r/autism 12h ago

Social Struggles As an autistic person I'm tired of undiagnosed people flaunting autism

0 Upvotes

If you aren't diagnosed you can't just go around saying you're autistic, you can say "I'm possibly autistic" but without a diagnosis don't say it. I'm saying this because some undiagnosed people got stuff taken away from me In school because they claimed that autistic people don't need that because they were "autistic" which they just used as an excuse to justify being bad to others. Then they also went around constantly saying that they were autistic and that made them fun and quirky. I think that self diagnosis can be good if you don't have the resources, I know I was lucky that the government paid for my diagnosis but as long as you don't know don't go around just saying it constantly


r/autism 10h ago

šŸ  Family I hate it when my family tries to make me do manual labour

25 Upvotes

For months now, there has been construction going on in and around the house. The kitchen and the back garden have been completely revamped. It has lead to a lot of messes being made and it has been VERY stressful. Between the dust and the noise, it’s a complete sensory nightmare.

But perhaps the worst part is how people keep trying to force me to get involved in the work.

More than once over the last half year or so, my mum will tell me that I have to help her boyfriend (who is a complete nob) around the house with no warning time beforehand. He uses a lot of very loud tools and he shouts a lot, both at me and people in general. It is very overstimulating. It’s gotten to the point where multiple times I’ll just walk out of the house for a bit and wait for things to quiet down. Which of course leads to people calling me lazy and so on.

I just don’t like doing manual labour. Especially under such circumstances.

I’m venting about this because it happened again today. Mum told me I had to help her and her bf with work in the front garden with like an hours notice. When I do go outside he’s using a chainsaw and shouting at my mum to get some plastic bags or something. I just left the house for a bit.

On a semi-unrelated note, two other things I wanna complain about is the fact that:

A. Multiple times I have been woken in the early hours of the morning by him using drills in the kitchen (right below my bedroom)

B. Out front garden, which once looked so lovely and picturesque, has been gradually ruined, because of how much rubbish they’ve just chucked onto it.

Rant over


r/autism 5h ago

Question would you buy chicken nugets called Dino Nuggies?

0 Upvotes

like lets say if there was a brand called Dino Nuggies. i know a lot of people already call them that its just a funny udea that popped up in my head. also is there any spasific detail you would want in it for example a spasific texture some dino nuggies have that you dont like?


r/autism 20h ago

Question Can anyone else hear their neuronal activity?

5 Upvotes

I'm not entirely sure if this is possible but I can sometimes hear and feel a buzzing coming from my brain that is similar but not the same as electricity. I have experienced this all my life and I know it's not the electricity because I can hear that separately. Tinnitus also sounds way different. It's not permanent and it happened when hyperfocused or overstimulated. I had a theory that maybe I can hear my neuronal activity, especially as this was even more heightened if under the influence, unlike other sounds. I'm not sure if this is a shared experienced lol

Edit: I also experienced this much worse when I was starting and quitting SSRIs along with brain zaps 😭


r/autism 2h ago

Vent Advice Wanted How do you handle phone calls? Is AI an option?

0 Upvotes

Hi, I'm not sure if I'm posting in the right place or with the right flair. I just need some help. I need to schedule a doctor's appointment but they require that I call to schedule.

(The receptionist has left really rude voicemails telling me not to try to schedule online. I need to follow up with this doctor about medication, but afterward I'm not going to see them anymore. **Please don't tell me to get a different doctor.**)

I run into this problem a lot. I have a really hard time with phone calls. I don't really know why. I avoid them as much as possible but there's a lot of places that require them. I've looked and looked for AI that can schedule an appointment but they're all extremely expensive and they usually can't handle phone trees or require real-time call monitoring to answer questions. Which defeats the point.

It feels like my only option is to force myself to do the phone calls even though I melt down after. Or get someone else to do them for me. But I can't afford that and most people in my life will not help with things like that. It's humiliating to ask for help and be told "it's not that hard."

