This is a conversation I had with a representative at Michigan Rehabilitative Services.

I was very on edge, as I am with most social interactions, and it was taking me a long time to figure out what was appropriate to ask/divulge and what wasn't. She gave me an ellipsis and I got defensive. I think I made her upset.

What could I have done differently, and what should I do now?

I've met a handful unfortunately. Not saying ableist neurotypical people are any better, but I find it bizarre how the ableist autistic people I met are aware of our struggles and they choose to be that way.

Reason for posting this is because I got wildly misinterpreted by a person like that even though I am always careful with my words as an autistic fem person/woman to be clear, not be misinterpreted and no offend anyone. Said person used the r slur.

I've also had plenty of experiences of ableist autistic people who used the r slur the exact way it is used in a derogatory way and when I calmly explained that that's not how reclamation works, I got jumped for it.

I'm tired how everyone buys into fascism and online spaces have increasingly worsened. I'm 22, so maybe it's also that I haven't experienced the old web, or maybe I became more aware idk.

I don’t know if this is an autism thing or a me thing. In my free time I can stare at a picture or replay a small video for up to 40/50 mins or even longer.
I think the longest I’ve looked at something is like two hours.

It sounds weird but let me explain a bit more. I have some special interests (as one has) and I save a lot of pictures on my phone. I can keep looking at a picture and it keeps giving me dopamine. I also have things in my room that I can stare at for hours.

Also the art I make. I love making digital art and I always spend so long staring at what I made. I also love staring at like small animations or other digital art. Is this a usual thing? Does anyone else do this?

I got my routine cards made specifically for me (even the icons are pink because I love pink) and my emotions cards I got to pick images for the ones that didn’t already have an icon so I picked pictures of animals!

every time i remember i have autism, i always feel upset by it. i’m trying to change this mindset, what are some positives i can think of instead?

That's too hard, especially since I'm in an autistic burnout for months...

I go out of my bedroom for 30 minutes, and I'm already overwhelmed.

I can't handle light or people.

I can't do anything. I'm stuck in the dark, waiting for I don't even know what.

This is not a life.

I'm at my parents' house, and I can't work or do outside activities. Cleaning my bedroom is already too much.

It's been months, and my regression is really bad.

I do everything I can to feel better: I rest, take care of myself, and even accept medication. I have a supportive family.

But even with everything going right, my life is hell.

And I will be fucking autistic all my life! That's a hell

33M I’m high functioning or I was at some point, I feel like I’m being “normal” in public, but today I was looking at the wine list at a restaurant and the waitress told me no the drinks are on another page and started paging my menu for me. With that air of you poor disabled man. I tried to make a joke but my sister who was with me just gave me a disgusted look like she hates being seen with me. I was ok but now hours later I hate my life, not being able to mask better, or how I used to. Being treated like a child but feeling like my calm intelligent real brain is trapped inside myself when in social settings. Being straight up ignored by people, like they’re not going to waste their time greeting me, but I’m considered rude? I just understand the life expectancy rumour of 34 more and more. I can’t keep living like this.

Lately, I’ve had so many changes happening in my life; I graduated high school, got a nearly full-ride scholarship for nursing school, and got my first “real” job at a hospital in town.

All that makes this post feel somewhat trivial, but I ate a salad for the first time tonight. Not just smelling it, or taking one bite so I can say I tried it, an actual legitimate serving size of Caesar salad. I’ve struggled with food my entire life, literally since I began eating solid foods, so I feel absolutely amazing right now. I’m also the only autistic person in my immediate family, and while they’re very supportive, there’s times like this where I’m reminded that they don’t really get how big this feels for me. So I thought I’d try sharing this here.

Tell me if you guys have had any success stories of overcoming restrictive eating and sensory avoidance!

(Also, please excuse the half eaten plate of food, I got very excited.)

i was so upset and crying lots doing lots of biting and hitting and now i feel icky, what does everyone here do after meltdowns?

does anyone else feel like they got the « bad » autism?

I’m not a prodigy at anything. I just have terrible social timing on top of my below-average intellect. My cousin—who also has autism—represents my country in international mathematics olympiads, and got a 1500 on the SAT without even speaking English. It’s fine for him to have no social skills, because his intelligence compensates for it. What do I have? Does anyone else feel like this? Like they’re just disadvantage? Born merely with no purpose.

