My fiancé and I have been together for five years and our wedding is planned for six weeks from now.
A few days ago, my best friend told me she thought she saw his profile on a dating app. I honestly didn’t believe her because he’s never given me a reason to doubt him.

After arguing with myself for hours, I decided to make a fake profile just to see if it was actually him.
I wasn’t even expecting to find anything.
Within an hour, we matched.

He messaged first and started a conversation like we were strangers. He told me he was single, asked what I was looking for, and suggested meeting up for drinks.
I felt sick reading it because the person behind the screen was the same man who had been helping me choose wedding songs the night before.
I haven’t confronted him yet because I don’t know if I’m overreacting or if I need to know the full truth first.
Would you confront him immediately, cancel the wedding, or try to find out more? I can’t keep it in for much longer

I was only there for 2 days (it’s a tea shop btw) and I was doing as much as possibly without being in the way. I wasn’t allowed to do much like register or make the drinks, but I was cleaning, helping organize, and just really trying to prove that I’m a good fit.

Customer rapport was a big deal at this job as well and I’ve lived in this place my whole life and luckily don’t have much social anxiety so I find it pretty easy to talk to others.

I often pride myself in my work ethic and I know I can be a great worker, but I just don’t understand what went wrong? I don’t even know how to respond to such a thing…

We’d spent six years saving for our first home. A few months ago, my husband joined a private Discord run by a crypto “millionaire” who convinced him to put our ENTIRE house deposit into a new coin before it “100x’d”

The project disappeared overnight. We lost nearly everything and now our landlord has suddenly told us he wants to sell the place we’re renting.

I don’t know anymore. I’ve been crying and swearing the whole fucking day.

My husband “surprised” me by buying a $65k fishing boat because he claimed it was a “once in a lifetime deal”. I had no idea he’d taken a loan out for it until our mortgage payment bounced this month.

He insists he’ll make the money back through charter fishing on weekends, but he doesn’t even have any clients lined up. Meanwhile we’re behind in bills and our savings are almost gone trying to keep up with our loan payments.

How do I handle this??

edit: neither of us are worked up about it, I’m just curious to see what other people’s opinions are. :)

My husband and I work at the same company. What would you do if one of your female coworkers started dropping treats off at your husband’s desk?

Backstory: It’s a relatively small company, so everyone knows everyone. And before you say it, no, he’s not into her or having an affair lol. She’s relatively new (like been here 6mo). The company knows she likes to bake and she’s brought treats in for the office in the past, but a few times now she’s specifically left little mini treats on his desk. I’ve walked up to his desk before and she just leaves it on his desk before we both come in. She doesn’t leave a note, but we know it’s her. She brought him a mini cake once after his birthday, and then the following week she brought him a treat because she was “recipe testing.” But nobody else got one lol. She’s also offered him cookies from her lunch before.

He’s made comments about her treats being good, but everyone at the office offers compliments when she brings something in, so it’s not like he’s seeking it out. We both just think it’s weird and makes my husband uncomfortable. I personally think it’s disrespectful and inappropriate. I couldn’t imagine bringing in a treat specifically for another male coworker and leaving it on their desk lol. We haven’t said anything to her yet, but idk if I want to bring it up to HR or not.

ps. She’s also been married for 10 years

Last week I posted about my boyfriend not wanting to stay at a hotel my family and I were planning to stay at next month for an upcoming trip for my cousins marine corp graduation.

I spoke to him about it (as many of you suggested) and he simply said he doesn’t want my dad wasting money on a hotel when it’s a two hour drive from our home area. Even if my dad said it was alright, my boyfriend says he’d rather just wake up earlier and drive down to my cousins marine corp graduation that day rather than pack a bag and have my family spend money on an extra room for he and I. He said I’m more than free to go there with my family as planned but I’m glad we cleared the air.

If I’m being honest, I’m still somewhat sad that he isn’t staying with us as the whole family had planned to spend the evening at dinner and exploring the local area so I thought this was a good opportunity to make some memories.