There's probably no other options so I guess I'll tag this as a vent rather than a question.


r/autism 9h ago

šŸ«¶šŸ» Friendships/Relationships being hyperfixated on someone who has left you really isn't for the weak.

0 Upvotes

i had a best friend who was my whole world for 13 years i mean we did everything together sadly i wasn't aware i had a hyper fixation on her until recently as I've only just been diagnosed as autistic like a month ago.

she left me back in December 2025 and I've been struggling to function since, as i said my whole world revolved around her i was always with her i was pretty obsessed with her because i was so interested in her and everything she did i was genially so fascinated with her.

i think its safe to assume i suffocated her i used to hate when she had to leave for anything that i couldn't do with her like college or vacations etc.. i hated her being with other people because i needed her more then anything to make me happy. she was predictable and safe she made me feel like i was ok to be me. she was so involved with my life she became my routine.

since she's left me I've felt so isolated and depressed, barely take my meds, barely leave the house i feel so frustrated because i cant fully process it all like why she left me i feel so alone. i miss her i just wanna hear her laugh and see her smile i wanna be around her so badly just one last time i guess I'm seeking closure that I'll never get and i hate to admit it but I've started to rely on destructive and harmful behaviors to try feel that same happiness again. issue is I'm on summer break so i have no real support system right now I'm just sorta made to deal with all this on my own.

I'm crying out for help at this point.


r/autism 9h ago

Question Someone help: does this sound like a special interest to you?

0 Upvotes

One day I asked here about special interests because they have always been unclear to me and I started wondering if this sounds like one.

The thing that make this confusing is that I know it's really common for teenagers to be fangirling over people or things. And it’s normal for people to have spesific taste in music. This has only started in my pre-teens and hasn't been there since I was a little kid.

One ā€mainā€ interest that has lasted a few years and is still there is Nicki Minaj. Nowadays it’s embarrassing because of the support for president and her husband is also a really questionable person. But at the beginning of her career, she seemed like a really interesting artist (and a lot more open-minded lol). So I don't focus so much on what bs she's writing on Twitter these days, but I research her career, especially the early days because she was so unique and versatile back then in her music, clothing style, etc. I often watch the same early 2010s Nickis’s concert videos over and over again and I get a lot of joy if I find some new production from her. She's also the artist I listen to the most

I realized that I also know a lot about the Karjenner family. Imo they're a really problematic family too and I don't think they're as ā€iconicā€ as a lot of people think. However, I've been researching a lot about them for a few years now.

I often read various gossip and news about celebrities because I find them interesting even if they are ridiculous most of the time.

When I was younger, about 12 years old, I was an Ariana Grande fan and I still listen to her. Around that same time I had a fan account on Instagram for YouTubers who are quite popular in my home country.

Soo…I often find a ā€newā€ celebrity and spend a lot of time looking for information about them. Then the interest may fade or I'll continue following them.

And also that usually if a celebrity or influencer I follow does something that I find inappropriate, I unfollow them because I can't stand for it but this didn't happen with Nicki Minaj even though I think she's a bad person nowadays. I just can't cut it out of my life😭

But this is nothing parasocial or atleast I hope this doesn't sound like it! I can't talk about this interest to anyone because I think it's so childish and embarrassing, especially Nicki Minaj in 2026


r/autism 4h ago

Social Struggles I hate being professional

7 Upvotes

I cannot STAND being professional when I speak. I'll be polite! People deserve kindness and patience! Of course I'll be polite with anyone I speak with. But I get the worst possible ick whenever I have to be professional. I don't get why, either!! Logically, professional speech will get you farther in work related situations, interviews, networking, etc. But even though I know that, for some reason I cannot STAND SPEAKING PROFESSIONALLY!!

Yes sir/ma'am drives me insane. I've been told from a young age to address adults/bosses/etc with those honorifics. But I can't. It makes me genuinely teeter on the edge of verbal shutdown. My mom scolds me when I say "okay" instead of "yes ma'am". I say "okay" to everyone!! I also tend to nod a lot when agreeing instead of verbalizing my agreement. When I must speak I say "yes!" or "mhm!"

