I used to help my neighbor a lot. I drove her grocery shopping and even borrowed a different car so I could take her mom to the hospital because my own car only has two seats.
A few years ago, after my toxic ex threatened to break into my apartment, I bought a security camera. Since I didn’t have internet yet, I asked my neighbor if I could temporarily use her Wi-Fi so the camera would work. I explained the situation and how scared I was.
She said she didn’t want to get involved. We didn’t speak for the next two years.

We’ve only recently started talking again, well she started, I am just being polite. This evening, she called because the person who was supposed to drive her and her cat to the vet tomorrow canceled last minute. I technically could help, but it would also mean waiting with her (for 1-2 hours the cat gets teeth surgery) and spending time together, acting like nothing happened, and I’m not that shallow of a person. I don’t really want to.
Part of me feels guilty because it was a last-minute cancellation and I know she’s in a difficult situation. But another part of me feels used. When I really needed someone, she wasn’t there for me and we never talked about that.

I know she didn’t owe me anything, but I think I don’t owe her anything either. If I were the one asking for help tomorrow, I genuinely don’t believe she’d do the same for me.
AITA if I tell her I’m not available, even though I probably could make it work?

TW: child abuse, family conflict

Summary cause its long:
My wifes mom and her brother came to stay with us for 3 months for first time ever. We live in different country. Her brother is 45 and is on wheelchair. He and my wife always fought a lot even on phone. During the stay he was nice to everyone except my wife, always putting her down. My wife confronted him about him abusing her when they were kids - she told her mom about it 5 years back already. Then during a fight he just blurted it out loud in front of everyone like sorry for raping you what more you want. I had no idea about any of this till then. I booked them on early flight back. I told my wife she should cut him off completely and that I resent her mom for bringing him to our house knowing everything. Now my wife keeps saying it’s her fault and she should not have confronted him.

Full post
I really need to vent cause I'm just so angry and confused right now.

My wifes mom and her brother came to stay with us for 3 months. Its first time anyone from her family visited after marriage. I live in different country from them. I was against 3 months from start cause I know my wife and her brother fight like crazy, like full screaming fights on phone. But I said ok for my wife.
Her brother is 45, paraplegic, wheelchair since an accident years ago. He is on disability income and also tutors children on the side.

From day 1 I noticed this weird thing - he is super charming with me, with everyone, helpful and nice. But with my wife he is just so nasty. Comments on her job, her confidence, everything. Like he enjoys putting her down.

My wife started therapy recently and one day when it was just them she confronted him about when they were kids. She was a little kid, he was a teenager and he used to rub against her when sleeping multiple times. She told her mom about this 5 years ago.

Then we all had this big argument together and out of nowhere he just snaps and starts shouting and coming towards her saying sorry for raping you as a child and being mean what else you want for forgiveness. He used that word, not her. I was just frozen, I had no clue about any of this before that second. His mom started crying and telling him to leave and he pushed her as well.

I asked him later do you even feel sorry and he goes yes sorry but what is solution now how to solve this. Like its some quick fix problem. He is 45 ffs.

After that he started doing this thing where he tries to make me and his mom feel like my wife is the problem, she is depressed she needs medicine she is failure etc. This is exactly what my dad used to do to my mom and it triggered me so bad.

I just lost it and booked them both on early flight. I said you need to leave. I told my wife I'm done I will never have any contact with him again and honestly she should cut ties too for her own healing. And I told her mom I resent her for bringing him to my house to stay for 3 months when she knew what he did 5 years ago.

Now my wife is just blaming herself, saying she should not have confronted him and this fight would not have happened.

I feel like shit cause I see how much this childhood stuff has messed with her confidence and body image all her life and she is such an amazing woman. But I'm also so fuming at her mom. Like how do you know your daughter was abused and you still bring him to our house and make us host him for 3 months?
I told them I wont have any contact with him going forward. I know cutting ties is her call not mine but I can't have him in my life or house again.

AITAH for telling my wife to cut ties with him and for resenting her mom for bringing him here knowing everything?

My husband has been a big survivor fan for years and he dreams of going on Survivor this coming cycle. AITAH for not being supportive of this dream - our first child is 3 and our second child is on the way in January, so if he gets selected then I assume baby will be a maybe 5-6 months old since it happens in summertime.

I am concerned about his health with the starvation, his allergies, his eczema, sun exposure. As a dentist, I’m also not a fan of him not having a toothbrush or toothpaste. Honestly also scared that something will happen to him on this adventure when we’re so far away. He says no one has died on survivor so far, but there’s certainly people who have had to be medically evacuated.

I know it’s hard to get on the show so it’s not like he is a shoe in if he applies, but AITAH for not being supportive of this dream. I’m sure it’ll be a “once in a lifetime” experience and that he’ll be immersing himself into a game and world that he loves. But, we will literally have a baby and I will have returned to full time work by then… Thanks in advance for reading and any advice appreciated!

So my brother and SIL are having a baby next month, they both have jobs so they’re planning to have her over our house and they implied they want me to take care of her and clean her…etc. even my mom telling me I have to learn how to take care of a baby, but I said no to them, I’m still afraid soon it might cause more problems if I kept saying no because I don’t want to disturb anyone’s peace or have problems with my family.

I just graduated from hs and as I’m trying to get in college I’m still at my mom’s house, I’m afraid I might not get accepted to the college I want so then I would have to stay home and have a lot of free time which would make it justified for me to babysit her.

I have no interests in babies, even if they were my nieces or nephews I can treat them well and stuff but I don’t have interest in taking care of them for hours or days.

I (33F) and my partner 'Leo' (37M) have 3 children, one from my previous relationship and two with Leo. Leo sees all 3 as his and we are in the process of him adopting our eldest girl.

