I (F18) don’t have laundry in my apartment, so I have to go to a laundromat a couple of blocks away. I needed four washing machines, but they were all occupied. There’s about 20 washing machines in total, varying in sizes. I waited my turn, and when I arrived, no one else was waiting for machines. As people started taking their clothes out, I put mine in. I had three washers going and only needed one more.

I was waiting for a machine that was about to finish when this lady walked in and parked her cart in front of it. I told her I was waiting for that machine and had already been waiting for about half an hour. She said she only needed one machine. I replied, “You can wait your turn then. I’ve been waiting for a while.”

I turned around for literally one second to grab my detergent, and she started loading her clothes into the machine. I walked outside because I could feel myself getting really frustrated and needed a minute to cool off. After about five minutes, I went back inside and ended up waiting another five minutes for a different machine to finish.

Side note: Most of the women in the laundromat were in their late 50s to 70s. I was the youngest person there. When I came back inside, it was obvious they were talking about me. They were trying to speak in code in Spanish, but I speak Spanish pretty well, so I understood what they were saying.

Eventually, my three washing machines finished, but now all the dryers were occupied. I put my clothes in a cart and waited. There were already people waiting for dryers before me so I let them go first. I noticed a couple of dryers only had a few minutes left, so I stood off to the side, waiting.
The same lady who had taken my washing machine came over to the drying area and started talking to a woman whose dryers were about to finish. It was obvious they were friends. I watched them glance at me, and then I heard the woman say, “I’m going to give you both of my dryers.”
I immediately spoke up and said, “No, I’ve been waiting here. I at least need one dryer so I can start drying my clothes.”

Instead, the woman taking her clothes out blocked my path with her cart and let the lady who had originally taken my washing machine take both dryers. At this point I was furious, but I kept it to myself. The frustration was definitely very visible on my face, but I didn’t say anything. Another dryer finished a minute later, so I walked around them and put half of my clothes in it. I could feel them glaring at me.
I still needed one more dryer. I noticed another dryer had been finished for about five minutes, but no one had come to get their clothes. I asked the laundromat attendant if she could remove them so I could use the dryer. She wanted to make sure the owner wasn’t still inside, so she started asking around.

While she was doing that, someone else emptied another dryer, so I thought, Perfect, I’ll just use this one. I started loading my clothes when the same woman who had blocked my path grabbed the dryer door, got right up in my face, and said in Spanish, “You need to wait your turn. I was here before you and I need that dryer. You’ve had a bad attitude this whole time.”

She was basically snarling at me with this gross passive aggressive grin. What she said sounds more insulting in Spanish than it does in English.I told her there was no reason to speak to me like that. At that point, I was seeing red. I regret this part, but I just let her have the dryer. I knew I had to calm myself down because I was getting so frustrated to the point that could’ve started to cry.

A few minutes later, my mom showed up to help me fold my laundry, and I told her everything that had happened. Coincidentally, she actually knew the woman who had been nasty to me. My mom confronted her (not disrespectfully) but she assertively and loudly asked why she had been treating me that way. The woman replied that she didn’t know I was my mom’s daughter. My mom said, “So you wouldn’t have treated her like shit if you knew she was my daughter?”

They started arguing, and the woman accused me of lying. She claimed the friend she gave the machines to had been there before me and that her friend had to go to work, which was why she let her cut in front of me. I told her I had things to do too, and I didn’t care if her friend had to work. First of all, if she wasn’t even done with her own laundry, why was she giving her dryers away to someone else? Second, I know she saw me waiting for the washing machines. She knew I was there way before her friend. We made eye contact multiple times, so that excuse was complete bullshit.

I finally lost my cool and said to her in Spanish, “You’re too ugly to be acting like the laundromat mafia. You have nothing else to do with your life so this makes you feel important.” It sounds a lot less cheesy in Spanish.
She immediately says back, “Who are you to call me ugly when you’re fat?” For context, yes, I’m overweight. I responded, “I can change that I’m fat. You can’t change that you’re ugly and a bitch.”

My mom had my back the whole time and another lady who in the laundromat (not involed) was quietly signaling to my mom that I was not lying about what happened. The whole argument lasted maybe two minutes. After that, everyone went quiet. We folded our laundry and left, but I could still hear her gossiping with the friend she had given the dryers to.

I told this story to my friend afterward, and she thinks I went too far by calling the woman ugly. I felt a little bad afterward, but overall I don’t regret standing up for myself. AITAH?

Was taking a trip down memory lane with a female friend of mine and we came upon the following short story.

I got my then GF a bottle of perfume just as a small gift for no specific reason. She sprayed it and said she didn't like it, okay no problem. A few days later we were talking about other perfumes that she might like and then she say "well the one you gave me, I think I'm going to just give it to a guy I work with." I told her that, that was inappropriate to give a gift of any sort from me to another person, but specifically a guy she works with. After some back and forth that started to get heated, she said that she wouldn't give it away, but that she would never wear it so she didn't understand what the big deal was.

After explaining this to my friend from the first sentence of the post, she agreed with my then GF, as what was the big deal about her giving it away. I tried to explain that it was the principal of giving away a gift rather than what the item was specifically.

She and I aren't together anymore so really, it's a moot point, but still .Was I making a big deal out of nothing?

Since getting married and being forced to live with my in-laws versus living apart like my husband and I had decided before, I noticed how he outsourced the responsibility to spend quality time with me to his family. I was supposed to seek comfort with strangers I barely knew in a place & culture as alien as ET for me.

I come from a very liberal, educated, developed, old city but was forced to live in a backward town which got traffic lights less than a decade ago.

He’s affectionate, cuddly, and gives time when he chooses. It’s always on his terms. Not mine. Also, it’s not that he initiated quality time like asking me how my day went, how I’m doing - none of that. Belittles my problems. Easily turns physical intimacy to sex without building the emotional connection. That was reserved for others.

Aside from that, all discussions are made with his parents first and then I’m looped in.

All of this made me feel like I was a convenience rather than a need. Needless to say, I felt comfort in my family and friends who showed affection through words and actions. Trying to tell him this in person failed and it felt like I was without support living with his family.

I chose to visit home and I’d feel so uncomfortable to think about going back. My body would tighten up thinking about having to live in that space again. My life was literally in the room because how the atmosphere in the house is.

Giving that space to talk about things also gave me the convenience of talking to him about the issues and not having to deal with his anger issues where he’d outright insult or get confrontational instead of addressing the issues. I didn’t only feel suffocated from having an argument with him in that room, see him get baked in the balcony, come back and sit in the room and pretend like there isn’t an elephant in the room and then when we go to sleep, he’d pull me into a cuddle and sometimes grope inappropriately even.

