The incidents of my 22 year old son acting out with aggression have been reduced significantly over the last two years, but boy, when he melts down he really goes for it. Im alone with him till Saturday, we have no respite care and any friends that could help are working or on vacation. My best friend who has always been my rock died in May. My folks are near by, but my mom thinks he has autism because I had him vaccinated so I dont ask them for help.

Ill be fine, I just needed to share this with people who will understand and not judge.

My son is just 5years old.

Last night we were sitting as usual in his playroom with his AAC device. We were talking about his daily activities, school etc. usually it was like me (his mother) asks questions and he responds with pictures or keyboard (typing)

After a while he willingly took the device and typed “You Look tired?” And then go to picture and navigated to some folder and clicked why

So the question is “you look tired? Why?”

One part of My heart healed at that moment and I kissed him and said it’s nothing mom has a cold.

He said “Ok”

I said I love you

He replied “I love you”

Best day of my life

My toddler thinks that care bears are the cutest things ever. She takes one everywhere she goes, and if we see them at a thrift shop she asks if she can put them with the rest of her care bear family.

I just wish it was easier to find specific bears lol. But I love how much comfort and joy they bring my special little princess.

I’m son is 3, and has level two autism. I was originally doing data entry for my mils business. However, I kept having to leave work because daycare was constantly calling me to pick him up. (For context, this was when he was one year old, and before we got his diagnosis) so she moved me to working from home part time. I definitely don’t make enough doing what I do and I’d love a career change. I have 2 children so paying for daycare is crazy expensive, then with picking up and dropping him off at ABA, Speech and OT. It just seems so impossible to have a job, but in this economy it’s almost impossible to live off of my husbands paycheck. I’ve always been independent, and have no family of my own, so the thought of my husband and me getting divorced for whatever reason and me falling flat on my face keeps me up at night 😅. Anyways, what do you guys do for work? That actually allows you to be flexible due to your child’s tight schedules. I wouldn’t mind going back to school for it, as long as the degree wouldn’t take tooooo long.

I’m drowning. No one knows what to do to help me. There is a glimpse of a village but I guess I’m the mayor and have to run it?!

I know I am lucky to have people who want to help. They say “tell me what to do.” But that makes me crazy, I don’t know… look around!

Help me, help myself. How does your village help you?

Besides childcare, how do you have others help? Laundry, groceries, dinners, yard work, what mental load items can I hand off?!

Late last night my son's school friend showed up out of the blue, his parents were arguing and he eloped, thankfully came to ours.

I said to my son (who was doing his bed routine) his friend is downstairs and is a bit sad, and could he look after him?

I got an emphatic no and a door slam, I was a bit disappointed, but he hates his routine being interrupted.

But in the next minute (with no input from me), he came downstairs with his blanket, wrapped his friend up and put on a kids show. They sat there for 30 minutes until one of his parents showed up.

I've never been prouder.

My brother has two sons, one 7 year old (neurotypical) and one 4 year old who I just found out has level 3 autism or at least that's the diagnosis so far. Apparently he and his wife have known for a couple of years now but were in denial. I emigrated almost 10 years ago and can't travel back often so I haven't seen them in two years. Anyway...

Now that I have this information I want to educate myself, particularly on how to interact with him, how to be helpful to my brother, how to help the other little one understand, how to help my dad who is having a really hard time trying to be the best grandpa he can be but doesn't understand well how to interact with neurodivergent children.

What books, youtube channels, content creators, whatever, would you recommend to this auntie? And any advice, really.

Thank you <3

My daughter (turns 2 in September) is still babbling and doesn't have any intentional language (doesn't call me mama, doesn't make animal noises, etc).

She's getting her official evaluation in two weeks. Her speech therapist has told me they haven't noticed any red flags for autism (but as a parent to an autistic son, I'm more observant of certain things, plus it's genetic). My daughter presents much differently than my son did at this age, and the only BIG red flag is her speech delay and maybe a slight sensory sensitivity to certain textures.

I'm just curious - for those of you with level 1 children, did they have a speech delay or any noticeable autistic traits at age 2?

TIA 😁

We're unsure what food to give my two nieces with autism. 5 years old. One girl doesn't talk much while the other can do short sentences.

We know they have several home-cooked 'safe food' but when we've tried those, it's been rejected. (Most likely different than their home version). 

My mom noticed they haven't rejected sweets, so has already filled them with cakes, cookies, ice cream, etc. I don't think they have a dietary restrictions, but I don't feel this is the way to go.