Leo's family has always had a problem with me. For context, his sister and mother are the main antagonists of this post. Both women have been pretty consistent in treating me poorly and usually in ways that most men wouldn't catch. A venom-filled statement here, and accusatory whisper to me when Leo leaves the room. His mother backs off slightly why he notices, but not his sister.

The bigger issues I've had with them include, but are definitely not limited to:

1. Them hosting an intervention for him while I was pregnant with our first to try to convince him that I had either cheated or got pregnant to force him to support me. To this day they work into casual conversation about how they would help him when he finally decides to leave me.
2. My MIL calling my grief disgusting... in front of my children... at a fancy restaurant... for Christmas dinner... that I had paid for entirely. The grief she was referring to? I had a miscarriage during our second pregnancy and decided to name and bury my angel baby beneath a tree od the same name.
3. My SIL announcing loudly at a family gathering that she doesn't think we are caring for our autistic son's needs properly. We are doing everything we can and his doctors agree that we are already going above and beyond. Shortly after that she insisted that our children will never matter as much as her friends' children will.

Leo and I agreed that, even though I'm personally going no contact, he should still bring the children to visit. However, he doesn't visit much at all for two reasons. Firstly, because our 3 children are quite a handful alone and his family says they are there to visit not babysit so he has a hard time being there with them without me. Secondly, though more importantly, he hates how they treat me and had cut contact until they can be better towards me. I say had because that recently changed.

He is planning to take the children to his mother's this coming weekend. I told him to have fun (not in a sarcastic way) and that I'll be home cleaning up and taking a rest. Now he's conflicted because he wants me to come, but I really don't feel supported or respected in that house.

So reddit, AITA for going no contact with my in-laws? Should I just suck it up like a couple of my friends have suggested? I'll try to answer any questions I can to clear things up if I need to.

Update:

Thank you to everyone who commented on my original post.

We ultimately agreed to part ways with the business and try to preserve the friendship. Unfortunately, the criticism of me continued.

A few days ago, a young child arrived at my house unattended, asked to come inside to see my cats, and reached through my window. I live in a security estate and had no idea who her mother was, so I posted in the community group to find her family and raise the safety concern.

Her mother had been asleep and had not realised her daughter had slipped out. She was incredibly grateful that the community helped find her. The conversation then expanded because other residents shared that this wasn't the first time toddlers had been seen wandering around the estate unattended.

My friend publicly commented on the post saying that what I had done was inappropriate and that I needed to respect parents. She later messaged me privately saying that, as a mother, she would have been "highly ticked off" if someone had handled the situation the way I did and that I should have gone directly to the child's mother instead of posting publicly.

The problem was that I couldn't go directly to the child's mother because I had no idea who she was. Finding her was the entire reason I made the post.

What surprised me even more was the community's response. Nobody agreed with my friend. Instead, several people reached out to me privately telling me not to take what she'd said to heart and that I had absolutely done the right thing, and more than one person asked me, "Isn't that your friend?"

The little girl's own mother thanked both me and the community for helping get her home safely. Other moms even asked if they could introduce me to their children so they would know my house was a safe place to go if they ever needed help while I was working from home.

What hurt wasn't that my friend disagreed with me. It was that this had become another example of being told my judgment wasn't valid because I'm not a mother. That I need to "learn to respect parents". She knows my husband and I have been trying to conceive. I'm also a qualified teacher, so child safety has always been something I take seriously.

That was when I realised this wasn't an isolated disagreement anymore. It had become a pattern where my intentions were consistently assumed to be negative, my perspective was dismissed, and I was repeatedly made to feel as though I was fundamentally incapable of understanding situations involving children simply because I haven't had my own yet.

So I ended the friendship. I'm sad it came to that, but I no longer wanted to stay in a friendship where I constantly felt I had to defend my character, and I will not be around someone trying to convince me that my maternal instincts are wrong when I have my own child.

Alright peeps, I (31M) just had the worst nap wake up ever! A dude knocked on the door frame of our dining room double door as he immediately entered from the back yard entrance. Just walked in to my house at 1pm on a Tuesday after I had been home sick taking a nap, calling ‘hey Amanda you in?’ And I yelled at him to get the heck out of my house because I was calling the cops. I had immediately popped out of bed, got out of his line of sight from the dining room to my bedroom which has a double door entrance to the kitchen and dining room, just like the door to the back. Oh, I wasn’t wearing any pants either, cuz… home alone taking a nap without any visitors planned.

So I scramble out of sight around my bathroom corner, grab the desk lamp mirror thing off my wife’s vanity while dialing 911 in my other hand. Honestly, I’m feeling pretty good about my intruder response time on it, looking back. Anyways...

He stopped moving further into my house, but stood inside our dining room for 5 seconds before asking ‘is Amanda here?’ I said no. ‘Does Amanda live here’ no. ‘Did she used to live here?’ No man, get the heck out of my house, last warning!!! So he finally was like, ‘oh! oh sorry!’ and left.

I hear the back door shut, I watch him through my curtains, go back out my back yard gate and around the side. At this point, my adrenaline finally stops firing and my fuzzy, ‘just woke up from a nap with a stranger in my house’ response and realize that there’s an Amanda that lives 2 doors down from us. So, I pull on some pants, and watch for the guy to actually be reversing out of my driveway. When I see he’s actually leaving, I hop out my front door and flag him down. I march up and pretty curtly tell him while pointing at the house: “there’s an Amanda that lives in that one. Could be what you were looking for.” I turned back around to go back inside the house.