There were dozens other issues with us. No concept of parity. Things had to go his way. Or I’d get brinkmanship - on a monthly basis when we were dating.

My body froze up with all these things that were happening and he blames me for destroying the relationship when he failed to create a safe space for me.

TLdR: typical Indian misogynist man who can’t decide if he wants a modern wife and accommodate that. Instead chose to stay on the threshold and made it worse for us.

It was impossible to catch the fly so I just turned off all my lights and waited until the fly flew out into the hallway and quickly shut my door. Now I no longer have the fly in my apartment but it's buzzing around somewhere else around my building.

(Decided to post from real account so people actually see this.)

Yesterday my mom was on FaceTime with my (21f) sister (19f) and she showed me a positive pregnancy test. My heart dropped.

As soon as the call ended I started to panic. I’ve been sobbing since. I basically cried myself to sleep last night. My mom doesn’t think it’s as big of a deal as I do. She was actually surprised by my reaction. Why should I be okay with this though? She made me tell her about why I’m really upset. I couldn’t tell her the whole truth. I only told her I’m afraid of change. It’s true. I struggle with it a lot.

This morning my mom brought up that I wasn’t like this when my brother moved out. This isn’t the same as someone moving out though. Last time my sister moved out was with her abusive ex. However she started visiting him for longer and longer each time so I was able to get used to it. By the time she decided to officially move in with him I was okay with it. When my brother moved out it was without notice. He was 18 and decided to go all the way to Kentucky to live with a friend. I wasn’t happy, but I knew it was for the best. My parents argued a lot when he lived at home. It took me a long time to get used to him moving out, I just kept my feelings in. I didn’t want our family to change or grow up. I’m not upset that we cut contact with him now though. He turned out to be abusive like his grandmother.

My mom doesn’t think this will affect me as much as I think it will. I’m afraid to tell her everything that’s been running through my head. It doesn’t help that she’s lying to my sister and telling her I’m fine with it. I had a panic attack when her abusive ex stayed the night once because I was forced to pretend I didn’t hate him. Keeping my feelings in doesn’t help. I’m afraid letting my feelings out will make me a bad person.

I think this is a stupid decision. I think she should respect that the father (21m) isn’t ready and wait a few years. Wait until she’s not a teen. Maybe even wait until her frontal lobe develops. This isn’t like when we found out she was doing drugs. I can’t just ignore it and pretend it’s not happening. This will affect me more than my mom thinks it will. I’ll be forced to see it. They’ll insist on visits, and birthday parties. I would feel different if she wasn’t a teen. She literally turned 19 4 days ago. There’s nothing for me to be happy about. There’s no reason for me to support this. Not to mention she can’t even handle a headache without throwing up. She has no pain tolerance and IBS. She’s also prone to CHS. My parents only care about themselves. My dad is 66 in October, my mom is 42 in September. My dad has been asking if we’ll ever have kids. They know I never will. They’re so focused on wanting to watch their grandkids grow that they don’t realize how stupid it is to do it so soon. She has no job. No drivers license. She’s not even mature enough. Just a few months ago she threw a fit because my parents didn’t want her walking around the house in her underwear. My dad has grandkids from previous marriages too. It’s no one’s fault that he didn’t watch them grow. He could have asked them to come visit. He could have made plans to visit them himself.

My mom was forced to grow up before she was ready. That’s the difference. She had a job and was paying her own bills and had a car before she was legally old enough to drink. Her parents didn’t care about her enough to tell her no when she did things she shouldn’t have. Her mom was abusive. I now understand why my uncle was so dramatic when he found out my mom was pregnant at 19. He literally moved out the next day. Why her parents weren’t ecstatic. It’s not a good thing. They had every right to be upset. I’m grateful my mom went through with it anyway, but I don’t blame her family for being upset. It did affect them. They still had to watch her go through that. Had to see me at family get togethers. They couldn’t ignore it. She didn’t even move out until a few months after I was born. My mom thinks because she did drugs at 15 she wasn’t allowed to be mad at my sister for doing it. She thinks because she got pregnant at 19 with me that she can’t be disappointed in her own child for not learning from that.

Please don’t say anything about my parent’s age gap. I don’t care right now. I’m grateful my mom had an experienced adult to help raise me. No he’s not my bio dad. Just my siblings.

I’m afraid to say I would be okay with it if she waited a few years because I don’t want my mom to be mad or tell me I’m being disrespectful or unsupportive. I don’t want her to lie and tell my sister I support it when I don’t. I spent my whole life being quiet. For once I don’t want to be.

So, WIBTAH if I tell my mom that I can’t stop sobbing because I want my sister to wait? AITAH for hoping it’s a false positive, or the father talks her out of it?(My mom had a false years ago so I know it’s possible.)

My cousin and I both 21F planned months out to attend a concert a few states away. We bought them through Ticketmaster which is non refundable and both took off time work months in advance. We discussed our plans all coming up to the event.

About a week before the event she texts me and lets me know she can’t make it anymore. I was already worried about it because if I can’t find someone else to come I lose my ticket I spent $250 on. I assumed she would take the L on the ticket because she canceled so last minute doesn’t constitute to be my issue IMO.

But now she’s arguing w me about sending the money. I’m not one to play about money but I feel like this isn’t my fault and/or my issue. I’m unsure if I can even get someone else to come with me so I don’t see why I’d pay for her portion as well because of a last minute decision. Not to mention I’m already a bit in a hole money wise so I didn’t plan for smth like this at all. Am I an AH here if I refuse or should I just suck it up and pay it to avoid conflict ??

I (27F) recently had to have the slats on my bed replaced. Because the slats were so heavy and thick, I couldn’t drill the holes in for the screws myself. My dad (63M) offered to do it for me, and I accepted.

The original slats were secured in place with eight screws placed in the slats on the extreme ends of the bed and in the slats closer to the middle to keep the support even. I removed these screws and placed half of them on one side of my bed and half of them on the other.

My dad must have missed some of the screws because he only put in four, drilling them into the new slats on the ends only. The middle slats- the ones actually supporting my weight- were entirely unsecured.

I did not know this. I wasn‘t there when my dad drilled the screws into my new slats. He did it, told me he did it, and I believed he used all eight. At the very least, I would have assumed that he would realize that he would need to put screws in the middle slats so that they wouldn’t collapse out from under me.

They collapsed out from under me. Last night, as I went to bed early, I was given quite a shock. As I inspected the slats, I realized my dad’s mistake and called him to inform him.

Here’s where we get to the titular point. Last night, my dad went to see a play. I knew he was going to the theater and called him anyway. He had forgotten to silence his phone, and it disturbed the atmosphere.

