So for a little background, my parents have been divorced with split 50/50 custody for like 15 years. Shortly after I turned 18, I decided to stay with my mom full time to make things easier. My mom and step dad are already set to help me move in, but my dad wants to also be there, thinking logically, this isn’t a job for 4 people, and I feel it would just be crowded. My stepmom has a history of taking small things extremely personal on my dad’s behalf, and I fear not letting him tag along would start an argument. I’m currently thinking I could have him come for lunch or dinner after I’m all move in, but I’m unsure.

20f Today my father call me a slut cuz I wanted a bob cut, but somehow I cut my hair...my mom also she verbally, physically beaten me....

Today night i asked permission to both of my parents to cut my hair, n they said yes in a not so interested way....Idk what will happen tomorrow when they find out i actually cut my hair and it's a little short...im tooo much afraid.......

My best friend has had serious health problems for the last year (possibly POTS and/or something else). In the past she’s disappeared for weeks because she genuinely had no energy to reply to messages and she told me that was why.

She also told me she’d given her fiancé access to her accounts in case anything serious ever happened to her.

I haven’t actually spoken to her since the start of May. Other mutual friends haven’t heard from her either. This is by far the longest she’s ever disappeared.

I’ve messaged her fiancé several times. Most of the time he’s ignored me. He once replied a month ago he finally replied with just “She’s okay”. He’s online playing games most the day everyday which also what’s confusing me because he was the only one working full-time. My best friend finished her master’s this year and I know she wasn’t working before she disappeared.

If that’s true, then of course I’m relieved she’s safe. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hurt. This is my best friend, and she knows I’ve had an incredibly difficult year with my own mental health and a lot of major personal issues. Since she disappeared, even more has happened that she doesn’t know about because I wasn’t going to burden someone who was unwell. So being left in complete silence for months, with almost every message ignored, has been really hard. It hurts that the only information I’ve been able to get after months of worrying is a two-word reply.

On the other hand, if “she’s okay” isn’t the full story and she’s actually seriously ill, then I’m honestly pissed that her fiancé won’t even say that much. I’m not asking for private medical details or constant updates. I just wanted enough information to stop fearing the worst. Knowing she was safe was all I was really asking for, and it took months to get even that.

I do know his dad died at the start of the year, so I completely understand he could be grieving and struggling himself. I also know gaming can be a coping mechanism, so I’m trying not to assume he’s doing fine just because I often see him online.

What’s upsetting me most isn’t even the lack of updates anymore. It’s feeling like I’ve been completely ignored while desperately trying to check on someone I love, despite her knowing the state of my own mental health and how much uncertainty affects me.

I (17F) was at the beach today and a random guy my age that worked there kept bothering me for a while. He asked me if i smoke i told him no and then asked if i would like to go on his boat and he would charge me but i told him i didnt want to

The thing is that it seems i appeared welcoming and friendly which made him more comfortable to start random convos with me. I didn’t know what to do or how to get out of the situation but then my mom found me and took me away to eat lunch.

She asked me who i was with and i explained it was an employee here trying to bother me so i pay him for a ride on his boat and she told me “so u just go around talking to strangers?”

I felt like a sl*t or smth because this has happened multiple times too, my friend’s cousin even used to touch me and caress me without my permission but I didn’t know how to stop him (this was years ago tho) but till this day my weakness makes me feel so stupid.

When it comes to men or anyone i do know who bothers me i almost always know how to respond and im not afraid to be mean but when its strangers or ppl idk that well its like my mind goes completely blank

I ask for help because soon i will be off to college abroad and i want to be strong and capable and prepare myself for when in in situations like this.

Hi! Asking for advice on what therapy would probably be best for me as it seems no one knows what to do with me.

For context, ive been in/out of therapy since i was 8, now in my early 20s. My most recent therapist kind of "graduated" me. We worked for almost 2 years together and she no longer had anything to help me with. I am extremely self aware, which is more of an intellectualization issue but I am also self aware of reactions & if they are fair or unfair, and if they are unfair why I was led to feel that way, how to fix it, and how to cope healthily. I have very healthy active coping mechanisms, and very informed on how my reactions and behaviors are influenced by my emotions and past trauma, and do not act impulsively upon them. I have been diagnosed and undiagnosed with everything under the sun ranging from BPD/bipolar/PTSD/dissociative disorders/anxiety/insomia etc. and most recently a mention of DID. I have done DBT and stopped meeting the criteria for BPD years ago, and CBT does absolutely nothing for me. I have tried every medication and medication type under the sun, and am on a last resort medication Spravato which has mostly eliminated suicidal tendencies and *most* of my depression.

However I feel a void inside of me that I have always felt and no amount of healthy or unhealthy things seem to fill it, trust me I have tried a mix of both.