AND THEN he has the gall to say “hey man, that’s all you had to say! Didn’t need to be yelling about the cops!” I was SO INCREDULOUS right then. I whirled around to yell at him again. “Are you freaking kidding me??? Get off my driveway asshole!” And I pulled out my phone to video him.

Anyways, he left. I told my wife what happened and she said I overreacted pretty hard and she’s gonna be embarrassed the next time she has to talk to Amanda on the street. Nothing serious, I just dropped it. But like… it made me wonder. AITAH here? In retrospect, the guy stopped coming in when I yelled at him, but like, in my opinion, what the heck was he doing walking in my back door in the first place???? And yeah, I didn’t have to swear at him at the end, but I was SO SHOCKED to be getting lectured by a stranger who had just walked into my house uninvited?! Let’s pretend he had an invitation to walk in from this ‘Amanda’. You obviously don’t know her well enough to know this isn’t her house, why the frik are you walking around to the back of my house and walking inside instead of just knocking on the front door?! ((Also, I immediately called the neighbor down the street and told her about the incident and that I had pointed out her house. She laughed and said it was fine, but in hindsight that was still dumb. She checked her ring cameras, the dude never knocked on her door, sooo I also filed a police report just in case.)) Sigh. Alright, lemme hear it. AITAH?

Edit: well dang. The more I read, the more certain I am that a guy was robbing my house and I was here by accident, and he was just yelling a common name as a cover that happened to be a near neighbor. ‘Did Amanda live here before?’ Who the frik needs to know this? A bill collector? Pffffft 🤦‍♂️
My video didn’t get his plates unfortunately with my front door and the driveway being parallel to the Main Street. Weird little tucked away house that I’m now realizing is probably why I got targeted. But it got him and his truck and the police have that.
Sigh. Heard loud and clear, will start locking my doors when I’m home. When I posted, I was still thinking, ‘eh this is some delivery guy who got confused’. Now I’m super glad I grabbed something heavy.
Yeah, super bad call on telling about amanda. I mean, people have knocked on my door for several of my different neighbors. But this guy didn’t knock. Huge difference im feeling SUPER stupid for not seeing right away. Thanks everyone.

Edit for my wife: from further texts, my wife was calling me out for telling him about my neighbor, not for yelling at the guy lmaoooo. My wife is awesome. And I’m a moron. Case closed. 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

Edit 3: the police man that just stopped by likes you redditors and your advice. He says, “the guy was inside your home, you should have had the whole interaction recorded by 911 dispatch, and you should move your home gun to the direction of your fleeing instinct. Good job grabbing something heavy, but you should have started video recording the second you saw him leave and gotten his plates immediately. This person was 95% likely to have been casing your home and the neighborhood even though I was only a few houses down, but your home is covered by the weird in-cut driveway. You not only didn’t report this guy adequately but you gave him information on your neighborhood. Do better, heaven forbid there is a next time and fix your back door so it locks adequately. Crime happens everywhere, and someone you didn’t invite, in your home is a crime, period.”

I’ve known this friend for the majority of my life, so there’s a lot of context here, but I’ll do my best. I (23M) got married last year to my partner (23NB) who has been my rock for the last 6 years since we met. We have an extremely happy relationship, and I credit them with making sure I didn’t go down a very bad path. Ever since we’ve been together, we’ve spent a ton of time with my childhood best friend (24F), to the point where we at one point discussed all living together.
Last week, my best friend came over and confessed some really heavy stuff to both of us, including some really difficult mental health struggles, but she also came out and said she resents my marriage (the implication is because it took me away from her). She also a couple of months ago got drunk with us and claimed she was in love with BOTH of us, which I gently shut down at the time. Nothing came of that at the time, and now I’m wondering if it was just an attempt to get my attention?
This friend is someone who I love a lot, but she’s also an addict who has a way of destabilizing my life at key moments, and it really bothers me that she resents my marriage and my spouse. I’m happy for the first time in my life, and it feels like she’s terrified of that because she equates it with losing me. These last few years of friendship have been an absolute roller coaster of me desperately trying to preserve her safety and her swinging wildly between anger and neediness towards me. At this point she won’t be seeing my spouse in small groups or at our home for a while, because she really really upset them by coming out with all of this. In talking about that with my spouse, it made me wonder if I also need some space from this friend. Do I need to enforce some distance for her sake so she can find her footing without me? Am I just being bullied by this person at this point? We haven’t had similar maturity levels in a while, and sometimes she just gets so cruel and I can’t tell what her “true” feelings are or what opinion she’ll settle on. Please help :( I don’t want my friend to resent my marriage but I’ve carved out a large space in my life for her and I can’t continue to bend the knee to her every whim

I am a 51 year old man married to my 53 YO wife for 20 years this year.

My wife has a nag for pinching me whenever I interact with other people to what, in her eyes, is inappropriate behavior.

Recently, over the last 2 months these interactions have been more and more frequent. I have spoken to her to stop doing it for it makes me feel like I am not her husband but one more child she has to discipline.

Last month I reached my limit when we were at my son's graduation. All of the kids were in their togas with just a shirt and no tie. I find this completely distasteful since young men have to be taught how to dress according to the situation. This was not decided by parents but by the graduation organizing committee (a group of parents mind you). Before the ceremony began I took my own tie and put it on my son. He was the only one with a tie. I like photography a lot, so I began taking some pictures of him with my camera.

