I’m so over it. Every time I cough or sneeze, I have to pray that I don’t piss myself. I do the stupid visualization of raising my pelvic floor when I know it’s coming and it helps sometimes, but I hate having to do it. If I forget or the cough/sneeze surprises me, odds are I need to change. I don’t have enough underwear or shorts for this. We can’t do laundry at home right now, and I’m having to wash clothes at least twice a week because I’m having to change my clothes so often. I feel like I always smell like pee, even after I change. I just turned 38. I don’t want to wear a goddamn diaper. I’ve looked into period panties, but I worry I’ll just smell more like pee if it happens and I don’t change.

Sorry for the rant, I just needed to get it out.

Edit to add: I love this community and you all are amazing. There has been zero judgement and I can’t express how much I appreciate all of your responses. I’m a little tipsy and a little emotional, and you all are amazing.

I went to see my male Endo today (I have type 1 diabetes and hashimoto’s). I’ve gained about 10 lbs in the past year, have persistent fatigue, night sweats, insomnia, vaginal dryness, low libido, and increasing A1C. I’m 43 years old, and I ruled out thyroid, iron and vitamin d issues with my labs. I gently suggested perimenopause could be the issue.

He said I was too young for menopause and wanted to test me for Cushing’s disease. As we wrapped up, I asked if I could chat with the dietitian on his staff. He summoned her and left.

We went over my symptoms and she was immediately like, yeah, sounds like peri. I told her about the Endo’s reaction and she kind of rolled her eyes. She said I should do the labs just to rule it out but if those came back okay she would talk to him.

So shoutout to my dietitian and all of the ladies in healthcare helping to educate providers about this stuff.

I work at a place where people keep a professional distance from one another, so I can't tell them that I'm in perimenopause. I'm on HRT that works very well and largely keeps rage at bay, except for highly stressful incidents at work - once every few months. I'm in security, mostly chill, and we prevent damage to priceless artifacts. A very stressful incident happened, where two tourists were about to do damage and didn't even care. I'm a quiet person but was alarmed, and raised my voice to get their attention so much that it boomed across the room, then yelled, "that barrier is there for a reason." It didn't phase them one bit. I could have simply told them. I don't know where the rage spilled from.

Acouple of tourists sympathized. However, a colleague on the same shift saw this happen. She didn't like me before, for some reason. Now she likes me even less. It must be jarring to be presented with something so incongruous with how I always present myself - quiet, sweet, demure VS banshee. I don't like her ether, but I worry about what she thinks now. Any help appreciated

I’ve been on estrogen for a while and it’s made a huge difference in most area. I’m happy with where things are overall in terms of libido and wanting sex. I’m also using vaginal estrogen cream 3x/week for about 6 weeks which has helped with other things, but I’m not seeing much change in clitoral sensitivity specifically. I am putting the creams on clit and labia. I also had a hysterectomy almost 2 years ago and I learned just now that cervix removal can effect function in some women.

Right now I can only reach orgasm using a strong vibrator. This didn’t used to be the case. nothing lighter or more subtle registers much at all. I was hoping the vaginal estrogen would help build sensitivity over time, but it’s been slower going than I expected.

Has anyone dealt with something similar? A few things I’m wondering about:

Did increasing sensitivity just take longer for you, or did you need to adjust your estrogen routine/dose/delivery method?

Did switching cream frequency or trying a different formulation (cream vs. suppository vs. ring) make a difference? My provider didn’t have me do a loading dose

Has anyone tried adding DHEA (vaginal/topical) alongside estrogen? Did it help with sensitivity specifically?

Any non-hormonal approaches that helped in the meantime (specific stimulation techniques, products)?

I started HRT about 2 months ago. 100 mg progesterone pill and .00375 patch. Lots of symptoms have improved but I am still so incredibly exhausted. Does anyone have any experience with this? I’m going to follow up with my doctor in one month.

Does anyone going through peri have vision issues and constantly feeling off balance?? It’s really bad when I first wake up. I keep thinking I have a brain tumor and then that makes my anxiety worse! The balance thing is really making me depressed.

