Thank you all for every comment. Supportive and critical, I read each and every one and heard you. Leo especially.

He was pretty shocked, but recognized that a lot of what he read wasn't inaccurate and admitted he didnt realize that he was doing so much harm. We are going to therapy together next month, we've booked the date already.

We decided that it would be me so I broke the silence to reach out to my MIL. I sent her one, very non-emotional (I hope) message. It read exactly as shown below. Leo stand much more firmly with me now I believe and we have united in agreeing that the children matter most and the very real risk of his family saying poisonous things is not something either of us are willing to take.

Names below are changed for privacy reasons, but the real name was used in the text.

<---------->

Hi *MIL*,

*Leo* let me know you were hoping to see the children during his upcoming parenting time. We will not be arranging a visit at this time.

As the parents, our priority is providing a healthy environment for the children. To protect their emotional well-being, we have a strict boundary against them being exposed to open criticism or disrespect toward either of their parents. Because this boundary has been repeatedly crossed in front of the children, we cannot trust that a neutral environment will be maintained.

Visits will remain on hold until we see a sustained, positive change in how our family is treated. Moving forward, all further inquiries, updates, or communication regarding this matter must be directed to *Leo*.

Please do not contact me directly about this moving forward.

<---------->

Thank you all again. I feel our family is going to do well with our newfound unity and peace.

I (19M) am home from college for the summer and living with my parents. I’m spending the summer working, saving money, and hanging out with friends who are still in town.
Yesterday I was at a friend’s house playing video games. When I went outside to leave, I walked up to my truck and saw that it had been completely ransacked. All four doors were wide open, the hood was popped halfway open, the tailgate was down, and the bed cover was flipped up.
I live in a really nice, safe neighborhood, so I never expected anything like that to happen. I immediately checked my dash cam while pulling out my phone to call the police. That’s when I realized that about 30 minutes earlier, my parents had come by and done it themselves. I told the dispatcher it was a false alarm since nothing had actually been stolen.
Then today I went to the grocery store to buy food for the week. Coincidentally, my parents were there too. After they left, they sent me a picture of my truck with all the doors open, the hood popped, and everything “ransacked” again. They then came back into the store and started arguing with me in the middle of the aisle, saying I spend too much money on groceries (I spent less than $100 for the entire week) and that I shouldn’t leave my truck unlocked.
At that point I just walked away. They got mad at me for leaving them there, even though we had driven separately.
So here’s my question: WIBTA if I started leaving their car doors open in the driveway or in parking lots? Part of me feels like if they can dish it out, they should be able to take it. On the other hand, I know it would probably just escalate things, so I’m not sure.

My wedding is at the end of August. We sent our save the dates about 7ish months in advance, then followed up with invitations about 4ish months before the wedding. We're having a small wedding with around 50 guests (mostly close friends and family) and everyone knew the timeline well ahead of time.

On both our invitation and wedding website, we included an RSVP deadline along with an FAQ section. One of the FAQs was whether guests could bring a plus one, and we clearly stated that anyone with a plus one would have it indicated on their invitation and invited the plus one’s of the few close friends we had attending (and we knew about). Almost everyone RSVP'd before the deadline, and nobody had any issues or questions. The only messages we got were people saying they loved the invitations, the website, and were excited for the wedding.

One of my fiancé's friends, I'll call him B, was very late RSVPing and honestly just unresponsive in general. We reached out to him about five times because my fiancé
wanted him there and we kept a seat open for him even after we confirmed our numbers with the venue, hoping he'd eventually respond.

Well, today, two weeks after the RSVP deadline, hefinally replied and said he's coming. Then he asked my fiancé if he could bring his girlfriend. We had no idea he was even seeing someone. He tends to date people for a few months at a time, but if he had mentioned her anytime over the last several months, I honestly would've been open to inviting her.

Since we locked in our numbers, I told my fiancé to respond with something like, "I wish you had told me earlier. We had to give our final numbers to the venue on the X date, and they're locked in now. If anything changes I'll let you know, but we're at capacity."

Now B is insisting on bringing his girlfriend anyway, saying he was working in Brazil and didn't know. That explanation doesn't really sit right with me. My fiancé texted him our wedding website several times asking him to RSVP, and we could see that he'd read the messages. He was also active on social media during that time, so it feels like he had wifi to send a quick text or even mention that he had a girlfriend he'd want to bring.

My fiancé wants to budge and see if we can include her, but I'm honestly pretty offended. Not only did he miss the RSVP deadline, not only did he ignore five texts, not only did he have around six months to mention he was seeing someone, but now he's being persistent after we've already said no. The audacity is what's getting to me.

AITAH if I insist his girlfriend can't come? And AITAH if I tell our planner that if B shows up with his girlfriend anyway, she should turn her away?

I used to help my neighbor a lot. I drove her grocery shopping and even borrowed a different car so I could take her mom to the hospital because my own car only has two seats.
A few years ago, after my toxic ex threatened to break into my apartment, I bought a security camera. Since I didn’t have internet yet, I asked my neighbor if I could temporarily use her Wi-Fi so the camera would work. I explained the situation and how scared I was.
She said she didn’t want to get involved. We didn’t speak for the next two years.