Don’t think there’s anything I should do at this point. But thank you all for your input.

my boyfriend had a much more expansive history with sex than i have, from hookups, to sex parties, to bulling hes done it all

hes the third guy ive ever been with

so i just honestly have little to no idea what i like/enjoy beyond the basics and would like to try new things with him

and its nothing wild, things i know (based on conversations had in the past) that hes done multiple times over in the past

but every time i ask about doing it, i never really get an answer? it kinda just becomes a thing of 'oh yeah sure maybe' and i never hear about it again

well today we had a conversation about trying some things, (bondage and butt stuff) and he ended up just saying, he doesnt want to do those things with me

and i dont have any plans on bringing them up again or offering

im just looking for advice on how to not take it personally

he said its because he 'felt safe enough to say no with me' but ive seen (while helping him transfer devices) old texts with hookups where he's asking for those things, like a lot

i can understand trying something and not enjoying it, no big deal

but i guess i cant wrap my head around asking for something, over and over and over again, but not liking it?

idk things like this make me worry it's something wrong with me, like im not good enough to be anything more than basic with sexually

has anyone else experienced this?

My fiance (30F) and I (32M) are getting married this fall. We both have decent careers, no kids and neither of us has been married before. We decided together that we'd look into getting a prenup because I own a small business that I started before we met and she has some investments and family money of her own. We had our first consultation with a family lawyer this week and one of the first things he said was that we should each have our own attorney review the agreement before either of us signs it. He explained that it's the best way to make sure everything is fair and that neither of us feels pressured.

On the drive home, my fiance said it sounded completely unnecessary. From her perspective, if we're already paying one lawyer to draft the agreement, why would we spend thousands more for another lawyer just to read the same document? She also said it makes the whole process feel more adversarial than she expected.

I can understand why she feels that way but the lawyer made it sound like this is just how these things are normally done. Now I'm worried that pushing for separate attorneys is going to make her think I don't trust her, while ignoring the advice feels shortsighted. Neither of us is trying to take advantage of the other and I'd rather deal with a little inconvenience now than regret cutting corners later.

What should I do?

Been with my husband for about 9 years. We have a son that is less than a year old. We live in an expensive area and work at the same place making more money than we would anywhere else in the state. Should be enough to live here comfortably despite the cost.

I’m in grad school and absolutely have to stay put for the next year at least. I can’t afford to live here on my own. If I left this city I would have to drop out of school which means I would have to restart the program completely when I went back. I need to finish school to make more money and get out of this job that I absolutely hate.

We can’t get kiddo into daycare right now and have to alternate care between the two of us. We have no family nearby to help.

His addiction to alcohol has caused a lot of issues and he has completely lost control. He is currently in rehab for the first time.

Now that he’s gone and I have had the chance to try to address some of the financial issues (he is also addicted to spending and even with us sitting down and making a budget together so he can see what we need to be spending where, he still spent $600+ on alcohol and other BS this pay period, which is a major improvement unfortunately), I have found out how bad he has screwed us over.

He has not been paying his car insurance which has been canceled, he has not updated his car registration in almost 2 years and his car will go unregistered as of August. I tried to address the registration issue but can’t because no insurance. Can’t get him insurance because his driving record in the last year is atrocious and he’s about to lose his license if he messes up even slightly. He has an unpaid ticket that is much more than we can afford.

Long story short, I am feeling incredibly defeated. The addictions have caused a lot of resentment and it’s not fair to me nor our son. I know that he’s in rehab right now but I am still feeling hopeless. I am having to also arrange the details of his leave of absence and what it has come down to is that he may not be getting any kind of pay while he is gone and I’m still having to fork out money for this rehab.

We have been negative by the time we get paid again every single time. I’m not a spender. I have no addictions. I forced him to go to rehab (he agreed it was time, it’s not like I gave an ultimatum) the moment I saw it was about to start impacting our son’s safety. I can’t trust him to safely watch the baby and I am about to start working 6-7 days a week when he gets back.

I arranged various coworkers and friends to help with baby care in the mean time but it’s not something I can sustain.

I feel completely hopeless and like I am about to lose everything because he couldn’t stop drinking and buying. I don’t want to let him know how bad it is while he’s getting help because I just want him to focus on getting better.

