Sorry for the long post but I'm in dire straits
Ok so I'm 21 and my parents were upset that I'm making plans with my gf for our future(for context, we come from an extremely conservative religious background where you have to get engaged to get know a person with the parents' approval) and they talked to me and had a huge fight how we can't be together right now or in the near foreseeable future and we shouldn't talk and just stick to and focus on my college.

We didn't and i tried to practically convince them how it was possible, I found a cool job (tangential and not really relevant to my major) but I liked it, pays decently and has a lot of upside. Another fight ensued where my dad said that I'm never present and always outside the house and he knew that me and my gf were till talking and he nor my mom approve of this and won't allow it and basically rejected her and said that they won't have her in our lives and it was either us or her.

Broken by this, I said I'll try to be more present but please let me work and how important this is to my future and he wouldn't accept unless if i don't talk to her, I told him that we wouldn't talk. I wanted the heat to die down and told my gf so and we cut back on talking. Obviously we couldn't stop. And the thing is her parents are extremely sweet and they literally don't want anything but my parents are in complete refusal and saying that I'm selfish and only care about myself and would throw them away in a nursery if i had the chance.

Now a couple of weeks ago my dad opened my phone and found that we were still talking and ever since then my mom ad dad have been threatening me with their own health and death if i don't leave her forever saying they will never agree to this and never want to meet her. That I'm a selfish bastard, a liar, a cheat, a fucking oath breaker and not a 'man' and that i'm untrustworthy.

They've driven an ultimatum where if I step foot out of the house they will never have me or respond to my calls or texts and that "we may be of no use to you but at least let us live for your sister" My mom literally agrees and supports this blackmail and negligence for one's own life and is doing so too, saying that i "have to choose" and leave her and leave my job.

The problem is both their health can't handle this strain, my mom was really tired and for two days I had to be with her and she is just begging me to just heed what they're saying and again my sister still needs them and that I'm destroying all their lives.

so now I'm trapped in this house and my dad has taken away all electronic devices from our house and I can't reach anyone I snuck to the family computer to post this and before I was able to sneak past a couple of emails to people I know and under threat an email to my employer that i cant continue working there.

My friend has actually spoken to my employer and surprisingly they won't fire me after my weird abrupt disppearence and they actually want to help. My gf doesn't know the exact circumstances but is praying for me. I literally don't know what to do and I feel like my life is literally a trolley problem and I just want everything to end.

Hey everyone,

I'm a virgin and have never had a boyfriend. I’ve been masturbating for years, but I exclusively prefer non-penetrative external stimulation—inserting anything.
What confuses me is my attraction to women. When I’m turned on, I find women extremely attractive and sexually appealing. But as soon as that state passes, or when I think about real life, I can’t imagine ever dating, being in a relationship with, or marrying a woman. Romantically, I only see myself with men.
I’m feeling a bit confused about how to process this. Is there a term for experiencing sexual attraction/arousal towards women only in specific moments, while being exclusively heteroromantic? Has anyone else experienced something similar?

Hi im 21m, my sister is 25f and her boyfriend is 27m. They’ve been together 3 years, and up until recently everyone thought he was this chill, great guymy sister absolutely adores him. But things changed after I came out last year.

He started acting really weird and inappropriate. He’s made comments saying I’m cute and hot i thought he was joking, and last week he straight up said he “chose the wrong sibling” out of nowhere, then hugged me. I hugged back at first because I was totally caught off guard and didn’t know what else to do, but he tried to hold onto me way longer than was okay. I managed to push him away. Right after that he told me not to say anything to my sister and to just forget the whole thing ever happened he said just don't tell her ok please don't.

I know I should tell her the truth, but I’m terrified. He’s a much bigger guy than me and I’m worried how he’ll react or if he’ll get angry with me. I also hate the thought of hurting my sister or ruining what she thinks they have, but keeping this secret feels wrong too and I feel really uncomfortable whenever he’s around now. I don’t know if he’s bi or what his deal is, but none of this was okay.

Does anyone have advice on how to handle this safely? How do I tell her safely.

My husband “surprised” me by buying a $65k fishing boat because he claimed it was a “once in a lifetime deal”. I had no idea he’d taken a loan out for it until our mortgage payment bounced this month.

