.

So about 2 years ago I became really religious, I was seeking the Truth and Meaning my whole life and thaught that I finally found it in Jesus (btw. now I would say, that I know that he is the Truth). Anyway, the bar that Bible give is kinda unattainable and one day I had enough. I was smoking weed maybe for 8 years (24M now) and also had big problem with porn lately. Last year, in July I was smoking pretty hard, not THC, but this HHC, which I think was definitely even worse. I had like 2-3 weeks streak, when I smoked immediately, when I woke up, then went to job, asap back home to smoke till evening, then I would pass out, mostly lights still on and I woke up around 1 a.m. sometimes smoked again put lights off and went to sleep. But everything was still kinda ok, as I was experienced in smoking. But after these 2-3 weeks of this, one evening I was so angry and pissed and sad, crying and screaming to God that I cant do this anymore, it is not possible to match the bar, I think this was the moment fload gates had opened.

The next day I was talking to my coworker and this was the first time something was off, but I thaught it was me being reborn, that I cracked the code and totally surrender to Christ, basically I believed God was speaking to my coworker and telling me how it will be after death and how to take more souls to Heaven. Then I was basically speaking to Devil, or clearly Devil was speaking through different people to me, God was speaking through newspapers, books, radio. I was really happy, ethusiastic, I believed in myself, talked about myself in 3rd party, sometimes thaught I am Jesus, I was seeing myself in Harry Potter etc. etc. This went on about 2-3 months, I was still kinda "sane", I also had problem with snus, but I could not stop it and one time I was saying sorry to God that I cant stop, I have took snus, then some car horned outside and It was like my whole head inside exploded and there was literally nothing inside my head, I was sure I am in hell and thats GG for me. Then schooll started.

In schooll I had debate with one of my teacher about some stuff, she did not like it and called police, next week the police came to our schooll investigating, but I was not there. My parents found out that something is happening in scholl so my mom called me in the evening what is happening, I said to her that I cant explain in through phone, hung up. Then they called police to check my if I am ok, because they were scared (reasonably). Police came to my flat, they said that parents called to check me, I said I am okey wtf, they said the ambulance is called and that they cant say if Im ok or not and took me to specialist ( psychiatry).

On the entry I screwed in the begining, Im kinda funny guy and was 100% sure Im okay, so young doctor came it was about 12 p.m. and asked me if I will hit him, I said as joke if you dont piss me off then no. :D So we talked and then he told me that there is thin ice between believing in God and mental illness and he want to put me to mental hospital, he gave me paper to sign if I go voluntarily or involuntarily I said that its to late and I cant even understand what the paper is saying so he was angry took that paper and put his own stemp and signature and they took me anyway, I was going voluntarily and was kept as such.

They immediately wanted to give me some blue medicine for sleep, but I refused and said thank you, but I couldnt sleep I slept like for an hour, then nurse woke me up and said I was going for blood and piss test. They took like half my blood I almost passed out, but somehow didn't. Then was the firs session with psychiatrists it was kinda Good and Bad policeman game and with my lack of sleep and my understanding what is happening I started to cry and started to be really paranoid and telling them, that I want to get out, beacause of this crying etc. From my voluntarily stay they changed it to involuntary stay and I could not get out. My mom and dad came I was demanding to talk to head of department and saying that I will be on hunger strike. But they did not let me out (understandebly) and they were in touch with police, thats why also. So I was prescribed olanzapin and said that work diagnosis is psychosis, I did not believe them, or didn't want to believe. But I then wasn't agressive, I didn't take meds, every day I had a session with psychiatrists and they started to tell me that if I don't take meds someone will take me and put injection to me against my will. I have read a sign because I was bored half my rights wasn't met. I demanded to take a call to call my dad, cause I didn't have a phone and called my dad, that they are threatening me. My dad was with me almost every day, I said to my dad - Okay if they come to me with injection I will fight back idc, then I was kinda scared even to sleep.

