I met Simon in July 2024 during an African jam in Montreal. Something clicked, it's like if we knew each other since always. We exchange phone numbers and called each others a few times afterwards.

Bare in mind that he was 60 (looked much younger) and I am 40, and i am still modeling. I didn't know what our potential connection could be like, but I felt that he could be a good friend, at the same time by now in my life I try to keep in mind that even if men are kind they probably also want to see what's under my skirt, so I generally keep a polite distance.

At that time, i was living in the south of Montreal and he was living way up north, about 15 hours driving, working as a school teacher for native American kids on a reserve. He was gone all year round except for summer breaks (so that's when we met.). My daughter just turned 18 and I started to think about a nomadic life but didn't act on it yet. My appartment at the time had so many problems and my landlords were awful people.

One day in September, Simon called to tell me that he just bought a house, only 5 hours north of Montreal, in a town he loved. That was the second or third time we've ever talked, so I found it surprising that he would share that with me. Later, I learned that his parents died when he was 19, he never really had a family, and also even tho he loved his job, he recently had to move to teach to another reserve further away, so he needed to make another circle of friends and it was still pretty lonely.

That's also why he bought a house, it was very cheap and he could move there directly after his retirement, that he planned for summer 2026. He could also go during summer breaks meanwhile.

Still, I was surprised that he shared this with me as we barely knew each other. It seems like he already considered me his friend (or potential girlfriend we don't know)

Because he could go to live in the house only during school breaks, and because I hated my appartment, he proposed me to go and stay there, for free. He said that he would be happy that somebody could be in the house from September to June. Especially in the winter time.

Of course I refused for several reasons including that I barely knew him. But also, I couldn't just break my lease and go, AND, it was way too far and in the middle of nowhere. Yes it was free but what do you want me to do up there? Its still 5 hours driving north and even tho the town is active in the summer it's dead in the winter. In the summer, when it's whale season, there's loads of tourist, it's next to Tadoussac, it's very popular. But in the winter it goes back to his population (164 people lol).

But yes, the house was amazing, with the view directly on the St-Laurent River. I said thank you and wish him luck to find somebody but I refused. I said maybe next year but I really didn't know.

Then we barely kept in touch. I did my last year in my appartment. Which was so shitty because I payed 1400$ per month and I was gone more than half the time... I went in the states for a modeling tour for over a month, later on I backpacked in Thailand, came back and went in California... My daughter turned 19 in March 2025, she was working, we were barely seeing each other.

I've lived in Quebec for her all my life as her dad lives there. We were together for 3 years and then broke up but we stayed in good terms. Even tho I've never really want to stay in Quebec, I did, I needed to respect the person whom I made the kid with and not just fuck off. So I traveled a lot with her when I could, brought her in 17 countries total, like once per year. Before she entered school for good at 9 years old (I homeschool before) we spend 3 to 4 months per year in cheap countries like Mexico, Guatemala, India, Thailand... Everytime I needed to come back I felt depressed but that was it. I was looking forward to be free. But when you are finally free, then you're a bit older and a bit more scared. I was almost 40 when she started to be independent and my professional life was doing so well, so I really didn't know if I felt like starting everything again.

I became a mom so young, I had so many responsibilities from a young age and I was more and more thinking about leaving everything and going nomadic. Or just, travel with no retuen ticket, just to see where life would bring me.

Finally after my trip in Thailand I made the big decision to leave my appartment. So I ended up my lease in June 2025 and gave or sold everything. I kept the equivalent of maybe 2 full cars.

I found an amazing place where to stay for the 2 months of summer I was staying with one of the organizer of a festival where I participated as a seller. I'm a designer so I have a lot of fabric, 2 sewing machines, dyes, a small mannequin... That's one of my job and I love it. Anyhow, I worked very hard all summer long because I knew it would be my main income, all of this while my roommate had pretty serious mental health issues (she was slowly lowering her meds) and the reason why her psychiatrist didn't keep her at the hospital after an accident was because she had a "safety net" at home. That was basically me. She didn't realize the weight she put on me, and I needed to manage her, keep the house perfectly clean for her to be happy and all this while creating and dyeing clothes, posting on social media... I made it. I smoked a lot of weed and sadly skipped many meals because it wasn't a priority.

In August 2025, last year, I needed to start thinking about what was next. Then of course Simon came back in my mind. I thought I could maybe go to the house for 2 or 3 months. Just before leaving for a big trip somewhere during winter time... What I earned during the festival plus the money I had aside was ok to live for some months but not too many in Quebec as it's more expensive - my goal was to fly somewhere more affordable, maybe in November (again Thailand, or South America) and make and sell clothes up there (and I finally made it in Peru! 😀)

So I reached to Simon, he was very happy if I could go stay at the house from September. For me, his offer and attitude being exactly the same as the previous proved me that he was truly looking for somebody to keep the house more than a romantic relation. And anyway, he wouldn't be there cause it was school season.

He told me he was aware I wouldn't find any work up there so if I didn't have money, it was ok for me to not pay rent. I still sent him 400$ per month when I was there. When he said that, I found him definitely strangely too generous but I made his astrologic chart and that reassured me a lot, it said he loves to share his place and have roomates... That he was truly generous.. I still believe this, but yeah.

We talked and I decided to first go to have a look at the house. I drive 5 hours to get there and of course I felt in love. The country side, the view straight on the river, being able to walk on the beach... He told me that his good friend Peter and his wife from the village could help me with anything I needed. That there was a community and that they already knew about me, that I was welcome.

So I brought all my stuff. The decoration was pretty ordinary or absent so I took charge of it. I asked Simon by phone first and he said that it was ok as long as I wasn't bringing furniture. He knew that he would finally bring everything he owned in the house in the summer 2026, but he didn't really have any decorations yet. Just the basic were there like a fridge, over, one table, one comfortably seat, one mirror. Not much for a 5 rooms house. So I made his place very pretty and I was sending him pictures from time to time.

I finally kinda started a life there. I made Peter and his wife who was the owner of the only b&b in town. I also learned that my good friend Catherine knew them for like 40 years, I didn't know. They were all from Chicoutimi (the closest city). They were all more or less 60 years old but there was also younger people of my age in the village.

I started to see them regularly and have some drinks. We planned for me to work at the b&b next summer. I met everyone else of the community. Partied with them a lot, came back at the house pretty trashed at midnight regularly, after drinking smoking and playing music. They were very good people (but good drinkers). Everyone in Quebec knows that people in Tadoussac are the greatest party people in the province.

The rest of the time, I was smoking weed alone at the house working on my clothes or making music. It was a bit heaven. Sometimes I was visiting Catherine in Chicoutimi. Remember I have never been a young adult, I went straight to teenager to mom and I couldn't sleep or wake up when I wanted. I needed to care for my baby everyday at 21.

The fact that my rent wasn't too high also allowed me to get high as much as I wanted and experience for once what it was to not care about tomorrow. I even started my page on Reddit where I was filming my progress with my flute, guitar and dance.

The more the time flew the less I was thinking about my initial plan to travel in the winter time. November came: I made a small market with Catherine where I was seller my clothes. Then December came, it was family time for Christmas. Harsh and cold winter started and I discovered that I could in fact deal with it. I was shoveling the yard and it was taking me more than an hour. I was bringing wood and making a fire downstairs. I was making a big grocery that would last at least a week cause sometimes it was impossible to go to the grocery because of the road conditions. I got used to the life up there. I was talking to Simon sometimes but not often. It was weird to be in his house, after all I saw him once in my life for like 2 hours. But I trusted Peter, all his friends and the community.

