I was only there for 2 days (it’s a tea shop btw) and I was doing as much as possibly without being in the way. I wasn’t allowed to do much like register or make the drinks, but I was cleaning, helping organize, and just really trying to prove that I’m a good fit.

Customer rapport was a big deal at this job as well and I’ve lived in this place my whole life and luckily don’t have much social anxiety so I find it pretty easy to talk to others.

I often pride myself in my work ethic and I know I can be a great worker, but I just don’t understand what went wrong? I don’t even know how to respond to such a thing…

My fiance (30F) and I (32M) are getting married this fall. We both have decent careers, no kids and neither of us has been married before. We decided together that we'd look into getting a prenup because I own a small business that I started before we met and she has some investments and family money of her own. We had our first consultation with a family lawyer this week and one of the first things he said was that we should each have our own attorney review the agreement before either of us signs it. He explained that it's the best way to make sure everything is fair and that neither of us feels pressured.

On the drive home, my fiance said it sounded completely unnecessary. From her perspective, if we're already paying one lawyer to draft the agreement, why would we spend thousands more for another lawyer just to read the same document? She also said it makes the whole process feel more adversarial than she expected.

I can understand why she feels that way but the lawyer made it sound like this is just how these things are normally done. Now I'm worried that pushing for separate attorneys is going to make her think I don't trust her, while ignoring the advice feels shortsighted. Neither of us is trying to take advantage of the other and I'd rather deal with a little inconvenience now than regret cutting corners later.

What should I do?

My husband “surprised” me by buying a $65k fishing boat because he claimed it was a “once in a lifetime deal”. I had no idea he’d taken a loan out for it until our mortgage payment bounced this month.

He insists he’ll make the money back through charter fishing on weekends, but he doesn’t even have any clients lined up. Meanwhile we’re behind in bills and our savings are almost gone trying to keep up with our loan payments.

How do I handle this??

my boyfriend had a much more expansive history with sex than i have, from hookups, to sex parties, to bulling hes done it all

hes the third guy ive ever been with

so i just honestly have little to no idea what i like/enjoy beyond the basics and would like to try new things with him

and its nothing wild, things i know (based on conversations had in the past) that hes done multiple times over in the past

but every time i ask about doing it, i never really get an answer? it kinda just becomes a thing of 'oh yeah sure maybe' and i never hear about it again

well today we had a conversation about trying some things, (bondage and butt stuff) and he ended up just saying, he doesnt want to do those things with me

and i dont have any plans on bringing them up again or offering

im just looking for advice on how to not take it personally

he said its because he 'felt safe enough to say no with me' but ive seen (while helping him transfer devices) old texts with hookups where he's asking for those things, like a lot

i can understand trying something and not enjoying it, no big deal

but i guess i cant wrap my head around asking for something, over and over and over again, but not liking it?

idk things like this make me worry it's something wrong with me, like im not good enough to be anything more than basic with sexually

has anyone else experienced this?

We’d spent six years saving for our first home. A few months ago, my husband joined a private Discord run by a crypto “millionaire” who convinced him to put our ENTIRE house deposit into a new coin before it “100x’d”

The project disappeared overnight. We lost nearly everything and now our landlord has suddenly told us he wants to sell the place we’re renting.

I don’t know anymore. I’ve been crying and swearing the whole fucking day.

edit: neither of us are worked up about it, I’m just curious to see what other people’s opinions are. :)

My husband and I work at the same company. What would you do if one of your female coworkers started dropping treats off at your husband’s desk?

Backstory: It’s a relatively small company, so everyone knows everyone. And before you say it, no, he’s not into her or having an affair lol. She’s relatively new (like been here 6mo). The company knows she likes to bake and she’s brought treats in for the office in the past, but a few times now she’s specifically left little mini treats on his desk. I’ve walked up to his desk before and she just leaves it on his desk before we both come in. She doesn’t leave a note, but we know it’s her. She brought him a mini cake once after his birthday, and then the following week she brought him a treat because she was “recipe testing.” But nobody else got one lol. She’s also offered him cookies from her lunch before.