I made some new friends, it was kinda fun with crazy colleagues, but I desperately wanted and needed to get out. So after a week I was doing psychotests. I passed, psychotherapists even said that she didn't ser these good results, and that I am kinda smart and can have problem speaking to people, little bit paranoid, rigid, etc. But that I do not have psychosis and could sign reverse. So after 8 days I got out. Before that judge came, because of my captivity, if it was legal or not, judgment was that it was legal so if I didn't passed the psychtest I would be still there. One thing I need to say that, when in captivity I demanded chaplain, and this guy helped me the most there.

So I was free, but after that experiece I started to believe they are on me, police and even secret services. After two day I went to police to give explanation, I came there with my attorney it was really stressfull, the teacher was questioned, classmates and police said that it wasn't as teacher was saying to them. But they also said to my attorney, that I look unstable, that one policeman also was checking me on my soccer training so my paranoia was even getting deeper. I put tapes on all my cameras and started to believe that some humans are not real, starting texting in secret messages, though that all women want me, and that dark times are coming and a lot of other crazy sh*t.

Then I went to my grandparents, to different city, I believe they are coming to get me so I missed one train end went with the second, I started to hallucinate, people were recording me, I believed that if I can't see, they can't see me. Haha. So I came also to my grandparents, also my mom was there, and my head went crazy, I was in Hell again, I believed it is my last day here, I asked my mom if she can see me and asked her if this is it. She asked me if I want to go to some therapist I said, that I am okay (wasnt). Christmas came, and it was really stressfull, I was anxious, started to have panic attacks from my parents. Even slightest movement was making me crazy. I couldnt breathe, total panic attacks. I even went to hospital, beacause I was sure I am having hearth attack, but my hearth was okay.

6 monhs post Christmas I think I am getting better, did not take any meds. Have kinda cognitive problems, not as sharp as I am used to be, kinda embarrased myself in front of friends, maybe ruined some friendships, didn't finish schooll ( I don't want to come back). My parents are kind, they pay for everything, Now finding a job. I live with a friend so that is helping me a lot, even if Im kinda dumb. Isolation is not the path, still sometimes thoughts coming that someone is watching me, but this is getting better I had kinda laggy reality, this also getting better, sometimes even delusions are coming, but that is getting better. Adhedonia was also, but getting better also. Still having sometimes problem with breathing, I think thats because of some PTSD. Proper sleep is really important, no alcohol, but drinking is feeling different that before, so it is not even worth it, no drugs. Started to go to to gym, I believe lifting helps, stretching. Going to sauna. Now I wanted to get on my feet and hope I will get a job. The main problem that I have, that I am kinda scared to put meaning to anything and to put dots together. And sometimes asking my self if this is real or just a dream, but that is also getting slowly better.

Sorry that its too long, I wish you Good Luck everyone! I read almost all the posts, also helping me when I feel down. I believe everyone will take life in to their own hands, and find themselves again!!! Lets do it one step at a time guys, We got this!!👍

i have zero interest in social interaction, i am ok if i got approached or talked to anyone tho, I can't work cuz it feels overwhelming, i entered med school but i dropped out cuz i had executive dysfunction, the idea of being productive is kinda impossible no matter how hard i try, a decade ago i had delusions and it got under control fully with olanzapine.

i have a delusion that im possessed and it makes me suicidal. im afraid ill never get better or become normal again. my body moves on its own and i have intrusive thoughts that talk in my head about hell that do not go away. im on abilify 2mg but its not helping. im so sad and hopeless. when will it get better :( what is wrong with me :( i dont want to die

When in psychosis is it best to have a trusted person to tell you what’s real?

Considering telling my psych I don’t want the meds. I honestly think my psychosis is tied to two things: postpartum psychosis/substance use.

I believe I started having psychosis after my second son was born (or maybe even after my first son was born, but my memory is pretty hazy). It wasn’t long after being postpartum that I started using weed. And now I use blue lotus. I get the occasional peripheral hallucination while high. And my mind will feel jumbled and sometimes I’ll hear gibberish inside my head (sometimes it sounds like a child singing). I also constantly hear music like an ongoing playlist in my head. I don’t think it’s an ear worm as it isn’t the same song or snippet of a song over and over again. Ive had some other symptoms (such as delusions) but mostly all were during the postpartum period.