Dad got very mad at me for that. In my view, he was blaming me for his mistake, since silencing your phone is common courtesy at the theater. If he had silenced his phone, my calling him would not have disturbed anyone. He would have continued to watch the play, then seen that he had missed a call from me after the fact.

But from his perspective, I shouldn’t have called him at al because I KNEW that he was at the theater. He thought I should have just texted him.

Maybe he’s right. I will admit that when my slats literally collapsed under me and my mattress fell through the bed frame onto the floor, I felt terrified, disappointed, and a little bit angry. I felt the need to talk to my dad, and I wasn’t really thinking about how he would feel to get a call in the middle of a play.

But I also feel like he’s blaming me for his mistake in not silencing his phone.

So, was I the asshole?

tldr; my dad offered to fix the slats on my bed, but he did it poorly, and my bed collapsed while I was lying on it. I called him while he was at the theater to tell him this, and my call disturbed the atmosphere because my dad forgot to silence his phone.

We have been engaged for a year and he wants the big wedding so I told him he'd have to plan majority of it. I am completely content with a courthouse wedding. I'm trying to give him as much autonomy but tonight we had a spat about the wedding progression. It brought up how much I have already done for the wedding he wanted, which he excitedly agreed to plan.

He said 'it is blatantly clear you don't trust my planning, is there anything else you want to tell me?'. I then confessed how the proposal was not what I expected. And this is why I am uneasy with the wedding planning he promised he would take care of.

We did a first proposal in our new apartment casually as I knew he didn't have the ring but I needed a promise for the future for us to move in together. He finally made the ring 2 months later. It is a combination of our grandmother's jewelry. I absolutely adore it.

I knew he had the ring, but I had not seen it as he was going to re propose. Another 2 months pass, I wait patiently. I plan for us to go to a wedding convention (ahem, something I was waiting for him to plan) and he says I think it'd be nice for you to wear the ring. I see it for the first time and it's better than I imagined. Stunning.

And now another 2 months pass, he plans a night out and I know this is the re-proposal. It's where we had our first date. A random group of nice people saw the whole thing and recorded it. They sent us the video and we took a photo with them.

Although we both teared up when he asked the second time, it wasn't what I had imagined because my fiance is romantic, spontaneous and thoughtful. The proposal was not. We didn't have a nice dinner, we bar hopped. There were no flowers and I was not surprised. We were fortunate a random group video taped it. Otherwise it would have just been us in a public place.

I have been wanting to tell him this for awhile and tonight the opportunity came up. But now I deeply hurt him. I could see the pain in his tearful eyes. He agreed it was not the proposal he wanted and not what he planned but he did not have the finances. I told him you had 6 extra months to plan this though, I don't understand.

He left to stay at a friend's and I'm here asking you guys would it have been better if I never said anything at all?

I (29M) met a girl (29F) on Bumble about a month ago. Her profile had some really cool hiking pics, and I later found out that she works for a company that organizes alpine hikes and that she's one of the trek leaders. I'm really into hiking, so I was honestly excited to meet someone who shared that interest.

She invited me to join her on one of the treks she was leading and said she was allowed to bring one person for free, so I thought, why not?

I traveled to the location and joined her group for the hike. I'm an experienced trekker and have been doing solo treks for over a decade, so I wasn't exactly new to this. For the first three days, we had an amazing time. We mostly did our own thing during the trek, but I really liked her personality. She was confident, took charge, and seemed completely in her element. Honestly, I found that really attractive.

We also sat under the stars on our second night and talked for about four hours, sharing experiences and stories, and we kissed under the stars. On our third night, we hooked up once.

She also knew way more about hiking than I did, which made sense since it's literally her job. She set up a tent faster than me, taught me different knots, showed me which mushrooms to look for if I ever got lost and ran out of food, and pointed out a few plants with antibacterial properties that could be useful for cuts and stuff. I genuinely enjoyed spending time with her.

On the fourth day, there was an accident. A girl on the trek injured her knee, and the two of us ended up helping with her rescue. We waited for the rescue team to arrive, and then we got pulled into what turned into a long and difficult rescue operation. At one point, I even injured my own knee jumping across a stream because we had to help set up a zipline system for the stretcher.

Eventually, we got the injured girl to a small town, took her to the hospital, got her admitted, and then left.

That's when things suddenly changed.

Her personality switch was almost instant, and it honestly caught me off guard. She became extremely clingy. She started calling me "babe" and acting like we were already in a relationship. I started feeling uncomfortable because, at that point, we had only met in person once.

The next day, I left to go back to my hometown. Before I left, she asked me to take a picture with her, so I agreed and we took a mirror selfie.

Later, she told me that a friend of hers had asked about the picture, and she apparently told him I was her boyfriend.

I was really confused because we had only met once. We weren't in a relationship, and we weren't even really dating yet. We'd spent one trek together, and we had hooked up once, but that was it.

Then she started talking about marriage.

At one point, she told me, "I've always wanted to marry a guy who loves the mountains just as much as I do and wouldn't stop me from going on these week-long treks. I can see myself marrying you."

I told her I felt like she was putting way too much pressure on me. I reminded her that we barely knew each other and that we weren't a couple.

She also called her best friend and told him about me, saying she was really glad she'd found someone like me and that she really liked me. I only know this because she told me afterward.

I honestly feel like I'm being love-bombed. It feels like everything is moving way too fast, and I'm starting to feel trapped by how intense it all is.

She's even asked for my home address so she can send me some authentic ointment for my sunburn, which I know is probably meant to be a nice gesture, but after everything else, it just makes me feel even more uncomfortable.

Today, we ended up talking on the phone for more than an hour. I kept trying to explain to her that I didn't feel the same way and that, as much as I appreciated her feelings, I couldn't return them. I told her repeatedly that I was sorry, but that this just wasn't working for me and I didn't want to lead her on. But it felt like she wasn't really listening to what I was saying. No matter how many times I tried to explain myself, she kept coming back to the same thing—that she'd never felt this way about anyone before. I kept repeating myself, trying to make her understand where I was coming from, but it felt like my words weren't actually reaching her.

I'm now considering ghosting her because I don't know how else to handle this without making things awkward.

So, AITAH if I ghost her?

Update : Because of my knee injury, I was told to rest for a few days, so we ended up talking quite a bit during that time. I also made it clear to her multiple times that I wanted us to take things slowly. For example, she started calling me "babe" and "baby," which felt way too soon for me considering we'd only known each other for a short time. I told her how I felt, and she said she understood, but then she'd continue doing the same thing.

