When me and him first met... he told me he was hesitant about a relationship because of trust issues. But overtime... we are getting closer and he's slowly letting me in. We met last month. Im 22... (23 in 3 months). He's 19... (20 in 2 weeks).

Ive been waiting for a guy like him to find me. I have been single for years. And the guys I did talk to you were not compatible with me (spiritually and morally). But he is.

He likes to talk about our views on marriage, family, morals, and just life. (Last night he told me how deep his wedding vows would be).

We met at the movies last night. I can feel an energy shift in our interactions. And it's a good one. I can feel the tension between us. And it's kinda romantic. He said i'm the only person he be around, and vice versa.

He keeps bringing up the fact that I felt so familiar to him from day one... despite us not knowing eachother.

Should I be patient and continue to pursue this?

I (20F) I've been living in an abusive household and dealing with family drama since I was a child because of my dad and his side of the family. It has impacted the way I see men.

During my teenage years, I really needed a shoulder to cry on, but I was always afraid to get into any kind of relationship because of how badly my dad treated my mum, even though I really wanted to be in one.

By the time I turned 18, I had become avoidant and started hating men, and that's how I've been ever since. My guy best friend of nine months recently confessed that he likes me and wants to be in a serious relationship with me. Although the feelings are mutual, I've gone no contact with him because I simply can't get over the belief that every man is just like my dad and will make me miserable the way my dad made my mum.

I don't think I'm traumatized or anything. I've coped with what happened a long time ago. I'm just being overly protective of myself. But if I keep thinking this way, I know for a fact that I'll never give any guy a chance.

I'd really appreciate any advice. Sorry for the long post.

Edit: I want to clarify that my dad wasn't like this from the beginning, my mum used to tell me he loved her so much up until she lost all her family to a tragic accident , that's when she had no one and he took advantage of abusing her rather than being a good husband and protecting her, this is what I'm afraid of (The switch up).

Sorry this is my first time posting. My boyfriend (20M) and I have been together for a year.
First of all I don’t think masturbation is a horrible thing. I do it sometimes. But it’s gotten to the point where he just rejects me when I try and come on to him. I confronted him and he told me he was addicted to jerking off and that his “dick is tired”. He says he wants to quit and feels stupid and childish. I agree. He says he has been rejecting me because he “doesn’t want me to think he can’t finish because I’m ugly or there is something wrong with me”. So it isn’t that he isn’t attracted to me. He’s just addicted to jerking off.
And keep in mind. Not having sex isn’t a deal breaker to me. I just want to help him stop because it makes me feel a little bit unwanted and undesirable even tho I know that isnt true. I also want him to be happy and healthy. He is also my first major boyfriend and the first boy I have done more than just kiss.
I also grew up in an extremely Christian household. I don’t hold those values anymore but the words of the church still roll around in my brain.

He has his own house and I still live with my parents. I think him having his own house is a big problem. He lives in a small town with no friends in it. He has to drive at least 30 minutes to see his friends. We see eachother at least twice a week. Unless we are busy with work and school. And it is a 40 minute drive to see eachother.
He works full time 8-5 as a mechanic. And he is always doing some kind of project. He rarely sits and does nothing all day.
I don’t know if he watches porn all the time because when he first told me he did I was really hurt and we had a fight (mostly just me expressing how belittling it felt and how it made me feel like I wasn’t enough). So he avoided telling me if he does watch it.

What is something I can say to do to help him?

What is something he can do himself to help?

I don’t want to marry a man who masturbates all the time. I love him and I want it to be him.

I volunteer a lot in my town and I have kinda gotten a reputation as the parent that takes the pictures. I love it. But, you get what you pay for.

Always, I had asked my daughter’s band director if I could take some snapshots of band camp and he nicely agreed. He knew I would post them on social media.

My daughter is a super shy kid and luckily has a dry sense of humor because what I did to embarrass her has me wanting to just admit my mistake, make fun of myself and move on. Here is what I did:

After I took a few snapshots the band director yelled they were gonna go through their routine 1 more time before being let out for lunch.

Without thinking I recorded it as they were so cool marching and getting into their little formation.

Of course I shared it immediately on social media for the parents who work to see their kids as I saw my own.

Apparently, I am being accused of espionage and they want to know if I am a foreign asset or… I don’t know. Ha ha.

Seriously, he growled at practice and apparently called my daughter’s name while sharing why it’s a bad idea to share a few seconds of something they have worked hours, days and possibly weeks on.

