THIS POST IS FOR TRANS MEN/MASCS ONLY!

Why do I suddenly see trans men getting blamed?

This is a genuine question. I am transmasc myself. Growing up my friends have all been other trans individuals(trans gals trans men trans nb, pretty much the whole spectrum) and some have medically transitioned and some have not. I recently got a Tumblr account and there is so much transandrophobia. A lot of trans women throwing trans men under the bus for no reason. I have never seen so much hate in my community, not even growing up as teens when we all had our edgy stages. What is happening? It's just brought up randomly and half of the time has no correlation with the subjects at hand.

And to clarify: This does not mean trans women don't face transmisogyny or transphobia. They do. I'm also not saying trans men have it harder, both have unique struggles and to compare the two would be to compare apples to oranges. I'm not saying these small comments are oppression either. I am genuinely wondering what happened and what changed.

I do not lack media literacy either.

I'd like some links to read up on this if you have any. I'm not looking to argue about who is more oppressed or any of that, like I said that's apples to oranges.

Notes:

I genuinely have no idea why this was removed, it's a genuine question. It also annoys me that anytime a trans dude speaks on this it is instantly shut down. WTF y'all.

I think gender queer spaces are important, and I also think womens spaces are important, but seeing ‘AFAB’ spaces or just generally generalizing based off agab really rubs me the wrong way and it seems like this new modern way to judge people based off assigned gender and convey that you don’t view trans people as the gender they identify as. Like idk if this is a wild take but there should be spaces that exist for non-men, and trans men are men! I understand a lot of trans men have experienced misogyny and many don’t have male privilege at all which is why i do also think just generally gendwr queer spaces should exist, but the grouping of people who are AFAB feels so strange. Ive seen some where trans women are included too like AFABs/women but thats also leaving out any like AMAB nonbinary people or lets be real any straight/cis passing trans men would probably feel unwelcome in these spaces and women there would feel uncomfortable.
I feel like including trans men in womens spaces or like womens universities just isnt the play guys, idk maybe im wrong. I think at some point gender shouldn’t matter but rn we still need spaces for non-men, and i dont rlly think we need spaces for ‘afab people’ it seems like a bioessentialist take that what ur born with is a reflection of how safe you are and it diminishes the identities of trans men. We should totally have more gender queer spaces not just women only spaces, but they gotta include trans women and other AMAB genderqueer people.

This is a bit of an incoherent yap sesh and im open to my opinion on this changing especially bc I know a lot of lgbtq people campaigning for stuff like this, but from what im seeing this seems very counterproductive and like we are reducing people to AFAB/AMAB and deciding how much privilege they have or how safe they are based on that. Some trans men do have the lived experiences and struggles of being a woman, but some transition younger and grow up with a good amount of male privilege (though ofc it is still not cis guy level), point is AGAB is not a productive thing to categorize with outside of some specific circumstances.

also pls ask any clarifying questions, idk if some of my thoughts came across like fully

Hiya!
I’m currently writing a story about a trans man in a twd style zombie apocalypse, however it is set in the mid - late nineties. I’m hoping for some input from older trans folk on what it was like transitioning in the 90s!
Main questions I have;

• Binding - What would’ve been used? Bandages? were clip binders a thing at the time? multiple sports bras?

• Testosterone - Was it possible to get testosterone in your 20s? What was the common method of application? How expensive was it?

• Public Outlook - What did other members of the queer community typically think of trans men? what was the general opinion on transgender people? (ik it would be area specific, story is set in chicago if thats relevant.)

• Name Change - Was it possible to legally change your name? Was being completely stealth at all possible?

Forgive my ignorance 🙏 i am in my 20s and started transitioning in late 2020 so I don’t have much knowledge about any of this. Any answers or anecdotes would be greatly appreciated!!
Thank you for taking the time to read this :))

I'm so scared. I thought this was going to be a happy day, I finally got prescribed T. I've been investigating for months and decided to go on SubQ, my major drawbacks from T were the pain (I've got a REALLY low pain tolerance) and the fact that at the end of the month the T REALLY downspikes.

Turns out that I can't go on SubQ, apparently where I live there isn't enough information and according to my doctor I 'made it up' and that I'm being dramatic (I know) and that none of his patients have ever been unhappy. I know I'm being dramatic, but my parents and the doctor also kept having this back-and-forth about how I'm overweight and I'm always eating (I overeat due to anxiety) and how that is going to affect the results.

I also have to go do it at the hospital every month, it can't be at home and it HAS to be on the butt.

Any kind of advice is appreciated, I'm simply scared, and I've been considering stop eating several times in my life, but I always ended up eating EVERYTHING in sight and feeling like the fucking pig that I am.

