We’ve been together since 2017. Married in 2020. Last year after playing tennis one night, I was taunting him about all of the games I beat him in. As I was taunting him, he starting sounding out the word “Nnnnnnnnn….” and before I finished my sentence he said it. “N***ER”. He called me the n word with a hard r. I’m Afro Latina (Zoe Saldana-ish) and he is Asian.

He’s never been racist. In fact, it wasn’t until last year that I noticed he started showing signs of racism. I don’t know why I’m having a delayed response to this… maybe it’s because I’ve been putting patterns together.

In a group chat, some of our friends shared pictures of a neighborhood with Halloween decor and they said it was a beautiful and safe neighborhood. He replied “that’s because there are no (ninja emoji)”. Nobody responded to that and I had a stern talk with him about it.

Years ago (while married) when i talked about what are future kids might look like, I said what If they are pale like you and he said “let’s hope”.

These are things you just don’t forget.

2 weeks ago while watching FIFA I said “wow France definitely looks like France”. And he said “what do you mean babe there’s a black guy in the other team too haha”. And I told him “not everything is about race, I was talking about the uniforms”.

He noticed I was very bothered by that and kind of put his shoulders down in shame once the game was over 2 hours later.

I just have a major ick. I feel like he is regressing. He has exhibited other red flags such as major corn addiction. And hint hint. Everyone is Asian or blonde.

My wife and I have been married for 22 years, and have known each other since the start of high school. We had a pretty active and normal sex life- few times a week, foreplay/different positions/different locations, etc…. As of the last four years, we are lucky to go at it once a week, sometimes every other week. Lately, I have noticed that we have sex the night before, she is masterbating the following morning when I head off to work.

I can’t tell if my ego is getting the worst of me, or she doesn’t want to admit she isn’t enjoying sex, or at least fully satisfied. I remember her really criticizing a friends relationship when she found out the friends boyfriend would go rub one out after their sexy time, and my wife thought it was completely disgusting and disrespectful. However, I kind of feel this is a similar scenario.

I have asked her point blank recently if she is satisfied sexually with our relationship and she is for the most part but has mentioned that she wants me to take control more. We recently had a night that was some of the best sex we ( at least I thought we) had in a while. I was telling her what to do, and it all seemed like she was into it. However the next morning, she seemed to get her self off on her own after I headed out the door.

Am I tripping over nothing, or is there something I should be concerned with and/or do to address this. All this time it feels like she is just going thru the motions, which makes me uninterested in initiating and I seemingly can’t enjoy sex like I use to.

Thoughts?

Actually I'm not really sure how all this happened.

Two years ago we were on the brink of divorce, with all the resentment, constant fights, weeks long not talking to each other, lack of any positive sides in the marriage and actually planning moving out.

Now, it's the complete opposite, it's just like it was when we first met, along with all the chemistry. I can't stop thinking about her, I'd do anything for her now and don't even see other women as attractive at all. And it's like that since last summer, so it's 12 months now. And of course it's not just me, her feelings also changed, she started loosing weight and looks fantastic now. We're nice and kind to each other, there's passion and desire. There's love.

And the thing is I don't really know how all of this happened, how is this possible? Last spring, when it was really bad and I was thinking about the divorce, I decided that I don't really want anything bad for her and the reason was she was the mother of my kids and hurting her (for example fighting too hard for finances during the divorce) would hurt the person my kids love the most, and I didn't want to hurt my children in any way. But then I realized that this was not completely true and I was just justifying in my head. I realized I didn't want anything bad for her not only because of the kids but because I just still cared for her herself. From that moment I tried to be a bit more nice to her and fix things between us. She also changed. And then everything started to improve between us and *fast*. I wasn't expecting what happened at all. How is this possible that all the previous attempts, over many years, to fix the marriage, were almost pointless, giving not lasting results and actually the fighting becoming worse and worse over the years, and this time it just clicked? I'm worried that when I don't understand how this happened we could loose what we have now.

First, thank you to everyone who commented on my original post. I read far more responses than I could reply to, and while some were hard to read, I appreciate everyone who took the time to share their thoughts.

My husband came home so we could finally sit down and talk face to face. He was extremely apologetic from the moment we started talking. He kept saying how sorry he was and that he doesn't want to lose me.