So my heart is in the right place and my brain is dumb. Should I just make a joke on my socials at my own expense? Whatever would I say? What meme of gif could I use?

Thank you,

The most awkward person in the whole world who hates doing dumb shit like this all the GD time. Like, what even is wrong with me? My daughter has 3 years of this to put up with. Is she going to fire me as her mom?

Edited: she was horrified and or mortified. Whichever of those words means “the most” embarrassed. She was able to make a joke at my expense about it so she is starting to recover already. Hey, if you don’t laugh what else can we do. Thank you guys!

Edit: sorry guys I don’t know what I did when I posted this as I must have done a really crappy job of this. I thought I was sharing this scenario through a lens of dry humor. I forget that you guys don’t know me. I promise I am respecting everyone’s autonomy including my daughters. Each student has signed releases from their parents for pics to shared on socials. The kids love having their pictures taken. I love taking them. I don’t love the time it takes to edit them but it’s a labor of love. Last week I worked as a camp counselor for my son’s bass fishing camp. I took 275 pics and had them edited for][ the parents by the end of that week. During the 4 day camp I posted pics/videos of the campers, chaperones, sponsors and the Bass Pros and it took me about 10 hours.

I honestly just want a funny way I can say oops but also ha ha. I just want to make fun of myself. That’s all.

Thank you guys so much. Hope y’all have a great week. Stay hydrated.

My son absolutely made me disappointed today. So this girl at his school gets his lunch off him. She also has his iPhone 14 and his $220.00 ear pods and he told me he forgot to get it off her. He started out just buying her box of chocolates and as the weeks have gone on she got him into vaping and now he wants me to buy his vapes to give to her.. I can’t help but feel like the girl is taking advantage of my son “materially”. I want to ask how you would approach the situation because I’m going to the school tomorrow to get the phone and ear pods back… I don’t want to go to sleep mad cos I will wake up mad. I’m generally a nice person but can turn psycho at anytime. I don’t want to embarrass my son I just want her to stop taking advantage of him. What’s the Best way to go about this. I’m also mad that my son now vapes as well.!

I (37m) and my wife (37f) have been married for 8 years, together 19. Met freshman year of college and by the end of the school year we were officially dating. Never took any breaks from each other, kinda always attached, did everything together, and even visited each other frequently when we lived apart for a year after college(different states). I moved back to be with her and pursue our serious long term relationship.. 

Background info - I had 3 relationships prior to this one, all of which ended in my gfs cheating on me in some way. These were all before I was 18, but bc of this, I’ve always had trust issues with anyone I’ve dated. I was always overly paranoid and constantly badgered my gf(current wife) about my insecurities and trust issues. I would always question her about when she would go out and admittedly, probably annoyed the shit out of her bc of how often I brought it up. Always every time the answer was “no, of course not, I love you!”

During the year we were apart, one night she went out for drinks with a (girl)friend who ended up having a hotel room downtown. I always felt weird about this and questioned her extensively on multiple different occasions over the years. at the time, my gf admitted to me that the two of them paired up with 2 other guys, socialized, and went to a few different bars with each other. After several occasions where I was questioning her, (years later) she finally admitted to me that at one of the bars my gf had to go pee so badly and couldn’t get her belt undone in time that she ended up peeing herself and went back to the hotel room bc she was embarrassed. That night I specifically remember her getting pretty drunk, so that may check out, but she also went silent that night. No normal “hey I’m home safe goodnight” call or text. Didn’t hear from her until the next day. 

From that moment on I always had a different gut feeling about it and tbh, my paranoia/questioning got even worse. Time after time I begged her to come clean if she had anything to tell me…nothing from her just promises I could trust her. 

So we end up getting married, have 2 kids , and I recently got a vasectomy. So a few weeks ago we hang out with my old high school friends(and all spouses) and the group convo leads to past hooks ups. The following days my wife and I are kinda laughing about what was discussed and I end up telling her about a hook up I had in high school with a girl at the same time she started dating my best friend(unknowingly to me). This sparked something in her to confess something to me.. 

She told me back in college when we were talking/hooking up and not quite official yet, that she made out with my best friend(who she was hooking up with before me). No big deal to me, really. It was before we were official so I honestly don’t think I have any ground to stand on there. I’m really not hung up on feeling betrayed or cheated on or anything. 

The thing I cannot wrap my head around is why she would never tell me this until now? I specifically remember asking before we got married “okay now is the time, is there anything you want to come clean with? “ not to mention the 50+ times I brought this topic up myself essentially to prompt her to say or admit something. 