I have extensive trauma ranging from extremely early childhood. I seem to have a complete disconnect from my mind and my body and it seems like my mind is in a relatively healthy state but my body just cannot get the memo and it feels stuck. It will not communicate with my mind.

I've tried multiple trauma informed therapists and either I am a lost cause or they are lying about how informed they really are with trauma so im looking for advice on where to go. Thanks!

Lol. IG Im my last post I made, I didnt articulate my situation well enough.

Well, bascially, I have issues at home with a strict father, its so much, but basically, I told him, after we had alr agreed that I wouldnt go to my grandmothers, that im gnna go anyways to practice driving and shi, and he went off on me, saying im doing this to spite him, i resent him and shit, and how this is the last straw and that if i go I don't come back, so im like, okay. For context, my homelife growing up was restrictive, I didnt get to have sleepovers, hang out with friends, or have access to the internet with a phone until 9th grade. It wasn't until this summer at 19 I could freely go hang out with friends. However there was still the caveat of an 8pm curfew. He believes I would drift and such.

Tbh I guess from the outside it doesnt sound that bad, I mean he is Muslim and African, and my mothers side is white, and I have been a bit of a problem child, Ive lied and caused some issues in the past, I was with one boy ar 18 he caught me with? And at 14 didnt do my online schooling whilst he was overseas and he had to do community service from the court. And last year, I lied about him taking me to school an extra day whilst he had a back injury where the driving time was two hours a day. I was 18 then, and I understand that was wrong of me, and I didnt communicate well enough, and Im sorry for that. But Ive never gotten drunk, gone to parties, or anything like that, or done any of the other classic teen things, its always been me as a child getting trouble in school and getting trouble at home for it. To the point I think I may have an undiagnosed ADHD or smth, but I won't touch on that too much. So I don't understand why he acts so paranoid, hes always been over protective, telling me dont trust anyone, be careful who you're friends with or they'll drag you dont, and was always overly analytical of my friends, and even at 17 would bar me from seeing them, yelling at me once when I tried to argue I just wanted to go down to a Cafe to hang out.

But he still chose my school for me when I got out of highschool, when he knew I wished to attend out of state for some independence, and yelled at me in tbe car when I tried to talk to him. Hes hard to talk to tbh, he always believes hes in the right. The current school I go to is nice, is private and has a nice art program, and I currently have a 3.88 GPA after my first year. However they do not have an anthropology program, and Ive found out recently, thats what I want to study, and perhaps thats a blessing. I earned good scholarships there because of my highschool GPA Ive always been a good student, with my only weakness being math. I want to study art and culture, since thats all I've been obsessed with as a child till now. And now he tells me he didnt make me go to thst school, he only advised me, when he said he wanted me to do two years at home earlier. But *now* he plans to retire next year anyways and Ill be at the dorm at this school paying for it and my car by working, and I can finish my four years over there, when that is not what I wanted. I always planned to transfer to a better state school and such, and I know ones like Mississippi or LSU have better programs for me, and I can easily get in with some good merit scholarships, the rest is just funds.

Im always told, he sacrificed so much for me to get me away from my "pothead" grandmother, how he ruined his life for me by going into the military for me when I was born. And yes, Im sorry you had to do that, but I never asked, and I dont need to be told that every time I try to do or say something that doesnt align with what you say.

Such as saying, I got a job at a Chinese resteraunt and being told a Chinese resteraunt isn't a job, that it won't help my career. And I ought to work at the Univeristy, when thats always been how he talks, how I shouldn't get normal entry level jobs.

To never being willing to compromise, on something as simple as me defying him for a trip, and choosing to leave, he thinks I hate him, or resent him, because I dont talk to him, perhaps because hes impossible to talk to, when he judges me every time I share something he disagrees with, to the point I told him I had depression when my mental health was bad earlier this year and he tells me idk why you'd have that, no one abuses you in this house, no one does anything to you, fix yourself, its in your head.

Plus it seems im never good enough, no matter how good in school I am etc, I've always been a problem child, and I was genuinely happy at my grandmother's when I saw her for the first time at 17 after 8 years

I once asked him if hes disappointed in me, and he said, no, but i think another child in your position could have done better. Especially when he claims my sisters can go to prom or study Internationally at 17, when I never got thst, because they have direction, I dont (mind you they're very young so)

And on the subject of my liscnece anyways, he says that if I stay home he will put me in driving school and pay for it by the end of the month, but it more feels like a way to comvince me to stay home, he never fixed my bike when I asked a bunch of times too, and when I was in a very bad episode with my relationship with my mom sleeping and staying in my room all summer he once yelled at me when I was earing and said he doesnt want to put any energy into me,, because he doesnt see me, and im not useful or maybe im just not around he said unless I get up and walk and excerisse I could do whatever just get up and walk, but he said he only cared abt getting me to school and back and he didnt want to put any energy into me because I haven't shown him I wasn't Ready and shi, but this was last month too lol or maybe in May, namely on getting my liscnece and my bike fixed. Since im always walking places. Another reason I dont go out much. Hes like that alot, he says he will do something then either takes forever to do it, does it late, or not at all, and Im tired of that, why did it take you the entire summer to get it done when I needed it, esp when he was home so much. Yes he still has his injury, but he has time to do all of this for my siblings? Why now hes telling me about driver lessons by the end of the month?

