I went to see my male Endo today (I have type 1 diabetes and hashimoto’s). I’ve gained about 10 lbs in the past year, have persistent fatigue, night sweats, insomnia, vaginal dryness, low libido, and increasing A1C. I’m 43 years old, and I ruled out thyroid, iron and vitamin d issues with my labs. I gently suggested perimenopause could be the issue.

He said I was too young for menopause and wanted to test me for Cushing’s disease. As we wrapped up, I asked if I could chat with the dietitian on his staff. He summoned her and left.

We went over my symptoms and she was immediately like, yeah, sounds like peri. I told her about the Endo’s reaction and she kind of rolled her eyes. She said I should do the labs just to rule it out but if those came back okay she would talk to him.

So shoutout to my dietitian and all of the ladies in healthcare helping to educate providers about this stuff.

I’m so over it. Every time I cough or sneeze, I have to pray that I don’t piss myself. I do the stupid visualization of raising my pelvic floor when I know it’s coming and it helps sometimes, but I hate having to do it. If I forget or the cough/sneeze surprises me, odds are I need to change. I don’t have enough underwear or shorts for this. We can’t do laundry at home right now, and I’m having to wash clothes at least twice a week because I’m having to change my clothes so often. I feel like I always smell like pee, even after I change. I just turned 38. I don’t want to wear a goddamn diaper. I’ve looked into period panties, but I worry I’ll just smell more like pee if it happens and I don’t change.

Sorry for the rant, I just needed to get it out.

Edit to add: I love this community and you all are amazing. There has been zero judgement and I can’t express how much I appreciate all of your responses. I’m a little tipsy and a little emotional, and you all are amazing.

Doesn’t anybody else find this specific time so bizarre ?! Lol

Today I started HRT. I’m 44 and have been experiencing various symptoms for at least the last two years. The past 12months have been the worst, with a really predictable cycle of negative head space, low libido, wanting to blow up my life and run away to the forest with my cat, high levels of anxiety and feeling low, zero resilience, joint pain, 3am wake-ups, horrifically heavy periods that last two days and give me flu like symptoms and nausea, feeling dreadful until I ovulate, having ONE day of feeling awesome and love everything and everyone - before it all begins again.

I’d heard stories from friends about being brushed off by doctors, so I forked out $370 to have an online consult with a menopause doctor. And what an incredible feeling it was to be listened to, understood, believed, and offered options. 45mins of being able to discuss all my symptoms before coming away with a prescription for estrogel, cream, progesterone pills and follow up blood tests. She’s suggested I also supplement with magnesium glycinate, Vitamin D and creatine. Plan is to give it a go before looking to include testosterone, and even offered a GLP1 if I felt I needed that.

I wanted to cry. I know I’m incredibly fortunate to be able to take this path. I’ve been gaslighting myself for so long that what I was feeling wasn’t really real, or bad enough, or warranted a doctor’s appointment. I know it’s early days, but feeling hopeful that some relief may be on the horizon.

Edit to add: I’ve been reading this sub for a long time, and felt so validated by other women’s experiences that it gave me the courage to ask for help x

I’m internally rage screaming. I’m 45 years old and for most of my adult life, my period has figured out how to come along with me on my vacations. She will find a way. Whether it’s starting 2 weeks early or 2 weeks late. Doesn’t matter. Earlier this month we took a 4 day trip that involved lots of river time. Period shows up the very first day. Tomorrow we fly to Washington and guess who got here today? One week early. Give me hot flashes because I am very much over this.

I’ve been on estrogen for a while and it’s made a huge difference in most area. I’m happy with where things are overall in terms of libido and wanting sex. I’m also using vaginal estrogen cream 3x/week for about 6 weeks which has helped with other things, but I’m not seeing much change in clitoral sensitivity specifically. I am putting the creams on clit and labia. I also had a hysterectomy almost 2 years ago and I learned just now that cervix removal can effect function in some women.

Right now I can only reach orgasm using a strong vibrator. This didn’t used to be the case. nothing lighter or more subtle registers much at all. I was hoping the vaginal estrogen would help build sensitivity over time, but it’s been slower going than I expected.

Has anyone dealt with something similar? A few things I’m wondering about:

Did increasing sensitivity just take longer for you, or did you need to adjust your estrogen routine/dose/delivery method?

