AND I had a gay lady doctor. Did it all nationally without any incisions 🤩🥳😎

Hello everyone. I am 50, and my husband and I have been married for 20 years, and we have three teenage daughters. My husband has not touched me sexually at all for two years. Before that, we technically had a dead bedroom for the past four years because sex was every other month or so. Every three months or so for the past two years, I have told him how much I miss him and how much it hurts me that we are no longer intimate. Each time, he says he will do better, but nothing has changed.

I had a total hysterectomy two weeks ago. Last night, I didn’t sleep because I cried all night. I gave him an ultimatum to resume our sexual relationship in a month or i will divorce him. He says he will do better, but I am having trouble believing him. The main reason why i cried all night instead of sleeping is because I finally see how he has completely disregarded my feelings for years. I don’t want to get divorced, but i don’t see how we can get past this. Neither of us has strayed from the marriage.

Did anyone else consider divorce for the first time soon after your hystectomy? Did you go through with it, and do you have regrets?

I’m sore and tired but it’s done! I wanted to share how vindicated I feel. My regular OB GYN ignored my symptoms for years and told me an IUD would fix it. It didn’t. It made it so much worse. It took six months to get the appointment with the Advanced GYN. She knew what it was and that I needed have surgery asap. She scheduled me for the earliest date possible, today. She didn’t even require an MRI because she listened to my symptoms and my history. Anyway, it’s out now. Doctor told me my uterus was 15x the size it should have been and it was essentially the size a 20 week pregnancy. Too often as a woman, I feel like we either ignore our symptoms or take the first doctor’s word for it. I am so happy I saw this through and the source of my living nightmare is gone!!

So I thought I’d (44) share my 7 days as someone with a lifelong, diagnosed anxiety disorder. There will be TMI, be warned. :)

Day of the surgery was awesome. I was super excited and lucky enough to be the first in surgery so there wasn’t a backlog wait. I went in fine and came out fine. When I woke up and started moving the catheter was definitely the most painful part. I walked like a penguin.

They offered morphine so I took it but that was the only time. It felt like an elephant sat on my chest and burned my shoulders and neck. This is apparently fairly common and went away but it panicked me. After that I only did ibuprofen.

Day 1 PO: In the morning I was able to fart. It felt like shoving a baseball through a grape. When the catheter was removed I peed within minutes. I expected some burning but there was no pain. I just had to wait on the toilet because my pee came in spurts lol. Also, with all the bloating it was hard to breathe while sitting on the toilet.

In the afternoon I went from absolutely fine to soaked-in-sweat panic attacks. I was supposed to leave that day but with my heart rate at 150 they wanted to keep me just to make sure. They gave me a Xanax and all that did was burn my brain for a few seconds. But my panic prevailed lol. I spent all that night panicking then falling asleep and repeating that cycle.

Day 2 PO: I was able to go home late morning and the panic went away by 90%. Apparently I really hate hospitals. The ride home was ok because I had a pillow against my torso. I was able to actually start breathing while peeing again.

Day 3 PO: after a night of absolutely insane and intense dreams I pooped in the morning! I used the moo method and was patient. It only hurt just before the first time then it was fine after. I mean, it helps that I have IBS and am mostly liquid anyway lol. This was the day some random muscle pains started.

Day 4 PO: Pretty much the same as Day 3 for me

Day 5 PO: Today the weird vertigo and fog went away and I was actually clearheaded! More random pains throughout. Had a slight panic attack when my right arm started hurting because of course my brain went to blood clot.

Day 6 PO: The pain is barely there and getting in and out of bed is easy again. My right buttcheek, behind my knee and calf started hurting. Not terrible, just a tugging pain. Cue another panic attack because once again my brain went to blood clots.

Day 7 PO: Each day gets a bit better and the pain has been the easiest part of this.

Each day I walked every few hours. First around the house then around the cul de sac. I have a wedge pillow that can be adjusted and that helped a lot.

