Hey you all guys what's up I just joined this place. I'm a 37yo guy and I was diagnosed with schizoeffective when I was 17, it's been a long and bumpy ride since. But I thought it was great there's a place for people with our disorder to come together and share with each other. I'm a very sociable person and it sucks I can't find ne1 to talk to in the real world because it's so hard to talk even though I love talking with people. I had all kinds of friends,girlfriends, and I worked 2 jobs that I was really good at 1 at a roofing company and 1 at a restraunt after my roofing job and this hit and I lost all that stuff it totally sucked. Major. Ne who thought I'd make my first thread. Hey yall

this one is acrylic on paper 36x20. also just wanted to thank everyone for all the love shown on my last post. it means so much to me.

I want to go to Alaska, I want a career and friends… but thx to schizoaffective I can barely clean the house… feels bad man

Today is my 22nd birthday! I always swore I would never make it to this age, but I did, and I’m happier than ever! I’m medicated and stable, have an amazing husband, and a beautiful apartment.

I was always that person who swore I would never live past 20, but I beat the odds through medication and therapy, and I’m so proud of myself for getting help.

It CAN and DOES get better!!❤️

Once my disability comes in, I'm thinking about attending community College part time to get a degree in business. I was ironically studying psychology when the onset of schizophrenia set in and I had to drop out. But I've improved enough now that I feel like I could go back. What are you're thoughts, opinions, or ideas about this?

Might be insensitive to some but I am done with this shit. Diagnosed schizophrenics who kill people take by far the bulk of the publicity and do 99% of the damage.

It's hard enough dealing with your own symptoms, might be privileged to say but that's the easy part. Controlling how everyone else deals with schizophrenia is impossible. I'd say you're naive if you think it doesn't affect you, or you live under a rock. Being seen as dangerous, or dumb, or both, it's incompatible with EVERYTHING. It limits what you can do. It's why we hide it. What parent would be comfortable having dangerous drug addled schizophrenics near their kids.

No one outside your home cares how much progress you made and how much you struggled. You can't quantify it and you don't score any points for that. Unpopular opinion but apart from surface level sympathy the whole trope of getting high off meth and going psychotic and killing your family member is so far outside my lived experience I don't understand any of it. The people in these articles might as well have contracted rabies which caused extreme madness, that's how foreign it feels. But no of course it has to be schizophrenia.

Just a small rant. Let me know if any of it made sense or if you have comments.

Hey everyone!

I'm pretty sure many of you will come here thinking I'm having a psychotic break and have disconnected from reality but hear me out.

About a month ago I started really pondering life and where I'm at (because my mom turned 70 and losing my dad made me realize everything is fleeting).

Along this pondering came introspection. I took a very deep dive into who I am and have become and tbh some of the things I found were both interesting and frightening. In doing so I was able to identify character flaws and things I didn't like about myself which in turn enabled me to start correcting them.

Among those things identified were traits I inherited when I was first struck with mental illness and basically was able to separate everything into categories.

Anyway I started trying to fix these things and at one point I felt a huge mental shift.

I felt reborn. I felt as I did before getting hit with PS.

No more symptoms. No anxiety. No hallucinations. No social awkwardness. No more being jaded. No laziness. No more excuses.

I was so fkng happy.

This lasted 4 days. I was revelling in the situation. But then... I shifted back. The same heaviness in my mind. Not sure of myself. Symptoms. Erratic. I legitimately almost cried because its like being handed this awesome gift you've been wanting for 16 years just to get it taken away shortly after.

Since then I've been trying to force it back and at times I start feeling better but not close to losing all symptoms and feeling like myself again like that first time.

It comes and goes.

I really want it to be permanent but for now I'm just taking it in stride.

Anyway thanks for reading.

✌🏼

I was approved for disability benefits several months ago, and I have a reassessment a few years into the future, but I'm worried about it because with medications my positive symptoms are largely suppressed and it's more episodic and stress triggered for me. I can still have hallucinations but I haven't had many issues for a while.

My biggest worry is telling them this and potentially being kicked off because of that, even though I've never been able to hold a job for more than a few weeks and I doubt I would be able to with all of my other symptoms that make life difficult.

Is there anyone that's been on disability that can give me some kind of advice or reassurance?

