Hi. So my husband is in his first deployment and he has been gone since April. I have tried and succeeded at answering every call until last Friday. I had a beatbox (for those that don’t drink it’s like a 11.1% alcoholic beverage) and we texted that evening but when i drink i get sleepy. so i fell asleep and missed the call. Fine no big deal he wasn’t upset. Last night I wasn’t drinking or nothing and I still missed the text. The calls come around 11:30pm my time and to paint the picture I’m a therapist I work 8-4 and then I do individual sessions 5pm-8pm for extra money. sometimes I am exhausted. so what I did was set an 11:00pm alarm so I’m up. But when I don’t talk to him it messes up my week like makes it harder. And I feel like I’m letting him down.

Also I know how mean some people are on reddit so be kind please. I already feel like shit.

Wanted to get some advice on how to deal with uncertainty. My spouse is going from active duty to reserve because his MOS got full and he waited too long to reenlist. He wants to go back to active duty and he says he can’t start the process until he talks with a prior service recruiter or the career counselor at his new unit. Right now I have no idea whether he can stay in his MOS or if he has to pick a new one. There’s specific duty stations I want to be at. The needs of the military come first but I would like to know if possible whether I’ll have to be long distance and separated from him for another 6 months or if it’ll be 2 years. I wish I could have more information and I don’t know if I can talk to anyone to find out. My husband has no info and he just told me to wait and I just hate not knowing where I’m gonna be and if I’ll be long distance for another 2 years…

Hey all. I need help deciding which dress to wear to my bfs bmt graduation in August. This dress would be worn while hes in his dress blues uniform and I'm trying to coordinate and think about the pictures. Anyway! Please help! (Included a Pic of his uniform at the end!)

For context: Me (F22) and him (M22) grew up together in the USA, went to the same schools and everything. I moved to Italy 3 and a half years ago, and we reconnected 5 months ago. We’re now doing long distance and he’s getting shipped out for Basics in September. This is the conversation I had with him, pretty short and straight to the point but it feels off. “It will be harder for you than for me.”
Should I really give this a shot or will I just surly end up getting heartbroken? I’m not sure what to do. What do you think? Anything helps❤️

Good morning Reddit! I’ve been unemployed for almost three months now. Recently, I went on a vacation with my long-distance boyfriend, who’s in the military. We got engaged during the trip, and he’s now my loving fiancé. After all the excitement has subsided, I’ve been overthinking and procrastinating.

I currently live in Virginia, while he resides in Washington State. I’m wondering what the best course of action is to prepare for our eventual move to Washington State. Should I just get a job here, save up some money in my home state, or start applying for jobs in Washington State where we’ll eventually live and try to secure a job there? Honestly, I’d prefer to move in the first of the year, but I want to make sure I’m not a burden to my fiancé, even though he’s already made it clear that I wouldn’t be.

I’m just overthinking everything. I would really appreciate some encouragement or stories from people who have gone through similar situations and how they handled them. Any advice or insights from those who have been through something similar would be greatly appreciated.

I have no idea what to wear to a bct grad. I have never been to one and I am going to one on August 28th. Idk what to wear to family day either. I will put some of the dresses that im thinking in the post and give me advice on shoes too and what to wear on family day!!

Hey it's me again!!! Things are looking up I'm trying to be positive even though he's leaving so soon, I was just wondering, because he has 2 years of school he has to go through, how will that be? And if we get married during his schooling, would that be a good idea? We know we want to marry but I don't want to wait 6 years. Any advice is welcome please and thank you

Is it okay as a spouse to not be okay with your husband joining. I want to start by saying I fully support my husband joining as its something he has always wanted to do and if I ever get to pursue my dreams I want him to follow me. I also believe even though we are married we still have our own lives and you only get 1 and I dont want to hold him back from his dreams. With that being said I am struggling a lot more with him being gone then I thought. He graduated boot camp and just started AIT. He will not be home for a few more months. We have a toddler together and I am also currently pregnant with our second. I dont work due to childcare ($350 a week) and I just feel alone and wonder what our life would be right now if he didnt leave. I have friends and family but its not the same as your significant other. I am so proud of him and will stay with him because I love him but its got me wondering if I can really adapt to not having him around 24/7. We have been married 3 years and never spent a day apart minus work. Its just a hard adjustment that I thought i was ready for but the longer he is gone the worse it gets. Idk i just need feedback. Please dont comment stuff like "welcome to the military life get used to it." I know that is literally my only option is to cope with it for the next 6 years. I just want other people's thoughts and opinions or maybe you felt the same in the beginning.