He’s made comments about her treats being good, but everyone at the office offers compliments when she brings something in, so it’s not like he’s seeking it out. We both just think it’s weird and makes my husband uncomfortable. I personally think it’s disrespectful and inappropriate. I couldn’t imagine bringing in a treat specifically for another male coworker and leaving it on their desk lol. We haven’t said anything to her yet, but idk if I want to bring it up to HR or not.

ps. She’s also been married for 10 years

Last week I posted about my boyfriend not wanting to stay at a hotel my family and I were planning to stay at next month for an upcoming trip for my cousins marine corp graduation.

I spoke to him about it (as many of you suggested) and he simply said he doesn’t want my dad wasting money on a hotel when it’s a two hour drive from our home area. Even if my dad said it was alright, my boyfriend says he’d rather just wake up earlier and drive down to my cousins marine corp graduation that day rather than pack a bag and have my family spend money on an extra room for he and I. He said I’m more than free to go there with my family as planned but I’m glad we cleared the air.

If I’m being honest, I’m still somewhat sad that he isn’t staying with us as the whole family had planned to spend the evening at dinner and exploring the local area so I thought this was a good opportunity to make some memories.

Don’t think there’s anything I should do at this point. But thank you all for your input.

Previous post here :

https://www.reddit.com/r/WhatShouldIDo/comments/1umr5ce/comment/ovgv3d7/?screen_view_count=2&ext-referrer=DIRECT

My stepson has been home for about two weeks after being admitted. While working on getting him out, we worked with a family therapist to discuss expectations and I suspected he was just saying what he had to say to get out, not actually meaning what he said which turned out to be true.

They upped his prozac from 20MG to 40MG while admitted, and he is currently doing remote outpatient therapy for 9 hours a week, and weekly therapy.

Altercation yesterday - One of the expectations we have is to clean up after yourself. He is home all day, so obviously he has to eat. We ask that he washes any dishes he uses on top of taking care of his daily chores. So his dishes weren't done, per normal. My wife was home this time, when he came out to do his dishes, I told him he can do all of the dishes, that was a consequence of his action. Maybe I was in the wrong? I just expect him to be responsible he is almost 16 years old, I am gone for ~10 hours a day, no excuse to not wash a handful of dishes after eating.

He threw down the sponge, said I am not washing your dishes, he starts to walk away, I said don't get on your computer until you wash the dishes, he yells "I am not washing your fucking dishes" Then starts to come at me like he wants to fight me, my wife steps out and starts holding him back as he tries to get past her to get to me.

I am just standing there, as he is trying to push past her and get to me, she is screaming at him holding him back, then my 6 year old runs out crying thinking I was hurt or that my stepson hit me. I proceed to scream at them to get the fuck out, and I take my son into his room and lock the door, I can hear his heart racing, and I honestly still don't know how to process what happened. He doesn't feel safe, and I feel like we are getting nowhere in terms of a resolution or progress.

I hear my wife crying in the other room, trying to get through to him. He eventually comes out, and does the dishes. Then comes to my sons room, knocks on the door loudly, says I'm sorry but we ARE NOT LEAVING. I was still calm, said that isn't your decision. I told him he crossed a line, I asked do you know how your actions are impacting your brother? He proceeds to say "I don't care about how he feels". Then proceeds to walk away and blurted I think you need to shut the fuck up - Mind you this is the first time I have heard him swear.

I think it's blaringly obvious that he does not care about me, or his brother and it's time for them to go regardless of the financial disaster that may come as a result of this.

Also this happened in my kitchen and I have a video of the entire altercation again.

Hi! I’m not sure if this is the right sub. I’ve been a nurse for 15 years, and I’ve reached the point where I just want to quit before this career destroys me.

I love my job. I love taking care of people, but over the years, it has made me feel numb. I go home and still hear alarms in my head. I’m constantly exhausted. Maybe it’s burnout, but I’m done.

I want out. I don’t want to go back to school for an advanced practice role like a CRNA or NP. I don’t want any job in healthcare at all. I’m just finished with it.

I’m a 40-year-old single woman with no kids. I just want a less chaotic job.

Has anyone completely left healthcare and started over? What career did you pursue? I’m open to almost anything that doesn’t involve direct patient care. I’d love to hear from people who successfully made the transition. Thanks in advance.

Been with my husband for about 9 years. We have a son that is less than a year old. We live in an expensive area and work at the same place making more money than we would anywhere else in the state. Should be enough to live here comfortably despite the cost.