He insists he’ll make the money back through charter fishing on weekends, but he doesn’t even have any clients lined up. Meanwhile we’re behind in bills and our savings are almost gone trying to keep up with our loan payments.

How do I handle this??

I’m just…at a loss. My life has been slowly going downhill for the past 3 years. Every time I think things are getting better, they just get worse. I’m in my 30s, I’m a woman, and I feel like I’m miles behind where my friends are. I’ve been dealing with health issues and mental health issues that I’ve only just gotten diagnosed. So now that my life is a disaster, I’m finally able to analyze how tf I got here. But I can’t figure out how to get out! My credit is shit, I’m in severe debt, I’m facing eviction, my relationship with my partner is horrendous. I’ve tried breaking up with him twice in the past 2 weeks and I’m too chicken shit to actually kick him out (well we’ll be kicked out soon anyway if I can’t fight the eviction). I lost a job 2 years ago (physical health impacted my work and I didn’t get the help I needed because my mental health kept me in denial). That threw me into a severe depression, worse than when I was working. Now I just lost my last job 3 weeks ago, and that job was AWFUL!! My bosses discriminated against me, lied about me, constantly spoke down to me in public and spoke badly about me to my employees, manipulated me to get things done just to throw me under the bus when they didn’t work out, I mean it was a job from hell. So going from getting fired, severe depression, and then straight into a job from Hell (that literally had me experience psychotic episodes, I wish I was kidding). Just…what do I do? How do I get out of this? How do I turn my life around? How do I get rid of this man in my house? Please help.

I don’t know how to word this to be honest, but I think I just don’t feel it anymore. I don’t really care if he texts or calls me. I don’t really feel like I need to talk to him anymore. Sure, it’s nice to have someone to talk to, but I’m just over it. I guess I don’t know if this is normal since this is my first relationship, and we’ve been together for a couple of years and friends for longer, but I feel like we’re growing apart, and I don’t know if I want to fix that. I’m okay if he just fades away and grows as a person because he is honestly a great guy, but I don’t know. He hasn’t done anything wrong. I’m just being weird, and I have a tendency to be impulsive, and I would hate to be like, “Okay, I don’t want to be together anymore,” and a couple of weeks later, I regret it horribly, yk? And then things will be awkward since we’re going to college together soon, which in itself is a thing because I am incredibly anxious to the point where I’m overwhelmed by everything and second-guessing if I should even go to college, and every time I bring this up to him, it’s like he gets annoyed or just over me bringing it up, which I will say I have been bringing it up a lot, but in my defense, this is the biggest change I’ve ever been through, and it’s just so much to wrap my head around, and I don’t even think I’m ready. I’m just so scared that if I don’t go, I will never go. But back to the main thing, I feel like I’ve gotten so comfortable with him in my life that it’ll be such a big thing for him not to be there. I guess I’m emotionally attached or something, but it’s so weird because a couple of weeks ago, I was so obsessed with being texted back and that he was with friends and wouldn’t be giving me attention(he’d be out for hours upon hours with as little as a text saying, “Hey, I love you. I’m going to be out for a little longer…etc.) but now I don’t care. I guess it’s just so weird to think about. Like, I don’t feel anything when he kisses me. It honestly feels like a chore when he hugs me. It feels nice, but I don’t care about the emotional side of things, and I don’t know if that makes me a terrible person for just not feeling anything anymore. And I’m just looking for guidance here. I get it if my feelings make me a terrible person. I feel terrible right now, and idk, I’d rather get outside opinions from people who have probably been in way more relationships than I rather than staying and possibly leading him on.

19F. I’m at home from college for summer break right now, taking part time classes.

My dad never had the money for sports extracurriculars so he’s forced my brother and I into them regardless of what we say. I don’t enjoy it and it eats up so much time out of my day. I have to skip my own personal gym time 3 times per week just to make time for tennis practice with a random guy my dad hired. I’ve expressed my anger about this multiple times with my dad, but he pays my college tuition currently and that is an opportunity I don’t want to lose. I go to a top university with high tuition.

This instructor is weird. He was fine the first few times but over the last few weeks he’s made multiple comments saying my leggings look better on me than my sweatpants, and that I should start wearing shorts because it’s so hot outside (I don’t like wearing shorts). He also pressures me in for a hug after every session and pushes my chest up against him. It is not too bad but I am a passive person and I’m nervous being alone with this guy several times a week.