My sister (their mom) suddenly caught a bad sickness a couple days ago and dropped my nieces off with my parents and me. She's been sleeping mostly since. Since her family has had a rough past couple months, we don't want to bother her. I also don't see her recovering very soon, so any suggestions from this community is appreciated

EDIT ADD ON: thanks for the suggestions everyone. I think once the initial shock of 'ack this was unexpected' wore off, we realized we had more at our disposal than just desserts. Mangoes, applesauce, smooth peanut butter... We're going to be okay, and my sister is doing better too.

My 18mo has been doing some behavioral things that make me wonder if he could be autistic. He’s my first, my brother (no blood relation) is severely autistic & I grew up around others that are neurodivergent. I STRONGLY believe my father & possibly myself could be neurodivergent & I was wondering if these behaviors point to yes as well. Just got a referral for a screening today at his 18mo check up. The ear infections mentioned, he was doing well speaking until he turned 1, he had a double ear infection that lasted 2 months & we’re actually getting a hearing test scheduled to see if that could be the cause of the lack of speech.

Recently I noticed when my daughter becomes disregulated or unfocused and we try to refocus her, the default response is to automatically apologize. I will give two recent examples and I am not sure how to teach her the tools. I feel like she suffering already from low confidence ( I also did the same thing as a child and I suffer from low self esteem).

1. The other day we had swimming class, due to a mix up the teacher was not there and she couldn’t swim. I explained to her that we could not swim that day and she was upset (understandably). She continued to apologize hoping that it would allow her to get access to swim; I apologized to my daughter multiple times and let her know she has nothing to apologize about and she did nothing wrong.

2. We are still potty training and it has been a massive uphill battle. She will say she has to go to the bathroom get distracted by something random, I will say let’s go to the bathroom to refocus her. She will get upset and start apologizing to me instead of refocusing to go to the bathroom.

I am bringing this up for various reasons but her over eagerness to apologize makes me worried that she will be seen as easily taken advantage of (it happened to me). I want her to guide her to understand that things that do not always go our way are not our fault. This scares me because we are starting kindergarten next month and she will be in a class with both neurotypical and neurodivergent kids.

What has worked with your kids?

I just love him. Some periods of our lives have been so sad and isolating and scary, so I acknowledge those. And I’m fully aware we will have more challenges in the future that may overwhelm me in a way that changes my current outlook BUT… my god I just love my son so much and really, really enjoy this season of our lives.

I’m so grateful for the things in our life that work well for him and allow him to thrive and be himself. Every time I look at him so full of joy and excitement over his interests I just swell with pride and love.

He’s changed my life for the better, taught me so much about the world and what’s important, and I’m so lucky I get to be his parent.

I think about those who are struggling at this time and I want you to know that I don’t take for granted the experience I’m having. I want that for all of us so badly. I’m honoured to be part of this parenting ‘club’ because I know how fiercely we love and fight for our kids. We are amazing and I hope everyone gets to experience many seasons of joy on this journey ♥️

Mine tolerates hugs and kisses and tickles.. very seldom reciprocates. But last night as we were laying in bed he unpromptedly got up, and very gently kissed me on my left cheek and then on my left forehead. Getting teary eyed as I type this. Can you share your experiences? He might be showing me affection on other ways but I may have just overlooked because I've been accustomed to the typical signs of love.

https://www.reddit.com/r/PandasDisease/comments/1v3tthn/negative_for_panspandas_encephalitis_help/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1

Reddit won’t let me copy and paste

I really need advice from parents who have been through something similar because I feel so alone.
My daughter is 13, and over the last year everything has changed. She’s become increasingly aggressive, but only toward me. I’m a single mom, and it’s gotten to the point where she hits me, and for the last year I haven’t even been able to speak to her without her reacting like my voice physically hurts her. Every conversation feels like she’s screaming in pain just because I’m talking.
I don’t know how to explain how heartbreaking that is. Can you imagine not being able to speak in your own home because your child can’t tolerate hearing your voice? It’s devastating.
Things have escalated so much that last night she attacked me while I was asleep. My parents have been keeping her with them more and more because everyone feels she’s calmer there, and we’re now seriously considering having her live with them. They’re willing to do it because they love her and want to help, but as her mom, this is breaking me.
Her therapists believe she has PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) autism. She’s on medication, and it has helped a lot compared to where we were, but she is still incredibly hostile toward me specifically.
This has affected every part of our lives. We even had to move because the meltdowns and aggression became so severe that neighbors were complaining. Thankfully, with my family’s help, we were able to move into a house, and I truly love our home, but I never imagined our lives would look like this.
I’m struggling because I genuinely feel like I’ve done everything I knew to do. She’s always had therapies, activities, opportunities to make friends, support, love, and I’ve advocated for her every step of the way. I know autism isn’t caused by parenting, but it’s hard not to question yourself when you’re the only person your child seems to reject.
Has anyone else’s child become aggressive only toward one parent? Has anyone experienced this around puberty, especially with PDA? Did it get better? What helped? And if your child temporarily lived with another family member, did it help your relationship in the long run?
Please be kind. I’m exhausted, heartbroken, and just trying to do what’s best for my daughter while also keeping everyone safe.