I’m in grad school and absolutely have to stay put for the next year at least. I can’t afford to live here on my own. If I left this city I would have to drop out of school which means I would have to restart the program completely when I went back. I need to finish school to make more money and get out of this job that I absolutely hate.

We can’t get kiddo into daycare right now and have to alternate care between the two of us. We have no family nearby to help.

His addiction to alcohol has caused a lot of issues and he has completely lost control. He is currently in rehab for the first time.

Now that he’s gone and I have had the chance to try to address some of the financial issues (he is also addicted to spending and even with us sitting down and making a budget together so he can see what we need to be spending where, he still spent $600+ on alcohol and other BS this pay period, which is a major improvement unfortunately), I have found out how bad he has screwed us over.

He has not been paying his car insurance which has been canceled, he has not updated his car registration in almost 2 years and his car will go unregistered as of August. I tried to address the registration issue but can’t because no insurance. Can’t get him insurance because his driving record in the last year is atrocious and he’s about to lose his license if he messes up even slightly. He has an unpaid ticket that is much more than we can afford.

Long story short, I am feeling incredibly defeated. The addictions have caused a lot of resentment and it’s not fair to me nor our son. I know that he’s in rehab right now but I am still feeling hopeless. I am having to also arrange the details of his leave of absence and what it has come down to is that he may not be getting any kind of pay while he is gone and I’m still having to fork out money for this rehab.

We have been negative by the time we get paid again every single time. I’m not a spender. I have no addictions. I forced him to go to rehab (he agreed it was time, it’s not like I gave an ultimatum) the moment I saw it was about to start impacting our son’s safety. I can’t trust him to safely watch the baby and I am about to start working 6-7 days a week when he gets back.

I arranged various coworkers and friends to help with baby care in the mean time but it’s not something I can sustain.

I feel completely hopeless and like I am about to lose everything because he couldn’t stop drinking and buying. I don’t want to let him know how bad it is while he’s getting help because I just want him to focus on getting better.

This sounds like he’s just an awful person, but he’s not. It really is the addiction. He’s the most kind person anyone could meet and people describe him as a “ray of sunshine”. He has so many artistic talents, he’s funny, incredibly attractive, we have a lot of shared interests, we are intellectually matched, and I want to spend my life with this person. But he’s not the same person when he’s in active addiction. He just sleeps, has no interest in doing anything with me, barely interacts with our son, makes really stupid decisions, compulsively eats all our groceries within a couple days after going to the store, and just generally becomes lost as a person.

He’s got a lot of extensive childhood trauma he’s been addressing in therapy for years and he’s been on large quantities of medication over the years to battle addiction and mental illness. I have been as supportive as I possibly can. During the pregnancy he got sober and maintained it for 11months and 2 weeks. This was wonderful and gave me a lot of hope.

I’m so sad for him. I’m sad for our son. I’m sad for me. He doesn’t want to be like this. He’s not a bad person. But I am trying to better myself for the both of us and he is so stuck in his addiction he has no aspirations in life and is really dragging us all into the dark pits of his depression and his choices are destroying our life.

I don’t know what to do. I just want things to be how they used to be. Before he started drinking and binge eating, and compulsively spending (yes he is diagnosed with bipolar 2, and medicated).

If I leave, this is almost worse, because I would have to move back home with my son and be a single parent (I would seek full custody), drop out of school (I’m not gonna lie, I think this would kill me), and probably lose all of my belongings including my car. I can’t afford it. But I also can’t afford him. I’m not religious but I am praying that rehab does something to fix this. Even if I don’t know how to fix the absolute mess he has made. I can’t even just sell the car, we owe too much on it.

I’ve started going to the food bank to feed us. This is humiliating not because it’s shameful to be down on your luck, but because I shouldn’t need it with how much we make together. Even on my own. I had to lie about our income to them because they would absolutely reject us. Despite our income, I can’t buy groceries that we need (or keep them in the house long enough because he can’t stop eating). I’ve stolen food from work and I’m nervous I’ll get caught. We have had to ask friends to buy us baby formula. I’ve cancelled a good chunk of our subscriptions. I removed our cards from his amazon account while he’s been away.

I love him, despite all this and it’s been really hard to have him so far away. I want my partner back.

What do I do?

TLDR: my partner of 9 years is addicted to alcohol, eating, and spending. He has created a mess I can’t fix that is ruining our lives. I love him, but he’s not him when he’s in active addiction. If I stay, he ruins us slowly. If I leave, it ruins me quickly and breaks my heart. He’s in rehab, but I’m still drowning and worried it won’t get better.