Then started my awful tooth pain in January.

That same tooth that made me suffer when I was in Thailand the year before. When I was in Chiang mai, I went to the dentist, they checked my tooth, said it was done and I needed to get a root canal. Otherwise it should be taken off. I was a bit flipping out. I decided to think about it first, and then decide... But then, I don't know why or how, but the pain went completely away! So I did nothing except taking care of my teeth the best I could. Btw I was really scared because I already had a filling on this tooth 2 year before and they NEVER could get it to freeze totally. So I could feel everything. They weren't sure if the filling would last because they couldn't do it properly. They tried to freeze it 3 times on 2 different occasions and 2 different dentists never found the nerve 😭 so I really didn't want to get anything done again on this tooth (unless I was under anesthesia)

Months passed, and the same pain came back January 2026. But then it didn't go away.

One week, two weeks... Then, I met an old friend who was back from Mexico - she just returned from the dentist!

So I thought, what a good idea. For the same price I could pay for a flight, and get the dentist plus a little trip! Canada is 3 or 4 times more expensive for dentists procedures. And, I read that it's much more common in Mexico to get it done under anesthesia. I really wanted to go and get done with it. I planned to travel for like a month.

At this time, I loved my life in the house in the north even if it included a lot of drugs. I was really free. I was a bit stressed to think about working at the b&b in the summer for different reasons. Even if Peter was fun to party with he could be pretty authoritarian out of nowhere especially when drunk and I couldn't really picture him having authority above me. Everyone else in the town also had some type of issues and none of them traveled the world as a freelancer all their lives like me. But I liked them because they were all very alive.

Another thing that was stressing me is being a pretty single girl of my age in a isolated town basically like a prey in a town of haunters. All the men would soon come to know about it. The day I was flying to Mexico, a guy I have never met from my town invited me for a ski-doo ride. Of course I didn't go because I was flying out but 2 other ones also contacted me and I really don't know how all of this would have ended. All the women of my age were either already taken, ugly or/and fat, or had mental health issues.

Not mentioning Simon - sometimes during parties with Peter a d his wife they were mentioning him, saying I might end up with him when he comes back. I was always telling them to stop because I barely know him. But they were like "well we don't know!"

They were like their parents to him, that's what I understood. Because sometimes I would try to reach him and it could take 2 weeks before he's get back to me but he was speaking with them on the phone regularly, at least once a week. Like it's not because you are in the north that you don't have Wi-Fi or a cell phone tower. Its 2026 for everyone even Cri native American Nations on Maingan.

He never told me anything meaning he expected more - except once. We were supposed to see each other at Christmas but we didn't. He was very sorry he couldn't come and he texted these words "I was burning desire to see you"

🫪 I didn't know what to reply from this so I didn't reply anything specifically to this. And then nothing along that line ever again. So ok, maybe he was drunk, no idea....

So when I decided to go to Mexico, I was basically going to the dentist in my head. I didn't have that much money aside at that time and I didn't really feel like traveling. I liked the little house in the north. All my skills were improving, dancing, playing piano, guitar and flute.

I just wanted to have an anesthesia. Peter was insisting on me going to the dentist in our town. I called and there was 2 months wait. It was the same everywhere. I was like fuck it it's not a big deal, it's one straight flight to Cancun, 5 hours, and I can go to the dentist next day and relax under the palm trees straight after. I reassured everyone I would be back fast.

But yeah.

You understood. I didn't get back fast. In fact, after Mexico I went in Peru and now, July 2026, I'm in Australia. I felt in love as it was meant to be. My daughter is fine and happy for me. And I'm, in fact, realizing my initial dream to travel the world with no return date.

And, believe it or not, I went to a dentist, got an X-ray. My tooth had nothing. I will never understand what the Thai dentist lied the year before. But it's like if life forced me to leave Canada.

Back in May, my boyfriend proposed to follow me in Canada, come in the little house for me, work at the b&b : I refused. I thought about Simon and that weird text from Christmas and I wasn't sure if bringing back a man in his house was a good idea. Coming to Australia also meant for me that I was not only leaving behind the house and all my things but I also wasn't going to work at the b&b.

So I decided that if they didn't have anyone to replace me, I wouldn't go to Australia and I would come back 'home'. But there was a woman in town who already asked for my job so they asked her and she was happy to take it. Which meant that I was free.

I took the craziest decision of my life to follow a guy literally to the other side of the world. We have been together for 4 months, I know it's sounds like nothing, but I felt in love at the first glance (him also) and we have plans for months ahead. We both can work as freelancers and since we've met, we are just both more and more successful in everything.

He caught his flight for Australia on May 14 and at that moment we didn't decide yet if we wanted to stay together. Well I wanted, but I have met many guys in my life who weren't serious, who basically wanted my butt for some time but then that was it. Everytime I hope it was different and everytime it wasn't different. And I have been with many older guys, much older than me. And I know I'm 41, but I might want a other kid. I just wanted to be with somebody at the same stage than me, and I found someone!

We finally made it clear that we both wanted to stay together and I bought my ticket for Australia. When we met at the airport, we decided to not be separated ever again 🥲 I arrived June 5.

So the main thing I was stressed about were my things at the house.

And that's what I wanted to talk about. I knew I wouldn't be able to make it short.

At this point of the story it kinda sound ridiculous but it's not. Simon is a very generous person but very disorganized. And, we don't know if he has romantic intentions towards me. But we probably think so.

I felt so bad not coming back home to clean all my things - I thought I was going to the dentist so of course my stuff were still everywhere. I lived there for 5 months. Dried food, bathroom stuff, all my crafts, dyes, paint, brushes, my instruments... What I put on the wall, carpets, curtains. And then not only my clothes, but the clothes I have made that are ready to sell, and the ones I planned to make and finish and more fabric to sew and create.... And... All my modeling stuff, dresses, wigs and makeup. Technically not that much in quantity but nothing was sorted or packed up.

I thought I wouldn't not follow love to come back home to clean a house.

And, luckily, a month before Simon was going to be back at the house, my daughter went with his friend in Tadoussac. So I asked her if she could pack and clean my stuff and she accepted.

I wrote to Simon, I explained the situation, told him I felt in love and decided to go to Australia. I told him I felt very bad but fortunately my daughter could come up and clean.

And that he could take anything he wanted (including my 500$ AC...) and that we could talk about it when he wanted. I said I was that if there was still things upstairs after my daughter came he could put everything in the basement (full of mold, on concrete, some patches of water, there's nothing in the basement cause it will mold but I just didn't want to be in the way and felt bad so worst case he could put it there until I come back or somebody could take it for me)

He took one month to answer to me.

One month during which I was so worried and felt bad everyday and waited for his news everyday. My daughter told me she went already but she could go back if I needed. I was waiting for his confirmation before telling her she could go and to arrange for her to find the keys somewhere.

He finally wrote me back and just dismissed pretty much absolutely everything I said. And by the time he answered my daughter found a job and couldn't go anymore.

He answered quite calm but said it was disrespectful of me, that he will "bill me soon for all the time he spent just packing the food". And that I should be aware that the basement was full of mold. But then he went on telling me that if I wanted my stuff to be there he would charge me 100$ per month 😂😂😂

I couldn't believe it because I found lockers in the area where I was before (a city) for 30 or 40$ a month. Heated, in good conditions. There's no way a dirty cave could be that expensive lol.

But before I answered be sent one other message, he added "But if you want to come back and have a room I would ask you 250$ per month)

So not much difference for either my stuff in the basement or in a room where I could stay.