I’m internally rage screaming. I’m 45 years old and for most of my adult life, my period has figured out how to come along with me on my vacations. She will find a way. Whether it’s starting 2 weeks early or 2 weeks late. Doesn’t matter. Earlier this month we took a 4 day trip that involved lots of river time. Period shows up the very first day. Tomorrow we fly to Washington and guess who got here today? One week early. Give me hot flashes because I am very much over this.

Currently been on Estrogen patch since the beginning of the year now 0.75 and 200 mg of progesterone every night.
Had request requested to start testosterone cream but now I’m on the fence. I heard it would help with my libido, which has been in the toilet, even though I am generally feeling better in every other way. and that it could possibly help with my energy levels. I am also type 1.5 diabetic without insulin so al it of my energy slumps are probably due to that.
I also read somewhere that can cause hair loss and that it can cause facial hair and hair unwanted places.

I’m hesitant to start it because right now I have found a pretty OK my mood swings are under control, general demeanor is better and feel significant improvement in self, balance and I don’t wanna do anything that throws that into jeopardy.

45 year old female still getting periods. not asking for medical advice jist for people’s experiences. dr checked my testosterone levels and they must have been low enough to prescribe said she would wanna check them again on a month.

could the testosterone cause rage because that is why I started hrt and have managed to get away from that now

I guess I can't complain, so far I've had very little physical peri symptoms. But I hadn't had menstrual cramps since my 20s, and suddenly, a month before I turn 50, I'm lying in bed crippled with the pain. Is this for real??!

I just turned 40 and have been experiencing perimenopause symptoms for the last 6 months or so. I can deal with the hot flashes, night sweats, and heart palps, but this brain fog and derealization is messing me up. Ive been on SSRIs for the last 8 years with no issues but now I am more anxious than ever. I'm super forgetful and I feel like I am in dream sequence sometimes. My dr said I am not a candidate for HRT because a clotting disorder. Is there anything that anyone has used to improve cognitive function and brain fog but isn't HRT?

Trying to figure out the right approach with a body that just won't cooperate. I just got my IUD pulled (Mirena). I got it to help with excessive periods. Like murder scene periods. I was biopsied and there was no indication of fibroids or any other issue. Just cursed I guess. Tried a couple forms of BC pills first and would still get breakthrough bleeding that was almost just as bad as the murder scene periods.

The IUD definitely helped with the bleeding but unfortunately my body really hated the IUD. A month in I got a crazy UTI and then the antibiotics gave me a yeast infection and the whole thing took like six weeks to resolve. After that I had lingering UTI-like symptoms that would flare cyclically and irritation in the whole vaginal-vulva region. Sadly I'm allergic or sensitive to some ingredient in estrogen cream so that's also not the solve-all it could be (it burned instead of soothed). I kept the IUD for a year along with 200mg nightly progesterone and an estrogen patch and my mood and sleep was great but the irritation and UTI-like symptoms drove me bonkers. I think I also had a lot of anxiety about having a foreign body in there.

The plan is to try to see if 200mg progesterone is enough along with a new local estrogen delivery (tablet to insert) without the estrogen patch to make the bleeding more manageable. The next option is medroxyprogesterone.

I'm scared. Anyone have similar intolerances and find a solution?

56 and STILL in peri - had a full battery of medical tests this year bc doc wanted to be sure there were no serious issues hiding as prolonged peri. Nope! Tests say I have the reproductive system of a 35yo 🫩.

Oh! I do have a medical condition that absolutely prohibits taking estrogen - in plant or other form. So while I appreciate the usual suggestions, anything that impacts my natural estrogen decline is completely off the table. No shade to others, just not an option for me.

So sad. Anyway...

For the past few years, I've had some insomnia. The most entertaining being waking up somewhere between 2-4am feeling positively energized and productive. That was manageable by just getting up and pecking away at some little project for 30-60 minutes.

Lately there's a shift. I'm having trouble GETTING to sleep. And it's not feeling energized, more of a wanting to just start screaming. Like, I'm tired but also deep down freaked out about nothing? (Everything?). It's exasperating and leaves me tired every morning.

My sleep hygiene is excellent. I just needed to vent.

