Today I noticed that when something bad happens my anxiety will go directly through the roof. In that moment I felt this strange feeling, a feeling of searching like I was looking for something I needed ,something I wanted desperate for *something* and I realized I was looking for alcohol. I wanted something to take the anxiety away, not the drunkenness of alcohol but the initial calm, that soothing feeling that comes when you stop caring/worrying. That’s isn’t good though, I SHOULD care! Hell, at times I should even worry!
I understand the desire for that numbness but I recognize how scary that is and I don’t want to be that person anymore.

Learning to face things without alcohol is incredibly important to me

Proud of myself, another baby due in October so felt like I needed to get myself right. Chronic drinking for the last 10 years or so? 4/5 pints a night just to switch off, binge drinking at the weekends.

I don't miss drinking surprisingly, but I dont feel physically as great as I thought I would. I understand I'm probably going through PAWS. Understanding that is helping prevent me having a panic about having major undiagnosed health problems or anxiety in general. But still, I'm hoping I start feeling on the mend soon!

Good luck to everyone, this has been a very useful community to browse!

I listened to an old episode of Nothings Off the Table podcast which featured a girl named Sydney Macalister. The episode is called “She Hid Bottles Everywhere.”

I’ve been wanting to drink so bad lately. Listening to this episode reminded me of how awful the drinking rabbit hole goes. I could empathize with so many things in this woman’s account. The constant lying. The constant hiding of evidence of your drinking. The friends and family hurt.

At one point she said she even turned off her GPS location and ignored texts and calls so she could just sit by herself at home to drink and listen to music. That hit hard because that’s exactly what I did when intoxicated. I sit alone and blast music thinking it’s the most fulfilling thing when it’s quite the opposite.

I never want to return to that. You don’t have to either.

Love you all. One day at time. Stay strong.

Hello! Ive tried to stop a few times over the years. I went to join an addiction counseling program and the first two visits were over 500 together because I dont have insurance. They said I could go to rehab for free under a grant but that really wouldn't work for me because I am the only one who has a job and I don't have pto saved. My question is for other people that tapered and then quit. Ive cut down to one drink a night. Its a 19.2 ounce beer. I used to drink 3-4 a night. How long do you think I should stay at this level before stopping completey? I am trying to avoid worsening withdrawals. I realize we aren't medical professionals but id just like some advice from people who have tapered before stopping completely.

Here is the cold truth. If you drink enough to cause you to wonder if you have a drinking problem, you will simply, eventually, die. Not quickly, but horribly. You may get lucky, and get a transplant. If you drink again after transplant, you generally do not get a second chance. You can sort of see why.

Does anyone believe the same about this? Anyone being evaluated at transplant ctr right now? Anyone post transplant?

Hello all,
Im a drinker, always have been. Ive had a couple months sober since i was 12, going on 48 now. Anyways I moved to a new neighborhood last year and got a new liquor store. One day guy at the counter says "See you tomorrow." Never had that happen before.
I know this is killing me and i'm aware oof what I've become. I just don't need my plug letting me know that he knows.

I started work this week at my new job. Being unemployed for months was hard and now that I’m working again I very much appreciate being able to say I have a job. Especially in this market where it’s harder than ever to find work. A decent one at that

In other news also been going to the gym lately. Lost a total of 20lbs or so since I quit drinking. Feeling better physically and mentally each day. My teammates and other people at the gym are happy to see me around too. The support I receive from them means a lot

I’m now looking to get back into the ring for a kickboxing tournament in a couple months since I started going to the gym again. I haven’t fought in a few years so I just want to get my feet wet and it also feels good to have a goal to work towards again. If I’m not grinding to achieve something then I’m most likely at home in the dark and that usually leads to me wanting a drink

I just can’t do that. I choose not to ruin my life anymore. And I will make that choice everyday

IWNDWYT

hi everyone, i feel like ive been posting a ton here lately, so sorry for bugging you.

my spouse knew i have been going to online aa meetings every day. but i told him that i got a sponsor, and that i will be meeting with them in a couple days to start working on the steps.

he got pretty upset, saying im just going out and airing my dirty laundry to everyone. i tried to explain that if i dont quit now things will only get worse, and that this is a positive thing.

i just don’t know what to do. i didnt ask him to get sober with me, but i did ask that he support me while i get sober.

guess im just feeling a bit let down that his reaction wasnt more positive. but i will not drink today!

I’m feel I’m about to drink. I’m trying not too . But the Sun is out this evening. I’m exhausted. It’s calling.

I’m trying to push through.
Just needed to say it out loud (so to speak).

Trying not to drink with myself today.

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Enjoy and good luck celebrating your wins!