But what would I do in that area? None of the work I have as a freelancer work in a town where nothing happens. So that was just a weird proposition. He's retired and has friends in the area: yes I liked the people there but I'm not retired lol.

I talked with Cathrine early July and she said she could take my stuff, which I think is incredibly kind and I would never expect anyone to do for me. It happens that Catherine loves to clean! Like she was really happy about doing it.

She was supposed to go at the house in mid-July but eventually told me that she will go only in August. Meanwhile she talked to Simon, I said is it ok? He'll bring his stuff from Montreal and have my stuff also between his stuff? She said yes... She said he didn't feel bitter on the phone...

Meanwhile, I knew that Simon wanted to bill me for packing my food. Which shouldn't realistically take more than 30 minutes but I know he's disorganized and it looked like a big deal to him. I couldn't imagine the rest of the house....so I sent him 300$. Even if he wasn't at the house yet,...he was officially moving in only July 20th. That's why I was hoping Catherine would go before him.

Then he wrote me back a few hours after telling me his bank wouldn't accept the deposit because it was on his phone it should be on his email, that I should cancel it and make another one with his bank. It was the first he answered to me within hours: because the paiement didn't pass.

I sent it again the way he wanted and, as usual, didn't get any news, any answer, any thanks. It was the same also for the money I was sending during winter tho. He said thanks one or twice. I think he's truly disorganized but it's just weird that he would be able at last for once to answer fast when he didn't get the paiement but fucking slow for everything else, including one month after my message saying I won't be back.

So Catherine called me this morning. She said Peter and his wife just came to her place to bring her bags with my stuff. And she was very disappointed. And told me she prefer to tell me rather to keep it against me. She said I should have asked her at the start (which I did but she changed her date and told me she spoke to Simon and it was ok)

Bare in mind that absolutely nothing in my situation changed since the last 2 months. I planned it, told them, found somebody to replace me at the b&b and my daughter to pack the house.

She received bag with all my stuff and half of it was destroyed. Simon just put everything together: food, crafts, paint, clothes. She said she threw half of it in the bin.

😞

So when he mentioned billing me for packing my food meant in fact packing everything in the same bag with no notion of being careful with anything.

And i think people in the village had been talking about me and changed some facts. None of them knows or remembers that my daughter could have done it. Even Catherine. I told her already a month ago. Now she said that I should have asked her at the start like in June, but I told Simon my daughter could go and he just never replied. And never considered it. Catherine said he couldn't reply because he was in the north in June, I told her that he was still talking to Peter and he wife regularly, it's not a reason.

Also my daughter and her friends would have HAPPILY taken all my food. They're 20 years old and all the food would have been used. This is sad 😢

And not only that, many of my crafts and my guitar and my flute. Like so many things she would have liked to take. I don't even know where is my flute, it's a wooden alto and it worth 1000$. 😔 Also Catherine didn't hear about my AC, so he just kept it and put all my stuff in bags. I really hope my flute is fine.

I understand it's my fault I left everything behind. But nobody communicates with me.

When I was in Peru, Peter started to miss me and started to call up to once a day. He complained about me not answering and I needed to tell him that I wasn't even calling my mom or daughter that often. That I like to talk in person.... He understood and calmed down. So he's able to talk and communicate... Why did nobody told me about the bags, about them picking up the bags at Simon's place, about bringing them at Catherine's house?

I'm supper fast at answering. I talked with Catherine maybe 7 times since the beginning of the month. What I understand is that she feels she's between all of us so I don't want to put more on her shoulders.

But she clearly had a discussion with them this morning in which I wasn't portrait in a positive light. I said I'm sorry a thousand times, I wrote to Peter, he never replied so I made a series of 3 videos in french on my Instagram for him and others to understand what happened, how I'm following my dreams, how in love I am and how sorry I am for leaving my stuff at the house.

Then even if I find 2 persons that care about my stuff and send 300$ it's still not fine.

I understand it's not nice AT ALL. I regret to have left like that for the job I'm giving them but I don't regret to have followed love. I would understand any of their reaction ESPECIALLY if I could have the luck to communicate with one of them.

I don't even know why Peter got my bags, I don't know when Simon packed it. The time Simon took to write to me that he couldn't deposit my money would have been as long as writing to me that he was about to put all my stuff in one bag and somebody needed to come soon otherwise everything would be destroyed lol.

No communication. And it was ok until now, now it's like if I have been a monster and did nothing. I have been trying to do absolutely everything I could since 2 months with all the communications I could. Apart from Catherine I either have no answer or very slow answers.

My mom said that it's obvious he was in love with me and was expecting something. That maybe he had been dreaming about it for months. That's why he was charging me so much to put my stuff downstairs and so little to live there. Anyhow - before writing all of this I felt very bad and now I think it's ridiculous and I feel a little better. Its just material possessions. And I know what I've done is not good but its not the worst thing in the world.

I 20F have a 20M medium distance boyfriend. We have been together for about 16 months and I’ve noticed something that makes me want to call it quits. He lost his job a few months ago and i’ve since been responsible for the financial aspect of every time I visit him. It’s been like this for the better part of our relationship. I’ve thought about not seeing him until he’s able to fund my trip but that makes me feel selfish. At this point I’m financially exhausted and I don’t want to sabotage my relationship.

Minni Update/ Additional context: I’m always visiting due to my living situation with my roommate. He expressed in the past wanting to come over but that’s just not an option. This is why it’s so burdensome it’s not “just about money” I have to be financially responsible for every time we see each other.

When he had a job he did his part without worries. I’ve even had concerns about his mental health because it’s been over 6 months and it doesn’t seem he even has the drive.

I (27F) and my now fiancée (27M) got engaged this past Christmas after being together for 11 years. For context, my mother for the majority of our relationship (we started dating at 15) was very unkind to him and treated him poorly since he did not come from a wealthy family. She had her own vision for my life that I have not followed and I feel like she partially blames him and his family, who have accepted me as one of their own for years now, and is obviously jealous of the relationship I have with my future MIL. I’ve always been used to my mother essentially being a bully to me my whole life, and it no longer bothers me after the growth I’ve done in the last 5 or so years. The straw that has broken the camels back for me came this past weekend after going dress shopping with my MIL and SIL after my parents moved down south last month. We’re getting married May of next year and I was told that I had to find my dress sooner in the planning process since it can take a long time to arrive and alter. The majority of my immediate family moved south so none of them were able to be there for the appointment but I included them as much as possible with FaceTime and photos. My mother was aware of my appointment and every time I tried to call her she didn’t answer. Long story short I found my dress in that appointment and after telling her that information she proceeded to blow up my phone, whilst the workers are trying to take my measurements and go over ordering and so on, and get angry at me for finding my dress as she wanted me to go dress shopping during my visit the next month and find it there. What was supposed to be a moment of happiness and celebration turned to an argument.

Now onto my brother. He is 8 years older than me, got married in 2022 (I dropped out and did not attend-went to Disney world with my bf and sister instead after him and his now wife were not happy being called out for lying about skipping my college graduation for “camping” when they actually didn’t go and just skipped out for no reason). I do not have a good or close relationship with my brother after that, and I especially try to avoid his wife at all costs to avoid drama. They are the kind of people who try to make everything about them, and are very clearly the most performative and fake people. Her family is also extremely racist and transphobic (my sister is trans) and they have no respect for other people.

I want to enjoy my wedding and be able to be present in the moment and not worrying about my mother or brother causing problems by making the day about them or start some stupid rumors as they’ve done in the past, but my fiancée worries that uninviting them would cause more problems and be something I regret. AITAH if I uninvite them?