This sounds like he’s just an awful person, but he’s not. It really is the addiction. He’s the most kind person anyone could meet and people describe him as a “ray of sunshine”. He has so many artistic talents, he’s funny, incredibly attractive, we have a lot of shared interests, we are intellectually matched, and I want to spend my life with this person. But he’s not the same person when he’s in active addiction. He just sleeps, has no interest in doing anything with me, barely interacts with our son, makes really stupid decisions, compulsively eats all our groceries within a couple days after going to the store, and just generally becomes lost as a person.

He’s got a lot of extensive childhood trauma he’s been addressing in therapy for years and he’s been on large quantities of medication over the years to battle addiction and mental illness. I have been as supportive as I possibly can. During the pregnancy he got sober and maintained it for 11months and 2 weeks. This was wonderful and gave me a lot of hope.

I’m so sad for him. I’m sad for our son. I’m sad for me. He doesn’t want to be like this. He’s not a bad person. But I am trying to better myself for the both of us and he is so stuck in his addiction he has no aspirations in life and is really dragging us all into the dark pits of his depression and his choices are destroying our life.

I don’t know what to do. I just want things to be how they used to be. Before he started drinking and binge eating, and compulsively spending (yes he is diagnosed with bipolar 2, and medicated).

If I leave, this is almost worse, because I would have to move back home with my son and be a single parent (I would seek full custody), drop out of school (I’m not gonna lie, I think this would kill me), and probably lose all of my belongings including my car. I can’t afford it. But I also can’t afford him. I’m not religious but I am praying that rehab does something to fix this. Even if I don’t know how to fix the absolute mess he has made. I can’t even just sell the car, we owe too much on it.

I’ve started going to the food bank to feed us. This is humiliating not because it’s shameful to be down on your luck, but because I shouldn’t need it with how much we make together. Even on my own. I had to lie about our income to them because they would absolutely reject us. Despite our income, I can’t buy groceries that we need (or keep them in the house long enough because he can’t stop eating). I’ve stolen food from work and I’m nervous I’ll get caught. We have had to ask friends to buy us baby formula. I’ve cancelled a good chunk of our subscriptions. I removed our cards from his amazon account while he’s been away.

I love him, despite all this and it’s been really hard to have him so far away. I want my partner back.

What do I do?

TLDR: my partner of 9 years is addicted to alcohol, eating, and spending. He has created a mess I can’t fix that is ruining our lives. I love him, but he’s not him when he’s in active addiction. If I stay, he ruins us slowly. If I leave, it ruins me quickly and breaks my heart. He’s in rehab, but I’m still drowning and worried it won’t get better.

TLDR: should I stop at my bf’s house to sneak in and give him a surprise sleepy BJ?
He works first shift and I’m finishing up second shift right now. (10:30p)
He had a nap today and it’ll only rob him of ~12-15min of sleep.
I will not be providing a “heads” up

Hi! I’m not sure if this is the right sub. I’ve been a nurse for 15 years, and I’ve reached the point where I just want to quit before this career destroys me.

I love my job. I love taking care of people, but over the years, it has made me feel numb. I go home and still hear alarms in my head. I’m constantly exhausted. Maybe it’s burnout, but I’m done.

I want out. I don’t want to go back to school for an advanced practice role like a CRNA or NP. I don’t want any job in healthcare at all. I’m just finished with it.

I’m a 40-year-old single woman with no kids. I just want a less chaotic job.

Has anyone completely left healthcare and started over? What career did you pursue? I’m open to almost anything that doesn’t involve direct patient care. I’d love to hear from people who successfully made the transition. Thanks in advance.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. He has never given me any reason to mistrust him and has only ever treated me well our entire relationship.

A few weeks ago, I picked up his phone to check the time and saw some Instagram notifications from an account I didn’t recognise. Confused, I clicked into the notifications. I found a fake account which he had been using to dm literally thousands of girls, asking for nude pictures over the past few months. From the looks of it, he messaged anyone and everyone, as long as they were female. The sheer volume of messages is not right. It seems compulsive. Some of them responded and sent them and he sent some back. Some of them spoke for a few weeks. He sent them pictures of his face, and gave them real details of his life. Comparing the time stamps on the messages, he would message me and then them within minutes of each other.