Then there was the incident with the picture. One of her friends saw a picture of us, and she told her friend that I was her boyfriend. I told her that we weren't a couple yet and that I wanted us to take some time to get to know each other before putting labels on things. Again, she agreed with me.

Then the whole situation with her best friend happened, followed by the conversations about marriage. So this isn't a case of me suddenly deciding to block or ghost her out of nowhere. I've tried talking to her about this multiple times because I genuinely liked what we had during that hike together, and I wanted to see where things could go. But for the past few weeks, I've repeatedly been telling her that I wanted to slow things down, and I felt like my feelings and boundaries weren't really being taken into consideration.

Today, I finally called her and told her that I didn't think this was working out for me. We spoke for more than an hour, and I kept trying to explain that I appreciated her feelings but that I couldn't return them in the same way. I told her multiple times that I was sorry, but I didn't want to lead her on. But it felt like she wasn't actually listening to what I was saying. She kept repeating that she'd never felt this way about anyone before, no matter how many times I tried to explain where I was coming from.

After that conversation, I decided to make this post because I genuinely don't know if I handled this situation badly. From my perspective, I've been trying to communicate my feelings and ask her to slow things down for a month, and I eventually reached a point where I felt like I had to end things because I didn't feel heard.

I do agree that we probably shouldn't have slept together, and I regret how quickly things became physical between us. I take responsibility for my part in that, and it honestly makes me feel even more like an asshole. But I also can't keep repeating the same conversation when I've already tried to explain how I feel.

Update:

After reading a lot of the comments on this subreddit, I decided that the least I could do was give her the courtesy of having this conversation over the phone instead of just disappearing or blocking her.

I called her this morning and told her that I'd been thinking about everything all night, and that I didn't see things going anywhere between us. I told her that I genuinely had a great time trekking with her and that I have some very cherished memories from the time we spent together in the mountains.

I also told her that I regret how quickly things became physical between us and that I would probably always feel guilty about it. I explained how I felt about my boundaries being repeatedly disregarded, even though I had tried to communicate those boundaries two or three times.

She told me not to feel guilty about the sex because, from her perspective, we both wanted it. She also said that she could tell over the last five or six days that I had been acting differently on the phone and that the way I was replying to her had changed, especially after our conversations about marriage and the future.

She told me that she was hurt, but that she'd be okay. She said that it had been four years since her last breakup and that she hadn't met anyone in a long time who she had so much in common with. She even told me that she liked the fact that I wasn't intimidated by her on the hike. Instead, she found it attractive that she had a stronger presence than me while we were hiking. She said I checked almost all of her boxes.

Honestly, if it weren't for the constant disregard of the boundaries I felt I had clearly communicated, I felt very similarly about her.

She told me she didn't have anything else to say to me and that she didn't want to stay friends because she'd become too emotionally involved. I completely understand and respect that.

Fortunately, it didn't come down to me having to block her. She simply asked me to delete her number and not answer if she ever drunk-called me. She said that if I accidentally did answer, she just wanted me to be kind to her on the phone.

So that's where things stand now. It was a difficult conversation, but I'm glad I gave her the courtesy of having it directly instead of just cutting her off without an explanation.

I (W 19) went for vacation to my best friends(W 18) village with her and her bf (M 21). Were bsf for 7 years now and this year her bf would come with us for the summer vacay. Because of some problems with her sister we thought to sleep in the same bedroom three of us. We thought it would be fun to get 3 single beds and connect them so we could be like a family (it’s our little inside joke because they think of me as their little lesbian daughter).
We went to the beach had fun, afterwards had dinner, took showers in turns. When we went to bed we doomscrolled for a while, after a bit I felt sleepy so I told them goodnight and turned the other way. Little did they knew that I did not fall asleep that moment. After a few seconds I heard some weird noises. They sounded wet and I heard the beds moving. I turned and saw something I wanted to erase from my memory. They literally spoon devil tangoed while I was next to them.
I turned the other way slept as much as I could and woke up the next morning called my mother and a taxi and left. Never went in contact with her. And the question here is AM I THE ASSHOLE?

my bestfriend has an apartment she wanted me to stay on the weekends as it was on a college campus, closer to clubs etc.

she was gone for a weekend so i wasn’t staying, i happened to see a guy i haven’t seen for a long time. just knew of him, but he was visiting his family at the time because he’s in the military. ran into each other at a bar (yes we were instantly intimate and were hanging all week long) i kind of fell very quickly. he met my parents and everything.

he was leaving that Wednesday so only 4-5 ish days away.

as i was hanging with him i got a text from my friend that she’s coming home early, that saturday night she wanted to go out with me. i responded with “i would but im actually seeing a guy, we’ve been hanging and he’s leaving wednesday so im going to spend it with him.” she responds with “that’s fine we can all hang together and go to the club” i asked him if he was okay with it and he was.

when i got to my friends apartment she said “we can sleep in the same room and he can just stay in the guest bedroom”

the guest bedroom was an empty room in the apartment that she called a locksmith for (she wasn’t supposed to have access to it) so she wasn’t paying for that room, she just used it for her extra junk.

i said “woah, we have a hotel for tonight we aren’t staying here, and if we were i’d be sleeping next to him”

she instantly was upset and said why would you pay for a hotel room when you can stay here with me? there’s no need for that please stay here. so i finally gave in and said fine we can stay there but im going to be with him in the guest bedroom.

we go to the club and she’s trying to convince me a bit like “are you sure we can’t just stay in the same bed? you just met him i’m your bestfriend.” i got annoyed and said i actually felt something different for him and this is only until Wednesday, then it won’t be like this anymore.

she told me she wanted to hang out just us and asked why he has to be here with us. i said my plans originally were with him so actually you’re here with US.

she ends up hating the night she was pretty quiet and upset, she’s never seen me like a guy so it maybe was different for her.

we didn’t get back to her apartment until 4 am, and she said “oh, and you’re not allowed to have sex” so i said “okay” with a smile. i did it anyways.

the guy i was with tried saying she said not to and i was very upset and said she can’t just tell us as 4 am that we cannot have sex when we had a hotel planned. so yeah, we did it anyways. had she said no to that earlier we would’ve just got the hotel and rejected her offer, now we were drunk, tired, and in the “guest bedroom”

so the next morning i was washing the singular sheet my bestfriend had on the bed in the guest bedroom and she looked at it and goes “did you have sex?” and i said “yeah.” and instantly she was pissed saying she told me not to and how rude that is.

i just played it off honestly by acting like i don’t remember her saying that and i was so drunk etc etc and apologized. she proceeded to tell our whole friend group how disrespectful i am and how i stayed there and did that with no backstory so i was confronted by like 5 of our friends, who agreed with ME once i told them what really happened.

the good part about all this is he’s my boyfriend now!

so, AITAH?