Another couple, parents to one of my son's friend, asked me to take a few pictures of them on another event and since they liked the results so much they asked me during the ceremony to take some pictures of his son after the ceremony. So I agreed. However he did not have a tie and I asked my son to take off his tie and I putt it on the other kid. Instantly I felt my wife's fingers pressing against my skin in disapproval. I took no mind so I kept going to what I was doing. After the ceremony was done and we were walking to wards the car she began lecturing me on how invasive and how rude I had been etc etc. I told her that when oh when would she ever accept me as I am. If someone asks a favor of me I'd do it my own way in the way I see fit for the best outcome. We got home, but I had steam coming out of my head by this point. I went upstairs to my son´s room and asked him if he was ready to go to his religious ceremony. He said he was. so I asked him which tie he was going to wear so he said he didn't know. Immediately my wife jumped and said "no tie is required". So I snapped "Fine, let him go in a T-Shirt then!" My wife then got mad at me and told me I was making a scene and disrupting the mood etc etc etc...I told her all she was doing was undermining my efforts as a father to raise a son in important occasions.

We did not speak all day that day. Except in church she asked me "do you mind if...." I didnt let her finish I just said "lets just do whatever the hell you want".

The next day was the graduation party and she asked me to put the incident behind us in order to have a nice time at the party so I agreed. Also 3 days later we would be leaving to a 3 week vacation to Europe.

We got to Europe with another couple, colleague from my residency training at the hospital and his wife. Also another friend of ours joined us. We got to prague and everything was going great. However my friend´s wife developed a cold and soon after I caught it also. We were in Amsterdam after visiting Prague during a Heat wave so I guess the temperature change hit me bad. I began with a terrible sore throat and my wife had brought down some benzocaine (local anesthetic) cough drops. Her intentions was to give them to my friend´s wife. However my throat was so bad the second i saw them I said "oh man I could use one of those" and reached out. Immediately I felt her finger pressing against my skin and I did not give 2 shits how far away from home we were and for how long we would be away. I snapped. I took her far from the group and Told her "STOP IT! JUST STOP IT! THIS BEHAVIOR OF YOURS HAS TO STOP! YOU ARE DRIVING ME NUTS!" After that and to this day we have been giving each other the silent treatment. Later that night after a few drinks watching the world cup I asked both of my friends in all honesty if they felt I had done something wrong. They said no they didn't see any disrespect at all. I sent a message to this kid's dad asking him if he had taken offense in doing what I did and he said he was glad I did it because the pics turned out great and he had not thought of putting on a tie on him.

So I would like to put to a vote and perhaps get a non biased opinion on what has been going on.

I have been married to this woman for almost 20 years and it has been hoop after hoop after hoop i have to jump and nothing seems to make her happy.

Its been years since we last had sex because even in that arena she has a say. I understand it is a couple thing but when you NEVER perform accordingly, it becomes a patter and quite frankly I am tired of trying.

I have been contemplating divorce seriously. Quite seriously. However IDK if i am overreacting. So tel mme. AITAH?

I (24M) work 2 hours away from home. I've worked there for over 3 years, 12 hour shifts mon-fri. When I started working here I me and 2 other guys (same age) became pretty close (one of them lives on my street so we ride together), playing online every weekend for hours, talking throughout the week and keeping up even after one of them was fired (I tried helping him get his job back). Last week I was asked to show up on a Saturday earlier than my usual shift. If I drove home it would've left me with around 3 hours to sleep, so me and the guy I drive with asked my friend if we could just park in his yard and sleep in our car since he lives like 5 minutes away, he said no. He suggested we parked at a gas station and slept in the parking lot. At first I thought he was joking since he's a good friend and he's been to my house as well, but after a few messages it became clear it wasn't a joke. Me and my other friend were very upset since we were under the impression that all 3 of us had created a close bond, after endless nights of chatting and hanging out together a simple favor that we needed somewhere safe to park wasn't granted. We didn't even ask to stay inside we just needed a place to park . After that we've refused to reply to his messages and created separate group chats without him. Am I the asshole for refusing to speak with him after this?

My wife and I got married a couple of weeks ago. We’re mid-to-late 30s, no kids, own our home, both earn well and have plenty saved. Money is not an issue for us.

I have a genuinely good relationship with my parents - I talk to them for about an hour every single week. The one rough patch was leading up to the wedding: my dad threatened not to attend if I wouldn’t invite my estranged brother. I told him I’d love to have him there, but I wasn’t inviting my brother, full stop. He eventually backed down and came, and at the wedding my parents were nothing but pleasant.

Then they handed us a check for about $40k as a wedding gift.

Some context: my parents are well off (my dad is a doctor who owns his practice), so this isn’t a life-changing amount for them and it isn’t for us either. But I haven’t taken money from my parents since I was 21. Every year they’d send birthday checks and I’d just never cash them. My mom eventually caught on and started sending gift cards from brands she knew I liked, because those are already spent and I couldn’t quietly decline them. So this dynamic isn’t new - it’s been going on for 15+ years.

The reason I don’t take their money is simple: I don’t want to feel obligated. Right now, when they ask me for something -visit more often, go on a trip with them and my brother, whatever - I can say yes or no purely based on what I actually want. There’s no transactional element. Taking $40k changes that. Even if they’d never say it out loud, I’d feel it. I like our relationship being between equals, not one where I’m accepting resources and then feeling like I owe compliance.

My wife is completely fine with declining the money. Her only concern is that we keep a good relationship with my parents and that they don’t blame her - but they know this is 100% between me and them. This is my thing, not hers.

My mom has been texting asking when we are going to cash the check, and I can tell she’s getting a bit annoyed - probably partially bc she doesn’t like the money sitting there in a checking account while it could be bearing interest… and also because, what the fuck, why won’t my dick head son take our generous wedding gift?!

FWIW we thanked them profusely, and also told them we didn’t plan to cash the check, so it’s not like I’ve left my mom wondering what’s going on.

AITAH for not wanting to take the money?

(Originally posted in AITA but banned by mods??)