She’s since told me she might not have ever told me about it but also thought about telling me. But bc I said a similar situation she felt it was the right time to admit it. 

I just feel like my trust is broken and I’m not sure how to move forward. I feel like I presented opportunities soooo many times throughout our relationship for her to admit it, but she never did.

Should I be worried she has more to hide? How do I move forward trusting her with anything I ask? What should I do? 

I don't know what to do anymore on June 25th at 6 am 91st and Thomas Phoenix AZ I was hit by a car while I was crossing the cross walk. I was outside that morning walking to the store to buy a few groceries id been struggling financially because I had just come off a leave of absence for my physical and mental health issues and I had gone without pay for about 3 months I had only worked one shift since returning and that day I did not have enough money for a grocery order. This was the first time I left the house in 6 years due to my severe anxiety but I did it and I was so proud of myself. Then someone hit me with his car and everything changed. Right now I am faced with a very difficult decision. I am supposed to wait another month and a half atleast to recover from my injuries and I'm not sure yet if I will need surgery on my left thumb and a spot drained on my knee which pushes my recovery time even further. I need a way to get some money fast. I have applied for medical assistance but no one has emailed me back I do not have phone service either I have a toddler that I stay home with and a partner who has been trying so hard to make enough for us but unfortunately he suffered an injury to his leg at the start of his work week and the week he was planning to work 20 hours of overtime so we would hopefully have enough for rent and he ended up not being able to work the entire rest of the week and part of the next week :( I am in touch with an attorney so the medical bills im racking up I'm not worried about but I desperately need help to get able to get a small amount of groceries. Our card right now is at -38 dollars if anyone who took the time to read this is able to spare a dollar or two our zelle account number is 5138046660 if you have any other way to help please dm me I can also show any proof needed that this really is what happened or if anyone could help with a small grocery order please dm me thank you all! I'm also open to any advice anyone has, I have tried to donate my plasma for money but due to my health issues I was sent away. I work at an Amazon as a flex associate so my leave options are all unpaid unfortunately. I am so completely devastated this has been a major physical and mental set back and I just feel like my whole world is ending right now. Thank you for reading stranger 💜 it's not letting me add any photos but anyone can dm me I can show you pictures of my injuries and the cross road where it happened hell even pictures of my cupboards if anyone has any advice on how to stretch the things I already have

I need some help with my situation and yes ik it’s my fault I’m here in the first place. I was with my ex for 2 years but we broke up over different long term values. A few months pass and I start dating again. I’m with a new guy for 3 months, very much so in love. Long story short, I get back with my ex. But I realize he wasn’t being genuine about changing so I ended things and went back to the new guy. I feel bad for what I did but idk if I can handle that guilt. I feel like I’m trying to find an excuse to breakup with him so I don’t have to feel this anymore. I love both of them but when I’m with them I don’t want to be with them. Like I only miss them when I don’t have them. Idk what to do with my situation anymore.

TL;DR: My brother was sending disgusting sexual messages on Reddit and most likely cheated on his girlfriend.

Hello,

I discovered this yesterday, so please bear with me.

I was at work, minding my business, and as I was helping a customer on the phone about a contract, I did a quick Google search to give them the best possible answer. I clicked on a Reddit post, and right as I did so, the customer said their problem had already been solved, so we ended the call. I then sat there for a little bit until I noticed I still had Reddit open, but then I also noticed there was an account logged into the computer (mind you, this is a work desktop), and I was like, what dumbass would leave their Reddit account on a work computer that is usually used by multiple people per day?

I then got curious and clicked on the profile to know who it was, noticed they had a couple of NSFW posts, and didn’t think much of it. I then opened the messages to actually know who the dumbass was that left their account logged in (I know, dumb idea). The first couple of texts were just normal stuff,a little weird, but nothing crazy. I scrolled down a little, and the deeper I went, the weirder and more disgusting it got. I scrolled all the way down, and that’s where all the disgusting stuff was, and then, there they were: pictures of my brother. That’s where I found out who the dumbass was.

I then went to the more recent messages, and there were all the possible cheating messages. He was saying stuff like “watch each other” to some people, which didn’t sound like solid proof, but I read more and saw him asking for sexual stuff from people in the city he went to last year (Chicago). I checked the dates I had, and they all matched up; this is when I became almost 100% sure that he’s cheating on his girlfriend of 4+ years that he has been living with for years now.