My entire life ive wanted a penis. I even tried to “grow” one as a kid. I went through presenting as trans and it wasnt a perfect fit. Im not even sure I would call myself nonbinary? Using/ being called by they/them pronouns doesnt bother me but its just easier to use my assigned at birth pronouns.

That being said, I still want a penis. Im 28 and married now though. Ive looked at packers and thought about getting one many times, before and after marriage, specifically the STP packers but I dont want my husband to feel any type of way about it. Hes very straight. What do I do? Im not sure pushing this thought down is gonna work for the rest of my life. It keeps coming up. I just want to feel the way I envision my “perfect body”.

Hi!

This is basically just a funny story. I remember when I was 19 or 18 or 20 or idk some years around those 3 numbers and about to start T. They did the internal and endocrine tests on me, and the provider seemed kinda in thought about something, but she didn't say anything and gave me the go-ahead. The only thing she said was "Huh. We have never seen a trans man being prescribed that before." referring to a medication I would later learn was like...E I think?? They knew about it and told me to stop taking it 3 months prior to the assessment iirc, but yeah I was not aware that that was like...an E supplement or whatever. I don't remember the name and I was taking it since I was 11 or 12 or so because my gynecologist prescribed it to me because my puberty was weird or whatever. Idk as I said it was a long time ago I don't remember any of that.

But the doc doing the assessment didn't say anything beyond that. I guess she thought I knew what exactly I was taking? I didn't. My gyno just told me (allegedly) that it was necessary when I was a child and I was taking it since then.

Anyway, she gave me the go ahead for T. I never read the hormone test results she sent me a copy of. Well, I did, but only very recently, which I will get to later.

So I get on T, right? This was during a time when they stopped making estrogen-blockers or whatever in my country, so instead of being put on blockers for the first two months and then on T, I was put directly on T. Iirc after a short consultation, they decided to put me on nearly the full dose right away. After 4 months, I was supposed to get my hormones checked and dose possibly changed. So I go there. I get my blood taken and all that jazz.

Later, they call me up, saying: "Yeah so your levels are looking good, you now have testosterone levels in the normal range for teenage girls, so we'll work on raising that."

Now??? What???

It didn't occur to me to ask follow up questions. For a while, I thought she meant to say "teenage boys" and just misspoke. But then I thought to check the results I got from that pre-T hormone assessment.

My T was, according to the doctor, waaaayyyy below the normal range for girls and women. So was my E. I know that the E levels are different depending on the time of the cycle, but the part of the monthly cycle was noted in the results and my E was way too low even when accounting for that. The closest E levels to my results are the levels of post-menopausal women.

Nobody directly mentioned this to me for reasons I can only assume were them thinking that I was already aware of this. For some reason doctors tend to think that (feat. The guy removing my birthmark casually asking me if my scars are from the surgery for my Pectus Excavatum. I did not know that I have Pectus Excavatum.) (feat. My GP's nurse asking me "And do you still do PT for your scoliosis?" I was not aware that I have scoliosis. I have never done PT for scoliosis. What do you mean I have scoliosis???).

But yeah anyway that's how I randomly found out that apparently, if left unmedicated, I have both T and E levels that are way below what they should be for a perisex cis adult woman??? Wack.

I know, I know. In a perfect world I wouldn't ever consider moving there. But I'm in a really complicated predicament here, and I need some specifics from people who are there or used to be there.

I know it's one of the "do not travel" states, but I'm already in the other, Florida. But I think I've gotten really lucky here, bc I'm in the St Pete area, which is queer as fuck.

But onto the situation at hand. I currently live with my two closest friends in the world (They're married). These people are literally the only people I have. And they wanna move to Texas for a series of reasons; Better weather, cheaper housing, his grandparents live there, etc etc. But obviously, it's a very big concern for me. My buddy tried to ease my fears by telling me they saw plenty of clearly trans/queer people while they were visiting, but that doesn't actually say much about how safe it is.

So my question more or less is, when it comes to places you have to show ID or otherwise out yourself, how bad it is down there? I know day to day no one's gonna bother me. I will have had top surgery by the time this move would take place, and I already pass as is. No one's gonna bother me in the grocery store or something. It's getting medical care that scares me. It's getting my ID changed over and my car registered. It's picking up prescription; T included.

They'll obviously see that I'm trans when I go to get my ID changed over, will they be able to deny me because I'm trans? I've heard of some places trying to say being trans is "fraud" and I don't wanna get caught up if that's something Texas actually inforces in some way. Florida already sucks and I'm stuck with a big F on my ID forever, and I know Texas isn't gonna make that situation any better.

And again, I KNOW I shouldn't be considering going there at all. But if the only two people I have in the world are gonna go, what the fuck am I supposed to do? I can't afford to live alone, and I can't lose my only social circle. I feel trapped between two horrible options, and have no idea how to decide.

