the first house is $50k cheaper, and for whatever reason I genuinely enjoyed being inside it a lot more. What do I do?

I have been living at my current place for 14 years, and my next door neighbor is/was an elderly lady, but I never really had interactions with her, until she called the cops on me for a noise complaint the first year I lived at home. (My friends were talking too loudly at 3am smoking on my porch, so it was overblown, but whatever.)

Fast forward a few years and she no longer lives there. I talked to my other neighbor about her once and know she has 2 adult sons, where they are and their relationship with her, I have no idea. But just cause I said she no longer lives there doesn't mean she moved out or sold the house. This is where it gets weird.

Around the time she stopped living there, a new older guy showed up, and I noticed he wore a priest collar. I have been suspicious of him since the moment I laid eyes on him. He comes around to check on the house, and I have seen her with him from time to time - well, I assume it was her cause it looks like it could be her, but I have never been able to check up close. This guy always comes into my yard to throw away like 1 piece of trash that was probably in the lawn, but it looks like its an excuse to observe things between the houses because he seems to scan the area and be nosy.

Now, this is really all it amounts to, but like I just can't understand why you would maintain a house you aren't using for around 10 years. Also, a 2nd story window has been open for at least a year, and its one of those windows with a top section that can open downwards, so there is no screen either. I live in the midwest so we have all seasons, I can't imagine leaving a window wide open for a year straight is good for a house, even if there is an overhang directly above it.

Everything just seems so odd with this situation, it could have a normal reason, but I can't think of it. I have tried to get the police to look into it, but there isn't enough suspicion to warrant any action, which is what I kinda expected.

My brain keeps saying there are bodies in there, but I know I am probably just overthinking it and its probably some weird old lady reasoning or like maybe she is being scammed by someone who wants to take the house when she goes?

Either way, I don't NEED to do anything, but damn I am curious. I could theoretically do not quite legal things and snoop but I really would only do that if I had a high suspicion of something specific and dire. Otherwise, I see it as their business. I just can't shake the feeling that something odd is going on.