I'm a 19y/o guy, and l've been dating my girlfriend, (20 y/o) for four years now. But about a year ago, she started mentioning a 22y/o Russian online friend that l'd never heard of before. She claimed she'd known him for much longer, but I couldn't recall a single conversation about him.

around two months ago she told me this friend was coming to visit the country to meet her in person for the first time, and I thought it was great. I even helped her plan tourist outings to impress the visitor. But when she told me he'd be sleeping over at her apartment during his stay, it made me really uncomfortable.

I didn't like the idea of someone she never seen in person staying over for a whole month. Especially because she mentioned her parents didn't know he was coming and he'd be sleeping in her apartment because they'd never allow it.
she's not from the city, and neither are her parents.
They live far away but rent her an apartment for university.

i didn't want to meddle too much, but it was so obvious I hated the idea that she stopped bringing it up. During the first few days, I tried to be understanding. I tagged along to some outings with them, but I realized I was the third wheel. I kept picking up on interactions between them that felt way too strange and I still do.

He arrived two weeks ago, and I haven't had a single day alone with my girlfriend because she's out with him every day.

This guy is weird weird, especially because she confessed to me that she doesn't know anything about his family in Russia or his personal life, since they don't really talk about that stuff.

That was another red flag that went off in my head, especially because from the very beginning, he was really insistent on her going to visit him in HIS country, but since my girlfriend didn't have the money, he came here instead.

I've never felt this way about her other friends. She has several male friends in her circle she's close with like brothers, and l've never been jealous because there's a clear boundary everyone respects. But with this guy, that line feels blurred, or maybe I'm just thinking with a hot head.

I've considered calling her parents and telling them their daughter has a stranger secretly living with her. But I also know that if I do that, she'll never forgive me for not trusting her and it might even end our relationship.

So, there was a lot going on at this time that I won't go in to, but just know that neither of us were at our best - we are currently broken up but this instance came up with someone I am dating now and she sided with my ex (that I will call her Anna). I am curious to hear if IATAH. 

About 2 months into our relationship I traveled out of state for work (canvassing) for a month and stayed at a hotel with my co-workers. I am a very outgoing person and LOVED the people I worked with so much. I am a lesbian but connected (platonically) with this guy (let's call him Kyle)  - we had a playful dynamic and I enjoyed him. He was not the only friend I made but the only one relevant to this story. I don't have a lot of guy friends and he was just such a boy in a way I found hilarious, entertaining, and just the perfect "co worker". There was never a single instance that I read as romantic and he knew I was a lesbian and in a relationship. We talked at work, went to Walmart once, and had a conversation that went as follows:

I was talking about her and  told him I thought she was the one (I was 26 and it was the most serious relationship I had ever been in) and he said something sarcastic like "oh okay we'll see bout that" (or something along those lines). I told him I really felt that and that I just felt really good and at peace about us. Now, to me, I do not take this as a jab at my girlfriend, but as a boyish and legit jab at the idea of thinking I may marry someone I have known 2 months - and I responded with my truth and he never made a comment like that again. Would I say it? No. Is it valid? To me, on some level. I shared this convo w/ my gf and this begun a hesitance towards him.

Flash forward like 4 months and I am still dating her and am still friends with him (nothing super regular but a text here and there and hopes to hang MAYBE once a month, if that) - I once went from her house to my plans with Kyle - her energy shifted a bit (lower energy) but she was supportive and kind - she never once asked me not to see him or not be friends with him. 

Now, month later, where the stress of our relationship is at an all time high (substance use & alcoholism on her end and many un kept promises that were driving me bonkers) I had plans with Kyle and another one of our co workers (Jimmy) who is also Queer and in a relationship. Anna had plans to go camping with her friend and I had plans with Jimmy and Kyle. A few days before I sat in my car, told her explicitly and clearly that I had plans with Kyle and Jimmy the upcoming weekend, while she was gone. Then, in my apartment, about 40 minutes later she asks "what are you doing this weekend?" and without thinking, but knowing I didn't want to shift the energy negatively I listed everything I was doing EXCEPT my plans with Jimmy and Kyle. Now, I do not think this was the right thing to do - I should have been brave, owned my truth, and dealed with it if it changed the mood. However, I do not see this as some grave wrong doing or lie when I had explicitly told her I would be seeing him less than an hour before.

This led to an elevated convo and increased suspicions about this guy. To her it was suspicious that I was hanging out with him while she was out of town and now "lying" about it.     

While I was with Jimmy and Kyle she called me (likely drunk, high, or both), had me put the phone on speaker, and went off, questioned them, etc. These were new friends and I was so embarrassed and emotionally a mess so they kindly left. To me, this was a greater wrong doing than my initial error - but also, it's not a contest - I just wished our errors could have cancelled the whole thing out like "well, we both fucked up there."

As a lesbian, this felt horrible. I even questioned my own sexuality just to MAKE SURE I did not have any feelings for this guy (I absolutely do not). 

During the breakup (which I initiated) this was brought up MANY times and was the only thing she ever said I did wrong. Meanwhile, I could likely tell you 5-10 times she let me down (in the same way). I don't hate her for that at all but it was infuriating to have one mistake I made used against me when her behavior was what led to the breakup and was what refused to change after countless conversations and me pleading for things to change. 

Now flash forward to last night - this girl I am seeing references this story (which she has only heard part of) and said "when you lied to your ex" - I said "that is a wild thing to say" and  walked out of the room to take some deep breaths lol we talked about it, she apologized, and understood why that was not really cool to say. I told her it was genuinely okay, shit happens, I let her know if that story brought up other concerns for her we could talk about them etc etc and that she’s allowed to have an opinion on the things I share - it’s just emotionally charged and not something I want to be held to, today (4 years later)

So! What do you think? AITA?

For context I (18F) began dating my ex (20m) when I was 15, a sophomore in high school and he was 18 and graduating (started dating April ‘24). For the story I’m going to refer to him as B. Throughout the entirety of our relationship he was extremely distant and unromantic. He didn’t have any sort of love language— I would bring it up to him and he would change for maybe a week, and then be right back to his old ways. No compliments, no dates, no acts of affection, nothing. On top of this, he claimed to be asexual from the beginning of our relationship, which I was completely okay with because sex wasn’t something that was important to me. Our relationship was really unproblematic, we just hung out most days and didn’t really do anything. We were very different people, him being more of a homebody and me always wanting to go outside, go to concerts, but I sort of stifled that part of myself to appease him; he would constantly complain and go like actually crazy if I did get him to do something. He once wanted to be in a band I was starting as the bassist, but he didn’t play bass and the other two people of the band were super skilled at their instruments, so he decided he hated them and got extremely angry at me for hanging out with them, often going on tangents about how they “made him want to kill himself”. If I got him to go to do literally anything with me, he would find something to complain about.