i had a plan to get on my feet at my grandmothers anyways, then apply for fullride at other schools since I have like a 3.88 college gpa, but shes in rural lousiana, so im not sure, but I can still work down there and such. It has its own set of drama, but she loves me and ik will help me as well, with getting a license and getting a car.

My stepmom told me, there wouldnt be much a difference if I stay or go, because I never wanted to stay at this school anyways and my father has no mkre money saved up for me, or never did, when he said before he did have money saved, especially from my mothers check. So, idk.

Then later on he called me into his room and told me im not thinking jt through, thinking with my emotions and how im making a huge mistake and by the time i get back on track or go back to school ill be 30, and i should just stay for one more year at home, and next year hes retiring and this will be a smooth transition and not to throw this all away, but i dont want to, why should he decide everything if he wont even listen to me?

I guess hes trying to stop me from what he believes is a mistake, he told me about mentors, someone to look up to spiritually if I cant talk to them and someone to talk to in the art department as a mentor, and I learn from them, not experience, aka I learn from their mistakes, and he said ill self sabatoge, if I do ill learn from it later, because everything is going smoothly and boring so I hst wnna self sabotage, and then Ill learn from it and say I wnna rebuild everything from square one or square -1

But im still mostly sure about going, with some obvious fears, Ive never really worked a real adult job, and my life has mostly been comfortable, but Im not too afraid I cant do a little hardwork.

Our neighbors are great, except for their chickens, which keep getting out of their yard. The problem is, we have dogs who have a very high prey drive. Tonight, one of our dogs jumped our fence and chased the chicken, and based on sounds, the chicken didn't survive. This is the third day in a row a chicken has been loose this week.

Two weeks ago, one got loose, and we were able to help get it back in their yard. Shortly after, I found a chicken carcass in the space between our fences. We've been here 1 year, and we've put tarps over our fence to block sight lines, we supervise our dogs, and we put one on a tether because she DID jump the fence once before. Honestly, when our dogs get hyped up over the chickens, they can carry that aggression into the house and onto each other so they're crated atm.

From what I gather, the chickens are not really pets. They are just there to keep the grandpa happy because he feels they're necessary to eat food scraps. I identified the gap in their fence, but they didn't reach back out to me. I am not sure if it's a culture issue or a general lack of awareness.

At any rate, if anyone has any ideas about how to encourage my neighbors to quickly secure their chickens or better ideas about my own fence, please let me know. Thanks!

Ps, we have 8 dogs. One cleared the fence last fall, she's supervised on a tether. One did clear the fence tonight, and that was a tarp covered area. Another almost got over, another tarp covered area.

me, (61🔄)female is a miner, i’ve had POTS symptoms for 6+ years and have yet to get it checked. recently, i’ve been having bad flares and doing all kinds of research and realized that i have so many of the symptoms. my mom, who used to work as a respiratory therapist has continuously said that this is normal and how i’ve had all the tests done (which i haven’t) and said it’s just Orthostatic Hypotension, but i feel as if it’s more severe than that. i’ve been wanting to advocate for myself and tell her in a polite way that i know what i’m feeling and want to go to the cardiologist (because she’s not taking me after doctors have said to) so please help me think of what to say to her to get my point across without being rude, confrontation is not easy for me so i’m very nervous

A few months ago (like at least three but maybe more, I'm honestly not super sure) I completely lost my appetite, but not hunger. Nothing seems truly appealing anymore, and I don't get cravings for stuff like I used to. I don't even want to eat sweets anymore, and my whole life I used to have a huge sweet tooth and could pretty much always go for a sweet treat. However, I am able to eat still and do get hungry, just I guess a little less so. Well, maybe I do eat less because food is so unappealing and finishing a meal takes longer, but I think I'm still getting enough food. I might have lost a little weight but not sure how much because I don't own a scale.

In the past I had periods like that during low mood moments, but right now I am not feeling emotionally nearly on that level so it doesn't seem related. They used to pass but this has been dragging on for longer than ever.

For context, I'm 23F, I have hashimotos but not hypothyroidism as of yet (although last time I checked my levels was 9 months ago), I don't take any meds and nothing else out of the ordinary is happening. I have history of a lot of autoimmune disorders in my family, mostly of various GI organs.

I kinda really don't want to see a doctor about it because I think I will be losing my insurance soon and I will be moving and I hate doctors a lot, have a lot of bad history with them, and I think I will be dismissed anyways. Is there something I could try myself first?