I’m honestly starting to think as long as I refrain from substances, I should be fine?? Just, a diagnosis of schizoaffective doesn’t sound right to me given everything I wrote above. Why would a psych diagnose me schizoaffective during the postpartum period anyway? Is it possible he just was uneducated on postpartum mental illness? I honestly feel he diagnosed me schizoaffective to try and make me sound crazy.

The only thing that maybe indicates I could have Schizoaffective is the so called “negative symptoms”. I have very flat affect, avolition and anhedonia. Maybe even alogia however, I do fine typing but speaking out loud is hard. I’ve been told my speech is short and vague. But I’m under the impression that these “negative symptoms” could be attributed to just depression or maybe even traits of a PD such as Schizoid or Schizotypal. I do deal with magical thinking and struggle socializing due to anxiety and some paranoia. I have no friends and only my husband and kids as family.

Being on an antipsychotic sounds dangerous to me. Like it could kill me. No matter how many times I take it and nothing bad happens, I still feel like it’ll kill me each time. I don’t feel that way about my other medications. I assume that’s because when I take an AP, especially when I first start taking it, I can feel the difference in my head almost immediately. But it doesn’t feel good. It feels like the medication is taking over my brain. Literally. And I hate that feeling. It always disorients me.

Is it worth having a conversation with my psych about tapering off my AP?

I remember fully dismissing religious people as delusional and having a coping mechanism all while fully believing I was the only person who fully got god and had the only real relationship with him.

I remember like really despising any one with self confidence while also devising a plan which would require me to be such a good soldier that I would be instantly promoted to benjiman netenhayus personal body guard in order to kill him. I fully believed this was not only possible but something I had to do

I remember talking about how dumb conspiracy theorists were while fully believing people were actively spying on me and trying to hurt me.

Anything esoteric or mystically related also just bugged me as-well.

Is this like a common thing or am I just a prick?

my recent psychosis included persecution, telepathy, mind control and very coincidental sounds by my upstairs neighbor, who makes this hard to dismiss, rationalize, heal and move on.

it started by a lot of new stress with my family and acting very unlike myself on purpose. it took several months for it to finally turn frightening, roughly 5 months.
i felt euphoric, chosen, confident, and as if i had died because i had moments of being very grateful and seeing all good things i experienced, big, small, or difficult, were gifted to me by God, who I believed is the Sun.

The telepathy i experienced was giving me what felt like gnostic knowledge and i was very intrigued. it was hard to ignore because it didn’t feel bad or questionable. it felt correct in every way.

i could not decide if it was cosmic, earthly telepathy, God, aliens, or all. I didn’t care because i was being given messages. it kept leading me towards mythology and Egyptian religion, specifically their gods of the Sun. i just rounded it all up to God, because what i was experiencing felt far beyond my own capabilities and knowledge. it exceeded my self.

when it started, i explained to my partner that my right eye felt “airy” and as if there was something behind that eye, with a computer and cursor. what i was being lead to look at was odd, specific things. When i would post a picture or song, it lead me to photos and songs that had my picture, perfectly “synchronized” with the picture or the song’s cover art. it was deeply confusing but very fun at the time. i have posted some of these photos on my profile if you’re curious as to what i mean. i’ll be removing them soon.

i started following every motif, symbolism, cosmic anomalies. it didn’t help that the comet AIAtlas was passing us at the same time this was happening. it was like a binding for all my beliefs.
it lead me to Masonic hideouts, information about the Knights, and the show “Serial Experiments Lain”. I watched that anime many, many years ago, but i had taken a picture of my sister’s Lain doll just before this episode truly peaked. i thought that was odd. i then could not shake that that show had something entirely to do with what i was experiencing. I researched what i could and always felt like i was being made to look at specific things still, like a cursor and someone else looking beyond my focal point.