It was impossible to catch the fly so I just turned off all my lights and waited until the fly flew out into the hallway and quickly shut my door. Now I no longer have the fly in my apartment but it's buzzing around somewhere else around my building.

My bf(26) and I f(27) were planning on moving in together next year, but he told me I need to leave my cat with my mom. I’ve had my cat for 6 years now since she was a baby. He claims he doesn’t like animals and that cats shed and leave hair everywhere. He said if I keep the cat with me, we would never live together. If I’m being honest, he’s always said he didn’t want animals living in a place he stays since we’ve been together and I honestly didn’t think it would be a deal breaker. We’ve been together for 8 years but I find it hard to part ways with my baby. I tried to compromise and tell him she wouldn’t be allowed in the bedroom but he mentioned the kitchen and the couch and it’s breaking my heart. I feel like I have to choose between my cat or him.

EDIT: I got my cat when we broke up and we got back together in a couple of months. I didn’t get her out of spite. Let’s clear that up.

My mother (72F) lives in my (45F) home with me, my husband (50M) and our son (21M). Mom has lived with us for 11 years now, we bought our house 7 years ago but she moved in with us when we were still in an apartment. We offered her to stay with us then after a VERY LONG series of bad financial decisions on her part that led to her filing bankruptcy and not effectively holding down a job. We did not ask her for any money while we were still in the apartment, just asked her to pick up some groceries occasionally. We gave up our master bedroom with private bathroom in the apartment so she wouldn't have to share a bathroom with our son at the time.

When we were getting ready to buy a house, a full year out, we asked her before we even started looking if she was planning to continue staying with us or not. We all discussed and agreed that if she was staying with us when we moved, then we needed some contribution from her because we needed to build an emergency fund and some savings. I had been covering all the expenses but it was unreasonable for us to do that forever. She agreed. By this time she was working again and she had 4 years to save money and stabilize. She said she wanted to stay with us, so she was invited to participate in the house shopping process.

We went with a new build and came down to two options IF she was staying with us: a 3 bed/3 bath with an open den, but the bathrooms were not attached to the bedrooms, or what we chose - a 4 bed/3 bath with ensuite bathrooms - one being a "jack and jill" connecting my son's room to the smallest room, which is my office. Mom has an entire quarter that's entirely hers. If she was not going to stay with us, we were going to go with a 3/2 instead. Mom liked the one we purchased best, but it was a significant price jump as the square footage difference was significant. When I ran the numbers, we agreed on $500 per month from her.

Well, we made the deposit, waited a year for the build, finally moved in and money was not forthcoming from her. She did contribute to some new house expenses - around $2000 total that we did NOT ask her for, just things she decided to buy "for the house". After 9 months I sat down with her and said we appreciated the house items, but as we talked about we did need her to contribute the $500 each month.

It went fine for a while but then she secretly racked up a ton of debt again (on her own, I have no idea on what, all on credit cards) And she started getting passive aggressive and making little resentful comments that she couldn't do things because she had no money. I didn't know about the debt at the time because she is not transparent and hides things. It has only gotten worse over time and as she's gotten older. She's now retired but her retirement income alone is almost equal what I make in a month. She has no expenses other than her debts and what she buys for herself.

We pay for her phone and tablet - we added her to our family plan and her share is about $75/month. We buy all the groceries and there is plenty of everything, she only needs to buy something if it's a food the rest of us wouldn't eat or buy. She wanted Netflix and paid for it for 6 months and then her card kept declining so we took it over. She wanted a new mattress, we replaced her whole set. We don't ask for help with utilities or anything else. She does let us use her car because ours died unexpectedly and I can't take on another car payment right now, but we rarely use it as I work from home and we don't go out often. The mortgage payment has gone up substantially in the last 7 years due to taxes and insurance increases. I've never asked for an extra cent from her.

But every month it's like pulling teeth to get her to contribute. She also doesn't lift a finger around the house, including cleaning her own messes (like dishes). I know she has also complained to her friends and some family members that we "charge her rent". I don't know why she thinks she should just get a free ride from me. We've had a difficult relationship since I was a teenager but I'm an only child and I didn't want to see my mom end up homeless. She's also had health issues and there's no one else to look out for her.

I don't think I am, but I'm starting to feel like I'm taking crazy pills with how she's acting about it. AITAH for charging my mother $500 a month rent/room and board?

I can’t even believe I’m posting here, but here I am. I’ve been stewing for 5 hours now. So here it is. Went to the pool this evening. We are at the baby pool as I have two young kids (4 year old and my 3 year old…just turned 3 last week). My 4 year old has some behavioral issues but was playing so nicely with my 3 year old. They were minding their business and it was honestly the first time I sat around the pool in a chair, relaxing and not having to jump up to intervene. I’m on high alert all the time making sure there is not too much splashing it commotion. A mom comes with her 3 year old (I find out she is 3 later…that will come). The woman’s daughter was so sweet…looking for kids to play with and my two were the only in the baby pool at that time. She kept going up to my kids and saying, “hi, hi, Hi.” The HI’s went on for at least ten minutes. My kids were just splashing around. Mom kept saying to Daughter, “come back to me they don’t want to play.” This was while Mom was sitting on edge of baby pool. My 4 year old kindly asked for space (Mom didn’t hear that). This is something we worked on a lot to get to the point of asking for space and not just lashing out. My 3 year old is oblivious and just enjoying the pool. 5 minutes later, Mom says to her Daughter verbatim, “just remember that not all kids have parents who teach them manners.” I sat there thinking if I should just walk away but ultimately, I walked over and told her that was so freaking rude. She didn’t have to make a dig at me while trying to teach her Daughter a lesson. My husband was across in the big pool with our kids when I confronted her. I was not yelling or making a scene but wanted to make my point clear that was so rude. She told me that her Daughter is 3 and would never ignore another child that tried to play with her but would kindly say no thank you. She told me I’m the reason my kids have no manners. I was in disbelief. My kids were minding their own business. She commented that my kids don’t listen because when I told them to say hi to her Daughter when she kept coming over to them, they didn’t listen. Well why didn’t her Daughter listen when told that my kids didn’t want to play with her. We have worked so hard on 4 years olds behavior (we hired a Behavioral specialist)and they were so good at the pool tonight. Being told I’m a shitty mom really broke me. I feel like kids will be kids but apparently a 4 and 3 year old should act better. My husband is supportive but acts differently in those situations and said I would have been better off just not approaching her and letting her comment go. I’m so in my head about this. I also feel like someone was filming this altercation and it’s going to end up on a neighborhood page.

in December of last year, my fiance (28M) (now husband) and i (25F) offered our friend (23F) to move into our house. she was living with her parents and it was an incredibly hectic living situation. they had 6 people living in a 3 bedroom house, one of whom was sleeping on the couch. she was constantly spending the night at our house because of how hectic everything was, so we thought why not help her out and offer her a place to stay? she moved in in January of this year.

we never really discussed a timeline which was a mistake on our part. as time has gone on, we have come to realize that we really just want it to be the two of us. we are just starting to settle into married life with each other. we thought having a roommate wouldn’t be something that bothered us at all but we want our space back. it just feels like we never really have any alone time anymore.

i feel really guilty about asking someone to move out prior to it being a standard “lease” length of 12 months. to be honest i just don’t know that i can handle it for that much longer. many of my other friends and family members are saying it is perfectly reasonable and not a big deal at all but i can’t shake the feeling like i’m going to be causing a massive inconvenience for the sake of my comfort.

so yeah, WIBTAH if i asked her to move out? i’d be very flexible on time time but would like it to be sometime in the next 2-3 months.

edited to add ages

another edit: everyone has moved/will be out of her parents’ house by the end of august.