Alright.. I’m 22m and currently live with who I thought was a good buddy I met while on the fire department. He is 50 and a captain on the FD. I needed a place to live, and he could use the extra money. I moved in on an agreed 500$ a month, and I’d pay for my own groceries, etc and we’d split household essentials. However, he now makes me take care of his two very active dogs (German shepherd and German shorthair pointed) he gets pissed if I don’t feed and water them and let them outside. He won’t touch the dishes, he won’t change garbages, he won’t even clean up after him selves or his kids when they’re over. I’m absolutely sick of it and I’m losing so much money. I’m having to pay for everything. He complains and says should raise rent yet I already pay for all the house hold necessities, plumbing is messed up in the house and he won’t get it fixed but yet he buys himself gel blaster guns at 50 yrs old. My girlfriend’s grandma just asked us to move in with her. She recently got tons of money from her dad passing away, and is worried about some distant family showing up to the house and trying to get some of the money, especially with her being older. She wants us to move in and doesn’t want us to pay anything. She wants us to be able to save for our futures. Me and her grandma get along GREAT and absolutely loves me which is a great feeling. The whole basement is finished and has a bedroom, living room, bathroom and kitchen. She also wants to give us this house when she passes away. I’m 22 almost 23 and my girlfriend is 21 and about to graduate college this coming spring to be a special education teacher, and currently works full time as a behavior technician, I’m currently working construction. She lives at school currently. We’ve been together almost 3 years and are pretty serious and I’m planning to propose in the next year. Should we take this offer?

im honestly not sure how to explain this but sometimes ill do smth with my hand for example gripping something too tightly while doing a repetitive motion (brushing my hair) and my hand will start to cramp and i csnt move them but their like moving in their own directions?? i have to physically hold my hand with the other one to stop it, its extremely uncomfortable but only happens when I grip something too hard.

today was an odd experience, I was holding my handbag with my hand but on my fingers sort of and I got into my mums car and it started to happen but I don’t understand why? this doesn’t happen a lot as most of the time if I’m doing something that can trigger it I can feel a cramp coming and I’ll stop or loosen my grip.

any advice is appreciate, thank you in advance!

Hi everyone, I’m reaching out because I feel totally helpless and really need some advice about my younger brother. I’m the older sibling, and since I lived away from home for a few years and am naturally pretty extroverted, adjusting to new places was never a big deal for me. My brother is completely different—he’s super quiet, keeps to himself, and only has about two close friends. He moved away for college, and the homesickness has been hitting him so hard. He’s somehow pushed through 1.5 whole years, but it hasn't gotten any better, and now he just wants to drop everything and come back home for good.

​It breaks my heart to see him like this, so I told him that if he’s truly miserable, he can come home anytime and we’ll figure things out together because his happiness comes first. But honestly, as his older sibling, I’m terrified. I’m so worried that because he’s so introverted and reserved, it’s going to be really hard for him to handle the real world later on if he gives up now.

​Since I’ve never felt this kind of overwhelming homesickness myself, I’m at a total loss on how to talk to him. What can I say to comfort him right now, and how can I help him build confidence without letting him make a decision he might regret later?

I need advice. I have been with this friend group in college for all 4 years and now in the workforce. I honestly haven't made a lot of friends since I am studying for this dang CPA exam, so its eating up all my time, but I also moved across the country for this job too. I am away from family and friends, but it is for my career which is good.

But getting back on topic. I have had these friends in college for about 4 years. Basically my whole undergrad. We were all really good friends and honestly, after sophomore year, I started to become the punching bag. They would make jokes about me behind my back, imitate me, etc.. I didn't get bothered by it in the beginning but as it went on it started to bother me.

I never spoke up or anything because I am afraid and I SHOULDN'T BE. I know deep down these guys will have my backs and would take a bullet for me, but I am one that is too nice, and don't realize I am getting pushed over sometimes. I talk to these people almost everyday but it seems like they only talk to me when I am bored. And the only reason why I am afraid is because of their reaction but I know some of them will be genuine and some will think I am a pussy/overreacting. There are some days I don't respond, and they ask why I don't respond. But I knew if those people were all together without me, they would be joking about me.

Anyways, I bring up my CPA license because my motivation to pass these exams is to do better than them. These people failed out of engineering/or have shitty college majors/no job so I want them to watch me succeed to regret pushing me over.

From what I know, I pretty much know the answer to if these people are my friends or not. Idk, I try to live my life by knowing that life is too short to give a damm about what others think of you and yah I do live my life to no shame, but it gets to me, especially when these people who I call my "friends" joke about me like this. And I am a pussy for not standing up for myself. But I have a gut feeling if I did, it wouldn't have a good reaction from them.