I confronted him about it and he immediately denied it at first. Later when we spoke, he admitted that he has been addicted to porn for our entire relationship on and off. He recently started watching it again and it quickly spiralled into him messaging girls. He swears it had nothing to do with me, that he simply couldn’t control it. I’m struggling to see how he could do something like that if he truly loved me like he said he does.

He said he had set a cut off, and if it happened again he was going to tell me, but I really struggle to believe this. He didn’t meet up with anyone in person, but he was purposely targeting people who were visiting his city, which makes me think it would have gotten to that point soon if I hadn’t have found the account…

He has reached out to a therapist and swears that he is committed to taking the steps to get better, he still wants a future with us. I just don’t know how I will ever trust him again, there were zero signs and I found the account by a fluke… is it possible to come back from this?

Is this something he will continue to suffer with for the rest of his life or is it possible to recover? Please help me…

Staying with my In-laws a few states away for just over a week. They are retired are do a very personal and important project on a laptop(I'm being intentionally vague here).

I have been doing a bit of over the phone tech support for them and planned on reinstalling Windows for them as they have some malware going on. Finished the job and was lightly monitoring Windows update. They went out of the house while this was happening.

Was sitting in a recliner when they come back and ask if it's ready. I say they are good to go and advise it's time to look at an upgrade(Celeron just can't keep up). He goes to hands me some cash and I wave my hands gesturing like get that away from while saying "No, no, no." They say "I want you to have it" and plant it in my hand.

It's not an amount that I think is a big deal to either of us but... I did not want to get paid for this. I would rather this go to their next computer and I know they are on a relatively fixed income.

I'm currently trying to think of ways to get it back to them without offending anymore. Should I just keep it? "Accidentally" leave it behind? Explain my position to the other spouse and try to give it back to them?

Sounds spicy but it’s not bad. Probably going to laugh when y’all read this.
I adore my boyfriend. Honestly he’s turned into my best friend and I’m so proud of him and how hard he works. I’m a mom who got a divorce and lost everything and I’d do it again to keep my son and two dogs. I went from a stay at home mom to working until 11pm at night. And I really spend every penny for my son. My boyfriend makes good money and loves to spoil me. I have to be careful when we go places because if I say I like something HE WILL buy it. He even loves buying things for my son. And there’s a big guilt there because I can’t spend money on him like that and had to put money back just to buy him one gift he is so proud of.
Well with the job he does he’s gone a lot. Which sucks but makes every second with him sweeter. I’m a dreamer and he makes it happen and we’ve kinda learn to do each other’s hobbies so we can do them together. He’s supported me through everything and he will never understand how much I appreciate him.
So like I said I have two dogs. One that works and another that is retired. We live in the middle of nowhere so no leashes and they run free and they get a workout in. Which makes them really chill dogs. They have issues like one likes to find the trash and the other eats poop but besides that those are my babies. I also used to be a dog trainer nothing to fancy but I got lucky enough to work with big breeds a lot which made me really study dog behavior.
He has the cutest dog that has some issues that would probably annoy someone that didn’t know the behavior but I just correct it in the proper way. My dogs also correct him when he’s being a little extra. Nothing crazy just a gentle dog correction.
Well.. he’s a chewer and there’s something about night time that makes him want to chew BAD! While I’m gone they all go in kennels but when I’m home I let them run around the house, I sit outside and watch them play to really get the energy out. Well my boyfriend is out of town working his butt off so I got his dog and I LOVE THIS DOG! I never want him to think he’s a problem because he’s got some behavioral issues but genuinely the sweetest dog. But we had a problem…
When I take a shower all 3 dogs pile in the bathroom and lay on the floor. My AirPod died and I accidentally left it on the couch not thinking. Well Mr. Chew found it and chewed it to pieces while I was in the shower. Honestly my fault for leaving it out. But I’m missing the other one.. why? Remember when I said I had a son?? Yeah he hid the other. So now I have no AirPods…
I don’t want to tell him because I know he’ll do two things I don’t want him to do.
1. Buy me another pair
2. Think his dog is too much.

