I (F23) and my bf (M23) have been dating for about 6 months, and this is my first relationship (hence the begging for advice). We were 2-hours apart for the first 3 months (saw each other every weekend, sometimes throughout the week) and have been on the different continents for the past 3 months. We’re gonna go back to 2 hours soon for about 4 months before indefinitely doing different continents.

Our 2 hour relationship has worked absolutely perfectly. We were freshly in love, dedicated, committed but LDR has felt different. I know he still utterly loves me, but he isn’t obsessed with me anymore. It’s like the honeymoon phase is over and he “just” loves me. I feel like I’m constantly begging him to be more affectionate or more romantic. It’s taking a toll on me and I’m sure it’s adding pressure on him. I feel like I’ve had a lot more dramatic outburst than ever before in my life and I can’t recognize myself anymore sometimes

On the other continent, my social life isn’t as developed as in the country we live in together, so he’s really the only social activity I have. I feel like I’m very dependent on our relationship and constant contact but he has a well round out social life and I am just a nice addition to it. I feel like my entire day feels like a Check list (“Oh I only have to go grocery shopping, and do this and that and THEN I talk to Ben again).

Is this normal? Am I going Insane? What should I do?

Hello! I’m looking between these two apps Couple Joy and Lovewick. They seem very similar and I was wondering if anyone has tried them both and what your experiences or preferences were for the two. I’m currently using Couple Joy but I don’t want to get in too deep and post memories to eventually switch apps.

I feel like Couple Joy may be limited in prompts because once we eventually complete the available prompts and question packs, I don’t think there will be any other prompts to do. How is it for Lovewick?

hi reddit… throwaway because my own ex knows my main

I (33 f) am in a long dist relationship with another woman (28 f) who is room mates with her ex, a man whose age I dont know but he is a probably my age

they were friends before they dated and now still live together while I live a few hours away… my girlfriend and insee each other almost every other weekend wehn i drive there to see her and her ex is always there

I have been trying really hard to get over them being friends because they have their own little language and are constantly joking with each other and I feel like flirting too even when she and i are in calls together… my girlfriend promises they are just friends now and that he is moving out in january but sometimes i just feel uncomfortable with how close they are

can anyone else who has been in this situation help me feel better about them really just being friends? is it possible? can she really have moved on from him but still be his best friend?

she is pan and i am her first actual girlfriend but shes been with girls before… i have only ever dated girls

My boyfriend and I met on a video game last year and have been in a long-distance relationship since. We’ve met up a few times in person and are supposed to see each other next month. He’s currently away on a spontaneous trip visiting family with no set return date. I want him to enjoy himself, but his absence has made me realize how dependent I’ve become on him.
I don’t think my attachment is toxic—in an LDR, relying on daily calls and check-ins is normal, and without them, the distance feels massive. But the real issue is that I have literally no one else.
Before him, I had so many friends. I played games, socialized online, and had a solid group. When we started dating, I voluntarily cut off my male friends to respect the relationship. Shortly after, my boyfriend made it clear he was uncomfortable with my female friends and the social games I played. He openly disliked my friends, so to keep the peace and prioritize him, I cut them off too. Now, he’s my only social outlet.
The problem is, he’s stopped putting in effort. The sweet things he used to do are gone. He doesn't compliment me, doesn't show affection unless we're in person, and gets annoyed if I try to talk through things. Our conversations are dry. He doesn't even keep me updated anymore—I found out he was leaving for his current trip just an hour before his train, and when I ask when he's returning, he just says "idk."
I feel so lonely. I fill my days with tasks, but as soon as I'm home, the void hits me. I never felt this way when I was single because I was surrounded by friends.
I'm at a loss. Do I end things and focus on rebuilding my friendships and my own life, or is this something I should try to fix and hope the spark comes back?

Me and my girlfriend started dating a little over a year ago. We live about 600 km apart, but luckily there are easy train connections, so I get to see her at least once a month.

A few months into our relationship, I made a mistake. I lied about something I never should have lied about. The truth itself wasn’t even bad—it was just something I struggled to talk about. We eventually worked through that.