My son is 5yo, diagnosed level 1 (though he's teetering more towards level 2). He is going to kindergarten this year. The last 2 years he's been doing SPED Pre-K at one school. For a couple different reasons, he will not be going back to that school. One of the reasons being that we moved, so our original plan was to send him to the school that we're now zoned for. Our school system as a whole isn't good, but the school has a pretty good reputation in general. I just don't know much about their SPED department and don't want some of the same problems we had last year.

He got a last minute offer to go to a new local summer camp specifically for children with autism. It's been a great experience and my son hasn't had any behavioral issues or problems adjusting. The location of the summer camp houses a private school during the school year (all through the same organization). The school is relatively new, about 5 years old or so, but is geared towards children with autism. It's a good environment with low teacher to student ratios and they approach children in a way that I appreciate. We were really leaning towards sending him there but there are 3 issues:

1) This private school is across town whereas the other school is about 2 min around the corner. This isn't really a dealbreaking issue, just more of an annoyance with gas prices and my schedule.

2) The school's tuition is expensive as expected. The cost would be covered by Kate Beckett but it would take all of the funds. I wouldn't mind but that leads to issue 3

3) The private school does not provide OT or ST. They will allow therapists to come into the school. But for us, we are not established anywhere since he has been getting services within the school for 2 years. So that would mean trying to find a place where therapists go to the school, hoping they don't have a waitlist, then having to pay until insurance will cover. Since Katie Beckett would go straight to tuition, that would be fully out of pocket on our end. The last time we paid for therapy out of pocket it was costly. I can at least know he will get his therapies at the public school for free. I don't want to delay the things he needs. They do provide ABA during the school day.

Now I am tasked with deciding on where to send him. Both schools start in a couple weeks so I have to decide soon. Just curious on what other autism parents would do or if anyone has been in a similar situation.

This is mostly me screaming into the void, but if anyone has gone through this and has advice other than to keep trying, I would be grateful.

My little one is clearly neurodivergent, but not fully diagnosed yet. Ive been working with their support person and occupational therapist about bowel accidents in their pants. It comes and goes, so we'll have one or two good weeks, then two weeks of pooping in their pants every day, sometimes up to three times a day. I'm trying, usually successfully, to stay neutral about accidents. I'm getting them seen by their GP to rule out constipation, so it feels like we're taking a step forward.

I'm burnt out from being the primary caregiver, and very recently confirming my own neurodivergence, coupled with our entire routine collapsing at the end of school.

I'm just not sure how to keep going. I don't have anything left to keep encouraging bathroom breaks and negotiating with a smart, stubborn child. I suspect they have pathological demand avoidance, along with sensory processing disorder, so there are layers to this. The worst part is when they have their accidents, they deny everything and stick their hands in it and wipe it on whatever is closest. The last time this happened, they wiped it all over the car door and themselves. Ive bought more baby wipes and disinfectant wipes, and I've started throwing out poopy clothes. We've been cleaning everything until now, but I just can't do it anymore. I'm starting my next year of school in September and I'm so limited in my capabilities now.

I know I'll make things work, but I don't know what it will cost me. I'm tired of everything feeling so bleak and hopeless. I'm also in the process of starting medication for depression and ADHD, so I'm confident that things will change, but this is really fucking hard.

I’m looking for some guidance and help please. For background I have Audhd (diagnosed) and my son who is 14 was diagnosed with ASD/C around 12 months ago and also has a lot of anxiety. He has some friends at school and a girlfriend but he struggles to fit into social norms and can be very quiet. When you get to know him he is very funny and he’s so caring and kind.