My boyfriend works long hours as a blue collar worker. We sometimes don’t see each other for days because our work schedules don’t align. Because of this, we have a difficult time with intimacy. My boyfriend is a “physical touch” kind of guy. He always tells me that he cannot satisfy himself without me because he loves me so much. He doesn’t do anything unless we are together.

The thing is, I can’t wait days to satisfy myself. I personally do when he’s not home, but always think of him. He has told me in the past that he wants to be there when I do, and has expressed sadness if we do not share the intimacy together. I never promised anything though.

Well yesterday, I decided to pleasure myself when he was not home. He came home early and walked into our bedroom and surprised me. He seemed genuinely upset, like he wished I had waited until we were together. I personally did not feel like it was a big deal, and we got into an argument. I don’t think he needs to give me permission to satisfy myself. But I also feel bad because I haven’t been as intimate with him bc of our schedules and my energy levels. We talked about it and seem to have different opinions and never can meet in the middle. AITAH?

I try my best to write this but english isnt my first language so in my text might/will be some errors.

I (21M) just moved to my first own appartment. Im really quiet person so i was brave enough to move into older apparment. In my country these older aparments had thin walls so noises hears a lot more. I started to study in university and when school started my neighbor started to make noises at night. In our apartments there were a rule that after 10 pm its ”quiet time” so peoplen can sleep etc. Well my neighbor didnt eather know about this or just sidnt care. Allmost every night he started screaming and shouting at video games. He normally started aroun 11pm and stopped after 3am-4am. At fisrt i didnt mind it so much but after couple of months i started to have sleeping problem because of his screaming. I woke up every now and then when he started shouting.

Then one night i had my gf over (21f) and we watched movie together in my bedroom and talked in ”normal” voice. He started banging my wall like crazy. Thats when i lost my patience with this guy. At first i didnt stop it because i wanted to him notice that these walls are thin and maybe he could understand that if our talking was annoying then he might have to stop screaming and shouting. Well i was wrong he did not understand it. He kept screaming and shouting.

Then i first contacted my building manager. I told him everything that has happened. He told me that he would give him warning for this. After the warning he was quiet for couple of weeks and then it started again..

Now i started to take recordings of his screaming and shouting. Now i wanted to give him a chance before giving these to the building manager so i left him a note that said ”hi, your nightly screaming and shouting needs to be stopped. I have been taking audio recordings of them and i will give them to building manager. I have around 20 of these recordings.” (Note i cant remember every word i said but this was the main point of it and the note was in my native language so i tried to translate the best i could). Well i dropped this note to his mailbox and went home. Around 10 minutes later i heard the LOUDEST scream he ever did. He started screaming about my note (i heard every word) and syaing stuff like ”WHAT, I HAVENT EVEN BEEN MAKING NOISES”. After like 5minutes of his emotional breakdown he started calming down and didnt make a sound for couple weeks again.

Then he started to screaming and shouting again… i guess he thought i bluffed because he didnt get any official warning because i didnt give those recordings yet. Well now i gave them and at the same time i called my local social workers to make welfare check appointment. In my country either police or social workers does these check ins mainly depends on how acute situation is. Well i told them that im worried about my neighbor because he keep screaming and shouting every night for months. I gave his address and name to them. They said they will be taking contact to him.

One day i heard multiple peoples voices talking there calmly but i cant say for sure it was those workers because they either try to contact you via phone or if you dont answer they will come to door. But i got noted that they made contact. After that he hasnt been making anymore nightly shouting and screaming.

So—- AITA for calling wellfare check for my neighbor

TL;DR: My neighbor kept screaming and shouting at night for months even tho he had warnings about it. Then i recorded his screaming gave him a note about his screaming and after all i called wellfare check on him.

We have a coworker that in his department is the only one who truly works so that's why he gets the most difficult tasks, the other one are not interested and are either saying they're busy or just ignore the tasks or do them badly.
My boss knows about this and is constantly saying he's gonna fire them but nothing ever happens.
So the coworker that actually does his job made a big mistake which costed the company money and everyone was involved and stuff, this happened once in 9 months, so he got punished by my boss.

I criticized him badly for doing this and I stated that either everyone answers or no one and that he's unfair, I said a lot of stuff to him so he's a bit grumpy about this, other coworkers from other departments are 50/50, some share my opinion, others said there should've been a punishment but overlooked after a time.

First, some context – I (36M) have been living with my roommate (32F) for 4 years. We share an apartment because the cost of living in my city is high, and besides, it just worked for us until now. Our apartment has three rooms – I occupy the largest bedroom, and she has the small bedroom plus the living room (which I also have access to but don't use – it only holds her stuff and she decorates it however she wants). We arranged the split this way because I work from home and needed a room big enough to set up an office as well. I'm also a homebody, so I really value my own space and spend a lot of time in it – I only leave the house for grocery shopping, dates, and jogging. She, on the other hand, spends most of her time out – she works in the city for 10-12 hours each day and is very outgoing; she doesn't like staying in and often goes out with friends.

I am in a relationship with my girlfriend (33F), who visits me regularly, about twice a week, and sometimes stays the night. We plan to move in together once our life situations stabilize a bit (I don't want to get into details here, as they are irrelevant to this post). My roommate was single for most of the time we lived together, but a year ago she met a man (34M) from another country online, and they are in a long-distance relationship. During this time, they have seen each other in person once, when she visited him in his country.