Not long after, I went into a full burnout from work. It got so bad that I became more and more absent in our relationship. She supported me through everything and never expected much from me until I was doing better.

Once I started recovering, we began arguing about things we both felt were missing in the relationship. Looking back, I realized I had developed a huge communication problem. Instead of actually listening to what she was saying, I was so focused on finding the “right” answer that I wasn’t really present in the conversation. It got to the point where I’d ask her what she had eaten two minutes after she’d already told me. Naturally, she started feeling unheard.

She communicated this to me many times, and I tried to work on it. But instead of focusing on understanding her perspective, I kept focusing on my own feelings and intentions. That only led to more arguments because she continued to feel unheard, unseen, and unloved. Looking back now, I honestly feel like that’s on me.

At one point, she asked me to do something thoughtful for her. I completely messed that up too because I didn’t remember the small details that would have made it meaningful. Again, I was so busy trying to do the “right” thing that I forgot what actually mattered.

Eventually, we stopped talking for a few weeks. I used that time to genuinely work on the things she had been asking from me. When I reached out again, I wrote her a letter. At the time, I was between jobs and didn’t have much money, so I convinced myself that a letter was all I could do. Looking back, I realize that was partly an excuse. I could have found other ways to show her how much she meant to me.

She gave me another chance to show that I had changed. I truly have been working on myself, but she wasn’t willing to call or meet in person until she felt confident she wouldn’t have to “think for two” anymore—meaning she didn’t want to keep carrying the emotional responsibility for both of us or constantly tell me how to be a good partner.

So we started texting. For two or three days, I tried to show more interest by asking follow-up questions because, honestly, I didn’t know how else to show I had changed through text. Unfortunately, that backfired. To her, it felt performative, like I was only acting differently to win her back. I understand why she felt that way. All I really showed was that I was capable of having a basic conversation.

Now she’s given me 24 hours to convince her that this relationship is worth continuing. I know we both still want this to work, but she needs to believe that I can truly be a partner and not someone she has to guide through every step of the relationship.

The problem is, I’m completely lost. I don’t know how to prove that within 24 hours. My first thought was to travel to see her with a thoughtful gift, but she specifically asked me not to do that.

I really love her, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to fix what I’ve broken and continue growing as a person and as a partner.

Does anyone have any advice on how I should approach this situation?

I don’t normally post here but decided hey why not!! I 21F and my boyfriend 23M finally met after a year of being long distance 🩷. OH! And he got me a promise ring 🥹!!

I've (25f) been at his (26m) place for a few days and I told him "if we played roblox and you died in a game, I would spend robux to rev you" and he said "what about snapchat streak" and I said no. Then he told me that he's spent money on it multiple times!!! I thought the streak was reviving on its own because he sends the streak within a certain time frame, but I guess he's just been spending a dollar every single time?!!? And when I asked him why, he said "I know you would be sad if it died" and oml I am so lucky :') maybe mundane and silly to a lot of people, but I've never had anyone be so kind and understanding to me and I wanted to share how sweet this is.

Hi everyone! I’m looking for some advice from people who have been in a “short”-distance relationship.
For some context, we’ve been together for 10 months and are really happy together. We live about a two-hour drive apart (I’m in London and he’s near Birmingham), and we both have our own cars, so travelling isn’t too difficult. Reading this sub has made me realise we’re actually pretty lucky compared to a lot of couples, but we still have our own challenges and I’d love to hear how other people have navigated them.

Quick context:
❤️ We’ve been together for 10 months.
🚗 We live about a two-hour drive apart (I’m in London, he’s near Birmingham).
🚙 We both have cars, so travelling is relatively easy.
📅 We usually see each other every other weekend, from Thursday evening to Sunday night.
😊 Overall, we’re really happy together. I’m mostly looking for advice from people who’ve been in a similar “short-distance” relationship and how you navigated things like scheduling, closing the distance, and mismatched sex drives.