Today I started HRT. I’m 44 and have been experiencing various symptoms for at least the last two years. The past 12months have been the worst, with a really predictable cycle of negative head space, low libido, wanting to blow up my life and run away to the forest with my cat, high levels of anxiety and feeling low, zero resilience, joint pain, 3am wake-ups, horrifically heavy periods that last two days and give me flu like symptoms and nausea, feeling dreadful until I ovulate, having ONE day of feeling awesome and love everything and everyone - before it all begins again.

I’d heard stories from friends about being brushed off by doctors, so I forked out $370 to have an online consult with a menopause doctor. And what an incredible feeling it was to be listened to, understood, believed, and offered options. 45mins of being able to discuss all my symptoms before coming away with a prescription for estrogel, cream, progesterone pills and follow up blood tests. She’s suggested I also supplement with magnesium glycinate, Vitamin D and creatine. Plan is to give it a go before looking to include testosterone, and even offered a GLP1 if I felt I needed that.

I wanted to cry. I know I’m incredibly fortunate to be able to take this path. I’ve been gaslighting myself for so long that what I was feeling wasn’t really real, or bad enough, or warranted a doctor’s appointment. I know it’s early days, but feeling hopeful that some relief may be on the horizon.

Edit to add: I’ve been reading this sub for a long time, and felt so validated by other women’s experiences that it gave me the courage to ask for help x

Since I’ve hit 40 (I’m now 42) I have severe debilitating fatigue during my period. I also get severely achy legs like I have the flu or worked out, I can barely walk. I do have adenomyosis and not sure if that’s a contributing factor but phew! I can barely function on my period.

I just need to complain for a minute.

I’ve been on 200mg of progesterone, a .025 mg estrogen patch and 1mg daily testosterone cream for a bit. When I was originally put on the estrogen patch, they gave me the Dotti patch and it was amazing. I felt so good for the three months I had it. Then, when I got my refill, the pharmacy gave me a generic estrogen patch and it’s doing nothing for me. All the symptoms I had before going on HRT are back: achy joints, heart palpitations, food noise, and the mood swings have been intense since starting the generic patch.

I have an appt with my NP Gyno next week to see if I can go back on Dotti ASAP if it’s available. But the last few weeks have been awful and I needed to vent about it. Has anyone else had this experience?

Sorry this is long. I’m just looking for some advice or words of comfort and solidarity.

In the past few months I have noticed something new.

I will be fine and then start to feel…off. Like maybe I feel a slight headache coming on or I’m tired or hungry or something.

And then my face will get hot and start to flush. Next I feel shaky and almost like my body is buzzing. Then my heart starts to race, my butt and thighs start to sweat, and I’ll need to have a bowel movement (sorry if TMI). It is very much like physical anxiety but it also is scary and sends me into almost a panic attack. Like the physical symptoms start first and then I get into a mental spiral. Sometimes I even feel a bit nauseas.

This has happened 3 times since the beginning of June. The first 2 times I attributed to stress as I had a huge work training I had to run the next day on the night the first one happened, and the second one happened on the 4th of July in the afternoon. I was out in the heat all day and tired so I figured that triggered it. But the one that happened last night was really out of nowhere. All 3 times it has happened I was either on my period or having ovulation bleeding so maybe that has something to do with it.

What helps to calm it is either taking an Ativan (which I hate to do because I’m scared of addiction), or if it’s nighttime I can take my progesterone and magnesium glycinate and that will calm it down. Box breathing helps a bit too.

I am on HRT (.05 e patch and 100mg of nightly progesterone) and have been since the beginning of November. My other symptoms are well managed now so I have no complaints other than this and occasionally bleeding twice a month.

Any ideas on what is happening? Is this how a hot flash feels or is it an adrenaline surge? It does feel like my flight or flight is being triggered. I also notice when it happens that the sweat on my thighs will smell like onions or something.

Could the HRT be causing it? Or could it be my levels dipping too low?

Just looking for some shared experiences to help this feel less scary. I’m a single mom so I’m terrified that this will keep happening and affect my ability to care for my two kids.

Thank you for taking the time to read if you got this far 💜

Is this a possibility?

I started perimenopause before 40 so GP automatically prescribed HRT as per UK guidelines.

I started on Evorel Sequi patches but was having 2 periods a month plus a lot of spotting so she changed me to Evorel 50mcg estradiol patches + 2 weeks per month I take 200mg Utrogestan.