Did switching cream frequency or trying a different formulation (cream vs. suppository vs. ring) make a difference? My provider didn’t have me do a loading dose

Has anyone tried adding DHEA (vaginal/topical) alongside estrogen? Did it help with sensitivity specifically?

Any non-hormonal approaches that helped in the meantime (specific stimulation techniques, products)?

I started HRT about 2 months ago. 100 mg progesterone pill and .00375 patch. Lots of symptoms have improved but I am still so incredibly exhausted. Does anyone have any experience with this? I’m going to follow up with my doctor in one month.

I am sure I have been peri since I was 38 (7 years now) and I am finally going to my GP to ask for peri-support.

I had spoken to another doctor about this at the time though was brushed of having seen it in the news and many people had come asking. So nothing really happened.

I had night sweats, rapid heart and palpitations that was getting more frequent that my current GP put me on bisoprolol (on half the lowest dose now). Tests came back normal so I am putting it down to Peri. My periods started lasting a day or two more occasionally, and my days in between started to get the occasional 24 day to 35 days. GP put me on mini pill for the bleeding 2 years ago. This dealt with the sweats and racing heart.

As far as I am concerned, that is peri!

My body aches and low energy, lack of drive are getting worse and before I try ADHD medication I want to just try HRT.

I know the minipill I am on isnt enough Progest. for a est. patch. So as I see it I have two choices.

Combined HRT patch & lose contraception
Change to another minipill and start estro. patch and keep contraception.

I don't need the contraception so much, but I like having it 'in case' as I dont plan being single forever. I guess I could always go back on it when I need it.

I have a week of going back on Vit D to see if that improves things.

Is there anything else I should be aware of, options? No coils or implants for me.

Would love to come off bisoprolol and minipill if HRT works! Minipill makes my GERD worse and my blood pressure is borderline low (94/65 ish) and I am very sensative to it (biso) and coming of lowest doses put me in months of rebound.

Y'all. So here's the thing. 3am wake ups have been a thing for me for years. Years. It was one of my first symptoms back when I had never even heard of peri. And then a few months ago, for seemingly no reason and w no new variables, I just started... sleeping. Like, til our alarm went off. It. Was. Glorious. I couldn't figure out the why behind the change (because truly nothing had changed), but I was so grateful for it. Welp. This week I'm just back to 330am wake ups. I'm tracking it carefully to see if it's gonna match up w a certain part of my cycle like my headaches sometimes do, but really, I just wanted to bitch to people who understand. Because in the end, we are all just flying blind w this shit. I had a good run there for a while.

Since I’ve hit 40 (I’m now 42) I have severe debilitating fatigue during my period. I also get severely achy legs like I have the flu or worked out, I can barely walk. I do have adenomyosis and not sure if that’s a contributing factor but phew! I can barely function on my period.

Does anyone going through peri have vision issues and constantly feeling off balance?? It’s really bad when I first wake up. I keep thinking I have a brain tumor and then that makes my anxiety worse! The balance thing is really making me depressed.

I love my spouse and my two pups. But it’s 2:44 am, spouse and both pups are snoring away, and I can’t sleep. Trying my best to not either get up and go to the couch, my recliner in my office, or the spare bedroom… or wake them all and kick them out of our bedroom.

And I’m hot.

Who else is up? Feel free to rant.

I work at a place where people keep a professional distance from one another, so I can't tell them that I'm in perimenopause. I'm on HRT that works very well and largely keeps rage at bay, except for highly stressful incidents at work - once every few months. I'm in security, mostly chill, and we prevent damage to priceless artifacts. A very stressful incident happened, where two tourists were about to do damage and didn't even care. I'm a quiet person but was alarmed, and raised my voice to get their attention so much that it boomed across the room, then yelled, "that barrier is there for a reason." It didn't phase them one bit. I could have simply told them. I don't know where the rage spilled from.