Our garage is completely full, to the point it is unusable as a garage or to store literally a single other thing, and the thing is, none of it is ours, not one thing, it's my mother-in-law's hoarding and she doesn't even live with us. It's holiday decorations she hasn't needed or used in a decade at this point. When I ask her and my wife to go through it neither my wife or her mother seem to have any interest in clearing it out. I even said "I'll be the bad guy, I'll be the one who calls a trash clean-up" because it's ALL trash. Things nobody has even looked at in so long nobody actually knows what's in there. This isn't a mess I let happen, I moved into my wife's house and the mess was already here. The past two time the two of them promised to clean it the first time they spent the entire day playing VR games, the next time they "worked hard on a corner" which amounted to a single trip to the convenience center. The best reply I get from either of them is they want to go through it. Again, it's nothing either of them have wanted or needed for over a decade and I just think it's time for it to go. I'm at a point where I might need to spend money on storage because I have a garage I cannot use full of shit. AITAH if I put a timeline on this being removed before I have it removed?

I (24M) wrote my girlfriend (21F) a custom choose-your-own-adventure novel (around 430 pages) for our anniversary. Each chapter also has a drawing tied to it that I made myself. She’s the main character, there are multiple endings depending on the choices she makes, and I spent a lot of time writing and pouring my heart into it.

It’s now been about 7 months, and she still hasn’t finished it. To be fair, I completely understood why she didn’t read much since we’re in college and during the semester she was busy with finals, and had recently been diagnosed with depression and major anxiety. I’ve been supporting her as best I can and I never expected her to prioritize my book over school. What has been bothering me is that it’s now summer. She works a part-time job, but she has several days off each week, has been in a much better mood, and has continued going to her therapist, but she still hasn’t finished it.

I know everyone reads at their own pace, and I don’t think she’s obligated to finish it by a certain date. Still, I can’t help feeling hurt because I poured so much love and effort into something that was made specifically for her.
I eventually told her yesterday that I felt a little sad that she still hadn’t finished reading it. I was careful not to accuse her of anything or say she was a bad girlfriend. I just wanted to be honest about how I was feeling.
She immediately started crying and said that if I felt that way, then I must think she doesn’t love me enough. I told her that wasn’t what I meant at all. I don’t think she loves me any less. I was only trying to express that I felt hurt that something so meaningful to me still hadn’t been finished after all this time.

The conversation ended with me comforting her and reassuring her that she could read it at her own pace. We hugged, and things were okay afterward. The only thing that’s still bothering me is that it felt like my original concern never really got addressed. Once she became upset, the conversation shifted entirely to comforting her, and I ended up feeling like my feelings were left on the sidelines. So, AITA for feeling hurt about this in the first place?

EDIT: I forgot to mention that she’s told me before that the idea of someone writing her a book was really romantic. She also really loves choose your own adventure games. We play them together often, such as Until Dawn, Detroit Become Human, and The Quarry. I also understand that 430 pages is a lot 😅 but that’s if you follow all possible endings. The average ending is around 130 pages. Sorry for not bringing it before.

I’m kinda a messy person in my own house, but I hate it when my parents mess with my stuff and so I repeatedly tell them not to. They never cared and always said they will stop doing that if I get more tidy, but I’m too fucking tired to be tidy every single day. They frequently mess with my stuff and I rmb very clearly they took it away and put it in some random spot, and this happened more than once. I thus kept asking them where they put it, they kept telling me they didn’t even touch it even though I know they did, and the kept on saying they didn’t, I thus complained in an “impolitely tone and kept on asking where they put it, they never tell me where and I always have to find it myself. Now they are crashing out and saying “why do other people’s kids listen to them all the time” “I hate my life” etc and I just feel like I gotta hold my tears in because I’m tired, I’m so fucking tired, I’m tired of this and tired of the motherfucking world and geopolitical issues but all my family ever tells me is “be optimistic” “stop getting brainwashed by left wing content” and “what if you find the right guy (when I’m les), I know these are kinda unrelated, but it all comes rushing back the moment these things happen, you know? I’m sorry, I just gotta rant

Me 19 f and my very close friend 23 f just had the stupidest argument, in summary:

We were playing an online game, My friend had a song stuck in her head to she kept singing these two lines over and over and OVER AGAIN, me and our other friend “harry” 20m told her it was frustrating and she just kept going.
I muted her because I didn’t want to get even more frustrated than I already was, I DID let her know I was going to mute her because I was getting upset.
I let everyone know it was my last game and I was going to leave after, during that round I died early so I left as there was nothing I could do.

She then texted me why I didn’t want to play and if it was because I was upset with her, I told her
“No im not dude, I muted you because the singing the same thing over and over was getting quite annoying, I left because I’m going to sing. Don’t know why you think it’s about you.” Because at that point I was still frustrated and wanted to see why she thought it was about her.

She called me a bitch and bitchy because I was very honest in my messages that the singing was annoying and that not everything is about her. She then brought our other friend into it and when I told her it was none of his business she responded with
“The reason why they were brought into like I have said multiple times now I said to harry I don’t think you’re upset with me but he said that you were find before & that cause of you muting me that you may be angry with me so I texted you to see if he was right that’s why they’re brought into this cause you got bitchy with me & I told you I didn’t think you were.”

Keep in mine I was the same before she joined and when she joined UP UNTIL her repeated singing ordeal. She also earlier in her argument was trying to be all saintly because she “checked up on me.” But here it said she only did it to see if he was right?

I’m happy to take the ah title if I I’m deemed so but I genuinely don’t think I am.

So let me preface this that I view money in marriage as joint. My money is her money and her money is my money.

I work and my wife is a SAHM with our 1 year old son. I recently got a new job and have finally been able to save money each month. We have debts like student loans and a car loan and our mortgage but my monthly income ends with about $3k extra each month after all our debts and expenses. We have about 20k saved and about 150k in retirement at the age of 30.

Just painting a picture of our finances because I'm asking about money. I know I'm super lucky in this economy. So here's the question.

I want to buy a 3D printer that costs $750 but my wife does not want us to spend that money as she wants to violently save as much as we can to buy a bigger house for a second kid.

I want to do this as a hobby and I feel like I have a right to spend some money. The thing is she doesn't splurg at all so she isn't being hypocritical. She says she would want a new purse for that much too but doesn't get it.

I get this is privileged to ask and some of you will say "you make enough to live I'd be happy in life just having that" but this question is more about if I'm being an ass to my wife if I buy this printer anyway without her approval.

Edit: thank you all for your responses. I'm not used to more than like 5 comments on my posts! Appreciate the advice. My wife has found this post and is making fun of me for the ratio. She did agree to a "fun" budget so time to do some more research into the continuing costs!

I (F18) don’t have laundry in my apartment, so I have to go to a laundromat a couple of blocks away. I needed four washing machines, but they were all occupied. There’s about 20 washing machines in total, varying in sizes. I waited my turn, and when I arrived, no one else was waiting for machines. As people started taking their clothes out, I put mine in. I had three washers going and only needed one more.

I was waiting for a machine that was about to finish when this lady walked in and parked her cart in front of it. I told her I was waiting for that machine and had already been waiting for about half an hour. She said she only needed one machine. I replied, “You can wait your turn then. I’ve been waiting for a while.”

