I went to see my male Endo today (I have type 1 diabetes and hashimoto’s). I’ve gained about 10 lbs in the past year, have persistent fatigue, night sweats, insomnia, vaginal dryness, low libido, and increasing A1C. I’m 43 years old, and I ruled out thyroid, iron and vitamin d issues with my labs. I gently suggested perimenopause could be the issue.

He said I was too young for menopause and wanted to test me for Cushing’s disease. As we wrapped up, I asked if I could chat with the dietitian on his staff. He summoned her and left.

We went over my symptoms and she was immediately like, yeah, sounds like peri. I told her about the Endo’s reaction and she kind of rolled her eyes. She said I should do the labs just to rule it out but if those came back okay she would talk to him.

So shoutout to my dietitian and all of the ladies in healthcare helping to educate providers about this stuff.

I’m so over it. Every time I cough or sneeze, I have to pray that I don’t piss myself. I do the stupid visualization of raising my pelvic floor when I know it’s coming and it helps sometimes, but I hate having to do it. If I forget or the cough/sneeze surprises me, odds are I need to change. I don’t have enough underwear or shorts for this. We can’t do laundry at home right now, and I’m having to wash clothes at least twice a week because I’m having to change my clothes so often. I feel like I always smell like pee, even after I change. I just turned 38. I don’t want to wear a goddamn diaper. I’ve looked into period panties, but I worry I’ll just smell more like pee if it happens and I don’t change.

Sorry for the rant, I just needed to get it out.

Edit to add: I love this community and you all are amazing. There has been zero judgement and I can’t express how much I appreciate all of your responses. I’m a little tipsy and a little emotional, and you all are amazing.

I’m internally rage screaming. I’m 45 years old and for most of my adult life, my period has figured out how to come along with me on my vacations. She will find a way. Whether it’s starting 2 weeks early or 2 weeks late. Doesn’t matter. Earlier this month we took a 4 day trip that involved lots of river time. Period shows up the very first day. Tomorrow we fly to Washington and guess who got here today? One week early. Give me hot flashes because I am very much over this.

I started HRT about 2 months ago. 100 mg progesterone pill and .00375 patch. Lots of symptoms have improved but I am still so incredibly exhausted. Does anyone have any experience with this? I’m going to follow up with my doctor in one month.

I’ve been on estrogen for a while and it’s made a huge difference in most area. I’m happy with where things are overall in terms of libido and wanting sex. I’m also using vaginal estrogen cream 3x/week for about 6 weeks which has helped with other things, but I’m not seeing much change in clitoral sensitivity specifically. I am putting the creams on clit and labia. I also had a hysterectomy almost 2 years ago and I learned just now that cervix removal can effect function in some women.

Right now I can only reach orgasm using a strong vibrator. This didn’t used to be the case. nothing lighter or more subtle registers much at all. I was hoping the vaginal estrogen would help build sensitivity over time, but it’s been slower going than I expected.

Has anyone dealt with something similar? A few things I’m wondering about:

Did increasing sensitivity just take longer for you, or did you need to adjust your estrogen routine/dose/delivery method?

Did switching cream frequency or trying a different formulation (cream vs. suppository vs. ring) make a difference? My provider didn’t have me do a loading dose

Has anyone tried adding DHEA (vaginal/topical) alongside estrogen? Did it help with sensitivity specifically?

Any non-hormonal approaches that helped in the meantime (specific stimulation techniques, products)?

I love my spouse and my two pups. But it’s 2:44 am, spouse and both pups are snoring away, and I can’t sleep. Trying my best to not either get up and go to the couch, my recliner in my office, or the spare bedroom… or wake them all and kick them out of our bedroom.

And I’m hot.

Who else is up? Feel free to rant.

Does anyone going through peri have vision issues and constantly feeling off balance?? It’s really bad when I first wake up. I keep thinking I have a brain tumor and then that makes my anxiety worse! The balance thing is really making me depressed.

I work at a place where people keep a professional distance from one another, so I can't tell them that I'm in perimenopause. I'm on HRT that works very well and largely keeps rage at bay, except for highly stressful incidents at work - once every few months. I'm in security, mostly chill, and we prevent damage to priceless artifacts. A very stressful incident happened, where two tourists were about to do damage and didn't even care. I'm a quiet person but was alarmed, and raised my voice to get their attention so much that it boomed across the room, then yelled, "that barrier is there for a reason." It didn't phase them one bit. I could have simply told them. I don't know where the rage spilled from.

Acouple of tourists sympathized. However, a colleague on the same shift saw this happen. She didn't like me before, for some reason. Now she likes me even less. It must be jarring to be presented with something so incongruous with how I always present myself - quiet, sweet, demure VS banshee. I don't like her ether, but I worry about what she thinks now. Any help appreciated

Since I’ve hit 40 (I’m now 42) I have severe debilitating fatigue during my period. I also get severely achy legs like I have the flu or worked out, I can barely walk. I do have adenomyosis and not sure if that’s a contributing factor but phew! I can barely function on my period.