Now we are at today. What do I do? Do I let his girlfriend know and show her the texts and possibly ruin years of their relationship, or do I just keep this to myself and never tell anyone else about it? Please help me out here. I don't know how to feel about him anymore; all I can think about is how disgusting he is.

I(24M) was taken gracefully in my parents, and they finally thought I was getting better and decided to leave me alone for a work trip. I got into my head, and re installed all my gambling apps and started tapping into my savings. I lost $3000 gambling in the past 3 days. I was so stressed by this, I started smoking again. My parents don’t understand how lonely I am it fucking hurts that’s why I resort to this. I am genuinely a failure, a porn addict, a crazy money waster. My parents are letting me stay here rent free, but I have to pay for my own groceries. I was already so much in debt, and then I fell back further. I stopped attending my AA meetings, and going to the therapist. All I do now, is smoke and act fucking depressed. My expensive car reminds me of how much of a failure I am everyday, I bought that shit to impress women. I only started all of this because I couldn’t get into a relationship and I was so fucking lonely. It fucking hurt me to my core, I wanted someone to choose me. When i was used and abused, I started all of this. It’s not even about getting a girlfriend I just want to get rid of these addictions. It’s so fucking hard to quit man.

I 16f have been talking to this guy 17m for about 2 weeks now. We met on this church trip and have been texting ever since we got back, even calling a few times. I told my mom 45f about the situation and all the details about him that I could remember. She normally has this rule about no dating until after college which I’ve been trying to convince her to have some leniency on (I dated once in middle school which changed it to after high school). Despite my concerns she wasn’t opposed to it. She said, “As long as you know what you’re getting into then I don’t see an issue with it”. His parents are skeptical about him dating and don’t want him to.

The thing is he lives \~2 hours away so seeing him in person would be hard to do. My mom is fine with driving me, but I can’t drive there myself and we can’t go to each other’s houses (I get my license next week and he gets his next month). Her main thing was that he was homeschooled (which isn’t a bad thing) she just said that if we have different goals and plans in the future then it wouldn’t work out. He plans to go to the Union right after high school and I want to go to college and eventually law school so I can become a lawyer.

She said that she doesn’t want me to be desperate especially because a lot of people want to date at my age, and doesn’t want me to settle for someone and then later on if I meet someone who is more up to my standards that I would have to break up with him if we’ve been together for a while; which is unfair for him. I’m not saying that I think his aspirations are bad and I’m looking for the next best thing, but I want to know if he is someone that I’d be willing to spend the rest of my life with and be okay with his career and life choices. His parents both have their own businesses and so do mine for context.

I like him and want to continue to get to know him, but I don’t want to get too far deep into our situationship and if I back out I hurt his feelings. That whole conversation got me thinking about a lot of logistics so now I’m confused. So what should I do? Should i keep on talking to him and eventually start dating after getting to know him better? Or should I play it safe and keep being friends that know we like each other?

p.s. we’re seeing each other at this district church camp in 2 weeks.

tl;dr: I 16f been talking to this guy 17m for 2 weeks, but after a conversation with my mom 45f about possibly seeing a future with him I’m conflicted about where to move on in our relationship.

Both of these accounts are the same person, I was just checking if they’re still alive. Not sure if this is a glitch or it means this person opened it but because we’re not friends the x is still there.

I moved away from my old small town recently and I’m still in contact with a few friends who I worked with together. Friend B called me on the phone to tell me that she heard from a mutual acquaintance (C) that friend A is unexpectedly pregnant. The thing I have a major problem with is if I should tell friend A that our mutual acquaintance C is spilling all of her personal information OR lying about her to a bunch of our mutual friends. Friend B asked me to not tell friend A because acquaintance C still works with B and she’ll know who told ME if I confront friend A about it. Essentially if I say anything to friend A, everyone will know exactly who passed on what information to who when they weren’t supposed to.

I am honestly inclined to believe the rumor isn’t even real knowing friend A the best out of all of them, but she also could be in which case it’s really creepy and unfair that I would hear about it before she wanted to tell me. I didn’t even have any preparation for the bomb drop, was just having a completely normal conversation about life when friend B brought it up randomly over the phone. Which is why I don’t know how to approach this. At worst she finds out our mutual acquaintance spills all her tea to everyone even after both A and I haven’t worked there for 1+ yrs, at best she finds out that acquaintance has been lying about her behind her back. My other friend (completely removed from this circle) tells me it might not be my business because if friend A is pregnant the last thing she needs is me stirring up drama when friend B asked me not to. I feel like if I were friend A I would want to know if people were airing my business/spreading rumors about me and I feel that I would be a bad person if I choose to just ignore it because I’d be passively enabling person C’s behavior which is unacceptable regardless of the truth of the matter.