I’ve always had sleep issues and the Utrogestan helps a lot so I was hoping it might be possible to take this every night but not sure if she would agree since I’m still having regular periods.

Does anyone know if it’s worth making an appt to ask her this or if it’s against NHS guidelines so there’s no point in asking? My GP surgery seems to be quite ‘guideline strict’. Thanks!

Hello all. I'm 41 years old afab non-binary and I've been suffering for the last year or so from what I believe is early perimenopause. My PCP suggested seeing a gyn for testing and treatment. I had my appointment today and left feeling incredibly defeated.

I've been experiencing pretty much all of the classic symptoms of perimenopause (mood changes, hot flashes, night sweats, hot 24/7, irregular periods, insomnia, low libido, vaginal dryness, urinary urgency) for the last year. I explained this to the NP. She was completely dismissive and told he that feeling hot all the time isn't a symptom of perimenopause. The only blood work she ordered was to check my thyroid levels and refused to check hormone levels. Her only suggestions were to "make lifestyle changes" and try taking magnesium.

I'm at a loss of what to do. Should I try to get a second opinion elsewhere? I don't even know what lifestyle changes she wants me to make because she didn't send me home with any notes. Should I try the magnesium? I'm so lost and just want to feel "normal" again.

I’ve got a lot going on. To start, I’m in the UK (but from the US) and am 43 with Hashimoto’s, ADHD, Mcas, hEDS and POTS.

It all began with urinary frequency in 2020 (but I also tested positive for ureaplasma, was likely reinfected by husband, and in the UK they don’t treat it because it’s considered “commensal.). Then the vaginal dryness began. Then pain with sex. Then low, low mood. A drastic worsening of ADHD and MCAS symptoms, increased inflammation and pain, and then increased itchiness and dryness everywhere else. I also got a bonus frozen shoulder (one after the other) for fun, so I’ve been in incredible insane levels of pain for two years that’s only just starting to abate.

I’m on a host of meds for all of this stuff-the MCAS meds, levothyroxine, etc etc. Estriol cream is working but not well enough-I use it with vagifem and even that’s better, but not perfect. Oral minoxidil has arrested the hair shedding. Can’t take ADHD meds currently because of pain issues. The vagifem/estriol cream has mitigated the itchiness, has mitigated the dry vag, but the pain with sex is unreal. My libido is in the toilet and I miss it!

The newest things, and the thing that’s prompted the femosten rx, is that my mouth hurts. Or my teeth. My gums feel like they’ve been aggressively flossed by a sadist all day every day. It could be TMJ, it could be stress, it could be any one of my co-occurring health issues (or even related to the frozen shoulder). I don’t know-but I got an rx through a private GP for femoston…but am afraid to pull the trigger.

I’m concerned about blood clots mostly-all of my issues make it tough to be as active as I’d like, and I live with a hopeless nicotine vaping addict (he has tried to quit, tries to vape outdoors, but it’s not enough). Strokes and breast cancer runs in my family. My mother never went on HRT and is vehemently against me trying it. Especially with all I’ve got going on.

But I’m so tired of being so sick and tired. My GP said I can give it a three month trial and see how I feel with minimal risk-and if it helps then we know declinjnf estrogen is the primary issue. That seems reasonable to me-but I’m still scared.

Real talk-what are your experiences like? Anyone have the same combo of BS going on? Did femoston (or US equivalent)?

Thanks so much ladies.

I am 5 weeks into HRT treatment for PMDD. I'm using an estrogen patch the lowest dose (changing it every fourth day) and taking body-identical progesterone 100mg vaginally without any breaks.

For some context, I tried this treatment before but stopped after 6 weeks because of the intense mental side effects. I didn't experience physical side effects like this last time. Back then, I was taking the progesterone orally and would stop it for 3–4 days when I had my period.

My doctor told me I needed to try it again because my PMDD isn't going to go away on its own, and I can no longer take the contraceptive pill. I took the pill from age 15 to 22 and had bad experiences, despite trying three different types. She suggested taking the progesterone vaginally to bypass the liver, as it might reduce the side effects. Thankfully, this time I haven't experienced the same mental side effects such as anxiety, mood swings, anger, or feeling low.