For me, going to the movies alone. I found it to be a good excuse to get away from people for a bit, which is something in my opinion all autistics need. Besides, isn't the rule supposed to be you must be quiet? Like, I don't need another person for that, anyway.

I’m turning 36 today, and over the past few years, I’ve come to a firm realization: the older I get, the more I cherish peace, absolute freedom, and my own independence.

A life dedicated to quiet solitude and gaming—my absolute favorite hobby—feels like home to me. Yet, society insists on peddling the exact same tired script: "Just wait until you find the right person!" Why is it so hard for people to grasp that some of us simply don't want to make sacrifices, or subject ourselves to the inevitable friction and stress of romantic relationships?

Maybe it stems from my recent autism diagnosis, or perhaps it’s because I’ve been through enough turmoil over the last few years that no relationship feels worth rolling the dice for anymore. I thrive when I’m tucked away from the noise of the world, and my need for solitude is fundamentally at odds with traditional relationship expectations.

Despite what society preaches about "fulfillment," I am genuinely at ease in my own company. "I'm happy with my autonomy" should be reason enough, without everyone assuming it's a problem that needs fixing.

How do you deal with the relentless pressure to conform, especially if you’re autistic?

I cannot STAND being professional when I speak. I'll be polite! People deserve kindness and patience! Of course I'll be polite with anyone I speak with. But I get the worst possible ick whenever I have to be professional. I don't get why, either!! Logically, professional speech will get you farther in work related situations, interviews, networking, etc. But even though I know that, for some reason I cannot STAND SPEAKING PROFESSIONALLY!!

Yes sir/ma'am drives me insane. I've been told from a young age to address adults/bosses/etc with those honorifics. But I can't. It makes me genuinely teeter on the edge of verbal shutdown. My mom scolds me when I say "okay" instead of "yes ma'am". I say "okay" to everyone!! I also tend to nod a lot when agreeing instead of verbalizing my agreement. When I must speak I say "yes!" or "mhm!"

Being strictly professional and using language that indicates who you're addressing is above you somehow makes me feel so awful. I'm saying if the King of England himself asked me to do something for him, I'd say "okay". Yes sir?? yes your majesty?? idk!! you're not hearing it from me!! i hate it so much and I don't understand WHYYYYY I hate it so much!!

I'll keep my stance professional. I'll dress professional. I'll present myself in a professional way. But for some reason speaking professionally just makes me want to die. Of course I won't speak to someone with tons of slang, or like they're my best friend, or be improper/impolite. I'll be polite, I'll be engaging, I'll smile, I'll pay attention...!! but god!!! i don't know why I can't be professional with my speech 😭

I know so much discussion here is about people self diagnosing and perpetuating the ridiculous TikTok trend of thinking everyone is autistic, but this is focused on those who go undiagnosed or are dismissed constantly by our healthcare system, particularly women!

I've had two therapists say this to me!! It's like I'm not looking at YOU, I'm looking at the tape next to my camera and you think I'm looking at you!

Also, masking in therapy is a thing too, especially for late diagnosed people like me!

Please, if you encounter therapists who dismiss you over simple gestures based on empty assumptions, find another one!

I’m 20F and was recently formally diagnosed with autism, this did not exactly fall out of the sky.

I was in speech therapy for years as a child and diagnosed with ADHD and situational mutism around age seven. Autism was suggested more than once, but my family compared me to autistic relatives with higher support needs and decided I could not be autistic because I was not “like them.”

My father, 50M, has schizophrenia and strongly influenced that decision. He constantly talked about how he almost ended up in a rest home because he listened to “the people,” meaning medical professionals and taking medications. Because he distrusted professionals and thought labels would hold me back, my guardians did not pursue an autism diagnosis.

So basically, my autistic traits were noticeable enough to annoy everyone, never enough to deserve understanding. That’s just lovely (Sarcasm) .

My father loves conspiracy theories, yelling, talking over people, and giving unsolicited health advice. He picks apart people’s bodies and intelligence, then explains how diet will fix everything. He has called his own mother fat.

Meanwhile, I am already thin, eat well, and do Pilates, so apparently the missing cure for autism is… almonds and stepping in the sun for 30 minutes a day…?