Will I get in trouble, or am I overthinking?
I didn’t want to give my real phone number when completing my purchase because I didn’t want to receive any texts from Target.

Could I get into any legal trouble for doing that?

[Edit] the number in question +1(605)-477-3018

Hello besties,

I’m a 20F who was working at a call center. The job was honestly pretty easy and chill. I’m a very creative person, so I was always coming up with ideas to make work easier for everyone. A few of my projects were actually approved and put into action, and they even replaced some old procedures with new ones because of those ideas. I was friends with most people in the office, and I was even looking forward to becoming a manager. My team lead and some of the trainers had talked about giving me that opportunity.

However, there was an old lady at work who got hired and, for some reason, she didn’t like me. Mind you, I had never even spoken to her. We sat in completely different areas of the office you couldn’t even see her from where I sat.

I started hearing rumors from my friends that she was talking badly about me and trying to turn people against me. On top of that, she was reporting me to management, saying I was rude and that I called someone stupid. None of that ever happened. I’m someone who takes accountability for my actions. If I say or do something wrong, I’ll own it because I’m an adult and I know actions have consequences. But these were things I never did, and it really bothered me because I was hoping to move into a management position. I didn’t want people believing things that weren’t true.

So I spoke to my team lead about it, and he said he would take care of it. That was last week. I even saw the team leads talking to her, so I thought everything had been handled.

It hadn’t.

Today I was called into the management office, and the worst happened, I got fired.

I have a video of the meeting. You’ll hear me getting fired. This is the first time I’ve ever been fired in my life, and I was in complete shock. All I could say was “okay” because I knew if I tried to explain myself, I would start crying. I was trying so hard to hold myself together. They didn’t even let me grab my things before walking me out.

The crazy part is that this wasn’t the first accusation. Last month, this same lady and one of her friends claimed they heard me talking badly about someone. The truth is, I was joking around with my friends about other friends. It was just normal conversation, nothing mean. She somehow changed the story and said I was talking about someone in the company. The thing is, I never even mentioned anyone’s name, so I don’t know how she came to that conclusion. I still got written up, and as far as I know, there was never any real investigation and again no choice but signed it.

I live in Utah, where jobs don’t pay very well, so this has been devastating. I was finally getting close to moving out of my parents’ house, and now I have to stay longer because I suddenly have no job.

I honestly still can’t believe this happened

FIRST EDIT:I love all of your comments, questions, kindness, and advice. ❤️ I noticed a lot of people were asking for more information, so here’s a shorter explanation now that I’ve had time to calm down.

An older woman in her 60s was hired last month. I never really spoke to her because we didn’t have much in common. I was actually away from work for about four weeks, and when I came back, several coworkers warned me that she liked to gossip.

Not long after, she reported me, claiming she heard me badmouthing another agent. That never happened. I was talking with three friends about mutual friends, and we weren’t saying anything negative. She sits far away from us, so I don’t even know how she could have heard what she claimed.
Then six different coworkers told me she had been talking badly about me. I reported the situation to a team lead, making it clear I wasn’t trying to get anyone fired. After that, she reported me to HR for allegedly bullying her and other people. I have six witnesses who can back up my side of the story.
Also, when an adjuster at work harassed me by calling me a baby and saying he would kiss me, I reported it because it made me uncomfortable. Other women said they were scared of him too. HR simply told him not to do it again, and he still works there.

SECOND EDIT: Hey guys, I’m back with a few clarifications now that I’ve had time to think everything through.

As much as I appreciate everyone suggesting unemployment, I won’t be applying. In my opinion, those benefits should go to people who are really struggling financially. I’m fortunate enough to live with my parents and have a good amount in savings.

The “joking” everyone keeps asking about was simply me talking with my friends about my friend’s baby, who has a ton of hair. I joked that I wanted a baby with that much hair too. That’s it.

Unfortunately, in Utah this isn’t illegal, so there’s not much I can do besides accept it and move forward.

I included the reason for my first write-up. I had worked there for a long time without ever receiving one. Then, within the first month of this older woman being hired, I got my very first write-up because of her report.