Currently been on Estrogen patch since the beginning of the year now 0.75 and 200 mg of progesterone every night.
Had request requested to start testosterone cream but now I’m on the fence. I heard it would help with my libido, which has been in the toilet, even though I am generally feeling better in every other way. and that it could possibly help with my energy levels. I am also type 1.5 diabetic without insulin so al it of my energy slumps are probably due to that.
I also read somewhere that can cause hair loss and that it can cause facial hair and hair unwanted places.

I’m hesitant to start it because right now I have found a pretty OK my mood swings are under control, general demeanor is better and feel significant improvement in self, balance and I don’t wanna do anything that throws that into jeopardy.

45 year old female still getting periods. not asking for medical advice jist for people’s experiences. dr checked my testosterone levels and they must have been low enough to prescribe said she would wanna check them again on a month.

could the testosterone cause rage because that is why I started hrt and have managed to get away from that now

I just need to complain for a minute.

I’ve been on 200mg of progesterone, a .025 mg estrogen patch and 1mg daily testosterone cream for a bit. When I was originally put on the estrogen patch, they gave me the Dotti patch and it was amazing. I felt so good for the three months I had it. Then, when I got my refill, the pharmacy gave me a generic estrogen patch and it’s doing nothing for me. All the symptoms I had before going on HRT are back: achy joints, heart palpitations, food noise, and the mood swings have been intense since starting the generic patch.

I have an appt with my NP Gyno next week to see if I can go back on Dotti ASAP if it’s available. But the last few weeks have been awful and I needed to vent about it. Has anyone else had this experience?

I just turned 40 and have been experiencing perimenopause symptoms for the last 6 months or so. I can deal with the hot flashes, night sweats, and heart palps, but this brain fog and derealization is messing me up. Ive been on SSRIs for the last 8 years with no issues but now I am more anxious than ever. I'm super forgetful and I feel like I am in dream sequence sometimes. My dr said I am not a candidate for HRT because a clotting disorder. Is there anything that anyone has used to improve cognitive function and brain fog but isn't HRT?

I've resolved the itchy ear, itchy everywhere, insomnia, 4am wake ups, strange smells, brain fog, fatigue, anxiety, lack of motivation, murderous rage and just about everything else I've seen mentioned here, all without HRT.

Hell, my body traded hot flashes for cold flashes, which is actually in my favor given I live in Miami and I can use less AC as a result and jeep my electric bill low.

But this! My period is now showing up every 2 weeks! I thought perimenopause was leading towards less periods, not more!

The last time I had this was ages 12 to 15, when I was then put on birth control to regulate it. I got off bitth control at 18 and my period stayed precisely every 21 to 25 days since.

Now, at 48, my body apparently wants to take a trip down memory lane. 🤦🏿‍♀️ Between this and having excessive pimples for the first time in my life, I'm totally and completely confused as to what my body is up to.

I don't want HRT, so take this as a vent session. But anyone else doubling up on their period? I'm on the 3rd consecutive month of this.

Today I started HRT. I’m 44 and have been experiencing various symptoms for at least the last two years. The past 12months have been the worst, with a really predictable cycle of negative head space, low libido, wanting to blow up my life and run away to the forest with my cat, high levels of anxiety and feeling low, zero resilience, joint pain, 3am wake-ups, horrifically heavy periods that last two days and give me flu like symptoms and nausea, feeling dreadful until I ovulate, having ONE day of feeling awesome and love everything and everyone - before it all begins again.

I’d heard stories from friends about being brushed off by doctors, so I forked out $370 to have an online consult with a menopause doctor. And what an incredible feeling it was to be listened to, understood, believed, and offered options. 45mins of being able to discuss all my symptoms before coming away with a prescription for estrogel, cream, progesterone pills and follow up blood tests. She’s suggested I also supplement with magnesium glycinate, Vitamin D and creatine. Plan is to give it a go before looking to include testosterone, and even offered a GLP1 if I felt I needed that.

I wanted to cry. I know I’m incredibly fortunate to be able to take this path. I’ve been gaslighting myself for so long that what I was feeling wasn’t really real, or bad enough, or warranted a doctor’s appointment. I know it’s early days, but feeling hopeful that some relief may be on the horizon.

I guess I can't complain, so far I've had very little physical peri symptoms. But I hadn't had menstrual cramps since my 20s, and suddenly, a month before I turn 50, I'm lying in bed crippled with the pain. Is this for real??!

I’ve been reading through the top posts here, and honestly, they’re incredibly depressing. A lot of them talk about missing their younger selves, feeling unattractive, losing their passion for life, and struggling with depression since hitting their 40s.

I originally joined this sub to learn more about perimenopause and hopefully pick up some practical advice and positive perspectives. Instead, I’ve come away feeling a bit terrified.