Posting for a friend. He is a kind person.

His wife moved out of state to have their son and stay at her parents house until she felt comfortable coming back. She never came back and its been years now. He found out she has a boyfriend and they are in the process of getting divorced. He visits a few times a year and facetimes a lot. He has been paying a set amount for child support and she gets tons of government assistance, doesn't pay rent or house hold bills as she lives with her parents. She works part time but her mom takes care of the child all the time.

So he pays a set amount of child support but she calls him up constantly and says the kid needs crocks (shoes), she is low on money, etc. He sends her money every time even if he is tight until payday. I tell him if you never let her suffer a little bit (go without her daily starbucks, she gets food stamps and her mom won't let them be hungry), she might budget better. Its really frustrating to hear constantly.

My bf recently told me is scared to commit fully to me and make things genuinely super serious as he is scared he is going to get with me then see someone better and want more. He said when he goes in public he finds lots of girls attractive and imagines being with them and that if he’s in a relationship he’s scared cause he can’t think that anymore and is scared there is going to be better. I do understand what he is saying and I bet he meant no harm but it kinda has put me down a lot 🥲 I cried after I don’t know why but it made me feel really like ugly and not good. He tells me all the time how I’m pretty and then he says this and I’m not so sure. I give him so so much and give him all the love my heart holds I try so hard to get him to want me and I’m so down that he thinks this in a way I have never once thought I could have better I loved him so much and even if there was a more attractive person it wouldn’t matter to me cause im already getting all I want from him…maybe I’m being dramatic or taking this the wrong way maybe someone here can help me see this as good or give me advice?

Also just sad as I sat crafting and painting him gifts yesterday and letter about how much I love him and I was so excited to give it to him :(

I rent an apartment in a multi family home. My only neighbors live above me, and also rent.

We noticed a leak in our living room ceiling and called our landlord, who would need to fix it. He asked us to check with our neighbors, and they’re nice people that we are friendly with, so we did.

They had potted plants in their living room that they were watering and didn’t realize those pots had holes in the bottom. This caused a pretty large puddle that caused our leak. They were very apologetic, but asked us to make up some other reason because the landlord is going to give them a hard time.

They are super nice people and have watched our cats while we were on vacation. I don’t have anything against them. I don’t want issues with them in the future. But I still think we (my husband and I, he’s the one talking to the landlord) should tell the truth.

My husband is conflicted and is very stressed now trying to come up with some alternate reason to save my neighbors from getting yelled at I guess. Our landlord has always been really nice to us but I can see him as the type to get angry when inconvenienced.

What should we do?

Edit: I convinced my husband to tell the truth. I’m not trying to have my landlord spend a bunch of money without a real reason when we know what caused the leak. I don’t need him to start feeling the need to recoup his losses through a higher rent for us. Thanks for the replies though!

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. He has never given me any reason to mistrust him and has only ever treated me well our entire relationship.

A few weeks ago, I picked up his phone to check the time and saw some Instagram notifications from an account I didn’t recognise. Confused, I clicked into the notifications. I found a fake account which he had been using to dm literally thousands of girls, asking for nude pictures over the past few months. From the looks of it, he messaged anyone and everyone, as long as they were female. The sheer volume of messages is not right. It seems compulsive. Some of them responded and sent them and he sent some back. Some of them spoke for a few weeks. He sent them pictures of his face, and gave them real details of his life. Comparing the time stamps on the messages, he would message me and then them within minutes of each other.

I confronted him about it and he immediately denied it at first. Later when we spoke, he admitted that he has been addicted to porn for our entire relationship on and off. He recently started watching it again and it quickly spiralled into him messaging girls. He swears it had nothing to do with me, that he simply couldn’t control it. I’m struggling to see how he could do something like that if he truly loved me like he said he does.

He said he had set a cut off, and if it happened again he was going to tell me, but I really struggle to believe this. He didn’t meet up with anyone in person, but he was purposely targeting people who were visiting his city, which makes me think it would have gotten to that point soon if I hadn’t have found the account…

He has reached out to a therapist and swears that he is committed to taking the steps to get better, he still wants a future with us. I just don’t know how I will ever trust him again, there were zero signs and I found the account by a fluke… is it possible to come back from this?