For context my boyfriend was showing his sisters outfit on facetime, she had on a mid length black skirt and he was being super weird about it. He said “she wants to get r*ped and die”. I was like what..?? I then said “It can happen to anyone even babies proving it doesn’t matter what you wear” and that’s where he drew the line saying “i’m glad i turned you down that’s weird” WHAT? How is it weird when i say a real life situation as you literally are saying it’s gonna happen to your sister. He does it to me to where i’ll wear shorts or a skirt and says “you want to get r*ped so bad” and i’ll lose it on him because it’s so weird and odd why would you even say that. I’ve also told him it can literally happen to your mom, grandma, whoever and he gets mad at me for that but i don’t understand why when he thinks it’s okay for him to do it. What do i do?

i have used AI to make this post not resemble my own writing style for anonymity purposes
edit: we are both 24

I haven’t stopped crying for days.
I feel embarrassed even writing this because I know what people are probably going to say. I know everyone is going to tell me to leave, and maybe they’re right, but I don’t know how to walk away from someone who’s been my entire world for five years.
We’re both Muslim. I was never allowed to date unless it was genuinely for marriage. This wasn’t some casual relationship where we were just seeing where things went. We both spoke about marriage from the beginning. I let myself trust him because I genuinely believed that a man who took his religion so seriously would never invest five years of my life if he wasn’t certain about me.
I built my future around him.
Every plan I made included him. Every sacrifice felt worth it because I thought we were building a life together.
For years, whenever religion came up, he always reassured me. He’d tell me he just wanted to see me improve over time. He wanted to know that I wanted to become a better Muslim. That felt fair to me because I do want that. I always have.
But now, suddenly, it’s different.
He told me he won’t marry me unless I stop wearing short sleeves immediately and start wearing hijab within the next month or two.
It doesn’t feel like a conversation. It feels like an ultimatum.
It’s like our entire relationship is hanging over my head, and every time I question it, I can almost hear the clock ticking.
The worst part is… I actually want to wear hijab one day.
I really do.
I just always imagined it would be one of the most personal, sincere decisions I’d ever make. Something I’d do because my heart was ready. Because I wanted to stand before Allah knowing it came from love and conviction.
Instead, it feels like if I don’t do it now, I’ll lose the person I love most.
I don’t know if anyone else has experienced this, but it makes something that should feel beautiful instead feel like panic.
The reason it’s so hard for me is because my childhood wasn’t normal.
When I was around ten years old, my family lived in Saudi Arabia. I still remember religious police shouting at me because my hair was showing. I remember being absolutely terrified. I remember feeling humiliated over something I barely understood. I remember crying.
Those memories never really left me.
I’ve tried explaining to him that I think those experiences made this part of my faith emotionally complicated. I don’t think he’s a bad person for wanting a wife who wears hijab. I understand where he’s coming from.
But he just tells me that’s separate from Islam and shouldn’t matter.
Then he says something that breaks my heart every single time.
He tells me that when he sees my arms uncovered in public, it makes him uneasy. Sick to his stomach.
I’ve asked him if he’s ever considered speaking to someone about why he has such a strong emotional reaction, because I don’t think that’s a normal level of distress.
He says no.
He says it’s far easier and more reasonable for me to change my entire wardrobe, cover my arms forever, and wear hijab than for him to work through those feelings.
I don’t know why, but hearing that made me feel so small.
Like my whole life is somehow less important than his discomfort.
Whenever I tell him I want these choices to come from my own relationship with Allah, he tells me that because Islam requires modesty, I shouldn’t object to making the changes. That if I truly cared about Islam, this wouldn’t be difficult.
And then I start wondering if maybe I’m the bad person.
Maybe I’m selfish.
Maybe I’m making excuses.
Maybe I should just do it.
Then another part of me asks a question I can’t seem to answer.
If I wear hijab because I’m terrified he’ll leave me… did I really choose it?
Or did I choose him?
I love him so much that the thought of losing him genuinely makes my chest hurt.
Five years is such a long time.
He’s the person I call when something good happens. The first person I want to tell when something funny happens. He’s the person I imagined introducing to our children one day as their father.
I don’t know how you’re supposed to wake up one morning and just accept that the future you’ve spent years dreaming about might never exist.
I keep thinking about all the little moments. The conversations about our wedding. The places we wanted to travel. The names we’d laugh about giving our future kids. I keep wondering if all those memories mean something different to him than they did to me.
What hurts almost more than the ultimatum itself is knowing that if he truly loved me the way I loved him, wouldn’t he want my faith to come from my heart instead of fear?
I know people will probably tell me this is controlling. I know they’ll say the red flags are obvious.
The problem is that love doesn’t disappear just because someone points out the red flags.
I still love him.
I still want him.
I still can’t picture my life without him.
And I hate myself for that because I feel like everyone else would be strong enough to leave, but all I want is for the man I’ve loved for five years to wake up and tell me he’s choosing me over an ultimatum.
I don’t know what to do anymore.