My dad thinks I’m lying since I’ve complained so much over the last few years about the random sports I’ve been put in. I don’t know what to do without risking my tuition.

I was only there for 2 days (it’s a tea shop btw) and I was doing as much as possibly without being in the way. I wasn’t allowed to do much like register or make the drinks, but I was cleaning, helping organize, and just really trying to prove that I’m a good fit.

Customer rapport was a big deal at this job as well and I’ve lived in this place my whole life and luckily don’t have much social anxiety so I find it pretty easy to talk to others.

I often pride myself in my work ethic and I know I can be a great worker, but I just don’t understand what went wrong? I don’t even know how to respond to such a thing…

We’d spent six years saving for our first home. A few months ago, my husband joined a private Discord run by a crypto “millionaire” who convinced him to put our ENTIRE house deposit into a new coin before it “100x’d”

The project disappeared overnight. We lost nearly everything and now our landlord has suddenly told us he wants to sell the place we’re renting.

I don’t know anymore. I’ve been crying and swearing the whole fucking day.

Hi!!

So my [22F] friend invited me and another of our friends to sleep at her house over the weekend. I happily agreed, but then I found out there’s a disco night I’ve been wanting to attend for a long time at the same time.

As we’ll be hanging out at 6PM (and the event starts at 11PM) I invited them to come with me and see what they thought about it! But they think it’s a better idea to stay home cause it’s really not their scene.

We’re going to be together all day Sunday, so I’m thinking maybe I could hang out with them from 6PM to 12AM, go to to the disco, and come back the next morning for breakfast and the rest of our plans.

But would you think that’s rude if I leave the sleepover early and go to the disco? I don’t want her to feel sidelined. is it a better idea to skip it out entirely?

I know this is silly, but thanks for hearing me out!!

Last week I posted about my boyfriend not wanting to stay at a hotel my family and I were planning to stay at next month for an upcoming trip for my cousins marine corp graduation.

I spoke to him about it (as many of you suggested) and he simply said he doesn’t want my dad wasting money on a hotel when it’s a two hour drive from our home area. Even if my dad said it was alright, my boyfriend says he’d rather just wake up earlier and drive down to my cousins marine corp graduation that day rather than pack a bag and have my family spend money on an extra room for he and I. He said I’m more than free to go there with my family as planned but I’m glad we cleared the air.

If I’m being honest, I’m still somewhat sad that he isn’t staying with us as the whole family had planned to spend the evening at dinner and exploring the local area so I thought this was a good opportunity to make some memories.

Don’t think there’s anything I should do at this point. But thank you all for your input.

i’m going through a very long and hard “phase”. it sends to me its not just a phase and its just how my life is now. i haven’t left my house once in almost 2 years because i had to repeat a year in school because of too many absences. ive always hated school, i just dont have the brain for it, ive always been a failure when it came to school. as you can see, even most of my commas are placed wrong…
there was only one subject that i somewhat enjoyed from 8th grade, english, because i just enjoyed the english movies and videogames. ive never ever had an actual good beat friend with whom i could tell anything and just be my support. i consider myself unattractive from the experiences i had so far, im poor class, never got to enjoy a new toy that just cane out. i lack academic intelligence, im naive when it comes to interracting with people, especially ones i just met, im very lonely and the feeling can get very heavy sometimes. i did meet a girl on discord with whom i became, id say, pretty close…but we are very much not alike and i still cant just get over this whole situation with her. now shes very distant and it really crushes me, i attach very strong to people, especially her, since we would talk all day every day. she helped me get through 9 months of these crushing 2 yeas of pause. long story short, we re just not compatible and we have different expectations in uhm…things. we were doing very romantic things almost since we met, tho we re not a couple, she lives in the usa and i live in romania. still, i can’t get past of how she just shows much less interest in talking to me, she was not like this at all, we woukd talk literally every day and night and now she says she “forgot” to reply to me because she went scrolling…shucks, really ouch. this makes me cry pretty frequently and the cherry on top is that she knows about my situation and how i havent left home, i do NOT want to go through all of this with someone else and tell them everything about me from 0, even tho i know we will never be together. im not diagnosed but from what ive experience it seems i have severe social anxiety, i cant even take a pizza order or talk on the phone to anyone except my family. i was thinking of taking those pills that make you not feel anything or something like that? im wondering if i should just commit or continue living through this hell. if anyone still reads, please help me, give me an advice that will help me or anything helpful, please