We’ve only recently started talking again, well she started, I am just being polite. This evening, she called because the person who was supposed to drive her and her cat to the vet tomorrow canceled last minute. I technically could help, but it would also mean waiting with her (for 1-2 hours the cat gets teeth surgery) and spending time together, acting like nothing happened, and I’m not that shallow of a person. I don’t really want to.
Part of me feels guilty because it was a last-minute cancellation and I know she’s in a difficult situation. But another part of me feels used. When I really needed someone, she wasn’t there for me and we never talked about that.

I know she didn’t owe me anything, but I think I don’t owe her anything either. If I were the one asking for help tomorrow, I genuinely don’t believe she’d do the same for me.
AITA if I tell her I’m not available, even though I probably could make it work?

EDIT: I forgot to mention that my ex threatened to break in just to kill my dog. I’m not scared of loosing material stuff.
I told her I have a meeting and I’m busy, now she asked me if I can make some time next week. I said I have to look into my calendar. A taxi to the vet and back would be around 150€ and she makes only 1.300€ a month. She said she can’t and I told her about uber and she said she never heard of uber. Also I am not sure if uber is available in our area

My bf(26) and I f(27) were planning on moving in together next year, but he told me I need to leave my cat with my mom. I’ve had my cat for 6 years now since she was a baby. He claims he doesn’t like animals and that cats shed and leave hair everywhere. He said if I keep the cat with me, we would never live together. If I’m being honest, he’s always said he didn’t want animals living in a place he stays since we’ve been together and I honestly didn’t think it would be a deal breaker. We’ve been together for 8 years but I find it hard to part ways with my baby. I tried to compromise and tell him she wouldn’t be allowed in the bedroom but he mentioned the kitchen and the couch and it’s breaking my heart. I feel like I have to choose between my cat or him.

EDIT: I got my cat when we broke up and we got back together in a couple of months. I didn’t get her out of spite. Let’s clear that up.

TW: child abuse, family conflict

Summary cause its long:
My wifes mom and her brother came to stay with us for 3 months for first time ever. We live in different country. Her brother is 45 and is on wheelchair. He and my wife always fought a lot even on phone. During the stay he was nice to everyone except my wife, always putting her down. My wife confronted him about him abusing her when they were kids - she told her mom about it 5 years back already. Then during a fight he just blurted it out loud in front of everyone like sorry for raping you what more you want. I had no idea about any of this till then. I booked them on early flight back. I told my wife she should cut him off completely and that I resent her mom for bringing him to our house knowing everything. Now my wife keeps saying it’s her fault and she should not have confronted him.

Full post
I really need to vent cause I'm just so angry and confused right now.

My wifes mom and her brother came to stay with us for 3 months. Its first time anyone from her family visited after marriage. I live in different country from them. I was against 3 months from start cause I know my wife and her brother fight like crazy, like full screaming fights on phone. But I said ok for my wife.
Her brother is 45, paraplegic, wheelchair since an accident years ago. He is on disability income and also tutors children on the side.

From day 1 I noticed this weird thing - he is super charming with me, with everyone, helpful and nice. But with my wife he is just so nasty. Comments on her job, her confidence, everything. Like he enjoys putting her down.

My wife started therapy recently and one day when it was just them she confronted him about when they were kids. She was a little kid, he was a teenager and he used to rub against her when sleeping multiple times. She told her mom about this 5 years ago.

Then we all had this big argument together and out of nowhere he just snaps and starts shouting and coming towards her saying sorry for raping you as a child and being mean what else you want for forgiveness. He used that word, not her. I was just frozen, I had no clue about any of this before that second. His mom started crying and telling him to leave and he pushed her as well.

I asked him later do you even feel sorry and he goes yes sorry but what is solution now how to solve this. Like its some quick fix problem. He is 45 ffs.

After that he started doing this thing where he tries to make me and his mom feel like my wife is the problem, she is depressed she needs medicine she is failure etc. This is exactly what my dad used to do to my mom and it triggered me so bad.

I just lost it and booked them both on early flight. I said you need to leave. I told my wife I'm done I will never have any contact with him again and honestly she should cut ties too for her own healing. And I told her mom I resent her for bringing him to my house to stay for 3 months when she knew what he did 5 years ago.

Now my wife is just blaming herself, saying she should not have confronted him and this fight would not have happened.

I feel like shit cause I see how much this childhood stuff has messed with her confidence and body image all her life and she is such an amazing woman. But I'm also so fuming at her mom. Like how do you know your daughter was abused and you still bring him to our house and make us host him for 3 months?
I told them I wont have any contact with him going forward. I know cutting ties is her call not mine but I can't have him in my life or house again.

AITAH for telling my wife to cut ties with him and for resenting her mom for bringing him here knowing everything?

I (25f) have been hiking, rock climbing, and travelling for the past couple of years. My sister Leah (20f) said she wanted to get into hiking and do a trip together. I was excited at the idea but told her she'd have to do some hikes to build some endurance and be in good shape for a hiking trip so that she would enjoy her time. She lives about 7 hours away from mountains while I live a couple hours away. She came up to visit me and did 4 hikes and loved it - great!