Anyways, in August 2025 i was sitting next to him and he was just fooling around on his phone. I sent him a post on Twitter, and watched him open it in his DMs, when I then saw he had sent a DM to another account with his name. I kept a mental note of the accounts username and pretended I didn’t see anything. Later in the day he went to take a shower and I looked up the account. It was a secret Twitter account that he followed a bunch of porn accounts on. Now, I had stated before that I saw porn as cheating, but not only was he following all these porn accounts, all of them were trans women. I am cis, so this bugged me because I don’t have a penis!!!! 😭 so he wasn’t asexual, he just literally did not like my body. I later confronted him about it to which he gave me some half assed apology and said he wouldn’t do it again, so I just accepted it and moved on. Finally October came around, and I saw something on his phone that made me suspicious. Later that night I snuck onto his phone and went through the entire thing. Instagram, Reddit, (Twitter had been wiped clean), and TikTok were all FULL of saves and bookmarks of thirst traps and more porn of trans women. I freaked out and had a mental breakdown where I was sobbing uncontrollably which caused him to wake up. Upon confronting him, he started hitting himself in the head violently, and I had to beg him to stop. Finally after a few hours of talking he said he wouldn’t do it ever again. I found this really hard to believe because this was what he said last time. I have always struggled with self harm, and relapsed over this later after I had left his house.

The next week months were a blur and even with the knowledge that I had relapsed he continued to have porn and thirst traps saved in his phone, which made my mental health absolutely tank. I only had one true friend at the time, who we will call C. I suspected that C liked me, and because I was in a relationship I pushed him away over this. We had a big falling out in March, and after some talking we rekindled. April came around, and mine and B’s two years anniversary happened. Things were, as usual, incredibly unromantic between us. I began drifting away from B as I realized that me and him were more friends than we were partners, and I began to realize I had feelings for C. I never once was disloyal to B, but the thoughts were there, and I explained this to C. C told me that he would not ask me to break up with B for him, but he also had feelings for me. We ended up sort of ignoring this and maintaining our friendship, but I felt very guilty. Because of my developing feelings for C and general unhappiness with B, in May, I attempted to break up with B. I explained to him that his disloyalty and lying were something I would never be able to truly forgive him for, and that we were very different people and I wasn’t happy, but he talked me out of it, but nothing really changed after that and I still wanted to break up with him. I had mentally checked out of the relationship, and I was immature and didn’t know what to do, so I sort of just pushed him away. I began doing things with my life again like going to concerts and hanging out with old friends. Finally my graduation came around. After graduation, I was hanging out with my family. Me and my family had always had some tension due to their disapproval of mine and B’s age difference, but we were rekindling and spending more time together than ever. I was texting B that day, and he got upset at me for choosing to hang out with my family over him, so I broke up with him in that moment and said I wasn’t going to discuss it further.

A few days later, I was hanging out with C and we kissed. We then started dating. Was it a little soon? Absolutely. But mentally I felt like I hadn’t been dating B for months at this point, considering all of his disloyalty and lack of affection towards me. I didn’t have to do any sort of getting over him, so I didn’t see an issue with dating C. Me and C have now been happily dating for a month, and I feel more loved than I ever have in my life. I feel like we are perfect for one another, and I sincerely love him more than I have ever felt love for anyone.

After me and C started dating, B found out and then accused me of cheating on him. I never once cheated on him, because loyalty was hugely important to me. Even if I wasn’t in love with B, it would be unfair to cheat on him, which is something that factored into why I broke up with him/ tried to break up with him in the first place. He told every single one of our friends that I cheated on him, which, despite lacking any sort of proof or evidence, caused all of them to block me. Secondly, I found out he is saying that I beat him. I ABSOLUTELY believe that men can be in abusive relationships, but that is NOT the case here at all. The only time I did anything remotely close to “beating” him was when I would play fight with him. I’d rustle him around playfully, but never once did I beat him. On top of this, he’s well over half a foot taller than me and weighs like 80 pounds more than me. I’m not saying it COULDNT happen, but WHY would I do that. I wouldn’t. I DID not.

Anywho, I know that I am not 100 percent in the right here considering I fell for someone else in a relationship, but I didn’t cheat. How in the wrong am I here? I feel like this is all very unfair to me because of the disloyalty I faced, only with that to be followed by insane lies about me, but maybe I need to hit reality. What do I do.

Edit: me and c kissed and started dating AFTER I had broken up with b. Apologies for the confusion

I (24M) wrote my girlfriend (21F) a custom choose-your-own-adventure novel (around 430 pages) for our anniversary. Each chapter also has a drawing tied to it that I made myself. She’s the main character, there are multiple endings depending on the choices she makes, and I spent a lot of time writing and pouring my heart into it.

It’s now been about 7 months, and she still hasn’t finished it. To be fair, I completely understood why she didn’t read much since we’re in college and during the semester she was busy with finals, and had recently been diagnosed with depression and major anxiety. I’ve been supporting her as best I can and I never expected her to prioritize my book over school. What has been bothering me is that it’s now summer. She works a part-time job, but she has several days off each week, has been in a much better mood, and has continued going to her therapist, but she still hasn’t finished it.

I know everyone reads at their own pace, and I don’t think she’s obligated to finish it by a certain date. Still, I can’t help feeling hurt because I poured so much love and effort into something that was made specifically for her.
I eventually told her yesterday that I felt a little sad that she still hadn’t finished reading it. I was careful not to accuse her of anything or say she was a bad girlfriend. I just wanted to be honest about how I was feeling.
She immediately started crying and said that if I felt that way, then I must think she doesn’t love me enough. I told her that wasn’t what I meant at all. I don’t think she loves me any less. I was only trying to express that I felt hurt that something so meaningful to me still hadn’t been finished after all this time.

The conversation ended with me comforting her and reassuring her that she could read it at her own pace. We hugged, and things were okay afterward. The only thing that’s still bothering me is that it felt like my original concern never really got addressed. Once she became upset, the conversation shifted entirely to comforting her, and I ended up feeling like my feelings were left on the sidelines. So, AITA for feeling hurt about this in the first place?

EDIT: I forgot to mention that she’s told me before that the idea of someone writing her a book was really romantic. She also really loves choose your own adventure games. We play them together often, such as Until Dawn, Detroit Become Human, and The Quarry. I also understand that 430 pages is a lot 😅 but that’s if you follow all possible endings. The average ending is around 130 pages. Sorry for not bringing it before.