Being strictly professional and using language that indicates who you're addressing is above you somehow makes me feel so awful. I'm saying if the King of England himself asked me to do something for him, I'd say "okay". Yes sir?? yes your majesty?? idk!! you're not hearing it from me!! i hate it so much and I don't understand WHYYYYY I hate it so much!!

I'll keep my stance professional. I'll dress professional. I'll present myself in a professional way. But for some reason speaking professionally just makes me want to die. Of course I won't speak to someone with tons of slang, or like they're my best friend, or be improper/impolite. I'll be polite, I'll be engaging, I'll smile, I'll pay attention...!! but god!!! i don't know why I can't be professional with my speech 😭


r/autism 12h ago

Question Living in the USA in the Future? How is it there?

0 Upvotes

Hi everyone!

Please take it easy on me as I am learning and gathering information. Before commenting.

So, I am a 22-year-old autistic woman living in Belgium, Europe.

I can't help but to start to imagine living in the USA. You can say that I love the American Dream and how free they are. Of course, there are cons too. You can say I have met someone from the USA and we fell in love with each other. He plans on meeting me for the first time in Belgium next year and seeing how it will go further between us.

I can't help but start to worry about my future as a light autistic woman in the USA if I decide to be with him and live there. I still live in Belgium, but I feel unhappy there. I will admit, the care can be good, but there are cons and long waiting lists.

So, I am very curious to learn and gain info about what it is like living in the USA as an autistic person. Is it good? Is it bad? Half and half? Or does it depend on the state? I do plan to go on a language course in the USA to learn English more and to explore the USA.

I am open to discussions and will read comments from all of you to learn.


r/autism 8h ago

Friend/Family Member Neurotypical here. Is my friend just autistic, or does he simply not care about me if he doesn’t ask questions?

2 Upvotes

I recently made a new friend. He told me he thinks he’s autistic, although he’s not officially diagnosed. After hearing him explain why, I can definitely see why he suspects it he struggles with overstimulation, has sensory issues with certain textures, avoids eye contact, and a few other traits.
I like him a lot. He’s a cool guy. The only thing that’s been bothering me is that I feel like I’m the one leading most of our conversations. Sometimes he’ll send me something and we’ll talk about that, but otherwise I’m usually the one asking questions. I can’t tell if that’s because he’s autistic and has a different communication style, or if he’s just not that curious about me.

For example, if I ask him how he’s doing, he’ll answer, but he usually doesn’t ask me the same question back. I know some autistic people don’t automatically ask reciprocal questions because they assume you’ll share whatever you want to share, so I’ve tried to keep that in mind.

But today something happened that confused me. I had a weird experience and told him about it because I was curious what he’d think. He only reacted with an emoji and didn’t really acknowledge what I said. That made me feel a bit dismissed. If someone brings something up to me, I usually respond to it because I assume they mentioned it for a reason and want it to be acknowledged.

Interestingly, he sent me something later today, and I intentionally only reacted with an emoji instead of engaging, partly because I thought maybe that’s just how he communicates. But after that, he seemed a bit colder shorter replies and less engagement.
So now I’m confused. Is this likely an autistic communication style? Are we just incompatible as friends? Or does it simply mean he’s not that interested in getting to know me? I don’t want to assume the worst, but I also don’t want to ignore something that might be a sign we’re looking for different things in a friendship.


r/autism 3h ago

Social Struggles Apparently asking people to be respectful is wrong?

10 Upvotes

I’m in another sub and I’m getting a jumped on because I’m asking a simple question to not ask the poster about what caused their trauma. If they wanted to share, they would volunteer that. I don’t understand what’s hard about that. The comment I responded to said they didn’t understand how someone from a stable family could have trauma and where did the trauma came from? I just think that question is wildly inappropriate because even without asking gruesome details just asking someone hey how are you? Traumatized is kind of fucked up. Am I wrong? I wasn’t mean about it. All I simply said was that question is not respectful and they do not owe you that information that’s it and yet people are attacking me for it.


r/autism 16h ago

Burnout Life as a person with autism isn't worth living

167 Upvotes

That's too hard, especially since I'm in an autistic burnout for months...

