Our son is 3 and a half and has an NHS autism diagnosis. He is non-verbal (0 words), has substantial sensory-seeking needs, struggles a lot with social interaction, and has very limited personal care skills.
We live in London, where he attends a local nursery. We are completely lost on when we should actually apply for an EHCP and have no idea whose advice to trust at this point.
Initially, the nursery staff told us not to apply for an EHCP yet. They said it would be really difficult to get and that "mainstream schools are very good these days." They seemed to know their stuff, so we were okay with that at first. Later, we spoke to someone we know who actually works with our local authority on EHCPs, and they backed up the same story. Apparently, in our council, there is only one special school that accepts children in Reception, so it's strictly reserved for the 6 to 8 most severe cases across all disabilities in that school year. Because it's so unlikely he'd get a spot there, they advised waiting, letting him go to mainstream Reception, and then reassessing during that year with the school—possibly writing the EHCP with them to transfer him to an autism-specialist school for Year 1, as there are a few more of those available.
We were fine following that plan until two things happened. First, during his NHS assessment, the SLT verbally told us something similar to the nursery, but then wrote something totally different in the report—basically asking us to visit both mainstream and special settings to make an informed choice. She also recommended a local charity that gives tips to parents. When we spoke to the charity, they immediately told us "it's already late, start that EHCP application ASAP." They warned that putting him into mainstream Reception without support could be potentially traumatic, likening it to throwing someone in the ocean to see if they can swim.
The second thing is that we started private SLT recently, and this therapist also told us to apply straight away without waiting a single second. We informed the nursery, and they agreed to kick off the process and asked us to send a few lines from the private SLT. But as soon as we asked, the private SLT immediately started talking about fees and charges for providing those few lines. That suddenly gave me huge pause... is she giving us this urgent advice just so she can charge us a ton of money for reports and potential tribunal support?
We genuinely have zero idea what is best right now. It feels like everyone has a reason for saying what they say. The nursery and local authority might be delaying to avoid paperwork or save money because LA budgets are stretched. On the flip side, the private SLT could be financially biased, and while the charity is great, they've never actually met my child. I'm also worried I might just be overinterpreting the NHS report.
Has anyone in London been through something similar? Is it really better to apply for the EHCP now before Reception, or wait and do it through a mainstream school? Would really appreciate any insights from parents who've been there.