Scheduling
How often did you see each other?
At the moment, we usually see each other every other weekend, from Thursday evening until Sunday night.
Part of me would love to see each other more often, but it’s difficult balancing everything else. I have quite a big friendship group, and because most of my friends live about an hour away, weekends are usually when we catch up. I don’t really see them during the week, so I sometimes feel like I’m choosing between spending time with my boyfriend and maintaining my friendships.
Moving in together
I tend to move quite quickly in relationships. My ex and I moved in together after about six months, so I know my sense of timing might not be the most objective!
I’m definitely keen to close the distance eventually, but it’s complicated. I currently rent in London and genuinely love living here, whereas my boyfriend owns his home in a smaller town near Birmingham. Financially, moving into his place would make the most sense because I don’t have a deposit saved (thanks, London rent 😅), but it would also mean leaving a city and lifestyle that I really enjoy.
How did you know it was the right time to close the distance? Did one person end up making the bigger compromise, and how did you decide whose location made the most sense?
Sex
This one is a little more personal, but I’m curious whether anyone else has experienced this.
I’d say my sex drive is higher than my boyfriend’s. We both have ADHD, and I think that contributes to me having a bit of a scarcity mindset around sex. Because I know we won’t see each other again for another two weeks, I find myself wanting sex almost all the time when we’re together because it feels like I need to make the most of the time we have.
We usually have sex two or three times over the four days we’re together, which I know is objectively a healthy amount, but emotionally I still find myself wishing it were more because of the gap between seeing each other.
Has anyone else struggled with that feeling? If so, did it get easier over time?
I’d love to hear how other couples have navigated any of these things. Thanks in advance!

Hi everyone,

30F here,

​I’m looking for some insights and success stories from people who met their partner online while living far apart and eventually transitioned from long-distance to marriage.

​A bit of context:

I’m preparing to move back abroad in about 3–4 months. I previously lived there for three years, but it was a really isolating experience—I was in a poorly connected city, dealing with a financial crunch, and mostly renting rooms with families to ensure a clean, quiet living space. Coming back home for a break made me realize how much that loneliness affected me.

​I really want this next chapter to be different. I’m considering setting my location on Hinge to my destination city now so I can start connecting with people ahead of time. The idea is to talk, get to know each other over calls for these next few months, and then meet up in person once I arrive to see if there’s genuine real-world chemistry.

​For those who have been through this and made it work long-term:

1)​How long were you talking/dating long-distance before your first in-person meeting?

2)​Looking back, what was the "sweet spot" timeline for meeting in real life without building up idealizations or burning out on video calls?

3)​Any advice or red flags to watch for when using dating apps across different locations before a move?

​Would love to hear your experiences, timelines, and advice.

Thanks in advance!

Realized I had updated on the discord but never provided an update here. My husband and I finally closed the distance for good at the beginning of this month. We were long distance from February 2020 until July 2026 - 6 years and 10 trips!

We met through a mutual online friend while playing Dead by Daylight and quickly grew fond of each other. The pandemic restrictions kept us from meeting until nearly 2 years into our relationship. It's wild to look back and realize everything we went through to be together, and I imagine it'll continue to be a hell of a tale to tell friends, family, maybe children someday.

We married in June 2024 knowing that we'd apply for me to move to Sweden once my husband secured a permanent employment contract and suitable apartment. We were able to apply for my residence permit last December and received our approval in March of this year following my interview at the Swedish Embassy in Washington, DC. It took a few months to sell my house and line up all of the logistics, but I moved here earlier this month with my 3 cats.

I am so looking forward to seeing how our life is now that we can build it together in-person! And I want to thank the folks in the discord server who were always wonderful company, especially when I was going through the heartaches of airport goodbyes. I hope everyone here is able to see the distance end. Happy to answer any questions on the process too! ❤️

Basically the title. I opened up about what was bothering me and she brought up the time I hung out with my friend a girl and said she doesn’t trust me anymore after that. Mind you she has my location, my phone has auto answer for her, I literally only hangout with friends probably like once every 4 months, I’m on call with her at work the whole time, my socials look like a damn fam page for her,

Compared to me who gets ignored for hours on end, I don’t have her location, she can’t call me at work because she doesn’t have earbuds, the only thing that signaled she was in a relationship was my initial in her TikTok bio not anywhere else

I feel like shit my whole world was literally blown up in an afternoon. My friend say she’s using this as an excuse to “cheat” guilt free. I don’t even know what to do. I can’t do anything cause at the end of the day I’m still that fat kid sitting alone at recess watching all the other kids have fun.