edit: adding some more perspective, i am in no way a perfect girlfriend, im very verbally aggressive and i have crossed the line many many times speaking to him, in comparison he is very mild mannered, very nice, ive been particularly irritable these past few months because i was afraid of exactly this that he would leave me right when my parents started saying okay let's get your engaged, and i really have been an awful person, im not the perfect victim in this situation either, and from that realistic point of view im trying to weigh in his pros and his cons, but i feel like holding the entire relationship hostage after 5 years of love and camaraderie it seems so so so much more irredeemable?

My fiancé (31M) let's call him Tom for this post and I (27F) have been together since 2015 and are hosting our first Thanksgiving together. Neither of us has a traditional family, I grew up in foster care and his family abandoned him after he turned 17, so I thought it would be nice to invite our siblings. I’ve reconnected with five of my siblings, and two or three may accept my invitation. My fiancé recently (between 2020 and 2021) found out that he has a sister (28F) his parents gave up at birth. Let’s call her **Marley**. She lives in Idaho, while we live in Texas. They talk on the phone often but have never met in person.

Unfortunately, Marley and I do not get along.

When my fiancé first suggested that we meet over the phone, I didn’t want to, but I agreed because she is in a way the only family he has outside of me. The conversation went badly. Marley made it very clear I had to go through her to get to Tom (even though if known him way longer than her) and acted very territorial. She also said I must be intimidated by her because I didn’t want to talk to his “only relative.” How she came to that conclusion I don't know. After a conversation between Tom and me, he told Marley somethings i said *accidentally*. She later contacted me about said things and since then, we have disliked each other. We don’t speak during their phone calls, and every now and then I’ll hear her make a slick comment that my fiancé usually doesn’t address but I know it's backhanded and directed at how she thinks he 'deserves better'.

Now, here’s where I may be crazy.

Marley recently told Tom she was coming to Texas to see him but he shut it down very quickly telling her there's nothing for her in texas he'd come to idaho instead. Knowing that our finances are tied up on a wedding, house, and honeymoon and just regular daily bills that isn't likely anytime soon. I thought what if we invite Marley to Texas for Thanksgiving so they can finally meet in person! Tom has made it very clear that he does not want me communicating with Marley or even meeting her anymore. So I’ve been considering reaching out to Marley myself, having an adult conversation, and seeing if we could put our issues aside for my fiancé’s sake.

I would potentially help with her flight, hotel, and transportation and have her stay somewhere close to us. Then, right before Thanksgiving dinner, I could tell my fiancé I have an early Christmas present for him and boon Marley would show up!

I know this would go against my fiancé’s wishes, which is why I’m questioning whether it’s a terrible idea. I feel like the issues between Marley and me should not be more important than my fiancé’s future happiness. I love seeing him happy, and I know seeing his sister in the flesh would make him incredibly happy.

But so many questions pile up in my head about this like...

Should I secretly reach out to Marley and hope everything goes well?

Would I be disrespecting my fiancé by reaching out to her after he specifically told me not to?

Am I completely in over my head?

Should I reach out to her just to have a conversation, without necessarily telling her about the surprise and maybe then he'll be ok with Thanksgiving so it doesn't have to be a suprise?

Am I childish for wanting her there even though we currently hate each other?

Thoughts??

I'm a male in my 20s, live by myself and have 5 years work experience in IT. My current job is exactly what I enjoy, team is great, culture is really relaxed. Plus, I got insanely lucky and can work remotely in my apartment. Now I’ve been offered a role paying around 150k, but it’d mean minimum 3 days in person, 30-minute drive each way, not accounting for peak hour traffic tbh, and I’m not sure about the culture. I honestly don’t know what to do. 

I (30M) have lived in a shitty, cramped apartment for years and want to finally move out. I am single with no kids, have no significant debt anymore. I have a 705 credit score and work as a software engineer (8 years experience) and earn around 130k annually after taxes.

I’m stuck between two houses and can’t figure out if I’m letting emotions cloud my judgment.