So here’s my breakdown: I was completely prepared for the pain aspect. But I was completely unprepared for the emotional / psychological. I’ve been under anesthesia before but never had an organ removed. The trauma to my body definitely activated my already-existing mental traumas in a way I didn’t anticipate. It got better but that second night took me to some dark places and I’m so glad I had help getting through it.

What I’m concentrating on now is trying not to let my fear overtake me as my body heals. I’m getting all these random muscle, joint and nerve pains and they freak me out. I am terrified of blood clots.

I keep reminding myself that I was in a weird position for hours during surgery. That there are a ton of nerves in the area they were playing around in and it makes sense that it triggers some of these pains.

The surgery went really well, I’ve had no physical issues and I’ve been moving like I’m supposed to. Yes, when red flag things like the leg pain happen I need to keep track and make sure there’s no swelling, redness, heat, etc. But the chances of clots aren’t high and I’m doing everything I can to make sure not to be still for too long. So I’m focusing on reminding myself of that, lol.

I did the right thing, and I know when I’m on the other side of this I will be so elated. My Doctor was amazing (shout out to Dr. Hashemi!) and not being severely anemic for the first time in literal years will be incredible!

Also not bleeding every day for months, lol!

So the last two times I’ve had sex, about a day after I feel like I’m getting a UTI. My only symptom is feeling like I have to pee, and then some burning while I pee. Why is this happening?! Am I really getting a uti after sex each time?? Yes I pee after. Please help!

Oooof I'm so mad at my body! I had laproscopic surgery before for gallbladder removal, surgical glue, no problem. I had glue on for the full 2 or 3 weeks after and the doctor had a heckuva time trying to get it off at the post op, THAT level of no problem with glue.

This time. Robot assisted laproscopic hysterectomy, 5 incisions on abdomen with a 6th longer incision above the pubic bone when the fibroid was actually 33% bigger than expected. That larger incision was dressed and glued. The others just glued.

I am fat, and my tummy hangs down a little bit, but it's always been squishy. The dressing felt firm, and I was very tender there, notably above the incision. The surgery went an hour longer than expected, and they kept me overnight because of complications (endometriosis, right behind ya! It was adhering my colon, bladder, uterus, and ovaries together.)

Day 5, I started to get itchy on the 5 tiny incision sites.

On Day 7, I wanted to claw my guts open. My friend I'm staying with is an RN, so he used his pen to mark the area around the incisions for us to check: glue reaction, infection?

Day 8, every incision has a bigger spread red area. And I have a rash on my back.

I send pics to my doctor. "Glue reaction, take it off, come in tomorrow." My friend got as much peeled off as he could, and then the big incision dressing and glue in one go (worst free bikini wax ever lol)

Welp! The big incision, where that firm tenderness was? It didn't stop being firm once the dressing was gone. I took a picture and if you put my lower tummy fat and a slice of spiral ham next to each other you'd be like "it's the same picture", THAT'S how badly chewed up my skin was from this glue reaction 😭

I saw the doctor today. She's confirmed all 6 incisions are looking great, and is impressed with how up and mobile I am. (I am too! I was out hard after gallbladder and that was much less of a surgery.)

I am taking meds for the itchiness (she thinks I'm allergic to more than I know, might even be allergic to the detergent my friend uses on his sheets, that might be the rash?). Steroid cream for the incisions and rash. And she's got me on a week off antibiotics *just in case* because she doesn't want to miss something small and have it become a bigger problem for me.

I asked about the firm tender tummy. She says yes, that's from the glue, and says "dependant edema".

I'm seeing her again next Wednesday for my REAL post op appointment but in the meantime:

* Dependant edema. This doesn't seem to be what people are calling swelly belly?

* Has anyone else dealt with abdominal dependant edema?

* Any tips and tricks on how to help it drain?

* How long did this edema last for you?