The first few weeks were great, but now I feel like I've completely crashed. I'm dealing with my usual PMDD symptoms, which are hitting hard, on top of what I think are HRT side effects, and it's all so intense. I'm extremely bloated and feel huge, my breasts are sore and swollen, my appetite is all over the place, I keep crying for no reason, I don't want to be social, and my muscles and joints are constantly sore. I am sleepin really good with though, only had a few nights with intense dreams.

Honestly, I feel so old and useless at the moment. I just want to feel like myself again, have energy, and enjoy life. I don't want to keep living with PMDD anymore either, as it has taken over my life over the last few years and has become so much worse.

I know I need to stick with this medication and give it a chance, but right now my body doesn't feel like my own anymore.

Has anyone else used HRT to treat PMDD? Did you experience similar side effects? If so, how did you cope, and did things eventually improve?

My time has come. I wish I'd done this years ago, but I'm FINALLY about to begin basic progesterone and estrogen starter HRT!

42 years old, PCOS, still menstruating. Looking back, I honestly think my perimenopause symptoms started around the time I was 30. By now it's a full on 5 alarm fire. I had some imaging done and my current provider wanted to see if a mass on my ovary was stable before proceeding with treatment, that's all that's held me back this long. But I get my second round of imaging this week and if all goes well, it's time to Rx!

Anyway, I know a lot of people use patches. While I'd love to hear your feedback, for various reasons I don't consider myself to be a good candidate for the patch. And after talking with area pharmacists, I have been told I will have better luck accessing a topical product such as divigel. So this is what I plan to ask for.

It's looking like my starter pack will be something like 0.025 divigel and 100 mg Prometrium daily.

I really would like vaginal estrogen cream for urine frequency and pain as well, but is that something I can add right away or should I wait until my body becomes used to the above regimen before adding more things?

Based on what I have read I think my period will probably be a little wonky at first with breakthrough bleeding before it levels out. Does that sound right?

My midwife that I'm currently with is not super perimenopause literate, but I think she'll work with me in accommodating my requests. (I may change providers in the future but I'm going to see how things go with her first.)

I have read the wiki, have been reading posts here for a while and am learning so much just from reading people's experiences. Please tell me anything you wish you had known when starting your HRT journey. Things you observed or regret or have learned. I appreciate it so much!!

Oh one last thing... is there some life hack where I can go through a mail order pharmacy that will ship everything to my door perfectly on time, that's always in stock, and uses insurance? Sounds a lot easier than having to run to CVS to pick up in person which is my current plan.

Hello everyone, got diagnosed with disordered proliferative endometrium and told it was a normal part of the menstrual cycle. I was confused because of the word "disordered" and was too afraid to ask for clarification. Not asking for medical advice- only asking if anyone else has this and was told the same by their doctor.

I know, pellets are frowned upon, and I get it. But here I am, so please don't lecture me on that. I've been on pellets for a few years and at first, I LOVED them. I sang all their praises. But, at this point I'm really feeling the rollercoaster of them, especially the testosterone. Feel good, then hating the high level side effects, feeling good on the way down and then the plumet. I hate it, and it can't be good for my body. I have a message into my doc about other options, they are good and I think they'll give me some of their thoughts and will be open to whatever I decide. I am interested in injections, but that's the one thing I'm not sure how they'll feel about. I would prefer to stay away from an every day thing, like gel or cream but maybe I'm closed minded about that? I can do estrogen patches just fine. Anyway - curious of other's who have switch from pellets to an alternative method, which one you went to and how it's working?

Incoming rant with a question.

I have a pelvic pain condition called Pudendal Neuralgia. It causes pain in my vulva, vag and sit bones. I've lived with this since 2012, so adding any issues on top of that sends my pain into a tailspin. Estrace has entered the chat....

I started estrace cream this past week and now I have a yeast infection and weird pimple like bumps on my vulva (as if the cream is clogging pores). I'm in pain and feel pretty defeated. I was really hoping the estrace could help with the dryness I've been experiencing and my Dr. said to stop using it.

I'm so frustrated with all of this!!

I'm curious if the estrogen patch has helped anyone with dryness or if that's only helped by the cream?