Hi, I'm Love.
I've been in a relationship for almost a year, and to be honest, it hasn't been a smooth one.
Even before we reached our first anniversary, there were already several incidents that I considered cheating. Although he never met these girls in person and it was mostly through chats, it was still cheating for me. I caught him twice on different social media platforms messaging other girls, sending them "hi" and flirting. His excuse was always that he was drunk, so I chose to forgive him because he promised it would never happen again.
Before this relationship, I had already been cheated on by my ex, so infidelity is something that deeply traumatized me. I told my current boyfriend about my past and how much cheating affects me, hoping he would understand and never put me through the same pain. Unfortunately, it still happened.
Just before our first anniversary, my boyfriend's brother's ex-girlfriend messaged me. She told me she had found out that my boyfriend had been talking to and flirting with his own ex. Since my boyfriend's ex and his brother's ex were friends, they were still in contact, and my boyfriend's ex had shared everything with her. She even sent me screenshots of their conversations.
When I confronted my boyfriend, he simply told me, "She's just trying to ruin our relationship. There's nothing going on anymore." I couldn't accept that explanation because the evidence was right in front of me. I decided to end the relationship.
After about a month apart, we decided to give our relationship another chance. However, I made it clear that there would be conditions. There could be no more cheating. I also asked him to stop drinking because his alcohol consumption was becoming excessive, and he had also developed a gambling habit. I wanted him to change not only for our relationship but also for himself.
Sadly, those promises didn't last either.
One day, he told me he would be coming home late because he had to work overtime. Later, I found out that he had actually gone drinking instead. That night, he got into an accident, and I received a call from the hospital.
Despite everything I had been through because of him, I still rushed to the hospital. I stayed by his side, helped process his documents, gathered his IDs, and contacted his relatives to inform them about what had happened.
While doing all of that, I had to use his phone. That's when I discovered that he was still actively involved in gambling, and to make things worse, he still had a dating app installed.
At that moment, I didn't know what to do. I was hurt, angry, and betrayed all over again, but I also couldn't ignore the fact that he was lying in a hospital bed. I felt completely torn between caring for someone I loved and facing the painful reality that he had continued to break every promise he made to me.

My bf recently told me is scared to commit fully to me and make things genuinely super serious as he is scared he is going to get with me then see someone better and want more. He said when he goes in public he finds lots of girls attractive and imagines being with them and that if he’s in a relationship he’s scared cause he can’t think that anymore and is scared there is going to be better. I do understand what he is saying and I bet he meant no harm but it kinda has put me down a lot 🥲 I cried after I don’t know why but it made me feel really like ugly and not good. He tells me all the time how I’m pretty and then he says this and I’m not so sure. I give him so so much and give him all the love my heart holds I try so hard to get him to want me and I’m so down that he thinks this in a way I have never once thought I could have better I loved him so much and even if there was a more attractive person it wouldn’t matter to me cause im already getting all I want from him…maybe I’m being dramatic or taking this the wrong way maybe someone here can help me see this as good or give me advice?

Also just sad as I sat crafting and painting him gifts yesterday and letter about how much I love him and I was so excited to give it to him :(

Under customary law we are being taught about indigenous values/beliefs (imma just call it VB for short) and their impacts on the legal / courts.

The lecturer who’s teaching us is lovely and they’re obviously qualified to teach us, but they aren’t indigenous (but they have indigenous children) and because they aren’t indigenous to my country there’s many aspects of the VB that they don’t fully understand, as well as them accidentally mispronouncing the words. This is a big deal because even the slight mispronouncing of a word can change the sentences meaning. Because I’m indigenous i understand what they’re trying to say, but sometimes I have to reexplain to my peers what they meant.

Me and my fellow indigenous peers noticed this and are concerned that there’s 400 students being misinformed, and for some students that’s their first exposure to indigenous language and VB, and since we all want to be lawyers, judges, etc, it’s harmful if people are getting a not so accurate account for our VB. There’s also a ton of non indigenous students trying to correct indigenous students on our VB, which yk is beyond the lecturers control, but something in the recipe has gone wrong, and as a collective, us indigenous students and our lecturer need to find out what the root cause is so it can be corrected.