When honestly it was my fault and I don’t want him spending that kind of money on me over something that was my fault. And I freakin adore this dog to death.
I’m not good at keeping secrets from him and I know he’ll notice them not in my ears when we FaceTime.. HELPME WHAT DO I DO

Probably thought this was a cheating or something juicy but really a dog ate my AirPod

Hi everyone. I’m honestly just looking for advice because I feel completely lost and like I was thrown into adulthood overnight.

I recently turned 18, and shortly after my birthday I was kicked out of my grandmother’s house after being placed there under guardianship. The situation was complicated and happened very suddenly, and I ended up staying with a friend temporarily. I was later told that I could come stay with my dad, so he came and got me, but now that situation is becoming unstable too and I’m worried I may not have anywhere to go again.

I’m supposed to start college on August 20th at a university in Illinois. I already accepted my enrollment, have financial aid set up, and I’m planning to live on campus. I’m excited for school, but I’m scared because I don’t really have a safety net anymore.

I don’t have a car, I don’t have credit, and I don’t really know how to navigate being financially independent. I’m trying to figure out things like:

What do I do during winter/spring breaks if I don’t have a family home to return to?

• How do I become financially stable while being a full-time college student?

• How do I start building credit?

• How do people realistically save for a reliable car?

• Are there resources for students who don’t have family support?

I do have financial aid and I’m planning on looking for a campus job, but I’m overwhelmed trying to figure out everything at once.

My ex and I broke up about 2 months ago. We spoke a few times since the breakup. He wants another chance, but I told him it’s best we go our separate ways.

I still have the ring he got me for Christmas. It’s a beautiful ring, and it was sort of a “promise ring” (though we’re too old to call it that lol).

He got me this ring once we overcame (or so I thought) a turbulent period in our relationship. He guilt-tripped me about it during an attempted breakup. The rest of the relationship wasn’t healthy regardless.

The ring was on the pricier side, and I feel guilty for having it. It was symbolic of our relationship. But unfortunately, it also reminds me of the issues we had. I always felt like this ring was given as a way to “keep me around” after he hurt me terribly and I tried to leave him.

The ring is safely stored in its box in my drawer. I don’t want to see him in person to return it. I’m also nervous about leaving it in his mailbox in case it gets stolen, as he’s staying at his family’s vacation home for the summer and I don’t know when he’ll be back.

Would it be appropriate to contact his roommate and return it to him instead?

Is it even appropriate to return the ring? I don’t feel right holding onto it, but I also feel weird about trying to sell it too.

My fiancé of 5.5 years (engaged for a year) broke up with me. I had to move out of our house and start completely over at 29. At first I wanted to stay here where I live bc I have some good friends but I’m starting to feel so claustrophobic and trapped. All my friends are busy and have husbands and soon to be kids so I’m alone a lot which is okay but I would love to be able to go home. I have two pets and it’s a ways to travel home and they aren’t able to be on buses and during the holidays the drive is too tough for me to drive myself. So I might be spending the holidays alone for the first time and that thought SUCKS. I wish I just moved home. I’d have friends and family and could be far away from my ex where I know I wouldn’t run into him and I could fully move on. I just don’t have any distractions from my horrible saddness. But ALSO moving home is a huge decisions and I’m afraid I’d regret doing it because I left for a reason. I just don’t know what to do or where to go from here. I have a lease but if it could be broken would I go home? IDK idk what to do

Okay oh my goodness thank you all very much for trying to open my eyes.. we have been on the edge of breaking up these couple days and I think I have just been trying to see him for his good qualities and this was it for me ngl, I love this man to pieces but the way he talks to me makes me feel so bad.