I turned around for literally one second to grab my detergent, and she started loading her clothes into the machine. I walked outside because I could feel myself getting really frustrated and needed a minute to cool off. After about five minutes, I went back inside and ended up waiting another five minutes for a different machine to finish.

Side note: Most of the women in the laundromat were in their late 50s to 70s. I was the youngest person there. When I came back inside, it was obvious they were talking about me. They were trying to speak in code in Spanish, but I speak Spanish pretty well, so I understood what they were saying.

Eventually, my three washing machines finished, but now all the dryers were occupied. I put my clothes in a cart and waited. There were already people waiting for dryers before me so I let them go first. I noticed a couple of dryers only had a few minutes left, so I stood off to the side, waiting.
The same lady who had taken my washing machine came over to the drying area and started talking to a woman whose dryers were about to finish. It was obvious they were friends. I watched them glance at me, and then I heard the woman say, “I’m going to give you both of my dryers.”
I immediately spoke up and said, “No, I’ve been waiting here. I at least need one dryer so I can start drying my clothes.”

Instead, the woman taking her clothes out blocked my path with her cart and let the lady who had originally taken my washing machine take both dryers. At this point I was furious, but I kept it to myself. The frustration was definitely very visible on my face, but I didn’t say anything. Another dryer finished a minute later, so I walked around them and put half of my clothes in it. I could feel them glaring at me.
I still needed one more dryer. I noticed another dryer had been finished for about five minutes, but no one had come to get their clothes. I asked the laundromat attendant if she could remove them so I could use the dryer. She wanted to make sure the owner wasn’t still inside, so she started asking around.

While she was doing that, someone else emptied another dryer, so I thought, Perfect, I’ll just use this one. I started loading my clothes when the same woman who had blocked my path grabbed the dryer door, got right up in my face, and said in Spanish, “You need to wait your turn. I was here before you and I need that dryer. You’ve had a bad attitude this whole time.”

She was basically snarling at me with this gross passive aggressive grin. What she said sounds more insulting in Spanish than it does in English.I told her there was no reason to speak to me like that. At that point, I was seeing red. I regret this part, but I just let her have the dryer. I knew I had to calm myself down because I was getting so frustrated to the point that could’ve started to cry.

A few minutes later, my mom showed up to help me fold my laundry, and I told her everything that had happened. Coincidentally, she actually knew the woman who had been nasty to me. My mom confronted her (not disrespectfully) but she assertively and loudly asked why she had been treating me that way. The woman replied that she didn’t know I was my mom’s daughter. My mom said, “So you wouldn’t have treated her like shit if you knew she was my daughter?”

They started arguing, and the woman accused me of lying. She claimed the friend she gave the machines to had been there before me and that her friend had to go to work, which was why she let her cut in front of me. I told her I had things to do too, and I didn’t care if her friend had to work. First of all, if she wasn’t even done with her own laundry, why was she giving her dryers away to someone else? Second, I know she saw me waiting for the washing machines. She knew I was there way before her friend. We made eye contact multiple times, so that excuse was complete bullshit.

I finally lost my cool and said to her in Spanish, “You’re too ugly to be acting like the laundromat mafia. You have nothing else to do with your life so this makes you feel important.” It sounds a lot less cheesy in Spanish.
She immediately says back, “Who are you to call me ugly when you’re fat?” For context, yes, I’m overweight. I responded, “I can change that I’m fat. You can’t change that you’re ugly and a bitch.”

My mom had my back the whole time and another lady who in the laundromat (not involed) was quietly signaling to my mom that I was not lying about what happened. The whole argument lasted maybe two minutes. After that, everyone went quiet. We folded our laundry and left, but I could still hear her gossiping with the friend she had given the dryers to.

I told this story to my friend afterward, and she thinks I went too far by calling the woman ugly. I felt a little bad afterward, but overall I don’t regret standing up for myself. AITAH?

I (25f) have been hiking, rock climbing, and travelling for the past couple of years. My sister Leah (20f) said she wanted to get into hiking and do a trip together. I was excited at the idea but told her she'd have to do some hikes to build some endurance and be in good shape for a hiking trip so that she would enjoy her time. She lives about 7 hours away from mountains while I live a couple hours away. She came up to visit me and did 4 hikes and loved it - great!

Now we are trying to pick a destination and all of a sudden she thinks she is a professional mountaineer and traveler who will only go to the most exotic destinations in the world. I've suggested the Azores in Portugal (our family comes from the Azores so I though that would be a good idea) but thats too basic. Lofoten Islands in Norway are also too basic because its in the continent of Europe and thats not cool enough. Ok, so I suggest Thailand and again that is also not cool enough. She wants to go to Socotra Yemen or Kyrgyzstan. She has only ever traveled to England as a 10 year old so I said I don't think that's a great idea and that she needs to lower her expectations a bit.

Today I see that she purchased an ice axe. At this point I am loosing my mind a little but because somehow after 4 hikes, Leah thinks she is a professional traveler and mountaineer now despite the fact that I tried to take her rock climbing and she could not make it up the easiest walls. How she thinks she is going to ice climb and where she plans on doing this (she'd need to get on a plane to get to a mountain with ice climbing) is beyond me. By now i'm pretty frustrated because she has no idea what she's even doing and is not living in reality. I responded and told her that she needs to be a bit more realistic as she doesn't have the money, experience/knowledge, skill, or fitness to go ice climbing. She also clearly has not done any research because if she had she'd see that most people rent mountaineering supplies if they are going to ice climb as its very expensive and also difficult to transport. Leah freaked out and says i'm too negative, she's blocking me from her stories, and she's an adult so she can do whatever she wants.

AITAH for telling Leah that she's not being realistic?

Edit to provide the transcripts:

I responded to her story of the ice axe saying "Leah who do you think you are"

to which she said "idk why youre so fucking negative. Im not even going to try and make my point here, its fucking useless with you. U fucking shit on everything I do. idk why you think you have a say in what I do im not a fuckign child leave me the fuck alone.

i said "you arent living in reality. You've been on like 5 hikes and dont even know how to rock climb. If you did ice climbing you would rent the gear anyawy because its really expensive and difficult to transport. Im literally trying to help you because you dont know what you're doing"

To also give more context about why she said im so negative and I shit on everything she does - its because ive told her I don't like the new guy shes seeing because he has been caught in multiple lies, been posessive, and constantly stands her up.

To give a little background while keeping things anonymous I'm 27m and my wife is 30f

We just recently had our first kid 5 weeks old.
We are living paycheck to paycheck with some government assistance.
I took my entire pat leave off due to multiple complications during and after the pregnancy to the point I was solo for 10 days while taking care of her.

At that time I was also applying to other jobs to make more income since we both came to the choice it would be more economical for her to be a stay at home mom.
This was her idea and I support her in anything!

I ended up landing two jobs one locally that would net me an extra 900 a month after tax that I am currently doing training for (not including OT which is practically guaranteed.) and the other which would require us to move back to the coast (which I'm doing for her because she wants to be much closer to a beach (we live in the Midwest) I would prefer to stay way from the coast)

Now I'm in a pinch and she is extremely sleep deprived.

I have to complete 20 extremely interactive trainings that are each about 20 minutes long that quiz during and after the trainings tonight (this was assigned to me 2 days ago and I was not aware of this deadline til this morning) and I have been doing as much as I can to assist my wife after I shower from work when I get home, and tomorrow I have the interview with a fortune 500 company early in the morning for 4 hours straight and then I head right back to work.

I keep her very well informed with what is going on and with any news as I receive it.

She now tells me I'm physically and emotionally abusive for not taking over tonight and for fixing my sleep schedule once I headed back to work after my month long PAT leave.