Me and a few indigenous peers are planning on talking to our lecturer about this, but we don’t want to make them feel ashamed. For a non indigenous person they’re doing amazing but that’s mostly because I’m indigenous and can understand what they’re trying to say, but there are certain things you can only properly explain if you’ve grown up in it, and it can be harmful when it’s 500 students being miseducated

Long story short, my husband and I have had a very rocky relationship from day 1 basically. Just a couple years ago he asked me for a paternity test for our kids because i didn't tell him i gave away free formula when we had like no money cause he quit his 6 figure job to start his own business and brought home nothing (i was making 55k at the time and we had a 2 year old and a new born and had way too may bills and daycare to pay for so my salary definitely wasn't cutting it) and if I lied to him about giving away formula then what else could i lie to him about?

Fast forward to now, my mom told me today that they're cutting me (and my brother but that's a totally different situation - he never calls them or visits and is an ass to them basically, whereas I help them out, visit and call often, etc) out of their will because I haven't divorced my husband yet and because we decided to send my daughter to an advanced academy which is through the public school system but you have to test to get in, they don't let just anyone go to these schools for school (which is free from kindergarten through 12th grade) instead of a Catholic school (where we live the public school system is a joke so you're almost forced to go to a Catholic school if you want a good education). They do help me out with my kids a lot so that's why I don't know if I should let it go that they're cutting me out of anything when they pass (which I'm not waiting for or hoping for) or if I should pull back and basically tell them I don't need their help anymore if they're just gonna cut me out for not listening to their opinions and doing what they want me to do, not what I fell or think is best for myself and my children.

Earlier this year I (33f) was asked to model for a social media campaign for a charity cause that I strongly believe in. I was happy to help out.

The photos were nude silhouettes, using artistic angles and my face concealed. I had never modeled for anything like this so it was a new experience - the photographer had two assistants, and the lighting and make up (and body oil!) were all very professionally done.

It was an extremely liberating and empowering experience being the focus of an artistic exercise like that. I posed on a pedestal elevated above the photographer and his assistants, and while I was a bit modest about being naked at first, I felt like I leaned into it and experienced a feminine power and energy I hadn’t felt before.

I was asked to pose again for a second campaign and I am looking forward to experiencing it again. My husband is very supportive and asked whether he’d be able to attend the shoot. I love his support but I have mixed feelings about him being there! I just wonder if it would change the dynamic and energy knowing he’s in the room, wondering what he is thinking.

I’m leaning against having him there, but would it be odd to ask him not to go?

So me (F) and my boyfriend let’s say Stomach (M obviously) have been dating for a year and I have been best-friends with my friend for about two we’ll say her name is Belly (F.) I’ve always thought of Belly as an option, but it’s always been like “oh she’s my friend above partner.” She’s cool with my boyfriend and jokes “you should dump him for me” all the time. I’ve thought of polyamory, but shes lesbian and wouldn’t date a man. And idk if she’d want to date me either

Why I thought of this was because she got a girlfriend months ago and her girlfriend cheated on her, all I thought was “I could be a better partner” and I’ve been thinking about it over and over since.

Belly is really cool and so is Stomach, to clarify I would never break up with Stomach for anyone I truly love him. Idk what to do should I just ignore the feeling?

Been with my husband for about 9 years. We have a son that is less than a year old. We live in an expensive area and work at the same place making more money than we would anywhere else in the state. Should be enough to live here comfortably despite the cost.

I’m in grad school and absolutely have to stay put for the next year at least. I can’t afford to live here on my own. If I left this city I would have to drop out of school which means I would have to restart the program completely when I went back. I need to finish school to make more money and get out of this job that I absolutely hate.

We can’t get kiddo into daycare right now and have to alternate care between the two of us. We have no family nearby to help.

His addiction to alcohol has caused a lot of issues and he has completely lost control. He is currently in rehab for the first time.

Now that he’s gone and I have had the chance to try to address some of the financial issues (he is also addicted to spending and even with us sitting down and making a budget together so he can see what we need to be spending where, he still spent $600+ on alcohol and other BS this pay period, which is a major improvement unfortunately), I have found out how bad he has screwed us over.