His explanation hasn't really changed. He said he was far too drunk and genuinely believed he was dancing with me. He admitted he rarely drinks hard liquor, said he overdid it that night, and kept repeating that I know him and that this isn't who he is. I told him that was hard for me to believe considering he kissed my cousin and touched her on the dance floor in front of everyone.

He answered every question I asked. He handed me his phone without hesitation and let me look through everything. I didn't find any messages between him and my cousin or anything that suggested there had been an ongoing affair. Since leaving after everything happened, he has also been sharing his location with me, and as far as I can tell he's only been at work or at his parents' house. As far as I know, he has never communicated with my cousin outside of the times we've all been together as a family.

We talked for about an hour. He accepted responsibility, apologized over and over, and said he knows he broke my trust. He said he'll do whatever it takes to rebuild it if I give him the chance.

The problem is that I'm still torn.

Part of me wants to believe him. Part of me wants to believe this was a horrible drunken mistake, forgive him, and try to move forward with our marriage.

The other part of me keeps replaying what I saw at the wedding. I can't get the image out of my head. I worry that if I forgive him too easily, I'll end up looking like a fool if there was more to it than he's admitting.

I still feel incredibly lost. I love my husband, but my trust has been shaken in a way I never imagined. I don't know if I'm being too hopeful or too skeptical.

For those of you who have been through something similar, how did you decide whether it was a one-time mistake that could be worked through, or a sign that the relationship couldn't recover?

Me 33M and my wife 33F have been married for close to 5 years. 2 kids 4 and 2 and we’re a happy family. I work she stays at home with the kids it works.

When it comes to sex we have a decent sex life it’s about the same everytime which I’m okay with but she never goes down on me anymore. I give her oral almost everytime because I love it.

Curious if anyone has dealt with this or knows why?

When I try to bring it up she gets uncomfortable and dodges the question.

I haven't met many happy married couple or couple that love each other after a long married life. Happy couples are so rare and its seems like no marriage goes well.

But I'm also thinking maybe its because we don't hear many happy couples stories because they don't have a chance to share their story or feels like boosting if they share happiness of marriage.

If there are any happy married coupple who had been married for a long time and still happy and love each other, please share it and tell us why you love your partner and what do you think is the secret of the happy marriage.

I (33F) recently made a friend group of other moms with kids my sons age (just turned 3). We had been doing Tuesday night dinners at one of their houses every week and its been great. It gets me and my son out of the house, he gets to socialize with other kids his age.

Well the friend that had been hosting is going through some stuff and hasn't been able to host anymore. This ended up with me and one of the other moms really hitting it off and talking a ton. We later found out she adopted my cousins daughter also which is an insane story. Anyway so they have come over a day out of the week for the last few weeks kind of randomly. My husband (40) is super quiet and kind of to himself and he likes to game after work. I was going to have them come over today because its going to be raining the rest of the week and he got all annoyed about it because apparently one of her kids kept asking him a lot of questions and he didn't like it (like about whatever game he was playing).

Now husband has stormed outside to let the dogs out talking about how hes the bad guy now because yeah it kind of upset me how irritated he sounded when I asked him if it was OK they come over and the kids can play outside for a while. Ive now let my friend know today isn't a good day but it just doesnt feel good at all. I dont know what im looking for here, im just sad and frustrated that it feels like I cant comfortably have a friend over without it upsetting him. Sorry if this was a bit of a ramble and thanks for reading if you did 😅

What would be the reason that you have change it? Or you still keep yours?

So I have a pot roast recipe passed down from my best friend's Nana. It was the best pot roast I ever had and her grandmother loved me so much she'd call me her black grandchild (she was Scottish). So she gave me the recipe. I have cooked pot roast like that ever since. Problem is, my husband thinks it's the best pot roast ever too. There's never leftovers and he eats 80 percent of it. And somehow he's the skinny one to add insult to injury. This man. Smh.

I’m super picky about cleanliness, especially when it comes to my feet. I absolutely hate the feeling of dirt or crumbs on them…it’s one of those things that instantly makes me uncomfortable and dirty.
Yesterday I mentioned my feet felt dirty after being out in sandals. I didn’t hint or ask (never have, never will). I just said it in passing. Before I could even move, my husband got up, grabbed a washcloth, and wiped the bottom of my feet.
It was an incredibly intimate moment for me. It’s the quiet, instinctive moments where someone shows you they know you, they accept you, and they want to make your world a little better.