My fear also is if i dont have them, I have no one. I work in the corporate world but I have NO IDEA how people make friends in a new city. I am not a person that is socially awkward and I make peole laugh a lot. So maybe it is just because I have only been here for 3 months. But anyways, is it worth to cut these people off and start all over (with new friends i will eventually make)?

At home for ages I have been always on edge and avoiding my parents - constant opinions, defensiveness, always negative energy behind what they want to say.

About a month ago, I put my name down for a HA flat and I got first in the line and went for a viewing today but my parents are refusing to let me go because they are worried I will go off the deep end again! They’re forgetting their behaviour is part of the reason I overdosed - constant flippancy since I was 3, their ignorance/inappropriate dealing with my ASD when I was diagnosed (I started mainstream school and realised more adults were involved and I was getting pulled out for things and I asked my parents who were being dismissive on my questions) and the pattern went on till today - they are always ignoring and downplaying my issues, saying I need to consider their own first 😩🙄

What should I genuinely do? Social housing is like hens teeth these days and the location is perfect - in town near public transport so I can get to uni quickly and I have an appt with the crisis doctor tomorrow morning who I will be asking about the move and seeing what they think of it - but I think I need somewhere new and space so my parents get a much needed reality check

Hi everyone. I’m an 18-year-old girl, and I could really use some outside perspectives because I feel completely torn. This is going to be long because I think the context matters, and I really don’t want people to jump to conclusions before hearing the whole story.

A little background first: I have been diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). One of the biggest ways it affects me is that whenever I feel like my freedom, independence, or ability to make my own decisions is being threatened, my brain goes into complete overdrive. It doesn’t just feel like someone is telling me “no.” It feels like my autonomy is being taken away, like my life is no longer mine to control. I know that feeling isn’t always an accurate reflection of reality, but emotionally it feels incredibly real and can become all-consuming.

Another important piece of context is my parents. They have completely different parenting styles.

My dad respects my privacy a lot. He never comes into my room, he generally trusts me to make my own decisions, and although he doesn’t necessarily like that I smoke, he doesn’t really lecture me about it because, from his perspective, he’s been a teenager before, so he gets where I’m coming from. I’m not failing school, I’m not neglecting my responsibilities (sometimes, of course I’m not perfect), I’m working on building my own business, and I take my future very seriously. Sometimes he even jokes about it because he sees me as a responsible person overall.

My mom is the opposite. She loves me deeply, but when she’s worried, she becomes much more protective. She has checked my room before, she’s smelled weed and cigarettes in my room several times recently, and she’s become increasingly upset about it. She believes using the money that she and my dad worked hard to earn to buy weed or cigarettes is wrong, and she even told me that I was sinning by spending their clean, hard-earned money on it. She’s genuinely scared about what smoking could do to my health. I don’t think she’s trying to control me because she’s a bad person. She’s acting out of love and fear. The problem is that, because of how my OCD works, the way these conversations happen affects me very differently than I think she realizes.

Recently, she told me that I had to choose between her and smoking. That was honestly crazy to hear. I consider myself a pretty logical person, and I know smoking has risks, but I also know myself. I’ve been through a phase similar to this before where I was smoking more, and I was able to stop, take a break, let my body recover, and then come back to it later when I felt like I had it under control again. That’s part of why I don’t feel like smoking is going to ruin my life, even though I recognize it isn’t healthy.

Lately, I’ve definitely been smoking more than I should be, and I’m not trying to deny that. I also know I’ve been less productive than I normally am. I don’t completely neglect my responsibilities, but I know I could be doing way more for the business I’m trying to build and for other areas of my life. The past few weeks, I’ve honestly just had very little motivation to do much of anything. Even so, I still wake up early, I still go to the gym, I still take care of the things I need to do, and I’m still thinking seriously about my future. I’m just not as motivated or determined as I normally am. That’s one of the reasons why I struggle when people assume the smoking has completely taken over my life, because from my perspective, it hasn’t. I still have goals, I still have discipline in many areas of my life, and I still care deeply about where I’m headed. I know I’m capable of more than I’ve been giving lately, but I also know this period of low motivation isn’t who I want to be forever.

But what makes this so difficult for me is that I hate feeling like I’m not in control of my own decisions. When my mom simply says “no,” my brain completely freaks out. It’s not because of the substance itself. At least emotionally, this whole situation has stopped being about weed or cigarettes. It has become about freedom. My brain starts sending off alarms telling me that I’m trapped, that my autonomy is disappearing, and that I’m no longer allowed to make choices for myself. It feels psychologically claustrophobic.

If it were entirely my decision, I wouldn’t even want smoking to become a huge part of my life. I don’t want to smoke every day forever. I don’t want it to define me. In my mind, it was always supposed to be something fun that I chose to do from time to time, not something that controlled my life. Ironically, the more I feel like the choice is being completely taken away from me, the more my brain wants to fight for that choice. That’s what my OCD latches onto.