I can't immediately tell them no just based off fears. I need information. Am I gonna get denied medical care or even be injured or killed by medical professionals over there? Sure, my friends saw trans people there, they're alive, but how bad are their lives actually? That's something they can't tell me. Sure, those people are alive, but what quality of life do they have there? These are the things I need to know.

Any insight on this is appreciated. Please refrain from negative comments, I know how bad a decision this could be, I am so fully aware. But I need information before I make the choice that's right for me.

I have been trans for 5 years and out for 4, and lately, I’ve become comfortable with acting and presenting more feminine. I remember I used to refuse to wear clothing that made me feel slightly feminine because I would’ve rather died than be seen in that kind of way. but now, I could go out in a crop top showing my binder and my waist and I couldn’t care less. I no longer feel the need to be hypermasc anymore. I like the fact that I’m small, too, instead of hating it and wishing I had more muscle and height.

I don’t know what this means for me. I am still a trans man and know with all my heart that is who I wanna be, but my feelings about being masculine have drastically changed. I guess maybe I’ve become more comfortable within my identity? has anybody else experienced something similar to this? I’m pre everything, by the way

Eli Wood has been missing from Kitchener, Ontario, Canada since October 19th, 2025 after his home was burned in an arson fire. Police have deemed foul play is involved. His service dog's remains were found inside but theres been no trace of him. He is 25 years old, 4'10, and 95lb. His mom's name/facebook is Cindy Wood Amero where there are updates about the search and photos so people know what he looks like. Please everyone keep your eyes and ears open. I am a trans man from the same city and it is devestating that he hasn't been found yet. The local police are asking people to please contact them if they have any information: 519-570-9777 ext 8191

All of my life, ever since I was a kid, everyone in my family told me I look like my two female cousins on my Dad's side. Same shape of nose, similar hair, face etc. Just younger (they're both ten or more years older than me)

Today I met up with my parents at the mall to chat; my grandpa was with them and didn't recognize me at first - he doesn't know I'm trans and I don't mind, he was a little confused because of my buzzcut. Anyway.

We sat down to chat and that's when my Dad turned to my Mama to tell her I now look like one of my male cousins (the brother of one of the female cousins I was always told I looked like) with the only difference being that his face is rounder than mine.

My parents don't fully understand the "whole trans thing" and aren't the best at showing their emotions, but they're doing their best, I think.

So that made me really happy.

I'm just a regular dude who happens to have girl parts so ill take the advantages i can get. like being invited to sleepovers with girls i like, and being more approachable to them, as well as having a larger singing range for theater. It really aint as bad as people say. sure some legislation is creeping up behind me to strike but we chill cus aint nothing I can do about it, so why worry? the weight of the world is a beautiful thing.

I'm high as fuck btw. thank you for listening to my ted talk

my boyfriend is trans 20, and so am i, trans man 19. and i want to find more ways i can affirm him while he's still loading (he's about 1 month on T gel) and there hasn't been many visible changes yet and i want to know some advice on how i can affirm him while he's waiting for more changes. i've been on T shots for a little over a year and i know how hard it is to wait. do you guys have any advice? for more info/context, he's only been out for like a year and he's having a difficult time trying to find himself outside of his gender and his upbringing, and i feel like i'm being supportive and helpful, (i convinced him that he should just bite the bullet and get on T instead of waiting for his life to be "perfect" to do it. as well as encouraging him to see a therapist and a psychiatrist for his debilitating anxiety, which he is now medicated for and is feeling much better) but i still want to help in any way i can. help!

I found this out a couple of days ago and am still flabbergasted. I was quite wasted that night. For a bit of context:

The agreement my parents had was basically, if it is a girl, my mom chooses the name. If it is a boy, my dad would.

(Am using options A, B, and C as replacement for the names, lol. Sorry if it is confusing.)

A would be my mom's choice of a boy name which... would simply not actually happen cz my dad would name me.

B is my dad's first option. (which is also quite a cool one, but I cannot yet imagine going by it, as it is a very traditionally masculine name that I do not see myself using at least until I pass well enough)

C is my current chosen name, which is quite androgynous and I had initially seen it as a 'safe name' type of placeholder, because I had been told by an unreliable source (😅) I would've been named A and assumed it was my dad's choice, so I kinda saw it as a destination point despite actually quite liking my current name. This was a misunderstanding.