Now we are trying to pick a destination and all of a sudden she thinks she is a professional mountaineer and traveler who will only go to the most exotic destinations in the world. I've suggested the Azores in Portugal (our family comes from the Azores so I though that would be a good idea) but thats too basic. Lofoten Islands in Norway are also too basic because its in the continent of Europe and thats not cool enough. Ok, so I suggest Thailand and again that is also not cool enough. She wants to go to Socotra Yemen or Kyrgyzstan. She has only ever traveled to England as a 10 year old so I said I don't think that's a great idea and that she needs to lower her expectations a bit.

Today I see that she purchased an ice axe. At this point I am loosing my mind a little but because somehow after 4 hikes, Leah thinks she is a professional traveler and mountaineer now despite the fact that I tried to take her rock climbing and she could not make it up the easiest walls. How she thinks she is going to ice climb and where she plans on doing this (she'd need to get on a plane to get to a mountain with ice climbing) is beyond me. By now i'm pretty frustrated because she has no idea what she's even doing and is not living in reality. I responded and told her that she needs to be a bit more realistic as she doesn't have the money, experience/knowledge, skill, or fitness to go ice climbing. She also clearly has not done any research because if she had she'd see that most people rent mountaineering supplies if they are going to ice climb as its very expensive and also difficult to transport. Leah freaked out and says i'm too negative, she's blocking me from her stories, and she's an adult so she can do whatever she wants.

AITAH for telling Leah that she's not being realistic?

Edit to provide the transcripts:

I responded to her story of the ice axe saying "Leah who do you think you are"

to which she said "idk why youre so fucking negative. Im not even going to try and make my point here, its fucking useless with you. U fucking shit on everything I do. idk why you think you have a say in what I do im not a fuckign child leave me the fuck alone.

i said "you arent living in reality. You've been on like 5 hikes and dont even know how to rock climb. If you did ice climbing you would rent the gear anyawy because its really expensive and difficult to transport. Im literally trying to help you because you dont know what you're doing"

To also give more context about why she said im so negative and I shit on everything she does - its because ive told her I don't like the new guy shes seeing because he has been caught in multiple lies, been posessive, and constantly stands her up.

I (24M) wrote my girlfriend (21F) a custom choose-your-own-adventure novel (around 430 pages) for our anniversary. Each chapter also has a drawing tied to it that I made myself. She’s the main character, there are multiple endings depending on the choices she makes, and I spent a lot of time writing and pouring my heart into it.

It’s now been about 7 months, and she still hasn’t finished it. To be fair, I completely understood why she didn’t read much since we’re in college and during the semester she was busy with finals, and had recently been diagnosed with depression and major anxiety. I’ve been supporting her as best I can and I never expected her to prioritize my book over school. What has been bothering me is that it’s now summer. She works a part-time job, but she has several days off each week, has been in a much better mood, and has continued going to her therapist, but she still hasn’t finished it.

I know everyone reads at their own pace, and I don’t think she’s obligated to finish it by a certain date. Still, I can’t help feeling hurt because I poured so much love and effort into something that was made specifically for her.
I eventually told her yesterday that I felt a little sad that she still hadn’t finished reading it. I was careful not to accuse her of anything or say she was a bad girlfriend. I just wanted to be honest about how I was feeling.
She immediately started crying and said that if I felt that way, then I must think she doesn’t love me enough. I told her that wasn’t what I meant at all. I don’t think she loves me any less. I was only trying to express that I felt hurt that something so meaningful to me still hadn’t been finished after all this time.

The conversation ended with me comforting her and reassuring her that she could read it at her own pace. We hugged, and things were okay afterward. The only thing that’s still bothering me is that it felt like my original concern never really got addressed. Once she became upset, the conversation shifted entirely to comforting her, and I ended up feeling like my feelings were left on the sidelines. So, AITA for feeling hurt about this in the first place?

EDIT: I forgot to mention that she’s told me before that the idea of someone writing her a book was really romantic. She also really loves choose your own adventure games. We play them together often, such as Until Dawn, Detroit Become Human, and The Quarry. I also understand that 430 pages is a lot 😅 but that’s if you follow all possible endings. The average ending is around 130 pages. Sorry for not bringing it before.

My mother (72F) lives in my (45F) home with me, my husband (50M) and our son (21M). Mom has lived with us for 11 years now, we bought our house 7 years ago but she moved in with us when we were still in an apartment. We offered her to stay with us then after a VERY LONG series of bad financial decisions on her part that led to her filing bankruptcy and not effectively holding down a job. We did not ask her for any money while we were still in the apartment, just asked her to pick up some groceries occasionally. We gave up our master bedroom with private bathroom in the apartment so she wouldn't have to share a bathroom with our son at the time.

When we were getting ready to buy a house, a full year out, we asked her before we even started looking if she was planning to continue staying with us or not. We all discussed and agreed that if she was staying with us when we moved, then we needed some contribution from her because we needed to build an emergency fund and some savings. I had been covering all the expenses but it was unreasonable for us to do that forever. She agreed. By this time she was working again and she had 4 years to save money and stabilize. She said she wanted to stay with us, so she was invited to participate in the house shopping process.