Is this something he will continue to suffer with for the rest of his life or is it possible to recover? Please help me…

Failed my drug test for thc but here me out, I stopped everything over 80 days, I’m overweight so I knew it would take longer to leave my system but gosh still pissed hot. The thing is they did a confirmatory test and dropped the cut off to 15 ng/ml. I was at 26 ng/ml (7/11/2026) I’m devastated because that’s below the initial 50 ng/ml cut off. I worked so hard to stay clean and to get into the program. I did drug tests at home but I guess them dropping the cut off really messed me up. I am so disappointed in myself. I still have been registered for classes and was able to pick clinical preferences. Of course I reached out about this but have not heard back other than general emails about the program. This was also my second attempt because my first one came out as dilute and they made me retest months later. I did the certo method and drank a bottle or two of water before my test the first time but I was still over 40 days clean. Anyways I just wanted to rant. I’m never touching anything ever again. This is so embarrassing and I can’t believe this may delay me from my goals. In a perfect world they will allow me to retest again because my levels are so low but I doubt it (still hope so but I’m in Texas and it seems strict af) 😭😭😭😭

TLDR: should I stop at my bf’s house to sneak in and give him a surprise sleepy BJ?
He works first shift and I’m finishing up second shift right now. (10:30p)
He had a nap today and it’ll only rob him of ~12-15min of sleep.
I will not be providing a “heads” up

So it’s a lot. I am 24F and my boyfriend is 25M. We have been together since January 1st 2024. I met my boyfriend just a few days out of an abusive relationship , I was so happy to have found someone that wasn’t a psycho path. So i basically clung to him. In the beginning of our relationship he recreationally took Percocets which I was fine with because he chalked it up to the equivalency of getting drunk with the boys. It was never a big deal, affected our relationship, or his life in any way in the beginning. Fast forward 10 months and I find out I’m
Pregnant so I raise my concerns about the drug habit. It had slowly became more frequent and I wanted reassurance this wasn’t an addiction and he was going to stop for his family. He told me once the baby was here it was no problem to stop. He always paid the bills and we lived fairly comfortably so it felt wrong to complain sometimes. He also let me stay at home during my pregnancy and until my baby was 7 months old. Once I had my baby I put my foot down and said I was done with it and he said he would completely stop. My baby is now almost 11 months old and he has only been hiding it from me now. I’ve found out he had a drug problem long before he met me and the problem was actually never “not a big deal” I was just ignorant. I do blame myself for basically allowing this addiction to go under my nose for so long and naively believing he could “just stop”. My father was an addict and so was my mother. I always told myself I would never be with someone like this. And in this economy being a single mother is horrifying. What should I do? Should I stay and keep working towards recovery with him? Or should I cut my loses now and tstart building a future for me and my daughter alone

Staying with my In-laws a few states away for just over a week. They are retired are do a very personal and important project on a laptop(I'm being intentionally vague here).

I have been doing a bit of over the phone tech support for them and planned on reinstalling Windows for them as they have some malware going on. Finished the job and was lightly monitoring Windows update. They went out of the house while this was happening.

Was sitting in a recliner when they come back and ask if it's ready. I say they are good to go and advise it's time to look at an upgrade(Celeron just can't keep up). He goes to hands me some cash and I wave my hands gesturing like get that away from while saying "No, no, no." They say "I want you to have it" and plant it in my hand.

It's not an amount that I think is a big deal to either of us but... I did not want to get paid for this. I would rather this go to their next computer and I know they are on a relatively fixed income.

I'm currently trying to think of ways to get it back to them without offending anymore. Should I just keep it? "Accidentally" leave it behind? Explain my position to the other spouse and try to give it back to them?

Hi everyone. I’m honestly just looking for advice because I feel completely lost and like I was thrown into adulthood overnight.

I recently turned 18, and shortly after my birthday I was kicked out of my grandmother’s house after being placed there under guardianship. The situation was complicated and happened very suddenly, and I ended up staying with a friend temporarily. I was later told that I could come stay with my dad, so he came and got me, but now that situation is becoming unstable too and I’m worried I may not have anywhere to go again.

I’m supposed to start college on August 20th at a university in Illinois. I already accepted my enrollment, have financial aid set up, and I’m planning to live on campus. I’m excited for school, but I’m scared because I don’t really have a safety net anymore.