I hate life why do I always have to be understanding? Why is it every time I open up the other person leaves?

I met my partner in person and they’re the sweetest most kindest person i’ve ever met. But i’m so embarrassed to be next to them. I physically am not attracted in the slightest bit them and I feel so bad. We had been online friends for a while and I fell for them because they had always made me laugh but finally seeing them in person is eating me alive. Before anyone ask we had FaceTime before but they were always in a dark room only zoomed into their face. They’re really sweet and I feel incredibly conflicted. I fell for them because they’ve always been so kind towards me but I want to be a little physically attracted towards them. If anyone can give me advice on how I can go about this it’s greatly appreciated.

Give me your views... Me and my girl have been dating for over a year.. and after 6 months of relationship we had to shift to long distance. Now I haven't met with her after that... Now for over a month I've started feeling that we are getting too distant. Give me your views on what might be the reason behind that...

Let me tell you she's a working woman and says she's too busy with the work mostly.

Small background Im in the us and my boyfriend is in Iraq I have low spectrum autism and I struggle with picking up on certain cues and struggle with being emotional. My boyfriend is going through a difficult time with lots of hard work and he's being stretched so thin by everything around him and i don't know how to help him, it breaks my heart to see him so upset and I wish I could be there for him in the way he needs and deserves. I need advice on how to properly comfort him and how to make him feel listened to. He's studying constantly and I can see it destroying him and Id do anything in the world to aid him in it, our time difference plus his bedtime limits the amount of time we have left to spend anyway (averaging around 1hr - 30 minutes) im sorry if this is formatted wrong or anything

Hi guys, I’m new here…I’ve never really been one for Reddit unless it was looking for solutions to troubleshoot a gaming issue, but I feel like I’m kind of stuck as none of my friends have been in this situation, or even close to similar so I thought I’d ask you guys for your advice seeing as most of you are currently making long distance work or have managed to close the gap (congratulations I hope you’re all super happy and content❤️)

I (26F) joined a Discord server about a year ago. For the first 6–7 months, I barely interacted one-on-one with this guy (31M) on the server. However, a few months ago, we started talking directly. It began as just a friendship, but quickly spiraled into something deeper.

He is incredible - funny, smart, and deeply sensitive. On the outside, he looks like a tough "badass" (tall guy, rides a motorbike, listens to Metallica/rock/country), but soft on the inside, he plants flowers in his garden, reads poetry, and eats honeysuckle when he goes on runs.

We talk every day. The connection feels very real and intense, but there's a big catch: he has explicitly told me he doesn't want a long-distance relationship. He’s tried LDR in the past, it went badly, and he doesn't think the distance between us would work (I live in England, and he lives in Virginia, USA) Yet, despite saying this "isn't serious," our daily communication feels like it’s more than just casual and a pass time.

Recently, a situation came up with another girl in the server. I got jealous over an interaction, and I intentionally let my jealousy show. Which he said bothered him a little bit because I shouldn’t be or feel the need to be jealous. When we talked about it, he reassured me that they had only exchanged a few friendly messages and nothing was going on. He reminded me that he's always promised to tell me if he ever started talking to someone else. He also pointed out that he trusts me completely when I talk to other guys in the server who he think all flirt with me, and asked if I trust him.
I do trust him, and I told him that I do…I don't think he's lying to me at all. But he reiterated during that conversation that we aren’t serious, two factors as to why he felt I had no reason to be jealous, even though he said a month ago it made him slightly jealous when people would flirt with me, which left me feeling really confused given how close we are and how much we talk.

I'm at a crossroads and could really use some honest advice:

1. Is there any realistic way to pursue this or encourage him to reconsider long distance?

2. Or am I setting myself up for heartbreak, and should I just call it quits/pull back before I get deeper in?

Part of me thinks the longer we’re talking the more likely he will be to reconsider, but another part of me thinks it could be a lost cause and it will never be anymore than ‘fun & flirty’…thank you guys xx

LDR couples with crazy busy schedules and work deadlines: How do you plan creative, low-effort date nights that don't involve cooking or staring at a movie screen?