My question to you all is AITAH? If so what can I change or do differently? If not what can I say or explain to her that I am trying my best to improve our families over all quality of life?

(do note I wrote this during my allotted one hour "adjustment" time that we both agreed on when I got home that I usually don't have to my self because I take care of our pets, shower, and then care for our baby with no break to myself)

I have 2 housemates that share groceries and cook together (M26 and F27). They also work together. They cook a lot more than me and one of them bakes a lot for his side hustle. Like 2 times a month he makes a big batch of cookies and also prepares ingredients on the stove that cook for ages. This uses an insane amount of electricity and it’s getting worse each month. We take turns buying electricity. The same amount each time. I cook for a maximum of like 5-20 min once a week if even that.

I have a gaming pc which uses a medium amount of electricity that I use 4 times a week max.

I monitor the electricity usage. Whist I game watch movies which uses less electricity. I switch my pc off when I leave the room even if I’m to return later etc. I opt in to not switch on the geiser when the water is cold just to save some electricity. Switch of lights etc. but ultimately I can only save so much.

The guy I stay with is using the absolute bulk amount of electricity. It feels like I’m funding his side hustle and he’s unfortunately not socially apt enough to recognise it and talk about it.

Irritates me but I give them a pass because they helped me when I was struggling with money and I gave what I can. I have since obviously paid them back. I also have shared favour here and there. Here’s the thing. He’s financially stable enough to pay his actual share, but won’t because I doesn’t recognise he’s using so much electricity. I cannot afford to keep up with this.

He sent me a message saying electricity ran out again and he had to buy when it was my turn. So I have to pay I’m back for that amount and buy more to reach the amount we usually buy electricity for.

I’m completely out of money and have to hustle to pay for this. He’s making batches of cooking first thing in the morning and I get paid only on Monday.

He also has this condescending and rude way of sharing his complaints about cleanliness but there have been instances were both of them were off and I had to come home to dirty dishes and they haven’t changed the bins in days. I have been doing that. So I e been doing dishes and bins and they have been cooking and leaving dirty dishes next to the sink and I don’t have it in me to approve them as rudely as he approached me about the stove not being wiped clean.

I left him on read trying to get money for electricity but honestly I’m not in a rush. AITA?

Edit: Decided to tell him our previous agreement won’t work and said we could have a discussion about it like adults. I said it in a better way though. I’m waiting for a response now.

Hello there!

I (18f) decided to buy expensive concert tickets for both me and my friend P (18f) with the expectation that she'd pay me back. The only stipulation I added was that she needed to pay me back before the concert, which was happening five months after we bought the tickets.

Fast forward to now. The concert is next week and she hasn't paid me back yet. For context, we bought them through a third party and are kind of gambling that we'll even receive them (a risk we both were willing to take). She still owes me 60% of the ticket, so I spoke to her about how I was very frustrated that after five months she still hadn't paid me back. I told her I understood that she'd had a lot of extenuating circumstances during the last five months, but that I didn't think it was acceptable to wait this long. She only works about 40 hours a month and has to take Ubers to work, and has many medical things to take care of.

I expressed to her though that I was not expecting to not receive a dime from her for over three months.

Her response was that I never communicated anything other than "just pay me back before the concert," and to be fair that's true. However I didn't think it would be necessary to explicitly say that I wanted her to pay me back over time so I wasn't still waiting until four days before the concert?? I also reminded her we'd set up a payment plan multiple times and she did not adhere to any of them.

Some things I'd like to point out:

I do agree that I could've communicated better. I have also learned a very valuable lesson, which is that if I'm loaning someone money I shouldn't expect it back. I really just want to know, am I crazy? I feel so insane.

I mentioned a real world example during our conversation, that if you get a loan from the bank they make you do monthly payments until you've paid them back and that's what I had expected, believing it to be common sense. She said I'm her friend not the bank, and that calling it "common sense" was demeaning.

We're both young and learning to communicate, and I know I probably am wrong for not expressing my actual feelings earlier on which I will take responsibility for. But AITA for not explicitly saying she needs to pay me back over time since I thought it was common sense?

im 20f live with my parents and in collegue , i cant say where im from north africa and usually girls dont move out till they get married and parents usually provide for their children and a bit of background to understand ,my reasons
im an intervort and i dont usually go shopping on my own and it's usually my mom with me cause she wont give me the money and doesnt like my own taste but stores here hardly sell anything stylish everything looks the same and lame but i dont have the money to buy online , so yesterday my cousin told me to ask for a monthly allowence so i could order clothes and any other accessories and make up i was hesitant but i decided to try with my mom and asked for a 50 or less usd as a monthly allownce so i could save up from and buy more skin care and clothes i want on my own but my mom refused and said we buy you clothes when you need and we give you when you want , thats a lie whenever i ask for any money she wants details and wants me to buy things she approves even though she lets my younger sis buys what she wants and order but when i want she says no and would barely do give me maybe chances 3\10 , i tried finding jobs multibule times but my parents want current jobs so no service/low pay jobs , i tried to get a job as a call center cause my english is B1/B2 but sadly a one they took me only for a week it was paid and my parent refused to gimme the money it was tranferred to dad , and i tried another but the acc got canceled , also when ever i go to work my mom wants me to come back fresh after 10 hours shift+transportation
and i come tired and moody and she gets upset , im tried of this , i cant buy clothes or anything and when i get a job i get trashtalked unless im so happy and goffy for her
am i at wrong? and if im why and what should i do ? and reminder i cant move out

I (19M) am home from college for the summer and living with my parents. I’m spending the summer working, saving money, and hanging out with friends who are still in town.
Yesterday I was at a friend’s house playing video games. When I went outside to leave, I walked up to my truck and saw that it had been completely ransacked. All four doors were wide open, the hood was popped halfway open, the tailgate was down, and the bed cover was flipped up.
I live in a really nice, safe neighborhood, so I never expected anything like that to happen. I immediately checked my dash cam while pulling out my phone to call the police. That’s when I realized that about 30 minutes earlier, my parents had come by and done it themselves. I told the dispatcher it was a false alarm since nothing had actually been stolen.
Then today I went to the grocery store to buy food for the week. Coincidentally, my parents were there too. After they left, they sent me a picture of my truck with all the doors open, the hood popped, and everything “ransacked” again. They then came back into the store and started arguing with me in the middle of the aisle, saying I spend too much money on groceries (I spent less than $100 for the entire week) and that I shouldn’t leave my truck unlocked.
At that point I just walked away. They got mad at me for leaving them there, even though we had driven separately.
So here’s my question: WIBTA if I started leaving their car doors open in the driveway or in parking lots? Part of me feels like if they can dish it out, they should be able to take it. On the other hand, I know it would probably just escalate things, so I’m not sure.

My (M37) parents separated 3 years ago, they are both in their 60's and had been married for nearly 40 years. And then he confessed to my mother that he'd been having an affair for two years, and that was the end of it.

My brothers (aged 35, 33, and 31) and I have tried to be supportive and understanding of both our parents. None of us supported the affair, but we did respect our father's right to happiness. But as the process of the separation of assets dragged on things got messy. Communication broke down, my mother lost all trust, and my dad stopped bothering to consider or respect her boundaries.

In an effort to avoid having to bring the separation to the courts and wasting fistfuls of money my brothers and I became much more directly involved in mediating between the two of them and my father was certainly the most difficult to deal with. Constantly shifting goal posts and always pushing just to get that little bit more for himself. The separation was only finalised a few months ago, taking almost three years. I haven't actually talked to my father since Christmas, having recognised that I needed to take some space from him before our relationship truly collapsed.