It's SO tender and it freaks me out. Like I said, it's always been a squishy fatty area. This is like someone slipped cardboard under my skin, flat and firm and weird and rippling.

Every search I've tried, I can't get it to be about post surgery, the tummy pooch, etc. Search engines feel useless, so I'm hoping someone here has some news. I don't even need good news 😂 I just need info to stop freaking out that I don't know what to do. Even knowing this is your new body forever and ever, have fun with the deep firm edema pain" would be better than the wondering.

Thank you so much! 💜

Guys I finally got it done! My medical team was amazing. Mine was done laparoscopically and they removed my uterus, cervix, and tubes through my vagina. I was asleep at 9:30am and they called my bf at 11:45am saying everything went perfectly, I was asleep till about 1pm.
It’s only day 2 of recovery so I will come back and post an update.

This is what’s happened so far for those of you getting ready for surgery. (I did mine through the VA Hospital)

When I woke up I wasn’t in much pain just discomfort. The dr had injected a nerve block in my abdomen and that made all the difference that first day. They got me to my outpatient room and I was so thirsty I finally got to drink some water. This had never happened before but the anesthesia did make me throw up. So there went all the water 😂 but they gave me zofran to help and it stopped the vomitting. They told me I couldn’t leave until I peed, but due to the nerve block I couldn’t feel anything so I didn’t get out of the hospital until almost 6pm. During this time I was given 2 IV bags of fluid to help me go pee and I was in and out of sleep just kind of dozing off randomly but had 0 appetite.
After I finally got home, still no appetite but I drank some oat milk so I can take my pain meds.
Unfortunately the nerve block went away in the middle of the night so I started to feel everything and had to get up to pee like 4 times so I didn’t sleep much. I know today will suck too but it can only get better from here!!

The pain is a 8/10 and that’s huge considering my periods were always 10/10 in terms of pain, it already feels different. This pain is so much more bearable. The pain definitely does feel reminiscent of cramps though so keep that in mind. I use my heating pad, I just kept it away from my incisions.

I am having gas pain from the carbon dioxide they inflated my abdomen with. It feels like it’s sort of traveling through my body looking for a way out. I feel it move from my right shoulder to chest to abdomen and it’s uncomfortable but not horrible.

I started burping yesterday so already my intestines seem to be waking up! I’m hoping for a fart today. I started MiraLAX a week before surgery and stool softeners 3 days before I definitely recommend it!

I’ve included photos of my incisions! I don’t have any bruising so far and they even went in through my belly button so I should have minimal scarring!

Thanks for reading!

I’m a 31 year old woman who has been dealing with excessively painful periods for the last decade or so. Fibroids run in my family, so as my pain grew worse and worse, I began to suspect that fibroids were the culprit. In 2022, when I was 27, an OBGYN confirmed that fibroids were present, but was unconcerned with the symptoms they were causing. I found a new OB a couple of years later who was extremely caring and affirming. She did some imaging and was able to confirm that I had seven fibroids of varying sizes and in different areas, including a large one that was pressing on my bladder. My MRI also showed a cyst on my ovary that was suspected to be endometriosis (which was later confirmed with surgery.) My OB went over different surgery options, including myomectomy and hysterectomy. She recommended a hysterectomy based on my case & the fact that I don’t want children. Due to my age and a few other health issues, I opted to give the myomectomy a try first. I had a laparoscopic surgery one year ago in August 2025. It ended up taking much longer than originally planned due to the location and size of my fibroids, along with stage 4 endometriosis that they uncovered while they were in there. They had to leave two small fibroids in my uterus because there basically wouldn’t have been anything left to sew up, and they excised/ablated some endo, but the endo was mostly beyond my surgeon’s capacity and she let me know that I would have to see oncology for future surgeries due to the severity of my endo. My uterus is adhered to my bowel and they were unable to fix it.