He has a personal Hall of Fame of people he claims to have saved by his own hands. According to him, he helped autistic relatives with diet, he claims he fixed them, helped my aunt through breast cancer, helped his great-grandmother, apparently provides life-changing consultations to strangers in grocery stores. (i am not joking.)

These stories usually appear when someone asks him to stop talking.

Recently, we had company over at my grandmother’s house, where he also lives. I went into the kitchen for food and realized something had mustard on it, which is a major sensory trigger for me. I started shaking and froze while checking the rest of the food.
Then my brain suddenly noticed everything: people talking, appliances running, the ice machine, cars outside, and every other sound in existence. I became extremely overstimulated.

Because we had company, I was already barely speaking and trying to hold myself together. My father came close to me, so I asked him to step away for a second.

Instead, he made it about himself.
He acted like my request was an attack and started talking about how my behavior affects him. We have never really had a back-and-forth conversation. It is more like subscribing to a podcast I cannot pause.

I started crying and went to my room because I needed quiet. He followed me. He always does this. Whenever I say, “We can talk later,” “I don’t want to talk right now,” or “Please leave me alone,” he treats it like a starting pistol.

I told him he was making it worse and to leave. He kept lecturing me while I was crying on the floor. It became my worst meltdown in a long time, and I ended up hitting myself from distress.

During the meltdown, he discussed medication, drugs, rest homes, spirituality, nature, exercise, diet, and the vagus nerve(and so on) He also talked about the autistic traits of mine that make him uncomfortable. Because for some reason me being on the spectrum is all about him.

So while I was having a meltdown, he decided the emergency was how MY autism affected him.(Thanks dad)

The next day, instead of apologizing, he sent me a Google search about the vagus nerve and some emojis. He believes autism is a mental illness and seems to think it can be cured if I fix my diet, exercise more, connect with nature, or adjust my lifestyle. I have explained that autism is a neurodevelopmental disability and that I was born autistic.

My diagnosis did not create these traits; it gave me language for experiences I have had my whole life.
Healthy habits may help anyone feel better, but they will not uninstall autism.

He also regularly tests my intelligence, tells me to “critically think,” breaks apart individual words instead of responding to my actual point, and tells me I am “not slow” or “not the r-word” whenever I do literally anything.

He took one online class involving critical thinking and has apparently been appointed Professor of Every Conversation.

I leave for college again soon, living around him is draining me.. I feel I am constantly bracing for another lecture, conspiracy theory, criticism, or boundary violation.

At this point, I do not know whether I need better autism resources or an industrial-strength pair of noise-canceling headphones.

How do you explain sensory overload, shutdowns, and meltdowns to someone who refuses to listen or have a two-way conversation?

Should I stop trying to make him understand and focus on protecting my energy until I leave?

I would especially appreciate advice from autistic adults whose families dismissed their autism because they were compared to relatives with higher support needs.

TL;DR: I’m 20F and recently diagnosed autistic after signs were dismissed throughout childhood. My 50M father believes autism is a mental illness that can be fixed with diet, exercise, nature, spirituality, and apparently the vagus nerve. During severe sensory overload, I asked him to step away, but he followed me to my room and turned my meltdown into a lecture about himself. He ignores boundaries, questions my intelligence, and thinks he has personally saved everyone he has ever met. I leave for college soon. Do I try to educate him, or just protect my peace?

I’m in another sub and I’m getting a jumped on because I’m asking a simple question to not ask the poster about what caused their trauma. If they wanted to share, they would volunteer that. I don’t understand what’s hard about that. The comment I responded to said they didn’t understand how someone from a stable family could have trauma and where did the trauma came from? I just think that question is wildly inappropriate because even without asking gruesome details just asking someone hey how are you? Traumatized is kind of fucked up. Am I wrong? I wasn’t mean about it. All I simply said was that question is not respectful and they do not owe you that information that’s it and yet people are attacking me for it.

My kid is the “weird” kid. She(11F) is about to enter 6th grade and I’m absolutely terrified. For context, she has autism, high functioning but was in sped up until this past school year. Even though she is 11, she loves bluey, fifi and the flower tots, bob the builder etc. a bunch of little kid shows. I’ve tried showing her more age appropriate shows but she doesn’t like them. She talks to herself… A LOT. I’m used to it but if you didn’t know her I could understand how that seems weird/different.