Significant other is deploying in about 2/3 months. I want to talk about my concerns, worries and anxieties with him but he keeps telling me things like I need to keep It emotionally together for him so he knows I will be ok while he is gone but this is the first time I’ve been with someone deployed. I also have never claimed to be the most emotionally put together person hence why I would like to talk to him but I don’t wanna put more on his plate or stress him out more. Any advise ?

My s.o usually calls on Sundays to let us know he’s safe but with everything going on right now, he didn’t call yesterday😞. I’m scared for him. It sucks being stationed so far from home and not having a support system here with me while he is deployed in a combat zone. My command just simply doesn’t care and I haven’t heard from his SFG to make sure his battalion is okay. My therapist is in Ukraine until August so no one to vent to either. I’m starting to spiral and he’s my calming factor 😢😭.

My bf is currently in basic training but will be going to Fort Gordon for AIT. It is 6 months long. I’ve heard there are a lot of restrictions on getting to see them especially if you aren’t married and unfortunately that isn’t an option for me right now. Anyone go through something similar? I’m overthinking about how the future looks even though we just started this whole journey and it’s making me question everything. Any advice would be appreciated.

Also we have been together for almost 2 1/2 years so we are committed and plan to get married when I finish my education. Unfortunately my parents will stop paying for my college if I do get married so I would be screwed which is what that is not an option.

Title is pretty self explanatory. Been with him for 14 years, known for 22. He will be 29 soon and wants to become an interior electrician since (12/8) and hes waiting on apprenticeship with our local ibew. The no contact for 10 weeks and then 6.5 weeks at AIT is killing me, and he hasn't even signed up yet. I understand the benefits, but the possible deployment of 9-12+ months anywhere in the future and the unknown scares me. I've broken down every day and losing my mind. Dont know exactly what im looking for here but maybe some words of advice I guess.

Only like a month until my bf graduates basic, then he’s at AIT for like 6 weeks then he’s back!! I’m so excited, and I plan on picking him up once he’s out and maybe like making some kind of vacation out of it? He’s at Fort Leonard Wood and idk what there is to do around there, but I’ll figure something out!! I’ve been getting letters from him every week, so it’s made me a lot less lonely :)— I also saw pictures of him on the FLW basic photos website!! It was nice seeing his face knowing he still looks the same.

I just wanted to express how happy I am now knowing I don’t have that much longer to go! :)

I’m 47F and he’s 47M, we’ve been together for almost 11 years. Not married with a 9 year old daughter. He’s deployed right now in the middle east, I still have feelings for him but I feel very different right now because i came across an old voice recording of some of our arguments and that convinced me to plan on breaking up with him within a year. The recording was from last year and in it he said that he didn’t like me since he met me. Take note he said that in 2025 and we met in 2015 living together since 2016. I have a feeling that he said those to hurt me and feel like he is winning our arguments by hurting my feelings. I am barely emailing him lately because how turned off I am feeling for him now. I don’t know if I am being selfish and not understanding that he needs my support now than ever. I know he only talks to me thru email, he even avoids emailing his friends and parents. I know because they come to me for any news about him. I am still talking to him civilly but I don’t know if I should just continue pretending that I still feel the same about him and us. I cannot break up with this guy right now because I know he is gonna get into depression if I do. i’m thinking that if he comes back from deployment that I’ll find an excuse not to live with him anymore but I know it will be difficult for he would want and need me and our daughter thru this sea duty. He hates being away from us and he is not very good dealing living with thousands of other people. So should I just continue pretending that we are still good and talk to him as if nothing has changed or let him wonder why I don’t email him anymore. I know that he needs my full support during this deployment. I still have feelings for him but I am also ready to leave him when he gets back. I’m conflicted because I don’t wanna be blamed if he gets depressed and he is still my daughter’s daddy that she loves so much. I feel guilty for feeling and thinking this way, i don’t know what is the right thing to do.