I go out of my bedroom for 30 minutes, and I'm already overwhelmed.

I can't handle light or people.

I can't do anything. I'm stuck in the dark, waiting for I don't even know what.

This is not a life.

I'm at my parents' house, and I can't work or do outside activities. Cleaning my bedroom is already too much.

It's been months, and my regression is really bad.

I do everything I can to feel better: I rest, take care of myself, and even accept medication. I have a supportive family.

But even with everything going right, my life is hell.

And I will be fucking autistic all my life! That's a hell


r/autism 7h ago

šŸ«¶šŸ» Friendships/Relationships Ashamed of being like this. Can someone please tell me it's gonna be ok

1 Upvotes

I'm not even sure if I'm allowed to post this because I haven't gotten officially diagnosed with autism yet though me and everyone around me suspects it (appointment is in around a week) and I don't know if I'm autistic or just plain slow but either way I wish with every fiber of my being and more that I wasn't like this.

I've subconsciously masked my entire life until I found someone that made me feel actually comfortable with myself to the point of dropping the mask but now I've become too (for lack of a better term) "un-normal" to the point where the relationship is hurting my partner and to the point where they've run out of patience for me, and can't see me being a net positive to themselves and their future.

They've given me the chances to try to improve myself or fix/make up for it over and over and over again and every time I make progress, but not enough.

Yesterday I lost my last chance to prove myself because I guessed an answer wrong that in hindsight, I should have gotten correct from the context clues and if I had known my partner better, but I didn't, so by the end of summer, it's over.

I threw away the last plausible chance I had at a future with the one person that makes me feel like I'm allowed to exist because of this stupidity or whatever's wrong with me.

I don't know why I'm like this, I wish I wasn't so badly. I wish I could re-mask but I don't know how.

A part of me is scared that I was never autistic and I'm just an idiot and a jackass but whatever I am, I wish I wasn't. I guess I'll find out in a week...

I'm sorry if I offended anyone or said anything wrong but it's 2:50 in the morning right now, I can't sleep, and none of the frighteningly few people I can go to are awake.

Please someone tell me it's going to be okay, I'll take any hope I can get, even false hope.


r/autism 10h ago

Shutdown/Meltdowns How do you keep track of your child's behavior and routines day to day?

0 Upvotes

Hi everyone, I've been thinking a lot about how much mental load goes into tracking a child's behavior, routines, and progress noticing patterns, remembering what happened last week, catching triggers before they become bigger issues.

I'm curious how you all currently handle this in daily life. Do you write things down, use an app, just try to remember, or something else? And honestly, does it even work well for you, or does it mostly feel like one more thing to manage?

Not trying to sell anything here just genuinely interested in understanding what this looks like for different families, since I imagine it varies a lot depending on the kid and the household.


r/autism 7h ago

Social Struggles I think I misunderstood

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309 Upvotes

This is a conversation I had with a representative at Michigan Rehabilitative Services.

I was very on edge, as I am with most social interactions, and it was taking me a long time to figure out what was appropriate to ask/divulge and what wasn't. She gave me an ellipsis and I got defensive. I think I made her upset.

What could I have done differently, and what should I do now?


r/autism 6h ago

šŸ«¶šŸ» Friendships/Relationships Autistic people way less likely to be lonely and that's a good thing

0 Upvotes

I feel like for most autistic people relationships are optional. I feel like that's a good thing with so many people struggling from loneliness. I don't feel like that's a thing for most autistic people.


r/autism 4h ago

Communication Autistic men: How can women better understand you?