We went with a new build and came down to two options IF she was staying with us: a 3 bed/3 bath with an open den, but the bathrooms were not attached to the bedrooms, or what we chose - a 4 bed/3 bath with ensuite bathrooms - one being a "jack and jill" connecting my son's room to the smallest room, which is my office. Mom has an entire quarter that's entirely hers. If she was not going to stay with us, we were going to go with a 3/2 instead. Mom liked the one we purchased best, but it was a significant price jump as the square footage difference was significant. When I ran the numbers, we agreed on $500 per month from her.

Well, we made the deposit, waited a year for the build, finally moved in and money was not forthcoming from her. She did contribute to some new house expenses - around $2000 total that we did NOT ask her for, just things she decided to buy "for the house". After 9 months I sat down with her and said we appreciated the house items, but as we talked about we did need her to contribute the $500 each month.

It went fine for a while but then she secretly racked up a ton of debt again (on her own, I have no idea on what, all on credit cards) And she started getting passive aggressive and making little resentful comments that she couldn't do things because she had no money. I didn't know about the debt at the time because she is not transparent and hides things. It has only gotten worse over time and as she's gotten older. She's now retired but her retirement income alone is almost equal what I make in a month. She has no expenses other than her debts and what she buys for herself.

We pay for her phone and tablet - we added her to our family plan and her share is about $75/month. We buy all the groceries and there is plenty of everything, she only needs to buy something if it's a food the rest of us wouldn't eat or buy. She wanted Netflix and paid for it for 6 months and then her card kept declining so we took it over. She wanted a new mattress, we replaced her whole set. We don't ask for help with utilities or anything else. She does let us use her car because ours died unexpectedly and I can't take on another car payment right now, but we rarely use it as I work from home and we don't go out often. The mortgage payment has gone up substantially in the last 7 years due to taxes and insurance increases. I've never asked for an extra cent from her.

But every month it's like pulling teeth to get her to contribute. She also doesn't lift a finger around the house, including cleaning her own messes (like dishes). I know she has also complained to her friends and some family members that we "charge her rent". I don't know why she thinks she should just get a free ride from me. We've had a difficult relationship since I was a teenager but I'm an only child and I didn't want to see my mom end up homeless. She's also had health issues and there's no one else to look out for her.

I don't think I am, but I'm starting to feel like I'm taking crazy pills with how she's acting about it. AITAH for charging my mother $500 a month rent/room and board?

My partner and I eloped last year after dating about a year. We'd agreed from the very beginning of our relationship that we didn't want a big wedding, and it also would've been too expensive. For months we'd heard secondhand that extended family was upset/disappointed about the elopement and felt snubbed. We took that seriously and felt genuinely bad about it.

A while back we attended a family reunion of sorts and went in braced for people to be cold or upset with us. Instead, multiple people went out of their way to say they were actually glad we eloped (weddings are expensive), that they were happy for us, and that they liked me... a few seemed almost surprised, like they'd expected me to be difficult or unpleasant and were relieved I wasn't. A relative also told me, unprompted, that my partner's mom regularly calls them to complain about our marriage, and that they have told her to knock it off and mind her own business.

After the event drove my partner drove her home. In the car, she told my partner that she doesn't like me, that they don't really know me, and that I'm amazing in public but I must be "different" behind the scenes than I seem in person like evil or manipulative, essentially. My partner pushed back hard and said how I have changed his whole outlook on life and brought up a lot of history that she'd never supported their career choice, had actively tried to talk them out of it and even gotten other people to "pray" they'd change their mind, and had held them back from pursuing it when they were younger. They also brought up that she'd told them directly she was upset when she was pregnant with them, purely because of their gender and because she hadn't expected to be pregnant at all. She got defensive and upset, said things like "I guess I'm just a terrible mother."

Since then, my partner says they feel relieved in a weird way like something got confirmed instead of them wondering if they were imagining it. We've decided to stay outwardly kind to her going forward, but I'm done pretending I don't know what's actually going on, and I don't feel obligated to keep trying to win her approval or hide or push their relationship now that I know she talks about me behind my back and would treat her child that way.

Some people in my life think I should just let it go / stay quiet / not "escalate" since she's sad and lonely. AITA for not just going along with the peacekeeping performance anymore?

My husband has been a big survivor fan for years and he dreams of going on Survivor this coming cycle. AITAH for not being supportive of this dream - our first child is 3 and our second child is on the way in January, so if he gets selected then I assume baby will be a maybe 5-6 months old since it happens in summertime.

I am concerned about his health with the starvation, his allergies, his eczema, sun exposure. As a dentist, I’m also not a fan of him not having a toothbrush or toothpaste. Honestly also scared that something will happen to him on this adventure when we’re so far away. He says no one has died on survivor so far, but there’s certainly people who have had to be medically evacuated.

I know it’s hard to get on the show so it’s not like he is a shoe in if he applies, but AITAH for not being supportive of this dream. I’m sure it’ll be a “once in a lifetime” experience and that he’ll be immersing himself into a game and world that he loves. But, we will literally have a baby and I will have returned to full time work by then… Thanks in advance for reading and any advice appreciated!

So let me preface this that I view money in marriage as joint. My money is her money and her money is my money.