Recently, a conflict arose between us because her boyfriend decided to visit her for 10 days and, by default, stay at our apartment. I didn't mind this. However, as the arrival date approached, my roommate started asking if I was planning a vacation or a trip during the time her partner would be visiting, which was in July. I answered truthfully that I had been on vacation in June and had trips planned for August and September, so I wasn't planning on leaving the house in July. Especially since my work is freelance/contract-based, and when I'm not working, I simply don't earn money – for this reason, spontaneous trips are out of the question for me. I have to plan everything in advance to manage my finances well.

My roommate acknowledged this and didn't bring up the topic again. Until recently. A few days before his arrival, she asked again if I was planning a vacation while her boyfriend gonna be here. I answered again, though a bit annoyed, that I wasn't – I had already told her before that I couldn't afford a spontaneous trip and needed to work more this month. She didn't comment on it and walked away. The next day, however, she started the conversation again. She told me that because of me, she had to rent an Airbnb for 10 days to stay there with her boyfriend, and she believes I should pay her for it because it was because of me – since I refused to leave the apartment. She told me that she was "forced" to do so, and it is a significant burden on her budget.

I told her she must be joking and can forget about it. I also mentioned that she didn't have to do anything, as I had no problem with her boyfriend staying with us during his visit. She replied that they needed privacy and my presence at home was unwanted, so she had no other choice.

When I told her I wouldn't pay for her choices, she changed her tactics. She said that since my girlfriend visits regularly, she should contribute to the rent because it's as if she lives with us. I told her that was out of the question too, and that my partner only stays over a few days a month – she is a guest, not a resident. This angered her again, and my roommate claimed that she was suffering financial losses because of me.

Finally, she brought up another argument in the heat of the fight. She said that since I have a larger room, I should pay more (even though during the initial renting and every annual lease renewal, she was always fine with a 50/50 split, especially since we also agreed she could treat the living room as her second room). I told her that if she felt that way, she should have said so at the time of renewal (in February) – then we could have renegotiated the rates. However, I stated that as long as the old agreement with an equal rent split is in place, I have no intention of paying her anything extra, especially since she had absolutely no problem with it for so many years.

Seeing that none of her attempts to stick me with the bill for her meeting with her boyfriend worked, she said she thought "we were friends" and that it wouldn't be a problem for me to do her a "small" favor. She said she was wrong about me and that I turned out to be a classless person.

My partner and all my friends I've vented to about this situation say I have every right to live in the apartment I pay for and that my roommate is completely overreacting. Still, I'm looking for validation from people who have no personal connection to me. AITAH?

I (20F) have been friends with Mimi (22F) for around 3 years and her birthday is in a week and I don’t feel like going.

I just went through a pretty bad breakup and my grandmother is on hospice care and might die any day now and she’s the last grand-parent I have left. I was also just clinically diagnosed with ocd anorexia depression and anxiety and a trillion other excuses but that’s not why I can’t go.

Her birthday plans are elaborate and expensive. She wants us to do an activity then dinner then go to the club. I am very broke right now and initially I thought it was just dinner but she kept adding things which is her right so I didn’t account for anything over that and money is very tight right now because of my grandmother’s medical bills and my treatments.

She also invited 16 people which I only know her from and no one else -which is also her right I hope she has a wonderful birthday- but that just makes medical not wanna go , two of the people she invited are also assholes in my opinion -i know
Them from social media- and she also invited multiple of her exes who also kinda hate me which makes me anxious but again none of my business. I am filled with anxiety about this , I really don’t feel like any of the activities and I am just a bunch of dread and doom right now I don’t wanna ruin the vibes. they’re also going to do drugs as part of the plans which I can’t do because I am on antidepressants , I also can’t drink because I am on benzodiazepines and I cant eat because well…

I bought her a gift and I am willing to hang out one on one or maybe drop my gift off and go and/or make our own plan but I don’t want to go to her actual birthday because quite frankly I don’t really have the will to live. WIBTAH if I didn’t go ?

My sister and I have been estranged for about seven years. The last three times we vacationed together, we ended up screaming at each other, and things got physical. After the last incident, I cut contact. We’ve seen each other a couple of times at funerals, but that’s it.

On July 4, I told my parents that my partner and I wanted to visit them from August 14–18. They agreed, so we planned the rest of our vacation accordingly.

My sister had told them she would visit from July 15–18. My parents even asked her to confirm the dates, which she did. Lo and behold, on July 14, she apparently realized she had actually meant August 15–18.

My parents are now asking my partner and me to change our dates. We can’t. We planned around the dates I gave them and aren’t available at any other moment.

I assume this is because my sister says she is fine being there at the same time as me, while I am the one refusing to stay in the same house as her.

I feel like this is unfair and blatant favoritism. I gave them my dates first and planned my vacation around them. More importantly, the last time my sister and I fought, seven years ago, we ended up physically fighting in a car and my parents had to pull over on the highway. I am not willing to risk a repeat—or waste my PTO—just because she now claims she has no problem being around me anymore. (To be clear, she started this fight. My parent have been pestering me for years to give her an other chance because it was a long time ago and she has « changed ». Maybe, but she hasn’t apologized).

I told my parents I am not willing to visit at another time. They can choose who gets to come.
AITA?

I am 17f and going to turn 18 in the next couple months. My house has two bedrooms and although unconventional me and my dad sleep in the same room and my mom and sister sleeps in the other. This arrangement just works better since my dad and me are night owls and prefer staying away till 12 while my sister and mom sleep early. Also my dad isn’t home almost the full day so that room is practically my room.

Now my periods are HORRIBLE like i am on the brink of passing out horrible. I get leg pain, back pain, cramps, nausea and a loss of appetite sometimes all at the same time. The pain is constant and I will be literally shaking since i don’t feel like eating anything and water only offers so much comfort. Thankfully my period cramps and intensity significantly reduce after the 2-3rd day so atleast i feel like eating something and not in constant pain.