1 Upvotes

I’m sorry if I didn’t word the title in the best way. It’s kind of a weird question I guess, but I’m asking because I’m trying to better understand my husband. We’ve been married for 15 years, but struggle to communicate and have recently hit a wall. I’m neurodivergent myself, so I do understand he thinks differently and I’m trying to learn. He often doesn’t understand my feelings and when I try to explain them he gets overwhelmed or angry because he disagrees. Theory of mind is not his strong suit, though he does try. How can I approach him with my feelings in a way that doesn’t feel like I’m attacking him? I would like for the conversation to remain open for both people’s experiences but he has a hard time viewing things from my perspective and it can be frustrating. I don’t know how to talk to him in a way that doesn’t result in shutdown.


r/autism 9h ago

Question Specialist said i had "borderline autism" as a kid?

1 Upvotes

I was in special ed school most of my childhood and they thought I had autism, but when I got evaluated they said I had "borderline autism" and wasn't diagnosed with anything. Currently diagnosed with adhd but relate way more to classic autism symptoms. Additionally, social struggles, especially coming off as impersonal or standoffish unintentionally, are legit my biggest struggle in life. Idk if actually getting diagnosed would help though. Just curious what other people think. This was around like 2008-2012 I think, autism spectrum disorder wasn't a thing.


r/autism 3h ago

Social Struggles A Critique of Theory of Mind(ToM) from the Perspective of Platonic Philosophy

0 Upvotes

Theory of Mind is a psychological and cognitive-scientific capacity to understand that others possess thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and desires different from one's own, and to infer others' behavior on that basis. It can be described as the core element of empathy and social interaction that allows one to "read" another person's mind.

However, Theory of Mind ought properly to be criticized from the standpoint of Platonic philosophy. First, Theory of Mind claims to "infer" the emotions of others, but in fact the core of inference lies in rational reasoning and, at a higher level, in the apprehension of the Forms (Ideas) through intuition. That is, the essential point is not to infer another person's mind, but to grasp the intelligible realm through intuition by means of the intellect (nous).

Meanwhile, insofar as Theory of Mind involves empathizing with another, conjecture and belief inevitably intervene in the process of understanding the other. Yet conjecture and belief, being lower forms of cognition, cannot themselves properly be called inference at all; moreover, in a Heraclitean society of flux where everything is in constant change and opinions run rampant, to "empathize" with another can be nothing other than doxa (mere opinion).

Plato declared that within the soul as a whole, the wise part responsible for rational reasoning is fit to rule, while the part responsible for spirit (thumos) ought to obey and cooperate with the rationally reasoning part (Republic, 441e). In light of this, reading another's mind through empathy and social interaction, too, must properly remain under the control of reason — and it is on these grounds that Theory of Mind is inevitably subject to Platonic criticism. If we assume there were no such rational control, then the mind and emotions of others would be given undue weight, leading to the absurd interpretation that Socrates was executed because he "lacked empathy" and had claimed he deserved to be honored with a garland or given state maintenance in the Prytaneum.

In particular, in philosophy conflict with others is inevitable, because the multitude rejects the philosopher who loves wisdom. A representative case is Anacharsis, who was killed by an arrow out of envy when he tried to introduce the advanced culture of Greece, rather than his own tribe's customs, to his homeland of Scythia. From the standpoint of Theory of Mind, one might ask: if Anacharsis had simply empathized with his own people, could he ever have held a Greek-style festival at all? Given that he returned safely from Greece through logos, only to be destroyed in his own country out of envy, then if Theory of Mind were treated as absolute, would it not follow — absurdly — that the crowd's mutual empathy in rejecting Anacharsis was the more justified course of action?