I’m 17M and my girlfriend is 18F. We’ve been dating long-distance for a couple of months.

I struggle with trust in general, not only with her. Even when someone hasn’t done anything wrong, my mind sometimes creates worst-case scenarios. I’m trying to work on it because I know it affects my relationship.

Sometimes my overthinking gets so strong that I feel like breaking up, not because I don’t love her, but because I feel like leaving would protect me from getting hurt.

My situation also makes it harder. If my relationship or chats became known by the wrong people, I could get into serious trouble. Some of my cousins know about her, and I worry that someone could try to cause problems or use our relationship against me.

Recently, there was an Instagram situation. Where my cousin texted her which she didn’t tell me until i noticed that he was following her. And she also stalked my best friend. She told me she wasn’t allowed to make an account using her own email, so an online long-distance friend created one for her. During an argument, she gave me the password, but I never logged in. The next day she said she couldn’t access the account anymore because that friend changed the password. She said the friend blocked her long ago, so she couldn’t contact her to reset it, and she made a new account.

I don’t know if I should trust her explanation or if my anxiety is making me suspicious of something normal.
Overall, she has been good to me and tries in the relationship. I don’t want to accuse her, but I also don’t know how to stop my mind from creating scenarios.
How do you know the difference between real red flags and trust issues?

How do you learn to trust someone in a long-distance relationship?

How do you stop needing proof that someone won’t hurt you?

My girlfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship. We barely get to call because she has no privacy that much at home which means we only get to spend time together on call about once or twice a week.

Today, we called for an hour and watched a movie together. After that, she told me she was going to play games with her online friends because they invited her and she said she'd call me later.

That was around 4 PM.

It's now 10 PM, and she's been playing with them the entire time.

Before anyone says I'm trying to stop her from having friends — I'm not. She can absolutely have friends, play games, and have a life outside of me. That's never been the issue. The issue is that I feel like every time she gets the chance to hang out with her friends while also having the chance to spend time with me, I end up being the one who gets pushed aside.

This isn't just about today either. It's happened enough times that I've started resenting it.

She'll tell me she'll call later, and I believe her. Then hours pass, and she's still with her friends. If she wanted to spend the whole night with them, I'd honestly rather she just tell me that instead of making me wait for a call that never happens.

What hurts is that we already get so little time together because we're long distance. We don't have the luxury of seeing each other tomorrow or grabbing dinner next week. Our calls are basically our relationship. It makes me feel like our time together is the easiest thing for her to sacrifice.

I've talked to her about this before. It's not just this one incident. It's the repeated broken promises, poor communication, and feeling like I become less important whenever her friends are available.

At this point, I don't even know if I'm overreacting or if this is genuinely disrespectful.

So my soon to be ex bf, compared me to 5 other girls in our relationship. I have also noticed he is crazy defensive about this one girl Anna. And also he recently admitted to creating a fake made up scenario about having sex with a female friend lyn (I am changing the names for privacy) which was one of the girls he made me feel insecure about. He knew what he was doing and even lied to his therapist and put an act of “misunderstood loyal bf” in front of his friends and family.

There’s multiple things I noticed he failed to do, especially in the last 3 months we were fighting. He was asked to make a compliment book (ye i m really pathetic to beg for compliments) what not. He hasn’t done it. He was asked to send pics, he didn’t. His excuse was he needs to call gregor to talk about how to fix us. Odd, he knows what needs to be done and he is asking a very (I have no nice way to say this) dumb friend who says stuff life “I think you are adopting your perspective. Sometimes we believe what others say and that may not be true” despite their being chat proofs but ok. He has friends who support him and also call out his bad behaviour. And then he has enablers and really messed up people like gregor. So why will he ask him for advice? Well guess what, I just found out he was playing zombie games with him :)) ye there is no way on earth I m taking him back.

