20f Today my father call me a slut cuz I wanted a bob cut, but somehow I cut my hair...my mom also she verbally, physically beaten me....

Today night i asked permission to both of my parents to cut my hair, n they said yes in a not so interested way....Idk what will happen tomorrow when they find out i actually cut my hair and it's a little short...im tooo much afraid.......

im honestly not sure how to explain this but sometimes ill do smth with my hand for example gripping something too tightly while doing a repetitive motion (brushing my hair) and my hand will start to cramp and i csnt move them but their like moving in their own directions?? i have to physically hold my hand with the other one to stop it, its extremely uncomfortable but only happens when I grip something too hard.

today was an odd experience, I was holding my handbag with my hand but on my fingers sort of and I got into my mums car and it started to happen but I don’t understand why? this doesn’t happen a lot as most of the time if I’m doing something that can trigger it I can feel a cramp coming and I’ll stop or loosen my grip.

any advice is appreciate, thank you in advance!

At home for ages I have been always on edge and avoiding my parents - constant opinions, defensiveness, always negative energy behind what they want to say.

About a month ago, I put my name down for a HA flat and I got first in the line and went for a viewing today but my parents are refusing to let me go because they are worried I will go off the deep end again! They’re forgetting their behaviour is part of the reason I overdosed - constant flippancy since I was 3, their ignorance/inappropriate dealing with my ASD when I was diagnosed (I started mainstream school and realised more adults were involved and I was getting pulled out for things and I asked my parents who were being dismissive on my questions) and the pattern went on till today - they are always ignoring and downplaying my issues, saying I need to consider their own first 😩🙄

What should I genuinely do? Social housing is like hens teeth these days and the location is perfect - in town near public transport so I can get to uni quickly and I have an appt with the crisis doctor tomorrow morning who I will be asking about the move and seeing what they think of it - but I think I need somewhere new and space so my parents get a much needed reality check