She also is in speech so her vocabulary isn’t the best and she struggles with pronunciation. In 4th grade she did half days in her sped class, half in her genn ed class. By 5th grade, she was fully integrated into genn ed! When she switched over, we(her family) was beyond ecstatic and so proud of how hard she worked. She’s very smart. She does struggle with reading and in her IEP she gets read a loud because she can read but if she’s reading to herself she struggles to actually understand the text vs just reading it. She excels in math. Girl is a human calculator.

That being said, her 5th grade classmates were beyond nice and accepting of her. Maybe because they understood she was different from the beginning and had her in there class for two years or maybe because I was the SRO at their school but either way, she loved school and loved her classmates. She was invited to all the birthday parties, always was invited for group projects and not ignored or had to have the teacher assign her. She made one really good friend that she considered her “bestfriend” but of course she move away and that ended.

Now summer is coming to an end. My daughter is currently in a camp for the school district. This age group is uprising 6th grade -uprising 8th grade. Our middle school here takes all the 5th graders from 5 elementary schools and combines them into one middle school. So all these kids in this camp have never met her. I also work at the camp every year. Sure enough a boy comes off the bus to me, tells me my daughter (he doesn’t know it’s my daughter) was being made fun of on the bus by a group of older boys. My heart sunk.

Another officer working the camp, handled the situation because obviously it was a conflict of interest. But I pulled my daughter to the side. She was heartbroken. She couldn’t understand why. She was sitting in the seat just talking to herself to pass the time and singing her self songs quietly in her seat and from what I gather from the other police officer and my daughter the boys decided to mock her and make fun of her. I tried so hard not to cry while talking to her but of course my hormones are all over the place (4 months pregnant). And I told her to just ignore them and go have fun… but the damage was done.

She stayed by herself, alone the entire time. Played mini golf by herself and sat down and asked me to take her home. I explained I was working and we couldn’t just leave. Luckily the boy who told me she was getting picked on noticed my daughter struggling and started playing and hanging out with her. It just kills me to see her struggle to make a genuine connection with someone and how mean kids can be towards another child for being different. Being an SRO/police officer has not helped because I’ve unfortunately witnessed the worst of the worst in children and adults and realized people can just be mean for the sake of being mean. I love my daughter and all I want is for her to be HAPPY. Truly happy.

She’s also a fantastic artist and I’m hoping once she starts middle school they might have some sort of art club or something to that she could enjoy. For the record I have tried multiple different extra curricular activities. We’ve done dance, karate, softball, gymnastics, cheerleading. Sure enough the friend groups start to form… she’s never in any of them and by the end of the season or course, she’s done and doesn’t want to go back… I just don’t know what to do. I just want her to have a genuine connection with just one friend. I guess I’m just looking for someone who has/had a child going through this (autism or not) and has positive story to share to let me know I’m not alone and it gets better, or if you were the “weird” kid, did things get better as you got older? Thanks guys.

Edit: made paragraphs as requested by one post for easier reading.

Update:

THANK YOU everyone for all the responses, I wasn’t expecting this many. I’m slowly making my way through them but I wanted to let everyone know I appreciate all the responses and constructive criticism and feedback. Even the responses that told me to pretty much get ready for it to only get worse, I appreciate the honesty.

I’d like to note that I am not trying to get my daughter to stop watching any toddler shows! I have absolutely no issues with it, but it is a constant theme of her coming home and saying someone was making fun of her because she told them she likes “teletubbies/bluey etc.” I would never force her to watch something she doesn’t want to or force her to stop something she enjoys!! Same with the sports/activities she’s already done. I never signed her up for anything she did not either bring to my attention first or agree upon.

Also so far from what I gathered theater/drama club would be a fantastic fit for her!!! I totally forgot about the behind the scenes things she could do!! I’ll definitely explain to her about other things she could do that might peak her interests.

I’ll continue to read everyone’s comments! Again I really appreciate everyone who took the time to read my post and give feedback. Hearing from the individuals who unfortunately have struggled with this, I also appreciate you posting your experiences! Thank you, everyone.

Lol, this is why I never hike with people, never doing this shit again.