I cried after lol. I have never had a man who is so willing to take care of me in the way he does. I feel so loved. obviously there’s so much more than what happened yesterday. I can write about him for hours. He is an incredible man and husband.

Out of curiosity, what do you ladies do to make him feel loved, wanted, needed, or appreciated?

Do you plan dates? Do you flirt? Do you "seduce" him? Do you do anything?

Married five years, together fifteen, three kids, lots of other stuff. We have two cars and BOTH are having issues. We’re working together in a restaurant we bought a year and a half ago, he’s been alone in it most of the time until June when I left my job to help(and to go to grad school)… there’s been a series of other things that have been exceedingly difficult but we are working through stuff better than we ever have, I’ve wanted to make a post about it so many times because it’s been so amazing working with him. And I know it doesn’t work for everyone but it’s amazing for us. And then tonight on my way home, our car started overheating on the side of the highway. He came and rescued me with coolant on his motorcycle. He was incredible chill and loving even through all of it, even though it really sucked. I am just very grateful for him and he might be tired of hearing about it. Don’t fret, I do find other ways to express my gratitude and reciprocate

Married 25 years and can’t remember the last time a kiss was more than a peck on the lips. I kinda miss the days when we used to snog for hours….

This may be normal. It is the first time it's happened to me in our 12 years of being together.
My husband (M 36) and me ( F 33) have been together for 12 years, married for 6 and have 3 small kids. Honestly our sex life is the best it's been in a long time, especially with having little kids.

We work together and we're about to hop on a zoom meeting, it's 9 AM, he is in our office upstairs and I'm downstairs with our kids. I put our AirPods in and I'm hearing sex happening on the other side, I've walked upstairs to look at him and see him sitting there watching porn.

I'm not sure if this is usual behavior, because it's the first time it's happened to me. But I guess I am just wondering if this is normal for men to do?

He told me about a year and a half ago that he stopped watching porn, and it really improved our sex life.

But something about catching them doing it in the middle of the morning was extremely offputting to me.

Advice welcome, thanks.

I have been asking him to help more with yard work. I mentioned to him around 12 that the yard needed done. So he got up and went out to do it shirtless. No sunscreen or anything. He comes back in an hour later pissed off and burnt really bad. I tried to hand him a water and he didn’t want it. I tried to over him a cold shower uninterrupted and he said no. I said why didn’t you wear a shirt? The sun is blistering out there. I also said hey I think we have sunscreen Why didn’t you get some? And he blamed it on me said he didn’t know we had it. I said just ask. He started blaming me and saying it’s my fault for telling him to do it at the hottest part of the day. I explained that I said it needed done I didn’t necessarily mean it had to be in the middle of noon at the hottest point of the day and I sure as hell didn’t mean he had to do it shirtless and without sunscreen. So then I got mad that he blamed me. And then he goes well I’m sure you enjoy your nice air conditioned job I’m sure it’s really hard but I work all night in a hot factory .. him insulting my work and making it seem like it’s not as hard as his really upsets me because he’s never been that kind of guy to compare. he does this a lot when I set boundaries and ask him to pull his weight

I (28F) and my husband (32M) have been married for 2.5 years. We have always communicated very well and resolve any issues together. The last issue he wanted to talk about was last night and it was that I don't do anything. When I asked him what he meant, he said that I just sit at home on the couch all day. I told him I do sit on the couch for a period watching either a movie or a couple episodes of a show, but I also can't sit still that long and feel the urge to go do something. This usually includes laundry, dishes, vacuuming, mopping, organizing, and anything else I see that I can do. He then said he didn't mean that I do nothing just that I could do more. I then asked what more he would like me to do. He started talking about how that day when he came home I hadn't put the clothes I washed, dried, and folded into his dresser and instead left them on the bed for him to put away. I responded with ok no problem I will put your clothes in the dresser but surely that can't be the reason he thought I wasn't doing enough. He then said that throughout the day when we talk (primarily via Snapchat) he always sees me just sitting on the couch. I explained that I leave my phone on the coffee table and go about whatever I'm doing and every now and then come back to check it and snapchat him back. So yes I am sitting on the couch but by no means have I been there all day.