This will be my first time going to the Marine ball with my husband and I need some suggestions on the dress I will be wearing. I have a dark navy blue dress (Same one in the photo but without the train. It’s floor length) since high school and thought it’s perfect for the ball. I don’t know if I should wear fun colours like red or would a navy blue be fine? All my husband told me is that there’s going to be a lot of partying and to dress ‘formal’.

Sorry in advance for the long post.

My boyfriend (19) is currently in early AIT and has decided to leave the Army due to personal and mental health reasons. He's pursuing a medical discharge, and from what we've been told, the process could take a while. Right now he's no longer training and is waiting for everything to work its way through.

He's having a really hard time mentally. On top of everything he's already dealing with, he's worried about coming home without finishing training, not having a job lined up, not having a car anymore (his parents sold it while he was away), and facing what certain people might think about his decision. Whenever he gets phone privileges, I try to reassure him that we'll figure things out together, that this doesn't change how I feel about him, and that I'm here no matter what. But I keep wondering if there's more I should be doing.

For those of you who have gone through something similar, either as the service member or the significant other, what helped the most during the discharge process? What did you wish your partner had done or not? Once he comes home, how can I support him without overwhelming him while he adjusts back to civilian life?

There's one other issue that's making this harder: My relationship with his parents has become strained over the past couple of weeks. We had some conflict during his turning green ceremony, and although I thought we had worked through it before dropping him back off, communication completely stopped after he left for AIT.

When he recently asked how things were going with his family, I told him honestly that none of us had spoken since the trip. He reached out to his mom, and she told him they had been waiting for me to contact them to see if I really wanted a relationship with them which caught me completely off guard because I genuinely thought we had left things on good terms. This leads me to believe they think I told him to come back, which he did consider me for the decision — but I never actually told him anything.

I don't want him to feel like he has to choose between me and his family. That's the last thing I want, especially while he's already under so much stress. At the same time, the tension with his family has been affecting me too, and I know he'll eventually be coming home to all of it. I'm trying to keep things as peaceful as possible so that when he gets home, he has one less thing to worry about.

Has anyone been in a similar situation?

looking for recommendations on where to buy and what type of journals are helpful?

Hello, this is my first time posting in this sub and I guess I’m just looking for some advice/to vent?

My boyfriend of 8 months is away for field training for three weeks and it’s my first time not being able to talk to him for this long since we got together. We’ve been pretty much living together for two months and I got so used to sleeping next to him and speaking to him every day. Now he doesn’t have his phone and I can’t even speak to him. I’ve been trying to follow the common advice like staying busy and hanging out with friends as much as possible, but today is day 5 of him being gone and I think it’s officially hitting me. I can’t stop crying. How do you get over not sleeping next to them or getting to hear their voice before bed? Even before we were living together we always FaceTimed before bed so I’ve been especially sad when I try to fall asleep. I also keep getting really anxious because he’s going off to Ranger School soon (in the next year) and I keep thinking that if I can’t handle three weeks I’m never going to be able to handle three months.

Anyway sorry for the depressing rant, it’s just none of my friends/family really understand what I’m dealing with. Any advice is appreciated.

Edit: I appreciate all of the advice. I do want to clear something up though: I am not sitting around all day being sad about him not being here. I have a job, I’m in college and taking summer courses so that I can graduate early. I have many hobbies and have been hanging out with friends almost daily. For example today was my day off and my best friend and I went to a nearby major city to go shopping and see a museum. I was mostly asking for advice on how to deal with the sadness at night coming home to an empty bed. Last night (when I posted) was also the first time I had let myself cry all week and I was really in my feels when I posted. Again, I appreciate any/all advice, but my life outside of him is very rich/fulfilling already. I just wanted to vent/hear from you guys because I wanted to speak to people who understand what I’m going through since none of the important people in my life have ever been involved with someone in the military before.

Hi! My husband and I will be pcsing to Germany in August of this year and this is my first pcs with him. We just had our baby in May and she will be 3 months around the time we fly. I’m kind of stressed out with what to pack in our luggage and what to ship with our hhg for us and baby. I’m not entirely sure what to do about the car seat because I read conflicting things about that it could be damaged during the plane ride and do I bring a pack n play with us or just use the one they provide until we get our hhg. Please give me some advice because it’s exciting but stressful at the same time, anything is appreciated! Thank you.