For years I’ve been put on what feels like every antipsychotic under the rainbow, like today my psych doctor changed me over to Rexulti (again) from Zyprexa (too many food cravings). I’m mentally and physically done with trying meds to only deal with:

1. Too tired during the day.
2. Uncomfortable amount of hunger cravings &

W

1. eight gain.
2. Thoughts of SI and SH.
3. Too much anxiety.
4. Too much depression.
5. Cognitive problems (forming words, speaking, and having trouble keeping up with convos).
6. Racing and intrusive thoughts so bad that it’s like an Action Park ride (I have diagnosed OCD as well

as diagnosed

1. both schizoaffective and bipolar, due to countless hospital stays).

How do you guys deal with trying new meds and all the side-effects? My body is so fucking tired and I want ONE antipsychotic to work!

Edit 1: Bot misunderstanding my words

I'm out of habit. I didn't try to lay attention to the day and find my good news. But today I did have a talk with my manager and that went well.

What's your good news.

​

I’m 17. I’ve been diagnosed with schizophrenia twice (in March and June) by the same doctor, who is very experienced and highly respected. I’m currently in a psychiatric hospital where they’re adjusting my medication (I’m taking cariprazine 4.5 mg + other medications), and I seem to be in remission now.

However, the psychiatric hospital I’m currently in diagnosed me with schizotypal disorder because, in my country, they apparently can’t officially diagnose someone with a serious disorder like schizophrenia before the age of 18. But here’s the thing: my doctor at the hospital told me that I’m a “wrong kind of schizophrenic” because I’ve never had problems with hygiene.

Quite the opposite, actually. I’ve always been very concerned about keeping my body clean. Even during my most severe psychotic episodes, I would shower or wash myself every day, or at least every other day. I also didn’t always just throw on random clothes — I had specific outfits and looks that I put together.

When the water supply was cut off because of the bombing (I’m from Ukraine), I would heat water in a pot and use that to wash myself. At that point, the things I cared about most were having access to Lacuna Coil and keeping my body clean.

Even now, in the hospital, I shower every day, even if I have to use cold water. A year ago, during my first hospitalization for psychosis, there was a situation where I wasn’t allowed to wash myself. I walked around the ward screaming delusional things about the end of the world happening on August 29th, and I kept alternating that with screaming that they wouldn’t let me wash myself.

How unusual is this in the context of schizophrenia? Does this actually cast doubt on whether my diagnosis is correct? Are there other people with experiences similar to mine?

I’d be really interested to hear any thoughts or experiences.

I don't want the medication

I don't want to be numbed down

I don't want life to feel like nothing

I don't want to feel depressed

When I'm off my meds, I feel things much deeper and much more compassionately. I love loving and I cannot do that on these meds. I tried so hard to get myself to keep taking them, but the truth is too much to be hidden from me.

I didn't ask to be hospitalized. I never wanted to go back inpatient. The whole "I'm feeling better" phase is over now. I like it better when I don't just feel depressed or low most of the time.

My psychiatrist doesn't listen to me(see my comment on my last post).

This one is pretty little compared to my recent few heads, which made it a little more challenging

I like it 👍 what do you think ? I can’t tell if it’s an improvement from the pink one that showed progress or not …the eyes could be better they bother me a bit, but I did the lips a different way than usual and I like how they turned out

I was just wondering if there's a form of schizophrenia that creates positive, happy uplifting hallucinations? The condition is usually marked with quite nasty, negative and scary audio and visual hallucinations, but can they show up feeling like angels rather than demons?

Just curious, random shower thought, I've never personally experienced any such illness, it must be terrifying.

My mother traumatised me. I had a fear of moths. One morning there was a bunch of months in the bathroom and I was usually the first to shower in the morning for school. I begged and pleaded with her to remove the moths. She said she would.

I hid and ran into my room when she was removing them because she would deliberately try and scare me. She told me to come out and it was safe. I did. I was a little girl. She then had all the moths in her hand and shoved them into my trousers. I screamed and cried. My siblings laughed at me. I had severe tactile hallucinations after that. I said to my mum and dad I feel bugs crawling on my skin, I would wake up and cry and go to them and they’d tell me to go away and go back to sleep.