For some context we recently moved about a month and a half ago. We had this same discussion the last time we moved a couple years ago, that " I don't do anything". When we moved a couple of years ago we went from Colorado to North Carolina for a job for him. I quit my job in Colorado and after settling into the house began job hunting in North Carolina. At first he didn't want me to work and to just take care of things around the house. A few months later he brought up that he thought I didn't do anything so I got a job and stayed there for a year and a half until he got another job here in Virginia. So again I quit my job and over the last month and a half we were slowly moving into our new house. We are finally done moving and only making trips back to the NC house to do some touch ups to sell. (Bought the house in NC and are renting in VA). Last week I got a part time job but wasn't able to start until this Friday, so I'm hoping that will be enough to make him stop thinking I don't do anything.

At this point I don't know how to fix his discomfort or irritation with me not doing enough because when asked he just brought up the having to put his clothes away portion which obviously was an easy fix. I feel like there is something else bothering him and he just doesn't know how or doesn't want to tell me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I’m 28F got married last year in November to my boyfriend after being together for years. He has been great in all aspects. We do have each other phone passwords and stuff but never touch each others phones. Since last two months I saw my husband has been texting this female coworker throughout the time. He has been glued to his phone and changes windows if anyone is around. This got me very sus. And one day my intrusive thoughts took over and I went through the chat. He has never mentioned to her that he is married or anything. He has send her pictures of food and etc made by me claiming that he made it for himself. I didn’t find any flirty texts per se but no mention or me or him being married whatever. He has told her that he lives alone. I have a alot of baggage from my past about being cheated on. Idk am I overthinking? I haven’t confronted him on this or spoken of this yet. What do I do?

My husband 34M I’m 37F been together 3 years and he’s been having an EA. Pretty sure it’s the same one he’s been having since we got together and he said it was over when I confronted him earlier this year. Also pretty sure he’s talking to more than just her now. There’s private apps hidden texts and pics. I never go through his phone since that was a big deal from his last relationship and I understood. He always is on his phone but when I come around it’s never around, and locked. I know he’s lying. I am ashamed to admit I’ve secretly videoed his screen but it was too far for me to get names. He’s clever. He still plans our future and I’m 3 months pregnant. It’s been almost 2 years of this and now my eyes are opening and I’m putting the pieces together and I’m breaking inside. I’m so scared to lose what I thought was so real knowing everything has been a lie. I’m ashamed. I’ve put myself in debt to provide for our family and help him get his life together and make him happy. I physically, mentally, emotionally feel sick. I can’t stop replaying everything before and now all of this. Seeing the I miss you texts, the ❤️’s, the blurry pictures, how I look nothing like her even blurry, I feel like a roaring storm of a hurricane inside me all while still playing house trying to piece it all together and find the strength to confron

Quick background: my wife and I are older newlyweds; her second marriage, my first. I changed careers a few years before we met and work a boring but steady office job with good benefits, regular salary/hours and PTO. My wife has also shifted careers recently (food/drink sales to bartender/FOH) and for the time we've been together, has been unsteadily/underemployed or unemployed. As of a month or two ago, she works full time for a very cool restaurant and bar.

This job is definitely the best she's had as far as steady hours, pay and environment. It's even super close to our house, so she basically has no commute! However, she has been making comments like 'I know you hate my job...' fairly often and I try to reassure her I do not.

And I don't. I have, however, talked with her about some things that have concerned me as they've come up.

Mostly, I do not think our schedules is sustainable indefinitely. She leaves for work before I get home and when she gets home, I'm fast asleep. When I leave for work, she is asleep. Since she always works weekends and holidays, we basically have less than 24 hours together a week. This has lead to some communication issues, plus feeling like I have had to take on more than my fair share of the housework/life admin. She also has to request time off/find coverage and often gets denied, which makes planning for and attending social events difficult. Basically, I feel like I have to make an appointment to talk with her and then I don't want to overwhelm her with a bunch of logistics and life stuff that's piled up during the week.

I have also recently strongly convinced her to combine our finances more. Our gross pay is pretty much the same, but her take home pay is much higher than mine, since I carry insurance premiums and retirement savings through my job. This allows us to save more for things like health expenses (we both have quite a few), car upkeep, home improvements, an emergency fund and non-work retirement accounts, as well as fun stuff. It means she has less money to spend on herself, so she's not a fan...but also means I have the ability to pay all our bills, not drain savings and sometimes even have fun money for myself.

The most recent thing has been the fact that she has repeatedly injured herself while at work (three times this year alone). Not minor injuries either, but serious, painful sprains and dislocations that have meant she's had to miss work (and life) for extended periods of time. She does not get paid time off to cover this and she's not happy being laid up at home unable to move without pain.