My question is for those who have similar diagnoses and have had a hysterectomy: did the hysterectomy alleviate your symptoms at all, do you regret it, did it improve your quality of life? Since my surgery, I’ve continued to have painful periods. I also experience nausea, bloating, extreme brain fog and fatigue, hip and joint pain, etc. that worsens before my period begins. I have to plan my life around my period and it’s exhausting, but I have concerns around removing an entire organ and continuing to have these same issues — if it’s not going to ease my symptoms, I don’t know that I want to make such a permanent decision, since hysterectomies do not cure endometriosis. I would love to hear the good, bad and the ugly. TYSM for reading if you made it this far. I may edit the post with additional details if they come to mind.

I had a V-NOTES hysterectomy about nine months ago. They removed my uterus, cervix, and tubes, but left both ovaries. I’m 47, so I’m probably in perimenopause too.

The whole surgery experience was honestly great. My recovery was incredibly easy, and after about a week I felt completely fine. No complications, no pain, no problems at all. Everything went perfectly.

The only unexpected thing is that my libido has increased like crazy. And I mean crazy. I honestly wasn’t expecting this at all. Before the surgery, I thought my sex drive might decrease, but the exact opposite happened.

Has anyone else experienced this? Is it related to the hysterectomy, keeping the ovaries, perimenopause, or just some weird hormonal chaos?

Hi everyone. I had a hysterectomy on 16th July and was discharged with both a urinary catheter and an abdominal drain. The drain was removed after 3 days, but I've been having a small amount of clear, watery fluid oozing from the drain site on and off ever since. Has anyone else experienced this? How long did it last?

Also, has anyone here gone home with a urinary catheter for a week or longer after surgery? During my operation, my uterus was densely stuck to my bladder, and my surgeon had to repair a small bladder opening. I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone who has had a similar experience and how your recovery went. My surgeon is planning to remove it on Saturday which will be 10dpo but she is going to clamp and trail. I am a bit worried as having a catheter has been the worst.

Hi! I had my hysterectomy 4 years ago. Time flies. Anyway I have noticed that my armpit body chemistry has changed. The only thing that has been working for me is a Thai crystal deodorant stick but lately I’ve been noticing it isn’t cutting it in this heat. Side note I also use an antibacterial body wash. Anyone have the same thing? Find a holy grail deodorant? Help!!

Wife is going to be getting a laparoscopic hysterectomy in the near future for her adeno. We just relocated to a new city about 90 mins away. She is leaning towards sticking with the provider she originally saw for her consult as opposed to establishing with a new one at our local hospital (Froedtert over UW Health for any Wisconsin folks). For clarification, none of the providers have it in their profile that they specialize in adeno. Froedtert doctor is someone she has a prior rapport with and none of the UW providers that physician personally recommended seem worth it to her to switch (ie don’t specifically seem to specialize in adeno themselves). Bottom line, would it be crazy/insanely painful or uncomfortable to drive 90 mins home? Is it worth finding someone at UW so she doesn’t have to be in the car that long post-surgery? Any advice is appreciated. Thanks!

Edit: Thank you all for the replies!!

So I’m 6 weeks post op and had my check up with the doctor. He said everything looks great and I can resume normal activities 🎉. The thing is I’m still in a lot of pain. It feels like bad cramps in what used to be my uterus that go to my butt. He said it’s probably just phantom pain and if it continues to give him a call back. Idk…I’ve never had phantom pain before but this feels intense…like too intense to be all in my head. Has anyone been in this much pain after 6 weeks?

Hello All - I am day 6 post-op. Surgery (radical, Da Vinci) was for a severe case of stage 4 endometriosis, and the recovery process for me has been pretty rough. Getting comfortable at night has been particularly challenging, so I’m not sleeping well.

Does a pregnancy pillow actually help? I am not a usual back sleeper, and I feel like my insides are not supported despite propping pillows around me every which way. Any recommendations? Many, many thanks in advance.