Over the last year I have noticed that my dresses in my wardrobe have been moved or inside out and my makeup items left in different places. I suspected my son has been experimenting so haven’t mentioned anything but also tell him that he can talk to me about anything, I am non judgmental and only want him to be happy. I reaffirm regularly that our relationship is a safe space to be who he wants to be. A few weeks ago he opened up that he tries on my dresses, I reassured that it’s ok. I asked a few questions like do you feel like you want to be a girl and he said i don’t know I juts like how they feel. I said to him that he is so young he doesn’t have to have the answers now and he can continue to be curious and explore his identity and if he needed to talk I am always here.

Now he will put a particular dress of mine on in front of me but he’s very shy about it, I act completely normal with him because I truly do just want him to be himself.

But I am conscious of his vulnerability being autistic and I suspect OCD too (I also have this) so don’t want to lead him in any direction. However I have noticed he has become more withdrawn lately and I know it’s coupled with hormones too but I am worried about him.

He had some counselling with the WHAT centre but he didn’t open up at all and kept it superficial so I know therapy alone won’t help.

Really need some advice on what to do.

Our son is 3 and a half and has an NHS autism diagnosis. He is non-verbal (0 words), has substantial sensory-seeking needs, struggles a lot with social interaction, and has very limited personal care skills.

We live in London, where he attends a local nursery. We are completely lost on when we should actually apply for an EHCP and have no idea whose advice to trust at this point.

Initially, the nursery staff told us not to apply for an EHCP yet. They said it would be really difficult to get and that "mainstream schools are very good these days." They seemed to know their stuff, so we were okay with that at first. Later, we spoke to someone we know who actually works with our local authority on EHCPs, and they backed up the same story. Apparently, in our council, there is only one special school that accepts children in Reception, so it's strictly reserved for the 6 to 8 most severe cases across all disabilities in that school year. Because it's so unlikely he'd get a spot there, they advised waiting, letting him go to mainstream Reception, and then reassessing during that year with the school—possibly writing the EHCP with them to transfer him to an autism-specialist school for Year 1, as there are a few more of those available.

We were fine following that plan until two things happened. First, during his NHS assessment, the SLT verbally told us something similar to the nursery, but then wrote something totally different in the report—basically asking us to visit both mainstream and special settings to make an informed choice. She also recommended a local charity that gives tips to parents. When we spoke to the charity, they immediately told us "it's already late, start that EHCP application ASAP." They warned that putting him into mainstream Reception without support could be potentially traumatic, likening it to throwing someone in the ocean to see if they can swim.

The second thing is that we started private SLT recently, and this therapist also told us to apply straight away without waiting a single second. We informed the nursery, and they agreed to kick off the process and asked us to send a few lines from the private SLT. But as soon as we asked, the private SLT immediately started talking about fees and charges for providing those few lines. That suddenly gave me huge pause... is she giving us this urgent advice just so she can charge us a ton of money for reports and potential tribunal support?

We genuinely have zero idea what is best right now. It feels like everyone has a reason for saying what they say. The nursery and local authority might be delaying to avoid paperwork or save money because LA budgets are stretched. On the flip side, the private SLT could be financially biased, and while the charity is great, they've never actually met my child. I'm also worried I might just be overinterpreting the NHS report.

Has anyone in London been through something similar? Is it really better to apply for the EHCP now before Reception, or wait and do it through a mainstream school? Would really appreciate any insights from parents who've been there.

My son (4yo level 2 verbal, recently diagnosed) spends hours every day happily playing with legos. Basically any downtime we have at home he's building little Lego creations. At what point does it become too much??

My 5 yo son is doing summer school. He rides the bus with other mix aged special ed students. Today a boy who looks like he’s in middle school loudly screamed before we came on the bus. I didn’t think anything of it as I walked on the bus with my son. All of a sudden this kid lunges out of his seat & hits my son. I loudly tell him not to do that again. The bus driver immediately comes to the back to deal with the situation. She tells the boy to sit in his seat & not hit. The kid is completely disregulated & starts yelling and hitting himself and the seat behind him super hard. The bus driver tries to calm him down & semi succeeds. She is flustered by the situation and immediately drives away, not even waiting for the other kid who waits at the bus stop with us.

Tomorrow is the last day of summer school. My husband is on a work trip, & so it’s just me at home with 4 kids. I’m scared to put my son on the bus tomorrow but it’s also difficult to get everyone awake & ready to drive him to school

My boys, ADHD and ASD (1) severe ADHD cannot walk in any sort of vaguely organized pattern if it kills them. If I walk along side them I literally have to put my arm out so they don’t run into me, walk in front of me, step on my shoes, or trip me. Have chipped my teeth several times after losing my balance being near them.

We took them to the city and walking around was a minefield for me- who has horrible coordination to begin with. Both kids are in OT and have been for years.