Right now, she's attending a training on her day off (meaning we have to reschedule a wedding venue walkthrough and can't say til when until she checks with her boss) and may or not be returning to work tomorrow, as she has one arm in a sling. If she 'pushes through' this injury (complete dislocation of her shoulder), there's the possibility of (re)tearing a tendon, needing surgery again and being completely unable to do anything for months.

I do not want to control her or talk shit about a job she loves. I love that she loves her job. But how can I better live with the difficulties this job seems to be causing?

To keep it brief, I've been struggling with my wife and our marriage since around the third month of her postpartum journey. It was at this time that I went back to work (March through mid-May) and could sense a switch almost immediately. I would be gone from 7 AM to 4 PM and as soon as I came home would take over caring for the baby. I did most of the household tasks as well (cleaning, dishes, laundry, trash) and took care of our dog (his nightly walks, etc.) She was still exhausted and very lethargic, but I expected this and didn't try to push for any type of intimacy or do anything that would have added any additional stress. But she began making odd comments around this time (talking about her ex, bringing up how I might be better suited for other women -- and the women were not as attractive as my wife) and became increasingly passive aggressive ("well I could do [task] if the goal was for it to only be 90% done" -- an example that springs to mind is me bringing the trash out, the dog whining when I came in and putting water in his bowl before replacing trash bag. She threw something out during this window and made the remark).

In mid-May our roles swapped and I took the back half of my leave when she returned to work (it fed into my summer break - I teach - and so I am still off now). Since she has gone back to work and the comments have only increased and I am running out of patience with the postpartum hormonal excuse. I do all of the childcare and still do 90% of household tasks. I was hospitalized for a few days (she was pissed I originally suggested I needed to go to the ER) around her third week back and she was clearly bothered by this, and for the next five days after I returned she kept talking about how exhausted she was and how she needed to catch up on sleep. She logged off from work the Thursday and Friday night of that week, only interacted with our daughter and didn't speak to me for about 48 hours. She then told friends and family that she had been worried sick about me and had wished "I'd slow down and ask for help." She also made comments that I have a high pain tolerance so she was concerned when I went to the ER (again, she told me not to go morning of). It didn't make much sense given that her actions were not aligned to that reality.

As I am approaching my return to work, she is increasingly annoyed with me, and two days ago when we were driving to our daycare (meet the staff) she kept snapping at me that I was going to tell them useless information (on the intake sheet it asked what her current day-to-day looks like and I mentioned stroller walks). She slammed the car door when we arrived and didn't talk to me during the meet & greet or on the ride home. I've tried asking about how she's feeling and her only response is "it's not that deep". She continues to take shots at me, telling me that if I lose my hair she'd be annoyed (I haven't had any hair loss -- and she frequently talks about how her ex went bald) and that my face care is lazy (I have no breakouts).

I have been hesitant to really address any of these as she clearly has a lot on her plate and none of these behaviors seem characteristic of the woman I married and knew pre-pregnancy. I'm trying to give her time but I am also starting to feel incredibly isolated and it's clear to me that I'm not even in the top 5 in terms of priorities. Any advice would be appreciated, or thoughts. Honestly I just needed to vent this somewhere.

My husband and I got married 1.5 years ago. We are both in our thirties. I have no biological children but raise my niece. He has a 14 year old daughter from a previous relationship. Right before we got married I saw another girl calling him daddy. He explained to me that there was another child he originally thought was his but later learned there was another man involved. He had no contact with this child since she was about 2. She is now 15. 3 years ago while having doubts he reached out to the mom. The mom began to try to rekindle things and ask him for money for personal things. She wouldn’t allow him to talk to the daughter and kept saying she wasn’t home. He kept asking about the child and she would avoid it.He cut her off since he couldn’t speak to the child. Fast forward to right before we got married the child he never spoke to sends a voice note saying “Merry Christmas daddy” and asking what he was getting her. He asked the mom for a paternity test and we were going to pay. She disappeared. Now over a year later the child has moved and now attends school with his younger siblings. I guess some conversation happened between he and the mom and he told her he will speak to the child only. I see now they are speaking almost daily. He isn’t telling me anything. I just saw the call log. To add to it they live in Jamaica and we live in the U.S. I don’t know how to feel. He initially said he didn’t think she was his, but I think he doesn’t want to lose more time if she is his. I don’t know how to confront this again.