So like the title says, I’m five days postop for a total laparoscopic hysterectomy, and one of my small incisions opened. I went to the ER as advised by my doctor and they put Steri-Strips on there however since I am obese the strips popped off the second that I bent down to try to wipe myself after using the bathroom. With that the wound reopened I’ve currently restocked the Steri-Strips with some skin glue that I had at home and then put a Band-Aid over just the overhang of the Steri-Strips. However, I’m kind of freaking out. I’m going to watch the wound tonight and then call the doctor again tomorrow but really just support would be great because I’m really scared that this is gonna cause after surgical complications.

I had my pre op appointment today and one of my questions made everyone laugh and think.

I asked if the robot had a name. They never thought to name it! Idk if in the next 2 weeks they will come up with one. They were kinda shocked they hadn't thought of it so I am sure this will be a convo for them.

I wanted to go in with names just in case. If you could name your robot, what would you name it? I'm assuming it's a she...

Not sure I would want it to be a boy robot. Lol.

Just got my teeth braces on (I am an adult, just never had them as a kid) I’m hoping to get a hysterectomy in April, but I’ll still have them then. I’ve read that piercing jewelry isn’t allowed because electricity might arc to it (because metal) Are braces the same? Seems like the obvious answer would yes, but I thought I’d ask

Edit: Thanks everyone. Huge relief that it’s fine. I don’t want to have a mouth rn

Hi all,

I have read so, so many posts in this subreddit and thought I was prepared, but it is hitting me hard. I went for an appointment on June 19th where my OBGYN found a 12.5 cm fibroid growing inside my uterus. We talked about options and confirmed a hysterectomy was the best choice. I went back on Monday July 13th and it has grown to 13.5 cm. My surgeon has told me she is going to attempt robotic laproscopy first, but was honest that she will likely switch to a open procedure because of how big the fibroid is. I had my blood work done on July 20th. I left work about 2 hours ago to start my medical leave before my surgery on Friday morning and the weight of everything is really hitting me.

I need to start packing my hospital bag, but it makes it feel so real. I can't believe in under 48 hours I will be sitting in the hospital getting ready to be cut open. I don't do well with not having a plan so not knowing what the surgery will actually be until I'm awake in recovery is killing me. Will I just have my 4 cuts for the robot or will I have a bigger incision? Are my ovaries actually okay and healthy or will they find they need to come out, too? What the hell am I going to do to not lose my mind being in the house?

I usually smoke weed to help with my anxiety and I am on prozac, but I have stopped smoking for my surgery. Now that it is right around the corner I am eyeing my bong like CRAZY and wanting so desperately to make the fear and paralysis go away.

I have been talking to my therapist about it every week leading up to it. I'm terrified of feeling the changes in my body (like my organs moving and settling). I'm very active and knowing I won't be able to get up and do as much as I want/can every day is killing me. I have a great support system but I already am feeling so irritated that I won't be able to do every day things and will have to rely on others to help me. I know this surgery needs to happen and I know I will feel better, but I'm just so scared of what happens next. How did you all get through the anxiety leading up to your surgery without wanting to peel your skin off? Any tips to survive the next day and a half?

Thanks for all the tips I've gained from this sub already, and for reading all of this if you did!

Need a little advice from anyone that's been in the same position please. Sorry will be a long one!

I've been offered a hysterectomy and wondering if I should just go for it.

For background, I'm 37 and childless by choice. I've had painful periods since my teens and in my early 20s was lucky enough to have a doctor that listened and had a laparoscopy that diagnosed stage 1 endo which they removed. And I did feel some relief after. About 5 years later i had another lap which didn't really do anything. After that I decided my periods could just be managed with birth control. I didn't want to go though surgery again for no relief.

I used to take the pill back to back but that ended up causing migraines so had to come off. For the last 5 years I've been on depo which on one hand has been amazing as it's stopped my periods. But on the other causes weight gain and I believe mental health issues though I can't be 100% sure sure about that. Also potentially bad long term side effects if I stay on it.