House #1 is $225k and has 2 beds, 2.5 baths, and 1,422 sq ft on a 3,136 sq ft lot. HOA is $63/month. I toured it recently and absolutely loved the interior. The layout, finishes, and overall feel of the place is just nice.

House #2 is $275k and has 3 beds, 2.5 baths, and 1,536 sq ft on a 3,920 sq ft lot. HOA is only $40/month. It’s also in a noticeably nicer area and would cut about 25 minutes off my commute to work, which is obviously a huge plus.

On paper, the second house seems like the smarter long-term choice: extra bedroom, bigger lot, lower HOA fees, shorter commute, and a better neighborhood. But the first house is $50k cheaper, and for whatever reason I genuinely enjoyed being inside it a lot more. What do I do?

I (F 31) was recently let go from my full time job that I had worked for the last 5 years. It was a WFH job. I bartended on the side, just to get around people.

My friend, let’s call her Ashley (33) moved to my town last August. The whole process has involved her relying heavily on me/my social group/my connections for every aspect of life.

For the last year Ashely has worked a part time job from home, and has been talking about getting a restaurant job. I’ve sent her close to 100 job listings- yet she doesn’t do anything with the info, just continues to complain about being broke. She has been for 1 interview, got the job, then just decided not to take it.

After that job fell through she has been talking about wanting to work at a restaurant that was long anticipated to open for the last 6 months. Lots of “oh I’ll just get a job at x when they open!” “X seems like a great fit for me, I’ll just wait for them!” - you get the idea.

The owners of X are regulars at my bartending job, and when they found out I had been laid off, recommended I go in and apply. Well, I got the job on the spot.

Issue is, idk how to tell Ashley. She is someone that takes things VERY personally. For reasons not to be disclosed, this is not a “let her be mad, or cut her out” sitch- our lives are very connected and that will not change.

I know I’m not in the wrong, I have actively been trying to help, and she could have gone in herself to apply (as they have been open for 2 weeks now) but I know this isn’t going to go over well. Thoughts?

Hello I need help!! My pre screening for an employer test is tomorrow at Concentra.
The last time I sm*ked was five days ago and I would say for a little bit I was a daily user of my vape.
I tried practicing the certo method twice and was positive. I followed what other Reddit users were suggesting in comments however it did not work for me.
I drank certo and Gatorade 32 ounce three hours before my “practice” test. Then filled the bottle back up and drank water. two hours before I took a vitamin B12 and I’ve been taking creatine. Urine came back neon yellow on my third and fourth try and the tests were positive. What did I do wrong!?
(Side note I did have an empty stomach so not sure if that was the reason why)

Now I'm not really one of those spiritual people but this has really disturbed and I don't know what to do with it, she even told me it's got some of hair in it. It looks really similar to me and it's even got clothes.

Somehow I managed to take the doll and she didn't notice until she asked me if I had seen it and I said "I saw you with it near the tree on sports day" I don't think she's caught on.

The creepiest thing is that its got my real name on it too, my full name like she has a collection of them or something. What do I do with it

I, 18F, have gotten myself into a super tricky situation. I've had romantic feelings for my close friend, 18F, since freshman year of high school, and I confessed my senior year. She told me she had feelings for me too, but that she also liked a boy. I let the situation simmer until she told me she no longer had feelings for this boy and that it was just me. I got hopeful, but nothing happened. We just stayed close as ever, with more tension in the air. I've tried making the first move a couple times: asking her to prom, starting conversations, etc. but no luck.

After several months of this, I began to wonder if it was going to actually go anywhere. I didn't talk to anyone else in hopes that something would change.

We were driving back to her house for a sleepover one night when we started talking about our classmate and close friend that passed away recently. She opened up about how they almost kissed, but she was scared to make a move because she didn't want to ruin the friendship.

I kind of realized that she might feel the same way about me so I decided to take a step back to not add extra pressure. She's going through a lot and I don't want to add more craziness into her life.

This is where the boy (18M) comes in. He DM'd me on Instagram and we started chatting naturally. I didn't think anything was going to come of it, so I didn't tell anybody (including my close friend).

He asked me out on a date, and honestly, for the plot right? I said yes and had so much fun. We went out a couple more times until he invited me over to his house......yeah....I know. I said hi to his family and again, had fun, but this time, things got a bit intimate, and we kissed. We hung out at his house two days in a row, and now we're getting pretty deep into the talking stage.

And, of course, my close friend decides to tell me she rejected a guy because she already had a crush on me. SO now I am probably a complete asshole who's playing with people's feelings. What did I get myself into and what do I do now?