TL;DR: My husband says I expect perfection. I think I'm asking for consideration, communication, consistency, and partnership. After 14 years of feeling unheard and carrying most of the mental and emotional load, I don't recognize myself anymore. Can someone genuinely become more considerate and less defensive after this many years, or is this usually who they are?

My husband and I have been together for 14 years, married for 9, and have four children.

I'm not posting because I want strangers to tell me to divorce him.

I'm posting because I genuinely don't know whether I'm asking too much anymore.

I know I'm not perfect.

I've become more impatient, critical, and sarcastic over the years, especially when I feel unheard. I own that.

But I also know I wasn't always this way.

The longer I've reflected on our marriage, the more I realize my unmet needs have stayed remarkably consistent.

They are:

• Consideration – I want to feel like my husband naturally thinks about how his actions affect me. I don't want to have to point out every problem, explain why it matters, explain how to fix it, remind him, and still deal with the consequences.
• Communication – I don't need agreement. I need curiosity. I want conversations that lead to understanding instead of defensiveness. Too often my tone becomes the topic instead of my concern.
• Consistency – After difficult conversations he'll often apologize and say he understands. But I rarely see lasting behavioral change. I don't need more apologies. I need evidence.

Over the years I've also experienced being yelled at in front of our children, physical altercations during arguments that left me feeling unsafe, alcohol making conflicts worse, and vulnerable things I'd shared later being used during arguments.

I know he'd likely describe those situations differently.

I'm only explaining how they've affected me.

One of the hardest things for me is that I don't feel like my husband intentionally wants to hurt me.

I think he genuinely believes he's trying.

That's what makes this so confusing.

Good intentions don't change how the relationship feels to live in.

After years of repeating these patterns, I can't tell whether I'm asking someone to become someone they're simply not.

I carry most of our family's planning, organizing, scheduling, homeschooling, emotional labor, and problem-solving.

I'm exhausted.

Not just from the work.

From feeling like I'm carrying the relationship too.

One of his biggest unmet needs is physical intimacy.

Mine are emotional safety, consideration, communication, consistency, and partnership.

He believes we should work on meeting each other's needs simultaneously.

I understand that.

But I don't know how to reconnect physically when I still don't feel emotionally safe or emotionally connected.

The part that breaks my heart the most is this:

I don't like who I've become.

I don't think I'm naturally this critical or resentful.

I think years of trying to be heard have changed me.

I miss the version of myself who was lighter, more patient, and more joyful.

I don't need my husband to become perfect.

I need him to become responsive.

I need to know that when something hurts me, he'll genuinely try to understand it and that our relationship will actually look different over time.

For those who've been married a long time:

• Can someone genuinely become more considerate after years of not noticing these things?
• Can chronic defensiveness really change?
• Have any of you rebuilt emotional safety after years of feeling emotionally neglected?
• How did you know whether your spouse was struggling to change versus simply unable or unwilling to become the partner you needed?

More than anything, I feel lonely. I don't feel like I have a true partner beside me. I want to feel like someone is carrying life with me instead of standing next to me while I carry it alone.

Me and my wife have been married for 7 years and i'm starting to feel trapped as I'm feeling I want out. As our relationship continues I feel more that I'm just co-parenting with a housemate rather than a wife or even a friend.

For some back story, I am not lazy. I work a pretty solid job and am always doing my part. I love spending time with the kids and always ensure I am there for pick ups and drop offs. I do all the shopping for us, meal prep and cook each meal, each night.

Now my issue:

90% the time she is borderline rude to me and does not treat me like a parter. If I stop doing anything for a second she'll come and find me job to do. If I sit for a minute and she enters the room I do this weird semi apologising thing for just existing.

I think I hold resentment to her as she made me move to a place I didn't want to be and am really struggling to see upside. I stay as I love my kids to death and want to see them grow up. She is a lawyer who is constantly on which I think means I am a low priority, to the kids and her job.

I just didn't really sign up for this but I just don't know it's because our kids are young so we're going through the tough years?

M38 typical mid life crisis dude
Married but lost if this means anything

Wife very busy on phone - when I bring topic I get shoved off

Have asked directly , if i need to be worried but I’m always told no ..

What should i do ? Am I being an insecure guy ?