I work and my wife is a SAHM with our 1 year old son. I recently got a new job and have finally been able to save money each month. We have debts like student loans and a car loan and our mortgage but my monthly income ends with about $3k extra each month after all our debts and expenses. We have about 20k saved and about 150k in retirement at the age of 30.

Just painting a picture of our finances because I'm asking about money. I know I'm super lucky in this economy. So here's the question.

I want to buy a 3D printer that costs $750 but my wife does not want us to spend that money as she wants to violently save as much as we can to buy a bigger house for a second kid.

I want to do this as a hobby and I feel like I have a right to spend some money. The thing is she doesn't splurg at all so she isn't being hypocritical. She says she would want a new purse for that much too but doesn't get it.

I get this is privileged to ask and some of you will say "you make enough to live I'd be happy in life just having that" but this question is more about if I'm being an ass to my wife if I buy this printer anyway without her approval.

Edit: thank you all for your responses. I'm not used to more than like 5 comments on my posts! Appreciate the advice. My wife has found this post and is making fun of me for the ratio. She did agree to a "fun" budget so time to do some more research into the continuing costs!

Our garage is completely full, to the point it is unusable as a garage or to store literally a single other thing, and the thing is, none of it is ours, not one thing, it's my mother-in-law's hoarding and she doesn't even live with us. It's holiday decorations she hasn't needed or used in a decade at this point. When I ask her and my wife to go through it neither my wife or her mother seem to have any interest in clearing it out. I even said "I'll be the bad guy, I'll be the one who calls a trash clean-up" because it's ALL trash. Things nobody has even looked at in so long nobody actually knows what's in there. This isn't a mess I let happen, I moved into my wife's house and the mess was already here. The past two time the two of them promised to clean it the first time they spent the entire day playing VR games, the next time they "worked hard on a corner" which amounted to a single trip to the convenience center. The best reply I get from either of them is they want to go through it. Again, it's nothing either of them have wanted or needed for over a decade and I just think it's time for it to go. I'm at a point where I might need to spend money on storage because I have a garage I cannot use full of shit. AITAH if I put a timeline on this being removed before I have it removed?

I (27F) and my now fiancée (27M) got engaged this past Christmas after being together for 11 years. For context, my mother for the majority of our relationship (we started dating at 15) was very unkind to him and treated him poorly since he did not come from a wealthy family. She had her own vision for my life that I have not followed and I feel like she partially blames him and his family, who have accepted me as one of their own for years now, and is obviously jealous of the relationship I have with my future MIL. I’ve always been used to my mother essentially being a bully to me my whole life, and it no longer bothers me after the growth I’ve done in the last 5 or so years. The straw that has broken the camels back for me came this past weekend after going dress shopping with my MIL and SIL after my parents moved down south last month. We’re getting married May of next year and I was told that I had to find my dress sooner in the planning process since it can take a long time to arrive and alter. The majority of my immediate family moved south so none of them were able to be there for the appointment but I included them as much as possible with FaceTime and photos. My mother was aware of my appointment and every time I tried to call her she didn’t answer. Long story short I found my dress in that appointment and after telling her that information she proceeded to blow up my phone, whilst the workers are trying to take my measurements and go over ordering and so on, and get angry at me for finding my dress as she wanted me to go dress shopping during my visit the next month and find it there. What was supposed to be a moment of happiness and celebration turned to an argument.

Now onto my brother. He is 8 years older than me, got married in 2022 (I dropped out and did not attend-went to Disney world with my bf and sister instead after him and his now wife were not happy being called out for lying about skipping my college graduation for “camping” when they actually didn’t go and just skipped out for no reason). I do not have a good or close relationship with my brother after that, and I especially try to avoid his wife at all costs to avoid drama. They are the kind of people who try to make everything about them, and are very clearly the most performative and fake people. Her family is also extremely racist and transphobic (my sister is trans) and they have no respect for other people.

I want to enjoy my wedding and be able to be present in the moment and not worrying about my mother or brother causing problems by making the day about them or start some stupid rumors as they’ve done in the past, but my fiancée worries that uninviting them would cause more problems and be something I regret. AITAH if I uninvite them?

I (33F) and my partner 'Leo' (37M) have 3 children, one from my previous relationship and two with Leo. Leo sees all 3 as his and we are in the process of him adopting our eldest girl.

Leo's family has always had a problem with me. For context, his sister and mother are the main antagonists of this post. Both women have been pretty consistent in treating me poorly and usually in ways that most men wouldn't catch. A venom-filled statement here, and accusatory whisper to me when Leo leaves the room. His mother backs off slightly why he notices, but not his sister.

The bigger issues I've had with them include, but are definitely not limited to:

1. Them hosting an intervention for him while I was pregnant with our first to try to convince him that I had either cheated or got pregnant to force him to support me. To this day they work into casual conversation about how they would help him when he finally decides to leave me.
2. My MIL calling my grief disgusting... in front of my children... at a fancy restaurant... for Christmas dinner... that I had paid for entirely. The grief she was referring to? I had a miscarriage during our second pregnancy and decided to name and bury my angel baby beneath a tree od the same name.
3. My SIL announcing loudly at a family gathering that she doesn't think we are caring for our autistic son's needs properly. We are doing everything we can and his doctors agree that we are already going above and beyond. Shortly after that she insisted that our children will never matter as much as her friends' children will.