I live with my parents as an adult. It’s complicated and I am not in a position to move out due to disability. I am the one who cleans the most. My dad never cleans and my mom does sometimes. My dad doesn’t wash his hands when he comes home from a public place, after using the bathroom and handing dirty things. I asked him to please wash his hands after using the bathroom. He looked at me like I have 5 heads and told me he does. He certainly does not. I simply pointed out it’s a health concern and we all have to live together and if I’m wrong I’m sorry but that’s I’ve noticed it multiple times and it’s been bothering me for quite awhile. AITA?

Welcome to my trainwreck of a relationship.
I’m just gonna preface this by saying - I genuinely can’t tell if I’m the AH or he is, or if this is just an overall toxic situation and we both suck. So I’d love some outside opinions.

I (25F) met my boyfriend (27M) in August last year. We got to talking and found we had a lot in common and we had an instant connection.
It was very intense at first - he was obsessed with me, said he loved me on the first date, talked about how he’d never had a connection like this etc. I fell for him hard.
The start was amazing. Butterflies, love, dates, sweet texts, etc.

However, he told me he’d just broken up with his ex, like, a couple weeks after we met.
A month into us seeing each other, he went kinda cold. He said he was conflicted about leaving his ex because he’d lost a lot of stability in his life and he also told me that ultimately he’d broken up with her because he met me and fell for me. But now he was conflicted about the decision.

Then, he tells me that his ex is staying at his house again. I don’t know how this happened or what was said, but she was back. He told me they weren’t back together, but she was just “helping him out with things” and he also felt bad about kicking her out (they lived together previously.) as she had to go stay with parents.

For 5 months, he was hot and cold, back and forth. I had no clue what was going on. One minute he loved me, the next he was “confused”. His ex was still staying with him, sleeping in his bed every night, but he assured me they never touched each other and they were absolutely broken up.
I figured out that he was hiding me from her. She had no idea he was seeing someone else.
I had a strong feeling they actually were back together and he was cheating, but every time I brought it up and asked him to cut it off with her he made me feel completely insane.

In December, he took me out to dinner and told me he was done messing me around, and that he wanted to be with me and promised he would ask her to move out again.
The next day he was back to being conflicted. Then he broke things off with me, told me he was taking her to dinner to ask her to give their relationship another chance.
Then, the day after that he changed his mind AGAIN and said he wanted to be with me.
After this emotional whiplash, I told him to just leave it, and leave me alone. We went no contact after that.

During this time, I ended up hooking up with another guy. I guess it was a rebound and I was just trying to get over him.
A week later, he calls me begging to try again and that he wants to commit to me.
I told him about the other guy, and I immediately blocked him out of respect and to reassure him that he was cut off.

After this we were together officially for 6 weeks. He was extremely angry at me for hooking up with the other guy during no contact, constantly saying I cheated on him.

Come to find out this whole time (the 6 weeks we’d officially been together) he’d still been talking to his ex. I also found messages to his friends saying he was going to “fuck me off” and get back with her.
He asked me for space and saw her that day. Broke up with me, and had her over again that weekend.
3 days later, he called me - begging for me to get back with him.

At this point I was a wreck. I was still hopelessly in love with him but now I was extremely conflicted. It was very back and forth - he was putting in a lot of effort, buying me flowers, writing me love letters, taking me out etc. but ultimately I broke up with him again as I just couldn’t see a way forward after everything that’d happened.

During this breakup I was a complete mess, I was going out and drinking a lot and I ended up kissing this guy a few times while out.

Eventually, me and him ran into each other again completely by chance. We ended up having a huge talk and we both wanted to start over and make it work.

As soon as we got back together - I found out he’d been back with his ex again for 2 weeks during the breakup.
He told me he’d cut it off again, and he wouldn’t talk to her again. I let it go because I really just wanted to start over and I also felt like I couldn’t get upset about it because I’d broken up with him, and whatever he did during the breakup wasn’t my business. But it did really hurt.

I also told him I’d kissed this guy a few times while we were broken up and he completely lost it. Again, saying I cheated and betrayed him etc.

So that brings us to now. We’ve been back together for just over 2 months. I’ve been putting a lot of effort in to make this work - cooking him dinners, helping him out around the house when I stay there etc. trying to make him feel loved.
But now he’s conflicted again. Says he’s really hurt about when I left him, and the fact I kissed someone during the breakup and he’s having a hard time getting over it.
He’s very hot and cold again, one minute he’s all over me and loves me, the next he’s fighting with me and pulling away.
He says I need to put in work to regain his trust and he’s also said he doesn’t know how he can ever trust me again.

I tried to point out that I didn’t cheat on him - this happened when we were broken up, just like him and his ex happened while we were broken up. He says it’s not the same thing and what I did was worse.

At this point I’m very exhausted. It feels like I’m now carrying the relationship and trying to make it work while he stays conflicted and he blames all of our issues on me and says all of this damage was caused by me.

So.
AITA?

There are 2 hyenas at my job that always snicker when I walk by or they say something rude & it becomes their main focus for the entire shift. My pants are flooding, yes I’m 5’8…my sweater has a hole…yes it’s my work sweater & so on…it’s ANNOYING.

Today they followed me while saying “OMG your hair!” They laughed at my hair and started giving me unsolicited hair tips. I told them to mind their business and they said that they were just trying to help me out. Help?! Oh ok…They both have poor oral hygiene…Plaque, bad breath and white tongues all of it.

I told them that since we’re giving helpful tips then they needed to floss 2x/day & buy a tongue scraper. Then I explained how to brush your teeth. No one laughed and witnesses told me that I was mean bc “They really have bad teeth.” Ok so all the more reason to listen to the unsolicited advice I offered. One of my coworkers asked me to apologize and I’m trying to find a reason.

AITAH? I felt like I was defending myself bc I’m so over them & I told them before that if I wanted advice I’d ask for it. They still think they’re so funny.

im 20f live with my parents and in collegue , i cant say where im from north africa and usually girls dont move out till they get married and parents usually provide for their children and a bit of background to understand ,my reasons
im an intervort and i dont usually go shopping on my own and it's usually my mom with me cause she wont give me the money and doesnt like my own taste but stores here hardly sell anything stylish everything looks the same and lame but i dont have the money to buy online , so yesterday my cousin told me to ask for a monthly allowence so i could order clothes and any other accessories and make up i was hesitant but i decided to try with my mom and asked for a 50 or less usd as a monthly allownce so i could save up from and buy more skin care and clothes i want on my own but my mom refused and said we buy you clothes when you need and we give you when you want , thats a lie whenever i ask for any money she wants details and wants me to buy things she approves even though she lets my younger sis buys what she wants and order but when i want she says no and would barely do give me maybe chances 3\10 , i tried finding jobs multibule times but my parents want current jobs so no service/low pay jobs , i tried to get a job as a call center cause my english is B1/B2 but sadly a one they took me only for a week it was paid and my parent refused to gimme the money it was tranferred to dad , and i tried another but the acc got canceled , also when ever i go to work my mom wants me to come back fresh after 10 hours shift+transportation
and i come tired and moody and she gets upset , im tried of this , i cant buy clothes or anything and when i get a job i get trashtalked unless im so happy and goffy for her
am i at wrong? and if im why and what should i do ? and reminder i cant move out

So let me preface this that I view money in marriage as joint. My money is her money and her money is my money.