So yesterday, i am on the first day of my period and just in my room surviving and my sister comes in and starts talking to me about school and what not. I tell her to leave 1-2 times saying I’m not in the mood and she still stays in my room looking at what I’m doing. Third time I scream at her telling her to leave and then my mom joins in shouting at me that I am evil/bad and karma will get me and some other bs.

The thing is, that day her and my dad had a fight and she walked away from the dining table and ate her breakfast in my room. I questioned why she was there and then she started shouting at me that this wasn’t my room but a part of the house anyone could be in. I didn’t know she and my dad had a fight and my question was just confusion because she ALWAYS has breakfast at the table.

I want to be left alone because I know I get bitchy on my periods because the pain and nausea drive me insane. I think it’s normal to expect that when you VISIBLY see someone cry in pain, massage their legs with pain relief creams, change their pad every 4-5 hours.etc that hey maybe you should leave this person alone. But ever since yesterday my mom is pissed with me and calling me names. I mean AITAH for asking them to stay out of my room and leave me alone?

Hello! This is my first post of this kind. I do not get into these situations a lot but here I am.

I (21F) am an art student. I live with my mom who is supporting me through my art academy. This will be relevant later.

So basically what happened is, this semester, the first years in my academy were working on a multicolor linocut which requires white pain- Which I had 2 KG of. There is 7 of them, but I wanted to help, so I offered to them my white paint so they don’t have to spend as much money as I had to as a first year.

I don’t quite recall the conversation fully but I remember telling them that they can take some color out of my bucket into a container and use that. And I told them that if they did take my bucket, they had to return it to my class.

What ended up happening is that they left the bucket for the better part of the semester in the printmaking studio, so the whole academy was using it. I did not know because I was not using white at that time, nor was I in the same studio.

I found out near the end of the semester when I did need white, that most of my paint was gone.

I usually would just bite my tongue and not do anything because, alright, maybe they didn’t mean to. But thing is, this paint costs 70 Euros for the 2 KG. And my mom paid for it so I could use it throughout my schooling.

Would I be the asshole if I asked them to give me money to replace it? Or should I just let it go?

I (M25) got a new phone and decided to post my iPhone 16e on marketplace to sell. My little sister (16) saw it and told her boyfriend (16) who is in need of a new phone. In the marketplace listing it said the phone was locked to a carrier. I also told him directly that it was locked. He still wanted it. He paid me $200 for it. I told him I would hold onto the money for a week if he decided he wanted to change his mind.

A week passes.

Nothing.

I ask my sister about his thoughts on the phone and she said he loves it. I asked her if he is able to make calls and use cellular and she said no but he didn't care because he loved the phone so much. I told her that it's been a week and I haven't heard anything. 3 weeks pass and he wants his money back. I feel I shouldn't have to and I have expressed to them that no you had your chance and waited 3 weeks to say something. The money has been used for bills and to feed my child.

AITAH for not giving him back his money despite him not saying anything within the week window I gave him and instead saying something 3 weeks later?

Edit: for clarity, the phone is locked to cricket which requires a phone to be in service for 365 days or something like that. That's why it's still locked.

Edit 2: I bought the phone outright through cricket, hated it, bought another. It was not stolen.

I (25 F) lived in a two bedroom apartment with one other girl for about 8 months. Over the last month or so, my roomate was wanting to save money and move out. I was hesitant at first, but ultimately said that we could get a sublet if I vetted her first and she seemed chill. I was going to be moving with my boyfriend at the end of our lease to a new place in a few months anyways. I wasn’t sure why anyone would want to sublease for 2.5 months, but someone was interested. She seemed a bit younger, not entirely sure of her age (maybe early 20s).

She was super quiet and seemed nice, and said that she worked nights so we wouldn’t see much of eachother. She wanted to be friends, and I said yes to be polite but I told her i’m super busy. After i got to know her, I was absolutely not interested.

She moved in and there was no issues other than general awkwardness for the first month. She’s very quiet and awkward and won’t really look at you when you talk. Then came the first issue. She starts yelling and raising her voice (not really at me) but ranting about the situation she was facing. She signed this sublease to hopefully continue the lease under her own name when my lease was up. The landlord started showing our apartment and she freaked out. I tried to tell her not to panic, and after the tour we can both sit down with her and explain your interest in applying and that you need time to look for a roomate. She just said “I’m too pissed off I have nothing nice to say right now.” This just seemed really childish to me so I left it, kind of on edge about her anger issues. She fully could have still applied and refused to call the landlord back to discuss.

The next issue was the screaming in the middle of the night. She’d invite men over which she was entitled to do so, but one night, she full on was screaming at him in full ear curdling volume. It went on for 20 minutes until about 1 am. I had to get up for work at 5:30 am and was exhausted the rest of the day. When she moved in I set very clear boundaries that we cannot have a noisy apartment on work nights. Aside from that, I was scared. I don’t like yelling in the home for various reasons, and we have neighbors. It got to a point where I had to knock on her door and say “sorry, i’m trying to sleep” and she just rolled her eyes at me and didn’t even apologize.

The day after, I tried to catch her and have a calm, productive talk. I said “Hey Last night wasn’t cool, i have to get up really early-“ and she cut me off by rolling her eyes and crossing her arms. Then she laughed and ran out of the apartment and slammed the door in my face so hard that the doorknob jammed. I asked through the door if she was okay, and I said I wasn’t trying to make her upset- and she said yeah. This read to me as very mentally unstable and or drunk or on drugs. She wasn’t behaving normally. I was honestly spooked because at the end of the day, I’d never know. After that, I let her cool of for a couple days and then I requested to share locations so that we’d know when to expect eachother home. at this point i was highly uncomfortable and didn’t want to cross paths that much. she ghosted me and refused to share, meaning she didn’t want me to know what weird shit she was doing.