Leo and I agreed that, even though I'm personally going no contact, he should still bring the children to visit. However, he doesn't visit much at all for two reasons. Firstly, because our 3 children are quite a handful alone and his family says they are there to visit not babysit so he has a hard time being there with them without me. Secondly, though more importantly, he hates how they treat me and had cut contact until they can be better towards me. I say had because that recently changed.

He is planning to take the children to his mother's this coming weekend. I told him to have fun (not in a sarcastic way) and that I'll be home cleaning up and taking a rest. Now he's conflicted because he wants me to come, but I really don't feel supported or respected in that house.

So reddit, AITA for going no contact with my in-laws? Should I just suck it up like a couple of my friends have suggested? I'll try to answer any questions I can to clear things up if I need to.

My (M37) parents separated 3 years ago, they are both in their 60's and had been married for nearly 40 years. And then he confessed to my mother that he'd been having an affair for two years, and that was the end of it.

My brothers (aged 35, 33, and 31) and I have tried to be supportive and understanding of both our parents. None of us supported the affair, but we did respect our father's right to happiness. But as the process of the separation of assets dragged on things got messy. Communication broke down, my mother lost all trust, and my dad stopped bothering to consider or respect her boundaries.

In an effort to avoid having to bring the separation to the courts and wasting fistfuls of money my brothers and I became much more directly involved in mediating between the two of them and my father was certainly the most difficult to deal with. Constantly shifting goal posts and always pushing just to get that little bit more for himself. The separation was only finalised a few months ago, taking almost three years. I haven't actually talked to my father since Christmas, having recognised that I needed to take some space from him before our relationship truly collapsed.

My mum is doing well. Her strength and resilience has been awe inspiring, what she's been through would of broken me with ease. We've all been there for her giving all the support we can. And now that she has complete control of her finances she's finally free to move on with her life.

I want to state here that my father was a good parent. He loved us all and raised us well. He also genuinely loved my mother for most of their marriage. They were the couple that their friends aspired to be. It was only as he began to transition towards retirement that things became more distant between them. I don't resent either of my parents for the end of their marriage. I just want them both to be happy. Where I struggle is with his affair and treatment of my mother over the last 3 years. About a year ago I asked him directly if he respected my mother and he pointedly avoided answering the question.

Now with all of that preamble out of the way we can get to the actual point.

My father is still dating the woman (idk her age but she's at least in her 50's no age shenanigans here) he cheated on my mother with. He has been bringing her to get togethers with his friends and his family. This has caused friction with some of his friends that he blames on my mother. His siblings have seeming happily accepted her with open arms, but at least my cousins are very uncomfortable with it. Two of my brothers tolerate her presence for the sake of politeness and being able to attend family events. My other brother and I have been clear we want nothing to do with her.

Initially I thought I just needed time and space to process things. That eventually I might be able to reach some level of understanding. But I don't think I can. It's not that I can't accept my father being with someone who isn't my mother, it's her specifically I have a problem with. The best case scenario I can see is that I treat her with the same amount of respect my father has shown my mother over the last 3 years which is not a lot. And that's the best case. The likely scenario is much worse.

She's moving in with my father now. Not the home I was raised in, but the home my parents moved into together after they sold the family home. And I don't even want to return there now. I still have some belongings sitting in a closet somewhere. At some point I'll probably have to ask one of my brothers to grab it for me. When I last talked to him my father he was pushing to have me meet her. I told him I'd have to think about it. I told him that it wouldn't be easy.

For Christmas dinner we've always had a tradition that everyone cooks and brings something for the meal. My father asked if he could be on dessert. He brought a cake the she had cooked. He didn't mention that until after we'd finished our slices and all complimented him on his efforts. That was the last straw for me.

TL;DR: My parents split after 40 years because my father had an affair. He's still with his mistress and wants her to be included as part of the family. AITAH for not wanting anything to do with her?

EDIT: A few things to clarify.

1. I am angry with my father. I do hold him responsible for his actions. It is going to take a great deal of time and effort to repair that relationship. Even if it is repaired, it will never be the same as it once was.
2. Both of my parents are responsible for the end of their marriage. My father and his "affair partner" are responsible for it ending in the manner it did.
3. I don't want to go out of my way to attack, belittle, or otherwise besmirch my fathers AP. But I know I will struggle mask how I feel about her if I ever meet in her person. I don't want to go through that. Not just myself but for everyone who will be involved in such an encounter.
4. The AP did know that my father was married. She was a part of their social circle. I never knew her personally. She was not close with my mother. The values I was raised with mean I do harbour a bias against people who knowingly insert them selves into a pre-existing relationship and people who start a new relationship before ending the old one. I know that relationships can get messy and not everyone is perfect, but I don't think it's the right way to go about it.
5. I am willing to give my father a chance because he is my father. He was a good father, he raised me and my brothers with kindness, and has always been there for us. I'm not ready to lose that just yet no matter how furious I currently am with him. I have no desire to extend that same grace to his AP because I don't know her. There is no pre-existing relationship and I have no desire to try and create one with her.