The overall tone feels so negative and defeated that it’s making me anxious about what’s ahead.
So I’d love to hear a different side of the story.
What are the positive things about being in your 40s and 50s? What has improved in your life with age? And for those who are thriving, what habits, mindsets, or lifestyle choices do you think helped you avoid ending up feeling like some of the people in the top posts?

I’d really appreciate some hopeful perspectives.

My gyno insisted on removing my Mirena IUD today because I've had it for 11 years. 11 blissful years of never having a single period, after years of monstrously heavy ones! It was a cinch to take out (unlike putting it in). She's hoping I'm done with bleeding completely, since the IUD was probably not doing much anymore, and I'm crossing my fingers that's the case! I'm 49, and started HRT last year for perimenopause (I was having symptoms a couple of years before starting HRT). I seriously never want to have a period again.

Anyone here dying from exhaustion? Like I am hiking 15 miles one weekend and not able to get off the couch this week. I am always tired and sleepy but get no sleep at night, I am so so exhausted of existing like this. I have a new job that starts soon and I am worried about being laid off because I won’t be able to perform. I have low Vitamin D and Ferratin and taking supplements but don’t know if it’s hormonal imbalance or anemia or vit D anymore. This is not ok. Why is exhaustion not considered a symptom for treatment? This is impacting my day to day

56 and STILL in peri - had a full battery of medical tests this year bc doc wanted to be sure there were no serious issues hiding as prolonged peri. Nope! Tests say I have the reproductive system of a 35yo 🫩.

Oh! I do have a medical condition that absolutely prohibits taking estrogen - in plant or other form. So while I appreciate the usual suggestions, anything that impacts my natural estrogen decline is completely off the table. No shade to others, just not an option for me.

So sad. Anyway...

For the past few years, I've had some insomnia. The most entertaining being waking up somewhere between 2-4am feeling positively energized and productive. That was manageable by just getting up and pecking away at some little project for 30-60 minutes.

Lately there's a shift. I'm having trouble GETTING to sleep. And it's not feeling energized, more of a wanting to just start screaming. Like, I'm tired but also deep down freaked out about nothing? (Everything?). It's exasperating and leaves me tired every morning.

My sleep hygiene is excellent. I just needed to vent.

Is this a possibility?

I started perimenopause before 40 so GP automatically prescribed HRT as per UK guidelines.

I started on Evorel Sequi patches but was having 2 periods a month plus a lot of spotting so she changed me to Evorel 50mcg estradiol patches + 2 weeks per month I take 200mg Utrogestan.

I’ve always had sleep issues and the Utrogestan helps a lot so I was hoping it might be possible to take this every night but not sure if she would agree since I’m still having regular periods.

Does anyone know if it’s worth making an appt to ask her this or if it’s against NHS guidelines so there’s no point in asking? My GP surgery seems to be quite ‘guideline strict’. Thanks!

Hi so I’m going through perimenopause and have a thyroid condition caused by having cancer previously. I’m 35. I’m wanting to get pregnant (yes even in the early stages of menopause I’m trying). Already talked to an OBGYN so I can’t be on minoxidil since it’s not safe. I started taking collagen and biotin this week combined. Does anyone else use this??

Sorry this is long. I’m just looking for some advice or words of comfort and solidarity.

In the past few months I have noticed something new.

I will be fine and then start to feel…off. Like maybe I feel a slight headache coming on or I’m tired or hungry or something.

And then my face will get hot and start to flush. Next I feel shaky and almost like my body is buzzing. Then my heart starts to race, my butt and thighs start to sweat, and I’ll need to have a bowel movement (sorry if TMI). It is very much like physical anxiety but it also is scary and sends me into almost a panic attack. Like the physical symptoms start first and then I get into a mental spiral. Sometimes I even feel a bit nauseas.

This has happened 3 times since the beginning of June. The first 2 times I attributed to stress as I had a huge work training I had to run the next day on the night the first one happened, and the second one happened on the 4th of July in the afternoon. I was out in the heat all day and tired so I figured that triggered it. But the one that happened last night was really out of nowhere. All 3 times it has happened I was either on my period or having ovulation bleeding so maybe that has something to do with it.

What helps to calm it is either taking an Ativan (which I hate to do because I’m scared of addiction), or if it’s nighttime I can take my progesterone and magnesium glycinate and that will calm it down. Box breathing helps a bit too.

I am on HRT (.05 e patch and 100mg of nightly progesterone) and have been since the beginning of November. My other symptoms are well managed now so I have no complaints other than this and occasionally bleeding twice a month.

Any ideas on what is happening? Is this how a hot flash feels or is it an adrenaline surge? It does feel like my flight or flight is being triggered. I also notice when it happens that the sweat on my thighs will smell like onions or something.

Could the HRT be causing it? Or could it be my levels dipping too low?

Just looking for some shared experiences to help this feel less scary. I’m a single mom so I’m terrified that this will keep happening and affect my ability to care for my two kids.

Thank you for taking the time to read if you got this far 💜