She also refused to pay the energy bill halfway because “she’s barely there” and it’s “insane” even tho she keeps AC on 68 during a heat wave and doesn’t turn it off when she’s away days on end. I said I don’t live there anymore so if she wants it to be low she should turn off the ac when she’s gone. She didn’t pay me at all. I don’t live there and I payed the whole thing. I got my old roomate to do half because she’s the entire reason i’m in this situation.

her texts were heinous and honestly didn’t make any sense. She said my coffee maker and Tv that were plugged in were driving it up even tho they were off. it’s the highest it’s been in 8 months, a spike i noticed when she moved in. she takes 1.5 hour long showers. I had to go to a starbucks to use the bathroom once because I couldn’t get into my own bathroom for 2 hours.

This timing was horrible because I had exams for grad school, work was picking up, and I didn’t feel safe or comfortable in my own home. i would honestly cry out of frustration. I have other shit going on too so this was just the final straw.

But honestly that aggression freaked me out so I took my essentials and slept at my boyfriend’s house for the next week and a half until my next lease starts.

This would mean she would be alone in the apartment for about a month and a half. I texted her that I was getting ready to move in with my boyfriend and wouldn’t be home and moved most of my stuff out. She said okay that’s fine or something like that. Most of my stuff is out, but I have to do a final sweep soon and i’m honestly feeling uncomfortable.

Here’s the AITAH part. AITAH for moving out the couch, living room tv, wall decorations, most of the cutlery, and barstools. She’s living in a barren wasteland for the last month- but according to her she’s there “one night a week”. So why did you sign this sublease then u freak… if ur only going to use it for one day a week?

I’m terrified for the water and last electric bill because I know she’s driving it up and I’ll have to pay it. She won’t pay the wifi either. I still feel a bit of guilt for taking the couch,
TV, and stools without telling her first. But i’m coming from a place of pure anger and frustration because she’s been so rude and combative every step of the way and doesn’t pay the bills. she literally stole my home away from me and my multiple attempts at setting boundaries were just plowed over.

So... I was about 2 months postpartum, when my brothers friend calls me at about 8pm I just got my brand-new baby to sleep and I was actively passing out on the couch while trying to eat some oatmeal. When I get a call from this guy who NEVER calls me. So I answer hoping nothing is wrong with him or my brother. He opens with hey, I'm going to shoot myself in the backyard. My heart drops and I beg him not to, he's dead set on it and is telling me what to do with his dogs ashes and the videos he took of her. I'm crying, now my baby is crying I'm sooo hormonal and sleep deprived it's insane. I told him to wait and I would come over to talk, he lives about a half hour away. This was the first time I drove with my newborn baby, I was hoping the first time I drove with her would be to a Dr appointment lol somewhere calm. So I'm driving and realize my bf is going to get home and we're going to be gone so I call him and let him know what's going on. He was like CALL 911 I didn't want to because I know cops can make situations worse... But I wasn't exactly thinking clearly... So he convinced me to call 911.. the whole time my baby is crying her little eyes out so keep that in mind.... Well... When I get there my brother is hanging out in his car none the wiser like literally so chill has no idea what's going on ( they live together) I told him and he's like 🤦omg he's always doing this... I had NO IDEA he cried wolf about killing himself frequently.... Plus remember just a few weeks postpartum so my hormones are insane. I'm crying my eyes out in a full panic. I didn't even bring the diapers and my baby had a blowout... So that was another layer of stress...

So this guy he freaks out when I tell him i called the cops, but the cops get there and he's still there... I'm not 100% on what happened to cause all of this but he ended up getting beat up, tazed and arrested... He was sent to jail where he didn't fair well then a mental institution where guess what .. he didn't fair well... He assaulted an officer at one point so more charges... He lost his job and now he's struggling to find a job because of a felony.... He keeps sending me videos of the body cam footage where you can see me crying and begging an officer to stop hurting him with my baby crying in the background... My brother and I aren't close but he was holding me and trying to make me feel better... Once it was all over I had to change my baby and wrap her up in a rag because there was poop everywhere.... So aitah for calling the cops it's not something I would have normally done I was just so emotional and sleep deprived I think I made the wrong call...

Oh also this was about 8 months ago, so after all his messages I kinda went from caring a lot about everyone to not caring at all about anything other than my beautiful baby lol so there is a little guilt for that too. Because now I feel jaded.

Need some honest opinions because I genuinely feel guilty now.
There are 3 of us sisters and all of us are married.

My two sisters are stay at home moms and depend on their husbands financially. I got married later, continued working and my husband and I do not have kids yet.

My parents have zero savings. For years, whenever there has been any major expense, it has always been me paying for it. Apart from giving them monthly financial support, I have paid for hospital bills, home repairs, roofing work, the previous boundary wall repair and many other unexpected expenses. Overall it has been well over 30 lakh over the years.

Now the boundary wall has collapsed again and the repair will probably cost 1 lakh or more.
This time I asked both my sisters if they could contribute something. I clearly told them it does not have to be an equal split and that I will take the major share. I also said I will continue paying my parents monthly expenses.

My husband feels I should not have asked because they are my parents, my sisters do not earn and we are in a position to afford it.

But I feel a little different. I really do not mind helping my parents and I will continue doing it. I just feel that major expenses should not automatically become my responsibility just because I am the only one earning. I feel all 3 of us should contribute based on what each family can manage.

My sisters said they have financial commitments too but they can contribute a little.

Now I am sitting here wondering if I should have even asked them in the first place. AITAH?