I’ve known this friend for the majority of my life, so there’s a lot of context here, but I’ll do my best. I (23M) got married last year to my partner (23NB) who has been my rock for the last 6 years since we met. We have an extremely happy relationship, and I credit them with making sure I didn’t go down a very bad path. Ever since we’ve been together, we’ve spent a ton of time with my childhood best friend (24F), to the point where we at one point discussed all living together.
Last week, my best friend came over and confessed some really heavy stuff to both of us, including some really difficult mental health struggles, but she also came out and said she resents my marriage (the implication is because it took me away from her). She also a couple of months ago got drunk with us and claimed she was in love with BOTH of us, which I gently shut down at the time. Nothing came of that at the time, and now I’m wondering if it was just an attempt to get my attention?
This friend is someone who I love a lot, but she’s also an addict who has a way of destabilizing my life at key moments, and it really bothers me that she resents my marriage and my spouse. I’m happy for the first time in my life, and it feels like she’s terrified of that because she equates it with losing me. These last few years of friendship have been an absolute roller coaster of me desperately trying to preserve her safety and her swinging wildly between anger and neediness towards me. At this point she won’t be seeing my spouse in small groups or at our home for a while, because she really really upset them by coming out with all of this. In talking about that with my spouse, it made me wonder if I also need some space from this friend. Do I need to enforce some distance for her sake so she can find her footing without me? Am I just being bullied by this person at this point? We haven’t had similar maturity levels in a while, and sometimes she just gets so cruel and I can’t tell what her “true” feelings are or what opinion she’ll settle on. Please help :( I don’t want my friend to resent my marriage but I’ve carved out a large space in my life for her and I can’t continue to bend the knee to her every whim

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 1.5 years. Like any couple, we’ve had our fair share of fights and misunderstandings, but there is one recurring argument we can't seem to get past: he loves to point out that I am a "cheapskate."

Here is the reality: I don't think I am. We both have decently paying jobs, but we certainly aren't rich. We talk a lot about our future and wanting to buy a home someday, which obviously means we need to actively save money.

The main reason he calls me a cheapskate is that I don't treat him to dinner very often, and I usually prefer to split the bill equally. Before I met him, I just wasn't a big spender. I genuinely prefer cooking my own meals because I think the food is better, and it’s undeniably cheaper. Which I think is a win win.

My boyfriend, on the other hand, doesn't mind dropping £200 on dinner for two. To be honest, I think that is way too much for a single meal. He prefers the "vibe" and atmosphere of going to a restaurant.

In my opinion, he is a spendthrift, and he has actually acknowledged this himself. A while ago, he even made a spreadsheet to track his spending and figure out how to cut back, but that only lasted about two months before he completely gave up on it.

I really don't mind eating out, doing fun activities, and spending money, but he wants to do this 2 to 3 times a week. I would much rather keep it down to just once a week.

My reasoning is simple: we aren't rich, and we need to save as much as we can for our future. His argument is that we need "balance" because life is unpredictable and we can't just hoard our money.

You see what I mean? We just keep going in circles. How can we get on the same page, or are we just financially incompatible?

So my brother and SIL are having a baby next month, they both have jobs so they’re planning to have her over our house and they implied they want me to take care of her and clean her…etc. even my mom telling me I have to learn how to take care of a baby, but I said no to them, I’m still afraid soon it might cause more problems if I kept saying no because I don’t want to disturb anyone’s peace or have problems with my family.

I just graduated from hs and as I’m trying to get in college I’m still at my mom’s house, I’m afraid I might not get accepted to the college I want so then I would have to stay home and have a lot of free time which would make it justified for me to babysit her.

I have no interests in babies, even if they were my nieces or nephews I can treat them well and stuff but I don’t have interest in taking care of them for hours or days.

My boyfriend works long hours as a blue collar worker. We sometimes don’t see each other for days because our work schedules don’t align. Because of this, we have a difficult time with intimacy. My boyfriend is a “physical touch” kind of guy. He always tells me that he cannot satisfy himself without me because he loves me so much. He doesn’t do anything unless we are together.

The thing is, I can’t wait days to satisfy myself. I personally do when he’s not home, but always think of him. He has told me in the past that he wants to be there when I do, and has expressed sadness if we do not share the intimacy together. I never promised anything though.

Well yesterday, I decided to pleasure myself when he was not home. He came home early and walked into our bedroom and surprised me. He seemed genuinely upset, like he wished I had waited until we were together. I personally did not feel like it was a big deal, and we got into an argument. I don’t think he needs to give me permission to satisfy myself. But I also feel bad because I haven’t been as intimate with him bc of our schedules and my energy levels. We talked about it and seem to have different opinions and never can meet in the middle. AITAH?