I went to my GP recently due to new pain and frequently peeing, I assumed I had a UTI. An ultrasound revealed a complex cyst but it was only small, 22mm. My GP didn't like the look of it so an urgent referral to gynae . I'm in the UK and have the NHS but also have private health insurance. So I decided to go private. After an MRI been surprisingly told they could see no evidence of Endo and the cyst resolved itself but possible adenomyosis. Now this is where I'm confused. My uterus has always been described as normal looking. How likely do I have Adeno? The Specialist said a hysterectomy, retaining my ovaries, would likely solve all my problems. No need for birth control and as I don't want children the best solution.

My concern is this is still big surgery and not to be taken lightly. And with only possible adenomyosis is it worth going for? Private health care here seems very keen to treat compared to the wait as see approach by the NHS which is what I'm used to.

If they do find no adenomyosis, I've basically had surgery to just not need birth control anymore, which I've been on since I was a teen and which I hate taking but is that for the right reasons?

Just wondering what anyone one else would do in this situation. Thank you for reading my thoughts!

I am 12dpo from a robotic assisted laparoscopic hysterectomy. I go on this Friday for my 2 week check up and I don’t know if I should say something to my dr about the pathology report or not. I am 52 yo and started bleeding on Feb 27 2026 and didn’t stop bleeding until my hysterectomy 12 days ago. She had me on continuous provera to stop the bleeding that didn’t work then put me on Megestrol to stop the bleeding and that didn’t work. I have at least 5 ER visits because of severe hemorrhaging and clots the size of my hand between Feb and June. My dr then decides in May that she wants to do a hysteroscopy D&C and Novasure ablation to stop the bleeding even though my April Pap smear and biopsy came back inconclusive because it was too much blood and clotting she couldn’t get a good sample. I also had a transvaginal ultrasound at the same time that should my uterus was enlarged but she proceeded with procedure and it was a fail because of the bleeding and clotting. I was so disappointed because for 4 months straight was so hard on my body and mental. I already have a blood disorder and can’t figure for the life of me why would you let me bleed continuously like this. I looked on my past medical records dating back to 2012 because i have always had abnormal uterine bleeding with a heterogeneous myometrium (adenomyosis) and one ultrasound even said suggestive of adenomyosi!! I had to literally cry and beg for a hysterectomy and I am so grateful I was able to get it and I see no blood but I think it bothers me the most that my dr says she still has no answers why I was bleeding like this but your pathology report is normal and benign no cancers or precancers for which I am truly grateful don’t get me wrong but the path report I read in MyChart says deep and superficial adenomyosis! On top of that she said she tussled with trying to remove my uterus whole from my vagina for 30mins but it was too large(400grams) and she didn’t want to give me an abdominal cut so she took the scalpel and cut it in have to get it out. I said did you do a morcellation and she said no so I was very upset because why would you risk my life and not remove it correctly when you didn’t know what was going on with my uterus!! I’m sorry for the rant I’m just trying to understand some things. Oan I am healing well still in pain but I’m only 12 days out and the pain is less everyday. I do have a continuous lower pelvic cramp that never seems to leave and terrible lower abdominal pain every time I have a BM sorry tmi

I’m 10 weeks post op. Had everything taken: uterus, tubes, ovaries, cervix. And all the endo they could find. Starting week 8 I had low back pain and just assumed it was because I fell in love with my couch during recovery. I’m trying to move my body more. I just can’t get past the ache in my lower back this whole time. Anyone else?

I had a total hysterectomy about 10 weeks ago. My recovery had been ok but a bit slow. In the last 2 weeks I’ve noticed a significant increase in water retention in my legs. They are super swollen heavy and hurt.
Wondering if this is related to my surgery. Has anyone experienced this? Even walking feels hard a d does hurt. And I am pretty uncomfortable overall.