Acouple of tourists sympathized. However, a colleague on the same shift saw this happen. She didn't like me before, for some reason. Now she likes me even less. It must be jarring to be presented with something so incongruous with how I always present myself - quiet, sweet, demure VS banshee. I don't like her ether, but I worry about what she thinks now. Any help appreciated

Currently been on Estrogen patch since the beginning of the year now 0.75 and 200 mg of progesterone every night.
Had request requested to start testosterone cream but now I’m on the fence. I heard it would help with my libido, which has been in the toilet, even though I am generally feeling better in every other way. and that it could possibly help with my energy levels. I am also type 1.5 diabetic without insulin so al it of my energy slumps are probably due to that.
I also read somewhere that can cause hair loss and that it can cause facial hair and hair unwanted places.

I’m hesitant to start it because right now I have found a pretty OK my mood swings are under control, general demeanor is better and feel significant improvement in self, balance and I don’t wanna do anything that throws that into jeopardy.

45 year old female still getting periods. not asking for medical advice jist for people’s experiences. dr checked my testosterone levels and they must have been low enough to prescribe said she would wanna check them again on a month.

could the testosterone cause rage because that is why I started hrt and have managed to get away from that now

I've been on HRT about 2 years, started at age 39 for TMJ, bleeding gums, itchy ears, middle foot arch pain, blurry vision, joint pain, nerve pain, headache, tachycardia, palpitations, visceral fat, hair thinning, irregular cycles, feeling of spiderweb on face, dizziness, increase in facial hair, 3 am wakeup, urinary frequency, brain fog, word finding difficulties and always being hot. (Yep, got worked up for thyroid issues etc, all negative)

But the biggest reason I started was I woke up one day having 40 panic attacks PER DAY. I don't have anxiety. We tried SSRIs, SnRIs, quetiapine and clonazepam with absolutely no impact. Within two weeks of starting estrogen, my symptoms were 20% better. Now I don't have panic attacks at all. So, like many of us, this is not some optional medication.

I feel super frustrated with my providers I've had. I'm limited to an online provider because I live 1.5 hours from the nearest gynecologist. I feel like they make me have expensive, invasive and risky tests so they can feel better about prescribing. So far I've had to have two mammograms, one of which resulted in an unnecessary biopsy. I've also had to have a transvaginal ultrasound for "irregular bleeding", which was 3 days of a heavy period right after getting a new Nexplanon (slightly more complicated than that but I'm not convinced an ultrasound was indicated). I have no risk factors for uterine hyperplasia, have had irregular bleeding with Nexplanon since I started it like a decade ago and I've been on opposing oral progesterone and Nexplanon the entire time I've been on HRT. The ultrasound came back clean other than a submucosal fibroid (which would also explain irregular bleeding). I got BV from the ultrasound and they STILL want an endometrial biopsy "just in case" - which, BTW, has a 15 to 30% chance of missing hyperplasia anyways! I'm now thousands of dollars out of pocket - probably 5k and I feel like I'm being held hostage to get invasive procedures I don't want to keep my HRT. I had to drive 4 hours for the ultrasound I didn't want.

I just need to tell someone who understands. I'm trying to switch platforms (in the US) but they are all so expensive, or not transparent about their pricing and I'm scared of losing access to a lifesaving medication for me. :(

I just need to complain for a minute.

I’ve been on 200mg of progesterone, a .025 mg estrogen patch and 1mg daily testosterone cream for a bit. When I was originally put on the estrogen patch, they gave me the Dotti patch and it was amazing. I felt so good for the three months I had it. Then, when I got my refill, the pharmacy gave me a generic estrogen patch and it’s doing nothing for me. All the symptoms I had before going on HRT are back: achy joints, heart palpitations, food noise, and the mood swings have been intense since starting the generic patch.

I have an appt with my NP Gyno next week to see if I can go back on Dotti ASAP if it’s available. But the last few weeks have been awful and I needed to vent about it. Has anyone else had this experience?

I just turned 40 and have been experiencing perimenopause symptoms for the last 6 months or so. I can deal with the hot flashes, night sweats, and heart palps, but this brain fog and derealization is messing me up. Ive been on SSRIs for the last 8 years with no issues but now I am more anxious than ever. I'm super forgetful and I feel like I am in dream sequence sometimes. My dr said I am not a candidate for HRT because a clotting disorder. Is there anything that anyone has used to improve cognitive function and brain fog but isn't HRT?

I've resolved the itchy ear, itchy everywhere, insomnia, 4am wake ups, strange smells, brain fog, fatigue, anxiety, lack of motivation, murderous rage and just about everything else I've seen mentioned here, all without HRT.