I work and my wife is a SAHM with our 1 year old son. I recently got a new job and have finally been able to save money each month. We have debts like student loans and a car loan and our mortgage but my monthly income ends with about $3k extra each month after all our debts and expenses. We have about 20k saved and about 150k in retirement at the age of 30.

Just painting a picture of our finances because I'm asking about money. I know I'm super lucky in this economy. So here's the question.

I want to buy a 3D printer that costs $750 but my wife does not want us to spend that money as she wants to violently save as much as we can to buy a bigger house for a second kid.

I want to do this as a hobby and I feel like I have a right to spend some money. The thing is she doesn't splurg at all so she isn't being hypocritical. She says she would want a new purse for that much too but doesn't get it.

I get this is privileged to ask and some of you will say "you make enough to live I'd be happy in life just having that" but this question is more about if I'm being an ass to my wife if I buy this printer anyway without her approval.

Edit: thank you all for your responses. I'm not used to more than like 5 comments on my posts! Appreciate the advice. My wife has found this post and is making fun of me for the ratio. She did agree to a "fun" budget so time to do some more research into the continuing costs!

I'm in the process of buy a house for my GF and I to move into from our condo. This is my first house and I'm buying it alone. Admittedly, I'm stressed about the whole thing, so I might be on edge.

I was trying to explain the whole inspection process and some of the negotiations around price that still need to happen. She had been drinking and was totally confused about what I was trying to explain. I got frustrated and shut down.

She later left me a card saying that she understands my stress level and wants to help. She goes on to say how appreciative she is that I am able to provide a nice place for us to live. Then signs the card as "a sex voucher" to be turned in. For context, our sex life is less that I'd like it to be and only about once a week.

AITAH for feeling like she loves me and issued a "sex voucher" because of what I can provide? I haven't talked to her about my feelings yet, but did thank her and give her a hug.

My boyfriend works long hours as a blue collar worker. We sometimes don’t see each other for days because our work schedules don’t align. Because of this, we have a difficult time with intimacy. My boyfriend is a “physical touch” kind of guy. He always tells me that he cannot satisfy himself without me because he loves me so much. He doesn’t do anything unless we are together.

The thing is, I can’t wait days to satisfy myself. I personally do when he’s not home, but always think of him. He has told me in the past that he wants to be there when I do, and has expressed sadness if we do not share the intimacy together. I never promised anything though.

Well yesterday, I decided to pleasure myself when he was not home. He came home early and walked into our bedroom and surprised me. He seemed genuinely upset, like he wished I had waited until we were together. I personally did not feel like it was a big deal, and we got into an argument. I don’t think he needs to give me permission to satisfy myself. But I also feel bad because I haven’t been as intimate with him bc of our schedules and my energy levels. We talked about it and seem to have different opinions and never can meet in the middle. AITAH?

My bf(26) and I f(27) were planning on moving in together next year, but he told me I need to leave my cat with my mom. I’ve had my cat for 6 years now since she was a baby. He claims he doesn’t like animals and that cats shed and leave hair everywhere. He said if I keep the cat with me, we would never live together. If I’m being honest, he’s always said he didn’t want animals living in a place he stays since we’ve been together and I honestly didn’t think it would be a deal breaker. We’ve been together for 8 years but I find it hard to part ways with my baby. I tried to compromise and tell him she wouldn’t be allowed in the bedroom but he mentioned the kitchen and the couch and it’s breaking my heart. I feel like I have to choose between my cat or him.

EDIT: I got my cat when we broke up and we got back together in a couple of months. I didn’t get her out of spite. Let’s clear that up.

So... I was about 2 months postpartum, when my brothers friend calls me at about 8pm I just got my brand-new baby to sleep and I was actively passing out on the couch while trying to eat some oatmeal. When I get a call from this guy who NEVER calls me. So I answer hoping nothing is wrong with him or my brother. He opens with hey, I'm going to shoot myself in the backyard. My heart drops and I beg him not to, he's dead set on it and is telling me what to do with his dogs ashes and the videos he took of her. I'm crying, now my baby is crying I'm sooo hormonal and sleep deprived it's insane. I told him to wait and I would come over to talk, he lives about a half hour away. This was the first time I drove with my newborn baby, I was hoping the first time I drove with her would be to a Dr appointment lol somewhere calm. So I'm driving and realize my bf is going to get home and we're going to be gone so I call him and let him know what's going on. He was like CALL 911 I didn't want to because I know cops can make situations worse... But I wasn't exactly thinking clearly... So he convinced me to call 911.. the whole time my baby is crying her little eyes out so keep that in mind.... Well... When I get there my brother is hanging out in his car none the wiser like literally so chill has no idea what's going on ( they live together) I told him and he's like 🤦omg he's always doing this... I had NO IDEA he cried wolf about killing himself frequently.... Plus remember just a few weeks postpartum so my hormones are insane. I'm crying my eyes out in a full panic. I didn't even bring the diapers and my baby had a blowout... So that was another layer of stress...

So this guy he freaks out when I tell him i called the cops, but the cops get there and he's still there... I'm not 100% on what happened to cause all of this but he ended up getting beat up, tazed and arrested... He was sent to jail where he didn't fair well then a mental institution where guess what .. he didn't fair well... He assaulted an officer at one point so more charges... He lost his job and now he's struggling to find a job because of a felony.... He keeps sending me videos of the body cam footage where you can see me crying and begging an officer to stop hurting him with my baby crying in the background... My brother and I aren't close but he was holding me and trying to make me feel better... Once it was all over I had to change my baby and wrap her up in a rag because there was poop everywhere.... So aitah for calling the cops it's not something I would have normally done I was just so emotional and sleep deprived I think I made the wrong call...

Oh also this was about 8 months ago, so after all his messages I kinda went from caring a lot about everyone to not caring at all about anything other than my beautiful baby lol so there is a little guilt for that too. Because now I feel jaded.