I don’t have a car, I don’t have credit, and I don’t really know how to navigate being financially independent. I’m trying to figure out things like:

What do I do during winter/spring breaks if I don’t have a family home to return to?

• How do I become financially stable while being a full-time college student?

• How do I start building credit?

• How do people realistically save for a reliable car?

• Are there resources for students who don’t have family support?

I do have financial aid and I’m planning on looking for a campus job, but I’m overwhelmed trying to figure out everything at once.

My (24 F) bf (26 M) and I have been dating for 4 months. This is my first relationship. We knew each other for 8 months before we started dating (met as coworkers, he asked me out and I declined due to the unprofessional nature in the academic realm of dating between students working in the same lab, and said we could revisit in a while and he told me he was fine waiting). He and I are, in my mind, a great match and he has held me during some very hard periods of my life, even when we were just friends (I consider him to be the very best friend I have ever had). We said I love you about a month into dating.

This summer, he and I are in different states working at internships (he is about to get his master of science and I just started my master of science at my dream school). This is the first time we've lived apart (we don't live together, but we live within 40 minutes of each other), and he will be going to a doctoral program possibly out of the country in approximately a year.

One of the concerns that caused me to turn him down the first time he asked me out (I brought up the possibility of dating 4 months ago and he was still all for it) was the ability of us to balance our demanding academic lives and a relationship (he and I are the same science major which is considered to be one of the hardest majors out there). I am also still worried about the long distance part of it all, though I think what we have is worth fighting for.

A few weeks ago, he told me that he wanted to not call or text for a week because during the past couple of weeks of his internship, he hadn't made much progress. I agreed, finding the request strange and wondering why a good morning or goodnight text and a 5 minute phone call before bed would be so much effort, but whatever. It wasn't until I talked to a mutual friend (close to me but barely talks to him unless I'm around, but he's friends with my friends bf) that I realized how off of a request this was, and how I should have been alarmed to some extent. My bf has an underlying health condition that impacts his ability to function (autoimmune condition that I won't specify here to protect his privacy), so I'm sure this was hard for him too. What bothers me here is that his first solution to be distraction-free for a week was to cut contact with me altogether. Why not work out a compromise?

I feel this is one of those scenarios where he's just a stupid man who isn't utilizing 4 lobes of the brain lol, but I'm really bothered by this and need to tell him so. Any suggestions or advice are appreciated.

Note: My bf is possibly on the spectrum. Please be kind and keep that in mind here.

I’m a 22‑year‑old guy. A 4‑year relationship ended about a year ago. On the surface, I’ve made an effort to forget, knowing that I was partly the reason for the breakup because I got very distracted from my goals. I’ve also stayed out of contact with her and haven’t seen her for a year, even though we live in the same city and the same neighborhood. I’ve focused on my goals and studies, and I’ve decided not to enter any new romantic relationship because I want to direct my energy toward my future.

The problem is I still think about her a lot. Random memories, songs, places, and certain times of day bring her back to my mind. I don’t necessarily want her back, but the feelings are still strong enough to distract me and weaken my focus. I sometimes catch myself idealizing the past and wondering “what if?”

I’m not looking for answers like “time makes you forget” only; I want practical steps. Has anyone gone through a similar experience (long relationship, still stuck after a year)? What actually helped you:

• Therapy or specific methods (like CBT, journaling, etc.)?
• Major life changes (moving to another city, a new routine, travel)?
• Allowing yourself to grieve in a conscious way instead of “forcing” yourself to get over it?

Also, is it normal and healthy to stay single for a while and focus on my goals, or can that sometimes make moving on harder because I’m not starting a new emotional chapter?

Any advice, personal stories, or even things I might be doing wrong without realizing would be very helpful. Thanks for reading.

I don't know if I should keep trying to save this friendship or accept that I've been taken advantage of.

I'm a 25-year-old woman, and I honestly don't know whether I'm being too emotional or whether my trust has been completely broken. I'm hoping to get some unbiased opinions because everyone around me seems to have a different perspective.

I have a very close friend who's about 7–8 years older than me. We met during engineering, and the three of us—me, another female friend, and him—have always been a close-knit group. I always saw him as an elder brother rather than just a friend. We spoke often, met for lunch or dinner whenever we could, shared our personal struggles, and our families know each other as well. He was someone I trusted without a second thought.