My mum is doing well. Her strength and resilience has been awe inspiring, what she's been through would of broken me with ease. We've all been there for her giving all the support we can. And now that she has complete control of her finances she's finally free to move on with her life.

I want to state here that my father was a good parent. He loved us all and raised us well. He also genuinely loved my mother for most of their marriage. They were the couple that their friends aspired to be. It was only as he began to transition towards retirement that things became more distant between them. I don't resent either of my parents for the end of their marriage. I just want them both to be happy. Where I struggle is with his affair and treatment of my mother over the last 3 years. About a year ago I asked him directly if he respected my mother and he pointedly avoided answering the question.

Now with all of that preamble out of the way we can get to the actual point.

My father is still dating the woman (idk her age but she's at least in her 50's no age shenanigans here) he cheated on my mother with. He has been bringing her to get togethers with his friends and his family. This has caused friction with some of his friends that he blames on my mother. His siblings have seeming happily accepted her with open arms, but at least my cousins are very uncomfortable with it. Two of my brothers tolerate her presence for the sake of politeness and being able to attend family events. My other brother and I have been clear we want nothing to do with her.

Initially I thought I just needed time and space to process things. That eventually I might be able to reach some level of understanding. But I don't think I can. It's not that I can't accept my father being with someone who isn't my mother, it's her specifically I have a problem with. The best case scenario I can see is that I treat her with the same amount of respect my father has shown my mother over the last 3 years which is not a lot. And that's the best case. The likely scenario is much worse.

She's moving in with my father now. Not the home I was raised in, but the home my parents moved into together after they sold the family home. And I don't even want to return there now. I still have some belongings sitting in a closet somewhere. At some point I'll probably have to ask one of my brothers to grab it for me. When I last talked to him my father he was pushing to have me meet her. I told him I'd have to think about it. I told him that it wouldn't be easy.

For Christmas dinner we've always had a tradition that everyone cooks and brings something for the meal. My father asked if he could be on dessert. He brought a cake the she had cooked. He didn't mention that until after we'd finished our slices and all complimented him on his efforts. That was the last straw for me.

TL;DR: My parents split after 40 years because my father had an affair. He's still with his mistress and wants her to be included as part of the family. AITAH for not wanting anything to do with her?

EDIT: A few things to clarify.

1. I am angry with my father. I do hold him responsible for his actions. It is going to take a great deal of time and effort to repair that relationship. Even if it is repaired, it will never be the same as it once was.
2. Both of my parents are responsible for the end of their marriage. My father and his "affair partner" are responsible for it ending in the manner it did.
3. I don't want to go out of my way to attack, belittle, or otherwise besmirch my fathers AP. But I know I will struggle mask how I feel about her if I ever meet in her person. I don't want to go through that. Not just myself but for everyone who will be involved in such an encounter.
4. The AP did know that my father was married. She was a part of their social circle. I never knew her personally. She was not close with my mother. The values I was raised with mean I do harbour a bias against people who knowingly insert them selves into a pre-existing relationship and people who start a new relationship before ending the old one. I know that relationships can get messy and not everyone is perfect, but I don't think it's the right way to go about it.
5. I am willing to give my father a chance because he is my father. He was a good father, he raised me and my brothers with kindness, and has always been there for us. I'm not ready to lose that just yet no matter how furious I currently am with him. I have no desire to extend that same grace to his AP because I don't know her. There is no pre-existing relationship and I have no desire to try and create one with her.

My partner and I eloped last year after dating about a year. We'd agreed from the very beginning of our relationship that we didn't want a big wedding, and it also would've been too expensive. For months we'd heard secondhand that extended family was upset/disappointed about the elopement and felt snubbed. We took that seriously and felt genuinely bad about it.

A while back we attended a family reunion of sorts and went in braced for people to be cold or upset with us. Instead, multiple people went out of their way to say they were actually glad we eloped (weddings are expensive), that they were happy for us, and that they liked me... a few seemed almost surprised, like they'd expected me to be difficult or unpleasant and were relieved I wasn't. A relative also told me, unprompted, that my partner's mom regularly calls them to complain about our marriage, and that they have told her to knock it off and mind her own business.

After the event drove my partner drove her home. In the car, she told my partner that she doesn't like me, that they don't really know me, and that I'm amazing in public but I must be "different" behind the scenes than I seem in person like evil or manipulative, essentially. My partner pushed back hard and said how I have changed his whole outlook on life and brought up a lot of history that she'd never supported their career choice, had actively tried to talk them out of it and even gotten other people to "pray" they'd change their mind, and had held them back from pursuing it when they were younger. They also brought up that she'd told them directly she was upset when she was pregnant with them, purely because of their gender and because she hadn't expected to be pregnant at all. She got defensive and upset, said things like "I guess I'm just a terrible mother."

Since then, my partner says they feel relieved in a weird way like something got confirmed instead of them wondering if they were imagining it. We've decided to stay outwardly kind to her going forward, but I'm done pretending I don't know what's actually going on, and I don't feel obligated to keep trying to win her approval or hide or push their relationship now that I know she talks about me behind my back and would treat her child that way.

Some people in my life think I should just let it go / stay quiet / not "escalate" since she's sad and lonely. AITA for not just going along with the peacekeeping performance anymore?

Thank you all for every comment. Supportive and critical, I read each and every one and heard you. Leo especially.

He was pretty shocked, but recognized that a lot of what he read wasn't inaccurate and admitted he didnt realize that he was doing so much harm. We are going to therapy together next month, we've booked the date already.

We decided that it would be me so I broke the silence to reach out to my MIL. I sent her one, very non-emotional (I hope) message. It read exactly as shown below. Leo stand much more firmly with me now I believe and we have united in agreeing that the children matter most and the very real risk of his family saying poisonous things is not something either of us are willing to take.

Names below are changed for privacy reasons, but the real name was used in the text.

<---------->

Hi *MIL*,

*Leo* let me know you were hoping to see the children during his upcoming parenting time. We will not be arranging a visit at this time.

As the parents, our priority is providing a healthy environment for the children. To protect their emotional well-being, we have a strict boundary against them being exposed to open criticism or disrespect toward either of their parents. Because this boundary has been repeatedly crossed in front of the children, we cannot trust that a neutral environment will be maintained.

Visits will remain on hold until we see a sustained, positive change in how our family is treated. Moving forward, all further inquiries, updates, or communication regarding this matter must be directed to *Leo*.

Please do not contact me directly about this moving forward.

<---------->

Thank you all again. I feel our family is going to do well with our newfound unity and peace.

There are 2 hyenas at my job that always snicker when I walk by or they say something rude & it becomes their main focus for the entire shift. My pants are flooding, yes I’m 5’8…my sweater has a hole…yes it’s my work sweater & so on…it’s ANNOYING.

Today they followed me while saying “OMG your hair!” They laughed at my hair and started giving me unsolicited hair tips. I told them to mind their business and they said that they were just trying to help me out. Help?! Oh ok…They both have poor oral hygiene…Plaque, bad breath and white tongues all of it.

I told them that since we’re giving helpful tips then they needed to floss 2x/day & buy a tongue scraper. Then I explained how to brush your teeth. No one laughed and witnesses told me that I was mean bc “They really have bad teeth.” Ok so all the more reason to listen to the unsolicited advice I offered. One of my coworkers asked me to apologize and I’m trying to find a reason.

AITAH? I felt like I was defending myself bc I’m so over them & I told them before that if I wanted advice I’d ask for it. They still think they’re so funny.