I know I’ll be moving out at the end of the year, and before that, my parents won’t even be home for two months. I feel horrible for my mom because I obviously love her, and I hate seeing the person I love in pain. I hate knowing that something I’m doing is causing her so much stress. At the same time, what she’s saying is making my OCD feel 100 times worse, and I’ve tried explaining that to her many times. We’ve had this conversation countless times before, but this time it didn’t even make me want to stop smoking. Instead, it made me want to smoke less, be more secretive, and hide it better. I hate admitting that because I don’t want to be dishonest with my parents, but that’s honestly what happened inside my head. It wasn’t about wanting the weed it was about wanting to feel like I still had a choice.

That’s another reason why my dad and I handle this differently. He’s a very logical man, and while he doesn’t necessarily approve of me smoking, he doesn’t see it as me being a bad person or “sinning” the way my mom does. Because of that, I don’t really feel the need to hide things from him.

For me, this has become about much more than smoking. It has become a conflict between my need to feel like I have autonomy over my own life and my mom’s very understandable desire to protect me. I genuinely love my mom, and another part of me feels incredibly guilty because I know she’s scared and because I hate being the reason she’s hurting. She’s not trying to be cruel, she’s trying to protect me. I just wish there were a way for her to do that without my brain interpreting it as my freedom being taken away.

First of all I’m sorry for my bad English, it’s not my native language. While every other person looses and wins. I just loose. Whatever I do, support, want, hope it keeps losing. I keep losing. And I am very disapointed at myself. But I don’t know what to do. And I don’t have the energy or the motivation to keep going. I am tired of disapointing myself, my family and losing. I don’t know what to do.

I’m extremely health anxious but I smashed my phone screen yesterday accidentally. When I was in bed last night after touching my screen I touched my eye, I’ve been panicked ever since that there is a small shard of glass from the screen in my eye. My eye isn’t red, it’s not watering it just feels like something is in it. Am I worrying myself for nothing? My partner says if something was in it I’d know I’m just scared if glass is in it and I leave it

I recently got suspended from school for one day due to a disciplinary issue. The incident happened on Monday.

For some background, I'm a Grade 11 student in India. I consider myself reasonably intelligent, but my habits—procrastination, laziness, and not putting in consistent effort—as well as my attitude toward others, have always held me back from achieving what I know I'm capable of.

On Sunday, I told my mother that I would play Valorant with my friend for a couple of hours and then study. After I finished playing, I went to eat something. During that time, my mother hid my laptop charger. I had several assignments to complete because I had already fallen behind due to procrastination, but I decided to wait a few hours before asking her for it. When I finally asked, she said she would give it back by 8:30 p.m., but she didn't return it until around 9:30 p.m.

By then, my father had come home from work. He had been drinking, although during the daytime he is usually a very caring father. I went upstairs to eat, and when he came upstairs, he told me to go to my room and iron my clothes for the next day.

It was already around 10:00 p.m., and my friend was about to go to sleep, so I messaged him to send me some homework that I still needed to complete. When my father came downstairs again and saw that I had not ironed my clothes yet, he became angry. He scolded me, saying that I never listened to him, and he hit me. He also threatened to take me out of my school and break my laptop.

The next morning, I went to school in a very bad mood because of everything that had happened the previous night. I was also stressed because my homework was incomplete.

While practicing for a roleplay that we had later that week, one of my friends and I got into an argument. I lost my temper, grabbed him by the neck, and used abusive language toward him. This kind of rough behavior had unfortunately become common in our friendship, but this time our Vice Principal happened to walk past the classroom and witnessed the incident.

Later, I was called to school along with my father, where I was informed that I had been suspended for one day. My father believes that the situation is my fault because I don't always listen to or respect my elders. I do agree that I was wrong to use abusive language at school and to take my anger out on my friend. Regardless of how upset I was, my actions were inappropriate, and I accept responsibility for them.

Now, I'm looking for advice on a few things:

• How can I bring about a positive change in myself?
• How can I become more respectful and better at listening to my elders? I've often felt that if I say I'll do something after a little while instead of immediately, I'm not doing anything wrong, but this seems to create problems.
• How can I make a good impression on my principal after this incident?
• How can I maintain a better relationship with my mother? No matter how much I try to improve, we often end up arguing, and I feel that she doesn't treat me kindly.
• How can I stop being so lazy and procrastinating every day?
• How do i remember most of the advice that the principal gave me in school? I zoned out during the conselling session and forgot most of everything

I’m (M22) struggling with a major disappointment and could use some perspective.

I recently went through a hiring process for a role at a media company I really admire. I made it through multiple rounds, completed a writing/research assignment, and had a second interview last week. Thought I was close to the finish line.