I am 8 days sober and I just can’t seem to get motivated to do anything is that normal? Like my house is a mess I washed my dishes and cooked but that’s it, my house is a mess idk man something is wrong with me

Every sober morning I wake up and feel great and do my routine and I’m productive but then around 2-5pm my brain goes into a freeze state where I can’t imagine doing anything except drinking and start to panic. It’s like I don’t want to watch tv, go anywhere, do any healthy coping, only drinking.

Part of it might be my anxiety due to more caffeine intake or my lack of purpose/activities to do at night besides watching tv or grocery shopping.

In LDR with much younger guy. Ik he is immature and inexperienced but still. He was doing alcohol detox last week plus some classes about sober future in his centre. He actually begged me to be with him these days as it would help a lot. I was free so i came and now staying with him. In the folder he got there are some forms they filled in with questions like your support (partner, parents, etc). So he wrote: Mom, Dad, Sober Friends. He doesn't even have specially close friends, more like mates but they are a priority. For me its finally clear I am not seen as a partner. I dunno why otherwise he wrote so but I think it's time to finally leave without any discussions. Am I right? I've learned a lot from this relationship.

I am almost 100 days sober and the last 2 days have felt like the first 2 weeks.
Constantly thinking about having wine. I don’t understand what’s going on. I just done my first sober holiday and I didn’t struggle at all but my mind has flipped and now I’m struggling.
Doesn’t help that my husband is still drinking every time he is home. It doesn’t always bother me but I feel like it’s a lack of support now.
My mum and dad still drink when they come round and I can’t ask anyone to stop on my behalf but everyone I hang out with drinks and I don’t like being around people who get drunk now. I feel like I kill joy tbh. My husband asked me to have a glass of wine with him on holiday as well which I felt a bit crap about. "You’ve done so well, have a glass, we are on holiday".
I know deep down it’s 💯 the wrong thing to do and that is the only thing stopping me from going to the shop.
Not much point to this post, just needed to rant really. Feeling extremely P off today.

Hi everyone,
I never thought of myself as someone who was addicted to alcohol. I never liked strong drinks. I can have bottles of whiskey that people gave me as gifts sitting on a shelf for years until my friends and I finally open them at a rare party.
But I was genuinely addicted to beer.
For many years, I drank beer every week, and sometimes every day. Usually it was 1–3 cans in the evening. On weekends, I could easily drink 8. I never saw it as a problem until I started getting hangovers. I guess age and the amount I was drinking finally caught up with me. That was the moment I realized I couldn't just stop.
Drinking beer had become such a strong habit that I spent several years trying to quit. Sometimes I managed to stay sober for a week, sometimes for 2–5 weeks, but I always went back to my usual routine.
During that time, I learned a lot about alcohol addiction, how alcohol affects the body, withdrawal symptoms, and the 12-step program. I watched countless videos by addiction specialists. But all that knowledge didn't help me quit.
There was one thing that kept getting in my way.
At the beginning, I said I didn't think I was addicted to alcohol. It's hard to move forward if you don't accept the problem. But I also struggled to accept it because, according to many medical definitions, my symptoms didn't seem severe enough to be considered alcohol dependence.
Then I changed just one thing.
I kept everything else exactly the same. I still went to the store, still poured a drink into a glass before watching a movie or playing video games. The only difference was that I replaced beer with Coke Zero.
Yes, I drink a lot of it (sometimes up to 6 liters in one evening), but the most important thing is that I haven't had a single pint of beer for several months. Even during a business trip to Prague, where beer is everywhere, I didn't drink a single glass. Coke Zero completely replaced that habit for me.
I just wanted to share my story. I hope it motivates someone who is going through something similar. And if you think I'm wrong about something or have advice, I'd be happy to hear it.

Take care, everyone!

Oh, and one more thing—I forgot to mention that drinking this much Coke Zero means consuming a lot of aspartame, which turned out to be a pretty powerful laxative. I wish I'd known that earlier... but honestly, I'd still take that over a hangover any day.

I’m leaving for the beach next Saturday with the family. We’re going with friends that are big drinkers. I’ll be about 2 weeks sober the day we leave and I’m determined to remain that way. But I would love any tips/methods anyone uses to get through vacations with no alcohol.

Thanks in advance!!

Terrified of withdrawals and don’t want quit completely, but I so badly want to quit doing this everyday. I know my body and my bank account needs it. I think tapering off is my best bet, but every time I try to get just a tall beer or 2, I end up caving at the checkout and getting a pint of vodka. Any tips? I don’t have anyone in my life I can talk to about this without judgement.

Today is day 22 for me, and I’ve been having strong cravings. I surprisingly got the day off, and my husband has to work late.

Earlier, I was so so tempted to cave and get wine. Instead, I used my medicinal marijuana and relaxed.

My husband came home unexpectedly and surprised me with lunch. I am so grateful that I didn’t cave. That would have been awful for him to come home to me drinking in the middle of the day.