In conclusion, although Theory of Mind claims to infer the minds of others, inference itself belongs properly to rational instruments or to intuition, whereas empathizing with others belongs to the domain of spirit (thumos), passion, or desire requiring temperance — and here lies an epistemological confusion. Furthermore, the fact that reason failed to govern empathy toward others resulted in cases such as the execution of Socrates and the death of Anacharsis. For these reasons, reason must govern desire and spirit; Theory of Mind, taken as an independent and self-standing faculty of empathy, cannot be absolutized on its own.


r/autism 2h ago

Vent Advice Wanted I hate when people say thank you

4 Upvotes

I want to say that while I have a deep dislike for people telling me to do things, I will do them. I'll just hate doing it. Additionally, when people have tasks for me that I don't want to do/don't enjoy, I hate when they say thank you. Because then, I'm expected to say "you're welcome" or "no problem" when I don't actually mean it. (I want to clarify that I don't hate all tasks asked of me, it's very selective and I haven't quite figured out what sets me off).

Logically I understand that their saying thank you has no ill intentions, but I'm having trouble reconciling this with how I feel. Does anyone else have this problem? Does this fall under PDA?


r/autism 8h ago

šŸŽ§ Sensory Issues Sunscreen problems. I don’t want sunburn

0 Upvotes

Can anyone recommend a sunscreen that doesn’t leave you feeling slimy or tight skinned after applying and maybe that doesn’t need to be applied every 2 hours. I really easily burn and want to spend time with my brother when he comes to visit me but I burn really easily. Most sunscreens I’ve tried either leave the skin feeling oily, tight or aren’t hypoallergenic. Or I forget to reapply often enough. Can anyone else relate and offer suggestions?


r/autism 1h ago

Assessment Journey RecomendaƧƵes Psiquiatra - BH

• Upvotes

Ola, gostaria de recomendações de psiquiatras bons na região de bh, profissionais que tem alguma experiência com diagnóstico e acompanhamento de TEA.

Pesquisei profissionais especialistas na Ɣrea, mas sao absurdamente caros a consulta, acima de 1k.


r/autism 9h ago

šŸŽ§ Sensory Issues question around those loop earplugs / thoughts

0 Upvotes

I’ve seen a lot of other autistic people recommend loop earplugs for sensory issues around sound! I bought some for myself a while ago so I could handle school and public areas. I did find them to be helpful, but when I wore them I could just hear them rustling around in my ear a lot. Or i could feel them rustling around in my ear. So it wasn’t often that I actually did wear them.

Years ago I don’t remember having an issue with things like AirPods. But I just couldn’t get behind these. Was I wearing them wrong? Or is this style of noise reduction just not for me? Please tell me your thoughts on loop earplugs, I’ve love to hear it, and what I can do to help with issues with sound.


r/autism 11h ago

ā²ļøExecutive Functioning / Emotional Regulation Has anyone experienced unexplained laughing in a child with developmental delay/autism?

0 Upvotes

My son is 9 years old and has mild autism. About 1.5 years ago, he started having episodes of laughing for no obvious reason.

Sometimes it seems voluntary but at other times it feels almost involuntary or as if he just can't stop. It can happen multiple times a day. He's fully conscious during these episodes, responds when spoken to, and there are no jerking movements, blank stares, or loss of awareness.

We've consulted a pediatric neurologist, who doesn't think it's seizures based on his symptoms, but we're still trying to understand what's causing it. A child psychiatrist has also been suggested.

I'm wondering if anyone else's child has experienced something similar.

- Did you ever find out what was causing it?

- Was it sensory seeking, anxiety, emotional regulation, ADHD, autism-related, or something else?

- Did it improve over time or with therapy/medication?

I'd really appreciate hearing about your experiences. Thank you.


r/autism 19h ago

Question Why do I sound like this and can I fix it

0 Upvotes

Whenever I meet someone new most of the time they tell me I sound exactly like Walter white jr. to me I sound nothing like it but when I record my voice and listen back and I sound like I have some sort of autism or disability. I don’t have any current learning or physical disability but I got a Iep from kindergarten for speech delay that I still get to use today I remember having voice therapy but that was years ago in kindergarten I’m entering 11th grade. I wouldn’t call it a lisp I just sound like how people with autism sound. I’ve been wondering what I have and if there’s a way to sound more normal