Cut to present, after he cried a river to his sister. As if all of these fights aren’t happening cause he can’t stop lying and gaslighting, she decided to send him to a psychiatrist ward for a week. Before going he decided he will take accountability and distance himself from the 2 girls he has been comparing me to. The message he showed me he will send is “I compared you to my gf and so I must block you” , the one he sent was “I compared you to my gf and she is insecure and so I must block you” ……

I have no words left. I have understood he has always been trying to change the narrative of this looking a toxic relationship when in reality this lovely bf of almost 9 months has never even planned a single date or complimented or even given flowers or anything that sort of. While he leached so many cards, gifts, care of sending him to doctor, interview prep. What not. You name it.

But I seriously don’t know how to wrap my head around, how a sane person will add the word “insecure” about his gf to the girls he has been comparing me to.

My girlfriend (22F) and I (21M) have been together for almost 3 years. We recently became long distance because I moved from the Philippines to Los Angeles to pursue my career, and I’ll probably be here for quite a while.

It’s my first time being in a long-distance relationship. So far, it’s only been about 3 weeks, and honestly we call almost every day, text throughout the day, and I feel really secure in our relationship. I’m not worried about loyalty or commitment at all.

What I am worried about is making sure she still feels loved despite the distance. And that our connection wont drift apart.

She’s been my biggest supporter since the beginning, even before I moved here. One of my biggest motivations for working hard is that I hope one day we can finally build a life together, wherever that ends up being. I just don’t know how long we’ll have to be apart, and I don’t want us to slowly drift into a routine where we’re just… existing on calls.

I REALLY really miss her esp her scent and touch. I dont show it often but i genuinely feel sad that she’s not here by my side especially when I sleep.

I’m also a very physically affectionate person, and that’s honestly been the hardest part for me. I miss hugging her, holding her hand, and just having her around. Sometimes I wonder if I should get one of those giant plushies that pats you just to have something to hug when I miss her…

For couples who’ve made long distance work for years:

-What made your partner feel genuinely loved from far away?
-How did you keep the relationship feeling exciting instead of repetitive?
-Did you have little traditions that helped you stay emotionally connected?
-How did you cope with missing physical touch?

I’d love to hear your experiences🙏

I’m 17M and my girlfriend is 18F. We’ve been dating long-distance for a couple of months.

I struggle with trust in general, not just in relationships. Even when people are kind to me or haven’t done anything wrong, my mind sometimes starts questioning things. I’m trying to improve this because I know it affects my relationship.

Sometimes my overthinking becomes so strong that I get the urge to break up, not because I don’t love her, but because my brain tells me leaving would protect me from getting hurt in the future. It feels like I’m trying to save myself before something bad happens.

Another thing that makes this harder is my situation at home and my culture. If our chats or relationship became known by the wrong people, I could get into serious trouble. My cousins know about her, and she knows about them. I’m not accusing anyone, but I know some of them well, and I feel like they could try to hurt me or cause problems. I worry that someone could pretend to be friendly with her just to get information about me or use our relationship against me.

One of my cousins messaged her before. I saw him in her Instagram following list and asked her to remove him, which she did. During an argument, she gave me her Instagram password in the heat of the moment, but I never logged into the account. The next day, she told me she couldn’t log into that account anymore because the friend who originally made it for her had changed the password. She explained that she wasn’t allowed to have Instagram on her own email, so an online long-distance friend created the account for her. I told her to ask her to reset the password but she said that her friend had blocked her long ago and she does not have any way to contact her anymore. So after losing access to that account, she made a new fresh one.

I don’t know whether I should trust her explanation or whether I’m ignoring possible red flags. The hardest part is that I can’t tell if I’m noticing genuine concerns or if my anxiety is making normal situations feel suspicious.

I don’t want to accuse her of anything because overall she has been good to me and she tries in the relationship. But my mind keeps creating scenarios and I don’t know how to stop it.

My questions are:
How do you actually learn to trust someone in a long-distance relationship?
What are signs that someone is genuinely trustworthy?

What are real red flags compared to anxiety creating fears?

How do you stop yourself from constantly looking for proof that someone won’t hurt you?

How do you trust someone when you know you can never have 100% certainty?

Is it normal to sometimes want to leave a relationship just to protect yourself from being hurt?

I’m not looking for people to say she is definitely lying or definitely innocent. I want advice on how to handle trust issues, how to judge situations fairly, and how to stop my own mind from damaging a relationship that I might actually want to keep.