Iwndwyt!

I've been sober for a year and twenty-eight days now (YAY!). A lot of big life changes are happening. After a decade of roommates, I'm getting my own place. I'm so excited that I'm at this place in my life. I'm worried that without the guardrails of another person in my home, I'll start up again. How do you keep yourself accountable?

I was sober for a month but I slipped and blacked out this weekend. I’m so ashamed and angry at myself.

Hi, today is day 7 sober. I just want to get stuff off my chest.

I’ve had a rough year. I’ve been depressed for a while but I was a victim of DV in january and it spiraled out of control from there. I quit my job because i was too depressed to move. I’m 23 with a roommmate and ran through my savings trying to get by on rent and wasted a lot of it on alcohol.

Her dad is our guarantor. Our landlord has been rightfully frustrated with me because i haven’t been able to pay my half of rent for two months now. They reached out to him and told him everything. I just told her everything i’ve been hiding about my money issues. He is paying the past due balance so we don’t get evicted. I told her I am going to ask my mom to help me pay him back but I don’t think she will because she’s been fed up with me borrowing money all the time.

I have hit rock bottom many times now but this is really it. He said if he doesn’t get in contact with a plan with one of my parents today i have to leave which is completely understandable.

My dad doesn’t have room for me and my mom said i could come home which i will have to do but ive had a bad relationship with her my whole life and she has a history of being abusive which i think is why ive let myself be so destructive with drinking and get into debt because ive been somehow convincing myself i would figure it out before things got bad but it kept snowballing and getting worse.

My roommmate said she’s not mad and just wishes i told her sooner and said she’s more worried about my mental health which i’m really grateful for. I’m so embarrassed and i just told her about my drinking problem which i’ve hid from my friends because i felt shameful having an addiction to drinking so young and i know i shouldn’t but i just feel awful

I don’t know what to do she said she isn’t mad and just wants to be there for me and im grateful but i genuinely don’t want to leave my room im so embarrassed ive been having suicidal ideations i do not plan on or want to act on them i just wish i could disappear i let things get so bad im so upset with myself and ashamed

It really feels like drinking was shielding me from the truth of life. I’ve always gotten away with doing the bare minimum. I’ve graduated college, got a job straight after work from home… do the bare minimum. I do the bare minimum with my work with my hobbies with my health. I’ve been scraping by my whole life, and alcohol has always helped me feel good and content and it gave me a nice escape so I didn’t have to really face all my wasted potential.

Well, now I’m facing it and it’s terrible. Sure my body feels better. But I’m not getting great sleep, I’m staying up late working on my portfolio and website trying to make up for a year of no effort. I just thought my problems would magically disappear and I’d have motivation to conquer the world. But no, the problem is me. I’ve never been really disciplined and I’ve been blessed with financial support so there’s nothing really driving me.

I always thought it was an advantage to do good in school without any effort, but it’s given me terrible work ethic. If I’m barely turning an assignments with the deadline, what makes you think I’m gonna clean my room if there’s no deadline? People make it seem like quitting alcohol. Turn their life around, but for me it almost feels like life is just now starting and I’m terribly behind… and I never learned how to be productive for my own good. Can anyone share their thoughts?

edit: for some context im 24f. Living w my bf with my parents. The job i have basically requires nothing of me and i work from home. Its been a year since ive finished college and i have genuinely nothing to show for myself other then the paycheck i get for doing nothing basically. I recently realized alcohol has only been making life guilt and consequences worse so i stopped drinking. I would usually drink every few days like in the afternoon or evening, the days I wasn’t drinking I would look forward to the next day that I could. The hangover, stomach pain, weight gain, and arguments have made me quit. It’s been about two weeks since I stopped.

I’ve lost count how many times I have had to reset my count but I won’t stop trying. I had 80 days and then the ol’ cycle happened. I started to think it was fine and I can drink, I’m overthinking it again. My time between drinking and quitting gets shorter and shorter. I know in my heart I want to be done with it forever. I just need to remember to play the tape forward. Here’s to trying again. IWDWYT

Having to call off because of hung over or couldn’t sleep is awful. And then not functioning as well at work sucks. It’s kind of my last straw because I’m scared now that I’m older. I don’t have a social safety net like I did as a young adult with family and friends and society in general that if I lose work, I’ll find myself losing my home and car and end up homeless God forbid. Anyone use missing work or even losing the job as a catalyst to get Sober? And once you did, did you see your attendance get so much better, absence and lateness drastically go down in your work performance go greatly up?

I fear for my health, but when I quit I find myself questioning if I'm worthy of a better life. I failed to quit for the people that cared and now I don't know where to find the reasons to quit for myself. I get sucked back into the nihilism or telling myself it's not that bad. I want more in life, but after all this I don't know when I will feel like I've earned that.