I have already talked about this with him. He already knows that I am insecure in many ways and I know that once something starts, it doesn’t go away. He has called me a hiplet as a joke and just turned into him using it when he’s taking out his anger on me lmao

I know him and I are immature but we really were in love, and sometimes it’s really hard to see bad sides because you’re online so yk what can you do? (We’re long distance)

I will grow past this and just try to focus on myself than be anxious over what someone thinks of me even as a joke..it’s distasteful and I have never entertained it.
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My boyfriend (19) of 4 years sent me this video and idrk what to do, im waiting for his reply but i just feel like he’ll do this till the end of time cuz what if one day i do get cellulite lol

Mind you he sent me this when yesterday i sent him videos of my ass. I don’t have cellulite. It’s like me sending him a video saying it’s small but cute or sum about his dick, even if he knows it’s not true he’ll still feel bad tf who wouldn’t

And this is not his only time mentioning it, he once said “Cellulite is so cute but in like a friendly way not a relationship way” so I asked him why would he say that and he said “Tiktok meme 😂” it’s really not funny?

My 15-year-old sister is a meth addict. I don't know how to help her anymore.
I'm posting here because I'm completely lost and hoping someone who has been through something similar can offer advice.
My little sister is 15 years old and has been addicted to meth for roughly the last two months. There was a period of about two weeks where she told us she was sober, but looking back, I'm not even sure if that was true.
We recently found out that she's no longer just smoking meth—she's injecting it now, which has terrified our whole family.
The hardest part is that our parents have basically given up on her. They don't want her living with them and have made it clear they don't want the responsibility. Because of that, my siblings and I have all taken turns trying to care for her and keep her safe, but we're all young adults with our own lives, and we're completely out of our depth.
At the moment, she's living in unsafe environments with people who are also involved in drugs. We know she's not safe, but she refuses to come home or stay somewhere stable.
We had rehab organised for her, and we genuinely thought it was our best chance of helping her. At the last minute, she refused to go, and because she didn't consent, there wasn't anything we could do.
She was also placed in a youth refuge for a while, but she was recently removed by police after vandalising the property. Since then, things have only gotten worse.
We've tried getting help through DCJ, but we've essentially been told that because she's almost 16, they'll "work on her when she's of an age for independence." From what we've been told, the plan is for her to eventually live independently, but I can't understand how anyone expects that to help a 15-year-old who is addicted to meth.
I feel like we've exhausted every option we know of. We're terrified that if things continue the way they are, she's going to end up seriously hurt or worse.
I'm not looking for judgment. I'm looking for advice from people who've experienced meth addiction themselves, had a sibling or child go through it, or work in this area.
Is there anything else we can do when she refuses treatment?
How do you support someone who doesn't want help?
Are there services or approaches we might not have considered?
Has anyone been in a similar situation where a young person eventually turned things around?
I love my sister so much, and I don't want to give up on her, even though it feels like every service around us already has.
Any advice would mean a lot. Thank you for reading
.

I lived in a three person unit, and three months ago, all three of us moved out. This was because the primary leaseholder forced everyone out. She (primary leaseholder) was sued by Claire, because she collected fraudulent security deposits from Claire and me. All of our names were on the lease, and the deposit was one of those that remains with the lease until the whole unit is vacated. So the person who paid it moved out years ago. Primary leaseholder paid nothing, and tricked Claire and me into paying by telling us that she had paid it and we had to pay her back. The judge ruled in Claire's favor, as primary leaseholder was not the landlord.

So now primary leaseholder is asking me to move back in with her in a new unit, after we both moved three months ago to different places. She knows my lease is month to month, and is asking me to move again and get a new place with her. I have no idea why the sudden move once again from primary leaseholder.

These are other things she did during the lease.

-left lights on all the time

-worked from home in the living room nearly every day

-said there was a "house rule" no one could have any guests over

-slammed doors during the middle of the night

-never put in work orders for things like clogged bathtubs

-said the deposit was a requirement for everyone to pay their share, despite her not paying one herself

-sold all my furniture at the end of the lease, despite a previous tenant who moved out donating it to me

How should I reply to her? She's been spamming me with messages. These are them, copied and pasted.

It is called (redacted) 😄 they have better prices comparing to (redacted), and there is in-unit laundry!