So I was told by said unreliable source I would've been named A, and I basically mentioned it to my dad like "You were gonna name me A, right? Yeah, if/when I medically transition I'll go with that." and he was like "...What? I was not gonna name you A. No, you mom wanted to name you A." and I was like "No? Then what were you gonna name me? If I were born a cis boy, you would've named me." and he went "Huh, lemme think. I haven't thought of it in a long time. Uhh... I would've name you... well, your current name." and I was so shocked. I was like "No fkin way." he said "Yeah, I would've named you B, or C." and let's say my literal chosen name is C. I said "That is fkin crazy, there is no way." and he was like "Well, actually now that you mention it, it is a pretty crazy coincidence." I got so emotional and probably looked like a giggling happy crying drunk (lol), but I think about a week or so later I am still riding that high.

Idk if I am making sense rn, but okay. Wanted to share cz it still trips me up.

(English is not my first language)

You gotta to prioritize your higher range. You’re starting masc puberty now, your voice isn’t gonna stay high, and while it’s dropping, you’ll lose the ability to sing a lot of great numbers. That isn’t dependant on the person, it’s just an inevitability.

My buddy really worked on his higher range while he was starting on T, and somehow never lost his falsetto the whole time, and could even project it out on stage. Since I only ever practiced my lower range, I completely lost the ability to sing even the non-crazy tenor songs for like, 4 years. I just got it back over a year ago, and while I lost all the bass notes I could somewhat hit as a teenager, it’s much nicer to be able to sing the long list of songs I wish I could before. Everyone’s voice evens out eventually, but it took my voice a whopping 7 years to sing the songs I wanted to. Which was completely on me: the only person I’d ever chastise for making that mistake.

This isn’t a dire issue, and if you have a lower voice and plan on being a bass singer, this probably isn’t applicable. But I know how fucking annoying it is to lose your tenor range otherwise. If you’re in theatre, other than the old men who notoriously have the worst songs, basically every song is meant for a tenor. Did Newsies in 2019 when I had about an octave of a range to work with. Had a fantastic time, couldn’t hit a single note though.

I am due to start my second MSW internship next month. I have already met with my supervisors and they are aware that my pronouns are he/him, and my email signature very clearly states said pronouns along with a masculine name. Yet, when I received a reply from one of said supervisors, she referred to me as “she.”

I am debating on whether or not to correct this given that I am scared that if I do, perhaps I will be resented/retaliated against (I have had this same situation happen in the past but with a professor). But I also really want to make things clear, especially when my email states what my pronouns are.

Is there a polite way I can bring this up? It is in an email thread with two other people, but I plan to only reply to the woman who misgendered me, if it is fair for me to do so.

I've seen a bunch of posts about how all the Elliot Page hate is hard to see and really bringing people down. Of course, transphobia sucks. But I've not seen any of the hate at all. It's not because I don't believe it's there. I block transphobic content. You have control over what you see online to a large extent.

Keep constructive positive ideas in your feed. That's important for developing informed opinions. But useless hate? Block away.

I know the hate can feel alluring in a grotesque sort of way. I used to consume a lot of it. And it was not good for me. I started blocking things and poof! So if the Elliot Page stuff or anything else hate-driven is really getting you down, block it. And if you can't control it on the social media site you are on, take a break from that site.

edit: sp

Kind of a stupid issue ngl but im curious as to if any of yall feel similarly

Now that I'm traversing life as a closeted trans dude, people think of me as just some guy. Which is great! But... I kinda feel like a bad feminist for "taking the place" of a woman, metaphorical speaking, specifically when it comes to workplace related things. If i was a chick i couldve been an inspiration to women and girls but instead im a guy. I know its literally a terf talking point but i cant help feeling sorta guilty for not being subject to misogyny anymore. Anyone else feel this way too? How do yall cope with this feeling?

Ok, this is a weird one, I'll admit. I recently got a new job that requires a more formal professional dress code. I would like to get new mens formal wear, including a new pair of formal shoes. The issue is that I have teeny tiny feet at a size 6-7 women's. Do y'all have any recommendations for brands that sell mens shoes for tiny feet? Bonus points for if they're relatively affordable.

Thanks in advance.

when i don’t feel secure in myself i revert back to my old mindset and be walking around ready to smack someone and having bad thoughts ab women. don’t wanna be like that for obvious reasons and don’t even agree with my thoughts

(im in the uk to preface so nhs, shared care agreement)

I just had a blood test done 4 months on T (should’ve been 3 but they fucked up and didnt test my testosterone at all) and my serum T came back as 6nmol/l and says on my nhs app that it’s in normal range but every prescribing guide via the nhs says 8nmol/l is the absolute lowest it should be? should I just book an apt with my doctor anyway? I hate being bothersome but yk this shit kinda important. i dont have any of the “symptoms“ my endo describes of my T being too low like lowered energy and stuff but i also never had any of the energy jump I was told I’d have every shot either so… idk. just lookin for some advice.

im on 4 week intervals of sustanon.

edit: added my med and freq of dose