He has not been paying his car insurance which has been canceled, he has not updated his car registration in almost 2 years and his car will go unregistered as of August. I tried to address the registration issue but can’t because no insurance. Can’t get him insurance because his driving record in the last year is atrocious and he’s about to lose his license if he messes up even slightly. He has an unpaid ticket that is much more than we can afford.

Long story short, I am feeling incredibly defeated. The addictions have caused a lot of resentment and it’s not fair to me nor our son. I know that he’s in rehab right now but I am still feeling hopeless. I am having to also arrange the details of his leave of absence and what it has come down to is that he may not be getting any kind of pay while he is gone and I’m still having to fork out money for this rehab.

We have been negative by the time we get paid again every single time. I’m not a spender. I have no addictions. I forced him to go to rehab (he agreed it was time, it’s not like I gave an ultimatum) the moment I saw it was about to start impacting our son’s safety. I can’t trust him to safely watch the baby and I am about to start working 6-7 days a week when he gets back.

I arranged various coworkers and friends to help with baby care in the mean time but it’s not something I can sustain.

I feel completely hopeless and like I am about to lose everything because he couldn’t stop drinking and buying. I don’t want to let him know how bad it is while he’s getting help because I just want him to focus on getting better.

This sounds like he’s just an awful person, but he’s not. It really is the addiction. He’s the most kind person anyone could meet and people describe him as a “ray of sunshine”. He has so many artistic talents, he’s funny, incredibly attractive, we have a lot of shared interests, we are intellectually matched, and I want to spend my life with this person. But he’s not the same person when he’s in active addiction. He just sleeps, has no interest in doing anything with me, barely interacts with our son, makes really stupid decisions, compulsively eats all our groceries within a couple days after going to the store, and just generally becomes lost as a person.

He’s got a lot of extensive childhood trauma he’s been addressing in therapy for years and he’s been on large quantities of medication over the years to battle addiction and mental illness. I have been as supportive as I possibly can. During the pregnancy he got sober and maintained it for 11months and 2 weeks. This was wonderful and gave me a lot of hope.

I’m so sad for him. I’m sad for our son. I’m sad for me. He doesn’t want to be like this. He’s not a bad person. But I am trying to better myself for the both of us and he is so stuck in his addiction he has no aspirations in life and is really dragging us all into the dark pits of his depression and his choices are destroying our life.

I don’t know what to do. I just want things to be how they used to be. Before he started drinking and binge eating, and compulsively spending (yes he is diagnosed with bipolar 2, and medicated).

If I leave, this is almost worse, because I would have to move back home with my son and be a single parent (I would seek full custody), drop out of school (I’m not gonna lie, I think this would kill me), and probably lose all of my belongings including my car. I can’t afford it. But I also can’t afford him. I’m not religious but I am praying that rehab does something to fix this. Even if I don’t know how to fix the absolute mess he has made. I can’t even just sell the car, we owe too much on it.

I’ve started going to the food bank to feed us. This is humiliating not because it’s shameful to be down on your luck, but because I shouldn’t need it with how much we make together. Even on my own. I had to lie about our income to them because they would absolutely reject us. Despite our income, I can’t buy groceries that we need (or keep them in the house long enough because he can’t stop eating). I’ve stolen food from work and I’m nervous I’ll get caught. We have had to ask friends to buy us baby formula. I’ve cancelled a good chunk of our subscriptions. I removed our cards from his amazon account while he’s been away.

I love him, despite all this and it’s been really hard to have him so far away. I want my partner back.

What do I do?

TLDR: my partner of 9 years is addicted to alcohol, eating, and spending. He has created a mess I can’t fix that is ruining our lives. I love him, but he’s not him when he’s in active addiction. If I stay, he ruins us slowly. If I leave, it ruins me quickly and breaks my heart. He’s in rehab, but I’m still drowning and worried it won’t get better.

so i’ve been smoking for about 2-3 years consistently everyday pretty much. I’m getting drug tested around august 15-16. if i stop smoking today or tomorrow do we think i could be clean by then? i have to pee in front of my mom so it’s no use to use fake pee, is there something i can drink to make it pass?