A few months ago, I bought my first house. It's nothing extravagant, but it meant a lot to me because I've worked hard for it. I wanted to finish the interiors, have a small housewarming, and get everything settled before I hopefully get married next year. While discussing my finances with him, I mentioned that I needed some additional money beyond what my home loan covered. I initially asked whether he could help me with ₹12 lakhs. Instead, he said, "I'll give you ₹15 lakhs." He kept reassuring me that I didn't need to worry, that he'd always be there for me, and that we were family. Since he had recently bought a house himself, I trusted what he was saying.

Around the same time, he borrowed money from me on three separate occasions. The first time it was ₹20,000, then ₹40,000, and finally ₹50,000. Every single time he said it was urgent and promised to return it quickly. The first two amounts did come back eventually, but only after I reminded him multiple times. When he asked for the ₹50,000, he told me he urgently needed it to clear some dues and that he'd return it once his salary was credited the following week. Even though I wasn't exactly in a comfortable financial position myself, I transferred the money immediately because I trusted him completely. I didn't even think twice.

Then came the time when I actually needed the ₹15 lakhs he had promised me.

That's when everything changed.

Every time I asked about the transfer, there was a new reason. One day it was, "I'll send it today." The next day it became, "Tomorrow for sure." Then it was, "Give me two more days." This went on for weeks. Eventually he told me that his father needed emergency surgery and that there were serious family issues. I completely understood that emergencies happen, and I genuinely sympathised with him.

What hurt wasn't that he had family problems. What hurt was that even after I gave him several opportunities to be honest with me, he still kept making promises instead of simply telling me he couldn't help.

I even called him one day and said, "If you're not in a position to help anymore, that's completely okay. Just tell me now so I can arrange the money elsewhere." I wasn't angry. I wasn't demanding anything. I just needed clarity because my builder was waiting for payment, my interior work depended on it, and I had deadlines to meet.

Instead of being honest, he once again reassured me. He told me not to worry and that he'd process the transfer that very day. I remember literally waiting for the bank notification, checking my phone every few minutes, believing that the money was finally on its way. Nothing came. When I asked for a transfer receipt, there was no reply. The next day, when I managed to get through to him, he said he was at the hospital.

This cycle repeated itself over and over again.

Because I believed his promises, I delayed making alternative arrangements. Eventually I couldn't pay my builder on time, my interior work came to a standstill, and the plans I'd carefully made for my house completely fell apart. I'm not eligible for a top-up loan, and I didn't want to put additional financial pressure on my parents after everything they've already done for me.

The part that hurts the most is that while I was left waiting, he still hadn't returned the ₹50,000 I had lent him. It's now been almost two months. That amount is significant to me. I work hard, I have EMIs to pay, and every rupee matters. Whenever he needed help, I never made him chase me. I transferred the money immediately because that's what I thought friends—more importantly, family—did for each other.

Over time he also stopped replying to my messages and stopped answering my calls. The one time I called because I was genuinely overwhelmed and didn't know what else to do, he was unexpectedly rude. Since our families know each other, my parents even suggested visiting his parents to check on his father's health after the surgery. His response was simply, "Don't come to my house."

That honestly broke something inside me.

I still don't even know how his father is doing because communication has almost completely stopped. Recently, our mutual friend finally got a brief reply from him saying he was busy taking care of his father and was staying in his hometown. When I told her everything that had happened, she tried to reassure me and suggested that maybe he's genuinely going through a difficult phase. I understand that possibility. Life happens, and family emergencies are real.

But am I wrong for feeling that none of this excuses weeks of false promises?

If he couldn't help, one honest message saying, "I'm sorry, I can't do it," would have saved me months of stress. Instead, I built my financial plans around promises that never materialised.

At this point, I honestly don't know what hurts more—the money or losing someone I genuinely considered an elder brother.

I'm also conflicted about my other friend. Maybe she's genuinely trying to see both sides. Maybe she's right. Or maybe I'm the only one who's expected to understand everyone else's situation while nobody understands mine. I don't know anymore.

All I know is that my ₹50,000 is still with him, my house plans have been delayed, and my trust in someone I loved like family has completely fallen apart.

So I'd really appreciate some outside opinions.

Am I being unreasonable for expecting basic honesty?

Should I continue trying to contact him and ask for my money back, or should I accept that this friendship is over?