Hell, my body traded hot flashes for cold flashes, which is actually in my favor given I live in Miami and I can use less AC as a result and jeep my electric bill low.

But this! My period is now showing up every 2 weeks! I thought perimenopause was leading towards less periods, not more!

The last time I had this was ages 12 to 15, when I was then put on birth control to regulate it. I got off bitth control at 18 and my period stayed precisely every 21 to 25 days since.

Now, at 48, my body apparently wants to take a trip down memory lane. 🤦🏿‍♀️ Between this and having excessive pimples for the first time in my life, I'm totally and completely confused as to what my body is up to.

I don't want HRT, so take this as a vent session. But anyone else doubling up on their period? I'm on the 3rd consecutive month of this.

I guess I can't complain, so far I've had very little physical peri symptoms. But I hadn't had menstrual cramps since my 20s, and suddenly, a month before I turn 50, I'm lying in bed crippled with the pain. Is this for real??!

I’ve been reading through the top posts here, and honestly, they’re incredibly depressing. A lot of them talk about missing their younger selves, feeling unattractive, losing their passion for life, and struggling with depression since hitting their 40s.

I originally joined this sub to learn more about perimenopause and hopefully pick up some practical advice and positive perspectives. Instead, I’ve come away feeling a bit terrified.

The overall tone feels so negative and defeated that it’s making me anxious about what’s ahead.
So I’d love to hear a different side of the story.
What are the positive things about being in your 40s and 50s? What has improved in your life with age? And for those who are thriving, what habits, mindsets, or lifestyle choices do you think helped you avoid ending up feeling like some of the people in the top posts?

I’d really appreciate some hopeful perspectives.

My gyno insisted on removing my Mirena IUD today because I've had it for 11 years. 11 blissful years of never having a single period, after years of monstrously heavy ones! It was a cinch to take out (unlike putting it in). She's hoping I'm done with bleeding completely, since the IUD was probably not doing much anymore, and I'm crossing my fingers that's the case! I'm 49, and started HRT last year for perimenopause (I was having symptoms a couple of years before starting HRT). I seriously never want to have a period again.

Anyone here dying from exhaustion? Like I am hiking 15 miles one weekend and not able to get off the couch this week. I am always tired and sleepy but get no sleep at night, I am so so exhausted of existing like this. I have a new job that starts soon and I am worried about being laid off because I won’t be able to perform. I have low Vitamin D and Ferratin and taking supplements but don’t know if it’s hormonal imbalance or anemia or vit D anymore. This is not ok. Why is exhaustion not considered a symptom for treatment? This is impacting my day to day

56 and STILL in peri - had a full battery of medical tests this year bc doc wanted to be sure there were no serious issues hiding as prolonged peri. Nope! Tests say I have the reproductive system of a 35yo 🫩.

Oh! I do have a medical condition that absolutely prohibits taking estrogen - in plant or other form. So while I appreciate the usual suggestions, anything that impacts my natural estrogen decline is completely off the table. No shade to others, just not an option for me.

So sad. Anyway...

For the past few years, I've had some insomnia. The most entertaining being waking up somewhere between 2-4am feeling positively energized and productive. That was manageable by just getting up and pecking away at some little project for 30-60 minutes.

Lately there's a shift. I'm having trouble GETTING to sleep. And it's not feeling energized, more of a wanting to just start screaming. Like, I'm tired but also deep down freaked out about nothing? (Everything?). It's exasperating and leaves me tired every morning.

My sleep hygiene is excellent. I just needed to vent.

Is this a possibility?

I started perimenopause before 40 so GP automatically prescribed HRT as per UK guidelines.

I started on Evorel Sequi patches but was having 2 periods a month plus a lot of spotting so she changed me to Evorel 50mcg estradiol patches + 2 weeks per month I take 200mg Utrogestan.

I’ve always had sleep issues and the Utrogestan helps a lot so I was hoping it might be possible to take this every night but not sure if she would agree since I’m still having regular periods.

Does anyone know if it’s worth making an appt to ask her this or if it’s against NHS guidelines so there’s no point in asking? My GP surgery seems to be quite ‘guideline strict’. Thanks!