“X” always marked the spot, protocol 7 was to lead me to a neighborhood in Nagasaki, Japan that looks similar to scenes that were portrayed in the anime. The popular song “Duvet” by bôa, the lyrics “a shame i can read your mind” was another binding in my beliefs. the entire song was binding! it then became that every song was the voice of the telepathy, turning me to songs that had another message. and it was? it lead me to Alt-J, and the meaning behind their name, and it having a greek meaning, and then to their song “taro” who is also a character in the anime.

eventually i was lead to look at pictures of 9/11… and it made me look at a picture that looks like a pointing thumb from the explosion. the thumb is pointing at the building beside it and on the building you can clearly see 10 +\- 1 on the building. 10 - 1 is… 10 + 1 is… it was all so odd. and truly intriguing. what was i being told? was it just for understanding? was it just to know something others don’t? was it to show me that the show, was truly talking about something real and could only express that in an anime? with the song, clearly talking about telepathy, being the most popular and recognized about the whole thing?

there is much more, including looking at the pictures of the Roswelll, NM UFO and being told exactly how to look at it and see what is clearly a crashed ship, it just looks illusionary. hiding in plain sight.

it continued and continued… synchronicities kept happening. my shows have subtitles and they became the answers to what was in my head. it was too coincidental. my reality became torn. i kept asking “how is this happening?”

street signs, business names, song titles and lyrics, tv shows, video games continued in that way. i could not escape. i started having feelings of persecution and feeling targeted for knowing what i know and having experienced this. i was being asked about internet history, life history, it felt like i was being vetted or in trouble. i started having terrible nightmares that felt like curated, and specific to only questions you would be asked if you were accused of something terrible. the dreams felt like scenarios, and someone was always watching what i would do in those scenarios. every dream treated me like a criminal and wanted me to be. some were terrifying, confusing. some were so ridiculous and hilarious, i’d forget how horrible they had been the night before. friends again.

this is when the synchronicities with my upstairs neighbor began. it has been the hardest thing to escape, surprisingly.

if my dreams were even slightly questionable, they would make a loud bang the MOMENT i would wake up. they began stomping if i was sleeping more than the last time. thoughts and questions were being answered by thuds and bangs, tap taps and would follow me no matter where i was standing. my partner witnessed this. she saw me clearly bothered by a physical thing, rather than images and telepathic messages. i kept calm but i would point out everything that was coincidental. my partner has agreed that what i was experiencing then was odd and now this was odd. she sees it too, how can this be a psychotic episode?

anyway… there’s tons more but i’ll leave it at that

First off, I am diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder w/ Psychosis. I also have C-PTSD, Anxiety and ADD. They don’t know if it’s one or two. At first, they diagnosed me with bipolar 2 but since the psychosis came to play they don’t know which one it is.

I have been running from this paranoia. I got into an extreme depression a few months ago and I’m definitely coming out of it but the paranoia is killing me. I’ve dealt with it all my life. However, lately it feels like I can’t deal with it. I decided to start drinking just to cope with it. A lot of time it makes it go away but when it doesn’t it at least makes me not care about it. The other day I was walking to the liquor store and I heard people walking behind me and yelling my name and every time I turned around there was nothing. I sleep with a knife beside my bed because I think people I know are coming after me or they have my phone bugged. I’m in a decent state of mind right now to know it’s not real but who knows how I’ll feel tomorrow. I’m on multiple wait lists to see a psychiatrist as I think my meds are no longer working. I just wish I could get outta this.

Can anyone relate? Everyone I know just thinks I’m fucking stupid and crazy or overreacting but I’m losing my mind. I can’t eat. I’m in a constant state of paranoia and alcohol is the only thing that calms me down.

Everyday at the end of the day as each day goes by I feel more “alive” in my mind and body. I’m thankful but just want to be done and feel 100 back to normal. How much longer will it take?

I kept thinking, how can't we have a healthy mind? Why those things have to happen with us?

While i keep seeing my friends growing and having a life, i have to be careful in order to not have a crisis.

It is not fair.

Anyways, just wanted to vent and hear your stories as well. Life shouldn't be so hard and our mental health should be stable.

My friend is a 42 y/o male with a history of drug abuse. His psychosis is likely meth induced, whether it has cause paranoid schizophrenia or just brought it out, idk, but that’s the closest comparison I can make.

He believes he was kidnapped at birth and his “real” family is after him. Believes they’ve killed his children and are storing the meat in his fake family members’ freezers. He thinks people on the bus are following him and there are cars and helicopters…it’s the whole thing.