I can’t even believe I’m posting here, but here I am. I’ve been stewing for 5 hours now. So here it is. Went to the pool this evening. We are at the baby pool as I have two young kids (4 year old and my 3 year old…just turned 3 last week). My 4 year old has some behavioral issues but was playing so nicely with my 3 year old. They were minding their business and it was honestly the first time I sat around the pool in a chair, relaxing and not having to jump up to intervene. I’m on high alert all the time making sure there is not too much splashing it commotion. A mom comes with her 3 year old (I find out she is 3 later…that will come). The woman’s daughter was so sweet…looking for kids to play with and my two were the only in the baby pool at that time. She kept going up to my kids and saying, “hi, hi, Hi.” The HI’s went on for at least ten minutes. My kids were just splashing around. Mom kept saying to Daughter, “come back to me they don’t want to play.” This was while Mom was sitting on edge of baby pool. My 4 year old kindly asked for space (Mom didn’t hear that). This is something we worked on a lot to get to the point of asking for space and not just lashing out. My 3 year old is oblivious and just enjoying the pool. 5 minutes later, Mom says to her Daughter verbatim, “just remember that not all kids have parents who teach them manners.” I sat there thinking if I should just walk away but ultimately, I walked over and told her that was so freaking rude. She didn’t have to make a dig at me while trying to teach her Daughter a lesson. My husband was across in the big pool with our kids when I confronted her. I was not yelling or making a scene but wanted to make my point clear that was so rude. She told me that her Daughter is 3 and would never ignore another child that tried to play with her but would kindly say no thank you. She told me I’m the reason my kids have no manners. I was in disbelief. My kids were minding their own business. She commented that my kids don’t listen because when I told them to say hi to her Daughter when she kept coming over to them, they didn’t listen. Well why didn’t her Daughter listen when told that my kids didn’t want to play with her. We have worked so hard on 4 years olds behavior (we hired a Behavioral specialist)and they were so good at the pool tonight. Being told I’m a shitty mom really broke me. I feel like kids will be kids but apparently a 4 and 3 year old should act better. My husband is supportive but acts differently in those situations and said I would have been better off just not approaching her and letting her comment go. I’m so in my head about this. I also feel like someone was filming this altercation and it’s going to end up on a neighborhood page.

Hi. My parents are divorced, so my mom (46F) has now been dating this guy (50M) for about 6 months. She introduced me (16F) to him two weeks ago, and I've now gone out with them twice. The problem is they baby talk in a horribly embarrassing way, like loudly speaking like a toddler to each other in public (and often in front of me.)

The baby talk was already embarrassing before I met him because she called and texted him all day, and frankly behaved like a middle school girl with her first crush. While on the phone, she called him "my little baby boy", "my lovey dovey love" (I wish I was joking) or something along those lines, and always spoke in a typical toddler-like voice.

Anyway, I thought they wouldn't be like that in public, but they are. We went out for ice cream the first time and this was genuinely her with him while they were in front of me. He even spoon fed her ice cream and said "here you go, my baby" multiple times with the annoying baby voice again while I talked. I have no problem with my mom dating at all, and I don't have any problems with the guy as a person either, but I genuinely can't bear the embarrassment because I just don't want to see that. There's nothing wrong with being cringe and silly with your partner to show affection, but like this? In front of someone? They were like this the second time too, and I genuinely felt disgusted.

Today, she asked me if I wanted to go out for ice cream with them again and I declined. She asked why and I was honest. I told her I found the way they talked embarrassing and that I wasn't willing to go out with them if they behaved that way. She was upset, told me I shouldn't be an asshole and refuse to go out because of "a small thing like that." She said I wouldn't understand since I've never dated anybody. AITAH?

Update:

Thank you to everyone who commented on my original post.

We ultimately agreed to part ways with the business and try to preserve the friendship. Unfortunately, the criticism of me continued.

A few days ago, a young child arrived at my house unattended, asked to come inside to see my cats, and reached through my window. I live in a security estate and had no idea who her mother was, so I posted in the community group to find her family and raise the safety concern.

Her mother had been asleep and had not realised her daughter had slipped out. She was incredibly grateful that the community helped find her. The conversation then expanded because other residents shared that this wasn't the first time toddlers had been seen wandering around the estate unattended.

My friend publicly commented on the post saying that what I had done was inappropriate and that I needed to respect parents. She later messaged me privately saying that, as a mother, she would have been "highly ticked off" if someone had handled the situation the way I did and that I should have gone directly to the child's mother instead of posting publicly.

The problem was that I couldn't go directly to the child's mother because I had no idea who she was. Finding her was the entire reason I made the post.

What surprised me even more was the community's response. Nobody agreed with my friend. Instead, several people reached out to me privately telling me not to take what she'd said to heart and that I had absolutely done the right thing, and more than one person asked me, "Isn't that your friend?"

The little girl's own mother thanked both me and the community for helping get her home safely. Other moms even asked if they could introduce me to their children so they would know my house was a safe place to go if they ever needed help while I was working from home.

What hurt wasn't that my friend disagreed with me. It was that this had become another example of being told my judgment wasn't valid because I'm not a mother. That I need to "learn to respect parents". She knows my husband and I have been trying to conceive. I'm also a qualified teacher, so child safety has always been something I take seriously.

That was when I realised this wasn't an isolated disagreement anymore. It had become a pattern where my intentions were consistently assumed to be negative, my perspective was dismissed, and I was repeatedly made to feel as though I was fundamentally incapable of understanding situations involving children simply because I haven't had my own yet.

So I ended the friendship. I'm sad it came to that, but I no longer wanted to stay in a friendship where I constantly felt I had to defend my character, and I will not be around someone trying to convince me that my maternal instincts are wrong when I have my own child.