They didn’t care about me because they didn’t even want me they only had me to obtain citizenship.

I feel pain all over and I can’t handle and work through this trauma. I had a therapy appointment but they cancelled 1 hour before the appointment. I’ve rebooked since.

I recently went through my messages I had sent people and no wonder I have no friends anymore😭😭😭

Hi, I (21f) haven't been posting to reddit as much as usual.

I decided I was gonna try out sex and even bdsm and it was what my life was circling around for a while. I won't go into details about what ended up happening but know I don't think any of it was a good idea, now Im just scared I might be pregnant even though I got my period two weeks ago and didn't have sex since. I feel lonely as fuck. People around me moved on from me and I have no one to talk to right now aside from my mother and grandma (which both of I don't wanna see).

I ended up drinking a lot of vodka on Saturday (like 0.5 l, idk how much it is in American). I wanted to feel better but ended up vomiting because I drank too much. Next day I pretended I was feeling good and went out with my sister to an art gallery. From positives I'm still taking my antipsychotics and I don't have any positive symptoms but I'm still unhappy. I tried self harming with a knife but it was dull. I got into uni for an art degree (I will drop philosophy soon, I took a break and I can retry first year but I don't want to)

My life just feels meaningless. I just life off of distractions. I want to meet people, talk and connect, but I seem useless to other people if not for sex or to talk about themselves. I know I don't have anything interesting to say and I'm not that smart for someone my age but does that really mean I don't deserve friendship? I'm sitting on stairs next to a church and crying even tough I'm not religious.

I got my abilify maintena injections and I thought that maybe I should ask the nurse for help but she never talks to me and I felt embarrassed so I just said "thanks, bye" and walked out. I don't have therapy, I don't even have a refferal and I don't have my own money to pay for it.

I feel stuck in life. I can't focus on anything, like reading or studying so I'm just kinda looking for trouble to feel busy. I'm tired of talking with chatgpt, it's not that helpful anyway.

I ordered a bunch of iv catherers an im gonna do my own piercings. That's the only think im looking forward too so until the package comes I have a reason to stay. What next, i dont wanna know. Probably something bad for me. Even video games dont make me happy no more.

Sorry, that was kinda a meaningless rambling. I kinda want to check myself into a hospital but I dont wanna my family to go through that again so im kinda just stuck there. Having to life a life that I didnt ask for.

Has anyone been successful in getting a work from home accommodation? I have an appointment from my psychiatrist and was considering asking her if she could put forth a recommendation that I can bring to my bosses.

My symptoms have been getting to be too much when I'm at work and I keep having to take time off. I've been anxious that I'm going to lose my job and that anxiety is negatively contributing to my symptoms, making it unbearable at times to be there.

I can manage my symptoms much more effectively at home when the additional pressure of being around others isn't there. My job is 95% on the computer and the other 5% I can go to the office since I live very close.

I was been diagnosed with schizoaffective years ago after multiple hospital visits. It's taken time but ive come to learn myself better. Anyways one thing I never really thought about or noticed much before until recently is the flat affect and memory issues. Thinking about it, it's definitely been more prominent at more times then others. But I guess I'm asking has any random facts, advice or tips and tricks about the flat affect. Or how they've noticed it with themselves and if it's been a struggle at times

I work 4 days a week (in a factory making 24/hr)with Friday off so I can have a 3 day weekend to recover and rest from a stressful week of working with schizophrenia as well as doctors appointments I have are put on Fridays weekly. My mom drives me to appointments on Fridays as she doesn’t have work that day. I even have a doctor’s note that says that I should work only Monday to Thursday and supports 3 days off to recover. Hr wants me to switch my day off to Wednesday and they are saying a doctor can’t choose or recommend a specific day off so they want me to work Monday Tuesday Thursday Friday, their reasoning is simply this, mondays and Fridays are busier than Wednesday so they would put me on a “slower” day. I’ve had Fridays off for more than 6 months now. My mom has a client on Wednesday so she can’t drive me if I switch to Wednesday too. I am in a union and will be talking to the head union guy tomorrow and will update on this post whether he is willing to help me out or not. I want to fight for my Fridays because I really need the downtime and recovery. I just wonder if I should try and fight/die on this hill or not. Any advice would be welcome. Ontario Canada if that matters.