For context, I’m not autistic myself, but I had the sweetest encounter with an autistic child today (I did assume he had it, and the mother confirmed)
So, I went to the ER because I had SIRS. After I was discharged, I waited for my brother in the hospital hallway since he had dropped me off. I noticed a little boy (who looked about five years old) running around. When he saw me, he stopped to sit beside me.
He gently held my hand and looked like he was about to cry. I was so exhausted and disoriented that I didn’t understand why at first. Then he looked at me with teary eyes, pointed at the gauze and tape on my hand, and kept repeating the word “hurt,” as if he was asking whether I was in pain.
I smiled and said, “I’m okay, buddy.” I tried explaining it simply to him “I had been sick and the doctors had given me injections to help me get better”.
He then rested his cheek on my hand and gently rubbed it while saying “Better.”
I’m not an emotional guy, but I swear I was seconds away from ugly crying. It was such a sweet, precious moment. I was completely overwhelmed by his empathy.
He truly made my day. The past year was full of personal losses, and I’ve had no one to lean on. I kept it all in, but that little encounter made me think, maybe it isn’t all that bad, at least Charlie cared :)
Thank you, Charlie. I hope you have a wonderful life ahead of you. May no one ever hurt your pure heart.

Title says it all, first event in 3 years and didn't have a panic attack. Thats all just thought it might give others hope.

I was diagnosed with Autism PDDNOS when I was 2. Now that I'm older I realize that I can't imagine my life without autism. From my experience, I'm proud that I can think critically and see things that not a lot of people notices half of the time. Yes there are issues I have faced with autism but what person doesn't have issues, the problems I have is when I see other autistic people putting themselves down for being autistic and when dealing with Neurotypical people who judge me or think they are automatically better. I don't go out of my way to try to act Neurotypical I just be myself and that's what matters the most.

Advice on what would you give me if you agree or disagree on my experience.

Surely I can't be the only one.

I'm 28F, LVL 1, low support needs.

I've had to have 2 fillings this year and I genuinely think I never want to go back to the dentist, purely because I can't handle to local anaesthetic taking ages to thaw out.

I've tried googling if it's just me who will get close to meltdown when the feeling of dental anaesthetic won't go away and I'm getting scared it is. Everyone else seems to not even feel it.

The sensory feeling of half my mouth being numb is worse than any pain I have ever felt during a dental procedure. My tongue, cheek, teeth, and lip being numb and uncomfortable for HOURS afterwards is not something I am able to handle well.

I've tried asking the dentist to just do it without anaesthetic but he "doesn't want to cause me unnecessary pain".... I'm literally going to be spiralling for hours because my face is so uncomfortable and no matter what I do it won't go away. I feel like it gets me depressed and anxious.

I've also had fillings in the past from a dentist who no longer practices, who would honour that id rather feel the pain than the numbing.

I've seen others say their dentists provide a product that makes numbing go away, but Ive never ever found a dentist who uses it.

Anyway... This surely can't just be me? Does anyone else get stressed/overloaded from this feeling? Or is it really just me?

I'm currently experiencing this, which has prompted the post and the desire to feel less alone.

For months now, there has been construction going on in and around the house. The kitchen and the back garden have been completely revamped. It has lead to a lot of messes being made and it has been VERY stressful. Between the dust and the noise, it’s a complete sensory nightmare.

But perhaps the worst part is how people keep trying to force me to get involved in the work.

More than once over the last half year or so, my mum will tell me that I have to help her boyfriend (who is a complete nob) around the house with no warning time beforehand. He uses a lot of very loud tools and he shouts a lot, both at me and people in general. It is very overstimulating. It’s gotten to the point where multiple times I’ll just walk out of the house for a bit and wait for things to quiet down. Which of course leads to people calling me lazy and so on.

I just don’t like doing manual labour. Especially under such circumstances.

I’m venting about this because it happened again today. Mum told me I had to help her and her bf with work in the front garden with like an hours notice. When I do go outside he’s using a chainsaw and shouting at my mum to get some plastic bags or something. I just left the house for a bit.

On a semi-unrelated note, two other things I wanna complain about is the fact that:

A. Multiple times I have been woken in the early hours of the morning by him using drills in the kitchen (right below my bedroom)

B. Out front garden, which once looked so lovely and picturesque, has been gradually ruined, because of how much rubbish they’ve just chucked onto it.

Rant over