He asked me to get him a bus ticket. He’s somehow ended up several states away. He was just around home a couple nights ago.

He is highly intelligent, highly uneducated, and…like me, 6’, muscular (we’re both concrete finishers). He’s been in and out of the system, a capable fighter, and typically carries a knife (though I didn’t see one on him the other night, so maybe he lost it again).

I’m worried about him, and just as worried for anyone he finds suspicious. I am the only person he’s willing to contact anymore, who’s willing to engage with him (I won’t sell ya the hooker with a heart of gold; he’s a meth addict, so I’m sure he’s been a nightmare for his immediate family).

If I notify police, I’m very concerned about how that will turn out. What can I do to help him?!?

Hi I alredy posted in this sub like 2 months ago about they fear of developing schizophrenia or psychosis

After sometimes time the fear dissapeared because my OCD made me fear about other things an alot of the "symptoms" I had disappeared

I Just wanted to say some things here.Is schizophrenia or psychosis something that can not have symptoms for a long time or It is something that is progressive without the meds

Can a delusion dissapear or it is progressive too?

Thx guys for all the comments in the last posts trying to reassure and explaining me that this is just anxiety and obssesive thoughts.I just want to post this last time because of these doubts.

Have a nice day and I Hope the best for you all

Remember this is going to get better and take your meds.

Also what is when the ground begins to ripple like waves.Is this a hallucination or can It be vertigo?

I keep believing that all these bartenders and influencers I have met and had friendships with are secretly prostitutes.

Somesimtes I see images in my mind of them in skimpy clothes or doing coccaine

Everything is too bright, too high contrast..like flames even in really life look fake and too high contrast..my orange socks are super bright now, the reddit symbol is very bright orange now.. even the white on my keyboard is too bright

What if we tap into some psychic power and then we get scared of it and brain starts trying to explain it (demons, aliens, all kinds of theories). The brain goes to these theories because it doesnt understand what is this "power" and then under the influence of fear we go crazy.

Maybe psychic is not a good word, but instead manifestation power would be a better term. Like you think demons are doing this to you and you see "confirmations" of it because you believe it and manifest the signs of it.

At the moment i thoughts christianity is a real thing i saw a 666 car registration go next to my car and a guy came out of some yard showing me a cross sign with his fingers and saying "no". Psychotic or not, that happened. So i am questioning everything now.

I had a strong manic weed-induced psychosis episode back in April and have ever since had strong 'tics' making my eye blink, my head turn and my stomach pulse. It's draining my soul and energy from doing simple tasks and holding a job. Has anyone had similar experiences, and did y'all tics disappear?

I'm a 27M on anti-psychotics (Rxulti) and anti-depressive medicine. The tics started before taking medication. Please help!

(20 male English is not my first language)

Hi since yesterday I'm obsessed with my data and how gouvernement is treating it , I'm feeling like I'm being watch , every move every message and I hate that , I go on all my social media and get rid of some authorized things who seems to me like spy.

It's like everything I do is being watched and if I talk to someone they will believe I'm crazy or don't believe me , I told my friends to do the same (delete authorization) and for now to talk to me on another device than social media.

I don't know if something wrong with me but I'm aware it's maybe not normal so it's maybe not such a big deal ?? Idk

When I was younger and even in past I had those thru that I'm being watch , I use to look for minutes to some "camera" I had in my room , it's take me months to make sure one black round isn't a camera in my logement. Even if deep down I know it idk I was in doubt.

Like my neighbors, Im scared to see them because I have the feeling they want to make me leave the logement I'm on , I tried to go out when I don't here anyone outside (my neighbors)

All that's but deep down I know it's surely fake , one of my friend told me that it's juste derealization (BCS I told him one day I have feeling that everyone is fake and BCS I'm aware it's not true it's derealization) idk

Things feel off those days I want to talk about it to friends but not online , irl

Edit : there other exemple now that I thinks about it , I close my window store (idk if it's the right word) and be in dark when I'm at my house BCS idk there is a scary through that someone will watch me from my window, some day I don't have those trough some day they are strong and when I dream about those , idk if it's reality or just dream it's very ..strange ?

I'm stress to post this message here btw

Thanks anyway