Then today I got an email saying the team had decided to “pause hiring for now.” Logically, I understand this may have nothing to do with me. But emotionally, it’s been really difficult. I do have another job offer as a safety net (in a completely different and uninteresting field), but I’m struggling because this was the opportunity I actually cared about.

For people who have experienced something similar: how do you stop yourself from treating one setback as proof that your whole future is ruined? How do you process losing something you were genuinely excited about?

We(24f) both are clearly emotional beings and despite a lot of difference I find a good friend in her. In recent times, she has been going through a lot (breakup, dental surgeries) etc. If not providing whole solutions to her problems, I can say I was there for her and she was there for me as well. we both are one of the major anchors in each other's lives that make us move forward. I value her friendship.

Last week, there was a presentation of hers for a said time which I could not attend on time. I had a valid reason, I went for jogging and got myself dehydrated (first time jogging long runs). Still I showered I showed up because I thought even If I am late, I think showing up matters. When I entered the hall, it was about to be over.(the whole presentation is 20 mins, like a class presentation- no credits, just for participation, some would do it for 10, some for 40 mins). I guessed she would be nervous but I could not get out of bed due to muscle sore.

Now, I am wondering whether being this integral in each other's lives has it negative impacts such as being too dependent on each other emotionally. If I had been in that situation, I would definitely wished she was there if I had been nervous. But I wont get mad at her for not showing up given her circumstances. Here she said I fucked up big time for not showing up at the right moment.

I wouldn't care about this, in the sense, I would think to still take responsibility if I had been at a better place. We both are scholars, deadlines coming up. we both have different dimensions of worries and problems. I have a huge deadline for the day after that day, my guide had been on my nerves for 2 months now with added family pressure for others things. I am fucking lost as she is. I don't want to compare the magnitude of stress because its just different kinds.

All I wanted was for her to understand the situation and move on. Still she is being hurt over this and kind of act indifferent towards me. She could not see over the pain of situation and look at mine. I don't want her to completely dissolve it. I said sorry and wish she understands but its been days she hasn't. Given that she has not any other trustworthy friends, I try my best to be there. But I can't fulfill anything in any aspect of my life. I feel like I am disappointing everyone in my life whom I truly care about.

The main problem is I can't bring it to actions even though I care about things, work, my people. And I feel like I deserve to be alone but I am afraid of that loneliness as well. I reason I started jogging was to carry the weight off my chest, of all problems. That day I felt refreshed in the morning but felt like pulled down in life because my friend said I fucked up big time.

Despite being breaking down at times, I try to care. I try to show up. Its not easy for me. I am not a people pleaser, I don't care about what everyone thinks of me. I only care about few people but lately I have been having hard time to regulate my emotions or relationship with people. I always undermine my pain when I talking about it to others since I don't want to put my guard down or don't like people pitying my situation.

Does it matter to feel guilty over this? or what I am missing here?

Randomly whenever I watch a video or I'm on a call everything is quiet except any background audio, it only happens with talking, I have looked in my volume mixer, I have turned everything up to 100, I have looked in the device manager, nothing works, please help.

So bascially, I have a strict father and I just wanted to have some independence, I had wanted to go to my grandmother's for the summer, even after he told me no, before I confronted him again and said Im going, to practice driving too, because he hadnt helped me all summer, I intended to come back before school started, but if thats his ultimatum that if I go im not coming back

So idk anymore

I wanted to get a car and a job etc, then go to a pretty elite or reputable school for art and anthro, for full ride, and Ik its optimistic, but Im tired of being at home, its strict and draining

a couple hours later, my dad called me into his room to talk more

He said to me that im not thinking bascially or that something else is happening, because all of a sudden I wnna go to my grandma's, and yeah half true cuz my mom talked to me

And also, how im not thinking this thru, how im making one of the biggest mistakes of my life how this will set me back and I won't be able to go back to school so easily and im digging a hole under my feet just by messing the first semester, how I cant just apply to schools in this short of a notice and who will sign my papers and coloans etc etc

How he had a whole plan for me , for a smooth transition period l, how I should stay one more year and listen to my dad, how at the end of this month he'll put me in drivers school ill get my license and ill be in the dorm and on my own next year for my juniors (its tempting but I dont wnna, I was gnna transfer from my school anyways, I hate the city im kn, and he says he put me in this cuz the area was safe and it was one of the best schools in America, when its not just because the art program can have ur deisgn put on the new York clock tower) and how if I do get into a school outside he won't help me and im on my own

And also how he'll never kick his kids out but won't let me set a bad example or cause chaos for the family for my siblings etc, and how hes offering me this and if I leave he won't help me etc

He said hes been dealing with his own health and recently finding out my brother has mental issues and shi, and thats why hes been focusing on my brother this year and allat

And also how if I leave. Im dropping out of school bascially and the navy will.kick me off health insurance etc