Would you go to his house if you were in my position, or would you leave it alone?

And finally... if someone repeatedly promises help, watches you make important life decisions based on those promises, and then disappears without giving you a straight answer—would you ever trust that person again?

Hey guys! I need help making a decision. Hi I am 22 (f) and I have a friend that is having a baby shower at the end of August. A part of me wants to go to support her and be there for her, but there are also a lot of other reasons for me not to go. Firstly, she was my best friend for 3 years but in the last 6 months we have barely been talking because of her being a bad friend. Also her baby shower is over 2 hours away from me, I have to use my dad’s car, and it’s a really short baby shower. Plus since our falling out I feel really awkward to be there and I’m still upset at her for everything that happened at the end of our friendship. If you guys want more details let me know. I don’t know what I should do. Should I go to my ex best friends baby shower or no? And if I don’t AITA?

I met Emma on Hinge. We got along really well, and I told her I prefer to take things slow because I'd rather have a stable foundation for romance to avoid burning up too fast. I also don't like to rush into relationships because I want to be sure we are compatible on all of the basic subjects that often end relationships. I was not very forward with my advances, and we were just friends for a while, but I did realize I was developing feelings. So, one day I told her, and she told me that she was not sure it was worth it because it could cause problems with the friend group. So, I took this as a rejection and tried to move on. I started talking to some other people, went on maybe 2 dates, but I realized straight away that they wouldn't go anywhere because we disagreed on fundamental things like religion (I am not religious, and they were, and suggested I go to church with them).

However, during this time, her adoptive mom kept in touch with me and said she never saw her be as connected to a guy the way she was with me and that she was just confused and to give her time. So that's what I did; she reached out a few times, and we hung out, and I helped her move into her new home.

However, during that time, someone she used to talk to reached out because he was visiting, and they hung out and dated for a week while he was here, and then he left, and she said she didn't want a relationship, apparently. But he did not take it well and found my social media since I had met him before, and he asked me if I think she would be loyal in a relationship and a bunch of other stuff about how he thought he would wife her up, but he wasn't sure. I was taken aback because I barely knew him, and he kept asking me if I had anything with her. My name came up a lot when they talked, so he felt like I was interested in her. I showed her the messages and told her it was uncomfortable to be reached out to like this. She had a conversation with him and apparently broke things off with him for good, and they blocked each other.

That same night, we drank and ended up hooking up. We woke up and said we didn't regret it, but it was out of nowhere since we hadn't even kissed till that point and were just friends. We ended up hooking up that night again sober, and again it felt great. But we had a conversation and agreed we were confused, emotional, and moved fast. We didn't know what we were doing or how to feel, so we agreed to take some time without talking to each other.

That lasted a week, until her mom invited me for a weekend BBQ. We ended up hooking up again, and I've driven over every weekend since then, and we have hooked up and gone on dates while I'm there for the whole weekend. We cuddle for most of the time, and I was the first person she actually had sex with. She's been pretty open about herself and told me about some really bad childhood trauma involving Family-SA. She's asked me what I think love is and how I know if I am in love, and I told her the older I've gotten, the more I realize it's someone who makes me feel safe and secure and doesn't try to play games with me or berate me for being myself. Someone who I can be authentic with and enjoy even mundane moments with. She laughed and gave me a bunch of little forehead kisses. Before this, she told me that she doesn't really understand her feelings for me; she has unresolved trauma and avoidant attachment issues, and that her brain plays tricks on her, so she doesn't know how to feel. But the idea of being anyone's gf officially is overwhelming to her. So, we agreed to just be exclusive, and she said she would go to therapy. I told her that I've done it before and it helped me deal with some of my unresolved issues in the past, but I don't want her to think I am forcing her to do it just to be with me. She told me she basically had a really bad first relationship, but he treated her badly, so subconsciously she thinks she's now attracted to being treated terribly, but I don't treat her terribly, and I don't seem to have ulterior motives. I don't do things to spite her; I communicate to avoid confusion, and that confuses her brain.

We haven't brought up commitment since then, but she has expressed wanting to travel together next year, and she's met my family over the phone, and we discussed her coming to my hometown to meet them.

Question: How long should I wait before deciding that I can't continue this arrangement and deserve someone ready for the commitment I want? Also, has anyone been in a similar situation where the person actually was able to figure this out?