I think A12 looks pretty nice and good price, and there is a balcony:

Also it looks like they are offering one month free rent if moving in August. I think it will take some pressure off for us to pack and stuff

So I have been offered two different jobs. The first one is a Parks & Rec Operations Assistant for the city I live in and the second is a teacher's assistant role full time for both. For some background I'm 24 turning 25 soon and I have been working for the city for about 5 years already and the full time position was created specifically for me because I already know how to do everything for it. However, I've only just gotten this offer because my director heard I was looking for full time and got an offer after my interview with the school went well and they were offering me the position. These are very vastly different jobs and I want to make sure I choose what would be right for me. I've always been good with kids, so the people close to me have been encouraging me to take the position with the school. I'm worried that I'd be picking it just cause others think it's what's best for me. I have worked with kids in a class setting before, but the position I interviewed for was for a cdc classroom (I believe the age group was pre-k - kindergarten) and I've only dealt with 2-3 special needs kids at a time before. I'm also worried that I'd be turning it down due to my own anxiousness about a new environment. The pro's for both are that I'd have the benefits I need once I can't be on my mom's insurance any longer, higher pay, and technically career growth. I do also want to preface that if I think 10 to 15 years ahead I don't think I'll stay at either. I enjoy trying new things and I also think I want to go back to school or do a pharmacy technician course... Any advice is appreciated.

I rent an apartment in a multi family home. My only neighbors live above me, and also rent.

We noticed a leak in our living room ceiling and called our landlord, who would need to fix it. He asked us to check with our neighbors, and they’re nice people that we are friendly with, so we did.

They had potted plants in their living room that they were watering and didn’t realize those pots had holes in the bottom. This caused a pretty large puddle that caused our leak. They were very apologetic, but asked us to make up some other reason because the landlord is going to give them a hard time.

They are super nice people and have watched our cats while we were on vacation. I don’t have anything against them. I don’t want issues with them in the future. But I still think we (my husband and I, he’s the one talking to the landlord) should tell the truth.

My husband is conflicted and is very stressed now trying to come up with some alternate reason to save my neighbors from getting yelled at I guess. Our landlord has always been really nice to us but I can see him as the type to get angry when inconvenienced.

What should we do?

Edit: I convinced my husband to tell the truth. I’m not trying to have my landlord spend a bunch of money without a real reason when we know what caused the leak. I don’t need him to start feeling the need to recoup his losses through a higher rent for us. Thanks for the replies though!

Posting for a friend. He is a kind person.

His wife moved out of state to have their son and stay at her parents house until she felt comfortable coming back. She never came back and its been years now. He found out she has a boyfriend and they are in the process of getting divorced. He visits a few times a year and facetimes a lot. He has been paying a set amount for child support and she gets tons of government assistance, doesn't pay rent or house hold bills as she lives with her parents. She works part time but her mom takes care of the child all the time.

So he pays a set amount of child support but she calls him up constantly and says the kid needs crocks (shoes), she is low on money, etc. He sends her money every time even if he is tight until payday. I tell him if you never let her suffer a little bit (go without her daily starbucks, she gets food stamps and her mom won't let them be hungry), she might budget better. Its really frustrating to hear constantly.

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Today was literally my second day (first was computer training) but I already want to back out and quit.

I (20f) just moved from the west coast to Oklahoma, and have no family or connections here. I have 2 years left for my BA in art history which is why I moved. Classes start mid August but until then, I'm just sitting around. am fortunate enough to have a very supportive family and enough savings where I don't have to work at all the next 2 years. I also do commission art and sell my own art which proves to be more financially beneficial to me and less stressful. If I were to work 4 hours I would make maybe $35 after tax, but I can sell one drawing that takes me 3 hours for $80 and be a lot less depressed and stressed.

I also have 5 classes this first semester (Spanish which I have 0 experience in, is M-F) along with a full internship with a sports team which fulfills credits for me and I actually want to do (saves me a few Grand with tuition).

I'm debating on quitting now (finish my scheduled 3 weeks which smoothly puts me into the beginning of the school year) so the team has time to train people before the season gets crazy and so I won't freak out.

I have lots of work experience in different fields (including a special ed instructional aide for a over a year) so its not that "I hate work" I just don't handle retail well, especially with a cash register. I actually originally applied to be a 5am shelf stocker but they pushed me into associate staff before I could really process what all that meant.

Anyhoots. Thought? Am I a whimp for quiting so soon? Does anyone care? Should I quit ASAP so they have time to find others?

Thank you!