But my mom said my brother was never taken to the docter and he seems to be giving excuses why he didnt and not owning up etc. And how its seems it's good hes trying to stop me but doing it wrong, by just trying to scare me or make me doubt

At the same time I dont rlly trust ny grandma, shes messy, and still has bad blood with my father, and my mom says its good to listen to my dad too, but I dont wanna, he says im thinking with my emotions not thinking this thru, but I want my own life I just wanna draw and illustrate, and be at home and be free and work and go to school

Idk he ruined my flow with that convo, is he bring true how ill be 30 by the time im back on track and go to school, he says ill be telling my grandkids not to do what I did and how this happened to him when he had a scha9lrshipnfor Canada and went to the US and then had to go back to school at 40 and hownhe now has a masters it dont help him cuz he dont use it and he's old and allat

And idk who to trust and im tired and feel trapped i wish my life could be normal.

Idk, some advice on what to do, is this the right decision Im making? Like am I going to ruin my life if I do this?

even when i was young and had no concern about a future job, college, home life, etc, i never really had trademark childhood experiences. i rarely talked to people other than parents, never had a sleepover or met up with people outside of school, never been in a relationship, never done an extracurricular activity, never traveled out of state, etc. i grew up in an apartment under 1k square feet all my life and i know it sounds spoiled to be complaining but still, i wish i had a backyard or pool or second floor; literally had to learn to walk up stairs without falling as a teen when i went to a school that had a second floor the first time.

i feel like all this is partially my fault because both my parents are qualified for decent jobs, but only one of them could work at a time because i had some mental problems that lasted years. its too late now because of time constraints and medical problems on their side. there were many evenings they warned me i would end up broke in the future because i was underdeveloped and its all coming true. the only thing i had over people my age was that i was a gifted kid, and even that is diminishing as courses get more chaotic. whenever i make small mistakes my parents worry i could be degrading back to my previous state (im basically normal now), or just showing my lack of progress since everyone else got a head start from said condition during early life. i just get reminded of opportunities i missed.

in different 'cliques' i feel socially behind because i just never developed anything to offer. some people go to parties and do stupid things like getting drunk, meanwhile i still don't know how to talk to people normally and i'm not even allowed to use social media (this is a secret account). i made smart friends at school because they seemed down to earth too, but now i notice the cars they drive and their home life and i see they are well educated because they have some generational wealth. both of the aforementioned archetypes are some of the same people i got compared to constantly as a kid, developing and growing up faster than i am, and it doesnt sit right with me.

college is becoming a big part of my and my peers lives. i live in a business-centric town where about 30-40% of the strangers i see on the road drive premium cars (cadillac, mercedes, etc). everyone i talk to seems to have the money/connections to go to a university far away (more than driving distance) from my hometown, and even if i went to the cheapest school available along with community college, my family still wouldn't have enough money to move me out. i never had the trademark school life and i'm never gonna have the trademark college life either. the worst part is its not like my classmates do some crazy budgeting, they go on pricey trips and wear brand name clothes and have homes many times as big as mine. some of the stupidest people i know wear a bunch of jewelry and will probably go to a more prestigious university than i could ever dream of.

basically i feel like a side character with no well developed plot even in my own story. i can never do cool or notable things when nobody is watching, and i cant be better off than others.

How do I go about my shitty behavior?

I (19m white) had a friend (19m) from online. He knew where I lived but for some reason he’d never tell me where he lived- not even a general location. Eventually he said he lived in Korea- then switched it to Europe- then Korea again. It became kind of a joke between us because it was so absurd that he changed his location regularly. We were in a group chat with 3 other friends of ours.. I’ll call them E, J, and L.

My friend eventually called me a stupid American during our banter and called me “racist” and I in turn called him a “stupid Korean European” as a joke- now I was fully aware he didn’t live in either places, but I said it anyway. Eventually “L” asked why we were being racist and in response my friend said “he’s only racist to me” and I replied with “that’s right European”.

Eventually in a later conversation I call him a slow ass European Korean.

A week later I see “J” post a story talking about how racist jokes aren’t funny- which I agreed with and liked- but then I didn’t realize he was talking about me specifically.

I (and my friend) were perhaps foolishly under the assumption that what we did wasn’t racist because we weren’t originally intending it to be about race- but about the places we were or weren’t from. But I apologized to everyone because I did offend and make people uncomfortable.

Now I’m here wondering if I should really be around people especially Poc because what I did is kinda a permanent thing. I wonder how honest I should be or if I should publicly admit what I did so I wouldn’t be deceitful. I’m also a little hesitant about well doing a lot of stuff socially or well any of those things. Im not sure what my boundaries for things should be- so advice would be liked.

I’m not gonna pretend I’ve not been a piece of shit but is it forgivable? Like how bad was it and how should I be accountable/ allow people to hold me accountable?