I see a lot of posts on here saying its hard to make friends in Melbourne so I thought I would help out and make a big list of as many groups and communities as I can to help people out.
It is often true that its hard to make friends with people who already have their friends and have busy lives, they just actively aren't looking.
But its also true that people with lots of friends still want to make new friends.
And it is very true that there are a lot of people in Melbourne who are new to the city, or their past friends have drifted away because thats how life happens.
*** Before you start, work on your mindset **\*
First, a few things you have to do to actually make the friendship happen:
- Get their name, 5 seconds later actively try to recall their name and say it out loud if you have to. Ask them again if you have to, tell them your name again if you have to. It's not weird its very relatable. If you have to write it down do it.
- Swap instagrams or whatsapp. Otherwise what are you doing.
- Actively organise a catch up, solo or group a week later.
- Ask the other person as much as you can about them and their life. Small talk won't work.
- Break past the small talk and get real, tell them a story about your life, funny, relatable, vulnerable, they will open up too, they will try to help, problem solve, maybe even relate back to you.
- Engage in their interests if something pops up about it, send it to them, show them you remember what they told you.
- Don't be scared or shy. If you meet them one of these ways, they're probably also looking for friends as much as you are. Your shyness is getting in the way. Everyone is vulnerable here, you are not alone.
- Because other people are shy, you should always try to initiate. You have nothing to lose, but you lose by not trying/initiating.
- Don't obsess over age. Age is not a big deal when it comes to friendships, and your connections will all fall into place over time with the right people anyway.
- Don't be offended by someone else's availability or interest, don't feel disheartened, everyone has got busy lives and we don't know what's going on for them. They might not be the right friend for us, they might live on the other side of town, or it might be bad timing in their lives. So stay positive. Keep meeting new people. You will find people who are available and do want to hang out with you.
*** Most importantly **\*
- Most importantly, give people a chance. Someone may be quite different to you and the kind of friends you are used to. It might not even feel like it clicks or it may feel awkward. It's actually normal that it doesn't click at first. But in my experience, that always passes with time. Some of the most different people to me have become some of my favourite people and most special friends. So be open minded, don't judge on first impression on the first meet up. Give people a few goes. Organise a few activities, in no time you'll have a lot more things to talk about.
Oh yeah, and also:
- Invite your new friends to meet your other new friends. Invite your new friends to parties and things you get invited to if you can. Organise group catch ups. You are equally a part of making an inclusive open minded friendship culture happen as much as anyone else and if you do this enough you will have a community. You'll be helping others who would love the help just like you.
***
These all easily apply to anyone between 18-40. There are more options for people over 40 but I find most questions on here come from people in their 20s & 30s.
Places to meet people:
- Bumble BFF: Works great for women, I recommend organising a group meet up at a cafe instead of 1-1.
- Timeleft app: Sets you up on a dinner with 5 other people who are all trying to make friends.
- There is a music app called Muse: for people who want to connect with others who love music gigs and festivals too. It's a little restrictive but I think they've improved it.
- Literally any run club
- Literally any sports club: works great for men.
- Tennis, pickleball, padel clubs have open nights where you play with randoms at a similar level to you. Suggest a beer or a sports drink for after!
- Active locals app: Social sports app to find groups to play sport with in Melbourne.
- Open mic scene, stick around and get to know the other artists, show up regularly and you might see them again each week.
- Choirs if you enjoy that.
- Butter app: a social app that was made in Melbourne.
- University clubs: without a doubt, but you've got to join the committee.
- Meetup app: this always gets mentioned but I feel its mainly for a 40+ crowd.
- University social events/parties: 100% but make sure you talk to new people. Organise to go to the next uni party together. Do/organise pre's with them.
- Instagram social groups →There are sooo many of these.
- First timers club
- Conscious Connections
- Hype girl social club
- Friends on purpose
- To be read book club
- Social circle co
- Bigger things club
- Girls night bookclub
- Just search friendship groups Melbourne on instagram and they all pop up.
- Facebook social groups: to do with finding friendship & hobby interest groups.
- e.g. I know for sure people successfully find friends on the DnD groups on Facebook.
- Go along to existing group catch ups even if you aren't sure if they are similar to you.
- You should organise an easy group catch up that is central, at least 2 people will show up and now you know 2 more people.
- Any course where you meet up once a week over many weeks. But you still have to make an effort to connect with them outside of the program. Making a group chat right at the start helps. Initiate, initiate, initiate.
- Language courses.
- Regular art classes.
- Dance classes and dance studio open days, talk to others! suggest the same class next time or go for coffee after.
- Your local dog park: Just start a conversation and ask them about their life and ask their name. Before you know if you'll be asking how their day was and have someone or a group of people to just unwind with after a stressful work day.
- Volunteer at literally anything. You can make friends with the other volunteers and its a good chance you are like minded too.
There are more ways but this is all I can think of right now.
Good luck! Make a solid effort! make the first move yourself! and stay positive!